Latest / Dear Chelsea / Where Are We on Kidnapping? With Sean Hayes

Transcript

Where Are We on Kidnapping? With Sean Hayes · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, it's to be Chelsea. Hi, Chelsea's me Catherine.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Oh Hi, It's so nice to be in the l
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: A studio again. Look at us here. I know, I know,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: and yet we're still zooming from other rooms today. I know,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: but doesn't it feel nice to have the nice fall weather.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I came back and I'm like, finally it's season. It's season,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: a new season. I know. I put my heat on
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: in my house. Yes, I just had my heater replaced
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: in my bathroom in my apartment, and I like literally
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: thinked it out loud today. I was like, thank you
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: for existing. It's just so warm and cozy. Oh yeah,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: nice and cozy. That's right. I got a coat. I
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: got a new coat. In New York. Joe bought me
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: a new coat and winter coat because we were there
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: and we were not prepared. Joe goes shopping in every
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: city we go to. He just he starts It's like
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: basically he starts out with nothing and then just acquires
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: clothing while we're there. So every day is a shopping bananza.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I love that he loves the shopping, you don't I know.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I'm like, we can't go to product I go I
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: cannot go to product again. I just can't deal with it.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: He's like, come on, I mean every couple has that issue,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: right right exactly. It's like totally the reverse. I love it.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm the male and he's the female. But
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: he's fine with that and I actually it works and
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: you wind up with having the things you need and
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: maybe some product. Yeah, it's some extra things that I need. Yeah, well,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: other people starving in the world. We have as much
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: ship as we need. Well, Chelsea, I have an update
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: from one of our previous colors. This is from E.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: She is the gal that we talked to whose boyfriend
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: was occasionally drinking and he would say nasty things to her.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Remember this is why I don't want to be with you. Yeah,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: so she says, Oh my gosh, I just heard my
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: email response in the episode. Thanks so much for the
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: helpful advice. I wanted to update all of you and
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: tell you that I gave him one more chance and
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: he sucked up. So I broke up with him. And
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: guess what. Yeah, since then, my career has skyrocketed, and
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: so many other things in my life are coming together now.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: It's crazy what happens when you respect yourself enough to
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: know when someone isn't giving you what you deserve. Chelsea,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I bought tickets to your Vancouver tour and I'm so
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: excited to see you live. I love you and thank
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: you again. E. Oh my god, how fucking awesome is that?
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: It's just delightful. I love taking their power, you know
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Like I love saying you don't fucking settle.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Do not settle for ship. We don't have to settle.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: When you settle, then you're not creating a higher standard
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: for yourself. And we always want the best of what
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: we deserve, and we deserve the best. Every single one
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: of us deserves the best. So good for you, E.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I love it. And it sounds like she just like
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: unblocked some energy, like something that was not so great
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: in her life, and all of a sudden, this flood
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: of wonderful things came to her. Yeah, right, exactly. And
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: we should never be caretakers in our lives, you know
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: what I mean. Not for romantic partners, unless you know,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: something terrible happens, and that's a different set of circumstances.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: But when somebody has a drinking problem that they can't control,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: that is not your problem right exactly. And you know,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I mean we talked a little bit about this on
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: the episode, but it is a little bit of that
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: in vino veritas, Like if somebody is saying something to
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: you when they're in an altered state that like it
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: might be what they really feel, that they really they're
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: really not into it. And guess what, you don't have
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: to be into them either. What is it? What is
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: the phrase you used in vito vitiation veritas, in vino veritas,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: which is in wine? There is truth or something to that?
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: How you say what you really mean when you're you know,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: half in the bag. Okay, I got it, and so
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: she is doing great. Um, I was excited to tell
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: you about that. Well. I love updates. Please if you've
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: called in before, please I we love to hear updates,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: especially positive ones, and even if they're not great, then
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I would like to hear that feedback too. Also, when
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: you want to write into the show, it's Dear Chelsea
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: project at Gmail. So make sure you are writing into
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: the show because we get all kinds submission. So I
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: don't think that your problem isn't worthy of being talked
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: about or it's not appropriate, like we'll find a way
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: to talk about it based on who our guests are,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: and we kind of curate the shows for you know,
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: the topics for the guests we have on, so you
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: never know when your topic will be relevant exactly. So
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: we have a really exciting guest today. Yeah. He yes,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: he has a couple of podcasts actually currently going. Everybody
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: knows him from Willing Grace and he is on the
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: smash success podcast called SmartLess with Jason and Will Arnett.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Jason's last name is our net Too because he and
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Will are married, and he also has his own podcast
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: called Hypochondria Actor Hypochondria Actor hypochondract Or. He'll tell us
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: when you get Hypochondriactor Hypochondriactor, which I've been a guest
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: on smart List and I will be a guest on
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Hypochondriactor as well. So please give your attention to one
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: of my funniest friends, Sean Hayes. So I saw your
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: friend dead missing at my show at the Beacond. She
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: came to my show at the Beacond. I love her. Yeah,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: she was cute. She's cute. Can we touch? Of course.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I want you to slide in here, come as close
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: as you want. I just want to be able to
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: feel this little baby right there. Attention today. Why are
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: you so tired? Honey? Mr Muscles feel nice? Thanks? I
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: got up like, yeah, I got up at five today.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know, so did I I drank too much
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: this weekend? I think me too. And I got up
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: at five. I got up at five and today, yeah,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: this morning I got up at five and I said
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: to Joe Koy. He goes, are you getting up? And
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: I go, yeah, I think I'm going to get up,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: and he goes, I'll get up with you. And I go,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: all right, I'm going to get on the peloton. He's like,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I'll get on the treadmill. Then we did that. I go,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I'm going to my trainers at seven five and he goes,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I'll do that with you too, and I go, this
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: is fucking awesome. I go, you just do whatever I do.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I love it for two years and then you're like,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: we need to get my boyfriend and you just start dating.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: That's when I'll started dating women, because that's going to
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: happen at some point. You mean it hasn't well, I mean,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: you know, just for a night or two, nothing serious.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Are you enjoying your podcasts that you're doing SmartLess. You
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: sound like you Yeah. Yeah, Oh my god, I laugh
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: so hard. It's so fucking funny this one. Yeah, this
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: is well news flash, you're funny. Hey, how about how
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: about thirty minutes we talk, thirty minutes we nap, and
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: then we wrap it up. Yeah, don't worry, it's going
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: to be like that. We go an hour and that's
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: our limit, so don't worry about going over. You know
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: what's so funny is podcasts that go for two hours,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: like taxes. Yeah, Dox thought he was going to be
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: here for two hours too. I had to cut him off.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I was like, nobody, nobody, nobody's going for that long,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: by the way, for me to for me to catch
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: for me to catch up with a podcast in my car,
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I have like a twenty minute I don't have time
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: to listen to a two hour fucking interview. When people
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: like did you listen to so and so on Stern,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, or Mick Jagger was just on Stern. I tried, well,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: that was because he's also you know, like, well he's
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: experiencing dementia or something, because he couldn't get his thoughts
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: like yeah, I think he's all he's like eighty, but
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I was like, I cannot listen to this for two hours.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: It's too fuacking long. Yeah. Well, and you know I
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: don't have Rolling Stones on my playlist. Okay, so any
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: you have add but mostly did you hear the new one?
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: It's fantastic. My friend today goes by the name of
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Sean Hayes. He he he is an actor extraordinaire. He
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: is a flaming homosexual. Are we allowed to say that anymore?
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I doubt it? But he's also well, he's so talented,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: so fucking talented. Remember, well, we've talked about this so
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: many times, so maybe we don't need to revisit it,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: but remember how talented you were on the set of
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Will and Grace and how what a basket case I was.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: The only part I don't like about rehashing this with
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: you is you pretend that I wasn't. No, I'm agreeing
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: with you. You're a basket case. Okay, thank you. But
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: but what I'm saying is it's hard to come in
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: any set that's been like around that long, because you're
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: you're coming into the quote unquote house or the home
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: of these people who have relationships ready, so you're trying
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: to figure out your place in a week. But that's
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: not what That's not what that was about. But I
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: was going through something and that was the difference through.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah I'm through okay, Yeah, yeah through it. If that
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: was still going on, I'd probably be fucking dead. How
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: are you? I'm great? Yeah? Many of these do you
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: do a day? This is my second one today, but
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: yeah I usually do too. Maybe three a day? Is
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: that hard for you to keep it up? Two is
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: not hard? Three gets a little bit tricky. And then
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: what do you do? Kind of check out? Well somebody talking? Yeah, no,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not like that. Usually I can pretty much focus,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: but yeah, that couldn't happen on the third hour. I'm
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: much better at focusing now than I used to be.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Like when I did my talk show, if somebody was
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: fucking boring, I would literally just be thinking about lunch.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Really yeah, like what did you? How did you? Wasn't
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: it scary to kind of like have your mind wander
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: and how would get because I and my mind wandering
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: was better for the show than me listening to their dribble.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: It's so funny. So many talk shows have I and
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: you think I've only had two. Oh, I feel like
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: you've had more. I've had two, but they've I've done
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: them both for Chelsea Lately, Chelsea and everything else was
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: documentaries and then after Late like other shows, nothing talk show. Well,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: you're so good at it. Why did you never want
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: to do like a daytime or a nighttime I know
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Chelsea Lately was a nighttime thing and Chelsea and Chelsea
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: was streaming, but didn't you want to do something mainstreaming?
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: All right? I don't want to be told what to
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: do by a bunch of old white guys, all right.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: I'd like to tell them like, this is how it's
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: going to be in blah blah blah. And by the way, Sean,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: this is not an interview show where you interview me.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: This is an interne show where we talk about your
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: sex life. For the first thirty minutes, that's about You
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: don't need that long. I want to tell well, I
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: know that. Yeah, he's not lying everybody. His lover partner, lifesaver,
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: actually husband, husband extraordinaire. His name is Scottie, and he's
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: exactly how you'd picture him, adorable. And Sean is about
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle when it
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: comes when it comes to domesticity, I mean you are
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: worse than I because I've been there. Well, you didn't
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: learn it from me, because we just met as adult,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: so I don't know where the funk you learned it.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: But you come from a big family with a lot
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: of kids where you had to fucking or in your
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: keep in a different way. I don't understand why you
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: can't do anything, but I remember reading I remember you
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: telling me and also reading about you saying I don't
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: know how to turn the TV on. I don't know
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: how any text things work. I got this house thing like,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know if a door bricks, I don't know how.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Then you know knob works. And I'm exactly the same
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: way if I get a Google doc, if I see
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: something in an email and it says google doc, I
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: shut my computer down because I'm so scared that I
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: will get in I will get in there and I
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: will delete another person's work or something untoward will happen,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: and I just I'm like, fuck. If I get a
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: drop box and just give my phone to my assistant,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, what is this? I know I can't
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: but it's such an indicator of our age now that
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I want to fight against it. You know, only when
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: you got your internet, like your first like I was
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: living in l A. I think I was at first Internet. Yeah,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: like email address and all that. Well that by the way,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: I have the same email address I did when I
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: was nineteen years old. No, yeah, I still pay month.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: You and me are the last two people that say, well, agree,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: we're so lazy. It's so lazy. First of all, I
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: would love to cut off all the people that have
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: that address, you know what I mean, Like there's so
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: much motivation to change, and it feels like that's the
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: easiest one to hack. What are they going to hack
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: for me? I'm already like like drop boxes and Gmail.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Well yes, but there's match nothing interesting attachment. Anytimever seen attachment,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I just delete that. You know. It's like a contract
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: is super important country, like I never got it. How's
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: it going? How it's like these questions are amazing. It's
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: going great. Yeah, yeah, Sean is a fucking asshole, by
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: the way, So just prepare yourself for that ship. I
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: don't know. How's it going. It's going great, busier than ever.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: You know, you figured it, you know, during during the
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: during the my god, I almost said something horrible during
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: We've lost them, It's over, It's over. During the pandemic,
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: for some people, it was like a holidays. That's why
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: I probably thought of that during the pandemic. During the pandemic,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: you know, like everybody we pivoted because that's a real
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: popular word. You were you triggered by the Holocaust? No,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: I was. I wasn't triggered by the panic, as you know.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I do smart List with Jason Bateman and we'll learn
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: that and we're literally just like, hey, let's do a
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: podcast literally just to hang out because nobody could go anywhere.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: So we set it up on zoom and we just
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: did it for like we're gonna let's just do like
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: five of these and be done. And here we are,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, really super fun. And then I do Hypochondriactor,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: which you're gonna come on because I'm an actor who's
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: hypochondract is you know, And um, I can show this
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: on the thing, right, So I got my Now I
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: got a foot boot because he has his toe hurts,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: so he's wearing a foot boots. Yeah. It's pretty dramatic
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: and it falls right in line with being a hypocontract,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: hypochontract actor, hypochontrac actor, hypochondria actor, hypochondria actor. Right, Okay,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: I didn't really, I didn't realize you and Will and
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Jason were such good friends for a long, long, long,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: long time. Yet those guys are so funny. Oh my god,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: they make me laugh so hard. Yeah. Yeah, So that's
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: how I've been That's what I've been doing. I'm also
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: doing a play called Goodnight Oscar, where I play Oscar Event,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: who is George Gershwin's best friend. And the story is
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: very kind of Saliary Mozart, a very contentious, you know,
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: love hate relationship between Oscar and Georgie's music and h
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: but it also takes the whole play takes place backstage
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: of The Tonight Show when Jack Parr hosted, and Oscar
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Event is very famous for talking about mental health publicly
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: before anybody else did in the fifties, and it was
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: super shocking to hear it back then, and he ended
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: up in mental institutions and he was addicted to prescription drugs.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: He used to say things like he's super super, super
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: witty and funny. Anyway, so I'm doing that and where
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: where can we see that play that's at the Goodman
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Theater in Chicago. That's your hometown, hometown. We open there
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: and then I think we're going to Broadway after that.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Oh how exciting and smart Liss is on the road
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: because I was just in Boston performing at the Fillmore
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: and I saw that Smartness was at the way. I think, right,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: you guys, I don't even I mean I have to.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I don't memorize the two Are you going or did
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: you go already? No? No, it's it's the first two
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: weeks of February. Oh how exciting is that to do that?
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And then I do the first two weeks on tour
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: of Smartness in February. Then I go do the play
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: for probably six months, and then I have this other
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: big project that if it goes, I'll go right into that. Okay,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: And is that a transition that is? Um? Yeah? And
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: so for the smart List podcast, you guys are gonna
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? Bring guests on for the show.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna do it just like the podcast, which
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know if people know the conceit of our
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: show of our smart List, it's called is one of
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: us brings on the guests that the other two don't
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: know about, and it's a surprise to the other two,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: so they interview them without being prepared or anything. That
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: just asked questions in real time like we're doing right now,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: and so we'll do this to our just exactly the same. So,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: which is gonna be really fun to try to keep
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: it hidden. Yeah, how many backstage like and and you're
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: huge big names. How fun is that? How cool? Yeah?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I had a great time being on the podcast. Thank
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: you for asking, Thank you for coming on. You're so funny.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that story about that car ride, that
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: the road trip with the guy in the hotel and cocaine. Yeah,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: that cocaine story was a good wit. I want to
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: ask you something that because you you seem to have
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: like unbelievably boundless energy. You are always and I'm not
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: just saying this, it's really inspiring to me and I'm
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: sure other people that want to do this, But you
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: just seem to be always on the road, always creating something,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: always writing a book, always just in it and creating
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: and creating and creating. Why where do you get that from?
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Don't you ever get exhausted and you want to quit?
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Like what's the deal. I think that's a question for
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: the end of the show, when you're supposed to ask
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: me a question. You just got here so a way
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: to try and get the funk out of here as
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: soon as you sat down. This is just like hanging
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: out with you in real life. And to tell the
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: story about bringing you to Chicago with me, that was
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: so fun. That was so fun, But you were such
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: a pain in the ass about it. Because remember I
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: was doing my book tour for Life Will be the
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Death of Me and you and Scottie were coming. You
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: were nice enough to say, yes, you were going to
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: interview me somewhere in Chicago. I said, do I have
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: to read the book? You're like, I'm not talking. Yes,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah, you got to read the fucking book,
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: you asshole, Like, I mean, how hard is it to
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: read a book? But apparently in this town it is
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: fucking hard the whole thing. Yes, Because then you realize
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: we had so many commonalities and similarities in our upbringing
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: and just like kind of Mayhem, and you come from
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: a large family that's dysfunctional as well. I mean, I
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: don't know many families that aren't were dysfunctional. At this point,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: and then we had a couple of drinks before we
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: went on stage. Yeah yeah, which was the theme of
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: that tour. Everyone who I brought on that tour needed
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: to drink before they got on stage. So by the
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: time we got on stage with half the people, like
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Leah REMANI did my l a one and she had
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Fireball for the very first time in her life. She
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: had four shots of fireballs Fireball exactly. I didn't I
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: didn't know this until then either. And now I know
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: it's the thing or something. It's well, you don't even
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: have to light because it feels like it's it tastes
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: like it's a lit already. Now I know it from
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: skiing because my friend from skiing like fireball. So it's
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: a great like warming drink, like if you need to
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: warm up in your yeah, something like that. And they
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: say it actually has like a little bit of anti
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: freeze in it, like not feel anti freeze, but it's
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: banned in Europe. It's like hot cinnamon is very bad
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: for you. Okay, Well, I don't mind drinking a little
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: bit of anti freeze. I mean there are worse things
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: that I put in this body. Yeah, did you get
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: COVID by the way, oh quit high five? Did you know?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: I did it right? But wait, we were talking about
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: the tour drinking and we came out. Oh yeah, Sorry,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: I've got a bit discursive today because I'm so excited
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: to see you, seeing you, and so long I know,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: to be here and on you and you and inside
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: of me. Yes, it's such a dream come true. I
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: remember the remember the time we ever, ever, ever met.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: It was out of charity backstage, and you remember there
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: were a lot of balls. It was. I think it
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: was an Alzheimer's benefit. Okay, and you go and this
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: one goes never met, and she's sitting in the like
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: you're sitting backstage up against the wall with your legs crossed,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: kind of slouched over with a drink in your hand,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: kind of like just like a real judge. Look. And
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I walked past you go, hey, Jack's will here, And
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, I don't that doesn't sound like me
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: at all. I think when I met you told me
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: that you weren't out of the closet. I did. I
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: think you did. I think you were joking and I
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: and that made me laugh, Like I said something about
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: you being gay, and you said, I'm not out of
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: the closet and I started laughing hysterically. I was like,
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: whether you are or not? You are? No, I was, well,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: ever since yeah, ever since you started well expressing yourself,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: really chatting, how was I would imagine that you enjoyed
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: COVID with Scottie because you're antisocial. No, I'm not. I
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, you are. No, not really, I mean
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: are you? Are you sometimes? Yeah? No? No, I am
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: antisocial because of COVID question. Let me tell you something.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I learned a lot from Maria Striver, who's you know,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: you have to go over there by the way Sunday
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: night dinner. No, we have to go hang out together.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Make sure it happens. I swear, Okay, let's do it together.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Because she keeps asking me to come over with Joe
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Koy and I'm like, oh, I'm never Yeah, let's do it.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Let's put it in the calendar. But no, but for real,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: She's like, you know how when a massive advocate she
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: is for the Alzheimer's movement and educating people, especially women,
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: about the risks and how women they don't know why
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: women are more susceptible to get Alzheimer's than men, Like
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: I think it's three to one or something like that.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: I don't quote me on that, but one of the
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: things that she always talks about that's really stuck in
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: my head because my mom passed away of Alzheimer's is
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: and I'm kind of a woman, is to force yourself
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: to be to be and remain social. Right, So when
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: you say I'm kind of anti social, don't go out.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I sure, of course I'd rather sit at home on
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: pajamas and watch a movie. But I also find the
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: challenge of meeting new people really fun and getting to
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: know them. And I think that's why I enjoyed podcasting
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: and interviewing and stuff like that, because I like people.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: I really do like people. I like learning about them,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: and I remain curious, which I think is really really important.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: But anyway, it's one of the biggest things to combat
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Alzheimer's is to force yourself to remain social, especially the
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: older you get. That's good. That's good to know, Yeah,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: for sure, because nobody wants to so you have to.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: It's like going to the gym for your brain. Yeah,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: the mental gym. We like that. That's that's good. At Nay,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I'll remember that the next time I'm about to cancel
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: a dinner. Yeah real, well right now. The thing is,
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I'm on tour, so I'm so fucking depleted and exhausted.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: So when I come home doing this, like last night,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I had dinner with my three girlfriends set and then
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I was out with Joe and we were having a
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: snack and I was like, I just don't think I
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: can make this dinner. I just don't think I can go.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: And because it's going to be all about me because
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: I had no one seen me in long time. And
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: then that pressure. I don't like that pressure where it's like,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: oh my god, how tell me? How about it? Tell
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: me how? Well? Yeah, and then they want to see
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Joe and me together because my friends are really excited
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: I want to meet Yeah, yeah, I know. I want
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: you to meet Joe too. We'll do that at Maria.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: A little photoshop but that's just yeah, I don't know.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: I know, well, when you see him in person, hell,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: look the same. He still looks photoshops. So we've got
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: that to go on. And I was very honest with
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: my friends. I said, you guys, you know what, I'm
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: just I don't have the bandwidth. I'm really stretched too
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: thin I'm really sorry because I you know, I want
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: to show up and see my friends obviously, But when
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I have such I have two days home of a turnaround,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: and I squeeze everything into those two days, and I'm
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: just like yeah, and then I'm like, I have to
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: be refreshed when I perform, I had to be well rested.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: All that kind of like when when God forbid you
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: know something awful, like somebody is sick in your family,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: or you have a sick friend, or you have or
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: God forbid somebody passes away that you love. It's you're
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: now at the age where I don't really tell people
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: because then as much as they care, and we're blessed
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: that they care, it becomes a second and a third
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: job to answer those texts and those emails and take
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: care of them for trying to take care of you, right, So,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: and it sounds kind of ungrateful or but it's not.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: It's just you're exhausted and you're depleted right from dealing
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: with whatever situation, like like all the updates I had
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: to give my mom's friends, my friends, my family everything.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: When I took care of my mom, I was like, well, plus,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: I gotta take care of my mom. So now I'm
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: doing and then I gotta work. So it's just endless.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: So now if something like my my one of my
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: brothers passed away from COVID and December lest Yeah, and
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I didn't really tell a lot of people, of course telling,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: but everybody knows by now. Of course it was almost
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: a year ago and it was really sad. But yeah,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: that's the thing anyway, that's relating, relating that kind of
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: stuff to overworking yourself. I hear you, I hear. I'm
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: sorry to hear about your brother. That's terrible. How did
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: you guys find COVID together? I mean, you guys spend
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: it an We looked, we shopped, shopped all day night online,
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: we found finally found it. What did you find covid?
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: He said, how did you find covid? Oh? So stupid?
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: What a stupid, stupid response. I don't know if you
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: know what this podcast is, but people basically call in
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: for advice and they want real advice. Okay, so how
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: did I find? Like? What did I? No, no, no, no,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: you don't have to answer that question. You already blew it.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: You already blew it. And by the way, I think
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: your brother passing away takes the cake on that subject matter.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: So let's not even a crazy story about that. So
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: my sister, So my brother passes away, the memorials like
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: three months after that, and my sister did this great
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: thing where I grew up in this house in the
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: suburbs of Chicago and the address was eight four six,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: and so she made hats and t shirts to give
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: out to family and friends that set our address on it,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: which I thought was really touching. And so I have
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: the hat on right now, and I was going around
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: like I'd go to the gas station and the grocery store,
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: whatever errands I was doing, I would always have this
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: hat on in memoriam of my brother, and people would
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: kind of like give me a heads up and a
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: nod and like way to go. And I was like,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I don't understand what's happening. And it happened all the time.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: It was at the gym, and people like way to go,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: and I was like, what is that. So I was
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: watching a news conference about one of the many, many,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: many African American kids shot by a police officer wrongly,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: all those kinds of things, and I'm watching this one
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: of those stories, and on the press conference. All these
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: guys had a hat on. That's at and I was like, what,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: And it's the amount of time that George Floyd was
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: being held down, which is tragic. And then I was like,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: oh and put I put two and two together. So
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: they were all kind of thinking it was one thing
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: and it was another. But I was like, hey, it's
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: got two great causes in one. Yeah. Yeah, and then
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: you didn't have to lift a finger or go to anymore.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Just there you go. There you go, problem solved problems.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: I can get that whole story if you want. No,
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: I like that story. It's cute, it's sweet. Okay. Yeah.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: So we basically give advice. People call in and surprisingly
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: either pretty sincere and earnest. There's not a lot of
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: fucking assholes. So you have to dig deep into your
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: reservoir of knowledge. I know you've been to therapy and
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: you know, well you should be and after that and
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: we have, especially after this abusive hour, and so you
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: have to do you know, we want to give them
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: sincere life advice and how to how to get to
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: the next positive place. So I just want you to
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: be prepared. You need to be as involved as possible
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: and Hopefully thematically we will be able to have matched
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: some of your interests or lifestyle choices to our callers. Yeah,
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: because it's a choice. Yeah. And Catherine, our lovely producer,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: will introduce us to each and every right, and some
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: people will be live and we'll see that, and some
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: people just write it fun you get to see their
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: lovely faces. But before we go to some callers, should
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: we take a quick break? Sure, let's take a quick
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, Sean, We're going to take a quick break now, excellent,
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: we look like such a happy couple. Ad breaks should
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: always be for selfies. I think it, I got it.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: It's erect. Now baby shark is up. So our first
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: email comes from Michelle and this is a little bit
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: of relationship and marriage advice. Dear Chelsea, I'm hoping you
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: can give some advice for my husband and I. We
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: seem to have the same repeating argument. For context, We've
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: been married for three years, have two young daughters, and
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: we still really like each other. The problem is I
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: will regularly load both girls into my car to take
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: them to school or wherever, and my gaslight is on.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I instantly become furious and rage call him because I've
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: run out of gas before in his car, luckily not
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: with the girls, but I still held up traffic and
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: had to sit on the side of the road looking
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: like a dumb blonde. I know he innocently forgets, but
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: it still makes me feel like he doesn't care about
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: me or my time. He cannot understand why I'm upset,
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: and we'll just tell me it's not that big of
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: a deal and I can just go get gas, which, yes,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: obviously that's all true, but it's frustrating that it keeps happening.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I've also tried to explain to him how it's ungentlemanly
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: and dangerous for me to have no gas with the
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: baby in the car. I hate arguing over stupid things,
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: but I also hate that he doesn't take the effort
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: to remedy the one recurring issue we have. What do
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: we do? Michelle and George and Denver? Okay, Michelle and
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: George and Denver. Do you want to go first? Do
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: you want me to go first? Go ahead and take
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: the lead. So I think that marriage and relationships about compromise.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Scotty and I always say that you need to fall
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: in respect with somebody, not in love, because if you
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: fall in respect with somebody, the leve will happen after
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: because everyone like I want to be in love. No
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: you don't. You want to be in respect. If you
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: really want a relationship, you want to be in respect
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: with the person. So that's the first thing. If you
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: respect each other and you like each other, sit down
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: and make a compromise. It's not that hard. Hey, If
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: the thing is below this level of the gas, you
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: know whatever, go fill it up, your fucking idiot. And
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: then so I'll be and you know what, I'll do
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: the same for you when I don't have the kids
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: in the car. Exactly. This isn't a difficult I mean
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: the prob the fact that being difficult, this is as
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: hard as it. Guess if the fact that your husband
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: is being resistant to like understanding why it's a ungentlemanly
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: that is ungentlemanly, but be unsafe for your children. You
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: don't want to be in a position where you're ever
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: going to run out of gas. I think a practical
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: way of addressing the matter, as annoying as it may be,
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: is offering to do the same for him. Yes, And
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: and you got to come up with rules. You have
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: got to come up with rules. So the rule is
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: the second it goes below half, who's ever driving when
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: it goes below half? Fill it up? And you can't
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: be a dick about it and be like, whoa, it
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: wasn't the h above the half when I yeah, And
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: it is about respect, and so you should drive that
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: point home, you know a little bit, and say that
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good that you're telling him that you
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: need something that you feel unsafe and that he doesn't
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: have the time to deal with that or he can't
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: see it. It's like just you saying that doesn't make
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: you feel comfortable or safe should be enough. So I
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: could totally understand your frustration. And if there's something that
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: you can do for him that's a compromise other than
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: the gas, Like I mean, if the gas isn't an
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: issue for him, then maybe he doesn't care if there's
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: a full tank or not. But if there's something else
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: you can do, you know, always offering up your partner,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: it is a good way to compromise, to say, like,
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: you're not the unreasonable one. I'm also willing to do this,
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: but fall in respect to each other is a really
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: beautiful thing that you should take to that conversation as well.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: It's so annoying to have disagreements like that with your husband,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: to have your husband be like, no, I don't see
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: the problem with coming home with an empty gas Why
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: not that's an issue? I mean, that wouldn't Scotty and
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: I would nip that in the butt. Yeah, but they
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: already have children and they're married. Have fucking annoying to
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: have to be like, now I have to explain to
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: you that you I don't I would prefer that you
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: didn't cheat on me. What right, because it's like that
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: common sense. Yeah, And I love the idea of setting
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: up rules. You're setting up systems for yourself. I think
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: the one thing that stands out to me too is
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: he can't understand why she's upset, but she's also rage
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: calling him. So take a time, sit down when you're
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: not upset about it, and be like, you know what,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: from a logical perspective, let's just do this. This is
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: the new system. When it gets to a quarter tank
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: or a half tank or whatever your rule is, and
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: you always have gasol the tank. Yeah, it's not what
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: you say, it's how you say it. You can't be like,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: can you fucking put when I come, nobody's gonna listen
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: to that. I'm going to use the best example I
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: have in my most recent situation with my relationship is
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: I never have my ringer on on my phone never ever, ever,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: because I just would prefer not to get phone calls.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: You know, but you never saying oh yeah, right, so
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I never get text alerts. I mean, I look at
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: my phone frequently, so it's not it's not an issue,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: but like, I miss calls all the time, and I
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: like it that way. But my boyfriend really likes to
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: FaceTime and likes to connect several times a day, which
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: is not something that I'm used to, but it's something
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: that I'm totally happy to do for him because I
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: love him and he's so sweet and that I'm yeah,
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: I'll do it. But when I when I have it
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: off and I miss it like a FaceTime, he gets
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: really annoyed. He's like, did you not what? What did
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: you not see it? I'm like, well, I don't have
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: my ringer on, so I didn't see it. You're working? Yeah, well,
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, am I ever really working? I mean, I
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: wouldn't have my ringer on right now because I'm just
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: waiting for something to interrupt this. I only put it
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: on when I am marking so I could have interruption.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: But you know, now with him, I do put my
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: ringer on because it's just easier for him. He wants
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: my ringer on, and it's not like a controlling thing.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: He just likes to be able to connect when he
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: wants to connect and I and I'm like, yeah, no problem,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: it's no fucking problem. It's not my inclination. But of course,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: if it means something to someone else, just fucking do it. Yeah,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: you have to meet them where they are, yeah, or
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: meet them across the street and then go get a
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: drink off. Yeah. I used to hate FaceTime. I used
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: to think it was like an assault, right. Well yeah,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: if you got like a blind FaceTime without any warning,
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: it would be like, what, like I don't from Well yeah,
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: but I'm also like half the time I'm in bed
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: not feeling like I want to be seen by strangers,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: Like it's always friends, Well it's yeah, I mean, well
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: our net will always face, will always love that. Yes,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: if I literally just woke up, I'll answer like, hey man,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: what's going on? He's like busy day whatever. Okay, we
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: solve that my mom will spring a FaceTime on me,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: and then she'll turn the phone to whoever she's with
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: and be like, say, Hi, that's so annoying. Yeah, that's
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: that's you know what. Yeah, that happens all the time.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Joe will be like, look how beautiful my girlfriend is
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: to a group of people, and then I have to like,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: look at these people, say you are beautiful. Yeah, I'm like,
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: oh God, that's so painful. So our next color is
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Josh and he is here with us, he says. Dear Chelsea,
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: I'm afraid a very close friendship of twenty eight years
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: may have ended. And forty six and my friend when
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: we were seniors in high school. I'm godfather to her
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: three boys, ages teen, thirteen, and nine. I'm their uncle,
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: gay uncle l O L. Held each of her boys
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: in my arms when they were babies and have babysat
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: them countless times. I love them dearly. They're the closest
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: I will ever come to having kids of my own.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: About five months ago, my friend cut off communication with me.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: She felt two other friends of mine and I were
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: judging her parenting. She felt betrayed because you raised reasonable
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: concerns about very stressful home life dynamics. I understand the
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: friendship may never recover, but I'm heartbroken that I'm forbidden
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: to contact my godsons. I feel like this is what
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: divorce feels like, and my partner has run off with
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: the kids. Thanks. That's josh Hi, Josh Hi, josh h
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: h Chelsea, Hi, how are you? Are you at a
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: standing desk? I'm at a standing desk. Yes, I like it,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I would say, I would. Can we drive right in? Yeah,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: drive right in. I'll ask questions. I think I totally
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: know what you mean. I have got kids too, and
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: their parents were very, very were like family, and I'm
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: always careful to say things like I know I'm not
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: the parent, but have you thought about or you know,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: and give them that respect of knowing you know there's
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: a line and stop me if I'm going to cross it.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Always giving them the control of that they deserve because
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: they're the parents, and after that disclaimer, then diving in
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: with whatever my thoughts are so that they so it
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: disarms them. Almost. I think though, that that's already happened, right,
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: it's already too late. Yeah, we have I feel like
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: it's myself and two other very close friends. We've been
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: friends for decades. I think we have really walked the
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: line really well with her and telling her about our concerns,
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: and you know, it's more of like when she tells
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: us that we're you know, you're not parents, you don't understand.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: It's like kind of sticking the knife and twisting it
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: like it feels more like that. But Sean, I I
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: agree with what you said. That's a really good point.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: And I would say, like, maybe there's a way to
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: say what I just said, or you're in version if
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: you believe in what I just said. I always start
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: if somebody said I'm feeling somebody's not receiving yes, I
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: always say, are you open to talking about this issue
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: right or are you open to hearing something from me
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: right now? Because if they say no, great, let me
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: know when you are, because then again giving them the
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: control to let you then say how you feel that way,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: it's not your's, there's no fault to be had. So yeah,
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: that's true, that's great advice. But so what happened, Like
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: did you collectively tell her? Because people don't like that either, right, Right,
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: So we're all kind of a very close knit group
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: of friends, and there's there's three of us in this group,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: and we we each went to her with our concern.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: I had a friend who reached out to her via
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: email saying, you know, I have to set some boundaries.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Here's what I'm seeing. I can't be witnessed to this behavior.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of yelling, there's throwing them objects. And
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: then another friend of mine who's a single mom, coming
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: from her perspective of you know that she had been
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: through that she had had people come to her and say, look,
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: this is getting out of control. So she had came
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: it from from a standpoint of I've been in your position.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: To my friend and my other friend who's the godmother,
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: she works with family dynamics. She she doesn't for a
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: living and so she knows a lot about kids and
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: family dynamics. And I was the one who actually just
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: told her in person. I said, hey, these are concerns
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: that that we are very We love you, this is
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: coming from a place of love. And she just shut down.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: I mean it was just a complete shutdown. How long
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: ago did this happen? So this happened in February of
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: this year. Wow, And it's been kind of rocky since then,
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: or just silent since it's been pretty much silent, I
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: have had a little bit of communication. Of the three
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: of us, I've had probably the most communication, which is
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: not much at all. But I was able to talk
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: with two of the boys and and they both said, Josh,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I miss you. I miss you. It just it brought
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: me to tears. And I just like, it's like, how
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: do I you know, like these kids I want to
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: see see her kids, and they want to see me.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: So I feel like the kids are really they're not
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: They're being punished and they shouldn't be right. Was there
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: is there any kind of way to say to ask
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: her if she'll take your call as long as the
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: ringers turned on that uh that necessary? Is there any
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: way sorry that I'm sorry that we're bringing our personal
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: stuff into this anytime. Is there any way to say
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: to her, to ask her the question again, to give
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: her control to say? Is there any way to rectify
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: the situation? Is there anything I can do or say?
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: Would you want to meet? Would you be open to
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: meeting to maybe discussing and I can hear how I
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: can do better and uh and learn from you, and
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: then hopefully you'll be open to that, you know, because
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: who could who could deny that? Right? I think that's
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: a really good point. I think, And one of the
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: things we haven't explore a lot of is what saying
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: what can we can we talk about this in person?
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is you know, we're talking decades of
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: friendship and you know, lots of experiences and knowing the
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: three boys since they were babies, and it's like, we
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: can't let something like this just go and maybe you
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: know email and this sort of it's juvenile behavior. And
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: but but again, aside from that, like maybe we just
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: need can we sit down and can we talk? Yeah?
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: And I think maybe not as a group, you know
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: what I mean, because she obviously feels ganged up on
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: and got and shut down because of that reason. So
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: I think like instead of doing it as a group,
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: think or it's a different group thing than you and
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: I Josh are used to. Yeah, got it, John, I
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: think I'm down, but like, you know, really talking about
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: you know, the kids like I missed the kids, you know,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: and making that it like why do we have to
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: punish the kids? I understand that your feelings got hurt,
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: and you're right, I'm not a parent. Obviously that approach
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: didn't work with her, you know, and this is important
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: to me. And there's no how old are the kids now?
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: The kids are and fifteen? Yeah? And is she married? Yeah?
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: So how has your communication been with her? Like? What
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: is the short small? Like what have you communicated with
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: her since? So she had sent us three of us
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: an email saying, look, I don't want you to reach out.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: I don't need your advice. I don't want your advice.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: And I actually about a month later, said hey, can
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: can we talk? And we did talk on the phone.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: It didn't go that well in the sense that I
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: didn't feel like there was any movement forward. And then
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: she actually reached out and wanted to meet with another
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: friend of mine two other friends separate from the group,
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: But she ignored me the whole time. And I tried,
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: I really tried to make conversation to ask her how
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: how things were going, and it just didn't go anywhere.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: It sounds like she's pretty emotionally shut down, yes, and
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: she's probably having a really, really challenging time raising three boys.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: It sounds like because she doesn't know how to handle
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: it right and doesn't want any advice, which means she
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: knows she's doing something wrong or she feels like she's
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: doing something wrong, right, I think that's accurate. Yeah, I
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: think you have to like look at the situation as
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: if like there's there's nothing you're going to be able
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: to do to help her parenting. You can only influence
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: those children by your own actions and your own relationships
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: with them. So your main goal here just has to
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: be to revitalize that relationship, not try to, you know,
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: get her to admit that she's got any problems with
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: her parenting. That's futile. You know, she's not going to
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: realize that through anything from you saying anything to her. Obviously,
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: she's going to have to come to grips with that
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: at some other point in her life, if at all.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: So the only way to to to try, I think
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: you should move forward and trying to salvage your relationship.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Have filed trying trying to file for for soul custody children.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: I haven't thought about that. Well, that's why you called in. Hello,
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: You're welcome. Problem solved. So we're here, and we are
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: here every day between eleven and one eleven. Actually we're
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: here every day between eleven and eleven fifteen. We only
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: work in fifteen minute increments, so you've got to call in.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: It works if you work it, and you know, I
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: think that maybe you've got to try a different approach, right,
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: Like that didn't work, So now you have to try
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: a different approach. And if enough time has elapsed, which
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: it does sound like it since it was in February,
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: that's several months for you to just write her a
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: heartfelt email or call her and just go listen, I
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: am really really missing you, and I'm really missing the boys.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: You know I'm missing you. Let's just forget about that conversation.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: You think she wants to reconcile as well? I I
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: think so. I think deep down she really does. I've
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: seen it in sort of some of the actions, but
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: hasn't gotten to the point where we've really been able
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: to move on. But Chelsea, I think that could work
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: in terms of doing it in that way. Yeah, Like
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: she just is somebody that's not going to admit that
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: there's an issue. Right. It sounds like she's stuck, so
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: that what you have to do is pretend that you
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: were wrong to even bring it up and say I'm
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: sorry that I even brought that up. I overstepped I
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: can understand how you'd be so upset with me. But
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: the truth of the matter is I miss you, I
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: miss the boys. And just remember you're saying this to
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: make sure that you have that connective tissue to still
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: explore your relationship with the boys. Don't say explore. That
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: sounds strange, but I mean, you know what I'm saying,
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: like to continue, Yeah, to sustain it and and and
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: make her believe you know, and it is about her too,
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: because you have had decades of decades long friendship that
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: is important to you, as you've already stated. So yeah,
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: I think you just have to be like a bigger
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: person and just pretend you fucked up and put it
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: all on yourself, and don't make it about you and
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: your other friends. This is just about you. You're gonna
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: go clean up your side of the street to reclaim
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: this relationship and they can do whatever they want. That
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: makes sense. That makes sense. And what's her husband? What's
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: his situation? Is he? Like? Are you friends with him? Yeah? Yeah,
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: I am friends with him, And we've all known each
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: other about the scene amount of time and she married
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: him after college and we graduated. Very nice guy, good dad.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: We just don't know what's going on, So I haven't
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: really taken that angle to reach out to him. But
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: don't don't do that, because here's the thing you're already like.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: She has a problem with you guys having spoken behind
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: her back. That's going to be you know, the crux
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: of her issue is that you guys are talking about
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: how bad of a parent she is together as a group.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: That's what she's got in her mind because she's heard
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: it from three of you. So you've got to divorce
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: yourself from talking about her behind her back to anyone anymore.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: You know, that's just going to make it worse. So
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: just you know, redirect now, and just you have a
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: whole new approach, and just make it about your friendship.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: You love her, you miss her, and it's not your
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: job to tell her how to parent anymore, you know,
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: And and for the sake of your relationship with the
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: children and for your relationship with her, And I guarantee
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: you she's going to be able to hear that what
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: you said before a lot more clearly once you, guys
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: have stabilized your own relations and ship, you know, and
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: she's reminded of the goodness that you bring. And you know,
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: you just have to leave your judgment at the door.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: It's it's not they're not your children, right, right? That
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: makes sense. Do you think of all of the what
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: we've all been through and the great times we've had
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: to let something like this derail is yeah? Right? I
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: think even if you, you know, if you've had so
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: much history, find a great picture, find something you know,
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: and just send that to her and say. This popped
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: up in my memories today and it just made me remember, like,
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't believe that we haven't spent
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: this time together. I miss your boys so much. I'm
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: so sorry I overstepped, Like, can we just forget about that?
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Where's everybody in kidnapping? I mean, are you open to
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: a kidnapping? Josh? I thought about it, and I would
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: like to hear more about this potential number. We have
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: a kidnapping hotline that you can call and we can
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: arrange for three children to be kidnapped. It's usually it's yeah,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: I know, I know. I knew Sean was going to
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: be terrible at giving advice, and that's why I invited
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: him here today. But Josh, I think you've got some
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: good advice. But will you please let follow up with
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: us and let us know how she reacted. Absolutely, I
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: would love to You're a good You're a good guy,
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: you care that much and to love that much. I
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: that's really really great. I appreciate saying that. And this
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: has helped a lot because I had thought about some
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: of what you brought up before and and it's nice
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: to get new perspective. And yes, I would love to
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: follow up and let you know how. And I would also,
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: you know, just moving forward in success that this relationship
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: does get back, like get out of the habit of
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: commiserating with your other friends about her parenting style. Just
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: that kind of breeds a whole bunch of other negativity.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: It's a situation you have very little control over. All
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: you can control is your interactions with her and your
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: interactions with her children. And you know, lead by that example. Well, yeah,
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: I'm ready to try it and see what happens. Yeah,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: I would love to know what happens. Yeah, so interesting.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: I'll give you Shawn's personal phone or I'm actually gonna
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: now said at the end of this podcast, so you
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: can feel free to text him at any time or FaceTime.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: I'm actually he just loves he loves to answer FaceTime, Sean,
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: I'd be great helpful, Yeah, for sure, for sure, and
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: then we'll develop a relationship absolutely. Thank you, Josh, thank you, Josh,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: thank you, Thank you so much. Sean and Catherine, thank you. Okay,
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: take care, bye God Sean. At first so suing for
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: soul custody and then a kidnapping as your backup. I'm
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: just trying to come up with ideas well. I mean, listen, listen,
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: we're spcalling. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, we're spit falling with
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: the more ideas, the merrier. The season is upon us merriment.
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: The season of merriment is upon us and giving and taking,
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: yes and receiving, topping and bottoming. Yeah, it's the most
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: wonderful time of the year. He has a good voice.
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: Can you hear him? Yeah, he can really carry a tune.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: That was vibrato. That was a little vibrato, do it. No,
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: I can't sing at all, tenor baritone. I'm a little
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: right in between. Yeah, I love it. Cool kidding, Yeah, yeah,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: we know. Please don't you please continue? Yeah. I just
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: hope forges that like she hears this, and here's how
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: much he cares about her. Yeah, that's the ither thing
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: I know, I know what it's like to have I
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: don't know it's because I'm not a parent, but I
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: can imagine what it's like to have somebody. You know,
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: when you are a parent to children, that's your best
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: number one job in the whole world, right, And and
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: for somebody, anybody, anybody, family, friends, whatever, to come in
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: and kind of how it's received, it is probably tell
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: you how to parent. But they're probably just making suggestions here,
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: they're dictating how you should Maybe parent is a very
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: it's like that's the line. You know, that's because no
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: one job as parents if you don't know what's right
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: invest And a lot of times if people had a
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: better approach about the advice they want to give to
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: you as a parent, the softer, the yeah, I was saying,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: are you open to Yeah, within all of your horrible advice,
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: there's always one colonel and asking someone are you open
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: to hearing this is a great opener. Yeah. Well, our
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: next caller is Alex, and he is calling from the
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: UK long distance. Wow, fancy can afford that? Alex says,
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I'm currently in a copyrighting job that's closer
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: to my dream job than anything else. I've done before,
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: and I'm happy in a relationship with my boyfriend of
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: two years. But for the past couple of months, I've
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: been feeling pretty unsatisfied with life and had no motivation
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: to do anything at all. It's led me to struggling
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: to do work whilst in the office, and how having
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: to do it at home in the evenings to catch up.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: I'm constantly distracting myself from doing anything productive because i
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: can't focus at all. It's so annoying. It kind of
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: feels like I'm writing a to do list every day
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: and then turning it upside down and doing the least
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: important things first. I'm hoping you'll have some advice that
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: can help me focus on what's important in order to
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: be able to enjoy my free time. Alex, Hi, Alex,
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: Alex Hi, Chelsea, how are you? Oh? I'm good. This
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: is Sean. Hi. So nice to meet you. Nice to
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: meet you too. It's such a pleasure. I love your glasses. Oh,
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: thank you very much to make the effort. Sean has
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: never met an English person before, so he's very excited.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: I'm reading the subtitles as you talk, so wait. So
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: the main issue is prioritizing your kind of life, right,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: so you have more free time for yourself and you're
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: not and what you're feeling overworked or not so much overworked.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: I'm just I've always been a procrastinator, but over the
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: last few months it's got a lot a lot worse.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: And it kind of just feels like, like I said,
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: I've got a list of all the stuff I need
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: to do, and I'm kind of scared about doing the
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: most important stuff, so I do the basic things instead.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: And so, what what about that that scares you? What
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: about the things? What goes in your mind when that
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: that makes you scared? I guess it's not knowing what
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: I'm doing, And I guess I'm like scared of failure
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: or something like that. And this is a new feeling. Yeah,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: so it's happened a couple of times before, but it's
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: a lot stronger at the moment. I've done jobs before
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: that I've not really cared about, and I've always wanted
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: to get into writing, and now I'm in it, I
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: feel like I just need to try and put my
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: best foot forward all the time. So yeah, I don't know,
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: I just feel a bit frozen sometimes when I'm trying
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: to do work. Yeah, I used to. I know how
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: you feel, because you do. You feel stuck right a
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: little bit and uninspired and uninspired. Yeah, and yeah, it's
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: it's the hardest thing to It's that the hardest thing.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: But it's it's difficult to come out of it. But
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: I used to when I was younger, and I'm just
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: gonna have diarrhea of the mouth until one of you
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: interrupts me. When I was younger, I used to write
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: goal lists, which is the same thing as to do.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: And I would random, complete stream of conscious randomly write
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: stuff down so you could have to do with anything
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: with money, relationships, connections, a diet, exercise, anything. I would
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: just number one, I got to eat better, to really
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: focus on my sleep because sleep is everything. Three call
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: my mom more often. Four save you know, a hundred
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: thousand dollars one day, whatever it is, right, And I
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: would just write them down because then I put them away.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you do that or not, but
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: let me tell you something. I'm a massive, massive advocate
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: for doing that, because I'm telling you right now, Alex,
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: they fucking come true. I swear to God, I swear
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: to God if you start and everybody's like, wow, I
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: don't want to do that. Why it takes five minutes
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: to just sit with yourself and just write down everything
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: you've ever wanted to focus on and do. It could
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: be a short term go a long term goal, lifetime goals.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: I and then I had on my lifetime goals I
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: had beyond David Letterman, Oh my gosh, have a billboard
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: on SUNSI board host Saturday Night Live, all this stuff,
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: and they all fucking came true because I wrote them
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: down and I would I would recirculate them every six months,
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: and I would open the drawer and go, oh my gosh,
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: and I would cross off the ones that did happen,
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: and whatever didn't happen, I would just carry over the
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: next six months. And what this does it is subconsciously
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: makes you do one thing, one thing towards those goals,
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: whether it's one phone call, one email, one text. So
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: let's say one of your goals is I want to
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: one of your longtime girls don't want to publish a book? Right,
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's what it is, or is
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: its script or I don't know. So that stays on
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: there until you do it, until you do it, always
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: write that down, because you'll write it down going gosh,
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: I should write at least just one page. Maybe I'll
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: just write one page and that's it. Don't put any
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: more pressure in yourself. Just write one or even one paragraph, yeah,
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: and put it away. I think a lot about procrastination
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: is a lot of it is about feels overwhelming. Right.
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: Some of these larger tasks that you're talking about, are
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: they things that are doable within that day? Are they
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: broader dreams like career dreams? The stuff I'm really stuck
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: on at the moment is specific things that could be
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: done in that day. But I do also have sort
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: of wider goals, So I think part of the issue
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: could be as well that the job I'm in right
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: now is an exact thing that I want to do
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: like forever. I've got a lot of steps forward that
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: I want to take. Because as soon as you start
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: accomplishing even the tiniest goals, it builds your confidence to
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: then accomplish the next thing. And I know that step
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: is that first step is a really really hard and
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: nobody can make you do it other than you, but
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: you just it's all about baby steps. And also that
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: first step is something that makes every other step much easier.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: You're looking at that first step is like every step
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: is going to be that big leap, and it's not.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: Because once you take the initiative for the things that
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: matter to you and are important in your life, it
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter if your job isn't the perfect job for
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: you right now. If you have a list of things
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: to do, don't tackle the small, meaningless things first. Take
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: a big thing every morning as a way to change
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: your behavior. You know what I mean, You're going to
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: change your life. You have a huge opportunity right here
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: to change the trajectory of your life. Instead of just
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: sitting in a stand zone being like I don't know,
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: I don't feel inspired, I don't love this, I don't
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: love that. You know, you have the power to change
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: what you're gonna do, and you can do this by
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: just taking more of an initiative and just reorganizing your
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: day and starting out with the bigger tasks. Because the
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: same chip in your head that makes you eat when
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: you're hungry is the same chip you need to activate
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: for whatever it is you want. Because when you're like
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: when you're gone all day and you're kind of fucking
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: starving you You will do you will do anything to
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: get food inside of your stomach. Right and that same
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: thing as whatever is small or big, you have to
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: activate whatever that is in the same way. I think, yes,
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: I agree with you, and I think you you know
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: you're in charge again of your activation and right your
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: I can see it in your face, your uninspired, your board,
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: You're in a state of a we You can change that.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: You have the power to change that. So that's exciting,
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: Like you can set, Okay, tomorrow, this is what I'm
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: gonna do. You can get off this call and write
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: a list what Sean just said, write a list of
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: the things of your broad goals, and you can write
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: a list of your shorter goals or the things that
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: are like the practical things that you actually have to
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: get done for your workload. You're gonna start to feel
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: better about yourself immediately. You're gonna start to feel more inspired.
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: It does work, It does absolutely, Catherine. We've talked about
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: this a lot on the podcast. Yeah. Absolutely. And I
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: think too, as a person who is also prone to procrastination,
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: specifically due to having some a d h D and
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: some other stuff like that. One of the most freeing
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: pieces of advice that I ever got was to again,
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: those lists are so important. Even if there's three things
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: you know you need to get done that day, you
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: know doing those things. But what I would do is
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: I would spend the whole day beating myself up about
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: how I wasn't getting the big thing done and it
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: was hanging over my head and you know, just ruining
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: my day. And the best piece of advice I got
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: was you're not going to do it until the last minute,
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: and you're also going to do your best work at
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: the last minute. And so for some people's brains, like
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: we need that pressure to sort of get us to
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: take the take the movement and actually do it. So,
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: you know what, if you find that you want to
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: be working on your writing or whatever in the morning,
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: so that you can give yourself that pressure, even though
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: it may mean that you need to do some work
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: in the evening, maybe restructuring your day depending on your
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: job is something that you can do so that you
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: still are having downtime, you still are having creative time.
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: And maybe that creative time is first thing in the
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: morning for you, or maybe it's going to branch with
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: your boyfriend or whatever it is. How's your sleep, Alex.
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: It's not ideal, it's it could be worse, for sure.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: The last week or so, I've really made a conscious
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: effort to if I'm not feeling inspired, just putting a
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: top down and thinking I need to go to bed now,
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: because otherwise it will just roll over to tomorrow. But
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: I do have a bad habit of sort of feeling
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: like I need to do a task in that day
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: and then not only let myself go to bed until
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: I've done it, and then obviously if that drags on.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: I think the day I sent that at the submission in,
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: I'd been up until four am, and then I had
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: to get up at eight am. Yeah, thats ruined the
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: next day. And you're way past the point of diminishing
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: returns at that point, like you're not your brain's not there,
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: You're exhausted. I think also for you, if you're saying
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: you have a lack of focus, that the thing that
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: helps me the most focused, focus the most is meditation.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: So that has helped me focus and stay like in
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: a conversation, paying attention for long extended periods of time.
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: So I think it can only enhance you to like
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: You're just going to create a couple of new habits
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: immediately and start download Headspace, download that meditation app, Calm, Headspace,
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: find a voice that doesn't annoy you, basically over a
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: British and their Yeah, I've ever hear they're British Headspaces
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: British So you might like that guy, or you might
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: like the American woman from Calm, but one of those
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: and just commit to five minutes in the morning, because
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: that just is saying to you, like, Hey, I'm this
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: is my effort to get myself on track every single morning,
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: to get myself focused, to give myself this amount of time.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: Who cares if you're doing it right or not. It's
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: not about that. It's about setting yourself up for success
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: for that day. And there's nothing that has helped my
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: focus more than meditation. So you are going to get
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: returns on that. You just have to be consistent with
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: some new patterns of behavior. And I think I guarantee
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: you you'll turn around soon. I agree. And that's what
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: this phone call I think is all about. Is this
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: so cheese is the first day of the rest of
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: your life, right, But but it's the first day of
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: the rest of your new behavior. Because when I said
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: how are you sleeping and you said four in the morning,
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: that's that's not good sleeping. So yes, what Chelsea said.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: But I promise Alex, listen to me loud and clear.
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: I promise you. I promise you. If you start writing
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: this stuff down, it will all come true. And one
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: of them should be sleep better. I need I need
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: better sleep hygiene. Right, sleep hygiene right, which means you
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: go to bed at the same time every night. I
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: know it's hard. You know it's hard, well for you.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Sleep hygiene, I think means a couple of things. Yeah. Yeah,
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: she's saying I need to take a shower, but right
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: it is late. Yeah, um, yeah, I mean that's that's
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: great advice. I'll take both bits of advice and board.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: I thought about meditation for a long time and I've
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: tried headspace. You've been procrastinating about meditation as well. Yeah absolutely,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: that was like number twenty on my list you've been
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: meditating and whether you should meditate? Yeah absolutely, But yeah no,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: I will put that right to the top of the list,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: and I'll make your list as all. And don't use
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: your job as an excuse like to not get things done,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: like you just give yourself a period of time where
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: you're going to be creative and sometimes it will happen
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: and sometimes it won't. But if you get into these
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: new habits, everything's going to flow more easily for you.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: Like things are going to be easier. It's not going
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: to be such a like you're thinking. You know, it
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: feels like a huntain top at this moment, but as
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: soon as you start taking these little steps, you're it's
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: not going to be a mountaintop. It's just going to
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: be like a treadmill and you're gonna like it. Cool.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: Sounds good, all right, Alex, thanks for calling in. Thanks Alex,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: thank you so much. Take care of good luck in England.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: Alex is a huge fan of mine. I thought that
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: he seemed to really be taken by you. I don't
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. I don't know why you
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: would react that way. That's so typical of you to
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: make this all about you. That's so typical of you
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: to make this all about you when we have somebody
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: in need across it's called fucking Chelsea. Whatever the fun
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: this podcast, it's Chelsea Late Later, Dear Chelsea. It's called
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: Dear chel Oh my god, the aids, Oh my god,
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: did you owned her? I scratched it was just the
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: top of his penis hit me in the elbow, and
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: now I'm bleeding. You're not the first who put a
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: razor blade on the top of your penis. I just scratched. No,
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: I had. I had like a bite and I scratched
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: it too hard. Oh god, lost so much blood. I
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: can barely see over. This will roll over right and
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: nicely to a hypochondriactor for you. It will let me
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: just touch that is I had. I had once had
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: this showrunner that walked into the office and she had
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: gotten you know, blood, her blood work done that morning,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: and she walked in into the writer's room and just
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: was like this walked by like with that little cotton ball,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: like she had been, you know, to Vietnam. We were
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: all just saying, Okay, we get it. You went to
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: the fucking doctor. You're fucking idiot about the faint. Yeah,
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: oh gosh, I'm always right. Sarah. Silverman just told me
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: that you have to get your shingles inoculation when you
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: get see, I had no idea you don't want to
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: get I think I've had home. You don't get a double.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: You get a shingle. Oh okay, ironically you need a
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: double of the shingle. Oh you do? Yeah, you get
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: one now and then you get one like and two
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: to six months double shot. Yeah you do. You don't
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: want to get shined. I don't remember being invited to
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: a fifties birthday party for you because with the pandemic.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: Oh are you going to have one? I think you
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: should have one. It's kind of past now. No, I
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: don't think that Scotty this massive trip for his fiftieth birthday.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: We couldn't go come to a safari. We're going on
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: safari in August. Here's the last place I want to
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: ever go in my Africa. So no safari and get
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: like some disease. Oh no, you get innoculated. You get
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: all your shots before you go so you don't have
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: to worry about it, and then you just take toxic
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: cycling every day, which I always have. I'd rather turn
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: on National Geographic. Okay, anyway, we are going to take
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: a quick break so you can hear and add and
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. Do we have anything else today, Katherine?
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: Or are we wrapping things? We do? Um? We have
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: one more, one more little email if you're up for it. Yes, sure,
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: I'm exhausted giving all this advice. You're giving good advice,
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: so i'd like how you jumping in and that's good.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: It's very proactive. And this one actually comes with a
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: cute picture. So Chelsea, Ana, you've got one in there.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: This is from Jenna. Dear Chelsea, I feel as if
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: I'm at a crossroads with my career. I'm currently director
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: at a nonprofit animal rescue in Jackson, Wyoming. I'm twenty
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: nine and have worked in this field for almost five
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: years now. I always thought I would only consider working
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: in the nonprofit sector, especially in the philanthropic community I
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: live in. But I've come to the realization that it
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: will be hard to set myself up financially and pursue
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: the passion behind it. I love my job, but I
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: fear I've reached the ceiling in this job and I
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: don't want to pigeonhole myself in the nonprofit world. I've
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: been looking at other options so I can be comfortable.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: Do I continue working with my heart on my sleeve
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: and trust that I'll be okay? Or do I jump
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: ship and start over in a different field that will
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: have more financial security. XO XO to you your team
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: and Burton Bernice, Jenna and her dog's Gunther and Pepper
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: also say Hi, I mean we both love doggies. Yeah,
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: I know, But it seems like Jenna has already kind
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: of she's seems like she's already pivoting, do you know
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Like she's already in her mind making
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: this decision and wants confirmation to do it. And I
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: would say, twenty nine years old, that is a great
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: time to make a new decision and change career. Just
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: because she's asking what means she's already kind yeah for sure,
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: you know, like the writings on the wall, So I
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: think she just you want your thinking about your future.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: That's smart. You're twenty nine years old. You have all
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: the time in the world to change careers and try
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: a couple different things, even if one doesn't work out.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: So I would definitely say, yeah, take a leap of face.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: And is there like a way to just kind of
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: like go pursue what you want to do and make
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: some money since you need to pay bills and stuff,
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: which I agree with your advice, but can you just
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: go on like a Saturday, like the first Saturday of
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: every month, and go volunteer or something just to fulfill
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: that need. There's a balance, right, We always try to
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: create fine balance in our life. So just because you
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: want something else, that's mean you have to be done
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: with that. And I love these two pictures of the
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: dogs that you sent of Gunther and Pepper. Are they
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: are adorable? Yeah? I want to get another dog. I mean,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: how are they? Well, they think that my housekeeper is
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: their birth mother and that I'm some slut that comes
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: through the house every three weeks. So I'm sucking over them.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: But they have been cuter, but they're older. And I
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: think Joe and I are going to get a rescue
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: dog together. That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you get on
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: their chow. I love chow mixes, so yeah, I really
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: love chow. I'd like to get a full blown chow,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: but those are hard to get and you can't, you know,
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: buy a dog when you're a celebrity. Capito will burn
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: your house down, and a flow a full blown chow
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: sounds like a sex act. Well it will be once
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: I get a hold of it. And on that note,
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: I want to thank my friend Shawn Hayes for being
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: with me on my podcast today. Always a fucking delightful
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: pleasure to see you always before we go, Sean, I
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: think you had a piece of advice that you wanted
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: to ask Chelsea. Oh yeah, oh the one you tried
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: to blow the earlier this I have a I wrote
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: down like six, Okay, why don't you pick one? Pick one? So, like,
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: as I was saying at the beginning, you travel so
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: much on tour and you're always, always, always, always going.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: And whenever I travel, I always eat like ship because
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: I'm at home where my I know where to get
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: the good food. I know how to make myself right
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: with you, know, So you just you're in your zone, right.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: But it's second I get on a plane and go somewhere,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, funk it. I'll just have a burger
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: or whatever. So how do you maintain healthy eating when
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: you're traveling. It's so hard. I'm so with you. It
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: is so hard. Yeah, it's really hard, and I'm not
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: great at it. I do lean on a nutritionist because
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: nutritionists are used to dealing with people when they're on
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: the road. So like I have all these prepackaged like
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: epics bars, which are really lean, and I have my housekeeper.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: She packs me all these like little snack packs, so
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: that I usually try to have only one off meal
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: because it does like lead to a terrible like once
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: you go off, then you go off again, and then
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: you go off again, and then you have sour cream
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: and onion potato chips, and then you're like, I need
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: a Snickers bar, and then I need a diet coke
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: and it's a fucking vicious cycle. So it's really good
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: to get into the habit of prepackaged food that is
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: like healthy, like you can get grass fag or it's
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: going to last you're on tour. No, it is because
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: you come home. I come home every week and then
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: you know, I recon so I always have it on me.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: I have a little snack pack, has an Epics bar,
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: which is like these grass fed, really lean meat protein bar,
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: and then those my protein bars, the chocolate bars that
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: I like, and then I have like dried fruit and
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: all this stuff that's boring. But I also have these
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: Kiani which is great, like collagen protein packs, so that
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: if I'm really hungry and there's not healthy food and
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: I can't get egg whites or chicken caesar salad or
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: something that's or salmon. I'll have like these little you
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: know what are they called. It's like those little packets
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: that you kind of suck. No, it's not heroin, it's
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: like little uh you just suck a gel pack. Yeah,
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: like all pack. Yeah. Protein. Yeah, it's filled with like
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: a little bit things like five grams of collagen protein
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: to tie me over until I can get something else
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: healthy because you are going through cities where it is
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: it's almost impossible to get decent food. I just found
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: out the nick the title of your next show, Hot
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: Parenting Tips Healthy Chelsea, Healthy Chelsea. Well that just sounds
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: really fucking boring. Um, but yeah, listen, I eat like
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: shipped too. But you know, the one thing I do
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: every single day no matter what is work out. So
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: that keeps up your that keeps your energy high. But
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: you can find a gym. You're never going to stay
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: in a hotel that doesn't have a gym. Every every
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: hotel has a gym. Yeah you know so, but I
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: know it's it's me some weights, like some free weights, yeah,
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: and some bands. You can pack all that ship. Yeah,
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: she won't have a problem with that. I don't see
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: why she would problem solved again. Okay, thanks for thanks
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: for tuning in today, you guys. We'll catch up with
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: you next week. Bye bye, Sean. With regard to my
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: stand up, you guys, I have added or thirty cities,
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure, but cities. We've added Des Moines. We've
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: added your request people, people who requested Louisville, Kentucky. Guess
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: fucking what I'm coming. We've added Montclair, New Jersey. We've
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: added a whole slew of cities. So if you have
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: not gotten your tickets yet, do it Chelsea handler dot com.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: We just announced thirty more cities, twenty seven or thirty
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: Niagara Falls. I'm talking to you too, so stuck on that.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: I'll see everybody on tour loving it. Vaccinated in horny