Latest / Pod Therapy / #397: Opposite Gender Friends, Evicted Therapist, Doctor Anxiety

Transcript

#397: Opposite Gender Friends, Evicted Therapist, Doctor Anxiety · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The only thing that frustrates me. Can you please tell
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: us in advance when you're gonna do shit like this?
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because it comes back on you.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: No, No, we want to go watch.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: I just hear the story and I just.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Like, can't go.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I want more. I want to actually experience. Thank god
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: they didn't tape it. I asked them of coming up
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: next to the tape of Gym's talking. Oh good, I
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: can't well. I stared with my wife Fick.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: From Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. This is pod therapy, real people,
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: real problems, and real therapists. You can smit your questions
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: anonymously at pod therapy net or email us at pot
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: therapy guys at gmail dot com.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Broadcasting from the Churn. That's Jim, that's putting me on, Nick,
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: It's time for some pod therapy. Welcome everybody as we
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: mow through the very fucking hot month of August. At
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, Dude. July was so gentle in so Desert.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I had a buddy of mine who had moved away
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: a couple of years ago, was back in town and
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: so we had I took Friday off. We had three
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: days of golfing. This weekend in like one hundred and
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: fifteen three heat. My god, Sunday, yesterday afternoon, I came
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: home and I just I laid down on the living
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: room floor and I just fell asleep. And I stayed
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: there for four hours on the living room floor, and
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I did not move, and I still up until about
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: two hours ago.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: I wasn't feeling right.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I had heat exhaustion. I don't think
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: it was heat stroke, but it was definitely.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: He played the full course at that at that heat.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dude, that's we played eighteen holes. That is
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: so dangerous and goes like, did you play the full course?
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: You know? Isn't it true that you've never played a
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: round of golf? No, right, at which I'm pretty good at, which,
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: as the name suggests, is smaller, Yes, and exhausted. I
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: do not have the stamping huh. Oh yeah, I mean
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: you got to talk about elite athletes. Yeah, yeah, you
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: know that there's a mini golf tournament on ESPN eight.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: You know there is, and they are at least Okay,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I don't see you went in that tournament that you're better.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: You're not. Yeah, shoot it through a windmill tangement. Have
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: you been to the Swingers place, Not not that kind,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: the Swingers golf course at Mandola, No, I have that.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: I went there is a good time. That was really cute.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: It's fine. I've been there. Yeah, it was really fine.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: They designed a really fun course. It moves to really fast,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: kind of like half bar half like indoor funds. They
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: just they just made an announcement though they're letting kids
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: in now. I guess they do. Yeah, well, at least
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: they were over the summer time ago. They have a curfew.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: They'll only let them in until like seven pm. That's
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: too late, you think, so seven like four?
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: No, this was I don't know who did this one different? Yeah,
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: probably no, Tiger Woods did the other one.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Uh, that one. I believe it was called Mario town Square.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: That one, yes, that's his. Oh that's his? Yeah, okay,
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: which I've also played at and one and won a
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: tournament there. I am very talented. Speaking of talent, we've
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: got some great questions. And if I believe that, I
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: wouldn't no picture.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: I don't believe usually.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Anymore.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: But you don't have to announce it, OKAYND trophy proving
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: he played around a popstr one and he won does
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: not count as his round of golf.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Course, it doesn't damn it for trying, because I feel
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: it should. I don't know that golf is defined. Yeah,
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: it actually is.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, literally defined. I felt like it was more
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: of a spiritual rule book.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's well defined.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: Okay, it's defined to the point that people watching it
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: on TV call the the Federation to report rule breaking
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: and they are encouraged. Karens oh, yeah, golf encourages Karen's
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: encourage nitches get panties. Patreon dot com slash therapy. You'd
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: like to know more if you'd like.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: To find out which one of your hosts got a
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: black eye? Uh and gave it to themselves. That's a
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: good Which one of your hosts got boot off stage
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: at a conference? And you'll never guess which one of
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: us at all. Was very exciting times patroon dot com
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: therapy support the show busy, It was very busy. We
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: got We've got some great questions. Yeah, this was all
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: on a Wednesday. Hey, friends, and the first topic opposite
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: gender friends, Hey, friends and family. I just wanted to
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: hear your opinions and thoughts on something I've noticed about
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: myself over the years. I'm a twenty eight year old male,
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: and I find that I have an easier time talking
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: to and making friends with people who are female or
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: female presenting. I have guy friends, but even most of
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: them were raised by older sisters and or I've realized
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: I just don't relate to most guys. I don't like sports.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I work out, but not for the same reason a
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: lot of my guy friends do. I'm not trying to
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: look baf for shredded or whatever. I just like not
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: struggling when lifting things or being able to help others
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: when they can't lift something heavy. That's it functional fitness.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: I work on cars, but only when I have to.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I don't get a ton of joy out of it
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: unless I'm helping friends who know absolutely nothing about cars,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: which is kind of fun, to be honest. I also
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: work a trades job, and I'm surrounded by men who
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: are nothing like me. Meanwhile, the women on the first
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: floor of the building way easier to talk to. We
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: have more complex conversations. I enjoy the more sensitive topics
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: they bring up, and they tend to share more about themselves. Overall,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I present and identify as a cisgender male and I
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: love who I am and the friends I've collected along
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: the way, but it's just odd how I consistently don't
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: connect with the average guy. Meanwhile, I have friends at
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: male friends who do connect with that crowd, your typical
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: gym bros and sports fanatics, and it just doesn't click
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: for me. That said, I've never had trouble navigating conversations
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: with coworkers or managing those relationships. I've worked at my
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: current job while going to school for the past two years,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: and I've been fine socially. But my friends have joked
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: that I was written by a woman, and honestly I
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: find that kind of flattering. Still, it's odd. I currently
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: have a girlfriend and love her, but even when I
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: was single and trying to talk to women, I somehow
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: only hit on women who turned out to be gay.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: The running joke was you like women so much, you
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: only attract women who also like women, which honestly comedy goal.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: And no, I don't dress or present in a feminine way,
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: at least I don't think so. So it's just interesting
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: that I feel way more comfortable talking to women over
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: most men. Also worth noting the guys I do get
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: along with usually grew up, as I said, with older
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: sisters that they respect, and they were raised primarily by
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: women and didn't have strong father figures around. So is
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: there anything y'all have to say about this? Am I
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: doomed to never have my broke back Mountain moment with
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: a super jacked cowboy? Am I forever destined vibe? I
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: don't even know what that has to do with the
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: rest of the emails. I think we just want that
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: to happen. I think that could just happen.
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah's conscious, that's not.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: A destiny writer. You make that ship happen. You go
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: find your Jake Jillenhall, You.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: Go to a mountain, get yourself a Maile Hooker, and yeah,
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: broke back, that's what you did do, y'all?
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: Thing.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Am I ever hit a Halloween store on the way
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: out so you can get your cowboy gear?
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, keep the receipt. Am I forever destined? It is
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: going to be so Halloween take They don't take any
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: COSTCO would take it back. Am I forever destined to be?
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: To vibe with a demographic that I ironically seem to
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: make nervous. Thanks Anonymous, we should call it an a misodrogynists. Yeah,
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: I didn't hear a problem. It's an interesting question.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like life is just good and you've
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: got friends, and you've got people that you're cool with,
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: and you've got people that you don't jive as much with,
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: but you can communicate effectively with and interact with.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: And also it sounds like you got life pretty much
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: locked down, and just like two, you also have something
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: that makes you unique, you know. I mean, you work
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: in an industry predominantly with men, a trade industry, and
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: you have something that kind of sets you apart from them.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: You know, you enjoy going to the gym, but again
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: you kind of have something that kind of sets you
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: apart in that sense too.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Like, I don't know, I agree.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I think this is a you got a great thing
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: going for you, except for the fact that, like if
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: you would like to have more male friends, and sometimes
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: you struggle making more male friends, I think maybe that's
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: that might be a problem.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: But I don't make friends with girls that have brothers
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: or boyfriends.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: That works out well. I feel like what's coming up
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: here is societal norms, and sometimes that can be tough,
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: especially twenty eight years old. You're still like young, growing
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: into those mid adult years where you start feeling more
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: confident in who you are and what you represent and
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: how you spend your time and who you spend your
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: time with. Feel like throughout your thirties you're you're really
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: solidifying a lot of that. But I feel like in
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: your twenties there's a lot of like how do I
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: fit in in this group? And that goes back to
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: like early human eras for survival, like, hey, I need
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: to fit in with these other, like this other group
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: of people so that I can survive. And so I
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: think our little lizard brains kind of do worry anxieties
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: might come up thinking am I on the outsmine danger?
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Am I in a risk of harm by not being
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: accepted by a group of people? But Jacob's right, you know,
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: we don't live in those that type of you know,
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: human dynamics.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: I love that we don't. And and as something like
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: in the Patreoon, we were talking about some of the
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: ways that therapy has a long way to grow, you know,
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: when it comes to helping men, and how even therapists,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: who I think are a generally more enlightened group of
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: humans and work really hard to think carefully with empathy
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: can still make you know, big mistakes about the way
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: we think about people writ large. And what I like
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: about this question, and especially Jacob's initial hot take on that,
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: is just how I'm proud of society that we're starting
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: to redefine or undefine the concept of masculinity. Like remember
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Tool Time or what was that show called Home Improvement
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Improvement with Tim Allen? Remember that guy Al And he
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: had like the big beer flannel and he was like
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: the handiest dude. He could actually do all the things
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: that Tim couldn't do. But part of the bit about
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: his character was that he like baked and shit, he
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: got along with like Tim's wife really well. He was
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: like super sensitive, yeah, super sweet guy, and like Tim
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: would always ge him a hard time for it, and
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: like you know, that was the ongoing joke because Tim
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: teases him because Tim was like macho and stuff. But
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: then Al could actually build and fix fucking everything and
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: Tim didn't know what he's doing. And just like I
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: appreciate that as a society we've gotten further and further
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: away from like stereotyping and like making it have to
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: be a certain way. I love that this letter represents
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: a human who is absolutely as masculine as any other
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: man and just happens to find that he connects well
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: with women, and probably not all women. There's probably women that,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: you know, just our personality type, that we might associate
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: more with traditional or stereotypical masculinity, and that's not his
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: jam either.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: So he probably doesn't relate super well with the types
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: of women that Jim would yell at from stage.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, women.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: Why would he do that? Why would he ever do that?
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: To teach him nothing at that?
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: Go find out? No, I feel like relationships.
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: To join the page.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: That's really good, it's very interesting.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: I usually don't say that. Today's the day we raised
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: the paywall.
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry, Oh no, you're fine.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: I was actually thinking about you know, Peter and I
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: w and we tend to make other couple friends. Most
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: often of those friend groups, Peter will kind of connect
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: more with the woman and I will connect more with
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: the guy. But I think it's because if we're going
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: into what I tend to see like online, let's say,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: or on social media, is like, oh my gosh, women
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: are like running the household and like keeping everything in
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: line and paying the bills and doing all this stuff
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: like that's all the ship Peter does. He's like, he's
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: like the less organized, the organized like structure. I'm just
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: here for the ride. I'm like, hey, this is great.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: I'm glad you're doing like the worthless one that they
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: always say, like, oh I have this like third child.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: I'm like, there's a reason we don't have kids because
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: I would be their child today.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: But no, deep down it's like something like inside me
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: stirs when I see those stereotypes projected online. That's why
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I thought it was an interesting discussion to have in
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: the Patreon if anyone wants to go listen. But it's
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: because it is complicated. And Peter loves watching sports, but
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: like and like doesn't love being pushed in the gym
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: or like, you know, let's go to like he goes
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: to the gym just to be healthy, mentally healthy, whatever,
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: Like none of it is for these like normal macho
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: like reasons.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: And you know, you know, here's something.
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: When I was younger, I probably thought more about masculinity
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: than I think about it now.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and now I just think about what do I
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: want to do?
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: Right, and now I'm like like I'm gonna be me,
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna and I'm gonna do this thing that I
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: wanted is like, this is the person I'm talking to.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: This is the person I'm talking to. And I guess
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: I don't think about it as much, right, I.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: Don't know because you're not twenty eight anymore.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's because I'm not twenty eight. I don't know.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I think it's it's one of those things that I mean,
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: society is allowed to think about big macro things. I
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: think that's fine, But yeah, I think it's also something
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: that's becoming more and more of a dated concept. Like
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: I just think that a lot of us are outgrowing
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: that word as if it can apply to half of
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: a species. Like, I just don't think it does.
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: I mean, I think being confident in yourself and just
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: moving through life with that air of confidence in oneself,
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: I think that's going to make you happier and more
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: attractive to other people than being masculine and like in
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: the football and whatnot.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Sure, and you're going to attract people that like you
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: for you, right yea, as opposed to trying to change
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: who you are in order to attract somebody. Then you're
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: just going to attract people that you're not going to
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: get along with, right, Yeah, Yeah, I think just being
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: the most genuine you is the best thing you can do.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, there are plenty of people that I that
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: I work with see all the time, you know, and everything,
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: and like, you know, we're perfectly friendly at work.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: We can communicate perfectly.
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: Well, We're never going to hang out, right, we just
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: don't have things common that we're going to enjoy each
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: other's company, you know, for long enough to really make
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: any plans. Yeah, if we're sitting near each other at
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: a bar, we can talk for five minutes and we'll
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: be okay.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that this this concept what the
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: writer's talking about. I definitely have seen this play in
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: each direction. Right, Like I remember growing up with some boys,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: you know, and there was a boy in fourth grade
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: named Neil, and I remember like just he was really
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: friendly with all the girls, like and I remember like,
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: but we were young and stupid at the time, and
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: so it was like, oh, why does Neil sit at
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: the girl's table at lunch, you know, why does he
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: hang out with us? Like what's going on with Neil?
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: And like we didn't like harass him but I remember
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: there was something like, oh, he stands out. But it
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: was funny because I remember it started with, Yeah, what's
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: up with Neil? Why does he talk to the girls?
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: Because in fourth grader kind of like girls are dumb,
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: But by the end of fourth grade, you're like girls
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: are kind of pretty. And then we're like, hey, Neil,
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: like can you can you like work me into this
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: table man? Like I mean, like what's going on like
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: your friends with kind of all of them like yeah,
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: like we all kind of thought he was like a
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: super pimp and he's like no, like are you like dating?
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Somebody's like what, No, we're just talking about like lunch.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: You guys are playing checkers. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It was
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: winning it life. We just hadn't figured it out. Your
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: fingers smell beer, Christ But no, like on the the shoe.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: On the other foot, I think that there's there's like
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I've seen this in the opposite as well. I've seen
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: I've seen women who get along really really well with men,
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: and there's like they just like, when I consider you
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: somebody who just I you're very disarming anyway, I think
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: you're just a very talented therapist. But like I think
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: One of the reasons you've worked out really well on
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: POD's therapy is because you know, we don't have to
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: censor ourselves. We don't have to be you know, different.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: You tolerate us really well and you play along and
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: like you're in on the joke. You don't offend EAZ
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: and like, yeah, great, and like, I don't think that's
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: every human could just like kind of do the code
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: switching and be very comfortable with not their own gender
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: right away. And that could go either way, men or women.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: You know, if it was swapped and I was on
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: a show with three ladies, you know, I don't know
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: that I could code swing.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Which just.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: But dump bitches in him.
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: About hell, I don't understand why I can't make any friends.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Look, I got something off the goddamn list. Okay, I
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: did a thing. I got no praise for it, not
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: wucks cares, But you harass me all the time for
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: not doing this. Is if this is.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Part of the forty by forty, you have to do
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: all of these things while pissing off everyone.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, ye, dolphins, the dolphin Kingdom. I'm going to insult
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: all of the dolphins and.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'll find a way, well right, The
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: King news is, I think we're all in unison saying
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: that this quality is not something to be concerned about,
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: something be praised. You are not the only man who
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: is this way. You are not the only person who
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: is this way. And I think we're all kind of
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: in agreement to abandon those, you know, concepts of masculinity
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: wherever they arrive. There are there are stereotypes, there are pluralities,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: There are like archetypes and lanes, and that's like, that's fine.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: You might see the majority of sports watchers tend to
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: be men. Great. I don't know that that therefore means
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: sports are inherently masculine. I know plenty of women that
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: go crazy for sports, and it's offensive to them if
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I say, no, sports are a masculine thing. That's not fair.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: I have a girlfriend who just was like, do you
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: all want to put together a fantasy football lego? Was like, hell, no, one,
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: speaking of.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: Which I'm going to announce the draft on so that
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: that will be coming out shortly. But anyway, writer, I
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: think we're all on your side on this. There is
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: nothing here to fix. But if you do want your
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: broke back Mountain moment.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: It can happen for you.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's achievable. I think we can match make. We've
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: had people. We will get you a man. We have
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: people standing by in the discord intense. So many cowboys,
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: so many cowboys. We are gonna take a quick break
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: and when we come back, we're talking about a therapist
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: who thinks they are the problem. You're listening to pod Therapy.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: Today's episode is brought to you by Judy Schneider, Leon
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: Carolyn Albert, Sammy Scoops, Sarah Smith, Mike Helm, Darren Cunningham,
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: Cody the Dolorian Guy, Brady Malaychick, and Max the Ginger Scoop.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Would you like sponsor the show?
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Become a therapy Patreon dot com slash they all right
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: trivia today. This one took a little bit of time.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I wish I had more time to do more of
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: these because I think this would be fun. We're doing triplets.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Oh hot, Okay.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: So you're gonna have to buzz in for these. And
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: here's how this is like the categories game that we
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: played before. Right, list stuff off and you have to
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: get a single one of these. Okay, but here's what
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: we're gonna do. I'm going to read off the first two.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: If you can buzz in and name the third thing,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: I'll give you five points. But you also have to
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: be able to get the category. You can't get the
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: third thing and not tell the it's.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Way too hot. I think you haven't. I think an
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: example would be lovely.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: I just think of something Larry, curly.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: But mo and then the category is the three stooges.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Five points.
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: Okay, the category so if nobody knew it after Larry
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: and Larry and then I throw out the third one,
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: then you'd say curly, and then we.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Say the three stooges got it for one point? All right, okay,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: all right, here we go.
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: Metamorphic igneous.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: But let them go.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I have to name the third thing, though, ship Every
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: time we do this edamorphic igneous animals, sagittarius volcanic volcanic.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: No, that would have been one of my granted no,
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: I would like to hear the third one.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: You shepherd and whitney right into traffic. You're pressuring you
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: into it. You may go, ladies. First, he lived in
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: the bag and just kicked her over the volcanic sedimentary
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: I believe types of rock.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: God Jacob's playing the long game.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Damn sit overhead and enjoy my point. Okay, here we go.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Mallius incus stay peas, what stay peas? Types of peas?
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Read them again, please.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Mallius or malice malius m A L L e U
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: s incas stay peas spell.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Incas I N c U s in. I don't think
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: any of us are getting Do we lose points if
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: we guess blind?
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: No?
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's not like the s A T H stay
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: ps periods of time. No, that was a good guess.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna go with body parts.
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: You're in the.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: A little more specific, all right, I don't know, can
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: I Okay, let's go with I'm gonna go with bones.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: I think specific parts of the ear, parts of the ear, drum,
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: parts of the inner ear.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Give you, I'll give you. I'll give you a point account.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: What was it, the three bones of the human ear?
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I'll take that point, he said, body it's
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: like that, I mean exactly what it was. Yeah. I
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: was like, fuck, I just know that's year. I mean,
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: if we were bowling, we definitely had the bumpers in. Yeah. Yeah,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: it kind of worked our way, not above it we're
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: not above it. Alright, we go tie game nineteen fifty five.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Fuck you, I'm just mad already years years Yeah, name
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: the other two at thirty seven, there's going to.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Be pin numbers nineteen fifty five, twenty fifteen, eighteen eighty five.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Nineteen fifty five, buzz years from Back to the Future.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Yes, year's Marty McFly travel to in Back to the
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Future movie.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Okay, I was trying what you're driving like worlds me too.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: I was like, see, the trick is not anything.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've seen movies, do Millionaire.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: I put them, I put them in order.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Nineteen fifty five, okay, all right, last one for this round,
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Michael Neil.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: But fuck, can I go next? You said Michael and Neil. Yeah,
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Buzz the Apollo one astronauts, No one. I'm sorry, No,
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, buzz sh Hey, don't worry, it'll come around
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: you wait. I'm gonna go with Apollo eleven.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: Okay, he got it.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: We handed him sucking ear the last one. I'd say
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: the wrong number. You were ten off. It matters, Jim
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: Off to a commanding lead. I was thinking, just Apollo astronauts.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Lance Armstrong, the correctly they are triplets because it
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: is only three.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you wouldn't be able to say astronauts because
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: there are more astronauts.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Oh I was wondering, right, Yeah, Okay, well this is
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: off to a fun start. Okay, next question. I'm a therapist,
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Am I the problem? Yep? Moving on great questions. Yeah,
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: I think we found a new format for the show.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I just want to do this. Just we'll do thirty
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: minutes of Patreon and we'll just some trivia. Get the
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: fuck out of here, go get a beer. Hey, pod therapists.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: I am a marriage and family therapist based in Tennessee
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: and love listening to you guys. Shout out to Whitney
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: for female representation. Woop whoop. I listened to your show
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: on my way to the office in the mornings to
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: get my therapy brain activated, and I've found that it
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: really helps me think more creatively and feel more confident
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: in the room with my clients. So thank you for
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: this therapy space where we can think critically and have
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: a few good laughs along the way. I'm writing to
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: you regarding a professional dilemma I found myself in recently.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: I wish it were something juicy, like how to tell
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: my boss I slept with her husband, or tell a
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: coworker that I'm her biological mom. Let's just go with those.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: I like both of those, just to be clear, in
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: either of those scenarios is real, but it's rather mild.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Let's just do that anyway. Practice this is next level therapy.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: Just fucking lie and create problems. It's how U stay employed.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: I'm I just really appreciate your perspectives as professionals in
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: the mental health field. Thank you. I work at a
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: private practice based in a smallish town. This practice is
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: well respected and is run by a reputable LMFT who's
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: been practicing for over a decade in our area. Last year,
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: she moved several hours away to a different state and
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: only comes back to our office about once a month
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: to check in. When she left, we had eight practicing
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: clinicians in two locations about twenty minutes from each other,
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: serving two different cities slash counties. She just recently announced
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: that she is planning to merge the two locations and
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: all clinicians will be practicing out of the office pod.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I currently practice in. Long story short, we have five
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: offices in this pod with five practicing clinicians. Two are
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: planning to go remote in the fall, which will open
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: up two offices. If you're doing the math, that means
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: we have three clinicians coming over with only two offices open.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: When I asked my boss about what her plan was
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: regarding this scenario, she expressed that I will likely have
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: to switch offices and share an office with one of
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: the other clinicians coming over. I currently have the best office,
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: large room, natural lighting, couch, two accent chairs, a plate
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: therapy corner, and a table desk. My office is very
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: soothing and receives many compliments from new clients. Besides the
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: main furniture, I shopped for and decorated the entire space
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: on my boss's dime. I've been with my boss for
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: over two years, more than most clinicians here, and even
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: helped her move from our previous office into this new
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: space a year and a half ago. I immediately became
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: anxious when my boss announced this change might be occurring,
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: not because we'll have other clinicians in our space, but
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: because of the possibility of having to switch offices. I
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: feel like it would be embarrassing to relocate within my
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: own pod and fear it would feel like a demotion.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: After my boss announced this, I immediately messaged her privately
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: and expressed my preference to remain in my office, that
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: it would be meaningful to my clients and myself. She
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: did not offer any reassuring response and essentially said she'll
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: try to make everyone happy with this transition. I should
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: also mention that the other two clinicians remaining in this
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: pod do not have to move or switch offices just me.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: I'll also mention that we all bill around the same
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: number of client hours weekly. All of this to say
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: my feelings are hurt. I don't feel hurt or appreciated
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: by my boss. I feel left in the dark about
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: professional decisions that directly impact my clients and myself. And
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: because it feels like a private family practice matter. That's
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: why I'm coming to you, guys a very public platform.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Am I overreacting? Does this make me less of a
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: team player for having a strong opinion about how offices
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: get divvied up, especially because I wanted to come out
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: in my favor. Should I pursue another conversation with my
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: boss about the significance of this office space, even though
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: she shot down my last attempt. Should I just quit
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: and become a real estate agent? Any feedback is welcome
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: and appreciated. Time to log off and regulate my own
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: nervous system again, kindly, Queen of the call exterior inner
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: mind a log in shambles.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: I feel like next supports the quit become a real
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: estate Yeah.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, where you are real estate markets are, she said,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: smallish towns. Yeah, you're probably doing pretty good as a
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: therapist in a small town. But I don't know here
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: my take on this, I've had different I think your
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: office space is really important, and I think.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Your office space is important.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: And I even noticed a difference between when I was
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: an administrator versus when I was a clinician, because like,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I definitely had better offices when I was an administrator. Yeah,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: you know, because I had more of a pick, I
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: could kind of choose where I wanted to be, and
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: also was usually in humble brag. Yeah, it was usually
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: in like an administrative space, you know, so it was
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: separate away from the clinical area.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: The riff, the riff raft. Yeah.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's stunk down there, Yeah, smell poverty. But I
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: had better offices, that is an administrator, but my office
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: meant less to me. Yeah, as it did when I
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: was a clinician. When as a clinician, it was like,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: this is my space, this is I control this environment,
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: and I bring other people in here, and like, I
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: don't know, it just felt different to me. So I
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: don't think you're wrong for feeling the way you feel.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: I'm confused that why you have to move offices to
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: like if people are coming in, I could get maybe
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: having to share it. All right, you have a big,
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: nice office, we have we have limited space. People are
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: gonna have to share. We're gonna you may have to share.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: That's the correct move is Okay, we have not enough
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: offices and we have too many therapists. Then we then
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: all the offices are rotational. That's how clinics should do.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: It is like you don't have designated spaces. You have
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: spaces that maybe you took the leadership by decorating, but
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: they're all generically offices. Yes, and then we all just
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: there's office ABC, D and E and you just rotate
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: and you like book an office for the day.
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: That's kind of like the practice I'm with now, that's
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: a little bit what it's like. We have one space
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: and we share a calendar to say, like who's going
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: to be an artist? Because a lot of us are
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: virtual that there might be like one day a week
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: we're accommodating in person clients, and so we just split
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: that up.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: The office is a resource, yeah, and you just move
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: the therapists in and out of that space. That's how
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: I think most programs solve this problem. Yeah, but no,
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: I agree, Like, and this is something that I think
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: that the public wouldn't naturally think about. But like, whenever
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: you're a therapist, the very first office that you decorate,
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: that for a lot of us, that's a big day,
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: Like for my baby therapist when they graduate and they
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: like get their first like job, their first big kid job. Yeah,
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: and like that's the thing they'll text me is like
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: a picture of their office.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: Oh yes, They're just so proud.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: And they're so proud of it, and there's just like
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: there's a whole like, oh look at how they did this,
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: and like and it's just really funny because like, as
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I guess, we're going back to this idea of like
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: stereotypical masculinity. I personally call it masculine like flowers I'm
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: not good at decorating. I don't give a ship. So
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: like my first office, I just uh like co least
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: with a female therapist. And when we sat down and
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: looked at it, you know we're going to share this office.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: She was like, so I want to sit down and
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: want to like get your design vision. I want to
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: understand like what your tastes are. And I was like,
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: here is a check for my half of the budget,
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: and I don't care. I don't give a ship. I
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: would like a chair, like a chair big enough that
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I consider like I will go chair shop it. Yeah, yeah,
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: I'll make the chair. Otherwise I don't give a ship.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Would you would have you'd have Jim's mojo dojoa house, Oh,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: that would be.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Jim's House of Therapy and no light sign on the
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: wall like Marlborough Merchant, my talking fish.
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: On the wall. Yeah.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: I was just referencing that big, big what's it called? Yes,
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: And they were like, I don't know what you're talking about.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know who I was talking to. Just like
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: last week, they're like I've never seen this. I like
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: looked it up and showed them. I'm like, your grandma
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: didn't have this in her basement. Oh, it was the
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: one from Ohio our friend we were out.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: At You take them now wire them into Like, yeah,
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: oh my god, I had.
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: No idea what I was talking about. I was like, oh,
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: my gosh. Anyway, sorry, that's funny you mentioned that.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: So first office stories, my first office out of graduate school. Well,
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: when when I was in graduate school, again, this is
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: difference between administration and clinical work. My my internship in
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: my second year of graduate school was basically being an
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: assistant to the executive director of this program. Okay, and
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: so to the regional means. So his office was we
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: had this like rehab centers, an outpatient facility. Well we
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: had a residential center connected to it. But anyway, you
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: go up the stairs and that was the administrative offices,
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: and there's just five offices in one big boardroom and
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: it was nice, big skylight over this is your first gig.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: And so I had this nice little office up there
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: and it was really cool. But then graduate I get
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: hired on as a therapist, and so my office was
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: it was a small closet converted into an office between
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: the men's room and the women's room. It was a
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: really big janitor's closet. Now, I decorated it nicely, with
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: the help of my ex wife at the time and
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: your ex wife at the time.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, decorated.
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: Got it taking where you can, But oh my god,
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: I get some fucking crazy ass smells.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: Like the restaurants that's so awful, toilets flushing and yeah,
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: oh that's just rot.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: It cannot be turned find out later, like I ended up.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: I did that for about a year, and then a
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: spot opened up in the residential facility, so I became
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: a residential counselor. So I moved over to the other
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: side of the building and come to find out that
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: my boss and skip boss that was kind of a
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: joke between the two of them is where my office was,
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: that's it, and they were just like and at some
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: point we got to get him out of there.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: Right, So this has gone on for too long. There's
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: real people getting help from them. It's not okay. So writer,
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: I guess it could be worse. I think that's a
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: good cut on that. What was your first office, Whitney.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: I mean probably at the place, Yeah, the place. I'm
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: trying to think actually for a minute, so my internship,
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: you mean, like after graduation or just anything.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: You would consider your first like this is my big
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: girl office.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: Like this is for me, I know, the one in
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: my house, Like I've always had shared spaces. I guess, yeah,
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: I've never decorated a therapeutic experence.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: It's not terribly common that people like get because a lot.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you go into private practice back in
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: the day before we even really did telehealth, that was
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: your biggest expense. It's like, now you're dropping this money,
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: then you would decorate it. I hated that, man, like
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: having to go to the furniture store starting with like
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: an empty space and now it's just like worst. I
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: loved it. You like decorating the space. Yeah, I get
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: overwhelmed with it. So like whenever I was at that
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: office at West Flamingo, I think right after we started
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: the show in twenty eighteen, we recorded a couple episodes
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: in that one that thing was fully furnished. So I
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: walked in like that was the room that they just
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: had it, and I was like, I'll take it. This
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: is fucking great. And then like when I left that
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: place and I went to the other place, it was
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: empty and I'd go buy all my own shit. And
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: that was awful, Like I hate decorating shit, that is
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: so hard.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: I want people on Discord to post their office space
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: even if you're not.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: There's a therapist Discord where they do just I'll show then. No, no, no,
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: there's a different discord I founded on Reddit.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: Like I know how to use Discord.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: That's the only I don't know.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: Barely make it out of there.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: But it's one of the best channels in that Therapist
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Discord is just people posting photos of their office.
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: It's so much pressure. I'm like, do I put like
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: assusing picture, what color palette? Or like, do I have
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: a saying on the wall that's inspirational?
• 38:31
  Speaker 5: Put a lot of yes.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: Well, and you know what, it's funny because like a
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: millennial woman.
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: I have.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: I think it still is the background fashion hanging there poster.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: I think the background of my Facebook is still a
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: live laugh love poster with skeletor and all the.
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, I did have a little office space at one
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: of the group homes that I kind of put a
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: smidge in who is under the stairs? The no ventilation
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: but reminded me of a poster that one of my clients,
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: who are all teenagers by the way, I guess he
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: had finished and left and maybe came back to visit
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: or something. Shockingly, but he came back. He's like, miss,
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: I got you this poster and it was like a
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: therapist that looks like you know, Freud or something, and
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: he's sitting in his chair and then on the couch
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: is a unicorn and the therapist is saying, you've got
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: to believe in yourself.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: Nice, Like that is so cute. That great.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: So I had that up on my wall.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: As much as I'm like, you know, minimizing how much
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: I enjoy decorating, which is not at all. I actually
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: do take like the office design very seriously because like
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, people don't they think it's just a room,
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: but it really does matter.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: Like that the arrangement of furniture says where I'm like,
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: what the hell what are you doing off? Like that
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: was like your Grandma's donated furniture, and with is on
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: the wall.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Well, even like where things are are positioned, like where's
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: the therapist in relation to the exits, is there is
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: there an object between the two of us, like claws.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: Especially like as a man, I've I've had to be
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: very mindful of like how big the room is because
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: I've wanted to save money and get a smaller room.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: But that can be too much, you know, like that
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: I'm I don't want to be knee to knee with
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: you because you're just on one side of the love
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: seat exactly on the other. Yeah, it's just too much. Yeah,
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: so power thing. Yeah, And so like there are just
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: a lot of little features go into is this space
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: gonna work? Does it feel natural? I think being comfortable
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: in a chair that you might be sitting in for
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: eight hours straight, you know, and like being able to
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: speak in there, things like the air conditioning. I remember
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: the most recent office I had. I would move to
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: this building. I'd gotten this like very rectangular, boxy office,
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: and then like it was just very hard to position
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: myself in there and give space for the couch and
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: so like I was at this weird angle. It just
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: never worked perfectly well because like the couch didn't face
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: my chair. It's like the couch was facing a wall
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: and like I was like off diagonally from it. Just
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: it was always tough because the clients had to like
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: turn on the couch and like face me at a
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: forty five degree right. It's just not good design right,
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: and I just didn't. I didn't have the furniture that
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: would fit the space. So then I upgraded to this
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: corner office in the building and it worked a lot better,
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: Like the couch fit. My chair could go right in
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: front of it, so we could talk face to face.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: But the air conditioners were really fucking loud and so
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: like they would come on, and I didn't even notice
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: that until I had fully moved in and I was
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: in a session, and I when I when I had
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: moved in, it was wintertime, and so the aces never
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: came on. And then it finally warmed up, and these
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: fuckers cranked on industrially, Oh my god, and I was like,
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: oh no, we cannot walk over. This is too much.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: It was like a goddamn diesel generation. And I just
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: realized with horror, like this is no longer a viable
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: therapy space. I have to shut this ac off. And
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: it's Vegas, right, and I had huge windows on the walls,
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, I'm fucked, and like all these things
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: can just destroy you. So like I really relate to
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: the writer in the sense that like getting your space
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: just right, feeling comfortable in your space, being able to
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: do this very intimate job. This space least does matter.
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: It's an opportunity.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, it could have been like Jim's therapy slash
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: sweat lodge.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, just hang a lantern just right, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: just sweating. Yeah, I just walk out in the towels.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: What's up? Come on? Come back? That would Oh yeah,
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: oh yeah, we're gonna get We're gonna have a sweat.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: Let's get in there. You're not gonna wear that, are you. Yeah,
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: you're gonna be really uncomfortable that wool coat. Come on back.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Pour some water on the thing, the hot stones. What
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: do you want to talk about today? Take this? Trust me,
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: I'll guide you. Just take this. Don't don't ask, don't
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: don't smell. It smells terrible. It's good for you, though.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: I don't look at that tree. It's the bad tree.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: That's the b I do agree with you, writer, but
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: I do think what I've seen in the modern era,
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: if you're going to be an owner, the owner I
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: think has the responsibility if you're if they're growing this well,
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: but they need to consolidate space. The correct way to
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: do it is that nobody gets short changed, especially if
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: everybody has equal but like this doesn't sound viable, right, Like,
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: how are you going to share if you both have
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: like let's say, sounds like you don't have enough space
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: if you're both doing twenty hours a week. I mean
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: maybe if you're going seven days a week. But like
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: again the round robin format, that's the only way to
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: do it is to have all five offices activated or
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: whatever amount there were.
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: You're saying, like you could be in a different office
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: every week.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: They a lot of clinics do that, really, Yeah, they'll
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: just be like there's offices A through E, like you know,
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: UNLV's the practice. The kids don't get to pick which office.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: I could see that in spaces like that where all
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: the offices look the same pretty much. Yeah, okay, I
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: mean it's not like, oh, this one's zen and this one's.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: We do that the children's clinics, though those students know
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: which one is the good one. Though. Yeah, that's true.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: There's there's third ones. But we do have them decorated,
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: like we have a stars one, we have an animals one,
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: so like we have one in the kids one.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: Different things. I get that for adults, I.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: Don't have a preference, but if you make America enough
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: you can swap through. You wouldn't have any personal items
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: in there, you know, you wouldn't have your degrees up. Yeah, yeah,
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: like I have to have Yeah right, how are people
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: going to know? Just put everybody's degree up? Yeah, that's
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: just in the lobby mugshots. No, you just wear them
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: like a sandwich. Yeah.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, let's fla a flavor with the clock.
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: That's how I want to wear my kernel certificate, Toko,
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: the gym's degree scoop.
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't wait. I don't blame you for being up.
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: I feel like finding a way to have a conversation
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: with your boss. Again, if there's some world where this
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: might be temporary while your boss is looking to expand space,
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: that might be a thing.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: That's one thing.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: It also could be temporary in the sense that they
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: tried this and realize like, oh, this isn't really working working.
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: But I mean, if she moves out of her office
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: in there, yeah, yeah, you gotta put the toothpaste back
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: at the tub.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: At that point, well, just just do a sit in
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: it a bit. In these small sessions, tenths of the law,
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: in these small office settings, I do think there's something
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: to be said for she has seniority. Like I joined
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: this earlier, I was with the owner right away. I
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: have the larger office sometimes because I'm the most senior
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: therapist and like others come to consult with me, and
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: so like I need the bigger space because I might
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: welcome two or three therapists to consult on cases or whatever,
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: which is a lot of times whye administrators end up
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: with the larger offices because they have to says also
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: why it's really nice to uh, I mean to be
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: motivated when you're when you're young, to set a goal
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: to generate the most amount of revenue. Yeah, with the organization,
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: then you'll always get first off Yeah, and then it
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: means it means, yeah, get zone locker.
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: You know why you don't want to be able to
• 46:20
  Speaker 4: be replaced with one person. Yeah, that's exactly goal.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: But I like the idea of talking to the owner,
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: you know, like and look, I can see the argument
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: of like it feels weird to ask for preferential treatment.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: I could see the new therapists that are having to
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: migrate over to your office from twenty minutes away, them
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: feeling less than because now they're like why should they
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: be treated differently when they were just in a different space.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: They're not less than those who are in this space.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: Every it has become everybody's home. But that's where the
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: round robin format I think is the most equal thing
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: is to look at each office kind of come to
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: a group consensus. Does this room work for everybody? And
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: then you basically like just schedule your appointment. But I
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: can also where this is not going to work, like
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: they just don't have the space.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: Still, it doesn't make sense to me. Everyone has the
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: same caseload. One is wheer is everyone meeting.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: Here's what you're gonna do.
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: You're gonna get on Facebook Marketplace and you're gonna do
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: a search for r V and you're gonna park that
• 47:15
  Speaker 4: motherfucker in the parking and it's gonna be the satellite
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: campus and the new kids they're gonna have their offices
• 47:22
  Speaker 4: in the r V.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna be right where it is. It's like
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: the portable. You tell your boss that I figured this out.
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah I'm also doctor smith. Yeah, thank you.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: If so, there's one more library chef doctor recommends, I
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: can recommend approved.
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: Do I remember this correctly? There's one more therapist than there.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: Is one extra therapist.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: I think it's one. Yeah, I think there's well there's
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: at least one because she has some of them are
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: going remote. Oh yeah, that's right. Okay.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: I'm wondering if maybe the owner thinks that somebody's just
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: not gonna want to move from the other office.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, they're banking on this just being a bailout. Yeah that, like,
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: I mean twenty miles.
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: Away, they're like, we'll see what happens and hoping they
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: just find somewhere else.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: To Yeah, and they'll just be like, nah, if you're
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: gonna move the office, if I have to go, if
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: I have to drive, you.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: Might be waiting it out. Yeah, they might be waiting
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: it out. That's a good point, your heels in writer.
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: I don't kind of.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: Wondering if like the administrator, the owner here maybe knows
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: something else.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: Well, they're clearly not making the investment, Like that's clearly
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: a downsize. If you used to have two campuses and
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: everybody was full and they're consolidating one campus, you're letting
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: go of that half of town like twenty minutes away,
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: So you're consolidating and that downsize. Yeah, it might just
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: be a thing where the owner's like, you know, the
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: writing's on the wall, like, we're not gonna be able
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: to keep these caseloads up and I'm gonna have to
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: let one person go and migrate their caseload over to
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: the other person.
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: Well, I feel like probably just two people are like
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: we're going virtual. And then she's like, I'm not keeping
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: an office open for one person.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, that could be that's what I was gussing.
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: So she's like, you have to go over, And then
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: what Nick was saying kind of checks out a little more.
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: Maybe she's banking on that that other person either won't
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: last very long or just not start at all, or
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: we'll go virtual as well. But again, stay in your office,
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: don't Why isn't that the shared office? Then if someone
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: else to I don't understand.
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: I mean, I think, and if you can share it,
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: if you see a way to that, it could be
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: a shared office.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: That's a really nice counter offer to be able to
• 49:25
  Speaker 4: go back and be like, look, don't make me move,
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: but I can clean out this side of the office
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: and then we can share it.
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: We'll put another desk in.
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: Over your schedule with someone like yeah, I.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: Always appreciated that when I was an administrator, if somebody
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: came to me instead of just saying like, hey, here's
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: a problem, yeah, to be able to say like, hey.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: I've got to think about that with an idea, yeah, yeah.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: And I could see going to the other therapists and saying, hey,
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: none of us wants to be the odd one out.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: Do we want to come up with something where we're
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: regis arvy or the r V or I think the
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: obvious lands writers gradational in the office and then let
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: everybody know that she's had a lot of sex in
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: that office. Mark your territory. That's it right there. And
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: then it's going to be like because women are afraid
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: of the sex scent of other women, they can they
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: can sense it. Let me tell you about women. Let
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: me tell you they told them at the women's conference.
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you all about the ladies and femininity
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: they know flares ladies, Hello ladies. Let me teach you
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: about man. Let me tell you about the scent of
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: sex with other women. The stink knows that wet smell.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: It's a musk. Anyway, writer, I feel like you've gotten
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: your money's worth. I'm giving you some solid advice. Let
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: us know this turns out. But see if that round Robin.
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: Thinking I am curious, please follow up I know, and show.
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: Us a picture of the office. Get on our discord
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: and put up the picture. We only want to see
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: exactly what these officers look like. We're gonna take a
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: quick break in when we come back, we're discussing panic attack,
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: Doctor dread triangle. You're listening to pod therapy.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Judy Schneider, Leona
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: Carolyn Albert, Sammy Scooty, Sarah Smith, Mike Count, Darren Cunningham,
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: Tody the Dolorian Guy, Brady Malaycheck and Max the Ginger Spooko.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: And there goes the show. So long would you like
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: to spons.
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: Dot com?
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: So when people place those wagers in twenty eighteen of
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: which host was going to use a racial slur first,
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: I didn't even think of that. It was very low,
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: very low. I didn't not the chuck you don't have it.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: I got it. But Jacob, in his wisdom, they played
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: the long game. That's retirement money right there in the
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: pool goes to mister Smith. Pay the man.
• 52:03
  Speaker 4: All right, here we go, arteries, veins, buzz, capillaries. Yes, wow, ah,
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: transportation vessels for blood in our bodies.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: I give that to him.
• 52:22
  Speaker 4: Yes, it was the cardio, but throwing in transportation helps.
• 52:31
  Speaker 4: I remember the Schoolhouse Rock episode of this.
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: That's right. Uh five points, motherfuckers? Five points?
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: Can I get one of those for saying vessels? Just
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: one point four points?
• 52:47
  Speaker 4: Estonia Latvia?
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: Thank any one the funk knows?
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Types of bread? Yeah, I mean, buzz, go ahead, buzz,
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: Well you already said all three. Yeah, I don't know.
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: I'm away for Jacob to say.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: His first Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania types of bread.
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: I thought lot Villa's were like Jewish pancakes or something.
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: Oh god, LATAs, that's it? Yeah, never mind, Okay, I
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: forgot what it was though. What was it? What were
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: the things? Soviet Union?
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: That's what I was going to say.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: They are, but remember its triplets, so there was fifteen
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: that was going.
• 53:38
  Speaker 4: To be my Soviet Union.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: They only they all speak language.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: True, they are the only three countries in the world
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: that speak a language.
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: They border and ocean.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: You're actually closer than you think. They're the Baltic States.
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: Okay, it wasn't too much. Look at me, you were
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: almost getting one on my own.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, looking at this in hindsight, knowing how you're all
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: doing with this game. This one's you're not going to
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: but you.
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: Do it anyways.
• 54:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: Brussels, Ship, Luxembourg, Strasburg, Strasbourg, Brussels, Luxembourg, Strassburg.
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: Places where Jean Claude van dam has made sweet love
• 54:28
  Speaker 4: to a woman, made love to a woman three times.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: It was in those only, It's only happened in those
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: three places.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: That's the last one. Straus Strasburg, Strausburg, Luxembourg. There's the
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: three capitals of the EU. Yeah, you idiots, so embarrassing.
• 54:52
  Speaker 5: Another one, now, this is where it gets hard.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: Ship.
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: Okay, last one for this round.
• 55:01
  Speaker 5: This one Tomato, mozzarella, buzz basil.
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and it's part of the caprice salad.
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: I would have been like I just didn't want to
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: be zero.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: I got four more.
• 55:23
  Speaker 4: Wouldn't do that at the end of the show, or
• 55:24
  Speaker 4: do it now?
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: Let's do one more? Okay, we do three at the end,
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: all right?
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: Ailerons elevators, buzz flaps, no flaps.
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: No, I don't even know what these words are.
• 55:38
  Speaker 4: Saying arons, aleronss, elevators, rons, elevators.
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: Third one is rudder, wow, buzz part of a plane
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: engine or plane.
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: Wing?
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: Plane wing?
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, aviation control Sirs.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, I was so close, that's what you were going.
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, you could see it.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: Also flaps, yeah, apparently, though they don't have flaps listed
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: as aviation control surfaces.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: Definitely control.
• 56:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know what, I think. Everybody's zero again.
• 56:24
  Speaker 4: Everybody do your research and come back next week.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: All right, good, so we all agree we're all back
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: to zero. The Panic Anxiety Doctor Dread Triangle. Hi, all,
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: thank you for taking my question. I've been listening for
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: a long time now. I would have recommended your podcast
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: to basically everyone I know. It is really enjoyable while
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: also being useful. Thanks for making it happen. I have
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: lost all of my jobs and friends as a result.
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: You've ruined my life. Yeah, writer, I'll believe it when
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: I read your god damn five star review, so put
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: it up there. I've got a question that lives at
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: the intersection of mental health and modern medicine. The Anxiety
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: Panic Doctor Dread Triangle. I've had social anxiety for twenty years, diagnosed, confirmed,
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: and now pretty well managed. I've got a solid toolkit journaling,
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: yoga and exercise, mindfulness supplements, limited caffeine, et cetera. I
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: do occasional therapy tune ups when life gets extra hard. Generally,
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: only those closest to me know what it's like for me.
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: Everyone else seems to see me as a cool, calm,
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: collected professional. But when I go to my primary care doctor,
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: I turn into a ball of stress. My heart races,
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: my brain glitches, I sweat through my clothes, and my
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: blood pressure skyrockets. Classic white coat anxiety. The problem my
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: doctor keeps flagging my blood pressure as a medical concern.
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: While I've told her I get anxious at the office,
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: She's never asked follow up questions about my anxiety and
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: doesn't seem to take me very seriously. I think I
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: come across as calm to her, which is both my
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: superpower and my curse. A few months ago, I started
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: taking my blood pressure at home with a monitor, and
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: when I'm not in a fluorescent lit room being eyeballed
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: and questioned, my numbers are always totally normal. So how
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: do I bring this up to my doctor in a
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: way that doesn't make her feel criticized or make my
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: social anxiety melt me into a puddle of dread. I
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: respect her, and rural healthcare is slim pickings, so I'd
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: rather not switch providers. But I'm also so tired of
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: the blood pressure talk every single visit, which just makes
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: everything worse. Sometimes I even find excuses to avoid going
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: in for a cold or minor problem, for example, because
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: I know she's going to make it all about my
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: blood pressure. Uugh. Do I say something to her? Do
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: I smile and nod and just decline to do more testing?
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: Or is there a magical third option I haven't thought of,
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: because my socially anxious brain short circuits around already figures
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: thank you for your help, sincerely, blood pressure. I don't
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: even know her.
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: This reminds me of something that was happening exactly one
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: year ago this month, where I was in a room
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: in a hospital with my friend who was having a baby.
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: I've never seen that before. Okay, yeah, but you.
• 59:21
  Speaker 4: Came to the studio afterwards.
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: The prequel the Greek guy, Yes, the Greek guy. The
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: prequel to this was when she first my friend first
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: went into the hospital. She thought that her water had broke.
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: She wasn't sure, so it was early in the morning,
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: like seven am. She didn't end up having the baby
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: till like six thirty pm. But seven am she's like,
• 59:39
  Speaker 3: all right, I think I'm gonna have it. So by
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: the time I got up to the hospital, the Greek
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: guy was already there, but she's in the triage area okay,
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: And so this nurse was coming in. She had her
• 59:51
  Speaker 3: doula with her and.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: Dulah blangata exactly full.
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: Lot, Jim, do you know what a doula is?
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, I mean it's one more than you're stupid.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'll bet you can't name it. Control surfaces
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: of an airplance.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: I was like, jes this is gonna be in the Jewela,
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 5: the Pinta.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: Okay. So her doula, her birth support person, was in
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: there with her in the triosroom. So I go back
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: and I'm asking, I'm like, hey, how are you doing.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: She's like fine, but my blood pressure is high. Because
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: I hate this fucking nurse, I was like really, She's
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: like yeah, and she's trying to tell me because my
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: blood pressure is high, they're going to have to induce
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: me because I'm not I'm not actually in labor yet.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: And they're like, well, that's dangerous for the baby. And
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: she's like, I'm trying to tell her my blood pressure
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 3: is high because I don't fucking want her near me.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, but it was
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: just so apparent. Well, sorry, before I say that, the
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 3: doula would be like, lay on your left side, like
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: do these things that will help lower your blood pressure,
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: and she was like advocating, hey, doctor, nurse, come back in.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: Different nurse, not the same one. Different nurse, come back
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: in here in like ten minutes. If her blood pressure
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: isn't dropped, fine, but like give us a minute to
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: make it an environmental change, like going to the doctor
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: and see if it lowers on its own, which it did,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: and they didn't have the nurse come back and so
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: she didn't have to induce. But I was like, it
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: was so crazy to see how her body works. She
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: really did. She was like getting her away from me.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: She's a.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: Here we go again on her.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: Roll or like all of them, all of course, many bites.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: You silly, grease, I check it, how silly, I'll just
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: check it, buddy.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she was just trying. She wasn't listening to her,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: like very unusual, not typical nurse like behavior. So anyway,
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: I feel like I think of that moment when I
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: hear this writer talking about how there's just a situation
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: that is inducing this blood pressure. And when I saw
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 3: my friend, Yes, she's like she's pregnant, so I imagine
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: that puts a lot of pressure on your blood vessels.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: But other than that, she didn't. She wasn't yelling, she
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: wasn't upset. She's just like, I just don't want her
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: near me, just like calm demeanor.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, externally seems fine but knows her own body.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: Yes, internally she's like get away from me, just like
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: you are with your doctor. Right.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I want to relate to some of this
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: letter too. I have horrible what the writer calls white
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: coat anxiety. Really, oh, it's awful. So like anytime I
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: have to go to a doctor's office, it is always
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: really really bad, like and I'll try to like go
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: in for like annual blood work. It is such a
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: what are you thinking about?
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: What's going on? Did something happen in your childhood?
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, if we're doing this, I guess I don't think
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: that's what we want to do. Are doing fifty I
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: don't know if that's what we want to do. I
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: don't think we're doing extra innings later. Yeah, but yeah,
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: I know it is trauma based, but like, no, it's
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: it's really really bad because like whenever I go to
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: a doctor's office, it is just always an ordeal. And
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: like a lot of times I'll do well visits, like
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: you know, just for like annual blood work or whatever
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: it needs to get done, and like that whole process
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: is terrible. I cannot look up my blood results. So
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: like a lot of people like will get their test
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: done and then they get the little ping to their
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: health file they pull it up. I cannot do it
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: because I will see something that's not good, right, and
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: it will you think good that that isn't It'll be
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: because the little charts will show you like you're in
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: the red on this. I'll have green, yellow red, that's it.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: But even that stuff, like there's been times where I've
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: had that and I've looked.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 4: Up my shults. Yeah, I don't know what the fun
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 4: send me that? Yeah, because I care about this because
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 4: whenever my labs are tell me what I need to do,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: that's why.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: That's why you get paid.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: Whenever my labs are available, Laura wants to see them.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: She's like, let me look at him, let me look
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: at him. It's like and she sees it and she's like,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: oh my god, Nick, this is red, and it's like, yeah,
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: we don't know.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: What that means. I don't know me and medium rare.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: I gotta doctor, I'm undercook.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 4: I go to my doctor and my doctor's like, yeah,
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 4: we knew it was going to be red. It was
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 4: red because you're on this medication and that's what that
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 4: s measure. Yeah, it's perfectly fine. You're right, you know,
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 4: and it's just a little ship like that. And then
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 4: of course that doesn't come out when I have to Laura.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so yours is what's called a normal person reaction.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: I cannot look at that because I will, Laura, except
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: in my own head, and there will be no Nick
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: to stop me, so it will just keep spiraling until
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: I explode. So yeah, no, I I really feel for
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: the writer because like for me, you know, like there's
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: been times in my life where I've had to take
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: medication in order to go to the doctor, and so
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: like I will be in the lobby and I will
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: be trying to get through it. Yeah yeah, you gotta yeah,
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: yeah yeah. They roll it in the cheese and they
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: just kind of get me at the front door and
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: they're like, hey, Bud, Hey, Hey, Hey, gotch my ear
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: a little bit? Yeah, Like who's that guy? What's going
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: on over there? Hey? What's this? Oh? I has a cheese?
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: Can I have that cheese? Yeah? You can have this cheese.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: Cool.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 4: I'm the part of that that wouldn't work on it.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 4: I'd challenge you to name the part of that that
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 4: wouldn't work in real life.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I definitely relate. I have not had the
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 2: situation where this shows up as a blood pressure thing.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah no, I don't think so. Now, So I don't
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: think I've had that particular like issue. I relate. Yeah right,
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: I just don't go anymore. But I really like this
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: specific thing seems like a surmountable issue.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 4: This is a conversation. This is well, I think it's
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 4: a conversation. And one thing that I would suggest too
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 4: is get yourself a good blood pressure cuff. Get on
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 4: Amazon or store or whatever whatever you do Craigslist, Yeah,
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 4: get on there, give yourself a really good digital you know,
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 4: high end blood pressure cuff. Spend a little bit of money.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 4: I spend one hundred bucks on it. Whatever, I just
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 4: them up online.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: Is I going to go?
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 4: The first one that popped up was like sixty seven
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 4: dollars and it looked perfectly good, had a big digital
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 4: display screen and everything. And then like, keep track of
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 4: that blood pressure. Yeah, keep a charge of it, send
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 4: it to the and they'd give it to the doctor.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: Right. It seems like the writers are already doing that.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 3: I was just going to say, didn't they say they
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: were doing that? Well, oh yeah, it doesn't have to be.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: The writer seems to be afraid that this is going
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: to contradict the doctor. But I think this is you
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: obeying the doctor. Doctor. Thanks for telling me about this.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: I decided to start monitoring it to get you more
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: thorough readings on this. Here's my data. I don't know
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: how to interpret it. What is that saying?
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 4: But I think you could say, like I think that
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 4: I think me coming here it stresses me out. Yeah,
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 4: I have a hard time with this. So I think
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 4: the readings are showing up high. Here. Here are the
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 4: here like the readings, the narrative is good and area
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 4: I don't think you have to be argumentative about it.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 4: You're just presenting new information.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I don't think.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 4: Uh.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: I think you know, if your doctor is that sensitive
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: where they can't take that information, they're probably not that
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: good of a doctor.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: I think there's not very many doctors a rural town.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, but I don't think you know that
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 4: that is not like those blood pressure numbers are not
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 4: the blood pressure numbers that you have twenty four hours
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 4: a day.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like that's just not That's not how it works.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: Here's how I would approach it. I would do the
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: exact same thing I would. I would track all of that. Yeah,
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: and of course, because it's me, i'd put.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: All this is very important, right, No one disagrees that
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: this is here we go. You have a very important job, doctor,
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: don't you agree? Raise your hand if you've ever lost
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: a patient. Okay, So there, write all this, put all
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: this down an Excel spreadsheet, and keep track of all
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: of this, track it, and then take it in and
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: then just explain to your doctor like, thank you. You
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: know I've been I've been taking your advice. I've been
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: watching all of this. I think the other piece of
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: this puzzle.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 4: Is my anxiety.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and just throw that out there and just say
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: like like, this is what's happened. Yeah, I totally agree
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: with everything you're saying. Yeah, and also I've got a
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: lot of anxiety, and it's all I don't like coming
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: to the doctor's off.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: Face on it. I think this is all tied together,
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: and I want to find solutions for all of this.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: I disagree with both of you. You explained to the doctor. Look,
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: I have a cocaine problem. Okay, I'm just a line.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 4: I come in here.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: You still have my attention. A little bump, all right,
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: and I'm sorry, all right, and that's all you do.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: You apologize. Yeah, the doctor looks that's how that always happens.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: Never ask you about your blood pressure.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 2: Hard day. I need a little bump.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 4: I missed my rock and roll doctor. I used to
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 4: have a doctor that was just it was like me
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 4: and all of these just like rocks.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: For his patients.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 3: You have to be a different level.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: I was just like his tamest patient that he had,
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: hardly have any You're not objective things in yourself, super
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 2: high sticker, being sober during most of this visit. I mean,
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: you start drinking halfway through. You're welcome, Doc, Yeah, I
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: got out of your cabinet. Jesus.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 4: I heard a joke the other day when my coughing
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 4: buddies was like he went to the doctor and the
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 4: doctor told me, you need to stop masturbating. And he's
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 4: like why, He's like, because I'm trying to do your.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: Because I hear it through the stethoscope. I can hear
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: your heartbeat because you're hitting me on your upswing.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 3: Very distracting.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: So I think we're all on the same page that
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: the magical third way is to agree with the doctor
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: that the finding is evident, like not saying this isn't nothing,
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: but to say I think I figured out what that is.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad you caught this, Doc, because I started
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: monitoring myself at home, and what I noticed was when
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 2: I was having an anxiety episode, I was noticing my
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: BP go up, and that's when it clicked, Doc, I've
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: been feeling pretty anxious when I come visit you. It's
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: almost like.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: Where you're You're you're giving the answer but letting them
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: put the final piece out.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're giving credit to the boss. Scott appro so brilliant.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 3: What I guess Okay, so you do all of those
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 3: things and she's like, oh, yeah, it probably is due
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 3: to anxiety about coming into the doctor's office. If I'm
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 3: their doctor, I'm not going to never ask about the
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 3: high blood I would probably be like, or never, I'm
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: not going to stop asking about the high blood pressure.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 4: I was about to say, from the doctor's point of view,
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 4: this might not change anything.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm trying, I guess putting a realistic expectation
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 3: for the writer, Like maybe they could ask differently and say, hey,
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: are you still monitoring your blood pressure? How is it looking?
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 3: Maybe they'll shift their question. They will probably still ask, though,
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: because you can't not ask, like that's got to be
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: some kind.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: Of whatever the cause is, like you want you want
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 2: to take care of it. Well, there's another issue here too.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 2: Whenever you have a session that the doctor has to
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: document the vitals and so on the doctor's notes, it's
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: always showing high BP to the insurance and so there
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: has to be clinical indicators of the doctor has to
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: do something about that. And one of those interventions that's
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: going to be documented is discussed with the patient high
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: blood press.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, discuss you're still in charge of if you want
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: to take any of those meds or do anything about it.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: Writers, they probably have to say something.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: I wonder from the from the writer's perspective, if it
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: would matter, if there would be any kind of difference
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: knowing that, like you're bringing in your own data and
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: you're still managing this and just being able to show
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: the doctor that you're managing it, you know, and just
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: like you come in there every appointment, you just have
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: your little binder, you know, of your like Romney references,
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: because like you can't control what that doctor is going
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: to do.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: No, so so do what you do what you need
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: to do, and like, yeah, keep track of.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 4: Your blood pressure, do these things that we're talking about,
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 4: talk to the doctor about it.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 3: They may still ask everything.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 4: They might still ask every time, and it might be
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 4: annoying every time. Yeah, I would say I'm doing a
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 4: radical shift on my approach. Yeah, And I am saying
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 4: work on the fact that it annoys you more than
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 4: the rest of it. I agree with that.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: I do think that you tracking it on your own
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: changes the relationship between you and the doctor and then
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: now you're working as a team. Yes, Yeah, And I
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: do think that by doing that you will be slightly
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: less annoyed when your doctor asks.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 4: And I think my point is you do all of
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 4: those things because those are the things that you can
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: do exactly like you can do things to help the situation.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: So do those things.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and then if the doctor continues being annoying after
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 4: you have done those things, that's different.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: Then fuck it. Don't worry about it, and don't smile
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: A none, that's it. But no, this is hyper compliance,
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: right because the writer says, hey, look, I'm intimidated by
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: authority figures. I short circuit. I want to smile a
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: not I don't want to contradict. But I also don't
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 2: like being tested over and over again. So I think
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: we're all saying, okay, hyper comply, do the testing at home,
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 2: bringing loads of data, and then say, hey, look, I've
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 2: been doing more of this at your recommendation, and don't
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 2: like an asshole. Yeah no, not genuinely. Yeah, you're doing
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 2: all of this genuine I appreciate you bringing this up
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: over and over again. I decided to start seeing what
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: it's like over the course of a I want to
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 2: start doing the work on it. Yes, and so I've
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: been tracking it every day for the last thirty days.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: I do my reading every single day.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 4: You have concerns about my health. I want to address
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 4: those concerns about my health because it's my fucking health.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: I think, like, let's fit bit, we'll probably just track
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 2: this ship. You could probably just like outload it as
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 2: a CSV or whatever. I'm not worrieding it right now.
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: Charging but you have an order ring R Cool. It
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: didn't do blood pressure as well? Okay, yeah it does
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: all it does blood splatter, I think, yeah, it does
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: like two saturation, there's a lot of that kind of stuff.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: Really well, it doesn't do I don't think it does
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 2: BP as well.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: realize that the ORR ring was not a birth control device.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 3: That's what that.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: You know what, I'm not mad at you. I think
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: you're you're you're real, and either way it is birth
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 2: control because not a lot of dudes are getting laid
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: with that ring right now. I think of the exception
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: more than the rules. He's been married a while. I'm
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 2: just saying, I don't think you could have picked up
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 2: Sja walking into the bar with the R right like
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: beats per minute. Yeah, it doesn't have blood pressure Yeah,
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: that seems a little too sensitive, so writer, good luck
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: on this. Just know that you're in well established company.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: A lot of us really struggle with like healthcare, office
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 2: visit anxiety. It's just a lot of attached phrasing, a
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: lot of fear, and I think that you're adapting that
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: really well. I'm glad you have control over your general
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: anxiety realities. That's huge, you know, from one person that
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: suffers to another. I think that we got to celebrate
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: those victories. It's always good. But yeah, I love the
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: suggestions that you're hearing today of just like gathering more
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: data bringing that with you, and that's just hyper compliance.
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: That way, you're not being disrespectful. You don't have to
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: smile a nod, you don't have to just keep getting prodded.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: You're just doing more data gathering, giving that to the doctor,
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 2: letting them make an educated opinion about what they're seeing,
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: and it'll probably be the conclusion you've already reached, which
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: is great because you're just helping them see that data
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: that they don't have, that only you have from your
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 2: own body. We're in take quick break and when we
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 2: come back, we're wrapping up the show. You're listening to
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: pod therapy.
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 4: Today's episode is brought to you by Judy Schneider, Leona,
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 4: Carolyn Albert, Sammy Scoop, Sarah Smith, My Calm, Darren Cunningham, Tody,
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 4: the Deloring Guy, Breaking Max, the Ginger.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: Scoop the show. I'm just glad, he said, Ginger. All right,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: here we go. Skeleet all smooth, ribbed for her pleasure.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: Shit cardiac a little smooth and cardiac systems.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 3: No, huh, smooth is throwing me off.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 5: Skeletal baby, I don't know types of muscle tissue.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 2: All right, I'm not mad at any of us. That
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 2: was a dumb one.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 4: Smooth fold fault block fuck ah. Volcanic, Oh, don't say rock.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 4: It's not going to be that again.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 2: Fold fault block.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 3: Okay, but fault tectonic plates, good, guess tectonic What is
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 3: the fault line? Faults? Okay, alright, no, okay, I'm close though,
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 3: so you'll better just really close.
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 2: Fault block, volcanic, what's the what's that thing? Creases? I
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 2: thought those are called faults. Were the two plates hit
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: each other, that would be a triplet bumping uglies edges, edging.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 2: I want to say, like pressure releases. Yeah, frothy types
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: of volcanoes, mountain types. Oh, I mean, like, I just
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 2: want you to know Whitney spiritually. I think you were right.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 4: So she was not right.
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 2: Not give her any fault block volcanic. I've never heard
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 2: of those first two things in my life. Clearly you
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 2: spirit audio.
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 4: I guess I've never been to mountain classes. You missed
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 4: that day in Louisiana. Yeah, not a lot of mountain
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 4: classes in Louisiana.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 2: I think there's sus with the right ya ever said
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: it was the teacher who was a kid's mom. A
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 2: hard day on the farm. Third, he earned it another
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 2: good day to join the patriots. Said that. I just
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 2: said he was in education.
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: Last one chickpeas tahini buzz Yes, what's the other?
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 3: Is it like?
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 2: Umm? It's like I'm gonna give it to you. Okay.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 2: It's lemon juice, lemon juice ingredients and hummus. Yes, oh yeah,
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: that's cool. Good work team. Once again, as we wrap
• 1:18:49
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• 1:19:13
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• 1:21:08
  Speaker 2: I'm Tangament, I'm Jim. Thanks, don't see you for your appointment?
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 2: Sweet damn your triplets, Damn, I'm surprised. Going to be
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: like Louie Dewey. Yeah, well, I know you're gonna do
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 2: ignacious and ship. Who's the other one? Job? Louie Dewey?
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 2: And who fuck isn't it Donald? Did I just say no,
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: Louie Dewey, you don't Scrooge? Oh screwed? No, God, we
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 2: need to huge huge What did I say, Louis Dewey
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 2: and Hug.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 3: You didn't even say it in the right word.
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 2: That's right. Their uncles are Scrooge and Donald, and Daisy
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: is an aunt. She's a duck. Actually, their mom is
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 2: revealed in another show. I think her name was like
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know remember, it's like love definitely start with
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: a D I don't remember anymore anyway. That's goofy, Goodbye everybody,