Latest / CALL ME MISTRESS / FUCKING MACHINES, DILDOS AND THE TREMOR!!

Transcript

FUCKING MACHINES, DILDOS AND THE TREMOR!! · CALL ME MISTRESS

• 0:07
  Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
• 0:10
  I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and you know my sidekick.
• 0:14
  Me. Madam Live.
• 0:17
  I. Love it.
• 0:20
  How you doing Madam? Like you're.
• 0:21
  Batman and I'm. Wait, what's the guy's?
• 0:24
  What's the little kid's name? Robin.
• 0:26
  Oh, all right. OK, you can be Robin.
• 0:32
  I'll be Batman. I am Batman.
• 0:35
  Rot. OK, he.
• 0:37
  Turned British. We need a British Batman.
• 0:42
  You know what? Yeah, we.
• 0:43
  Do be sexy. Oh, the guy that plays the
• 0:49
  taken? You're talking about Liam
• 0:51
  Neeson. Yeah, he'd be a hot Batman.
• 0:54
  He would be hot rich man saving the world.
• 0:59
  Like he's on the phone. He's like, I don't know where
• 1:02
  you're at, but I will find you. I want you down.
• 1:06
  'Cause I am Batman. Fuck, I think our little panties
• 1:13
  that we're not wearing are getting very wet now.
• 1:16
  Oh, you're showing me. Oh oh.
• 1:17
  I'm wearing great panties. What the That's not sexy?
• 1:22
  We didn't plan for. This to be sexy.
• 1:24
  I'm not wearing any panties. You.
• 1:26
  Oh. You may be over there.
• 1:31
  All right, so Liv, I sent you the screenshot because it's so
• 1:36
  sweet you got this guy and he is a little and he wrote me on Fat
• 1:41
  Life yesterday and he said, I just wanted to say I came across
• 1:45
  your episodes with Mistress Liv and fell in love with your
• 1:49
  podcast. I love the positive words for
• 1:52
  the littles and the love of having an inside look at your
• 1:55
  wonderful profession. Thank you for providing it.
• 1:58
  Yeah, it was super sweet. Yeah, I'm super sweet.
• 2:01
  I need. To come in and see us.
• 2:02
  Yeah, that's that's really sweet.
• 2:05
  Now then of course, we have someone who said, who in the
• 2:09
  hell is that girl in the outfit getting spanked in your podcast
• 2:14
  video? Who are we talking about that
• 2:18
  That is Charles? Was no.
• 2:24
  It could be Charles, yeah. Because what other girl are you
• 2:28
  all talking about? The other one I did was by the
• 2:30
  pool and that was Al. OK.
• 2:34
  And you know, I called her a good little girl, but she's that
• 2:37
  girl Al on fat. So either it's that girl or
• 2:43
  they're referring to Charles, who is, who is our lovely little
• 2:48
  friend so. Yeah, he was on one of our
• 2:52
  episodes recently. Yeah, some.
• 2:54
  I'm digging that someone else wrote us again, I'm a huge fan.
• 2:58
  Your voice is a hot fucking turn on for me.
• 3:01
  My biggest kink is phone sex, especially when the girl talks
• 3:05
  about me Cumming deep inside of her pussy and then she tells me
• 3:09
  all about sucking my cock after I come to taste it.
• 3:13
  Your voice is again a huge turn on.
• 3:15
  Keep on with the great work. Cheers.
• 3:19
  So we can always give him a little taste and say, oh, Gavin,
• 3:23
  you want to cum in my hot, wet pussy with your big hot cock?
• 3:27
  Yeah. No, thank you, Gavin.
• 3:31
  Well, and you did so nice, like you say, pussy really good.
• 3:34
  Do I say pussy? Really good.
• 3:35
  I don't know how you do that. Oh yeah.
• 3:38
  Because I used to do phone sex live and I always get so hot.
• 3:42
  I would laugh. I wouldn't.
• 3:45
  You would. Sometimes you could laugh, you
• 3:47
  know, You could laugh. Yeah.
• 3:50
  It's just some of the people that you talked to over the
• 3:52
  years of doing this. It's just like, God, please hang
• 3:56
  up the fucking phone. Don't keep talking to me.
• 3:58
  Yeah, Yeah, it's because. You've done it for so long,
• 4:01
  probably it's just like redundant.
• 4:04
  Another guy doing this, Yeah. Yeah, it was extremely
• 4:07
  monotonous. Then someone said I come every
• 4:11
  day. I listen to your podcast just
• 4:13
  because of your voice. See, I'm telling you, you have a
• 4:16
  great voice. I'm sure you hear it all the
• 4:17
  time. But.
• 4:18
  It's still sweet. I appreciate that.
• 4:20
  Yeah. You know, I said my passion was
• 4:22
  always music. And so I went through three, 3
• 4:27
  1/2 years of vocal training and I, I was taught to sing opera
• 4:31
  primarily, but I learned to sing in four different languages.
• 4:35
  So it was always music around. It was always being very
• 4:39
  versatile in what I sang. So I can do a different
• 4:41
  impressions. I can always try to be versatile
• 4:44
  with my voice. But last October I got this
• 4:48
  thing and it's attacked my vocal cords and you all can hear it
• 4:51
  now. It's not as sexy as it used to
• 4:54
  be, so. It's just a little sickness, so
• 4:57
  it'll get better. Oh.
• 4:57
  God, I hope so. I.
• 4:59
  Mean it does get better and then it goes back again, yeah.
• 5:02
  So it's been difficult not being able to sing in full voice
• 5:06
  'cause I'm not supposed to be singing.
• 5:07
  Is that what you did recently? You were singing.
• 5:09
  No, it's me talking all the time.
• 5:11
  And so of course my husband says quit fucking talking, you're
• 5:15
  ruining my voice. You're ruining me.
• 5:18
  Wait. Oh.
• 5:19
  Yeah, that's sweet. All right.
• 5:22
  So we really have, we have a lot of nice emails.
• 5:24
  I can't even read them all, honestly, because there's a lot
• 5:27
  on fat that are just like, wow. And then these are through our
• 5:31
  own e-mail that we get. So, you know, I always say
• 5:35
  thanks for us, for the support of all of our listeners.
• 5:37
  I think it's a really great thing.
• 5:39
  And you know, Liv and I, we are setting up our podcast room.
• 5:46
  We're getting ready to do at least one video podcast a week.
• 5:50
  Yeah, gonna see how it goes. I guess they can sit there and
• 5:54
  look at us and. Yeah, while we talk.
• 5:57
  Exciting, they can see. Like.
• 6:01
  The other day, how you did that one little thing and you're like
• 6:04
  the choking thing, You're like it's.
• 6:07
  Like, yeah, I always like a lot of faces.
• 6:09
  You do. It's hilarious.
• 6:12
  Yeah, it's funny. The other day I took Charles in
• 6:16
  the dungeon and you know he has worked so hard.
• 6:20
  Really. With this party this week, I
• 6:23
  mean, and for two weeks he came over, he's painting, he's doing
• 6:26
  all this stuff for party prep because I like, you know, things
• 6:30
  to be perfect. And he came over.
• 6:32
  Anyway, I was like, I owe you a session.
• 6:34
  Let me give you a little session.
• 6:36
  So he's on the red box and I told him, I said, you know, I
• 6:40
  couldn't find any fucking cuffs after the party.
• 6:43
  So we're like hunting for cuffs, couldn't find any.
• 6:45
  So we kind of roughed it. I had one cuff, then I had
• 6:50
  another cuff. So I put one on his hand, one on
• 6:53
  his, one on his wrist, one on his ankle.
• 6:57
  And then I said, well, here, take this the the other cordage
• 7:01
  that we have and it's from the greenhouse project that he did.
• 7:05
  And I said be sure you restrain your hand and your your legs
• 7:09
  because he likes to book up his legs.
• 7:12
  I said, you know, get it tight. I don't, I don't want to see
• 7:15
  your legs fucking move. Well, of course his hand was OK
• 7:19
  because he could put his hand further down on the box.
• 7:21
  Like I wouldn't see it. But his leg, he didn't do it.
• 7:24
  I'm like. You're you were.
• 7:26
  The fucking military. Now come on now.
• 7:28
  What happened to a little special?
• 7:29
  Not, not because I did it over here.
• 7:33
  He's like, oh, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry.
• 7:36
  I'm like, yeah, you're going to be fucking sorry.
• 7:39
  But at some point we put a plastic bag over his head when
• 7:42
  he's getting ready to orgasm and I choked him with my hand and I
• 7:47
  pretty much stopped the oxygen, you know?
• 7:49
  And so he's just like, oh, God, I'm thinking he really enjoyed
• 7:53
  himself. I'm assuming he did.
• 7:55
  Yeah, Yeah, I'm. Sure he would.
• 7:57
  Told told you Pretty pretty. Fucking Clear who enjoyed
• 7:59
  himself. But point being, of all this,
• 8:02
  I'd love to see people play, breath play with me.
• 8:06
  The bag. Cool.
• 8:07
  It's kind of creepy when you don't know the person, but I
• 8:09
  know Charles. But if somebody new and I'm
• 8:12
  putting a plastic bag over their head, I would rather not see
• 8:14
  their face 'cause it's like, yeah, I think of like serial
• 8:21
  killer, you know? I mean, yeah, yeah, right.
• 8:24
  So kidding him. Yeah, but anyway, it was a fun
• 8:27
  time. Now I'm glad y'all had.
• 8:28
  Fun. Speaking of being cathartic and
• 8:31
  therapeutic, this guy that came in, we interviewed him, we
• 8:35
  talked to him about his problems and, and everything in life in
• 8:41
  general and what he expected from an actual session.
• 8:45
  And he had told you and I that he has cancer and he's going
• 8:49
  through chemo treatments and that they had actually removed
• 8:53
  his prostate. And he's like, don't worry, I
• 8:56
  really can't get an erection. And so you and I were like, oh,
• 9:02
  you know, that's pretty terrible.
• 9:04
  You know, we're sorry about that.
• 9:05
  And he's like, oh, you know, it's OK.
• 9:07
  You know, I kind of enjoy the humiliation of it.
• 9:10
  And you and I were very sympathetic with this because
• 9:14
  we've dealt with this type of situation, not specifically with
• 9:18
  that, but other people having their own issues, obviously.
• 9:22
  And so I know you're a very compassionate person and you
• 9:25
  gave him this incredible session.
• 9:28
  Yeah, we did sounding. Tell us about the session
• 9:31
  because I'll then tell the listeners what he did after the
• 9:35
  session and how he wrote me and what he said.
• 9:38
  Well, you know, I just did some simple like impact that was like
• 9:46
  gradual, like I started really soft, gradually worked my way up
• 9:50
  there. And then we tried sounding
• 9:54
  because this session was only an hour, so you'd only can do so
• 9:56
  much. And I did clothes pins on his
• 10:01
  fingers and then sounding and he enjoyed it.
• 10:05
  You know, like though I think we went up to like size four or
• 10:08
  five. So I think it was really good.
• 10:12
  It was a good session. That's awesome.
• 10:14
  Yeah, he got to experience new things and that's always what's
• 10:16
  cool. But yeah, it, it, I asked him
• 10:19
  all specifically. I was like, if I was to give you
• 10:22
  penetrative, you know, like pegging or anything, what would
• 10:25
  happen because you don't have a prostate?
• 10:27
  He says he still enjoys the humiliation of it.
• 10:31
  But there is no prostate. But, you know, women don't have
• 10:34
  a prostate. Yeah.
• 10:35
  But I guess it's because it's connected to the vagina, the
• 10:37
  vaginal wall. So, like, it still feels good.
• 10:40
  Maybe that's why it feels good. I'm not really sure.
• 10:42
  Maybe because anal sex is not the same as sex.
• 10:45
  It's a different feeling, so I'm not quite sure if he would
• 10:49
  actually enjoy it or not 'cause we never actually did it.
• 10:51
  Wouldn't it be interesting to just be a man for a day?
• 10:54
  Oh yeah, You know how much I play with my tank?
• 10:56
  Oh my God. I put it in everything right?
• 10:59
  Jello, The slime. I've been dying.
• 11:02
  I would. Love it an actual vagina though.
• 11:04
  Oh. Well, I knew what my vagina feel
• 11:08
  like, I guess. I guess you know what?
• 11:11
  The gripper, the greens, walls or whatever.
• 11:13
  The Griswolds The Griswolds, the.
• 11:15
  Gripper put put my Wiener in the gripper.
• 11:18
  I didn't care how big my Wiener is, it's going that.
• 11:20
  Sounds like a fucking wrestler's name.
• 11:23
  How big you think your Dick would be if you got a Dick?
• 11:27
  If God bless you with a Dick for a day, how how big you think
• 11:29
  he'd give it to you? Ohh I like a 10 inch Dick.
• 11:33
  I I feel like I have like a 5 1/2.
• 11:35
  I feel like you, I don't feel like I have big Dick energy, you
• 11:37
  know what I mean? Just like I feel like I have
• 11:39
  like a 5 1/2. Yeah, slightly above average or
• 11:42
  slightly below average. Yeah, I'd have a 5 1/2 and just
• 11:45
  be sticking it in weird things. Yeah, I said to you and Abby
• 11:49
  today, I said, you know, girls, 5 inches is average.
• 11:52
  No. And they're like no, no, it's
• 11:54
  not. I'm like, no, you bet.
• 11:57
  You're just fucking guys with. Big ass Dick.
• 11:59
  Well, why are they all here? Like I don't I, you know, I mean
• 12:02
  like only big guys come for us. I guess.
• 12:05
  I don't know. The little ones are scared of
• 12:08
  us. God, you and your loose pussy.
• 12:10
  I'm just kidding. I do not have my loose pants.
• 12:14
  But it's still like, why do they?
• 12:16
  I don't get small Dick people. It's like I check like only see
• 12:20
  in your pants. Yeah, I think we just go after
• 12:22
  big Dick energy. You must.
• 12:25
  Yeah, you must. Do you think that that your
• 12:28
  ex-husband, for example, I mean, he was the primary person, you
• 12:32
  know, in your life, but do you think he was arrogant about the
• 12:36
  size of his cock? He was very shy.
• 12:39
  OK, how about the size of his Dick?
• 12:42
  And you know, he had like slightly above average or
• 12:44
  slightly or right on average, you know, he wasn't a bad size
• 12:48
  Dick and. But to you average is 7 inches.
• 12:53
  OK, but he was 6 1/2. OK.
• 12:55
  So he was like an average. But then once me and him
• 12:58
  separated, it was all uphill from there.
• 13:01
  I went, OK. It was like each time it got
• 13:03
  bigger. And the last one I showed you
• 13:04
  that last one. Remember the one that was scary.
• 13:07
  Yeah, I once I got that big, I was like, I'm not going back
• 13:10
  that big, though. That's crazy.
• 13:11
  I'm good at like 7/7 and 1/2. Yeah, I think my boyfriends 8
• 13:15
  maybe I think it's bigger, I don't know, but I'm like good at
• 13:19
  least 7 1/2. I don't want that.
• 13:23
  Liv is dating my nephew my my my very first oldest nephew.
• 13:28
  So when she tells me things like this, it's kind of.
• 13:31
  Like don't tell. Me.
• 13:35
  Don't tell me about the sad of his Dick.
• 13:36
  I seen it when it was the sad of a little with a Gherkin.
• 13:41
  It was no trust me when he was a kid.
• 13:44
  You know you have children, right?
• 13:46
  When you look at children is sweet and innocent, but you
• 13:52
  happened to change your diapers. I'm kind of going to go with
• 13:55
  yeah, he's going to be a lucky sumbitch when he's old did.
• 13:58
  You feel that way towards him or no?
• 14:00
  Yes. One of my kids are like that.
• 14:02
  My oldest was like, he's always. I was like, yeah, you're well
• 14:05
  and down. It was a joke in our family
• 14:08
  because then my brother, who's his father, said yeah, he didn't
• 14:13
  get that from me. You know you get your penis from
• 14:18
  your mom side of the family anyways.
• 14:20
  Your mom. Okay, well there you.
• 14:22
  Go so yeah, you wouldn't get from your dad isn't.
• 14:26
  That crazy you get the penis size and your hair.
• 14:30
  Your hair lost from your mother. That's wild.
• 14:32
  Isn't that wild? What else?
• 14:34
  What do you get from your father?
• 14:36
  Feet. Nose.
• 14:37
  I. I guess I don't really know.
• 14:39
  I don't know research that part but.
• 14:41
  Yeah, I don't know. You know, to me, I to me, it
• 14:44
  shouldn't be like a divided of of traits like that, but I.
• 14:48
  Guess it's natural. Like that's, that's a natural
• 14:50
  thing. Yeah.
• 14:51
  I can't really, I mean. It could be.
• 14:54
  It's just probably superstition, because who's supposed to know?
• 14:57
  I don't know. We're dominatrixes.
• 14:58
  We don't know who you say. Women don't have Dicks.
• 15:02
  I don't know what if I did? I supplied it.
• 15:06
  I know one woman and she thinks she's a woman, but she's got got
• 15:09
  a Dick, so we'll just stick to that.
• 15:13
  Yeah, yeah, I would like my 5 1/2 Dick fit in all the right
• 15:20
  places. Would you wouldn't like the
• 15:21
  thick as a yeah, soda can? You knew I was going to say
• 15:25
  yeah, yeah. You're like, Oh yeah, I want
• 15:27
  that. Bigger, you know, it's a bit
• 15:29
  small, isn't it? Fuck, that's hilarious.
• 15:34
  Yeah, it won't be small after that.
• 15:36
  Wow. Thick old booger.
• 15:39
  You know, it was really funny that, you know, I used to do the
• 15:43
  show with my former bestie and sad as it may to talk about him,
• 15:48
  I've never brought him up in any episode after this.
• 15:52
  But you know, he dated one of my dear friends and you know, he
• 15:58
  would always brag about his cock like every fucking episode we
• 16:02
  had to hear about the Masters cock.
• 16:05
  And I was just like I said, okay, get a lot of your energy,
• 16:08
  you know, just tell everybody how big it is, you know, and I
• 16:11
  refused to go on his fat to see any pictures of it.
• 16:14
  I didn't want to see it. I don't want to know about it,
• 16:17
  you know, 'cause it's like talking about your brother's
• 16:19
  anatomy. You don't want to talk about it.
• 16:21
  It's disgusting, you know? Yeah.
• 16:23
  And so and I know people would be like, oh Mia, don't be so
• 16:26
  close minded, but I don't want to know about it.
• 16:29
  I mean, we see enough digs, we don't have to see that one.
• 16:32
  Right. And so one of the people that I
• 16:34
  knew he had sex with, they're like, I don't know what he
• 16:36
  always bragged about. It wasn't that big.
• 16:38
  I was like, oh, OK, well, good to know.
• 16:42
  Thanks for telling me that like. OK, well be to be fair, the one
• 16:45
  you're talking about, she likes it girthy.
• 16:48
  Yeah. So it could have been long.
• 16:51
  Yeah. And then not girthy.
• 16:53
  Well, you know, you can check it out on fat and I'm sure it's.
• 16:56
  All over I will go for it. Yeah, you let me know.
• 16:58
  Yeah, I'll. Tell you no, don't let me know.
• 17:00
  I don't want to know. It looks like a carrot.
• 17:03
  I'm just kidding. I don't know.
• 17:04
  I don't even know who we're talking about.
• 17:07
  Oh, wait, no, your ex best friend I know you're talking
• 17:09
  about. OK.
• 17:11
  So jeez, that's crying. Oh my God.
• 17:15
  I've seen a Dick that looks like a carrot though, orange and
• 17:17
  everything. He was a tan guy and his skin on
• 17:20
  his Dick was like like a like a dark pink to orange color and
• 17:25
  very skinny and it started at the base was really big and it
• 17:28
  got really tiny at the top. It looked like a bag on carrot.
• 17:32
  It freaked me out. It was gross.
• 17:33
  They called my besties traffic cone.
• 17:36
  Oh yeah. Yeah, so.
• 17:38
  There might be some traffic cone, maybe the other direction.
• 17:42
  So like, you know, go out. You're all about that big head.
• 17:45
  You always talk, OK? The big head, because you know,
• 17:48
  it's got that that. The Ridge.
• 17:50
  Yeah, the Ridge is what's rubbing on your.
• 17:52
  Your. Ridge is on the inside, yeah.
• 17:53
  So yeah, that if you don't have that, then.
• 17:56
  What are you just? Are you feeling?
• 17:57
  Yeah, you're just. Opening your pussy up, that's
• 18:00
  it. OK.
• 18:01
  Thank you is incredible. Yeah.
• 18:04
  You know, it's like I used to go out with one guy and I really
• 18:06
  liked him. And I always said the
• 18:07
  circumcised penis felt incredible because she felt the
• 18:10
  skin move. Is great.
• 18:12
  Oh, the uncircumcised. Yeah.
• 18:15
  I feel like they have their their, like there's good things
• 18:18
  about it and there's bad things about it.
• 18:20
  So I mean, I feel like they all even out, but I think it's
• 18:22
  really cool that they still have all their nerves.
• 18:24
  So they feel you different. Yeah, they feel it more
• 18:28
  intensely and like then somebody who is circumcised.
• 18:32
  That's cool. Yeah, well, back to the guy with
• 18:38
  cancer. Oh my God, why don't we like?
• 18:40
  This I know, I know. We we go back.
• 18:42
  It's OK. But listen, I'm sure you.
• 18:44
  Remember. Yeah, I do.
• 18:45
  I can go back. They know how they are.
• 18:47
  They're like. So back on topic, ladies, He
• 18:49
  was, Yep, mother digger. But but the guy was so sweet.
• 18:57
  It was so nice. And, you know, I was kind of a
• 19:01
  bitch because when he came in, I was like, look, don't block the
• 19:04
  driveway again. You need to go move it, you
• 19:07
  know? And I was like, damn, after he's
• 19:09
  like, yeah, I'm going through chemo treatment.
• 19:10
  I'm like, God, Mia, you're such a bitch.
• 19:13
  And he was. Really young too.
• 19:15
  Yeah, so sweet. Yeah, I didn't.
• 19:18
  How old was he? He was 33, I think.
• 19:22
  Yeah, 32 I think just. Somewhere in there, yeah.
• 19:25
  Because he said that. But anyway, he ends up writing
• 19:28
  me an e-mail and he's like, Mistress me, I just have to let
• 19:33
  you and Madam Liv know that I ended up getting an erection for
• 19:37
  the first time since I had my prostate taken out.
• 19:42
  That is so nice to hear. Isn't that amazing?
• 19:45
  Because he didn't think he was ever going to get an erection.
• 19:48
  Well, he talked like his doctor says he he had it.
• 19:51
  I'm sure he had doubt in his mind.
• 19:52
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 19:53
  Because, I mean, I'm looking at it.
• 19:56
  I want to get hard, but it's not.
• 19:57
  And that's so sad to think about.
• 19:59
  So sad. Because girls, all you got to do
• 20:01
  is put a little Lube in there and it's going to still work,
• 20:03
  yes, but for guys, you can't do anything about that.
• 20:06
  No, but he said, you know, with proper training now you know, he
• 20:11
  could program his mom. How?
• 20:13
  Do you train that? You know, it's masturbation, you
• 20:16
  know, Yeah, it's, you know, getting it.
• 20:19
  So when he. Goes to therapy.
• 20:20
  He's just masturbating. Yeah, because I asked him,
• 20:23
  believe it or not, that is a therapy at times for certain
• 20:26
  people and certain procedures. I mean, yeah, I work here too.
• 20:29
  He. Says can I masturbate for
• 20:33
  therapy? Sure.
• 20:35
  Go into your masturbation room live.
• 20:38
  Yeah, just like halfway of the day.
• 20:40
  Just let off some steam. Right.
• 20:43
  But anyway, he had said that and I said, so how did you get hard?
• 20:47
  And he says, I was thinking about my session with Madame
• 20:50
  Lev, and that's sweet. That is sweet.
• 20:54
  I thought Bam. My brain is so chemically
• 20:57
  balanced because over here like, oh, he got turned on by.
• 20:59
  Me that is so. Great.
• 21:01
  Is it like, wow, that's hot? Like.
• 21:04
  Well, no, I think it's normal for you to feel that way because
• 21:07
  again, this was a guy who didn't think he was going to have an
• 21:10
  erection. I know, and yeah.
• 21:13
  We both see, you know, the effects of people being on chemo
• 21:17
  and drugs. Yeah, that's, that's a lot.
• 21:20
  That's a lot for the human body to endure.
• 21:23
  I mean, how I see my poor little puppy and see what she goes
• 21:26
  through. But you know, dogs take it like
• 21:28
  champs. Yeah, dogs are different than
• 21:30
  humans. When?
• 21:30
  It comes to different. Yeah.
• 21:32
  They had very few side effects from it.
• 21:34
  So I mean, what for humans to endure?
• 21:36
  And like you said, he's 3233 years old, I think.
• 21:40
  I think that's just. He still looks really great.
• 21:42
  He's a great looking guy, he said.
• 21:45
  He was married so. Great body, too.
• 21:48
  He had a cute little body once he took his clothes off.
• 21:53
  Take your clothes off, boy. Leave that chain on.
• 21:55
  Yeah. Nikki, Nikki.
• 21:58
  Nikki. Nikki Funny, funny story.
• 22:03
  OK, we're talking about impotence dealing with this
• 22:06
  because everybody's just like it's mental.
• 22:09
  It's mental. You know, guys have an issue.
• 22:12
  You know, we don't know. We're not, we're not women, men,
• 22:15
  we don't have to deal with this, like you said, Dick problem.
• 22:18
  So we have sympathy for dudes who just can't get it up, right.
• 22:22
  So years ago, I met this guy and this guy was like a stockbroker,
• 22:27
  attractive, never married, no kids.
• 22:30
  And I think he was like 2728 years old, super nice guy.
• 22:34
  I was 21, in my prime, just lost my virginity, been having sex
• 22:40
  with multiple people just to fucking go crazy.
• 22:44
  Anyway, so I met him and he's like, why don't you come to my
• 22:48
  place? I'll make you dinner.
• 22:50
  We can hang out. You know, I'm like, oh, sure, we
• 22:54
  can do that, You know. Anyway, he told me he's like,
• 22:58
  yeah, you know, I just feel like the intimacy is so much nicer
• 23:02
  and it's quiet. It's just you and I, And I'm
• 23:04
  like, God, how trusting was I that I go to this strange man's
• 23:07
  house. But he had a really nice house,
• 23:11
  you know, he's very pleasant and everything.
• 23:13
  But he told me he had social anxiety with issues, you know,
• 23:17
  outside of the house. And I said, oh, you know, no big
• 23:19
  deal it. Was nice of you.
• 23:21
  Yeah, I was cool with it. And so, you know, after today,
• 23:24
  he was very attractive and we had a very strong mutual
• 23:28
  attraction for one another. So you can imagine the guy's
• 23:32
  like 6 foot dark hair. He kind of looked Italian, which
• 23:36
  was like, yeah. Yeah, you have a thing for
• 23:39
  Italian man I. Have a thing for men in general.
• 23:42
  I find I will find something attractive with a man.
• 23:45
  As long as he's clean, he smells good.
• 23:48
  Yeah, You know, mine's a lot of bad body hair, you know.
• 23:51
  But anyhow. I like body hair.
• 23:54
  I do too, as long as it's groomed.
• 23:56
  I don't like the yeah, you know, the overgrowth on the penis.
• 24:00
  You know, I don't like hairy balls.
• 24:01
  I don't like wiry hair. Just saying, all right, I'm just
• 24:04
  saying like chest hair, chest hair.
• 24:06
  I love me to rub me some fingers through some chest hair.
• 24:09
  I'm OK with that. Yeah, I'm with you.
• 24:13
  Check out Andy Garcia and Godfather 3.
• 24:16
  Holy shit he had fucking God gorgeous fucking Italian and he
• 24:20
  had like black body hair and he put on a red satin robe.
• 24:26
  Then he went to his dining room and shot 2 guys in the fucking
• 24:28
  head. That was awesome.
• 24:31
  He was sexy as fuck. I was.
• 24:32
  Like. Oh yeah.
• 24:34
  Anyway, so back to the guy with the impotence problem.
• 24:41
  Poor. Guys.
• 24:42
  Shit. So anyway, so after dinner he's
• 24:46
  like, you want to go back to my bedroom?
• 24:47
  And I'm like, oh, absolutely. So I just happen to have
• 24:51
  something sexy on under my clothes.
• 24:53
  What? What can I do, you know?
• 24:57
  I just sleep on it, yeah. So totally.
• 25:01
  So we got back and we're in his bed and he's like, look, I have
• 25:06
  to be honest with you. I talked to you about my social
• 25:08
  anxiety. He's like, but I have an issue
• 25:13
  with getting an erection. He's like, I, I haven't been
• 25:16
  able to get an erection in three years.
• 25:20
  I'm like, oh, so well, don't worry about it.
• 25:23
  Don't even think about it. It's not important.
• 25:27
  He's like, really, I'm like I said, we can make out.
• 25:32
  We can do other things. I said right now I'm going to
• 25:36
  sit on your Dick and you know, it's not going to be inside of
• 25:40
  me and I'm just going to straddle you and I'm going to
• 25:42
  make out with you and I'll have a great time with you.
• 25:45
  And he's like, oh, OK, he didn't know how to handle that.
• 25:51
  So here I was in the lingerie thing.
• 25:54
  He's butt ass naked because I'm like, take your clothes off, get
• 25:57
  in bed. You know, let's make fun.
• 25:59
  Let's have some fun with this shit.
• 26:00
  You know, anywho, we're making out and it's really heated
• 26:05
  passion, just big make out session and he could kiss.
• 26:09
  I could kiss. It was great.
• 26:10
  A lot of tongue and we're just hands all over, grabs my
• 26:14
  titties. Boom, boom, boom.
• 26:15
  Next thing I know I said I didn't think you could get an
• 26:20
  erection. What is that?
• 26:22
  He's like, holy shit, I didn't know that could happen again.
• 26:27
  Well, good for him. Good for him.
• 26:29
  I'm glad that you were able to get in there.
• 26:31
  So I just that's a. Good notch on your belt.
• 26:34
  It's notch on my belt. Three years of impotence, yes.
• 26:37
  I just happen to have a condom on me, so slip that condom on.
• 26:40
  Just rode that thing to town and said boom, we're going.
• 26:43
  To get me one like that, give me a notch.
• 26:45
  Yeah, you'll get you a notch. Come on now.
• 26:50
  I've got a lot of notches. It's all marked off in the last
• 26:53
  three months. Instead of putting a notch in my
• 26:56
  headboard, I just put it in my purse.
• 26:58
  Like mine's one kind of boot notch.
• 27:01
  That's what he anyway. It was a fun time.
• 27:05
  He's a great guy, so. Yeah, and he said he was good
• 27:08
  looking, so yeah, even better. Fuck yeah, now you wouldn't talk
• 27:14
  about the party. Talk about the party.
• 27:17
  Yeah, yeah. We're talking about the party.
• 27:19
  Yeah, we're talking about, you know, impotence.
• 27:21
  So let's just jumped up. Funny topic.
• 27:25
  The party from my angle, it was from the flower.
• 27:31
  Well, yeah, you fell down the steps.
• 27:33
  That was an issue. I know every time I go down the
• 27:35
  stairs now I'm like this is where I fell.
• 27:37
  You know, I've been very fortunate as a spiral staircase.
• 27:40
  I know how easy it is. But you know, people think that
• 27:44
  it's cool to have given you the one side when you're wearing
• 27:47
  heels. And you're, he's a big guy, too.
• 27:50
  I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah.
• 27:52
  And he was like, do you got it? And I was like, yeah, right.
• 27:54
  Whenever I fell. Oh gosh.
• 27:56
  So that was like 6 steps. That's crazy.
• 27:59
  Yeah, it was pretty high up there.
• 28:01
  And you know, it's, it's honestly, I wonder that you
• 28:03
  didn't break your chin or something.
• 28:04
  I'm. Surprised I break my leg.
• 28:06
  I didn't even sprain my leg, I just have a bruise on it.
• 28:08
  Because Barbie's like man, she like, belly flopped on the
• 28:11
  floor. It was bad.
• 28:13
  I did. I was like holy shit I wish I
• 28:16
  could have seen. Yeah, I hit my chin.
• 28:18
  I I hurt my wrist and then I hit, I hurt my ankle.
• 28:22
  Yeah. Oh, I saw your ankle.
• 28:23
  That's that's not pretty, but. Well, it's actually gotten
• 28:26
  better. I don't know.
• 28:27
  I thought it was gonna be way worse.
• 28:29
  No, you're tough. Yeah.
• 28:33
  So I sit right by the gate and I saw pretty much all the sex
• 28:40
  possible in the tent. They use the fucking machine.
• 28:45
  There was one chick and it was kind of comedic because she's a
• 28:50
  friend and she's really cool. Super nice lady.
• 28:54
  But. Every time somebody come up to
• 28:57
  me and they're like, is Red Shirt still in there?
• 28:59
  She's still fucking. I'm like, yeah, I think that's
• 29:02
  number two or three or four maybe.
• 29:07
  They're the one that came out and with that other guy was
• 29:10
  like, I had to give her a break. Yes.
• 29:12
  So that was the same girl. Yes, OK.
• 29:14
  Yeah, I've seen her have sex with quite a few of them.
• 29:16
  Yeah, and she goes to give me a hug because she kept her shirt
• 29:19
  on with a lot of the set, with a lot of the sacks and and she
• 29:23
  comes to me and she's like, oh, me, I was going to give you a
• 29:25
  hug, but I got I, I kind of squirted all over my blouse
• 29:29
  here. And I'm like, it's OK.
• 29:33
  I gave her a little hug. I'm like, oh, cold wetness on my
• 29:37
  blouse right now. It was fun watching her though,
• 29:43
  like there was this one guy who had a great ass and she did
• 29:47
  missionary so he was on top and man oh man, we're just watching
• 29:50
  him go to town. You know why he has a great ass?
• 29:53
  Because he's a very athletic in what he does.
• 29:57
  What did he do? I'll tell you after the podcast.
• 29:59
  OK. If I, if I told you, I'd totally
• 30:04
  give it away to everybody. Couldn't do it.
• 30:06
  Oh, OK. Because a lot of people listen.
• 30:08
  I see. But yeah, hot fucking ass on
• 30:10
  him. Yeah, he had tattoos.
• 30:13
  Oh yeah, it was nice. Yeah, I was like wow, that ass.
• 30:16
  Yeah. So literally all of us came in
• 30:18
  just to watch his ass. Yeah, it was like 4 people.
• 30:22
  Damn. And it was already an old guy
• 30:23
  already in there. So got me that one guy, then 2
• 30:27
  girls. Yeah.
• 30:29
  Dog came in there watching that ass go to town.
• 30:32
  I was like back on keep going shit.
• 30:34
  My good friend Miss Master Bob, he was the older gentleman,
• 30:38
  Master Bob. I like that man.
• 30:42
  You like that, Master Bob? Master, master.
• 30:46
  Bob, it's simple, it's easy, and he is easy.
• 30:50
  He is. He is a cool fucking guy.
• 30:53
  He brought the two women with him.
• 30:55
  He brought the white chick and that's his girlfriend.
• 30:59
  OK, white chick. You know how many white chicks
• 31:01
  were there? Well, they they were sitting,
• 31:03
  all three of them together. He was the old white gentleman
• 31:06
  Tamal the one with. The blue outfit on the leash.
• 31:08
  Yes, yes, I liked her. She was cute, awesome, and I
• 31:10
  loved the leash. That he wasn't allowed to leave
• 31:12
  her, Yes. Or she wasn't allowed to leave
• 31:14
  him. Yes, and then the black woman
• 31:17
  that was with him, that's his wife.
• 31:18
  Oh, OK. So they have this throuple and
• 31:23
  they're fucking awesome. So the white chick is as
• 31:27
  submissive his wife. I think it's just like a mutual
• 31:32
  thing. I don't think she's really into
• 31:34
  BDSM, but she loves to come to the parties and they're very
• 31:38
  dear friends of mine. I just adore them all.
• 31:40
  They're very kind people. They really are super cool and
• 31:44
  this was the first. Part Yeah, they were nice.
• 31:46
  Yeah, they're really cool people.
• 31:49
  I can't, you know, regardless of how active I was, I kind of
• 31:51
  stayed to myself. You did.
• 31:54
  Every now and then you're like, I'm bored.
• 31:56
  I was like, fuck me, I think you'd be bored.
• 31:59
  I said go watch people fuck in the tent.
• 32:01
  OK, that one I felt weird because one time I was like, I
• 32:04
  saw some of them through the window and I like lifted the
• 32:07
  tent over so I could see better and I was like, this feels a
• 32:09
  little creepy. I was like.
• 32:11
  You're scared. I saw you do that.
• 32:15
  They don't give a shit. I know I feel I was.
• 32:18
  Like what am I doing? Oh my God, kind of my person in
• 32:24
  mind. But they.
• 32:25
  Looking good over there. They were looking fabulous.
• 32:28
  Some of them were just giving blowjobs and they kind of like
• 32:31
  lifted up and look back and they're like, I was like, shut
• 32:34
  up, get back. Then you saw our two special
• 32:37
  friends use the new machine that we got, the tremor, and they
• 32:42
  fucking rode that home and you had to sling bodily fluid over
• 32:46
  your shoulder. Yeah, I was catching it.
• 32:48
  Oh my God. Yeah, I was like, is squirt me
• 32:50
  in the face and like catch it in your mouth.
• 32:52
  I said no. I don't want to do that.
• 32:56
  Now she has a nice vagina but warm wet liquid being squirt on
• 32:59
  your face. It just, I don't know, I've
• 33:01
  never had that have them before, so I wasn't ready.
• 33:03
  That's like a a vaginal bukaki, you know, instead of cum on your
• 33:08
  face, it's fucking pussy juice. Well, it smelled great.
• 33:12
  I kept telling her. I was like, your pussy juice
• 33:13
  smells great. You know, I'm glad it wasn't
• 33:16
  squirting on me smelling weird, but it was.
• 33:17
  It was great. Yeah, she's gorgeous.
• 33:19
  Fucking no. But there there's nothing better
• 33:21
  than watching 2 hot chicks on a fucking Sibian.
• 33:24
  Basically, yeah. Yeah.
• 33:27
  They were badass, honestly. Yeah, it was cool.
• 33:30
  I was right there where the pussies were at.
• 33:32
  This was. Called Love Bots the trimmer and
• 33:37
  everybody seemed to enjoy it. Yeah, yeah, I enjoyed it.
• 33:42
  How did it feel? Felt like a robotic Dick I
• 33:47
  guess. Robotic Dick.
• 33:49
  Yeah, like, you know, like Dick has like a it forms to you
• 33:51
  there. It was like very hard.
• 33:53
  So it didn't like form. I wish it would like be more
• 33:56
  wiggly. But yeah, it was nice.
• 33:58
  Vibrates and then goes in and out.
• 34:01
  OK, yeah, the way Charles did it, I said was live on it.
• 34:05
  And he says, yeah, it was kind of for science.
• 34:08
  And I was like, shut the fuck up.
• 34:10
  No, I got on it because I wanted to get on it.
• 34:12
  What are you talking about? I didn't do that for science.
• 34:14
  I mean, I guess scientifically I wanted to see if it felt great.
• 34:19
  Everybody sees it. All like, he's like, it was
• 34:21
  tasteful. I didn't see anything.
• 34:22
  Oh, yeah, no, I just pulled everything to the side.
• 34:25
  Nobody saw anything. But yeah, I wanted to get on it.
• 34:28
  Yeah, So I did. And if anybody was to see would
• 34:31
  have been just Charles because the way that I was angled.
• 34:33
  But yeah, regardless of anybody who saw it, I got to do it and
• 34:37
  it was fun and he controlled it. So I think it would be cool to
• 34:41
  see this on video and actually watch.
• 34:43
  She already tried it, just saying.
• 34:46
  Oh. What?
• 34:47
  Seeing you or somebody in general use the tremor, yes.
• 34:52
  You should get that one girl that wrote it 'cause she was
• 34:55
  fuck, she like broke the handle and everything.
• 34:57
  She was going hard on it. She fucking broke the.
• 35:00
  Handle I couldn't. Get I had to stay still.
• 35:03
  I I couldn't, I couldn't go up and down on top of it for some
• 35:05
  reason. It was just like, it was like
• 35:07
  too much for me, I guess. Well, not like it was too big.
• 35:09
  It was just too much. Yeah, because it was hard and
• 35:12
  sticking in there. Well, my friend who broke the
• 35:14
  handle, I saw her get fucked with the fucking machine.
• 35:18
  And what you should do is try the fucking machine because
• 35:21
  they're Dicks to me. They feel very lifelike.
• 35:26
  Like I used one before and I was like, man, and we have two
• 35:29
  fucking machines. I haven't used both angles.
• 35:33
  I haven't used the black, but I've used the other.
• 35:36
  Freaking Charles. Use the black one.
• 35:37
  Yeah, I just be thinking about him like.
• 35:39
  Don't use the black one. He was like, yeah, I was in my
• 35:44
  ass and I was, I was letting all the air out for like 2 days.
• 35:55
  Yeah. You know, it's so different.
• 35:57
  Because men's assholes. There's so much different than
• 36:01
  the vagina. I mean, yeah, there's a into the
• 36:05
  asshole, there's a mouth you. Know yeah, that's funny.
• 36:08
  I was going to say you could take the the fucking machine
• 36:11
  home and use it with your bullfrond.
• 36:15
  Don't tempt me. I know.
• 36:19
  Could you imagine carrying that night?
• 36:22
  At the apartment, Yeah. Go up the stairs.
• 36:25
  Yeah, Forget the elevator. And somebody else gets in.
• 36:27
  You're like, hi. See, I used to have the bag for
• 36:31
  it, but the bag, anyone who's ordered it has seen the fucking
• 36:34
  bag. It's like a wreck We.
• 36:36
  Can take the Dick off it, nobody would know what it was.
• 36:38
  I don't know. It made me feel better.
• 36:40
  Yeah, I don't know. I would probably put it like in
• 36:43
  a in a bag of some sort, you know?
• 36:46
  Like a. Even like a gift bag something
• 36:48
  or a duffel. Bag, duffel bag.
• 36:50
  That's what I was trying to think of, yeah.
• 36:51
  You know, protected but. Although you're about to stay
• 36:54
  professional, that sounds like somebody's going to be dying.
• 36:57
  If you put in a duffel bag, your murder tools, murder that pussy.
• 37:02
  Do you know when I've ever done outcall?
• 37:04
  I swear, the shit that I pull, you know, the outcall bag, it's
• 37:08
  like, it's like, what are we like, you know, dungeon on
• 37:11
  wheels? Like I said, I said this the
• 37:13
  other day. It's like you can only carry so
• 37:16
  much shit with you, but could you imagine taking the fucking
• 37:19
  machine to an alcohol like somebody home?
• 37:21
  I'm going to bring the his Smith.
• 37:23
  That's what it's called. That one you're.
• 37:24
  Not supposed to plan your your your times though.
• 37:27
  No, you're not, so that. 'D be plan to.
• 37:31
  I mean, you kind of have to because sometimes they'll be
• 37:33
  like, oh, call yellow on something that you wasn't really
• 37:36
  prepared for them to call yellow on.
• 37:37
  You got to switch up the whole thing.
• 37:39
  So you kind of got to improv a lot of times.
• 37:42
  You just got to be good at it. You do, don't you?
• 37:44
  Remember I always said when you start to do a session, never
• 37:48
  plan it all out in your mind because it never works out the
• 37:51
  way it's supposed to in your mind.
• 37:52
  And then you mess it up because you're like, God Dang, that was
• 37:55
  supposed to go. This way, yeah.
• 37:57
  And so you just got to let it happen.
• 37:59
  So I think those are good words to to end this on.
• 38:02
  You just got to let it happen. You just.
• 38:04
  Got to let it happen. Yellow.
• 38:08
  Don't call yellow. No Yolo ohh.
• 38:11
  Yolo. OK like you only live once.
• 38:13
  Ohh, just let it happen. OK, alright, so until then, this
• 38:19
  has been the latest episode of. Call me Mistress.