Latest / Reformed Thinking / Fighting for the Flock Without Fighting the Flock: Why Elders Must Be Not Quarrelsome
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to reformed thinking. I'm really glad you're here
- 0:02today. We're doing something that it
- 0:05might feel a bit microscopic, but I think if we're honest, it
- 0:09addresses this massive fracture we're all seeing.
- 0:12Oh, for sure. You see in the culture and well,
- 0:15unfortunately see it inside the church too.
- 0:16We usually spend our time here on the really big systems, you
- 0:20know, covenant theology, soteriology, the attributes of
- 0:23God. But today we're taking a whole
- 0:25stack of commentaries, lexicons, theological journals, and we're
- 0:30aiming all that firepower at just two words in the New
- 0:33Testament. 2 words that you could argue serve as the primary
- 0:37immune system for the local church.
- 0:38We're looking at First Timothy chapter 3, specifically verse 3,
- 0:41and the qualification for an elder to be not quarrelsome.
- 0:45Not quarrelsome. Yeah.
- 0:46And on the surface, that sounds like I don't know a suggestion
- 0:50for etiquette. Right, like something from a
- 0:52finishing school. Exactly.
- 0:53It just sounds like Paul is saying hey, play nice.
- 0:56But the sources we've been digging into suggest something
- 0:59much, much more serious is going on here.
- 1:01It's a foundational issue. It is, and we're living in a
- 1:03very specific cultural moment. I was struck by how one of the
- 1:08articles in our stack refers to it.
- 1:10It calls it the Outrage Industrial Complex.
- 1:13That is such a fitting label, isn't it?
- 1:15We function in this digital environment where, I mean, the
- 1:18algorithms are literally built to monetize hostility.
- 1:21They are. If you look at how social media
- 1:23works, anger is the currency. It drives engagement.
- 1:27It keeps eyeballs on the screen. So we're just constantly being
- 1:30fed reasons to be furious. And that absolutely spills over
- 1:35into how we view leadership. I mean, I catch myself doing
- 1:38this. I'll see someone on a screen who
- 1:40is loud, who is just blasting the opposition, who is owning
- 1:44the other side, and my first instinct is to think, now that's
- 1:48a strong leader. That's someone with a backbone.
- 1:50It's the spirit of the age. We confuse volume with virtue.
- 1:54We mistake, you know, a sharp tongue for a strong spine.
- 1:58And the problem, as our sources really highlight, is that the
- 2:00church isn't hermetically sealed off from the world.
- 2:02We're breathing that same air. So congregations start to
- 2:06resemble, well, political factions more than households of
- 2:09faith. We start wanting our elders to
- 2:11be St. fighters because we feel like the world is fighting us.
- 2:14That's the. Tension right there.
- 2:16We feel the pressure of a hostile culture, so we want a
- 2:19hostile leader to punch back. But the whole premise of this
- 2:23deep dive today is that this biblical requirement to be not
- 2:27quarrelsome, it's not about having good manners, not at all.
- 2:30It's a divine safeguard. It's a test of whether a man
- 2:33actually understands the true nature of spiritual warfare.
- 2:36It separates the man who fights the enemy from the man who
- 2:39brings a war into the household of God to fight his brothers.
- 2:42And that distinction, that is everything.
- 2:45OK, so let's get into the text then.
- 2:47We're in First Timothy 3. This is the list of
- 2:49qualifications for an overseer. It's a familiar list for a lot
- 2:52of us. Husband of one wife, silver
- 2:54minded, self controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to
- 2:58teach and then we land on this negative prohibition.
- 3:00And to really feel the weight of this, we have to look at the
- 3:03Greek. The word Paul uses here is a
- 3:05machos. A machos OK help us take that
- 3:07apart. So it's a compound word.
- 3:09The root is machi. That word means a battle.
- 3:12It can refer to physical combat, a fight, a war.
- 3:16It's a really violent, visceral word.
- 3:20It's the same root that James uses in Chapter 4 when he asks
- 3:23what causes fights and quarrels among you.
- 3:25He's using military language. So the root is literally war.
- 3:28Correct. And then you have what's called
- 3:30the alpha primitive at the front, the letter alpha, which
- 3:34acts as a negator. It means not, so if you
- 3:37translate it strictly literal, it means not a fighter.
- 3:40Not a fighter. OK, now I have to play the
- 3:43skeptic here for a second. Go for it because I can just
- 3:45hear a listener saying wait a minute, I thought the Christian
- 3:49life was a fight. We're told to fight the good
- 3:51fight of faith. We're told to put on the full
- 3:53armor of God. So if an Elser is not a fighter,
- 3:57does that mean he's a pacifist? Does he just roll over when
- 4:00Heresy comes knocking at the door?
- 4:01And that is the critical nuance. It's a great question.
- 4:04In secular Greek literature, so outside the New Testament, A
- 4:07machos was sometimes used to describe a soldier who was
- 4:11invincible. It meant he was a man you
- 4:13couldn't fight because he was so skilled he would just destroy
- 4:15you. But in the New Testament, the
- 4:18usage shifts. It moves from describing a
- 4:20military skill to describing a relational disposition.
- 4:24So it's not about ability, it's about temperament.
- 4:26Exactly. It's not that the man is
- 4:28incapable of fighting, it is that he refuses to be at war
- 4:32with the Brethren. He refuses to carry a warring
- 4:35spirit into the family room. That's a perfect way to put it.
- 4:38He knows where the battlefield is and he knows it is not the
- 4:41elder meeting. He knows it is not the foyer on
- 4:44Sunday morning. Now, there's an observation in
- 4:46the commentaries about the placement of this word in First
- 4:48Timothy 3, and I have to say this really struck me.
- 4:51It sits in a very specific progression.
- 4:54Oh, it does. One scholar calls it a
- 4:56terrifying rogression of the loss of control.
- 4:59If you look at the three negatives in a row first you get
- 5:02my peritinen. That translates to not a
- 5:06drunkard or, more literally, not lingering by wine.
- 5:10So that's a loss of chemical sobriety.
- 5:12OK, so number one is the drunkard.
- 5:13Immediately following that is mapleuctin, which means not a
- 5:17striker. This refers to physical
- 5:19violence, someone who loses physical control and throws a
- 5:22punch. And right next to not a striker
- 5:26sits our word. A machos not quarrelsome.
- 5:30That that is, that's an uncomfortable grouping.
- 5:32It should be. It really should be because if a
- 5:35pastor showed up to the pulpit drunk, I mean, he would be
- 5:38removed immediately. No question.
- 5:40If an elder punched a Deacon in the nose during a finance
- 5:43meeting, he would be disqualified before he even left
- 5:46the room. But Paul places the quarrelsome
- 5:48man in the exact same category. The Holy Spirit is showing us
- 5:51something here. He's showing us that a
- 5:53quarrelsome spirit is a form of intoxication.
- 5:56The quarrelsome man is drunk on his own opinion, drunk on his.
- 5:58Opinion. I like that.
- 5:59He's inebriated by his own sense of rightness, and it's also a
- 6:02form of violence. He might not be striking you
- 6:05with his first like the Pluckton, but he is striking you
- 6:07with his words. He has lost control of his
- 6:10temper and his tongue, just as much as the drunkard has lost
- 6:13control of his faculties. That really puts a different
- 6:16spin on the guy who is, you know, just passionate, right?
- 6:19We often excuse sharp elbows and biting sarcasm.
- 6:22A zeal, but the text here seems to label it as a lack of
- 6:27self-control. A lack of self mastery.
- 6:29And to heighten the contrast even more, look at the positive
- 6:34virtue Paul pairs this with. He puts a Machos right next to
- 6:38FBI. Which is usually translated as
- 6:40gentle. Gentle or yielding, the
- 6:43distinction is really helpful here.
- 6:45So FBI key is the positive trait.
- 6:47It means waving your rights for the sake of mercy.
- 6:50It's the spirit that says, look, I have the right to win this
- 6:52argument or to demand to this preference, but I am going to
- 6:55yield for the sake of the relationship.
- 6:57OK. A Macho's then is the negative
- 6:59prohibition. Yeah, it is the restraint
- 7:01against asserting your rights through conflict.
- 7:04So if I'm hearing you right, EPIAC E is kind of like the gas
- 7:07pedal of Mercy, Yeah, and a Macho's is the brake pedal on
- 7:10aggression. That's a great analogy.
- 7:12I like that a lot, and we just need to be crystal clear.
- 7:15This does not mean the man is weak.
- 7:17It does not mean he lacks conviction.
- 7:18It means he possesses force, but he refuses to deploy it in petty
- 7:23squabbles. He refuses to weaponize his
- 7:25authority against the flock he's supposed to protect.
- 7:28OK, this brings us to the theology beneath the behavior,
- 7:32Because in our tradition, you know, we don't just want to
- 7:35staple a list of rules to the wall.
- 7:37We won't understand the why, of course, and our sources draw
- 7:40Direct Line between this qualification and the doctrine
- 7:44of union with Christ. This is so central to Reformed
- 7:47ethics. We're not just trying to be
- 7:48better people. We are acting out of a new
- 7:51identity. Second, Peter 1.4 says we are
- 7:54partakers of the divine nature. We are united to Christ.
- 7:57He is the head, we are the body. And Christ is the Prince of
- 8:00Peace. Right.
- 8:01So if an elder is truly united to the Prince of Peace, then a
- 8:05quarrelsome spirit becomes an ontological contradiction.
- 8:08An ontological contradiction? That's a heavy phrase.
- 8:10It is. It means it denies the reality
- 8:12of who he is. It's not just a personality
- 8:14quirk, you know, like having a bad sense of humor or something.
- 8:17If he's quarrelsome, he is acting in direct opposition to
- 8:19the very nature of the head to whom he is united.
- 8:22So if the head is peace, the hand can't be making a fist to
- 8:25punch the face. That's the picture, and this
- 8:27leads us right into the Westminster Confession of Faith
- 8:30Chapter 26 of the Communion of Saints.
- 8:33I've got that text phrase right here.
- 8:35It says that Saints are united to Jesus Christ their head, and
- 8:39because of that they are united to one another in love.
- 8:43Then it says, we're obliged to the performance of such duties,
- 8:46public and private, as do conduce to their mutual good.
- 8:50Mutual good. That phrase right there is the
- 8:52diagnostic test for the quarrelsome man.
- 8:55Does he use his gifts for the mutual good of the body?
- 8:59And usually, no. I mean, if you've ever been in a
- 9:01meeting with a truly quarrelsome person, they use their gifts,
- 9:05their intellect, their memory, their theology.
- 9:07They use them to dominate. To win.
- 9:09They use them to win. A quarrelsome elder severs the
- 9:12ligaments of the body of Christ. Instead of using his strength to
- 9:15build up the communion of Saints, he tears at the very
- 9:17fabric of that communion. He makes the body dysfunctional.
- 9:21It's like an autoimmune disease. The body starts turning on
- 9:23itself. It is, and This is why the
- 9:25Puritans took this so seriously. John Owen in his work on the
- 9:29mortification of sin, he just diagnosis the root of this
- 9:33perfectly. He argues that external
- 9:35quarreling is almost always a symptom of internal, unmortified
- 9:38pride. Pride.
- 9:40It seems to be the root of almost everything when you dig
- 9:42down far enough. Doesn't.
- 9:43It, it really is, Owen would say, that men fight because they
- 9:47worship their own intellect. They desire supremacy.
- 9:49They want to be the king of the theological hill.
- 9:52So the remedy isn't just to, you know, close your mouth, you can
- 9:56bite your tongue and still be seething with a quarrelsome
- 9:59spirit on the inside. The remedy is killing sin
- 10:03through the spirit. The elder has to learn to
- 10:05distinguish between the good fight of faith, which is
- 10:08fighting against heresy and the world, and carnal striving about
- 10:13words, which is fighting against his brothers.
- 10:16And that distinction is so difficult for some men.
- 10:18They seem to think every disagreement is a heresy trial.
- 10:20Yes, if you disagree on the color of the carpet in the
- 10:23sanctuary or the order of the service, they treat it like
- 10:26you're denying the Trinity. That's where we need the law.
- 10:29We need the law to act as a mirror to expose what's really
- 10:32going on in the heart. James 4.1 asks What causes
- 10:36quarrels and what causes fights among you?
- 10:39Is it not this that your passions are at war within you?
- 10:42So it's an inside job. It's always an inside job.
- 10:45The notes that we have here identify a few specific
- 10:48idolatries that drive this kind of behavior.
- 10:50The first one is the idolatry of Reputation.
- 10:53OK, the idolatry of reputation. This is the belief that my
- 10:56worth, my value, is tied to winning the debate.
- 10:58If I lose the argument, I lose my standing.
- 11:01I lose my value in the eyes of others.
- 11:03So I fight it to the death, not for the truth, but for my ego.
- 11:07It's a huge one for leaders. It feels like death to admit you
- 11:10were wrong in front of the people you're supposed to be
- 11:11leading. It does.
- 11:13Then there's another one, the idolatry of self righteousness.
- 11:16This is where you use theology as a weapon of dominance.
- 11:19But the one that really stood out to me in the sources, it's
- 11:22the sin of impatience. One author refers to the
- 11:25quarrelsome man as a functional atheist.
- 11:27Wow, that is a jarring label. Yeah, a functional atheist.
- 11:30You have to explain that. It sounds extreme, I know, but
- 11:33just think about the logic for a second.
- 11:35The quarrelsome man is usually incredibly impatient.
- 11:38He needs to fix you right now. He needs to win the argument
- 11:40right now. OK, Why?
- 11:42Because deep down he doesn't actually believe the Holy Spirit
- 11:46is capable of doing his job. He acts as if unless he
- 11:50aggressively intervenes and forces his opinion on you, God
- 11:53can't convict you. So he's stepping in to do the
- 11:56Spirit's work because he thinks the Spirit is too slow or too
- 11:59incompetent. He's playing God.
- 12:00He doesn't trust the Spirit to work in the other person's
- 12:03heart, in God's timing. So he forces the issue with
- 12:06anger and pressure, and in that moment he is living as if God
- 12:09either doesn't exist or isn't competent.
- 12:12That's functional atheism. Like it cuts deep, it really
- 12:14does. So if the diagnosis is pride,
- 12:17idolatry, and this this lack of faith in the Spirit, what's the
- 12:22remedy? How does the gospel actually fix
- 12:24a brawling heart? Well, we have to look to the
- 12:26pattern of Christ first. Peter 2.23 describes Jesus right
- 12:31in the heat of conflict. It says when he was reviled, he
- 12:36did not revile in return. When he suffered, he did not
- 12:39threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who
- 12:42judges justly. Just think about the restraint
- 12:45that represents Jesus had the power to end those arguments
- 12:48instantly. Absolutely.
- 12:49He could have called down fire from heaven.
- 12:51He could have silenced them with a single word.
- 12:53But he didn't. He allowed himself to be LED
- 12:56like a lamb to the slaughter. Why?
- 12:58Because he was entrusting himself to the father.
- 13:00He did not need to vindicate himself because he knew who he
- 13:03was. And that's the connection for
- 13:05us. It's the classic indicative
- 13:07imperative dynamic, like we talk about so much because we are
- 13:10justified by Christ. That is the indicative, the
- 13:12settled fact we do not need to justify ourselves in every
- 13:16single argument. We're already approved.
- 13:17So I can lose the argument and still be safe.
- 13:20You can be misunderstood and still be secure.
- 13:22That reality breaks the power of pride.
- 13:24We don't have to fight because we don't need to fight to prove
- 13:27our worth anymore. Christ has already done that.
- 13:29OK. I want to shift gears a little
- 13:31bit to the practical side of this.
- 13:33We've established the theology, but whenever we talk about being
- 13:37not quarrelsome, there's always a risk, right?
- 13:39We can swing the pendulum too far the other way.
- 13:41We always tend to overcorrect, don't we?
- 13:43We do, and the sources layout what they call the two ditches
- 13:46of eldership. Ditch #1 is what they call
- 13:49pragmatic peace. Or more bluntly, cowardice.
- 13:52Oh. Yes, this is the piece at any
- 13:56price model, right? This is the elder who treats
- 13:59conflict as the ultimate evil. He thinks his primary job is
- 14:02just to keep everyone happy, keep the boat steady.
- 14:05So he never confronts, he never corrects, he never says anything
- 14:10difficult. And it can look like gentleness
- 14:11from a distance. People might say, oh, he's such
- 14:13a nice guy. He never argues with anyone.
- 14:15But our sources argue, and I think rightly, that this is
- 14:17actually cruelty disguised as kindness.
- 14:20If you refuse to confront error, you are surrendering the flock
- 14:23to wolves. Titus 1.9 is clear.
- 14:26An elder must be able to refute those who contradict sound
- 14:29doctrine. If a wolf comes in teaching
- 14:31heresy, or if there's serious sin festering in the
- 14:34congregation, and the elder says nothing because he wants peace,
- 14:38he's negligent. He's the hired hand who runs
- 14:40away when the wolf comes. Exactly right.
- 14:42That's ditch 1. OK, so ditch #2 is the warrior
- 14:45or the brawler. This is the ditch of carnality.
- 14:49This is the man who confuses combativeness with faithfulness.
- 14:53He honestly thinks that the more he fights, the more faithful
- 14:56he's being. He interprets every single
- 14:58disagreement as a holy war that must be won.
- 15:01He uses the language of discernment to mask what is
- 15:04really just bitterness or pride. Yes.
- 15:06And it creates a culture of fear.
- 15:08People become afraid to speak up.
- 15:10They're afraid to ask questions because they know he'll snap at
- 15:12them or misrepresent their position.
- 15:14And often this whole posture arises from a desire to be seen
- 15:18as the strongman. Watchdog.
- 15:21The watchdog, he wants that reputation.
- 15:23So we have the coward on one side and the brawler on the
- 15:25other. What's the middle path?
- 15:26The middle path is the shepherd. The the phrase used in the
- 15:29material is just excellent. It says the goal is fighting for
- 15:33the flock without fighting with the flock.
- 15:36Fighting for the flock without fighting with the flock.
- 15:39Is that again? Fighting for the flock without
- 15:42fighting with the flock. Yeah, it's courage.
- 15:44Join to gentleness. The elder must be able to say no
- 15:47to error. He has to protect the sheep.
- 15:50But he does it without an error of the heart, right?
- 15:53He doesn't enjoy the fight. He doesn't destroy the sheep in
- 15:56the process of trying to protect them.
- 15:58Let's get really granular with this.
- 16:00Suppose I'm on a search committee for a new pastor, or
- 16:04I'm a church member trying to discern if a man is qualified
- 16:07for eldership. How do I spot the quarrelsome
- 16:10man? Because they can be very
- 16:12charming. Oh, they can't.
- 16:14They can be incredibly articulate.
- 16:15The source material gives us a pretty helpful diagnostic
- 16:18checklist. The first mark to look for is
- 16:21escalation. A quarrelsome man raises the
- 16:24temperature of a room. A godly elder lowers it.
- 16:28When a disagreement happens, watch him.
- 16:30Does he interrupt constantly? Does he react instantly without
- 16:33thinking? Does he make these huge
- 16:35universal claims like you always do this or this is exactly what
- 16:38the liberals do? He takes a small spark, and he's
- 16:41determined to turn it into a bonfire.
- 16:43OK, so watch the temperature that's.
- 16:45Good. What else?
- 16:46The love of argument? You can almost see this in a
- 16:48man's eyes. Does he enjoy the adrenaline of
- 16:52the clash? Second, Timothy warns US against
- 16:55foolish controversies, but this man tends to dive right into
- 16:58them. He tends the breeding ground of
- 17:00controversy. He's not actually trying to
- 17:02resolve the issue. He's trying to perpetuate the
- 17:05battle. It's like a sport for him.
- 17:06It is. Then look at his tactics.
- 17:08Does he use sarcasm as a weapon? Does he ask a loaded questions
- 17:11designed to trap people? Is he always looking for those
- 17:14gotcha moments? The question is, is he trying to
- 17:16shame the other person or persuade them?
- 17:18A man wants to humiliate his opponent, the shepherd wants to
- 17:22win his brother. And then finally.
- 17:24The relational fallout. This is the biggest.
- 17:26Indicator of all, just look at the wake he leaves behind him.
- 17:29Do people tend to avoid him? Does the room physically tighten
- 17:33up when he starts to speak? Does he become the axis of
- 17:36faction and division? Right.
- 17:38If everywhere this man goes, there's division, strife, and
- 17:41people getting hurt, the common denominator is him.
- 17:44He might claim he's just standing for truth, but the
- 17:48fruit is relational destruction, the source material.
- 17:52Also mentioned something it calls a social media audit.
- 17:56I think this is pretty much non negotiable in the modern church.
- 17:58It has to be. It absolutely has to be.
- 18:01You can have a man who is quiet and polite in the church foyer.
- 18:03He shakes your hand. He asks about your kids, but
- 18:06then he goes home, opens his laptop and becomes an absolute
- 18:10brawler in the comment section. He's a lamb on Sunday.
- 18:13And a wolf on Monday exactly he. Posts sick burns.
- 18:16He mocks other Christians. He gets into endless, bitter,
- 18:19pointless debates online, The source material argues, and I
- 18:22completely agree, that this disqualifies him if a man is.
- 18:25Known for his shark tongue online, he is disqualifying
- 18:29himself from the pulpit. You cannot separate the man from
- 18:32his digital footprint. The heart is the same.
- 18:34The Internet just removes the social filter and reveals who he
- 18:38really is. That is a hard.
- 18:39Word. But it's a very necessary one.
- 18:42Now let's talk about testing candidates, because it's easy to
- 18:45hide this stuff during a calm interview process, right?
- 18:48Very easy. The source talks.
- 18:49About something called the Crucible of shepherding.
- 18:52Yeah, the. Idea here is that the
- 18:54qualification of being not quarrelsome is not proven.
- 18:57When things are going well, it's proven under pressure.
- 19:00You don't test the hull of a ship in the calm of the harbor,
- 19:03you test it in the storm. OK, so.
- 19:06We have 4 specific tests listed here.
- 19:08Let's walk through them. First, the criticism test.
- 19:10This is vital. How does he handle being
- 19:13misunderstood or critiqued? If someone comes to him and
- 19:16says, pastor, I was really hurt by what you said on Sunday, what
- 19:19does he do? What's that first reaction?
- 19:21Exactly. Does he rush to vindicate
- 19:23himself? Does he get defensive and start
- 19:25to counterattack? Or does he have the humility to
- 19:29ask clarifying questions? Can he say, help me understand
- 19:33why you feel that way? Can you bear the sting of a
- 19:36false accusation without lashing out that requires.
- 19:39Immense humility and security in Christ.
- 19:42Second is the meeting test. This is about.
- 19:45How he behaves in deliberations with other leaders when they're
- 19:48sitting around the table and there's a disagreement, maybe on
- 19:51the budget or a hiring decision or a ministry philosophy.
- 19:54Does he treat the other elders as enemies to be conquered?
- 19:58Does he view the meeting as a battleground to be 1?
- 20:01And part of that is, can he? Lose.
- 20:02That's the key. Can he lose a vote without
- 20:05sulking? Can he lose a vote without going
- 20:07to the parking lot afterwards to lobby against the decision and
- 20:10undermine the unity of the elders?
- 20:12A quarrelsome man cannot handle not getting yeah, that parking
- 20:15lot. Meeting is the death of Unity.
- 20:173rd on the list is the weakness test.
- 20:19This reveals his. Heart toward the sheep.
- 20:21How does he treat the immature, the slow, the needy, the
- 20:24socially awkward? The quarrelsome man is impatient
- 20:28with weakness. He often confuses weakness with
- 20:31malice. So a sheep is slow.
- 20:33To learn he thinks they're being rebellious.
- 20:35Precisely he. Snaps at them.
- 20:36He's harsh, but a true shepherd picks up the lamb.
- 20:40He has a very long fuse with the struggling St.
- 20:43And finally. The discipline test.
- 20:45This is when things get really serious.
- 20:48Church Discipline. Is necessary, but it is very
- 20:50dangerous ground for a quarrelsome man.
- 20:53The question to ask is does he aim for restoration or for
- 20:56punishment? Does he want to win the center
- 20:58back or defeat the enemy? If a man seems to enjoy the
- 21:02process of discipline, if he seems eager to excommunicate or
- 21:05rebuke, that is a massive red flag.
- 21:08The godly elder enters into the discipline process with sorrow,
- 21:11always hoping for repentance. These are excellent diagnostic.
- 21:14Tools. I mean, if search committees and
- 21:16congregations actually use these, we would save our
- 21:18churches so much grief. We do.
- 21:20We check. For theological precision, which
- 21:22is good, we need that, but we often fail to check.
- 21:25For spiritual reflexes, we need to know what his knee jerk
- 21:28reaction is when he gets hit. OK, So what are the?
- 21:31Instructions for the church. We have listeners who are
- 21:34members, lay leaders, deacons. What should they do with all
- 21:37this? Well.
- 21:38Regarding examining candidates, don't just look at the resume or
- 21:42how well he preaches A sermon. Conduct reference checks
- 21:45specifically about his temper, ask his former colleagues, asked
- 21:49his wife if that's appropriate and can be done safely.
- 21:52Ask his children, ask his coworkers, and ask this
- 21:55question. Does he make meetings safer and
- 21:58clearer, or tenser and more tribal?
- 22:00That's a great question. Then there's the congregation's
- 22:03responsibility when it comes time to vote.
- 22:05The source warns against voting for the strong end.
- 22:07This goes right. Back to that cultural anxiety we
- 22:09talked about at the beginning. When the world feels hostile,
- 22:12churches want a fighter. They want someone who will stand
- 22:15up to the culture and own the libs.
- 22:17So they vote for the guy with the biggest sword.
- 22:20But the warning is this. A man who fights the world with
- 22:23carnal weapons, with anger, vitriol, aggression, will
- 22:27eventually turn and use those same weapons on the church.
- 22:31That is a chilling. Thought the sword you hire to
- 22:34protect you will eventually be turned on you.
- 22:36It's inevitable. It's his nature.
- 22:38He is a fighter. If he runs out of enemies
- 22:40outside the walls, he will find enemies inside the walls.
- 22:43The church needs protectors, not aggressors.
- 22:46Then there's the issue. Of installation and oversight.
- 22:49So once we have these men in office, how do we keep them
- 22:52accountable to them? We need to charge.
- 22:53New elders publicly to be junkle make it part of the installation
- 22:57vows, and the existing elders must hold each other accountable
- 23:01for tone. It is not enough to correct bad
- 23:03theology, we have to correct bad tone.
- 23:06If an elder is harsh or sarcastic in a meeting, another
- 23:09elder needs to love him enough to pull him aside and say,
- 23:12brother, that was not the spirit of Christ.
- 23:14We need a culture. Where repentance is normal for
- 23:16leaders, not a sign of weakness. Yes.
- 23:20A culture where it is safe for a leader to stand up and say I was
- 23:24harsh, I sinned, I am sorry. That models the gospel for the
- 23:29whole flock more powerfully than 100 sermons on the topic as we
- 23:33start to wrap. Up here, I want to summarize the
- 23:35picture that we're seeing. The biblical elder is called to
- 23:38be a man of gentle authority. Gentle.
- 23:41Authority. He is patterned after Christ.
- 23:44Just think of Jesus. He was strong enough to silence
- 23:47every critic. He was powerful enough to calm
- 23:49the storm with a word, yet he was restrained enough to entrust
- 23:53himself to the Father. He watched the feet of the very
- 23:56man who would betray and abandoned him.
- 23:58It's strength. Under perfect control, it's the
- 24:00lion. Who is also the lamb I want to
- 24:02leave our. Listeners with one final thought
- 24:04from the source material, it connects this internal character
- 24:07trait of being a machos to the church's witness in the world
- 24:11this is where it. Becomes a powerful apologetic.
- 24:13The world expects the church to be just another special interest
- 24:16group fighting for power. They expect us to be loud,
- 24:18angry, and grasping for control, just like every other political
- 24:21tribe they see. They expect us to.
- 24:23Play by their rules exactly. But when leaders exhibit the
- 24:27Amacha spirit, when they refuse to return evil for evil, when
- 24:31they are reviled and do not revile in return, it offers an
- 24:34apologetic that no argument can overthrow.
- 24:37It shows the world that we possess a piece that they do not
- 24:40have. It shows them that we are
- 24:42citizens of a different Kingdom, a Kingdom where the.
- 24:45King conquered not by killing his enemies, but by dying for
- 24:49them. And if our leaders.
- 24:50Look like that, king, the world might just stop and listen to
- 24:53the message we are preaching. That's the goal.
- 24:55Fighting for the flock without fighting with the flock.
- 24:58Thanks for joining us on this deep dive into reformed
- 25:00thinking. We hope this challenges you,
- 25:02maybe to check your own heart before you send that next tweet
- 25:05or enter that next difficult meeting.
- 25:07We'll see you next time.