Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Orchot Yashar: The Analytical Eye: Balancing Judgment and Belief 2.8.26
Transcript
- 0:00So soak less last couple of weeks we we focus, we utilize of
- 0:08hiring Kennewski Cephey, which he gives a person his personal
- 0:12advice and guide to living life. And we focus on one of his
- 0:16points was the significance of being an honest person, which
- 0:20meant talking truth and telling your children that they have to
- 0:24speak the truth. And in fact, is molishing a
- 0:26child if he doesn't speak the truth because that's one of the
- 0:28most important things that person's used to.
- 0:31And we explained that the theme is, in reality, why is speaking
- 0:35the truth such a big deal? Maybe someone can lie, get ahead
- 0:37a little bit. OK, I'm thinking about stealing
- 0:40money through their lie. Just they like to create a
- 0:42certain reputation or make themselves look a certain way
- 0:44through their words. Our point was, was that it has a
- 0:49very negative outcome in the long run.
- 0:51And because their person gets used to lying, they're trying to
- 0:54create a certain image for themselves through their lie.
- 0:58And eventually they start to try living that image and that
- 1:01creates problems. Whereas if you're genuine, you
- 1:03are who you are and you don't really try to create for
- 1:07yourself any imagination and the image and you live your life as
- 1:10yourself. Which means I am, I am, I have
- 1:13my flaws, I have my strengths, people like me, what I am, and
- 1:16creates a much more healthy individual.
- 1:19That was the story with truth. Now move to another one to skip
- 1:22a couple and go to another chapter.
- 1:23He brings up the significance of judging people favor.
- 1:29So I'll give you a question before we analyze this concept a
- 1:31little bit. I had this debate with an
- 1:34individual a couple of days ago and that is, is it good or not
- 1:39good to be a critical person? Now I'll play, I'll give you the
- 1:44two sides of the coin. When you're a critical person,
- 1:48on the one end, you have a little bit of a analytical eye
- 1:52things. You look at everything and
- 1:54you're not just buying into everything you see.
- 1:57You're not accepting every word that you're told.
- 2:00You're looking at things and you're judging them.
- 2:02You're going back and forth, you're comparing, you're going
- 2:05to based on what you've been told before and you're looking
- 2:07at the whole picture. That's a critical person.
- 2:10So is it a positive or a negative to be a critical
- 2:12person? So on the one hand, you have
- 2:13this, which is kind of a very certain sense of real person,
- 2:17but a critical person also has opinion, many opinions.
- 2:22And he has certain people that he doesn't hold so much about.
- 2:25He has certain things that people tell him everyone's so
- 2:27excited about. And he says because it was
- 2:29critical eye, he says, I'm not really buying him.
- 2:33I'm not so impressed, not not much moves needle by me.
- 2:38So he has the fact that he's very analytical.
- 2:40He also has the fact that he's a bit a bit judgmental.
- 2:43And my question is, you have a choice of being this kind of
- 2:47person or being a nice, sweet Tamim person that goes along
- 2:53with the flow and someone tells us something impressive, he's
- 2:55impressed. Someone tells something that's
- 2:57nice, he says OK, He sees every person.
- 2:59Everyone's the same to him. Which one is a better person?
- 3:02Is it a good thing to be a critical person or is it not?
- 3:05That was my question. I can hear the debate both ways.
- 3:10I'll take your opinion, and then we'll go to look at this concept
- 3:12in a second. What do you think?
- 3:14Good thing, not good to be a critical person.
- 3:17Finn Pettis. There's no extreme.
- 3:19I understand the a Sheen, not extreme.
- 3:21You think it's not going to be the worst?
- 3:23Oh, not not not. What did it be extreme?
- 3:26I understand in general people. Are extreme.
- 3:28How often they've heard you They.
- 3:29Said all day, you're critical back and forth with the Lord.
- 3:33Something part of a Gemara head is to be extremely critical,
- 3:35Yes. Any real guy, anything that he
- 3:38sees, he doesn't really buy in as you really accept.
- 3:41He sees behind the scenes. He's always telling himself.
- 3:44But there's another story here. I happen to be that kind of
- 3:47person personally. And remember, I see anything.
- 3:50Anything I see, I'm always saying to myself.
- 3:52I know how the world sees us. I know behind the scenes there's
- 3:56some, you know, I'll give you an example.
- 3:57What's that, Rabbi? If you you're communicating with
- 3:59somebody else and you're critical about that, that's
- 4:01where I was going with it, Yeah, Slot not.
- 4:03That's what it leads to. That's part of the picture.
- 4:05It's one of the same. So the other side of the coin is
- 4:09judging favor. So let's play out the beauty of
- 4:10judging favor and we'll get back to that point.
- 4:13I definitely agree with both your points.
- 4:15I do are negatives and positives, and you could easily
- 4:17just say that being a critical person has more negatives than
- 4:21positives and he better off being the other kind of person.
- 4:24I'll show you both sides of the coin after we take a little bit
- 4:27of an understanding of the topic of judging Favorite and Mishnah
- 4:33says they have it down the claw down the cafs.
- 4:36They used to judge every person favorably, which means you,
- 4:40you're a judge in your mind and you're looking at people and
- 4:42you're weighing what they're doing.
- 4:44Tells you unfavorably, says Mishnah on the Galaxy as well
- 4:48with with righteousness. You should judge.
- 4:53You're frank, which means if you're looking at them and your
- 4:56mind, you're judging them. Tilt toward the right, tilt
- 4:59toward the fact they didn't do anything wrong in your mind.
- 5:02Have it done in Traverga. And in fact, the rabbi says it's
- 5:07actually a mitzvah. It's a mitzvah when you see
- 5:10someone to judge in favourably, it's you're fulfilling A
- 5:13mitzvah. You're getting a check on your
- 5:14box upstairs by saying to yourself, so and so.
- 5:18I see what he's doing doesn't look good.
- 5:20He's probably doing the right thing.
- 5:21I just don't know what's going on.
- 5:23Let's judge me favor. And I mean, and the Gemini
- 5:26Masaka Shabbat tells us one of the things that gives you a
- 5:30great reward in this world and the next World.
- 5:32One of the things on that list, a shortlist of 6 items.
- 5:35One of the things on that list is a diamond Caviarola, Cavarola
- 5:39Cavarola Cavs, the hoot. If you're willing to judge your
- 5:42friend favorable, it's great for reward in this world and give it
- 5:47for a word in the next word which tells you that Hashem
- 5:50holds, Hashem believes. Don't be a judge mental person.
- 5:54What's a judge mental person? He sees someone, especially if
- 5:57he sees him doing something wrong.
- 5:58For sure he's judge mental. If you see a person walking into
- 6:03a non kosher restaurant, right? A guy who's your friend, a guy
- 6:07who you know from the community, A judge mental person
- 6:09immediately puts two and two together and says to himself, I
- 6:13know so and so. I thought he was on defense.
- 6:14I'm not sure which way he went. Clearly he's that way.
- 6:17Judgmental. You see a person, I don't know
- 6:20what other examples to come to mind, but there's so many
- 6:22examples you could think of of the person yelling.
- 6:25And again in judgmental, you don't know where he's yelling at
- 6:27The Who, but he yelled, just not the person says I, I, I'm not
- 6:30sure. I was never sure if he has an
- 6:32angry side or not. Clearly he does give by it.
- 6:35And you know, there's so many different examples.
- 6:37You can judge people and the Mishnah and then the Gemara are
- 6:41telling you that mitzvah to go the other way and to say, I
- 6:46don't know really what's going on.
- 6:48You can go further with judge. You could look at someone's
- 6:49children. You could say, oh, I know where
- 6:51they came from, the parents. You can go on and on with these
- 6:54ideas and you could judge people constantly.
- 6:56You can still look at someone's choice of work, someone who we
- 7:00married. And you can always judge people
- 7:03and be judgmental. And God, can you be critical
- 7:06without being judgmental? Well, we have to get to that
- 7:07point. That's the hope, but a simple
- 7:09understanding is that that was that way.
- 7:12Simple, I understand, but the simple understanding is that the
- 7:15Mishnah they're all telling you choose seems choose to judge
- 7:20favorably. In fact, it goes so far to say
- 7:23that if you see a Sadiq, A righteous person, actually
- 7:27commit a sin, not only do something that's great, he
- 7:31committed a sin. It's written that you can assume
- 7:36that by the morning he has cleansed himself from that sin
- 7:39and he has already done complete the Shiva.
- 7:42By the morning time, you can assume that he did the Shiva.
- 7:45That's how far we're going with his perspective of looking at
- 7:48people in the positive light. If it's a Sadiq who did
- 7:51something wrong, I don't know what a regular person, but Sadiq
- 7:53did something wrong. Your mind should go to the idea
- 7:57and settle on the fact that he probably got rid of that mistake
- 8:00by now. That's how far we go.
- 8:03You haven't mitzvahed to judge people favorably, to go to the
- 8:06right, to tilt the positive, and you have Even so far to say
- 8:10there's someone actually dissing wrong.
- 8:12It's not a debate anymore to go and say he probably, he's
- 8:17definitely in my mind has cleansed himself in that sin.
- 8:20If that's the case, everything from the Torah is pushing to the
- 8:23idea of being non judgmental, not negative at all.
- 8:29Right? I mean, first of all, our minds
- 8:31and our conversations usually go the opposite.
- 8:34We see someone do something and we paint the picture and I'm I
- 8:37know, I know why he's doing this.
- 8:38It's because of this. You create a conspiracy theory
- 8:40in 5 minutes, right? That's the opposite side of the
- 8:43coin. But this is telling you not to
- 8:45be judgmental. And please, how do we?
- 8:47Deal with the gamanal talking about should man have been
- 8:49created and then suddenly end. Man is evil and shouldn't have
- 8:52been created. I mean, discussing God's plan,
- 8:54you're saying? Yeah.
- 8:54I know, right? Giving them the benefit of the
- 8:56doubt if right there they're saying you shouldn't.
- 8:58Give me who to benefit that man. Or God you should man have been
- 9:01created and then says no on the end was the end said no So you
- 9:04you giving them the benefit of the doubt air where well you
- 9:07tell him. Really they are.
- 9:08I don't think you're talking about a specific person like
- 9:10he's talking about the overall creation concept.
- 9:12But but the specific person, individual by individual, action
- 9:16by action, will tell you, it seems, judge people favorably.
- 9:20So you may be talking about an overall theme or concept where
- 9:23you can go the other way. But every person, friend, family
- 9:26member, it's clear, according to the Kamala Mishnah Church
- 9:30favorite, they give you the most classic case out there where
- 9:33there's a story where a person who was not paid for three
- 9:36years, his wages. I went to his boss and he said I
- 9:38need to get paid. He was living with that boss for
- 9:41three years. I need to get paid and go back
- 9:43to my family. The boss said I have no money.
- 9:45He then said, OK, give me from your livestock.
- 9:47It came from your animals. The boss said I don't own any, I
- 9:50don't have any. He said, OK, so give me from the
- 9:52land, the yard. The boss said I don't have that
- 9:54either and the worker just left. This isn't the amount of the
- 9:57worker just picked up and left and went home with nothing.
- 10:01After this he went home for the holiday.
- 10:02After the holiday his boss shows up with everything with animals
- 10:05and gifts and everything to pay him and the boss tells the
- 10:08worker When I told you I didn't have each thing, what do you
- 10:13believe? What do you think I had the more
- 10:16fun of you than the boss had money.
- 10:19The boss had the livestock on practice silver, and he had the
- 10:22land. What do you believe?
- 10:24And each one the workers said, I believed that the animals were
- 10:30designated already to the bed to Mcdash and the land was already.
- 10:33So it was maybe a lien or something was already assigned
- 10:37for something else and the money was already put to somewhere
- 10:40else. In other words, I believe that
- 10:41even though everything was right in front of me, in front of my
- 10:43eyes, maybe there's a bigger picture here and that's why he's
- 10:46telling me, telling me. And the boss said every single
- 10:50point that you're making is 100% spot on.
- 10:53And even though it looked like I was very well off, I really had
- 10:56nothing at the time. And that's why I couldn't pay
- 10:59you. And the reason the story is told
- 11:01is because from your eyes, when you look at something, are we
- 11:04judge? What does it mean we're a judge?
- 11:06We're a judge because we're using our eyes.
- 11:08Our eyes see a certain scene. But here's the funny part.
- 11:13You and I both know from our own personal lives, right?
- 11:16My personal life, your personal life.
- 11:17We all know that if you look at me from face value, you don't
- 11:21know half the story. You don't know a tenth of the
- 11:24story, right? Even me, even though we're so
- 11:27close, you still don't know the 10th of the story.
- 11:29Really of anything that goes on in my mind or anything that
- 11:33bothers me or anything like that.
- 11:34You can't know. And I don't know, I don't think
- 11:36a tenth of the story of things that drive you and that you're
- 11:39busy with. And that could be the politics,
- 11:41whatever it may be. So that's because our eyes are
- 11:45trying to be the judge, but our eyes cannot be literally the
- 11:49other person if that's the case. And I know this by myself.
- 11:53You're looking at me, then I should know this about you when
- 11:55I'm looking at you. Hence I'm a very bad judge.
- 11:59If I try to judge people, I'm a very bad judge because I'm doing
- 12:02a court case, forming a court case without half the facts,
- 12:06right? That's the problem with judging
- 12:08people negatively, because you're looking at a person,
- 12:10you're looking at his children, you're looking at a story, and
- 12:12you're making a whole picture in your mind and you can't help but
- 12:14do it. That's what we all do.
- 12:15But you don't know anything. You have no idea what's really
- 12:18going on, right? And that's part of the issue of
- 12:21judging someone favorably. So back to my original question,
- 12:26there's a mitzvah to judge people properly, favorably.
- 12:29There's a mitzvah to always tilt in your mind and say he didn't
- 12:33really do anything wrong, doesn't really know what he's
- 12:35doing. There's something else going on,
- 12:37whatever it may be, and go positive.
- 12:39Should you be a critical person or should you not?
- 12:42My real opinion is honestly speaking, my real opinion is two
- 12:47parts. On the one hand, you should see
- 12:50everybody that you know, everyone or part of us as part
- 12:54of our team. On the part of our team, you're
- 12:58rooting for them to succeed. You're rooting for them to
- 13:01succeed. That means you try as much as
- 13:04you can to hope and will that they're doing something positive
- 13:08once you go down that road and you're not going to look to
- 13:12negative as much. The reason people judge are the
- 13:15people, those who are critical often times are the most sad
- 13:19people. They're the most depressed
- 13:20people and the most nothing going on in their life.
- 13:24That's a very part of a critical person.
- 13:25He's bitter in a sense and that creates and by the way, he's
- 13:29very good at what he does. Often times those bitter people
- 13:32who are cynical, they can pinpoint the story like nobody
- 13:35else. No one can find those holes in
- 13:38the other guy like this guy can, but he's also bitter.
- 13:41What do you mean they haven't? I don't know if he has to be
- 13:43bitter. I know a lot.
- 13:44He has to be bitter. I'm telling you, General, what I
- 13:46see, a lot of cynical people are very bitter and this makes them
- 13:49like Zaki. This gives them happiness, the
- 13:53downfall of the people around them.
- 13:54It gives them something. Basically, the way we work, all
- 13:56of us and our mind, our natural mind says I need to be on top
- 14:01right now. I could either be on top because
- 14:03I'm on top, or I could be on top by putting everyone else down in
- 14:06my mind. These are some people work and
- 14:08so bitter usually plays into nothing.
- 14:10Everyone's that way. They got PTSD and the guy was
- 14:13was burnt before he's critical. Burnt also in similar sense so
- 14:16so now should just be that way. Good 100% doesn't have to be
- 14:19bitter. But the big part of the picture,
- 14:20and I've played this out, if it's coming from bitter, it's
- 14:24coming from the fact that you do not consider the other person
- 14:26part of your team and therefore you're judging him in a
- 14:29negative. Like so that you can leave him
- 14:32as the bad guy. Leave him as the problem so you
- 14:34can feel great about yourself. That's the bad side of the coin.
- 14:38That's the rule. I'm kind of judging.
- 14:40And that person should not exist and that mind should not be part
- 14:43of our mind. We do not want to be bitter.
- 14:46We don't care if anyone else's downfall.
- 14:48But at the end of the pasuk says the words been the whole, been
- 14:50the full. You don't rejoice by the
- 14:54downfall of the enemies. That's not the goal.
- 14:56That's not the goal. At the same time, however,
- 15:00equally as important, I believe it's to be somewhat, somewhat of
- 15:05an analytical person and even the pretty critical person.
- 15:09Why? Because the reality is so many
- 15:13things that are happening in our lives are people trying to pull
- 15:17the wool over our eyes constantly.
- 15:19On a broader scope, in the world and the Jewish world, in the
- 15:24community, everything has a little bit of people trying to
- 15:29pull the wool over our eyes. And what that leads to is a very
- 15:32dangerous zone as well. And that's called a petty.
- 15:36What's a petty? A petty is the word for a fool.
- 15:40It's a word we use for a fool. And the pasuk says petty.
- 15:44Yamin Lehodavar. A fool believes in everything.
- 15:49Even though we are people of faith, we are people who trust,
- 15:52We are people who are loyal. We are people who believe how
- 15:54our essence is believing, but at the same time believing in
- 15:57everything. Being gullible is a very
- 16:00dangerous Rd. A Jew has full pact with Emunah
- 16:06belief and in Munana Shem and Munana the people believe in
- 16:09other people, trusting other people, seeing positive in other
- 16:13people, not judging them negatively.
- 16:15But at the same time, if you go too far with the belief
- 16:18perspective, then you believe everybody is good.
- 16:22And that's very in my mind, equally as dangerous sky.
- 16:24I'll tell you what I mean in a second.
- 16:26So but it's. I think it's two different
- 16:28things. Critical is always negative.
- 16:29We critical is negative. I think criticals analytical is
- 16:33not negative that you're looking at me analyzing something.
- 16:36But when you say critical, critical is nothing is.
- 16:40It has no you counted I think. It I think critical is negative.
- 16:43So now that goes hand in hand. Think so, but let me say maybe I
- 16:45the word shouldn't be critical if I'm.
- 16:47Critical I'm one of your if I'm critical of because I want the
- 16:53law as he teaching it to be the right way, not that I'm.
- 16:55Against No. Negative.
- 16:57But it's it's still breaking it down if his point is.
- 17:01No, I'm not negative on that. No, but his point is, is that
- 17:04Mars is divided in the layers. Mars's point is that critical is
- 17:08definitely breaking down the first level.
- 17:10Even if you don't be critical to because you want to get right,
- 17:13it's still breaking down. The better word for the my
- 17:17perspective I'm trying to put out there, which I really
- 17:19believe very much, and this idea is to be analytical.
- 17:23A better word is to be maybe it sometimes crosses over the
- 17:26critical to a degree, but it's to be someone, yes, even to a
- 17:31certain degree, is judging the picture a bit, but not judging
- 17:35negatively per SE, but looking at things and looking beyond
- 17:38what you're seeing in front of your face.
- 17:39Because that simple idea of accepting everything leads to
- 17:45gullible. I'll give you an extreme concept
- 17:47in our history that may play into that.
- 17:50I just asked. Yeah, he's right.
- 17:51Oh, he is. OK, to the more negative.
- 17:53OK, say I if you want to go. State.
- 17:55Corrective. OK, good.
- 17:57The perspective however you you choose your word, the
- 18:00perspective is clear that a person has to be someone who
- 18:03looks past. That's the basis doesn't just
- 18:06take everything in why or just accept everything because that
- 18:09leads to gullible. We have in our history a long
- 18:12time ago. It's a big part of Jewish
- 18:13history and made our people very jaded for many years.
- 18:18A classic example of what we call a shop tied speak.
- 18:21Shop tied speak as a person who over time claim to be Mashiach.
- 18:27Now, there were a lot of things going on in history at the time,
- 18:30The way I was told around the Jewish history elementary
- 18:33school, a lot of things going on in Jewish history that was said
- 18:37that fed into the belief that people wanted Mashiach.
- 18:40Even today, when people talk about Mashiach, a lot of times
- 18:43they talk about that because they just came from dealing with
- 18:45something said. So they go right into the
- 18:48Mashiach outcome, but not the greatest way to think about
- 18:50Mashiach. He's not just your savior, He's
- 18:53rather a beautiful way of life. It's not just your Saber.
- 18:56It's more about Hashem. But at that time people were
- 19:00saved and this guy came along. It was a rough time post
- 19:04different things happening in Europe, and this guy came along
- 19:06and he claimed he was Mashiach and he did some good tricks and
- 19:11he was a very savvy person, very charming person.
- 19:14How many years ago? I don't know, three, 4500, oh,
- 19:16maybe 500 years ago. Thank you.
- 19:18He was a savvy. Person manic depression.
- 19:21I'm sure he was. You just give all crazy and he
- 19:23really he wooed the whole many Jewish people, even some Gizolin
- 19:29we're on board. At least they did not shoot him
- 19:31down that much. They didn't do They didn't shoot
- 19:33him down. Some did, some did not until how
- 19:37the story end up. He had people following.
- 19:40He had followers, yet they thought he was my Shia.
- 19:42Imagine what do you? Mean they sold their houses in
- 19:43Syria. That's it.
- 19:44They only did they that that's the way to hingle by the because
- 19:47of him right when he came to Syria, that was a song they
- 19:50sang. Right.
- 19:51They thought they were going to the Sion and then the outcome
- 19:54was the Muslims got a hold of them.
- 19:57The Sultan got a hold of him, and they forced him to convert
- 20:01and he converted to Islam and that's the end of him.
- 20:06That was another story ending. So here you have a guy who was
- 20:09our savior from many religious people and he ended up being a
- 20:14total fraud of 0 and someone who probably is not, definitely not
- 20:18alone about today. That's how far I went Mashiach.
- 20:22To know ABBA and the whole people are following him like
- 20:25he's Mashiach, a lot of people at least that made the Jewish
- 20:29people forever jaded forever. We are people who became
- 20:34somewhat critical based on that story and somewhat even cynical.
- 20:39And the truth is you need to have a little bit of that in
- 20:42your life because if your daughter's getting married and
- 20:46someone says beautiful family, wonderful people, amazing people
- 20:49and you don't have this type of eye, you will just buy in and
- 20:53that's that. And then they get married and
- 20:55then you find out. Now you someone finds out these
- 20:58people are really a problem and really difficult people.
- 21:00They have real issues. And you say to yourself, how
- 21:03come I didn't know this? You never asked the soul because
- 21:06you just bought in and you have a movement of a Sigoula.
- 21:09Someone tells you, you got to do 40 days and 40 nights of don't
- 21:13eat, no eating cheese. And if you do that don't is
- 21:16going to get married, you're going to make $1,000,000 right.
- 21:19And people who are the gullible type, they do it.
- 21:22They do it and I keep hearing about different suitable.
- 21:25They hate them all the time. Try to eat this at that hour and
- 21:28do this and pray this and it's all nonsense.
- 21:31It's all nothing. It's all hot air.
- 21:33It's some guy with the credit card machine making money.
- 21:37The whole thing is hot air. A lot of these things are
- 21:39complete sketch, complete 0. But someone's pulling you like
- 21:43why? Because we're gullible.
- 21:45So if we allow ourselves to be that type, now we're running a
- 21:49major risk and we are very judge mental.
- 21:52On the other hand, we're also destroying the fabric of
- 21:56trusting people have appreciated people of liking what you're
- 22:00seeing. Where is the real answer?
- 22:02The real answer is obviously it's the middle of the row.
- 22:04That's a clear answer, even though we're being told not to
- 22:07judge negatively, to judge favorably.
- 22:09When you're judging, judge favorably.
- 22:12So don't judge anybody, but at the same time, at least in
- 22:15negative light, by the same time, extremely, extremely
- 22:19analytical lie. Because if we allow ourselves to
- 22:22be gullible, literally, they could pull the Willow of our
- 22:25eyes and pull any sketch on us. In religion, any sketch can be
- 22:29pulled. And so people ask the question,
- 22:32if this is true, should be so then what's what's the right
- 22:35faith? The essence of faith is trusting
- 22:39is believing is going with it, right?
- 22:41That's what faith is. You believe in Hashem, you trust
- 22:44Hashem, you go with what you're told about Hashem.
- 22:48How's that playing? And the answer really is 2
- 22:51things when it comes to M. We're now we have a concept that
- 22:54just, it just comes over us, that just becomes our way and
- 22:58we're now push it out. Simple fate.
- 23:00And the truth is over time you've built your trust in
- 23:03Hashem. You've seen enough, you've
- 23:06learned enough, you've realized enough to realize that there's
- 23:09something there to trust Hashem a lot more than something there.
- 23:13That's how your faith is partially built now that you
- 23:16have to analyse every detail of God's world and compare and
- 23:19contrast and figure out how Hashem exists.
- 23:20You don't need to do that. But there is a part of you that
- 23:23has done somewhat of that already and you've built your
- 23:25faith in Hashem. You weren't gullible there.
- 23:27You accepted based on your eyes and your mind.
- 23:31But being gullible, however, is very destructive.
- 23:33Whether it be gullible in religion, gullible if people
- 23:36tell you gullible about other families, all these things are
- 23:39very destructive. They can have, I think, much
- 23:42harm. I know many simple people.
- 23:45I'll tell you, my humble opinion is that a lot of the destructive
- 23:49movements are built by very nice people, very nice sweet sheep.
- 23:57Follow those leaders or follow those movements.
- 24:01They buy in, they get excited. I mean, for, you know, and the
- 24:04sheep is some guy who is a conniving person who's pulling
- 24:07all the stricks in the book. That's that's the leader, that's
- 24:10the hay, that's the puller, but the people behind are nice, good
- 24:13Tamim people. You see this concept all the
- 24:15time. Do you follow on the thing or
- 24:17not? And these people are good
- 24:19people. They're putting their money
- 24:21behind they're putting their time behind their energy behind
- 24:22it and they would not hurt a family.
- 24:25Whereas their leader, the person that they're following is
- 24:29literally the bull in a China shop.
- 24:32How does that happen? Because he's a sketch and they
- 24:36don't know about sketches and they haven't been, you know,
- 24:38they didn't work on the stores, they don't know about sketches
- 24:40and they think everyone is genuine.
- 24:42And that creates a major problem.
- 24:44The better way to be is to be a person who has an extremely
- 24:48analytical eye, maybe won't cross over to critical,
- 24:51definitely not cynical, because cynical is the structure.
- 24:54But to have an analytical eye is extremely, very powerful to be
- 24:59someone who looks past the base. I mean, you watch the news, you
- 25:03know, by now, I know by now everything we're being told, a
- 25:07lot of things are being told. There's a biggest story there.
- 25:09I mean, when you watch anything that goes on in World News, in
- 25:14Israeli politics, in American politics, all these things, you
- 25:16know, and I know there's a biggest story to be told, right?
- 25:20This is how I feel. That's how I see things.
- 25:22So if you go too far with this, it makes the whole world crazy
- 25:25in your mind. That's a little far, but you
- 25:27should have an extremely analytical eye, even bordering
- 25:32on critical. You should holler because with
- 25:35that you have a healthier perspective on life.
- 25:37Someone came to me last week and he came to giving charity and he
- 25:42found out something about giving charity that he gives to certain
- 25:46institutions. The guy who collects takes a
- 25:49crazy percentage, OK, a crazy percentage to collect.
- 25:55And it came to me and I'm going to say the number was on like it
- 25:58was like 80%. No, he takes 30%.
- 26:01And he was. I was so disappointed.
- 26:05By the way. The truth is, according to CERN
- 26:07halachot, there's a way to get around.
- 26:09This is why you have to be careful with things.
- 26:10There's a way to get around by by collecting.
- 26:13And he gets a drop less than 50% and it's possible.
- 26:16According to halach, he has a right to keep.
- 26:19Now that is not done by January people, but it is done by
- 26:23crooks. So this guy was extremely
- 26:25bothered. How'd he catch on to this?
- 26:27He caught on because someone was on an e-mail thread and they had
- 26:31the wrong person with the same name of the e-mail thread and
- 26:34those they emailed one person, someone else was on that e-mail
- 26:38thread and picked up on the story and he read that.
- 26:41Someone said, I'll give you just an example, it's worse than
- 26:44this. Someone said donated $200,000.
- 26:48I just got a donation of $200,000.
- 26:50That's the same number. Please send over my Commission
- 26:53of $60,000. Let's just say that was a
- 26:55number. It was worse than that, OK?
- 26:58And the person who told to me who's friends with this
- 27:01individual was extremely bothered.
- 27:04He's a donor himself. He's a lot of money himself.
- 27:07And he was totally blown off his chair.
- 27:08He couldn't handle it. I told him, listen, I never
- 27:12heard a story in my life. Honestly, I think it's the most
- 27:15extreme example I've ever heard. But at the same time, you should
- 27:20not be so surprised. And whenever you give our money,
- 27:24whenever you involve yourself in these things, you have to deal
- 27:27directly let the people themselves, they need to know
- 27:30them, especially if it's large amounts, you need to know them.
- 27:33You need to trust them. You know what he used to do.
- 27:35You need to check the way they live.
- 27:37And if the guy was frying on the, you know, first class or if
- 27:40he's living in some crazy home, maybe you should think twice of
- 27:43what you give that kind of money.
- 27:44Follow them. Follow the whole picture.
- 27:47And I even think because he told me it's an institution related
- 27:49to the community or something I said, is it?
- 27:51I don't, I don't know. I don't know which one it was,
- 27:53but I said look at certain ones. Look how the people live.
- 27:56If they live, the people involved live in a very simple
- 27:58way and you know what, then they're probably not doing these
- 28:02types of things. But if the people involved about
- 28:04living in a very luxurious way, then you have to be think twice.
- 28:08This is my personal opinion. Why?
- 28:09Because you have to have very clear analytical eye at the
- 28:14world around you. It's true with giving over your
- 28:17daughter to marry a certain guy. You didn't do so it's true.
- 28:20And you invested someone. You do.
- 28:21So how many people do you know have invested in people and then
- 28:25got sketched right? We all know this is part of the
- 28:27world. And every time I go back to say,
- 28:29oh, there were red flags, I should have known better.
- 28:31Of course you shouldn't know better.
- 28:33You should do research. Now at the same time, has Shem,
- 28:36runs the show, has Shem. I know a family who's very, they
- 28:40pretend to have opinions about everybody and everything.
- 28:43And their daughter married a guy that was nuts, literally crazy.
- 28:49And after a little while they said, how'd this happen?
- 28:51Like we, we, we know everything about every family.
- 28:53We, we analyze everybody how this happened.
- 28:55And the answer they accepted was I shouldn't build the world over
- 28:58their eyes. So as analytical as you can be,
- 29:01you can also make mistakes. Doesn't make you a better
- 29:04person, but it does make you at least have a more genuine
- 29:08outlook to the world. So at the same time, don't be
- 29:11negative, don't think everyone's a crook, don't be a conspiracy
- 29:14theorist and say everyone's pulling sketches left and right.
- 29:16It's going to drive you crazy. Don't be too cynical and even
- 29:21too critical. But according to this concept I
- 29:24mean what happens? If everybody finds out that he's
- 29:27a crook man, yeah. What happens?
- 29:30When everyone finds out who's a crook.
- 29:31They find out he's a crook. But they don't do anything.
- 29:34No one does anything. Yeah, tell you proudly.
- 29:36As a matter well, I'll tell you I got to the state.
- 29:38Why? Because that season 2, that
- 29:41feeds into this way of life, which means the fact that, and
- 29:45this is part of the problem, the truth is this, the fact that we
- 29:48have so many sweet, beautiful people that just, I'm being a
- 29:51little bit sarcastic there. They just go along with all the
- 29:54flows and just buy into everything.
- 29:56They build these images about certain people and they allow
- 29:59certain people to carry themselves in a way that makes
- 30:04them, you know, seem like regular people.
- 30:06And that creates the ability because if we were real with
- 30:09everyone, if we were fully real, these things would not happen.
- 30:12Which is if we really had the score the right way about
- 30:16certain families, certain people in business, certain croaks,
- 30:18certain sketches, these things, then people would be more aware
- 30:22and they wouldn't make the same mistakes when it comes to who
- 30:24they're doing, the Maori's, who they invest in, who they go into
- 30:27business with, if they had the real.
- 30:32Don't worry. So you have to figure.
- 30:33Out a way if I should not is dangerous, but at the same time
- 30:36before you invest you need to ask people and they need to tell
- 30:39you the truth. We have a pasuk you know let us
- 30:43say hi Lee bye. When your friend's blood is
- 30:45being spilled if you see a girl marrying a guy who's a a crazy
- 30:49addict and he's a problem right you have to you have to go ahead
- 30:52and tell you to pick up your phone and call up and tell these
- 30:55are part of the world that we live in.
- 30:57So there's a very interesting line that, like you said, we're
- 31:00thinking about people, certain people just talking about you.
- 31:03So certain people, you have to erase that.
- 31:05Certain people sit and learn, right?
- 31:08So nobody. Knows like he is.
- 31:10Certain people sit and learn, have this perspective that they
- 31:16figure out a way. I'm telling you, I know from the
- 31:18from the Gemara world, one of the greatest tools to figure out
- 31:21how to get the right middle of the road with this are people
- 31:24who learn, who study, who think, because when you think a lot,
- 31:29you see these pictures. I see every a in every Jewish
- 31:31newspaper. I know the behind the scenes.
- 31:33I can tell so and so got honored because he has a brother with
- 31:36money. So and so got this because
- 31:38they're pulling this sketch and making you look at a building,
- 31:40but the building's not really built.
- 31:42All these things I can see in three seconds.
- 31:43Are you negative? I'm a little bit there.
- 31:45I'm a little bit on the fence. Yeah, you might be a little too
- 31:49jaded for all these things. Especially when you grow up in a
- 31:52rabbi family, you kind of know the behind the scenes.
- 31:54Yeah, I'm a little jaded, yes. Maybe too much, but it does help
- 31:59me at least have a perspective and have an opinion.
- 32:02Have an opinion. I don't think every community
- 32:04member needs to be as jaded as a rabbi.
- 32:07Honestly, I think a rabbi needs to have a little bit more of a
- 32:09critical perspective 'cause if someone comes in with a story,
- 32:13he needs to know the real story behind the scenes.
- 32:15On the other hand, if everyone was fully, fully clear on
- 32:18everything, nothing would go forward.
- 32:20You know, No one would take a dollar in certain institutions.
- 32:22No one would invest. No one would marry their kids,
- 32:25all because they would find out about one floor.
- 32:27It's too much. If you go too far, you'll have
- 32:29to figure out the the balance down the middle.
- 32:32But you do need to have at the same time a perspective which
- 32:36says I'm on the same team with everyone else.
- 32:39I want everyone else to succeed. I want to root for that failure.
- 32:43But I'm not going to buy in to all the sketch.
- 32:47I'm not just going to take it and go with it because then I'm
- 32:50a petty. I'm, I mean, I'm a believer, but
- 32:53I'm not a fool, right? I'm a person who goes with
- 32:56things, who accepts, who likes other people, who wants others
- 32:59to succeed. I'm not looking for their flaws.
- 33:02But I'm not going to be made for a fool and just take everything
- 33:06and just take it at face value. Because if I do, there's a great
- 33:09risk for the sake of the Jewish people, for the sake of our
- 33:13community, for the sake of my family, for myself.
- 33:16There's a great risk if I just buy in everything I'm being
- 33:20told. I'll stop with this.