Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Recover From a Mistake
Transcript
- Lucas: So you're three weeks into your first manager role, and you send a team budget update to the VP of Sales with last quarter's figures. Not malicious. Just a slip. But now the VP is building a forecast on bad numbers, and you catch it an hour later. Luna: Oh, that knot-in-your-stomach feeling. What do you do? Do you call it out? Hope nobody notices? Lucas: Right, and that's exactly the tension we're talking about today. Because as a new manager, you're already worried about looking like you don't belong. A mistake like this feels like proof of incompetence. But the research on credibility repair actually says the opposite—how you handle it can build more trust than if you'd never made the error in the first place. Luna: There's research on this? Lucas: Yeah, the Center for Creative Leadership has a study on managerial trust repair. They found that the speed and transparency of your response matter more than the severity of the mistake. In their model, there are three moves: own it, fix it, learn from it. And most new managers skip the first step. Luna: Because owning it feels like you're admitting you're not ready for the role. Lucas: Exactly. But the data shows the opposite. In the study, managers who acknowledged a mistake immediately were rated higher on competence and integrity six months later than those who tried to minimize or deflect. The key is to separate the mistake from your identity. You made an error. You're not an error. Luna: Okay, so let's apply it to that budget email. What does 'own it' actually look like in practice? Lucas: You walk over—email won't do it for something this consequential—and you say: 'I made a mistake in that budget email. The figures I sent are from last quarter. Here's what the correct numbers are. I apologize for the confusion.' No caveats. No blaming the spreadsheet. Just a clean statement. Luna: And then fix it. Which in this case means sending the corrected figures and, if needed, re-running whatever analysis the VP already did with the wrong data. Lucas: Right. You don't just say 'sorry' and leave them to clean up. You offer to do the rework yourself. That's the fix step. And then the learn step: you implement a simple check—maybe a second set of eyes on any external-facing numbers before they go out, or a self-review checklist. You communicate that change to the VP so they see you've built a guardrail. Luna: That feels very actionable. But what about the smaller mistakes? Like, you forget a one-on-one with a direct report, or you misstate a deadline in a team meeting. Lucas: Same framework, scaled down. A quick 'I missed our one-on-one today, that's on me. Let's reschedule for tomorrow, and I'll make sure it's a priority.' Then you actually do make it a priority. The learn step might be setting a calendar reminder with a fifteen-minute buffer. The pattern is the same: own, fix, learn. Luna: I think one trap new managers fall into is over-apologizing. They say sorry five times in one conversation, which actually starts to feel less sincere, not more. Lucas: Yeah, that's a great point. Once is enough. Twice if it's a big deal. But after that, you're not apologizing anymore—you're performing guilt. And that can erode confidence in your leadership because it signals you're not ready to move forward. The goal is to restore trust, not to punish yourself. Luna: So own it cleanly, fix it concretely, learn visibly. And then move on. Lucas: Exactly. And there's another dimension here: when the mistake involves a peer or a stakeholder who wasn't your direct report. Like that VP of Sales. They're not your boss, but they're a key partner. How you handle it with them sets a precedent for how you'll handle future cross-functional slip-ups. Luna: And if you handle it well, you might actually strengthen that relationship. Lucas: Yeah. I've seen cases where a new manager's honest admission of error actually made the VP more willing to collaborate, because they saw the new manager as someone who takes responsibility. Compare that to the manager who says nothing and hopes the issue fades—that usually backfires, because the VP eventually finds out, and now there's a trust gap. Luna: Speaking of trust, you know, this show is ad-free and listener-supported. And if you've found these conversations useful—whether you're a new manager or just thinking about your next career step—you can support us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a simple way to keep the episodes coming without any sponsors. Lucas: Yeah, and we really appreciate that. It lets us focus on what works, not what sells. So if that resonates, the link is there. Now, back to the recovery playbook—one nuance I want to add: the 'learn' step shouldn't just be about process. It should also be about pattern. Luna: What do you mean by pattern? Lucas: If you make the same type of mistake twice—say, sending outdated data—then the fix isn't just a checklist. It's a deeper question: why are you using outdated data? Is your file management messy? Are you pulling numbers from the wrong source? The learn step should probe the root cause, not just add a band-aid. Luna: So it's not just 'I'll double-check next time.' It's 'I'll change my workflow so I can't grab the wrong file.' Lucas: Exactly. And that level of reflection shows maturity. It's what separates a new manager who's growing from one who's just surviving. Your team and your stakeholders notice the difference. Luna: Is there ever a case where you shouldn't own a mistake publicly? Like, if it's a minor thing that you can fix without anyone noticing? Lucas: That's a fair question. If it's truly invisible—you catch a typo before an email goes out, or you realize a calculation is off before anyone relies on it—then no need to broadcast. But once the information has left your hands, the safer play is to be transparent. Because the worst outcome isn't looking foolish—it's losing credibility by being discovered. And the discovery erases the chance to shape the narrative. Luna: So the rule of thumb: if they might find out, tell them first. Lucas: Yes. And that's especially true for new managers, because you're building a reputation from scratch. Your early actions define your brand. If you're the person who quietly fixes things, that's one brand. If you're the person who says 'I screwed up, here's my plan,' that's a different brand—one that signals confidence and accountability. Luna: What about mistakes that aren't individual but team-level? Like a missed deadline where the whole team contributed. Lucas: That's a tough one. As a manager, you own the outcome. Even if the miss was caused by a direct report's error, you're responsible for the system that allowed it. So you should still own it upward—to your boss—but you handle it differently with your team. You don't publicly blame the individual. You say to your team: 'We missed this deadline. Let's figure out what went wrong and how we improve.' And then you work on the system. Luna: That aligns with the idea of coaching not solving, which we've talked about before. Lucas: Exactly. And the recovery framework applies at the team level too. You own the miss as a team leader. You fix it by implementing a new process. And you learn by discussing the root cause with your team. The same three steps, just scaled. Luna: I'm thinking about the emotional side. When you mess up, especially early in a new role, there's that wave of shame or panic. How do you not let that derail the recovery? Lucas: That's the hardest part. The urge is to go internal—to spiral, to replay the moment. But recovery is an external action. You have to move from feeling to doing. One technique is to set a timer: five minutes to feel bad, then you act. It sounds mechanical, but it works. Because inaction is what really damages trust. Luna: Five minutes of panic, then into the playbook. Lucas: Exactly. And honestly, the more you practice this, the easier it gets. Every mistake becomes a data point. You start to see patterns: 'Oh, I tend to rush when I'm tired.' Or 'I should never send an email after 9 PM.' The learning step becomes a self-coaching tool. Luna: I like that reframing: a mistake isn't a verdict on your potential as a manager. It's information. Lucas: Yeah. And your team will mirror how you handle it. If you model honesty and growth, they'll feel safer admitting their own mistakes. That's the kind of culture that produces high-performing teams. It starts with the manager being willing to say 'I was wrong.' Luna: So next time you slip up, own it, fix it, learn it. And maybe buy your VP a coffee. Lucas: Or at least send the corrected spreadsheet. Thanks for listening, everyone. We'll be back next week with another conversation for new managers.