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Why You Don't Need a Narcissist To Confess · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  You don't need to confront the narcissist.
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  There, I said it. I said it.
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  I'm not take look, I'm not taking it back.
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  I'm not retracting anything. I said it.
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  There you have it. Of course, I'm going to tell you
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  why, though. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
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  And I give you, I'm here to give you the inside look at the mind
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  of a narcissist. And yo-yo, yes, yes, yes, yes.
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  First of all, if you're on YouTube watching this, why did
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  you click on this video? Was it because of the title of
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  the thumbnail or the thumbnail? Leave a comment below.
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  I'm I'm trying to do some some internal research and I would
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  really seriously like to know why you clicked on the video.
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  Was the title or did the thumbnail catch your eye?
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  This serious? If you if you're already
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  subscribed or if you're not a subscriber, I would like to know
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  either way. If you don't subscribe, hit the
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  subscribe button. But yes, to the point at hand,
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  to the topic at hand, You don't need to confront them, y'all.
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  The main reason why you don't need to confront a narcissist is
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  because they already know what they did was yeah, they already
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  know what they've done. You confronting them is not
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  going to make them change their mind.
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  It's not y'all. I'm being real.
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  You confronted A narcissist for something that they did do,
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  something that they have actually done.
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  Not some hearsay, nothing you made-up.
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  You got the screenshots, You got video evidence.
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  You got a damn near confession, right?
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  You got everything except the confession.
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  When you confront them, they already know what they've done
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  is wrong. They already know that it's
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  wrong. They already know that they're
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  going to get caught up. They already know that they're
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  in the wrong. They already they are.
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  Yeah, I promise you, they already know it.
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  That narcissist or the toxic person knows exactly what
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  they've been doing. They know how they've been
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  holding it down. They know what they have done to
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  you. They know what they put you
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  through that that's what most times that's why they didn't
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  tell you what they did. Especially if it's lying,
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  cheating, drugs, what alcohol, whatever it is like gambling,
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  whatever it is, whatever it is, they already know what they have
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  done to you. They already know.
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  I promise you they do. This is not, look, yo, this is
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  not some type of rocket science. This is not some type of just
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  like, well, Lee, I got to let them know that I know.
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  Ask yourself, why do you have to let them know that you know?
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  Seriously, why do you feel like you have to let them know that
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  you know? Because what are you going to?
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  What are you getting from that? Because I'm just telling you,
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  the narcissist knows. They know what they have done
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  wrong. They absolutely do, you know,
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  and when you come to me, let's let's let's just say, let me put
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  my narcissist hat on. Let me do I have a narcissist
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  hat. This will be my this is going to
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  be my narcissist hat today. Y'all like when you come to me,
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  will you confront me for something that that I did do in
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  my mind? I think that I can get you back.
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  I think because you confronted me that we can work on it now.
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  If you don't confront me and start taking action.
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  You see, I don't think I can work on that because you're
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  already taking action. You're already moving and taking
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  action, whatever that looks like, you know, because the more
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  you need a confession from me, the more I I just want to hear
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  them confessingly. You don't need a confession from
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  a narcissist. Y'all like you seriously don't.
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  You do not need a confession from a narcissist.
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  You might want one. You might feel like you're old
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  one. You feel like you, you feel like
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  you're you definitely. I do need no, you don't.
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  You don't need a confession to move on.
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  People. People have been arguing with me
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  about that for years right there.
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  When I I did a video about that a long time ago when I first
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  started, I was like, you don't need a confession, y'all?
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  You don't need to confront them. You don't need a confession.
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  Yes, I do leave because they need to know that I know they
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  know they've done wrong. Because if you look, if you
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  confront them and you don't plan on leaving, you just taught them
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  how to get away with it now. Yeah, take on our set off.
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  You just taught them how to get away with it.
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  Now they become a better liar. Yeah.
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  Could they stop the behavior for a little while?
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  Could they change the behavior for a little while?
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  Absolutely. Yeah, they can change it for a
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  little while. But over put, put forward
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  extended period of time. I don't think they can do that,
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  you know, for, you know, I know people, most, most can't do
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  that. I know people won't say, well,
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  Lee, you did it. Yeah.
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  I'm not saying that I'm better than other narcissists.
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  I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that I've been
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  put. I've put in the work.
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  Yeah, but I put in eight years of therapy.
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  Give me some. Yeah, I've been in eight years
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  of therapy. How many narcissists in the
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  world do you know have done it in the world?
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  Go ahead, give me how many narcissists in the world do you
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  know have done 8 years of therapy?
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  Some of y'all might know some. Some of y'all might know a few,
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  right? You might know 1.
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  You might know 2. That's very that's a rarity.
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  Y'all been in therapy for eight years?
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  Like we'll leave. Maybe I confront them.
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  It'll cause a narcissist to injury and that'll make them hit
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  rock bottom. And then when they hit rock
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  bottom, they'll change their behaviors to go to therapy.
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  And then they'll be like you Now let me be real.
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  Is there a possibility of that happening?
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  Yeah, that could happen, right? I know people will say, well,
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  Lee just said yes, that's a possibility.
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  The possibility of that happening, it's probably one in
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  a trillion. One in a billion, Not gonna say
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  a trillion 'cause this is a crazy ass number.
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  It's not. It's because there is 8, because
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  there's 11, what, 8 billion people on the planet.
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  That's probably 10 in a billion, 100, you know what I mean?
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  100 in a billion. It's not a very high chance.
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  If I told you, if I gave you the opportunity, right?
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  If I gave you a dice like like I say, if like you have a 11100
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  out of a billion chance to hit $1,000,000 or to become a
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  billionaire. If you roll a certain number,
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  but if you get a different number, you die, how many people
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  will be will be willing to roll those dice?
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  Some people, some people like, well, give me those damn dice.
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  I got nothing to live for anyway.
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  No, you were flipping things, wouldn't you?
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  You don't want to waste your life on somebody that's not
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  trying to change their behaviors, y'all.
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  And I'm just keeping it real. I'm keeping it hot and ready
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  like a Little Caesar's Pizza, like I always do on this
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  channel. I would say this, another reason
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  you don't want to confront a narcissist or you need a
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  confession from them is because y'all, if you, it allows them to
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  hold you hostage like because it, it allows them to hold your
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  hostage. I know people feel like you need
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  to confront them for some closure.
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  Y'all, it allows them to hold your hostage in the
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  relationship. They don't want.
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  Narcissists don't want to give you any type of closure because
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  closure means the end. Closure means that it's actually
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  over and done with. That's what closure means.
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  Closure doesn't mean that we want to work on things we want.
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  We going to like, say, get on horse.
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  We going to meet it meet at a a cafe in in France and both have
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  some hot kombucha and sip on it and then we both ride off in our
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  own horse and buggy in different directions.
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  No, when does that happen? That's not going to happen.
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  That happens to that doesn't happen to anybody.
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  Like closure is not a real thing from a narcissist.
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  You know, when you feel like you need to confront them, y'all?
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  As I promise you, it just allows them to hold you hostage and
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  they will hold you hostage in this relationship for a long
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  time because the more you need it, the more they'll keep it
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  away from you. The more you beg for it, the
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  less likely you are to get it. That's how narcissists operate.
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  The more you beg for something, the more the less likely you are
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  to get it. And I also tell you this as
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  well, y'all, another reason why you probably, this is probably
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  like, I'm gonna say this right here.
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  This is probably gonna be the main reason why you don't need
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  to confront a narcissist. It's dangerous.
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  Yeah, let's keep it that. Yeah, I got to keep it hot and
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  ready. Somebody bastards are scary, and
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  they will harm you. Somebody bastards are absolutely
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  scary, and they will bring harm and disruption to your life.
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  There are some scary narcissistic people out here who
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  only want to bring harm to your life.
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  They are scary as hell. So if you confront them and you
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  embarrass them or you like I said you confront them, you know
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  too much or you have the possibility of embarrassing them
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  or bringing harm to them then guess what happens next?
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  Guess what happens next after you embarrass them or whole like
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  this type of stuff. They can harm you, they can hurt
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  you, they can take you on up out of here.
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  Y'all know what I mean when I say that like Lee, what does the
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  hell what do you mean by it? They can take you on up out of
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  here. Imagine, just think about what I
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  mean right there. They can send you to meet your
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  maker if you like. Let's just say you won't need if
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  you, if you are God fearing person, you pray every night.
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  You won't need to pray anymore because you might be face to
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  face with with your our Lord and Savior.
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  You might be face to face with them.
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  You know, you might be face to face with them.
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  So think about that before you confront them because some of
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  them can become absolutely dangerous because with the
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  information that you know right now, you can ruin their lives.
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  You can, you can fracture their egos, you can take away their
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  identity. Let's just say you have a, a
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  narcissistic spouse that's in the army, right?
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  And you catch them cheating on you, right?
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  And you know, let's just say that your spouse is like a
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  Marine or a, a seal or something like that, something that's
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  harder to do. And that becomes their identity.
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  They, they let everybody in the world know that I'm a Marine.
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  I'm this, I'm that, right? You confront them with your
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  information and you threaten their identity because you know
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  how it is in the, in the armed forces, like affairs and
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  cheating can get you kicked out or demoted or whatever.
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  You threaten their identity. They can take you on the bottom
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  here. They can make it make it seem
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  like you had you know, they can make it seem like you had an
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  accident or you something how happened.
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  You know, this is what's going on.
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  Something magic, something accidentally happened to you.
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  They could really harm you. And in your existence, they can
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  absolutely send you to meet your maker, to meet our maker.
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  It's not maker too, right? So be very careful when you
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  think about confronting them. Now, are there times you could
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  confront them? Yeah, but you got to do it
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  safely, y'all. You got to.
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  Yeah, You, you have to think safety first.
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  I know y'all. There's so many people out there
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  that when certain things y'all see certain videos, y'all will
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  be like, well, Lee, that ain't no way to hell.
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  I would have threw that in their face.
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  I would have did this. I would have did that.
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  And you might have got your life taken.
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  So sometimes we got we, we have to calm down.
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  Like when you think about confronting A narcissist, the
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  first thing you want to do is calm down and ask yourself, OK,
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  what am I? What, How is this going to go?
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  What can they do to me? Oh, Lee, I don't think that they
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  would harm me there. Look, there are so many people
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  who are lying in graveyards right now who had that same
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  thought. I didn't think they would ever
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  harm me. And they end up getting life
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  taken. And it's not their fault.
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  They got the life taken. The the narcissistic, toxic,
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  psychopathic bastard. It's absolutely they were 100%
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  their fault. It's the fault of the person who
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  took their lives right? But you want to be as safe as
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  you possibly can. You don't want to confront these
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  bastards, y'all? I'm just telling you don't need
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  it. I know you want to sometimes,
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  but if you have a dangerous, especially if they already put
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  their hands on you, if they already strangled you or
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  something like that before, if they already threatened to harm
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  you, threatening, threatening to unalive you or whatever, you
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  already know what they're going. If they're, if they tell you
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  this type of stuff, they might very well be capable of it.
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  And if they say they're capable, if they've done it before, they
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  might do it again. You see what I'm saying?
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  If they've done it before, they could absolutely do it again.
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  And then guess what happens? They ruin your life.
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  They send you up the river. They ruin your life.
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  They send you up the river. You don't need to confront them,
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  y'all, because I know you want to.
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  I know. I know people are just like Lee.
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  I got to, I guess, in my bones. Leave them a note on the way
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  out. Leave them a note on your way
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  out of the relationship, right? Leave, Leave exit stage left.
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  Leave them a note, whatever the case may be.
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  You know what I mean? You have to be you have to be
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  careful. Write down everything that you
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  know. Document everything that you
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  know. If you have to confront them, do
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  it in a safe, as safely a way as possible.
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  If you can't avoid them because y'all have kids, you can't just
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  make a clean break. Of course, make a plan.
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  You have to. Yeah, you've got a plan.
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  That's what so many people, that's a mistake that so many
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  people make. You just act on impulse and you
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  don't because your feelings get hurt because you you you catch
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  them and act or something like that.
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  You go through their phone when they're asleep.
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  I understand that y'all, but take a breath please.
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  If you don't like, please take a breath y'all.
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  And this is me coming from my heart.
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  I care about you. I want you to be safe as
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  possible. I know there's so many of these
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  bastards that will hurt you and harm you because you caught
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  them, because you confronted them with something that they
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  have actually done. You want to be as safe as you
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  possibly can. Seriously.
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  OK, anyway, y'all, thank you for making to the end of this video.
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  Y'all know I appreciate every single one of y'all.
• 12:20
  The grind continues. Hit the subscribe button.
• 12:22
  You haven't already. Mental illness.net for all
• 12:25
  things Lee Hammock. Sending your stories to
• 12:28
  mentalillness85@gmail.com. If you want me to tell your
• 12:31
  story on the channel I'm doing, I'm doing an animated series
• 12:34
  here pretty soon. It's going to start here pretty
• 12:35
  soon, y'all. Hit the subscribe button y'all,
• 12:38
  and it's always y'all. It's always Mr. Hoodness is out.
• 12:43
  Peace.