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Here's Why I Left (And What I Learned in the Dark) · Healing with Purpose

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Healing with Purpose, a place where we share our ugly naked truths out loud with the sole intention of ascending into our higher self together.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: I started this podcast over five years ago, and I don't even know what was said.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think tips and tricks on how to be healthier, how to heal through your problems, but the reality is what I experienced in the last five years was so necessary in order to deliver the message that this entire conversation has always been about, which is talking about the depths of our pain with the intention of moving past them.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many people in the space now who are talking about the process of healing and who are talking about our shadows and who are talking about our past traumas.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's great because it brings awareness to why we operate the way that we do.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: The problem I was seeing in the space was that we were stopping the conversation there.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: The entire intention of healing with purpose has always been a place to talk about the ugliest parts of our life.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because without talking about these parts, we stay stuck.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I stayed stuck for years longer than I needed to.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited for you to join this conversation because if you're here, it's likely you feel stuck in some way.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you feel stuck in your body, maybe you are stuck in the mental prison that is your mind.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you are stuck with the same loops, the emotional patterns, the same relationships, the same feeling of unsatisfactory, no matter what it is that you do.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's you, then I completely see you because I was you.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And in many cases, I still am you, and we're always moving through this journey together.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: But in order for this conversation to be honest, I have to be fully honest.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the reality is when I stopped recording five years ago, I told myself that I didn't know what to do.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: My ex-husband was the engineer of my podcast.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so when that relationship ended, I said, Well, I don't know who's going to record and edit and film.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that was the excuse that I allowed myself to have.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is, is I was scared.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was scared to talk about the things that I was avoiding.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so grateful for the years that have passed because in that time, I got to explore the depths of my pain.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I got to explore all of my ugly naked truths, things that were brought on to me before I could even speak, and the things that I chose to welcome into my life as I entered into adulthood.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: The purpose of this conversation isn't to complain about our problems over and over and over again.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's also not to completely bypass the things that we've gone through as if we are Superman and it doesn't impact us.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can join the woo-woo spiritual space for that, or you can go to therapy for 10 years if you want the first.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: But the reality is, is there's a space in the middle, the space of in between.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And the space of in-between is where all growth is made.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us because of social media and a lot of practitioners going online and sharing the message of healing, which I think is incredible.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us are aware of some of our patterns and behaviors, but reality is most of you aren't.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Most of you don't know why you continue to choose the same relationship over and over and over again, just a different person, you know, with the same energy.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of you don't know why you are staying stuck at this job that you absolutely hate.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of you don't know why you are emotionally reactive or why it's difficult for you to communicate your boundaries.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of you don't know why this is happening, but you're frustrated that it is.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you are aware of why it's happening.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you will say, Well, I work at this job that I absolutely hate, but it pleases my parents.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: So even though it's sucking my soul, I'm going to stay here because it pleases my parents.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you say, Well, I'm not going to end this relationship because we're meant to be together.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: We just got married.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: We maybe we have kids.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: We can't end this relationship.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're supposed to be together forever, even though you know that you're not happy, or worse, you're not in love.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you are aware that your toxic patterns of your past, your, let's say, family issues or your parent issues is impacting the way that you show up in relationships.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now, some of you are aware of this, and all of that is great.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are aware, by the way, I want to take a second to applaud you because 80% of people are unaware of why they are the way that they are.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that are automatically makes you in the 20% of people who have now become aware of why some of your patterns, some of your behaviors, and maybe even your identity is what it is.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: However, most people are stopping out of awareness.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: I teach my clients inside of Beyond the Physical a framework.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the same framework that I'm going to reference each time we have a conversation.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: The soul ascension framework is designed to allow us to move through the process of healing with the intention of ascending into our higher self.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: There are way too many people who are stuck in this phase of healing.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're reading all of the self-help books, you're opening up your Instagram and doom scrolling the tarot readers, you're deep diving into your numerology or your human design, all of these tools, by the way, I absolutely love and I will be referencing many times, but simply doing that isn't enough.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: You have to actually move through a spiral of ascension, starting with awareness.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: But what is after that?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we actually need to acknowledge the role that we play in our lives now.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And the reality is, is you are the co-creator of your life.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: I am going to reference energy a lot because energy is what all of this is all about.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of us don't understand the depth of how important it is to understand your energy.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: We just use this term because it's a buzzword in the spiritual space, but no one actually really understands what it means to tap into energy.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the greatest energy source I refer to as God.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll refer to the greatest energy source that is as God moving forward.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you may resonate with the universe or the divine or something else.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not here to tell you how to think or who to be or anything else.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to share with you a pathway to reaching that divinity in a smooth way.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: When we actually acknowledge that these things happened, which impacted who I am now, which is impacting how I show up and how I view the world, well, then you can actually take some responsibility.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what the acknowledgement phase is all about.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's taking radical responsibility over the fact that we are creating the existence in which we live.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of you are still blaming other people, blaming your parents for why you are the way you are.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're blaming your partner, you're blaming your ex, you're blaming your siblings, you're blaming your boss, you're blaming everybody else because it's really, really scary to look at ourselves in the mirror and say, oh, I am the one that caused this.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or even if I'm not the one that caused this, I am not responsible for fixing this.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Having awareness is great, but taking full accountability is a completely different thing.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And most of us don't want to do that because it's really scary.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: What if we fuck up?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's the thought that we have.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or this is way too great of a pain for me to move through, is what some of us think.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: So taking acknowledgement, having acknowledgement over the fact that we are responsible for changing our course of action, it's a lot.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: I say that it takes the longest for people to reach awareness.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are already aware of some of your behaviors and habits that you want to change, truly like props to you because it takes the longest, it is the most difficult to become aware.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: However, where do people stay stuck the longest?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's from that gap of awareness to acknowledge it.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: People stay stuck here for years.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: You might be that person, or maybe you know someone who's like, well, I am this way because my dad, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I am this way because my first boyfriend, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And they're telling the same story.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I drink and I numb and I dissociate because 25 years ago, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like we all know these people.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: So they're stuck in this little in-between of the awareness and the acknowledgement.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not the pathway to ascension.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: There's literally three more steps after that.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: So becoming responsible for who we are and how we move forward, it's not an easy task.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to make that very clear.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it takes incredible courage to say, you know what?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: This thing happened to me.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: I had no control over it, but I get to decide how I want to move forward is incredibly empowering.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And what's on the other side of that is complete liberation.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: After the acknowledgement phase, we actually get to take action.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'll share a little bit about my story in a bit, but I have been in the health and healing space professionally for the last 10 years.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: I started off as a senior social worker working with children and families that were being investigated for abuse and neglect.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I then went on to be an online fitness coach.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that obviously has evolved into what it is today.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: If you are a part of Beyond the Physical, then you know.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the phase where we're all about action, right?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do this, follow this plan, eat this food, recite these mantras, read this book, like very actionable steps.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And this is great.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: We need to take action in order to move forward.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: However, there's a caveat to this because what I saw a lot in the coaching space is, and I might even say I would see it more in when I was a senior social worker.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: We'd say, okay, parents, you made this mistake.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do all of these things now in order to get your children back.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it was my job as the emergency response worker to investigate child abuse and neglect cases.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if it was a substantiated report, it was my job to physically remove the child.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it was another social worker's job to go in and work with the parents.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And what that plan looked like was hey, mom, you messed up.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to do X, Y, and Z in order to get your kids back.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: But there was something that I questioned when I was working in that position.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: I questioned why is it that we're seeing repeat offenders where social services has already been involved with the family, and the mom or the dad were able to do the work in order to get the children back, but why are we now involved again?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Anytime I would go out and investigate a case that there was prior history, I would ask this question, why am I seeing you again?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Why is our agency involved again?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And in some cases, it was what we called, you know, custody disputes, which are the absolute worst child cases there are.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Leave your kids out of it.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Don't like, if there's no harm to your children, you literally need to get along with your ex for the sake of the children.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Side note, we'll talk about more of that later.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: But in other cases, the parents genuinely didn't know how they had gotten back to that position.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them were struggling with substance abuse.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them, a lot of them, were continuing to be involved in a relationship that was dangerous for the children to be a part of or to even witness or to even hear, which is the DB cases.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I would see these cases of substance abuse or repeated DB cases, and I'd ask the parent, How are we here again?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: What did you do last time?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And they would share with me their plan.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: I go, okay, so you were told to do all these things and what else?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And they had nothing else.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I just I took these classes, I you know, paid the fines or did whatever I had to do, I got my kids back.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or I resolved the issue with CPS.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: I said, okay, there's a problem here.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing that happens when you're trying to lose weight.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: How many of you have been on this fitness journey and you go, okay, I'm going to do it.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't been working out, so I'm gonna go to the gym five days a week.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to eat super clean foods, I'm gonna take all the supplements, I'm not gonna start taking peptides now because people are taking peptides.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you start giving yourself this actionable plan, and then you follow the plan for four weeks, two weeks, six weeks, maybe, and then all of a sudden you look back, it's been a year, and you're right back to where you were.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Why does that happen?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: It happens because you took action without actually acknowledging why you got in that position in the first place.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: So there is a framework that we need to follow if we actually want true lasting change.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And taking action is that third step of the spiral.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm calling it a spiral intentionally because it's not like it's one, two, three, four.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's usually like this: one, two, three.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna hit the same trigger again back at awareness.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the intention and the beauty of understanding this framework is that when you get back to it, you'll actually be able to move through it faster.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be able to.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people will use the term quantum leap.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: So we'll use that term for this.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be able to quantum leap into the next identity because you move through the spiral faster.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Some people, they might not even be aware of something.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: So if they're trying to solve a problem, like they have an obesity problem and they keep saying, Well, it's my genetics, it's not your genetics, right?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: You actually can fully take action towards doing different things that allow you to be in a healthy body.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: But if they continue to not become aware of the fact that they have control over how their body is, well, then they're going to stay that way forever.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: But what if they do become aware, right?
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: They become aware and then they start to acknowledge that, oh gosh, actually, okay, this obesity problem might run in my family, but it doesn't have to be my experience.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I can do certain actions, go to the gym, eat clean, drink my water, get rest, um, avoid, you know, toxic foods.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: I can do certain things that allow me to be healthier, right?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so maybe you're living this path of good health, good physical health for six months, you're feeling really great.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then you go on a two-week-long European summer vacation.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And during the summer vacation, you are starting to go back to old behaviors, you're eating sweets every single day, you're eating, you know, carbs only, no protein, you completely not moved your body in two weeks, and you start to spiral.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, wait, I'm gonna go back to how I used to be.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because you've moved through the spiral, you'll actually be able to catch yourself, find the awareness quickly, and then move through the spiral faster because you already acknowledge that, oh gosh, I already know that I'm the one that's responsible for changing this or for doing something different because I've done it before, and I know what the actionable steps are.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: So you move through the spiral fast.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: You come home from your two week two-week long vacation, and you're not even stressed out.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, ah, okay, I already know what I need to do.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to get back to the gym, get back on a routine.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: You move through it faster, right?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the spiral isn't like you move through it one time and then all of a sudden you're like healed and good forever.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's literally not how it works.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: We are continuously evolving into our next self.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: We're always becoming our next level self.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to think of your game like a video game, your life, rather, like a video game.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Our life is literally a video game.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's a whole other story.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about that next time.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: But our life is a video game and you get to decide how you want to play the game.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: And just like when you're on level one of Mario Kart, right, you go through a pretty easy round, you win, and then now you're on level two of Mario Kart, right?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then each round after that, it gets a little bit more challenging.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's a little bit more issues.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the things that were once kind of difficult on level one, you're doing them pretty quickly because you've already had to do it hundreds of times now that you're at level four, right?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same exact thing when it comes to life.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to experience the same types of triggers, you're going to experience the same types of thoughts, even that will generate a certain spiral potentially.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so it's your job to catch it quickly and then move through it appropriately.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: When you actually take action towards becoming the person of your highest self, your ascended self, when you do these actions long enough, you'll actually start to anchor in a new identity.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the fourth phase of the spiral.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Anchor.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even have to think about going to the gym.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Or when I'm out getting food, I don't have to think like, oh gosh, let me make sure to get something that has protein on the plate.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Let me make sure that I, you know, drink water in the morning.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't think about these things because I've already anchored in the identity of that of a physically healthy person.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: I value my physical health.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't need to convince myself to go to the gym.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Although sometimes you do, and that's just a part of being in this space.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's just a part of it sometimes.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: But more times than not, I'm not really convincing myself to like go to the gym.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to convince myself to eat healthier because I have become the identity of someone who chooses good health.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm definitely not perfect.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely drink alcohol once in a while.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: I smoke cigarettes out once in a while.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not about being perfect.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of you need to hear this because if you're watching this, you're probably a fellow perfectionist who thinks you have to do everything perfectly in order to succeed, and you absolutely don't.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, that mind mentality is what's keeping you from ascending.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're literally blocking yourself because you think you have to be perfect.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: When I came here today to record this, I was thinking, oh my gosh, I don't even know what I'm gonna say.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: I like didn't script anything out.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: When I used to podcast, I used to like have a whole script and then I look at it, and then I thought, what the heck is the point of that?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I am the medicine.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever is flowing through me isn't even mine, anyways.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's a message from God Himself.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever is being said needs to be said, and it's gonna come out the exact way that it needs to come out.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I've rooted in the identity of that of a channel.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm coaching, when I'm teaching, when I'm speaking, when I'm having interviews or on podcasts, I don't need to bother myself with this frustration of you need to be perfect and you need to make sure you hit X, Y, and Z points because I already know that I am an open channel.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: And whatever flows through me is exactly what's meant to flow through me.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: So you see, I reach this point because I've anchored in the identity of that of a channel.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I've anchored in that of a healthy person.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of you are starting to go to the gym or read the new book or start the new language.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: You want to learn a new language, you're starting to do all these things, but you're not doing it long enough.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't actually become a habit.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it needs to become a habit.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because when it becomes a habit, it then becomes a pattern.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when it becomes a pattern for long enough, it becomes your personality.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: And when it becomes your personality, it is now your new identity.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Do you follow?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if we were to reverse reverse engineer this, right, a lot of you are living in an identity because you're unaware of the pattern.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you keep doing the same habits, which is why you are the way that you are.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, like you could look at this forwards or backwards, but if you are looking about ascending, which is what we're talking about here, ascending into your higher self, connecting with God, being the hot your highest version that you can be while you have this experience on earth.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: If this is what you want to do, then you need to actually challenge yourself to do the uncomfortable longer than you want to.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Go to the gym, you know, that one extra day of the week.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Push yourself even, we could even go smaller.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Push yourself that one extra rep, right?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: You told yourself that you wanted to start meditating because everyone, myself included, keeps telling you that you need to meditate.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: So you tell yourself you need to meditate.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: You try one time, the thoughts are busy, and so you stop.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can't sit here then and complain to me that you don't have a regulated nervous system or that you're not able to connect with God, right?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Here that all of the time when people say, Well, I don't really get these types of downloads that you get.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing in life.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know what my next step is, or I don't know what my next step is, but I don't know how to get there.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I say, Well, do you meditate?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: They say, No, I've tried.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't work for me.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not for me.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's the problem.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're not allowing your body to sit long enough to actually receive the message that your higher power is trying to give you.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to sit there in your meditation, let the thoughts come through of what am I doing for work today?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Did I eat lunch today?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: What am I supposed to go?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, oh, I have to this.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Let them pass.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Let them pass.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: I like to look at my thoughts like clouds.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: I literally look up like they're clouds.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: I go, okay, okay, okay.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, when I let the clouds pass, I go, all right, you're done now.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Back to my body.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I sit there.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: And before you know it, you do this long enough, you anchor in this new habit long enough, you'll start to see, oh, not only do the thoughts actually go away and I can sit here long enough to receive, but oh my goodness, what I'm receiving is giving me the clarity in answering the questions that I've been asking.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get out of this job?
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: How do I find the courage to open my heart to a new relationship?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: How do I set this really difficult boundary with my mom who I love so much?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: How do I tell a friend that their actions are no longer in alignment with the type of lifestyle I live and we might need to create some space?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: When you have these questions and then you worry yourself with how do you actually answer the questions, it's likely you're not sitting with yourself long enough to get the answer.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because trust me, the answer comes like this.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's so quick.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, gut says this, I do this.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Gut says no, I do no.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's very quick.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to actually do the hard thing long enough, anchor it in, so that it just becomes who you are.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, when you have anchored in.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: These new behaviors, these new patterns, these new habits, you have ascended into a different identity.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: You have gotten to level two after level one.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're on level three after level two, right?
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: You've literally gotten to the next level.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Again, spiritualists may call this quantum, or actually in quantum physics, we'd say this is quantum leaping, right?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can quantum leap, you can um Oprah used to call this something like aha moments, right?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: She used to refer to this as like having an aha moment where you're like, whoa, it's like all of a sudden you're literally a different person, even in the matter of just an hour conversation.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you want to call it, you can call it.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: My point is that you can get to this point of becoming the person that you want to become when you move through this spiral.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: So you can take a look at your life right now and ask yourself, where am I not super happy?
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: And is it in my body?
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: Am I not super like happy with how I look and how I feel?
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Am I not super happy in my relationship?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Am I not super happy with my work?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Am I not super happy with the friend group that I've chosen?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Am I not super happy with the place that I live?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Is it time to relocate?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be honest with yourself about where it is that you're at that's causing you this distress.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I promise you, the longer that you avoid being your highest self, the more that you're calling in dysfunction, disease, and in many cases, catastrophe.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want you to get to this point of catastrophe.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've gotten to that point.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll share your with my my stories.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: I have this thing I feel God tries to um communicate to us when it's when it's time for a quantum leap, when it's time to step into a next identity.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: I have this thing that God tries to uh tell us three different times.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: The first time it's a loving pat on the cheek.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, wake up.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe a loving tap on the shoulder when you're trying to wake up your little kid, excuse me, wake up, hello, right?
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Problem is, most of us are avoiding that little tap.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's like a nice big slap to the face.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, hello, hello, are you there?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: And unfortunately, some of us avoid even the slap.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then what happens is we get absolutely punched in the face by life and you get knocked out.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's never the intention of the divine, but that's sometimes what is necessary in order to shake you into seeing that you are the co-creator of this experience.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not happy, you need to do something different.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: I have been I have been lovingly tapped, I have been slapped, I have been punched in the face in different areas of my life.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when I look back at why did I get punched, what knocked me out, it was me ignoring the signs and signals of the creator, of yourself.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Me ignoring it because it was more comfortable to keep our protective shields.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: It was more comfortable to put ourselves in this position because it felt more safe.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the reality is sometimes the thing that you think is keeping you safe is actually the thing that's slowly killing your soul.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll share what it means to have a protective shield.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of us, most of us that are watching this and listening to this, have this protective shield because of the circumstances that we had when we were younger.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when we have experienced trauma from a young age especially, then we tend to put on this protective shield uh unconsciously without knowing.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so in the next episode, I'm gonna share with you what shields I put on consciously and unconsciously, and more importantly, how we can start to learn how to remove that armor so that we can actually live a heart centered life and become a magnet to all that we desire.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you would like to stay a part of this conversation, follow, subscribe, hit whatever button you need to hit, and I'll see you on the next one.