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#20210613 - Wives Matter - Ephesians 5:22-24 · Calvary Church with Ed Taylor Podcast

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Welcome to the study of God's word with pastor and author.
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Ed, Taylor recorded live from Calvary Chapel in Aurora,
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Colorado to learn more about the many resources available,
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through abounding Grace media, visit us online at Calvary
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Aurora dot org, or download our free app on all platforms.
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And now, here's Pastor Ed to take us into our study.
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Amen. Amen.
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Take your Bibles. Open them to Ephesians Chapter
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5, Ephesians chapter 5 and a Bible study that I've entitled
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wives matter wives matter, why? Because it's easy to become
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confused and mixed up and how to lead our families in the 21st
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century. There are a lot of opinions out
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there on what is right? And what is wrong?
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What is moral? What is immoral?
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What's correct and incorrect. Well, what is the role of the
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wife? What's the role of the husband?
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And there's now a whole new dialogue and discussion on top
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before we ever get to definitions of wives and
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husbands which can be so confusing and mixed up in our
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culture. But now we are mixing up what
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our identity is and who we are. And even though we were born a
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certain way, now there's this emphasis, you can choose to be
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whoever you want and live that way and demand people to accept
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that and to change their definitions.
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But, you know, while the world is changing God's.
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Word doesn't change. While the world is changing
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their opinions and changing their minds on things and and
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emphasizing different definitions for what
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husband-and-wife mean. The Bible doesn't change.
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And yeah, we live in a culture where marriage is being
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redefined husband and wife are being redefined.
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I mean, sometimes they don't even use those words anymore.
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Though, use words like we have significant others and we have
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life Partners or house, buddies or whatever.
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It might be these days. And we need to come back to
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God's word, because he has specific Hope for us in our
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family relationships for you and for me he has Direction and
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definition for us. And in this series on Family
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Matters. We're addressing these roles
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from God's perspective, what God has a God invented, marriage God
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invented people he created us, he knows what's best for us and
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he not only invented marriage but he defines it for us.
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And today, we look at in the order of that.
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Paul the Apostle writes to the church in Ephesus, we look at
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the wife and notice in verse 22 wives submit to your own
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husband's as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife.
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As also Christ is head of the church and he is the savior of
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the body therefore just as the church is subject to Christ.
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So let the wives be to their own husband's in everything.
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So let's pause there and just address it the way it is.
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I recognize that when the word submission is used right away,
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it's not an easy word to hear. There are a lot of words that
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aren't easy to hear. There are a lot of words that we
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use that are difficult to listen to words like death and he'll
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and depression and recessions and being fired.
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You might, you might look at the word divorce or foreclosure or
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cancer or infertile. Those are all hard words
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especially when they hit home in your own personal life.
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Submission is one. His words, it's hard.
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It goes against the grain that that's why we need to be
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reminded to submit because it goes against the grain but when
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it comes to teachings on marriage and on wives we need to
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allow the Bible to say what it says and we need to receive it
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so that the Holy Spirit can help us.
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But I know right away, they'll be defensiveness because of your
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own personal situation but there's really no need to be
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defensive but rather open to a fresh.
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Each work of the Holy Spirit. Submission is one of those
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harder words to hear, and I recognize they can be
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misunderstood because it has been misused and it's been used
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to hurt people and to hurt women.
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But submission is never an excuse for someone for someone
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to make anyone, or we could put it in the context of a marriage.
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So, mission is never an excuse for a husband.
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To abuse his wife, or to make her, or demand that she be a
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doormat or a whipping post, it's never.
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Okay, for abuse in marriage. And it certainly has been used
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that way and it's been used wrongly and on biblically as we
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speak of submission. It may cause some of you ladies
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to respond in the flesh and want to protect yourself but my
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prayer has been as I know ending up in this direction.
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Knowing what we're going to look at knowing what we're going to
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be reminded. My prayer has been that you
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receive this, that it moves our church and motivates us that our
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homes in this series will be revitalized.
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And refocus on what's important that we would become the
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examples in our community of what it looks like for a
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marriage to make it in this world.
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World because we must be the church.
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So ladies women be careful not to fall into the Trap of both
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being defensive but also be careful not to fall into trap
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thinking that men are your enemies or that.
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I is a pastor. Are your enemy or I could
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already think, you know, anticipating what's going to be
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going on, not necessarily out loud.
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But in the hearts of those listening was like, well here it
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is. Again a man telling me how to be
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a wife. I'm actually not, I don't know
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how. Be a wife.
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I know what God's word has to say, but I'm not a wife, I'll
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never be a wife. I don't know how it is to be a
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wife, but I do know this when I read the Bible and I fulfill
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what God's role for me as a husband, I know that when women
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wise will read the Bible, you can live out God's will for your
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life as a wife. I know that for a fact and I
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just wanted to Claire to you that.
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I'm not your enemy that both has a brother in Christ.
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As a pastor over this flock, just coming along side of you.
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I'm not your enemy. I love you.
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I want to see what's best in your home.
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I would love for our pastors to have less marriage counseling.
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I would love for our pastors to overstay, to be involved in far
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less divorces. I would love to see our pastors
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and our leadership here. Move forward in reaching the
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city, then dealing with angry bitter, people all the time
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because their homes are broken. God has a will for your life and
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if you will simply come to him and trust him with your life, he
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will lead you and guide you You and disciple, you wives, as the
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ladies that God wants you to be. And so, as mom's as wives as
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single women, even if you're divorced or widowed today, God
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wants to speak to you on the topic of marriage.
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Why? Because a marriage saved is a
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powerful thing to have that testimony.
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It's one of the encouraging things.
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When we have our marriage retreats to have that season of
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time where a few couples are identified to come up and share
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God's testimony in our life on How bad it got?
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How close it was to utter destruction and God rescued
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them. That's powerful.
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There's a powerful thing when God enters in and saves a
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marriage and it begins here. Notice again in verse 22, wives
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submit to your own husband's. There's really two words used
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here in Ephesians to describe the wives role in the home.
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It's submit and subject, submission and subjection.
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And if you look these words up in the original language, If
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they are of similar origin, they're almost the same exact
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word. And the word is defined as serve
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or willingly respond a willingly yield.
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It also comes to us from the world of the military that
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speaks of submission and falling in line in an orderly fashion
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doing things, right. And here the wife is told and
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instructed to yield and willingly respond to her own
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husband's. As to the Lord, this is an
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instruction to your own. Has, you're not to have this
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mindset with every husband, every man, this is for your own
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husband. They say that twice.
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You notice, he says it again, in verse 24, to their own husbands,
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your focus to be on your husband, not on anyone elses.
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No one else's husband or any man has the authority over your
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life, like your own husband and you entered into this
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relationship. Ladies by taking a covenant on
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your marriage day and of all the things that it was beautiful and
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wonderful on your wedding day. The most important part of your
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wedding day where your vows and your commitment to your husband,
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and one of the commitments that you make, and if we officiate,
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if I officiate the wedding, one of the covenants, you will make,
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it will be exactly what the Bible says, you will verbally
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Before your husband, your future husband and the witnesses that
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you will willingly submit to them until the return of Jesus
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Christ. So you actually verbalize the
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word of God in your marriage. Vows submission is the
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willingness to cooperate with and adapt to the needs of those.
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We love. You could say wives and I'm
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quoting Linea height, secure Pastor skips wife, a quote, let
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go of the Rope, don't have a tug-of-war with your husband, if
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you let go. Go.
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God will take hold and they won't be able to wrestle with
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God. And so it is Linnaeus.
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A here, she says, you know, it's not always going to be easy.
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It may not be easy Day, One Moment, One first breath of
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being a wife, may be the beginning of a very difficult
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Road for you. But you need to learn to let go
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and allow the Lord to be on your side.
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And so we begin speaking of wives today because that's the
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order, but men, you get it next and I don't want you skipping
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out. We already know who you are, we
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know exactly why. You're, if you're here today,
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you must be here tomorrow because we're actually not
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letting you go all week. You're going to stay here all
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week, until while I prepare, and put the finishing touches
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because these things go together.
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There are two rules in the home, not one, your home in the
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success of your home. Does not depend entirely upon
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wives, The success in the home is a wife and a husband living
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out their god-given roles as one.
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And so men, I don't want you skipping out next week.
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See when you guys men when you throw around passages like this
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and you just walk you start walking around telling you
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arrived, I knew it, I knew it. Pastor Ed was right you must
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submit to me woman. You are backwards and upside
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down and you can tell me how it went because it's not going to
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go very well. Submission is not anything.
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You can demand you can't demand respect man.
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You can only earn it and you can't demand submission.
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It can only be an obedient choice of the wife unto the Lord
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that you get to enjoy. It is an obedient choice of the
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wife unto the Lord that is enjoyed by the husband and
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children. If they're in the home you can't
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demand it. If you are in a position of
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demanding it then you are neither scriptural or spiritual.
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As a matter of fact, if this word or this scripture is used
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by the husband in the home as a means of manipulation or guilt
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or even as a marital Ben, you and your home or upside down,
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that is not God's will man. Your wife is not your personal
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slave. She's a help me a perfect
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compliment to you equal. Listen wives you are equal to
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your husband, in God's eyes in every way and that's important
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you receive that because unfortunately over the years,
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there has been a subjugation of women under the We of men
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somehow sending the message or even making women less than men,
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and that's just not true. You are equal in every way.
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Women don't ever doubt this. God places a high value on every
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single woman. A woman is not less than a man
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when it comes to their value, I'll throw out a very fancy
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word. If you want to use it in
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conversation in the future. It's a big Seminary, theological
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word. You can say that I am
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ontologically equal with men. Ontological, it simply means
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nature men and women were both created in the image of God and
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are equal when it comes to their value.
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Now let's just be clear here even though we're equal in
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value, we have different roles. Men and women are profoundly
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different. There are much that is the same
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but we are different. We are different in how we see
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the world were different in our physical makeup or different in
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our DNA. A identity were different in our
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approach for different anatomically.
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We're different there's just no way around that in a world that
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wants to blur the lines. It's just common sense shows
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that we have differences among us.
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But although we have differences.
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Different doesn't mean bad. It just means different.
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And there are important differences under the banner of
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the Book of Genesis. Of our equality.
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A woman is an equal creation of God Made In His Image.
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And even in the beginning, man and woman were given equal
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dominion over God's creation and so ontologically were equal.
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We become perfect complements to one another.
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In marriage, the wife is to be a helper suitable for the husband.
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His completer. A wife is not to be her
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husband's competitor, but rather completer.
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And together with our differences, we become more than
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we could ever become individually.
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But along the way man's Fallen nature corrupted, this
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relationship and some of you experienced the pain of that in
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a very difficult way, where men can become very misogynistic,
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very degrading and can view women as something other than
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their god-given right in society and it's always wrong and it's a
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million times more wrong in the Church of Jesus Christ.
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Or Jesus has liberated women. Jesus has placed women back in
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the place that they belong. But it isn't anything new,
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unless you think it's like a 21st century thing.
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It's not, it's been with us from the beginning of time, you know,
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the Battle of the Sexes. The competition between the
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Sexes began in the Garden of Eden.
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The moment after sin. There was frustrating tension
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between men and women. You know, in the first century
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Jew, the Jews used to pray this prayer.
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Listen to it. It's sad.
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And I quote God, thank you that. I'm not a gentile that I'm not a
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woman and that I'm not a dog. The Roman the Romans believe
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that a woman was just one step above the slave but many steps
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below a man. Women were the property of the
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husband and they were treated like a child Romans would often
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have three women in their lives. They would have the official
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wife that would be giving them the children.
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They would have a wife to take care of the Affairs of the home.
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And then they would have a wife like a concubine to take care of
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any of the man's sexual desires. And they just Viewed women as
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property, which is always a sin. But God has said, in his word,
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in Galatians 3:28, there is neither Jew, nor Greek, neither
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slave nor free, neither male nor female, you are all one in
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Christ. Jesus, and God has placed the
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most highest value on you, ladies that can possibly be
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placed on a human being. And that was the blood of his
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son Jesus Christ and you are equal in every way.
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In the eyes of God, it's important to understand the
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point me to here by the Holy Spirit as he begins on this
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section. In Ephesians, the point being
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made here is in the realm of roles and responsibilities and
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the idea of submission is a universal idea.
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It's not simply the responsibility of the wife,
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let's go back and look at this. So you can just go back.
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A few verses, to verse 15 of Ephesians chapter 5, we don't
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have time to develop this but when My when I taught this verse
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by verse all those studies are up on the web.
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We developed this principle of the broader teaching of
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submission because submission is very important and valuable in a
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culture in our society. And the point is made here in
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Ephesians beginning in verse 15 as he's writing to everyone he
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says see then that you walk uprightly or carefully or
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circumspectly depending on what's in your Bible.
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See then what you walk circumspectly not as fool's but
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as wise Redeeming the time Because the days are evil.
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Therefore, do not be unwise but understand what the will of the
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Lord is, and we go. Okay.
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What's the will the Lord Verse 18 do not be drunk with wine in
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which is dissipation, but be filled with the spirit speaking
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to one another in Psalms, and hymns, and spiritual songs
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singing and making melody in your heart, to the Lord giving.
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Thanks always for all things to God, the father, in the name of
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our Lord, Jesus Christ. Christ submitting to one another
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in the fear of God. And then the next, very next
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thing, wives submit to your husband's verse 25, husbands
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love your wives and you will move on to the different roles
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and responsibilities 6:1 children obey, your parents.
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These are all necessary responsibilities and roles that
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we have in order to live a life. Not only that pleases god,
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listen not only that pleases God and brings him glory but also a
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life that you Enjoy. Do you know, it's God's will for
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you to be happy and enjoy your life and enjoy the place of life
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that you're in right now that we often refer to that as
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contentment. And I know we as pastors, when
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we make that point will make a strong distinction in the Bible
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and it is a Bible distinction between joy and happiness.
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I want to remind you that even though there's a distinction
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between them, God wants you to have both of them.
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He wants you to be happy and joyful.
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He wants you to be happy in your circumstances and joy.
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Joyful in him. And as you are, you find that as
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you enjoy, as you enjoy happiness and experience Joy.
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It comes through your willing obedience to fulfill your role
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in the home and a key to biblical submission, is to
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realize that Jesus himself is the greatest example, I want you
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to hold your places in Ephesians.
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Would you turn back to John for a moment with me?
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The Gospel of John chapter 4, the greatest example of
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submission is Jesus himself God in human flesh, leaving Glory
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coming to Earth and listen to his attitude, his role and his
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responsibilities as the Eternal Son of God, John 4:34, Jesus
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said to them. My food is to do the will of him
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who sent me I am. Willingly doing my father's will
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look at chapter 6. Now verse 38 6:38 for, I have
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come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him
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who sent me and as you're turning back to Ephesians 5.
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Let me read to you, Luke 22:42. Father, if it is.
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Your will take this cup away from me.
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Nevertheless, not my will but yours be done.
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Done. Jesus.
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God, the son willingly and voluntarily submitted and wives.
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That is what God is. Commanding you to do to
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voluntarily and willingly submit to your husband Submission in
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the home, begins with a mutual submission to Jesus, Mutual
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submission. In the fear of God, it is not
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solely the responsibility of the wife to be in submission to
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Jesus Christ. But rather everyone in the home
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is to be submitted to Christ that our lives are be submitted
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to him and it's out of that spiritual submission.
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It's another way of saying love the Lord God, with all your
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heart, soul and mind love your neighbor as yourself.
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Well, the same can be said about your submission.
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There is mutual submission to the Lord, Jesus Christ in your
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life where you've willingly and voluntarily submit yourself to
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do, the will of God. Then there is a mutual
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submission in the home. And the wives have a unique
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command, to submit to their own husbands.
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And there's two things there. There's an attitude in the home,
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that's reciprocal, right? We're submitting to one another
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in the Lord. But there's also an atmosphere
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in the home, and that is a reverence for God.
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So the Holy Spirit speaks through Paul and says wives
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submit willingly yield voluntarily surrender to your
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husband's just as you do with Jesus because notice back in
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verse 22, again submit to your own husband's as to the Lord,
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for the husband is the head of his wife.
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Now it's another problem that's often felt by ladies thinking,
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man, what do you mean about? My husband is better than me.
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Doesn't say that or more importantly Than me, doesn't say
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that you actually next to the word ahead, you could write this
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word Authority, which, you know, some of you are like, well that
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doesn't help me Ed my husband's, an ally of authority but the
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authority. The Authority is similar to the
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authority of Jesus. You see, in the home there is
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order and the order is, your husband is the authority in your
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home, which is where we get men that you are to be the leader of
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your home. A lot of times, men are upset
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about that you like well who said I'm the head of Home the
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Lord did and he says it right here.
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You are the final Authority in your home, which means that
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you're going to answer to God, for the responsibility you've
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been given as the authority of your home.
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But, you know, your husband's Ladies, as you choose to submit
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to your husband's as unto the Lord, and again the banner of
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this because inevitably, I'll get emails of some extreme
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disgust thing that says, well, why should I submit to this?
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Why should it simple? Listen, never in a million
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years. Years.
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Will I ever teach you not to the bible?
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Teach you to submit to something sinful, never ever ever.
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That's always the banner, but just in case, it's not real.
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You know, you need reminding again, you're never called to
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submit to something that's sinful never ever you with me,
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ladies. Never so, never know.
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Don't let anyone ever try to convince you?
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Well, you know, it's okay because it's not.
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Okay, you don't submit to sin, but most of the problems in the
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home, actually, aren't sinful at all.
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It's a lack of A mission because of a fleshly response, that's
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really the issue that's being dealt with you and your
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submission is required in the home.
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That's God's desire for you you so, so you think well, you know,
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wait a minute, I did. I don't like the idea of my
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husband being my authority, but you see, your husband also has
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an authority. He's not the final authority.
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Jesus is the final Authority so you can take comfort in knowing
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that God is the head of your home.
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And if your husband is failing, then you are then to submit to
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Christ and submit to your husband's as unto the Lord, not
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to sin. But as unto the Lord, but your
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husband has a final Authority. We're not doing this on our own
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Jesus is the head of our home, just like he's the head of the
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church. And Genesis 3.
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According to Genesis 3, sin has messed up this cooperative This
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Cooperative relationship sin is messed up every relationship in
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our company today. So, the reason why we fight, why
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we get angry with one another, why we give each other the
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silent treatment, all of that above.
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It's all because of our sinful selfishness.
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Remember we learned last time. The biggest problem in your
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marriage is not them. It's you.
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And your own personal selfishness.
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My own personal selfish is that, that is the reality and sin is
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corrupted, all that God is redeeming, and buying back,
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taking us back from all these sinful habits that we've
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created, when you think of old sinful habits, I want you to
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think of what the Bible declares the flesh.
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When you hear the flesh being mentioned, very rarely is it
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referring to the skin on your bones.
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It's referring to your old sinful habit patterns.
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Your immediate Sinful response, when you're hurt when you're
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rejected, when you're angry when things, don't go your way that
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response that is not pleasing to God.
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And when we talk about these difficult things, you know,
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submission is hard, it's not natural, and submission is
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never, rarely needed. When we agree, when we agree, we
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enjoy life together when we agree.
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This is so fun. Maybe this is your house, maybe
26:03
it's not, but but he whenever we're like, hey, what do you
26:06
want for dinner tonight Marie? You know what the answer is?
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I don't know, what do you want? Like why would I ask you if and
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then you go round and round and round?
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And then finally, you're like, okay this is what I want.
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Well, you know, I don't want that like what is your problem,
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one fix something to eat then, just get what you want?
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No, I want to know what you want to, you know, that's like how
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many little things like that but John that rare occasion at
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dinner when you both pick the same place, there's unity and
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joy. And it's like that in other
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areas, isn't it? You know, dinner is not really
26:48
the most significant thing in our lives.
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But I'm saying this when marriage is working, it's fun,
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it's enjoyable. There's a blessedness to Unity
26:59
and wives. You have a very big
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responsibility in your home to help bring about that Unity.
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You're not solely responsible will get to the husband's next
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time. You have a really large
27:15
responsibility, hold your place. Would you turn over to Proverbs
27:19
Chapter? 14?
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Proverbs Chapter 14, it'll be your Proverbs reading tomorrow.
27:24
If you go through, Proverbs one by one, but I want to show it to
27:27
you today so that you can understand the role that God
27:33
gives to you Psalm 14, excuse me.
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Proverbs 14 verse 1. In Proverbs 14, verse 1, listen.
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Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it
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down with her own hands. And can I say, wives one of the
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ways that you destroy your own home is by disobeying God's role
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for you in the home? A Biblical Christ, centered
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marriage thrives in today's world wives submitting to their
28:09
own, husband's husband's, loving their wives, as Christ loves the
28:13
church. I know submission is very
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unnatural, but I rarely to my knowledge today, in my memory, I
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cannot recall ever meeting a wife.
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Who is experiencing the love of her husband?
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That isn't willing to submit to that love when she feels the
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Safety and Security of unconditional love in the home.
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In our imperfections, in our weaknesses, I really cannot
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recall a woman saying to me, I just unless they're just like
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super rebellious and they got different issues that God's
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dealing in their life. But in when there's an
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atmosphere of unconditional love and a Safety and Security The
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submission comes easy or I would say easier, submission comes
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easier for a wife, when she feels secure in a husband's love
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for her, that is unconditional. And that she knows without a
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doubt that he will be there for her.
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Those are the roles, but you can only do it by God's strength
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marriage can be the most exciting thing on the Earth.
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The closest thing to heaven on Earth, people should be able to
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look at our marriage and see the mystery of Jesus.
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Jesus love for us together. Marriage is modeled after
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Redemption, it's to point people heavenward toward Jesus, but you
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know is close as it can be to a taste of Heaven on Earth
29:38
marriage. Can also taste like hell on
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Earth and it can be so painful and challenging and difficult.
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When a husband isn't loving his wife as Christ loved the church
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and a wife is not submitting to her husband as out toward
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understanding his authority and Understanding God's authority
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over her husband praying for him.
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And as we mentioned earlier, Peter will say this, Peter will
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say this when he addresses husband's, he, he uses the
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phrase, even if some don't obey the word.
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Even if some don't obey the word, it is a wise choice to
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submit to your husband's as unto the Lord up to the point of sin.
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That's the line up to the point of sin.
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In marriage, you know, it takes work, it takes diligence, it
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takes effort to invest in our marriages and that's there's
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this natural but unspiritual desire in both the husband and
30:37
the wife to unbiblical e, rule over the house to exact a Power
30:44
Trip on each other. But with the right attitude of
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mutual submission, and the right atmosphere of a healthy fear of
30:51
the Lord, the wife's loving submission to the the husband
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will find out in our next study is the husband's responsibility
30:58
to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
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It's a beautiful thing. Now as we wind down some of you
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Wise by now might be thinking, that's fine and good Ed but you
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don't know my husband. I may or may not know your
31:13
husband but I've met him a thousand times.
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We've seen our fair share of difficult and I may have been
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your husband in many ways in my actions toward my own wife.
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And knowing what she's had to put up with with me.
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You see you may look and go a my husband's know.
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Jesus Christ, that's for sure. He's a creep and a mean man and
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he doesn't he says he goes to be, we go to church but he
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doesn't really live like that at home.
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But you know, God isn't taking you down that road to find
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excuses for you, not to be a Godly woman.
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He's not laying that out for you.
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And here you are being told once again to submit into a very
32:00
difficult situation, to surrender yourself to Jesus, so
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that you might surrender yourself to your husband and not
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rule over him. There are many, born-again women
32:10
listening to me who lead their homes and rule over their
32:13
husbands. And that's not God's will for
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your life. It's contrary to the word of
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God. I know sometimes it's because
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the husband isn't fulfilling his Rule.
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And I know sometimes there's a woman that Is leading the home
32:27
and taking all the leadership because the husband doesn't have
32:29
a strong walk with the Lord, or maybe he doesn't have a strong
32:32
personality, or maybe he's a hypocrite, or maybe he's a
32:35
drunkard, or maybe there's a thousand other things, but I
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found the more a spiritual woman.
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Truly is the deeper. She will desire to do that,
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which pleases Jesus and come alongside of her husband to help
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him lead. Just submit to him.
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Why it may be. The only way he gets saved and
32:54
made the only way that he gets right with the Lord, it may be
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the only way that God will Infuse in your home.
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The kind of power that's needed for you to survive.
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And I know when you hear the word submission, you cringe,
33:08
because it's hard, it's not just a word.
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That's given to a woman in relationship to her husband,
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though it's a word that God gives to every single believer.
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We live in submission so much. You may not met recognize it
33:19
anymore. Like right now in the context of
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our time together, there there is a mutual submission, we all
33:25
agree to that helps make an environment makes this
33:27
environment. One, the we're right now.
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In this moment we can receive the word of God, right?
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Like we have all decided that for the sake of myself, and
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others around me. I'm going to focus on the
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teaching of God's word that comes from the front of the
33:40
room. And I'm going to pay attention
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and I'm going to stay relatively quiet and and I'm going to focus
33:45
and take notes because I tell you what, right?
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If right now, someone decided not to be submissive Someone
33:50
just decided you know what? I'm gonna stand up and play my
33:53
tambourine back in the back row. Do you know?
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That would be very disruptive to our time right now?
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Or if there were 10 people that came with their the tambourine
34:01
band, traveling through town and they're coming to church here
34:04
and they're going to go, okay? Right at that moment.
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When the pastor makes a point, everybody stand up with your
34:08
tambourines and start singing. Don't you think that would
34:11
bother you? I think it would.
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I'll tell you what would happen everything would stop.
34:16
You would all watch the guys and the gals with the tambourines
34:19
and there would be a lack. Lack of mutual submission that
34:22
would immediately cause chaos among us but you are in an
34:28
environment where you go. No, I am willing.
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I really want to play my tambourine and I'm like thankful
34:33
that you are mentioning it right now.
34:35
It's my I have it in the car. Is that really a possibility?
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Because I bring it with me everywhere.
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No it's not a possibility. But if you did, you know, you
34:45
know is this a you that person I like playing my tambourine
34:47
everywhere but you left it in the car because you already
34:50
anticipated that I'm there for Bible study and the same thing.
34:54
If I Pastor in and his team is up here, leading worship.
34:58
And I decide, you know what, I think I want to teach right now,
35:00
and I walk up and I kind of bumpy in and I kick I hit the
35:03
drums and I it's time to teach, it's time to teach it would be
35:06
just weird. It would be weird and chaotic
35:10
because during the time of worship, even In my role.
35:13
As a pastor I willingly yield and submit myself to what God's
35:18
doing in the room. I'm not the most important
35:21
person here. God has a most important person
35:23
and so he gets the attention by are willing.
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Mutual submission are willing Mutual submission.
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And in the home, it's the same. If there is chaos and a lack of
35:39
submit, I would say this, there's a lack of submission
35:41
mutually then there's going to be chaos in your home.
35:45
But chaos in your home, does not minimize your responsibilities
35:50
wives to submit to your husband's your own husband's as
35:54
unto the Lord. And still yet, you're like but
35:59
Ed, my husband is a tyrant, he saved but you wouldn't know it.
36:04
There isn't any fruit in his life And I realized, there are
36:09
extreme, cases, extreme cases where drugs are involved, sexual
36:14
abuse, physical, abuse, dangers to kids listen if that's part of
36:19
your own extreme situation. That's time to get out to a
36:23
place of safety so that God can begin to sort things out.
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You're not to submit to these types of things.
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No, But here's the thing, we have a tendency to use the
36:34
extreme to try to define the normal.
36:39
And if you're not in an extreme situation today, you're just in
36:42
a difficult situation. The Bible stands true.
36:46
The extreme situations. You remove yourself for safety,
36:49
so you can get back to a normal situation but you can't use the
36:53
extreme or maybe the extreme of a long-distance past or a fears
36:58
or things that would bring you go.
37:00
You know, there's an exception, Ed to this verse and it's my
37:03
life. There is an exception to this
37:06
rule. This is why so many divorces
37:09
take place, why the divorce rate among the church is just as high
37:13
or higher sometimes than the world.
37:18
There are times where you do need to get to a place of
37:20
safety, but most of the time is an answer to get to a place of
37:24
humility before God because you know, submission obeying God's
37:27
word requires humility. It requires whenever we stand up
37:31
to demand our rights, were standing up in a position of
37:34
pride and arrogance. But rather we want to sit down
37:38
and we want to come Lo to submit ourselves to the Lord and say,
37:42
this is your will for my life. God remember, I learned
37:46
remember. We learned last time that one of
37:48
the greatest tools of discipleship in your life is
37:50
your spouse but you two are being discipled to what, why are
37:55
you being discipled by your spouse?
37:57
Why are you being discipled in this difficult situation so that
38:00
you might grow in Grace? That you might grow in your
38:03
dependence upon the Lord, you might grow in your prayer life.
38:06
That's why difficult. That's what difficulties do to
38:08
our lives. It drives us to our knees.
38:13
The Bible says in Proverbs 19 verse 14, houses and riches are
38:17
an inheritance from fathers. But a Prudent Wife is from the
38:22
Lord and might I say a Prudent Wife obeys.
38:25
The word Proverbs chapter 12 verse for an excellent wife is
38:30
the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is, like
38:34
rottenness in his bones and you see most homes are upside down
38:39
today because of disobedience. Apathy and a spiritual
38:43
rebellion, in one or two. Either the husband or the wife
38:50
and it's not God's will for you, ladies to run your house.
38:55
You're not the head, you have a different role, different
38:58
responsibilities, one that you can enjoy that, doesn't bring so
39:02
much pain and difficulty and confusion into your life, with
39:06
lack of submission. Listen jot it down a lack of
39:08
submission, always brings confusion, always, There is a
39:13
Cooperative effort in every home that when we are cooperating
39:17
with one another, it's just a beautiful thing, so much less
39:21
stress and difficulty in a messed-up marriage in a
39:24
difficult home, all it takes is one person to begin to, right?
39:28
The wrongs. All it takes is one person to
39:30
begin to fulfill God's role and ladies until you quit, fighting
39:34
with your husband. On the issues that are like, not
39:37
sinful issues, but issues until you stop fighting.
39:40
It's just going to be constant confusion and difficulty.
39:43
T, it's going to continue to be hard.
39:46
You're going to continue to feel isolated and alone.
39:50
Because your role is to submit to your husband and allow the
39:52
Lord to deal with him. Listen the Lord knows how to
39:55
deal with him. If it is not a simple decision,
39:59
it's just one you don't like You said I do?
40:04
Because I'll tell you what on the other end as we get to
40:06
husband's. There are times when their
40:08
decisions wives makes the husbands aren't happy with,
40:10
that's the normal human condition, but the response is
40:14
not to withhold love for the husband, right?
40:16
We just, cuz I just because our husbands upset in the home, you
40:19
don't you respond. You can't stop loving your
40:20
spouse. And the same is true for you.
40:24
You know? I just don't like what he's
40:25
doing right now. I don't like his decision.
40:26
I want it this way. You kiss.
40:28
Can't stop submitting because you don't like it.
40:31
No, wonder your house is upside down.
40:32
No wonder you're in a season of difficulty.
40:34
No wonder. You're starting to feel distant.
40:36
No, wonder, you're starting to think.
40:37
Oh, I don't love him anymore. Well, it may just be because you
40:42
aren't feeling the feelings of love anymore because you
40:44
purposely withheld yourself by not submitting.
40:48
So as we look at our homes and our roles, it doesn't matter if
40:51
everyone's getting divorced, it doesn't matter.
40:53
If all your friends are handling it this way or that way, it
40:57
doesn't matter. If the world says it's okay,
40:59
there's redefining things so that one of the new worlds
41:01
definitions is more attractive than God's definition, doesn't
41:05
matter. We need to choose to follow him,
41:07
no matter the cost church because your marriage is either
41:11
a symbol or a denial of Jesus Christ in his church.
41:16
And like I said, men will get to you next week because God has a
41:20
role for you as well. And I stand here today, living
41:25
proof that God can change in rescue, a marriage, and change a
41:29
man. And a woman.
41:30
You won't believe how much Marie has changed over the years.
41:40
But together we've changed dramatically.
41:42
We are not the punk. Rebellious kids.
41:44
We were when we got married. We are not the rebellious young
41:48
people that when we did get married, we just started a live,
41:52
our lives on her own. We're learning continually and
41:56
even though I can have a testimony like that and I'm very
41:58
grateful for it. It's like a gift from God to me.
42:01
My testimony is not the most important demonstration of the
42:05
healthy marriage. You know what it is?
42:07
God's word. If you will follow God's word,
42:10
you two will have a testimony. You will you'll be able to say,
42:15
man. We hit a rock.
42:16
Key Point here. We had a difficult point there
42:19
but when we collectively and mutually chose to follow God's
42:22
word, he began to work. And he began to turn things
42:27
around and still one more thing. You are still here and you're
42:32
thinking yeah but add I've been doing this for 10 years and
42:35
nothing has changed. And it's been hard, 10 years.
42:41
I can only imagine how hard it's been.
42:45
But I'll tell you something, a lot of things have changed in
42:47
those 10 years. Number one, you've changed.
42:51
You've become a softer more moldable person.
42:56
More moldable woman in the hands of God.
42:59
Number two, Let me see, you may not see this, but let me remind
43:03
you because of your choice to willingly submit in the areas
43:06
God's called you over the last 10 years, and you don't see much
43:09
change in your spouse. Let me tell you.
43:10
Number two, things have not gotten worse because of your
43:14
willingness. Disobedience.
43:16
Because you could have made things much worse by just
43:19
joining in and saying, you know what, if he doesn't, then I
43:22
won't, but we're reminded once again, aren't we?
43:26
Someone else's sin against us, is never God's permission for us
43:31
to respond in sin. You will never hear from Heaven,
43:36
okay, that you've been waiting for this day, okay?
43:41
Wife today's the day. Unleash.
43:44
The Fury. No, Jesus says vengeance.
43:49
Is mine. Saith the Lord.
43:51
And instead of taking things into our own hands, we can trust
43:54
God, with our lives, with our families.
43:57
With our singleness submissions important for you, widows for
44:02
you singles, as we submit unto the Lord.
44:06
We find our satisfaction in Him, Father, thank you for your word
44:11
today, it is a powerful one to us challenging, for sure, but so
44:16
good. As we are reminded, Of your will
44:20
for our lives in our marriages. And so I pray for the challenges
44:23
today for the difficulties. I pray God for the marriages
44:26
that are doing great. And one of we have just that
44:28
testimony. Yes, things are going well.
44:31
Thank you. God, they're going well because
44:33
of your faithfulness, not our own good works.
44:37
We just see what you say and follow you.
44:39
We have ears to hear when your spirit says and we're going to
44:41
do it. So we want to give you the glory
44:45
that you've brought us thus far, and then you have you brought us
44:49
thus far and you brought us this far so that you might take us
44:52
all the way. So bless, the marriage has bless
44:55
the singles Comfort. The widows may they be
44:58
encouraged in you today, in Jesus name.
45:02
Amen, we pray that you've been encouraged by this Bible.
45:07
Study delivered live from the sanctuary of Calvary, Aurora for
45:11
prayer or a copy of the study called At 877, 30 Grace, that's
45:17
eight 77304, 2:53 or visit us online at Calvary, Aurora
45:24
dot-org, be blessed as you worship Jesus this week.
45:13
At 877, 30 Grace, that's eight 77304, 2:53 or visit us online
45:22
at Calvary, Aurora dot-org, be blessed as you worship Jesus
45:27
this week.