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The Art of Gratitude: The Secret Power That Heals, Attracts, and Transforms · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real and powerful.
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Well, hello, everybody. This is Diva Mia, and today I want to talk a little bit about gratitude.
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Gratitude is very important in relationships, and there is quite an art to actually having gratitude.
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It's important whenever you're trying to grow financially, physically,
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emotionally, and in your relationships and love life.
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Do a little practice with me. Now, if you're not driving, you can do this.
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If you're driving, please don't do this.
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But close your eyes, take a deep breath, breathe in, and think of one thing
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or one person or a moment in life that you're really grateful for.
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How does that make you feel?
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It just changes your whole perspective. The reality is that every day we should be grateful.
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Every day there's so much in our lives to be grateful for.
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It's funny because I told somebody, they're like, what kind of weather do you
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like? I'm like, I like all weather. I am grateful when it's sunny.
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I'm grateful when it's rainy. I'm grateful to see the lightning.
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I like all kinds of weather, and I'm grateful just to be here.
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Gratitude is kind of a mindset, and when you get into a gratitude mindset,
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you're going to be amazed at what you attract into your life.
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It's not just appreciation.
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It's like a frequency.
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It's a power, a state of mind, and it's healing too.
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So if you have any diseases, cancer, autoimmune diseases, even arthritis,
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change your mindset and shift it into an attitude of gratitude and you'll find
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that you heal a lot quicker because gratitude actually changes your physical
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state. It also changes your hormones.
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Gratitude will shift your body, your mind, and your energy field in a positive
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way that if you're sick or ill, you'll heal faster.
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And if it does that to the body, think of what it can do to everything else around you.
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So by the end of this episode, I hope you're going to heal emotionally,
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maybe physically and spiritually as well.
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Think about changing your frequency.
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And your attitude and your mindset for the long term. Because an attitude with
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gratitude is really life-changing.
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It will make you happy overall.
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It'll make you grateful for what you have.
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It's not so you envy the things you don't have. You're grateful for what you
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have, and you come more into your life that way.
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So first, we're going to kind of start with the science, because I'm a very
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analytical and scientific woman.
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Then we're going to kind of go into the spiritual crossover with gratitude and
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healing and the law of attraction, etc. During this time, this is the holiday
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season, I really do think it is so important to have an attitude of gratitude.
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Let's talk science first. When you're grateful and you're happy and you're joyful
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and you're loving life, and you don't have to be rich to be here, guys.
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It doesn't matter where you are financially. It doesn't even matter where you are physically.
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It's a mindset shift. When you get there, you're going to lower your cortisol levels.
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So stress hormone, everybody knows, can add weight gain.
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It causes inflammation. If you can lower your cortisol level by being grateful,
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you're going to have a healthier body overall.
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It's also going to improve your sleep. If you're sleeping better,
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that will also take care of inflammation and help with weight loss, etc.
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Then the inflammation alone that goes down when you're grateful is an amazing thing.
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I honestly think whenever I'm grateful, I always put my hand over my heart and
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I say what I'm grateful for.
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Now, having gratitude is great for your heart, but it feels like there's more of a connection.
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When you're grateful and you put your hand over your heart and you say,
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I'm just so grateful for such and such person or I'm so grateful for the home
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I have or the wealth I have or God or the weather or anything in your life.
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The fact that you can listen to this.
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There are people, guys, that can't hear. There are people that can't see.
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When you have an attitude of gratitude, you're grateful for the things you don't have.
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A lot of times we get wrapped up, poor me syndrome doesn't get you anywhere.
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All it does is bring in more poor me. I want you to grow.
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I want everyone to grow. If we grew as a society and we grew as a human race,
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the whole world would be better.
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Put your hand over your heart and say what you're grateful for.
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Close your eyes, breathe in deep, and just really feel it.
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You're going to also strengthen your immune system because there's been tests
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done that when you're grateful and hopeful and happy, your immune system goes up.
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You improve your, any autoimmunes can improve, cancer decreases.
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It's just good for you overall.
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Gratitude also helps with emotional healing. I will say when I was going through
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my divorce, I focused a lot on gratitude.
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Part of my divorce coaching that I went through was you need to list out the
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things you're grateful for every day.
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Every morning you would do it. Every night you would do it and say,
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I'm just grateful for these things. And it does help shift your mindset.
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So if you're going through a tough time right now, financially,
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physically, emotionally.
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Write down the things you're grateful for and see how much
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it shifts your mindset it takes away the poor me syndrome and shifts it to i
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am so blessed to have what i have and it can be a loss of a spouse it can be
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a death of someone it can be a divorce it can be loss of a job or financial
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bankruptcy but there's still gratitude and there's still things to find happiness and joy in,
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It helps rewire your brain, too. I think that humans are innately designed to feel safe.
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And when we feel a threat, our cortisol goes up. When we're worried,
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our cortisol goes up. And we go into fight or flight.
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But when you're in a state of mind of gratitude, you feel more peace. You feel more safety.
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It shifts your mindset. It's going to shift it from a victimhood and a poor
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me and a laziness to an idea of empowerment.
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Look at what I have. Look at what I have to be grateful for. I am so blessed.
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Each one of us out here is blessed, guys. We really all are.
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There are things to be grateful for because when I was growing up, I had it kind of rough.
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I would always say to myself, somebody out there has it harder than me,
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and they survived just as well, if not better than me.
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I always said, I have no poor men in me. I started that at an early age,
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but you don't have to start it at an early age. You can do that at any age.
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It really does shift your mindset. We do need to control our minds.
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We really do because our minds, honestly, I think they naturally tend to go
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in the negative or the worry, all the possible things that could go wrong.
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It's your mind's way of saying, hey, we're thinking of all the possibilities so that you stay safe.
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But what if we could shift it to all the possibilities that could happen that were positive?
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And then you look towards the future. You look towards the positive of what
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you have now. You just change from a victimhood to empowerment.
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Now, I know this is a shift.
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I know the news and the media bring in a lot of negative, but gratitude is a growth mindset.
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People that have gratitude, they grow. They strive for new things.
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They get rid of victimhood. They're empowered.
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They realize that most of the things in life are in their control.
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Now, there's things we don't control, but if you shift to a positive mindset,
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you will find yourself enlightened and able to control a lot more than you thought
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you could. I think that when people go through healing from heartbreak or illness
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or trauma, gratitude has to be a practice.
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It really does. If you can get into this mindset, you're going to heal a lot faster.
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And you'll get off of what the other person has done to you or what bad health
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you have right now to what possibility you have.
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Because you have a great current and an even better future. Gratitude will attract more love.
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I found that the more you're grateful, the more love you'll attract in your
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life, whether it's from friends or family or whomever, and people will show up for you.
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It'll also attract money. I got a check in the mail the other day.
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I wasn't expecting. I was so excited and hopeful.
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It brought me joy, and I was already in a joyful state. It was nice to get a check in the mail.
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Then there'll be new opportunities that open up. I think a lot of times we think
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that if we're tough on ourselves or we push ourselves, we'll get to opportunities.
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But I'm here to tell you, keep pushing yourself, but don't drown...
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Yourself in you know all the mistakes you made look at all the great things
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you're doing and opportunities will begin to open up i always say to myself i already have enough.
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And but the universe is a growth universe and it does like to multiply things
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people that have a growth mindset enough is never enough honestly if you're really,
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In a growth mindset, you'll be grateful for what you have, but you'll always be striving for more.
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It doesn't mean that you have to always have the biggest house.
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It doesn't mean that once you get to a 5,000 square foot house,
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you have to have a 10,000 square foot house or whatever.
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What it means is that you're happy in your 2,000 square foot house or 1,000
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square foot house, and you're striving for more.
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And you're grateful, truly grateful for what you have.
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I love my house. Do I want a bigger house? Yeah.
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But I'm truly grateful for what I have. I already have enough.
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I just am striving to always improve and become more because that's my belief and that's my mindset.
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What is yours? Are you a growth mindset person? Are you just okay with what
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you have and getting by? It's truly a mindset shift. That's all it is, the difference.
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If you're happy with where you're at and where you're getting by, that's fine.
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Then find someone else that you're happy with, that you're happy with just getting
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by because then you need a match and a line. We've talked about that in the past.
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But gratitude, even if you're just getting by, being grateful for what you have
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and just getting by will still attract more into your life.
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Gratitude, it's a subconscious belief about your worthiness and what you can
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achieve. It removes desperation and it replaces it with kind of a magnetic energy.
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The energy that draws things to you. It makes you happy. It makes you joyful.
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There are times in life when everybody goes through stuff. you may fall into a pit of despair.
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It's a lack energy. It's a wanting energy.
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You feel like there's no hope. Everybody goes through it because things are
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going to happen that are out of your control.
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You can't control other people, what they do, and you may fall down.
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However, I will say that gratitude brings in a feeling of abundance.
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It's an abundance energy.
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And when you bring in that abundance, you see that there's endless possibilities.
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Endless, and I'm talking endless. There's no ceiling on possibilities.
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I think affirmations are important, but I think the big thing is just shifting that mindset.
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Every day, you can find something positive.
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I attribute a lot of this to my father. He was a very positive man.
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He was a very joyful man, but a very positive man. He would...
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Attract things. Now, he wasn't well off, but he was joyful in what he had and
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very appreciative to what he had.
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Whenever he needed things, things showed up for him.
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His joy helped me growing to a person that had a positive mindset all the time.
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It helps with abundance. It really does. When you get knocked down, it's okay.
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But get yourself back up as soon as you can and do it with the tool of gratitude.
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One of the things you can say is, I am grateful for the abundance that flows
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to me naturally, easily, and joyful.
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The universe wants to provide for me. The universe is giving to me every day.
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I am open, open to receive. I am joyful and loving to all that come around me.
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I think that being joyful is truly, truly important.
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Most people, their default is to fear, to worry, to be scared,
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to be stressed, to focus on survival mode.
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And being grateful means that you have to get out of your mindset.
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If you're fearful or worried all the time about a relationship,
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about money, about your health, it's going to call into more bad things. It really does.
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I don't know exactly the science behind it, but you tend to attract more of it.
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If you sit around talking to your friends and telling them how terrible life
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is and how miserable you are and how you're never going to find the right person
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or you're never going to make the money you want to make, or you're never going
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to get there because words matter.
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If you call yourself stupid, or if you tell yourself that you're a loser,
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if you tell yourself you're poor, or if you complain about what you have,
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you're going to call more of that in.
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If you complain about your small house, or if you complain about the neighbors,
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or if you complain about your friends, you're going to get more of that.
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Stop talking about people and start learning about growth and educate yourself.
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All of those things will make you better.
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Complaining and being fearful and worrying and stressing.
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Staying in survival mode is not helping you. It's a conscious shift and it takes
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daily work. I'm here to tell you it does. Every day.
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It takes work. But I wake up every day happy and joyful. I wake up every day
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and I find something before I actually step out of bed,
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to be grateful for. And I say to myself in my head, thank you, God.
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I'm so grateful that I have XYZ. I'm so grateful that the sun is shining today.
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I'm so grateful that it's raining and I get to see lightning.
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I'm so grateful that I have friends that care for me. I'm so grateful that I
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have family that loves me. I'm so grateful for my children.
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I'm so grateful for the fact I have a roof over my head because people,
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there are people out there that don't.
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If you don't, be grateful that you're still alive and that tomorrow you can
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make it a little bit better.
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And in life, we get better by baby steps.
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Typically, some people, yes, there are get-rich-quick schemes out there,
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but most people get better by baby steps.
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Now, your baby steps may be bigger than mine or smaller than mine,
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but baby steps is how we grow, one step at a time.
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So walk through your gratitude, walk through your joy, walk through your happiness.
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And if you're miserable and angry, worried and fearful, and you've been hurt, Take one step at a time.
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Find one thing you're grateful for. Here's a cute little thing you can practice.
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Everybody has a street block, no matter where you're at.
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Now, it might be you live in the country and the roads are a mile long,
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so you have a four-mile block.
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But anyway, then you have a lot to be grateful for.
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Go on a walk and every step, walk slow.
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Say something in your head you're grateful for. Like step one,
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I'm grateful for my kids. Step two, I'm grateful for my health.
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Step three, I'm grateful for my hair. I'm grateful for my hands.
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I'm grateful that I can walk on this planet.
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I'm grateful for the air I breathe. I'm grateful for the fresh water I have.
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I'm grateful for the sun. I'm grateful for the trees.
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I'm grateful for the beauty around me. Can you imagine by the time you walk
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around one block, how many things you can find that you're grateful for?
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That will shift your mindset.
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If you're in a funk, if you're depressed, if you're sad, if you're annoyed,
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if you're hurting, Just try this one exercise once.
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And see how it shifts your entire day. I mean, shift your entire month.
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Now do it once a day and see how your life changes and expands.
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Don't make it a rote routine, but truly be grateful for the things.
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I'm grateful that I have shoes to walk in.
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I'm grateful that I came from a very poor situation growing up,
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and now I'm doing well financially.
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I'm grateful for everything that has happened in my life.
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I'm grateful for the good, and I'm grateful for the bad. I'm grateful that things
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have grown and people grow with me.
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All of those things you can be grateful for. I call it a resting emotional state.
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So when you don't have trauma,
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going on in your life when you're in a daily situation. So let's say that you
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went through a divorce, but you feel pretty healed from it and you're back to normal.
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What is your daily resting emotional state?
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Are you in worry? Are you in fear? Are you in joy?
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And this is a good test as well to see if you need to do more gratitude.
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Because if your daily emotional state is sadness or fear or loathing or exhaustion,
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you're missing the joy of life.
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Your resting emotional state should be happiness. It should be joy.
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That's an elevated state and it'll draw more into you.
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And if you're not there yet, do the trip around the block exercise and see how
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it shifts and keep doing it until you shift into a joyful state.
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Now, that's not the only way to reprogram your brain. And this is really reprogramming
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because I believe that we are programmed from childhood to be fearful.
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I believe we're programmed from childhood and then teenage years to be scared
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and stressed and worried. We're programmed by the parents around us.
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We're programmed by our friends.
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We're programmed by social media. We're programmed by the news to have the worst emotional state.
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That takes a lot of work to reprogram you because when you're a baby,
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most babies giggle a lot.
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Most babies, they see a face and somebody smiles at them And they just start
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giggling They're happy to be alive and they're grateful But then what happens
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is they start to walk As you're walking as a baby Watch, be careful Watch
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Don't hit that. You're going to hit your head. Oh, be careful.
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That comes from your parents. And they do it to make sure that you don't hurt yourself.
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But at the same time, they're creating a little bit of worry and fear in you
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and stress, if we're honest.
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Then there's don't cross the road, make sure. Oh, look, look.
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Then there's the I need to keep an eye on you.
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Don't go outside unless I'm with you. All of these things create fear and worry.
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As you grow up, then you become a teenager. You get fear and worry from your friends.
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You get fear and worry from your teachers. you have negative teachers
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that are saying the world is going to end that people are fascists
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or that there's you know everybody's out to
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get them or people are racist they're calling other people's names they create
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war create hostility that's not a positive state it's creating stress it's creating
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fear it's creating worry now why do people do that they can sell a product their
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news gets more commercial sponsorship when they get more viewers and they've found that.
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Viewers turn in to see things that are stressful.
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I mean, why does everybody slow down so much and have a gapers delay in an auto accident?
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Because it's a stressful situation. They want to see and gape.
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People aren't gaping as much about joyful things as they do about stressful
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things. So that's why the media believes they can sell more advertising slots.
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It really comes down to money, guys. It's that simple.
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By giving people fear, worry, and stress.
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Then they get into a mindset and it becomes a state of being.
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Their new emotional resting mental state is stress, worry, and fear. It snowballs.
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You get it from the media. You get it from your friends. You get it from teachers, which is shameful.
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Nobody teaches positivity, gratitude. Nobody teaches joy, peace, or expansion.
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Expansion really is a growth mindset because gratitude leads to joy and happiness.
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And when you have joy and happiness, you have an inner peace that you can't
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buy. That inner peace that you get just from gratitude, billionaires can't buy it.
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Anyone can get it. But it takes work.
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It takes mental focus and it takes work, mental work. Then once you get to peace,
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your next step is expansion and you expand into new areas.
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You expand into joy. You expand into peace. You expand into wealth.
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You expand into emotional wealth.
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Once you have this positive gratitude, emotional state, you can do anything. I mean anything.
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There's no limit. The exercise of walking around the block, I'll go back to
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that, is a great way to go.
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You can also journal and you can write what you're happy for.
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Now, the interesting thing about journaling and your gratitude is you write.
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You think you're never going to look back at it and just put the date and three
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things you're grateful for every day, every morning, every night. It changes your world.
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Then what happens is, and it takes like 10 seconds, maybe 20.
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It doesn't take long at all.
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Then you go back and I like to do it quarterly. You could do it monthly.
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You could do it annually, whatever you like. You go back to,
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say, three months or six months or a year.
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You'll see things you were grateful for a year ago. Maybe you're grateful that
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you have an apartment to rent and you can make the bills. Then you're grateful
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for the fact that you have a car.
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Then a year later, you might be grateful for the fact you just bought your first
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house or you got a brand new car.
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Then a year later, you might be grateful for the fact you started a new business and it's accomplished.
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You all did it from just daily gratitude, from writing three things you're grateful
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for every morning and every night.
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You'll see how your world shifts and changes.
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It's amazing. What you can do to help reprogram your mind is,
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you know how social media and we have electronics and our phones,
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we're on them all day long.
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Maybe set up a reminder first thing in the morning. So you can set it up on
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your Alexa device or whatever, your Apple device or your phone.
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And just have a reminder pop up within like a minute of you waking up.
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It's time for your gratitude journal or it's time to write your gratitude.
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You can also set it up three times a day. You can say, think of three things you're grateful for.
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I like writing it down. I like thinking about stuff, like when you're walking
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around the block, but I also like writing down my main gratitude things because
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I do like to see how I've grown within a year. I do like to see how I've expanded.
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Because, again, remember, gratitude leads to joy, happiness,
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peace, and then to expansion.
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Expansion in your heart. Expansion in your mind. Expansion in your pocketbook.
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Expansion with your health. It's amazing what gratitude can do. Now, I injured my knee.
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A couple months ago. And I went to an energy healer and she said, you know what?
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I think your knee heals so much faster and your body heals so much faster than
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others because I'm always focused on gratitude.
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I'm grateful for my knee because it's still there and it still works.
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I tore the crap out of it and it hurt, but I was grateful I could still walk.
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It hurt, but I was still grateful because there's people out there that can't.
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And there's people out there that don't have two legs. So be grateful for what you have.
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The people that don't have legs might be grateful they still have their arms.
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There are people out there that don't have any arms and legs,
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and I've seen them on speeches, and they're the happiest people because they
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are grateful for what they have.
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They found joy and peace in who they are. They're alive.
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Until you're six feet under, you have a requirement as a human being to feel
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joy, happiness, and peace.
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If you don't, you can spin out into depression very easily.
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You can be sad. That can happen.
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I don't want that to happen for you, though. You need to start reframing your problems into lessons.
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It's funny that I know you know that I've had some liver issues,
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and I say them issues, and I look at them as lessons and growth opportunities.
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Everything in my life is either a lesson or a growth opportunity.
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There's no good, there's no bad. When you start saying, I am grateful for these
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lessons that I am learning, and learn them well.
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I know I've talked to people that say, why does the same stuff keep happening
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to me? I say, because you haven't learned your lesson.
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What that means is you keep repeating the same stuff in life so the same stuff keeps happening to you.
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Once you learn your lesson, truly learn it.
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It won't happen anymore. We think that we're completely out of control in life,
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but we're not. We control a lot more than we think.
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And you do this through gratitude and by reframing your problems as lessons.
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And then you can be grateful for those lessons. You can be grateful for the
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stuff that happens to you.
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Because gratitude, you still need during discomfort.
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You still need it when you're getting hurt, when you're suffering.
23:26
When you're going through pain.
23:28
I mean, I was in pain and I was still cracking jokes with the x-ray technician.
23:33
I am just grateful that I am still here because there's a lot of people that aren't, guys.
23:39
There's a lot of people that aren't. Be grateful that you're still here.
23:41
I will be grateful until the day I die because I'm still here.
23:45
My natural state is peace. My natural state is joy, happiness,
23:49
gratitude. That's how I am naturally.
23:52
And whenever I go through stuff and I have fallen down, I've fallen down where
23:56
it takes me a day, two, three days to just get my mind back to happiness.
24:02
It may only be five minutes of happiness, but every day it will grow.
24:05
I get it. I'm with you. I understand your pain.
24:10
Because everybody goes through it. You never know the person that's honking
24:13
at you or mad on the side of the road what their day is like. I get it.
24:17
And you've got to feel for them. But don't let it shift who you are.
24:21
Don't let life's lessons diminish you.
24:25
Don't let it change your core values. That matters.
24:28
It matters so much. And gratitude should be a core value of who you are as a human being.
24:34
When you attract people into your life, that's who you should attract.
24:38
You want to attract people that are growth-minded, that are happy,
24:41
that are joyful in what they do have, that don't have limiting beliefs,
24:45
that aren't attacking you, that aren't mean.
24:47
Those are the ones you want because that will help elevate you.
24:50
So let's discuss a little bit about emotional frequencies because gratitude
24:56
will elevate you to a new emotional frequency, but you need to know it's kind of a ladder.
25:01
It's kind of a stepping stone. There's different frequencies.
25:04
I want to talk a little bit about them. We're going to talk about the negative.
25:08
I don't like to dwell on the negative too much, so I'm going to go over it quickly,
25:11
but one of the lowest frequency levels out there is shame.
25:14
If you do something wrong to someone else and you hurt someone or you don't like your body,
25:20
or something you did was wrong, shame is a really bad frequency to be in.
25:24
And people get stuck here.
25:26
They're ashamed of what they said. They're ashamed of what they did.
25:29
They're ashamed of how they treated someone.
25:31
Then guilt tends to come next. They get guilty. They feel guilty about what they did.
25:36
Guilt is a terrible frequency as well. It's not going to elevate you.
25:40
So shame and guilt, stop doing bad things, and you won't have as much shame and guilt.
25:44
You do that by being grateful for what you have, elevating your ethics,
25:48
your values, your morals, and moving to the next level. But people are fearful.
25:53
They're fearful of change. They have fear of not finding the right person.
25:57
They have fear of not making enough money.
26:00
They have fear. But fear, as I'm sure you've heard before, is false evidence
26:05
appearing real. And it really is true.
26:07
Everybody has fear, don't get me wrong. People naturally have fear when they
26:11
start something new. But I actually have leaned into fear.
26:15
When I start something new, I'm like,
26:17
ooh, it's a little bit scary, so I'm going to go do it. I lean into it because
26:21
that means I get to learn something new.
26:23
I'm all about growth and learning something new. So when I get a little bit
26:27
of fear, I'm like, bring it on.
26:29
Because I'm going to go do it. If I'm afraid of something, now granted,
26:32
I'm not going to do something that's fearful and bad for me.
26:35
That doesn't make sense. Those are just adrenaline junkies.
26:38
But if something worries me or scares me a little bit about business, I'm a little fearful.
26:42
I don't know how to do that new AI tool, or I don't know how to do that new
26:47
software program, or I don't know how to do this new workout,
26:50
or maybe you've never done yoga before, so you're a little fearful of going to do yoga. Go do it.
26:55
It's not going to hurt you. Fear holds you back.
26:59
Shame, guilt, fear, they all hold you back. So you're not growing because you're
27:03
letting the negative low frequency levels hold you back.
27:07
If you don't have fear, a lot of people get anxiety.
27:10
They get anxiety from the fear. Anxiety is also an emotional state that keeps you down.
27:14
One of the ways to get rid of anxiety is exercise. I will say if you're getting
27:17
a lot of anxiety, go for a run.
27:20
Or go for a climb or a hike. Get into nature. Anxiety gets calmed when you get
27:24
into nature really well.
27:26
So go for a nice little walk through a park or something. Just get,
27:29
that helps with anxiety.
27:31
Helps with fear. It could be financial anxiety. It can be relationship anxiety.
27:35
Whatever it is, get outside and do it. It will help.
27:38
And then there's anger. Now, anger tends to come when people don't hit our standards
27:44
or meet our expectations.
27:45
Sometimes we get angry at ourselves for not meeting our own expectations,
27:50
for not getting to the level we wanted to as soon as we wanted to.
27:53
Sometimes we get angry because somebody else hurts us.
27:56
And anger is something that everybody goes through. Heck, it's a part of grieving.
28:00
That everybody touches on now. Some people stay in angry and they're just angry people.
28:04
But again, exercise helps with that. If you have anger issues, go work out.
28:09
That will help. Anger is a negative emotion, but you may go through it.
28:14
All of these negative emotions you may go through, you just don't want it to be your resting state.
28:19
Your natural resting state, if your natural resting state is in a low level
28:23
frequency, you're not going to reach your fullest potential and you're never
28:28
going to really be happy. That's the one thing that people don't learn.
28:31
You should be learning it from a young age.
28:34
You should be learning it when you're 8, 9, 10 years old. If you haven't learned
28:38
it, learn it right now on this podcast.
28:41
The next state that a lot of people hang out in is sadness. They're sad because
28:45
they didn't achieve something.
28:47
They're sad because their spouse cheated or left them.
28:50
They're sad because they look back on their life and they're living in their
28:54
glory days of high school and they haven't achieved anything lately,
28:57
but they remember when it was good for them.
28:59
Or they're sad because they don't feel like anybody cares for them. Here's the truth.
29:05
The best way to get cared for is to care for yourself.
29:08
You're never dependent on anyone else then. You will draw people to you once
29:12
you truly love yourself that love you as much as you love yourself.
29:16
Honestly, I can honestly say that I don't know if anybody will ever truly love
29:20
you as much as you love yourself.
29:21
Because you're with yourself all the time. Some people don't love themselves.
29:25
Some people are sad because they hate themselves.
29:28
But it's a negative frequency. That's your natural emotional state.
29:32
Sadness or self-hate. It's not a good place to be. You're never going to get
29:36
to gratefulness. You're never going to get to happiness.
29:39
You'll stay there. And when you're sad, it kind of leads to apathy.
29:42
You get apathetic about work. You get apathetic about life. You get apathetic
29:47
about working out. You get apathetic about your kids.
29:50
When you're sad all the time and depressed, you just, you're apathetic about
29:54
life. It's not just a state of being.
29:56
Sometimes people drink themselves because they're sad.
29:59
They drink too much. They abuse substances. They look at pornography because
30:04
they are sad and they don't feel loved.
30:07
And the addictions, most of the addictions, I think, come from sadness and apathy.
30:12
And sadness will lead to addictions. and then the apathy will destroy you as a person.
30:17
It will make you so you're not successful in life. And yes, medications can
30:21
do this too. There's a lot of pharmaceuticals out there, guys, that can...
30:24
Put you in a state of depression. So remember that. So you look at your life
30:28
as a whole, but apathy, do what you can to control what you can. All right.
30:32
And then frustration. Now, if you've got any of these shame,
30:36
guilt, fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, apathy, you're going to be frustrated.
30:40
Okay. You're going to be frustrated because you're not achieving and your frustration
30:44
can lead to anger and your frustration can lead to apathy and your frustration
30:48
can lead to sadness and fear.
30:50
Your frustration relates to all the other lowest emotional states.
30:54
I'm here to tell you that frustration can ruin you as a person.
30:58
Now we're going to step into our first neutral state.
31:03
When you go from a lowest state where your natural emotional state is one of
31:06
the above that I just described, acceptance is kind of the first thing you have
31:10
to do. You have to accept yourself.
31:12
You have to accept your life. You don't have to be satisfied with it,
31:15
but you need to accept where you're at. You need to do it in a calm manner.
31:18
So acceptance and calmness, they're neutral states because what happens when
31:22
you accept where you're at and you're calm and you transition out of the negative,
31:27
you create a level of hope.
31:29
That hope will lead to gratitude and joy. So when you accept yourself and your
31:34
life where it's at, you'll start heading in the right direction. So take stock.
31:40
I mean, this is the end of the year and the holidays and I know a lot's going
31:43
on, but take stock of who you are and where you're at. Accept it. There's no emotion.
31:48
Just accept it. From a scientific standpoint, just accept it.
31:51
Be who you are and dwell in that. You might want to take a whole day and just
31:54
accept it. Do the gratitude walk, though, too. I do love the gratitude walk.
31:57
And accept yourself. Then you'll go into a level of calmness and peace.
32:01
But out of that comes hope and gratefulness for what you do have and what you can accept.
32:07
And then that gratefulness will grow. So when we have hope, we have a vision of the future.
32:12
We have a hopefulness of who we are who we're becoming.
32:15
And hope can change lives. Hope will change everything in your life if you follow it.
32:22
It opens you up for gratitude. And as soon as you start your gratitude exercises, your joy will expand.
32:27
Your happiness will expand. Just start waking up in the morning with joy and
32:31
happiness. And the next level after gratitude is joy.
32:34
Joyfulness is a great state of being.
32:37
When you have joy, you're going to start to love yourself, which is the next level.
32:41
When you love yourself and love your children and love your job and love your
32:47
spouse or your partner and love your dogs and your cats and your house,
32:53
you'll find that everything starts to grow around you and you're at peace.
32:59
I know I talk a lot about this, but my level of peace is so precious to me.
33:04
I don't want anybody to disturb it. When people are on the negative level of
33:09
emotion, if you're dating someone who's always fearful or always has anxiety,
33:14
they will take you from your peace down into possibly frustration or anger or sadness.
33:21
So garner your peace and protect it. Your peace is so important.
33:27
That's why people say, I don't want you to disturb my peace,
33:29
because when people disturb your peace, what they're truly doing is they're
33:32
pulling you back down into a low frequency vibration, which will mess up your flow.
33:38
And there is something to say about flow. When you're in flow,
33:41
it feels like everything good is coming your way.
33:44
And the only way to get into flow is to have lots of gratitude because then
33:48
you get to love and joy, happiness and peace and peace. Things start to flow.
33:53
They start to flow and you are like, wow.
33:55
Then you'll see people that try to disturb your peace. I honestly,
33:59
sometimes I think it's like the devil throwing stuff at you.
34:01
They'll introduce people into your life that really want to disturb your peace. You will.
34:07
Tell them, thank you. I am learning a lesson.
34:10
Now, you don't tell them personally. You're going to think in your mind,
34:12
you're going to like, thank you for the lesson. I see how you are.
34:15
I see that you're angry a lot. I see that you're always miserable,
34:19
that you're very sad, but I'm not bringing you into my world.
34:22
I'm not associating with you.
34:24
I'm not going to pull you into my life because I'm happy with my peace. I'm joyful with who I am.
34:29
If you want to sit over there and complain all day long, that's fine.
34:32
You can do that, just not with me because I'm in my peace bubble. It really is a bubble.
34:37
And you get to choose who you pull into your peace bubble. Because after you
34:41
have peace, you elevate yourself into bliss.
34:44
Bliss is a level that, I will tell you, when you get there, time stops.
34:48
Things become magical. It's almost like you're in a fairy tale.
34:52
Bliss is a wonderful place to be now. You can be that in a new relationship.
34:55
Sometimes that happens.
34:56
Then sometimes you're in a new relationship and you fall from bliss back into frustration.
35:00
It's a shifting thing. It can happen. And but bliss only get you get knocked
35:05
out of bliss when you allow people into your life that aren't elevated,
35:09
that aren't at your frequency level.
35:12
But you can be in bliss for a really long time.
35:15
It annoys some people, I will say, because when you're in bliss and you're happy,
35:18
a lot of people don't like to see that.
35:20
They want to pull you back down to their frustration level or their apathy or their anxiety.
35:24
Anger this is when you get into bliss and you're really flowing
35:27
and you're doing really well in a company or you're really doing really well
35:30
in a relationship then you have that friend that tries
35:34
to throw a monkey wrench into the whole operation saying oh
35:37
don't do that you could lose your job or oh don't do that you could lose money
35:42
or oh don't do that that person's not good for you even though you think they
35:46
are and they've shown no reason not to be they try to knock you out of their
35:50
bliss why because they're not happy
35:51
they're not even at acceptance level they're in a very low frequency.
35:55
Those are the people that are jealous. Jealousy is not a high frequency.
35:59
Jealousy is a low frequency vibration.
36:01
So just be careful. When you're in bliss, it seems like more and more people,
36:05
just like when you're in peace, want to pull you back into their level and you
36:09
can't allow it. It can be with a partner.
36:11
I hope that you married somebody that brings you peace or if you have a boyfriend
36:15
or a girlfriend, they bring you peace and they put you in bliss.
36:18
But you have to be there by yourself first and then they should add to it.
36:22
They shouldn't take away.
36:23
They should add to it. They can't get you there on your own,
36:26
though. You have to work on getting there yourself.
36:29
Then the highest frequency you can get is to enlightenment.
36:32
When you get to enlightenment, things will just magically manifest.
36:36
When you're enlightened, things will happen. Now, enlightenment is hard to hold.
36:39
I will say I've gone in and out of it a few times, but you'll manifest money.
36:43
You'll manifest the right partner.
36:45
You'll manifest love. You'll manifest everything you want.
36:48
Maybe you need to meet someone in order to advance your job.
36:51
Things will just start manifesting for you when you're enlightened.
36:54
It is a whole shifting attitude in your life. You can jump around in this level
37:00
of different frequencies.
37:02
Now, typically you don't go from shame to peace or enlightenment.
37:06
You kind of need to work your way through some of these things.
37:09
Now, you can go from shame to peace.
37:11
To acceptance. That's perfectly normal. You can do that. But it tends to be
37:15
that you have to move up slowly.
37:17
You can go from fear with gratitude to power to joy.
37:21
Gratitude is bridging frequencies. It helps you move up this ladder faster.
37:27
So if you do the gratitude walk, the nature of gratitude walk,
37:30
where you're walking around the block, or you do the gratitude in the journaling.
37:34
Now, my children and I, we do this every night. We do three things
37:37
we're grateful for every single night as we pray and say
37:40
we say three things that went well today so that's gratitude then
37:44
we do three things we're grateful for that's more gratitude then
37:47
we do three things that we're hoping for for the future that's hope
37:50
those are all high frequency vibrations i've trained them at such a young age
37:54
that they are doing that every day what if you did that what if you wrote down
37:58
three things that you were went well today three things you're grateful for
38:01
and then three things you hope for for the future every day and pray to whatever
38:05
god you believe in can you imagine how shifting that is for your mindset?
38:09
How you could change and control a lot more in your life if you changed that
38:13
one mindset? It shifts you from fear to power of your life.
38:17
It shifts you from anger to acceptance of where you are
38:19
are. You move from having loss in your life to having meaning.
38:23
When we move in the right direction, our lives change. If anything,
38:27
I'm hoping that I can empower you.
38:30
Empowerment is so important because you have more control than you believe.
38:35
Gratitude will transform your relationships. When you're grateful for your spouse
38:39
and what you do ahead, they may not be the perfect person, but you marry them,
38:42
so you're stuck with them, at least for now.
38:44
You're grateful for the things they do, the little things. You'll crawl more
38:47
little things and then big things into your life. You might find that your partner's more loving.
38:52
Your children are more loving when you're grateful for them.
38:55
Show appreciation. I don't think people in this world show enough appreciation.
38:58
When somebody holds the door open for you, thank them.
39:01
Ladies, thank them. Because they didn't have to. Don't assume and don't act
39:05
entitled that people were going to do that for you. When they do, be grateful.
39:09
If somebody slams it in your face, that's okay.
39:12
That's just a lesson that you probably don't want to get to know that person.
39:15
So there you go. You got your lesson. Be grateful for what you do have,
39:19
and you will find people are more loving back.
39:22
Your friends. Your friends, you should find friends that are filled with gratitude.
39:26
And if not, be grateful for the friends you have while you're shifting to new
39:30
friends that will have more gratitude.
39:32
I am no stranger to telling you that if you have the wrong people in your life,
39:36
whether it's a partner, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a spouse,
39:40
whatever it is. Now, children, you're not going to be.
39:43
Get rid of, but our friends, even family members, quite frankly,
39:46
if they're not your spouse, I mean, sometimes it's okay to cut people out of
39:49
your life because their lack of peace will pull you down.
39:53
They will suck you down into their abysmal dungeon or negative mindset so quickly
39:59
that you will, you'll fall.
40:02
And people do impact other people. We do.
40:04
There's great impacts. Now, it would be great if I could tell you once you get
40:09
to peace, nobody can knock you out. Nope, you still got to hold it.
40:12
You got to hold that level. You've got to be strong enough to remain in your
40:16
peace because other people are going to impact you. They do have influence.
40:20
That's why from a young age, we learned to not just be joyous.
40:23
We learned to be fearful.
40:25
We learned to have some of the negative fears. Other people will impact you, so don't allow them to.
40:30
And the best way to not allow them to is to not associate with them, quite frankly.
40:34
So if you have a lot of negative people in your life,
40:37
and you're negative, there you go. Try to start elevating yourself.
40:41
Elevate your mindset. Elevate your politics. There's a lot of negativeness around politics.
40:45
Maybe it's time to step back from some of the negativity because it's toxic.
40:50
It's not just toxic for your mind. It's toxic for your body.
40:53
Toxicity is not good. You will find out over time that the more toxic you are
40:57
and that the more toxic people are around you, the more unhappy you're going to be.
41:02
Begin to be grateful, even with the difficult people. take
41:05
them as a lesson and then walk away you're going
41:08
to run into them they're there and people say well if you
41:10
were super grateful and you were elevated you're never going to
41:13
run into negative people now that's not true there's always a chance there's
41:16
always a risk now you're going to definitely run into more positive people and
41:19
you're but the negative people you're just going to learn lessons from them
41:23
that's what they're there for they're to teach us lessons and then let them
41:26
go even when you find if they're not the right one or a partner let them go
41:30
gratitude turns resentment into wisdom. It's true.
41:33
So once you're grateful, if you see someone that's negative for causing problems,
41:38
you'll become wise to them and learn that lesson and then never have to learn it again. Hopefully.
41:44
Hopefully you learn it well enough. But letting people go that just are not
41:47
good for you is the best way to move up the ladder quickly as well,
41:50
I will say, because others will influence you greatly.
41:53
It may be you just need to be alone for a while.
41:57
And learn to love yourself. Learn to find your own inner peace.
42:00
Learn to find your own joy and happiness. Because if you can't get into gratitude
42:05
yourself, and you're constantly being influenced by other people around you,
42:09
you need to take a step back and go huddle in your own house,
42:14
or go become a recluse for a little bit.
42:16
Go hibernate by yourself. I tend to do this a lot when I'm learning something
42:22
new, or I'm growing into a new business adventure.
42:24
I cut a lot of people out. Now, if you're one of my friends,
42:27
you may know this, that I might disappear here and there.
42:30
I tend to do this because I'm trying to grow into a new area.
42:34
When I do that, sometimes I need to cut out any negative influences.
42:39
Not that my friends are negative, but I don't want to hear any naysayers.
42:43
I don't want to hear anything negative because a lot of people,
42:45
even though they have good intentions, when you're doing something new that
42:49
shocks them, they will tend to say something negative.
42:52
Even if they're a positive person, they may say negative things and I don't
42:54
want to hear it. So when I'm like pushing through to the next level,
42:57
a lot of times I will go inward and disappear.
43:00
And it's OK to do that. If that helps you grow, because I find that I have better
43:05
growth potential sometimes on my own than with the support of others because
43:08
other people sometimes will hold you back.
43:11
So realize that may need to happen too in order for you to elevate to the next level.
43:15
You may find that all your friends are negative and you have to kind of find
43:19
an entirely new friend group. But there's a lot of happy people out there, guys.
43:23
You just may not know them yet. And I mean yet.
43:26
But if you look for them, you can find them. There's happy people at all socioeconomic
43:30
levels too. And there's miserable people at all socioeconomic levels.
43:34
You could be rich and miserable or poor and miserable. Both ways, you're miserable.
43:38
And either way, you're not finding your joy and your bliss. You could be dirt
43:42
poor and happy as heck. You could be a quadriplegic and happy.
43:46
You could be a person that has no money and has never had money living on the
43:50
streets and still be joyful. It's a choice. It's a mental choice.
43:54
The goal is to elevate yourself so that you're joyful, you have money,
43:57
you're living the comfortable lifestyle, and you get to where you want to be faster.
44:02
I'm not saying being rich gives you joy.
44:05
It helps. Making money helps you grow.
44:07
And to do things that you want to do so you can have more opportunities.
44:11
But if you're not joyful along the way, it's not like if you make a million
44:15
dollars at that destination, you're going to be joyful.
44:18
You'll just, you'll be as miserable as you are now. You need to learn to enjoy
44:22
the journey because the gratitude along the journey helps you grow too.
44:26
We need to slow down and stop rushing things. Feel the feelings, feel the joy.
44:30
Think about all the new things you've learned. When you were born, you couldn't even walk.
44:34
When you were born, you didn't know what a hot stove was. When you were born,
44:38
you didn't know how to drive.
44:39
When you were born, you didn't have basic common sense.
44:42
Now you work a job that may have technical skills or analytical skills or.
44:48
I mean, heck, even using your phone as a growth tool.
44:51
So think of all the things you grow. Be grateful for that.
44:54
Love yourself for all that you are and all that you've accomplished and all
44:58
that you're becoming. Again, gratitude will turn any negative emotions into
45:02
positive wisdom and positive thoughtfulness of who you are.
45:07
Here's the other thing that I learned through my healing of divorce is letting
45:11
people go that hurt you is good, but loving those who hurt you and letting them
45:16
go and wishing them the best, it's not because they deserve it,
45:19
but it's because you deserve to have that peace.
45:22
I know there's a lot of people that have been hurt by other people,
45:25
But I will tell you, when you let other people go and you wish them on their
45:29
way and you wish them the best, or you wish them to leave and find their way,
45:34
or hopefully maybe they find God if they're doing things that are wrong or whatnot,
45:39
you create your own peace.
45:41
It is this step that you have to go through. It hurts a little in the beginning.
45:45
I will say it's painful, but when you truly find your peace,
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you get rid of the misery, you get rid of the.
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Blame game, you get rid of the resentment, you get rid of the pettiness,
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and you let them go, and you let them find their peace, you're going to find your own joy from it too.
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And you're going to attract people into your life that make sense for you.
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I've forgiven a lot of people in gratitude. I have been grateful for lessons
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I've learned from them. Some of them were painful lessons, don't get me wrong.
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If you had parents that were abusive, if you've had, if you've gone through
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terrible situations, you're still here.
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Be grateful for what you now have, because it did make you stronger.
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It was a terrible lesson to learn, but now that you've learned it,
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you can grow from it. You might be able to help transfer someone else's life from that lesson.
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Because sometimes the most painful lessons that we have, when we have gratitude
46:35
around them and we really learn a lesson, we can help others grow from our pain.
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That pain will help you grow into an individual that is phenomenal.
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Just use the pain and don't change who you are because of the lesson you learned.
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Just grow stronger because of it. The Thanksgiving holiday is one,
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and Christmas, and I tend to, whenever I have family around and we sit down
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for dinner, like to go around the table and say what we're thankful for,
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whether it's Christmas.
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Hanukkah, whatever religion you celebrate, Thanksgiving.
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But having a holiday tradition around gratitude is an amazing thing.
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You can even do it in a friend circle when you go out for dinner with the girls.
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It's kind of fun to do once in a while. But it will shift the energy.
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And it'll also give you a bigger connection with the people around you.
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So it may be that you only see these family members once a year,
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but then you go around the table and say the things you're grateful for.
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They might say, I'm grateful that I got first place in state at some competition.
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You didn't know they were even competing.
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It gives you more of a connection. It gives you an intention to care and be
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empathetic for other people.
47:38
Saying out what you're grateful for, not just the food. I know everybody says,
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thanks for the food that you're providing.
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Great. Great for that. Now, don't get me wrong.
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Don't forget to thank the cook because she might be a little upset if you don't.
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But you should be grateful for things in life.
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Saying it out loud, I don't know, it just brings family closer together.
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Family, friends, whomever. I like to say first what you're most grateful for this year.
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And everybody listen. Everybody be focused. Nobody's on their phone. Nobody's on their iPad.
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You're listening. And this teaches empathy as well, guys, to children.
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So it's something that I think every family should do.
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But tell everybody what you're most grateful for for this year.
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Try to keep it non-political, I will say. You might upset other people.
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But what you're truly grateful for.
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And then what you're calling into existence for next year. Say,
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I'm so grateful that I found a beautiful two-bedroom house to rent.
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Next year, I plan on buying a home and I'm going to be even more grateful.
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And I'm just grateful for what I have and grateful for how I'm growing.
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That's a great way to go. Or maybe you're grateful that you met your partner
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and next year you're hoping to start a family.
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Just say what you're grateful for and then say what you're wanting for next
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year. It's kind of like the same practice that I do with my kids every night.
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But doing it at Thanksgiving helps shift the whole culture of your family.
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And it'll shift the environment from probably a negative Thanksgiving or a negative
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Christmas or holiday dinner to something positive.
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And you will connect with your family in ways you never have.
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This will change your family's trajectory.
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Even if you just do it a few times a year, maybe just start doing it every time
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you have a family dinner.
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When would that be something? Get the kids off the iPhones, get the kids off
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the iPads. And every time you sit down for dinner, say what you're grateful for from today.
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Say what you're grateful for in life. Whatever works for you, but be consistent.
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And emphasize, you know, you really need to think about your gratitude as a group.
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Sometimes you can have your whole family. We're grateful as a group to do this.
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We're grateful at a group because of our friends, because of the connections
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we've made. I also like to send gratitude texts to my children.
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I tell them how much I love them. Heck, I tell my children I love them every day.
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I give them phone calls. I text them. And be grateful for the people in your
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life. Because here's the thing. We're only here for a few number years.
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You might be here for 100 years. You might be here for 150 years.
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You might be here for 12 or even a day.
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But however many days you're here, you should be grateful. Every day matters.
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Every day truly does matter. As you spread this gratefulness and this gratitude,
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what you're going to find is other people pick up on it.
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You're going to inspire other people, people in your family,
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your friends. And it's almost like you create a wave of light that just spreads.
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Throughout mankind and it will start
50:22
attracting more kindness into you more words
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of kindness more love more forgivingness of you because i'm sure you've done
50:29
some things and not everybody's so happy about more people will reach out more
50:33
people will be loving and i'm loving to a lot of people i'm loving to ex-friends
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ex-boyfriends i still love them even if they put me off or they've set me in
50:44
a way that just didn't work.
50:45
I still love them and I wish them the best.
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It's just maybe they're not in my path. So even if I let a friend go,
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that's okay. Maybe they'll find their way back to me one day.
50:55
It's just right now we're done a match and we don't align because I'm more about
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gratitude and joy and happiness and they're more about dwelling in their misery.
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Now, if somebody's hurting, I'm not saying don't support them.
51:06
But if their resting state is misery and they're always miserable,
51:09
no matter what happens, and they find the worst in everything,
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it might be time to let them go.
51:14
If you release resentment towards other people, you let people go,
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it will be a gift to yourself.
51:20
And I want you to give yourself lots of gifts from now on.
51:23
I want you to take care of you first. It's kind of like they say you have to
51:27
put your mask on on a plane first before you can help others.
51:30
You got to find you and make sure you're strong before you sit there and help other people.
51:34
Because if you don't, what you'll find is that other people can drag you back
51:38
down quickly and you'll get stuck just there with them.
51:41
So choose your piece is important. Help others as you can. Be a role model to others.
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There's nothing more than a positive role model because when people see that
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you're grateful, that you go around the table at Thanksgiving and holiday dinners
51:54
and you're grateful for what you have, other people will say,
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wow, maybe I should be grateful too.
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You'll attract more of that in. People tell me, you know, I'm looking to level
52:03
up or I want to go to the next level and I'm trying to level up because I want
52:08
to, you know, go up to the next level, elevate to the next ceiling so then you
52:11
can step up to the next level. I don't believe there's a ceiling.
52:14
I elevate because there is no ceiling. I elevate because the future is unlimited.
52:21
And if you choose gratitude, if you choose healing, if you choose love,
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you will elevate yourself to the next level without even trying.
52:30
Because it can be a level, but the level doesn't have a ceiling.
52:34
You might even skip a few levels in the happiness journey, into the enlightenment
52:38
journey. Because there is no ceiling in life.
52:42
The only ceiling is what we put in our minds by holding ourselves back with fear and anxiety,
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jealousy envy hatred those are
52:51
negative feelings that holds us back but when
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you choose love and when you choose joy forgiveness and
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gratitude you will find that you're elevating yourself and
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there is no limit there's no limit to your love it's not
53:03
like you're gonna run out it's endless your love
53:06
is endless and your journey has just begun and i
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wish for everyone a life of joy
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happiness gratitude peace and enlightenment
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if there's anything i can do to help along the way
53:18
i hope this spoke to someone out there this is
53:21
the season of gratitude this is the season of giving this is
53:24
the season of thanksgiving christmas hanukkah all
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the different religion holidays it is a season i hope and i wish for you complete
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joy complete bliss and to get to a level where you can change your world for
53:37
the better this is diva mia signing off have a wonderful season and i wish you
53:43
all the best. Ciao, ciao.
54:01
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