Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Are in a New Geography
Transcript
- Lucas: You move to a new city — maybe a new country — and suddenly your entire professional network is gone. No former colleagues to grab coffee with, no mentors you can call, no one who can vouch for you at a company you're targeting. It's one of the loneliest positions a career can be in. Luna: And it's surprisingly common. I've had at least three friends in the last year alone who relocated — one from Mumbai to London, one from Chicago to Austin, another from Bogotá to Madrid — and every single one said the hardest part wasn't the moving logistics, it was rebuilding professional relationships. Lucas: Exactly. And traditional advice — go to networking events, join professional associations, connect on LinkedIn — that all works eventually, but it's slow. What do you do when you need guidance in the next three months, not three years? Today we're going to walk through a specific playbook for finding a mentor when you're in a new geography, using a real case from a listener named Camila. Luna: Before we go deep into it — and I know this is early, but it's worth saying — if you've been in a similar situation and this kind of advice has ever been useful to you, the reason this show stays ad-free is listener support. People who find value here occasionally toss a coffee our way at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a little thing that keeps the whole thing running. Lucas: Yeah, it genuinely does. And we're grateful for that. So — Camila. She was a marketing manager in São Paulo for about eight years, mostly in fintech. Then her husband got a transfer to Toronto. She had no work history in Canada, no local references, and she didn't know anyone in the Canadian marketing scene. Luna: That's a tough reset. Did she have any prior mentorship experience back in Brazil? Lucas: She did — she'd had a mentor at her last company in São Paulo, a senior VP who helped her navigate a promotion. So she understood the value. But when she landed in Toronto, she realized that her existing mentor, even though they were still in touch, couldn't help her with the local landscape. She needed someone who knew the Canadian market, the cultural norms, the specific players in Toronto's fintech and banking scene. Luna: So she needed a new mentor, not just an extension of the old one. That's a key distinction. A lot of people try to keep their pre-relocation mentor and expect them to fill the gap, but it doesn't work the same way. Lucas: Right. So Camila did something very deliberate. She sat down and made a list of twenty people in Toronto working in marketing — specifically at banks, fintechs, and larger tech companies. She found them through LinkedIn and through reading local business publications like the Globe and Mail's Report on Business. Then she ranked them by two criteria: how relevant their experience was to her career goals, and how likely they might be to say yes to a short conversation. Luna: What was her definition of 'likely to say yes'? I feel like people often target the most senior person they can find and then get disappointed when that person doesn't respond. Lucas: She looked for signals. Had the person mentioned mentoring in their LinkedIn profile? Had they written articles about career development? Had they recently spoken at a conference and seemed open to connecting? She also avoided anyone who was a direct competitor to her husband's company — a smart play to avoid any awkwardness. Her top choice was a senior director of marketing at one of the Big Five banks. This woman had been in Toronto for about fifteen years, had a public profile as a mentor, and had previously worked in Latin America, which Camila thought might create a natural point of connection. Luna: So she had a specific person in mind. Then what? Did she just send a cold LinkedIn message? Lucas: She did, but the message was crafted carefully. She didn't lead with 'Can you be my mentor?' — that's the number one mistake people make. Instead, she referenced something the senior director had written recently about the future of digital banking in Canada, and she asked a specific question about how a marketer from outside the country could best position themselves. That's it. One clear question, tied to the person's expertise, no request for a long-term commitment. Luna: That feels so much more respectful of the other person's time. And it's also easier for the recipient to say yes to — answering one question is low friction. Lucas: Exactly. The senior director responded within three days, and they had a twenty-minute video call the following week. During that call, Camila didn't try to extract a mentorship agreement. She just listened, took notes, and asked one follow-up question at the end: 'Based on what you know now, is there one person in Toronto you think I should talk to next?' Luna: Oh, that's smart. It's a way to get an introduction without asking for one directly. Lucas: It's what I call the 'three-introduction rule.' After any initial conversation with a potential mentor, you want to leave with at least one introduction to someone else in their network. Over three conversations, that gives you three new people to connect with, and the network grows geometrically. Camila got two introductions from that first call — one to a marketing director at a different bank, and one to a recruiter who specialized in fintech. Luna: And did she eventually turn that first contact into a formal mentor relationship? Lucas: She did, but it took time. She kept in touch every six to eight weeks — not with a long email, but with a short update on something she'd learned or a question about a Canadian marketing trend. After about four months, the senior director said, 'You know, I think of you as a mentee at this point. Let's set up a recurring monthly call.' And that was the moment. Luna: So the key was patience and consistency, not a big ask upfront. That's a hard lesson for people who are anxious and want results fast. Lucas: It is. And there's another layer here that's specific to a new geography: cultural norms around mentorship can be very different. In Brazil, Camila told me, it's common for a mentor to be quite direct and even paternalistic — they'll tell you what to do. In Canada, the style tends to be more collaborative and question-based. If she had expected the same style, she might have felt that the Canadian mentor wasn't invested. But she recognized the difference and adapted. Luna: That's something a lot of people overlook. I've heard from expats in Japan, for example, that mentorship there often involves more hierarchy and formality. And in some Scandinavian countries, the approach is almost peer to peer. If you're not aware of those cultural undercurrents, you can misread the relationship entirely. Lucas: So what's the takeaway? If you're in a new geography, don't try to replicate your old mentor relationship. Start with a specific, low-friction ask. Use every conversation to get at least one introduction. And be patient — it can take four to six months to move from a single conversation to a recurring mentorship. But if you do it right, you'll build a network that's actually local and actually relevant. Luna: And if someone says no? Or doesn't respond at all? That's probably the most common fear. Lucas: It happens. Camila actually reached out to five people before she got a yes. Two never replied, one said she was too busy, and one said she wasn't taking on new mentees. That's fine. You're not looking for a yes from everyone — you're looking for one yes from the right person. And the people who say no might still be willing to answer a single question if you follow up politely a few months later. No is not a permanent rejection in this context. Luna: That's a good note to end on. It's a numbers game, but with a strategy behind it. Lucas: Exactly. And if you're listening and you've recently moved, or you're about to move, try this approach. Pick one person this week. Send a thoughtful, specific message. See what happens.