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I Choose …To Love Again · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Welcome,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: my friend. I'm so happy you decided to hang out
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: with me today. I cannot wait to start talking about
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: choices with you and how our choices determine our paths
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: moving forward in life. I have so much in store
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: for you. I promised you that I would share some
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: stories from my life, and that is what I'm going
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: to do today. I want to tell you about the
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: time I decided to let love in again. But hold on,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: let's do that thing. Let's go back in order to
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: go forward.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: In twenty twelve, I went through a very public and
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: painful divorce. I spent the next couple of years grieving
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: and ventually healing. When I find resurfaced into the world,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: back into society, people started encouraging me to get back
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: out there start dating again. That thought honestly made me
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: feel sick. But when the time felt right, I started
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: dipping my toe into that pool. And let me tell you,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: my dating pool was pretty shallow. It was basically set ups,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: friends of friends kind of thing. I had no idea
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: what I was doing, what I was hoping to find,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: who I would find. It was pretty brutal. I was
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: awkward and needy, not a very attractive combo. When I
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: look back now, I see a very lost lady just
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: trying to feel loved again. I was putting way too
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: much importance and focus on getting a man to love
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: me again. It was like I was throwing spaghetti against
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: the wall, just trying to figure out what would stick.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Some of my choices were odd to others, odd to
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: even me, and in my confused and sort of weakened
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: state of self understanding, I saw myself attaching my worth
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: to these guys who had no idea who I really
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: was and who were just not right. Yet I tried
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: so hard to make each one of them love me.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I so wanted to succeed in a relationship, and who knows,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: maybe maybe I was trying so hard because I wanted
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: to show my ex what he had lost, what a
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: mistake he had made. Whatever it was, it wasn't working.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I decided to take a break from searching for that
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: kind of love altogether and just focus on my girls
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: and my job. I was doing a sitcom at the
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: time called Mystery Girls. I was also building a house,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: a home for my new family, which was just me
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: and the girls and our dogs, and I gotta be honest.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I like that vibe a lot more than dating. It
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: was really turning into a good time in my life.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I was finding my self worth again, and I was
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: feeling confident and capable of being out there on my own.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I was reinventing my life. I was doing a lot
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: of work on myself, and I started to think ahead.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: My therapist, Wade High. Wade encouraged me to make a
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: list of my non negotiables. The things that I had
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: learned were top priorities in my next relationship, and here
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: are a few of them. Number one a family man,
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: a man who puts family form first top of the list.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Number two a man who keeps his word honesty very
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: important to me. Number three someone who could make me laugh.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: I really needed some laughter in my life. Number four,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: someone who was confident enough in who they were to
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: let me shine. Also a man who never complained about
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: how much luggage I packed for a trip. And there
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: were others, but I don't remember what they are right now.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: So that was my list, my list of non negotiables.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: That's what I did so I would know when someone
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: came along and checked the boxes. But all the while
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: I was asking myself, do I even really ever want
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: a man in my life again? Which, as you know,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: as a middle aged woman who's gone through a divorce,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: that's a valid question to ask yourself. So now it
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: was the end of twenty fourteen, and what they say
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: is true. It happens when you least expect it, and
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: it helped me tell the story. I want to introduce
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: you to the man who loves to let me shine.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: I want you all to meet my hubs, Dave Abrams, Hi, babe.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: I was thinking we could talk about how we met.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I like that story.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, people like to know these stories.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Everybody loves a what's it called a cute meat meet.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I don't like cute me because you know ours of
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: ours was a blind meet.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Cute. Do you remember the story? Because I remember you
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: get a lot of You get a lot of flak
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: for your memory.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I do, but I remember the story.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Do you want to tell it? Yeah? How about you? Sorry,
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: we'll go with that, okay. So what was what was
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: your perspective on a blind date?
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I thought I was going to talk Oh my god, okay,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: my friend who was uh seeing a guy who was
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: younger than her. She had just been divorced not that
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: long ago, and now she was seeing a younger man.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's so cool. When we started
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: we chatted. She was a school friend, yeah, school friend,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: a mommy friend of mine at school, and I remember
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: we were on our yearly camp out at El Capitan,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: uh huh, and she said to me, would you be
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: open to meeting my boyfriends, one of his best friends.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I wasn't really even like at
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: the place of wanting to meet anybody, but I was
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: at the place in my life after the divorce where
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: I had done a ton of work and I was
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: finally happy on my own. I felt really strong, really confident.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: And then she said that to me, and I was like, okay,
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: I'll practice. Let me practice. I need to practice dating.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: So I went what they set up a blind date
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: basically with us, and it was like a double date.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Do you remember when you googled me?
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Oh that was yeah, that's true.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: People do that. Yeah, everybody.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: You're gonna go out with somebody and it's you know,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: a blond day you google them.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know there was at the time. I
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: don't know if I don't know, if Dave Abrams the
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Chippendale dancer, if you're out there, Dave, he's out there.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: You got a nice physique.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because when you google Dave vid or Dave Abrams, Yeah,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: he was coming up a Chipendale dancer.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Google's all it's all something else, it's all Jenny and Dave.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: It's just Jenny and David.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Anyways. But I thought I was going on a double
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: date with a Chippendale dancer.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, little did you know?
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: No, I knew by the time I got to the restaurant,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I knew you were a Chipendale's dancer. But I did
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: walk in. I did walk in, and immediately what.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: The bar was a crowded by the way, you were
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: late whatever. Do you know how many minutes late? You
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: were like, oh my god, you do yeah, fifteen minutes late.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: We had to wait.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Are you sure it wasn't sixteen minutes, No, fifteen okay.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: For sure. And you were wearing all black and you
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: out of your hair was cut at a bob and
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: a bob. That's cute. Looking back, you ordered like.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Wait, I was talking, this is what happened. I was saying.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: When I walked into the thing, into the bar. It
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: was crowded, and immediately my eyes went to a tall
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: man standing at the bar, like your typical actor, like
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: LA guy that really handsome.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: I'd tee offense to that.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: And immediately I said, oh m hmm. And then they
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: introduced me to you, and you were that guy.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Well, we sat down us four, and we ordered some drinks.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: You said nothing, and then they proceeded to talk. I
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: kind of didn't say anything.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: I didn't really feel social. I wasn't in a social
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: mood to begin with for some reason. Yeah, and then
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: it just it felt awkward. I felt like I was
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: being interviewed almost, and.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: They were talking about nine oh two and oh, and
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I was like, I, all, I don't I don't know
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: the show.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: You never watched it.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: No, I didn't know. I mean my sister did. But
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I mean I knew. I mean obviously I knew of you.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I googled you. You Google. The first thing out of
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: my mouth when I was approached to go in the
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: state was oh, she's three kids. All right, Well whatever,
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: I'll go. Ah and yeah.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Wait, you probably should have really thought that through a
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: little bit more.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, yeah, that's probably a thing I don't
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: really think. So I went in there and yeah, you
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: didn't say a word and you ordered pasta and salt.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: It was a very foodie restaurant, and you know I
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: don't like food.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Looking back, yeah, I was like, oh, do you want
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: to try this? This this place is really good fish pasta. Yeah.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: No, I'm.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Like anyways, looking back, it makes complete a get it.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: And then we left the restaurant. They were leaving and
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: you're we were going to valet. You gave the ticket.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Your car got pulled up right in front of mine.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I was saying, I walked over to you and I
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: was like, after what did we say? Like three sentences
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: of each other. I was like, well, it was really
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: nice meeting you. Can I call you sometime. It's kind
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: of like a like you were going to be like, no,
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: see you and you're like no, but you can follow me,
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I first thought was oh on Instagram. No.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: She was like, no, dummy, follow me in your car.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: So we were on the yeah, and then you like
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: like a like a bat out of hell.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I wanted to get out of there.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: And I don't drive fast, and I like, I've been
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: accused of driving like an old man, I do the
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: speed limit. My motto is I don't. I ain't got
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: nowhere to be. That's gonna kill me. Okay, and you
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: flew and we were in silver Lake.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I needed to I did that intentionally. I drove like
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: that intentionally, and I spoke to you like that intentionally
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: because I needed to know if you were on the
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: same level as me, like, hmmm, a little crazy, spontaneous,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: a little a little wild.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, yeah, I guess I was. You were. I'm
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: not like that though I probably would have went over
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: and went to bed, but I followed you. We went
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: to this little place called Cafe.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Stella, had a little drink at the bar.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: We got to know each other, and you.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Started to make me laugh. Yeah, almost instantly, and I
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: was like, hey, he's not just a pretty face. He's
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: actually funny and fun to hang out with. I like
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: this guy, and you were hot, which started just like
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: change my mind.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Well thank you for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: thought you were like fun and beautiful and refreshing and
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: to the point, not a lot of bullshit. When we
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: left Cafe Cella, I walked you out to the valet.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: And was that our first kid?
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I don't remember it. How was it?
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: It was good? I got tingles, yeah, and then we
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: said goodbye. I lived kind of closed. You lived in
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Studio City, so you lived a little bit further away.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I got home right but right when I pulled into
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: my driveway, I remember getting a text and you said,
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: you want one more drink.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: I was like, okay, what time is it now?
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Oh god? That was well. That place was closing, Cafe's eleven.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: It was like a Tuesday night.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: We are wild.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Tuesday night, eleven o'clock. You text you want one more
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: drink a baye bar, and you sent me this address.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I lived in Studio City. I
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: don't know the bay bar. What bar is this?
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you're telling this story.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I drove over there and I was like,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know this bar. I'm going up a hill.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: It's all residential, residential canyon. And I get to a
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: gate and I text you I'm here, and the gate
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: just opens. I pull in. There's no no, the lights
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: are kind of off, there's no one. I don't know
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: if you're in there. And I walked to the front door.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: It's it's a beautiful, beautiful house. But I'm thinking to myself,
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: what the absolute hell am I doing? What what am
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: I doing? And then we had a we had a
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: nice evening.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: We chatted, you came to the bay bar, came to
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: the bar at a bar then, Yeah, and we named
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: it the Babe bar because it was all girls at
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: my house at the time and there's.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: The big bar. When we sat and we chatted and yeah,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: that was that was it. Came to see the next
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: day at work, it was mosy on up at the bar.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I mean instantly it was we were on that was.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: It over done?
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Didn't look back, Nope, didn't listen to anybody.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: No, m did we have anybody? There was anybody like
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: objecting on your side when we were first together.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Well, what if I tell you that now? Are you
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: going to be mad at them?
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: No? Not at all? No, Wait, who I remember? I
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: remember Luca, But Luca was also seventeen, about to be eighteen.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: I mean that's a pretty significant opposer. Yeah, our oldest daughter.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean senior in high school. There's a lot
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: going on. And then we kind of threw that on her. Yeah.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, by the way, we're getting married after being together
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: for three months.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, after your graduation in July. Wait you graduate June.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, then we're gonna have a wedding. Wait who who? Who?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to think. I don't think that mister Showbiz objected,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: or at least if he did, or if there was
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: any conversation about it, he never told me. I would
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: love to ask him now, like, was there something you
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: wanted to tell me but you never did?
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm for sure it was in the back of
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: his head.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: What about you did your my mom never said because
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: she really liked you and she loved what you brought
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: to our family.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: M hmm. Kind of the same background, you know, kind
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: of were raised in the same like old fashion. Your
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: mom's very old fashioned Midwest. Uh, and so was your dad.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, so mister Shobbs didn't object. My mom didn't object. No,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Adele didn't object. She met you, she vetted you.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well I met Adele, like what was it this
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: second or second week we were together?
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and she loved you. I met your friends mm hmm.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I when my the friend who introduced us
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: already knew you, sort of like acquaintances, and then all
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: my other friends were yeah. On board. I mean, they
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: all thought I was nuts.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Looking back, do you think you were nuts for making
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: that decision? Mmm?
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: I mean, looking back, yeah, I feel like it was
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: a nutty decision. But I wouldn't have done anything different.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: I don't really. I think I don't really have a plan.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I mean we joked sometimes and say, probably should have
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: thought that through a little better.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, even if we had thought it through, even if
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: you had more time to think it through, you were
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: You're saying you would still make the same Yeah.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: I would have made the same decision absolutely, What about you?
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: I would have made the same decision too, only because
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I am crazy and I love adventure and I'm you
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like this just seemed.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Well in the beginning, it's always you know, fun stuff.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: And then you had jobs, and we went on some trips,
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: like we went to Arizona and then we went to
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Cabo and then we went all over the place. So
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: yeah that eventually the trips fizzle out and.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Life gets real.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: I remember thinking, like, once the glitter wears off of
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: this new relationship and the excitement of it all, what's
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: going to happen? Yeah, And we were faced with that
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: reality very early, like literally like a month after we
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: got married.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was that was crazy. Thrust here you go
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: into the real world.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, because your life it's not I mean, our
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: lives both changed. I would say your life changed drastically. Drastically.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: You went from a single.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Guy living in a one bedroom apartment to moving into
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: a little bit of a nicer house in Studio City.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Three four dogs again at the time, three step children,
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, I'm taking you know,
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: the girls to school and walking them into class because
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: this was you know, they were still in the lower school,
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: was the lower in upper school, and everybody would take
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: the kids in in the morning and you'd have stuff
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: to do, and we were like delegating between like Peter
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: had them one week and then we had them the
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: other week.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: And you were so great though, you just really jumped
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: into everything with both feet, like you dove in.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it. And also it was crazy and
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: like being in that situation all of a sudden, I'm
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: at this like prominent Los Angeles school with a bunch
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: of other celebrities walking these kids in and then like.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Were you starstruck?
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah, you forget it.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I might have been because you before me, you were
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: the guy at the grocery store who looked at like
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: the National Inquirer and US Weekly.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah I love the check Yeah yeah, I like.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: You don't love that stuff. Yeah yeah, I don't ever
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: look at those but yeah.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: That whole situation and then that school, and and just
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: like then the events that the school would do, and
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: then becoming like you know, being around those other parents
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: that are are celebrities looking.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: At was really intimidating for you.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: So what do you do again, Dave? Well, I'm opening
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: a restaurant bar oh where Rampart, which to anyone that
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: knows it's not a great area, they would never go
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: to Rampart in East LA. But uh yeah, oh yeah,
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna come down check it out. I don't think
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: you should.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: But you didn't move in right away, No.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: We waited. I slept when the kids were home. I
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: slept in the guest room. That's so cute. It feels
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: like it was like literally like warp speed and went
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: from that to like stepdad.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and looking back, this is something we can talk
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: about in a future episode because it's a pretty significant
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: part of our.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Well perfect I like waiting to talk about things.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Well, you're gonna have to wait because this is a
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: bigger subject. But I think because we did fast track everything,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: there was a lot of like learning and growing on
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: both our parts, but mostly on your part. I mean
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: in like having a family like that and being having
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: all these responsibilities put upon you and yeah, and having
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: to like model for the kids a certain behavior, and
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: just you and I getting on the same page about parenting, which.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: That really wasn't that difficult, right, That wasn't That wasn't
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: but we did.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: My point is we did reach some obstacles that we
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: couldn't get passed or we thought we couldn't get past,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: but it didn't. It took us a while, and I
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: think that you realized, Okay, I'm swimming in the deep
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: end and I need a life preserver.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And then also if you if you take a
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: step back and look at bigger picture, you know, the
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: kids were involved, and that's that's the main thing. And
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: so then all your crazy stuff that's going on in
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: your head that like it may seem overwhelming, Well, you
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: made this choice and we have to like kind of
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: figure this out. And we did. We we're still going
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: to therapy and and doing a lot of like work.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: But it was it was, it was we reached an impasse.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we weren't doing we weren't doing the right work.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: It was. It was actually we were trying to get
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: everybody else to do it for us in a weird way.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Does that make sense to you at all? No? Okay,
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: Well we did go to like three different therapists, and
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: you remember, Barbara.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: We tried some things. We really did try.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: We gave it all we did, and we reached.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: It and passed it. We'll talk about that in another episode.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: But because I have some notes for that, I think
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: it says I didn't do anything wrong.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: No, no, not at all. But I'm really proud of us.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I'm proud of us for like finding somebody Like when
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: I found you, I knew this is a good man.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: This is a person that I can see in my home,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: I can see around my kids, and I can see
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: growing into you know, who we're going to be as
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: a couple. I can see that with them. Yeah, you
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: were very willing and like you seem like you wanted
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: it too.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I did. I did. But But does this make sense
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: without knowing it? You know, just just really being in
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: love with you? Kind of took over everything. And then
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: I said, well, if that's there, then you know we
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: can do anything. There's obviously, you know, more to that,
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: because they say, you know, love conquers all, it actually does,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: but you know it's not. You know, there's there's that
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: other there's that other layer to it that you really
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: have to work on. But I was just so in
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: love with you. I was. I was in love with
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: the kids. I was, you know, in love with an
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: exciting life that we can make, and then you don't
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: really think about all the other stuff, A lot of
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: other stuff. Yep.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: We threw caution to the winds, but.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: It worked out. I mean, it's working out.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't want it any other way.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: So it's a choice we have to make every day.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: We chose each other that first night.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: That's pretty cool.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: You said before that you didn't know if mister Showbiz
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: approved of you. Did you know that he listens to
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: every recording of this podcast, so we can ask him
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: right now in real wa. Yeah, Hey, mister I heard
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Days say something before you started recording where he mentioned me,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: and I thought, I hope that.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: That she doesn't say that.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I had a problem because I specifically did not I
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: had a problem with several other guys.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah no, I know, yes, I know about that, but
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: not this guy.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Absolutely not not this guy.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Not this guy.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get a T shirt for you that says,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: not this guy.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Not this guy.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, it's just me again. I'm wondering what you
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: guys are thinking of me right now because that was
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: pretty bold. But you know what, I honestly have no
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: shame in that game. I had been letting men lead
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: me around for long enough, letting the man make the moves,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: make the decisions on whether to move forward in the
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: relationship or not. And I was over that. I was
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: over being the passenger in that car. And here's the key.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: I had started loving my life again, choosing what I wanted.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: I was choosing me for the very first time in
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: a long time. And that is exactly when it happened.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I believe sometimes in life, when you find something you
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: really want, something that feels right, you just have to
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: put it all on the line. You have to go
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: for it. And that is what I did. I went
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: for it because at the end of the day, I
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: really did want what we all want, love loyalty, companionship.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: Would I make the same decision again, Yes, Yes, I would, yep, yep, yep.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: It hasn't always been easy, but I would absolutely choose
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: love again. Choosing to love again after heartbreak it's a
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: profound act of courage, and it is complicated. It's about
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: acknowledging the pain of the past, but at the same
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: time refusing to let that pain define our future. It
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: involves embracing vulnerability, opening ourselves up to that possibility of
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: hurt all over again, and trusting that we are worthy
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: of love. One of the biggest challenges is overcoming that
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: fear of getting hurt again, because after experiencing heartbreak, it's
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: natural to build walls around our hearts to protect ourselves.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: But those walls can also prevent us from fully experiencing
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: love and connection again. And I know it is so
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: hard to let go of that past baggage and those
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: old stories and those old insecurities. But I want you
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: to see that each new relationship is an opportunity. It's
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: an opportunity to reinvent yourself and your life, just like
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: I did. It's a choice, and it's a choice. I
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: hope you find the courage to invite into your life too.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I love you now. I want you to go look
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you too.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: I'll be right here next week. I hope you will