Latest / Call Her Tatty / DATING, DOORMEN & DA’AS TORAH 🫣 | Call Her Tatty ft. Dovie Neuberger

Transcript

DATING, DOORMEN & DA’AS TORAH 🫣 | Call Her Tatty ft. Dovie Neuberger · Call Her Tatty

• 0:00
  Shafelas I am so excited to present to you today's guest. He is super funny. I'm sure you've
• 0:08
  seen him on Instagram. He goes viral a lot. And I mean, I am just very excited that he's here.
• 0:16
  Welcome. Thank you for having me. I thought you said shafelas. What does this say? No, it's just funny.
• 0:23
  Kindle. He is don't be. Okay, so dovey you live in the upper west side. And I just kind of like
• 0:32
  want to dive into current situation right now in the upper west side. How is that working out for you?
• 0:38
  My current situation that upper side is funny. You say that because I'm leaving the upper west side
• 0:42
  like August 1st breaking news. Breaking news ladies. He's leaving the upper west side.
• 0:49
  I don't know. I mean, it's got its pros and cons. I'm not like the I'm not like the guy that's
• 0:53
  like everyone should come to the upper west side. Why did you go to the upper west side? It's just
• 0:56
  where you go. It's the next stop on the conveyor belt. How old are you? I'm 29. But I moved there
• 1:01
  probably when I was 26, maybe 26 and I lived there for two and a half years. The only problem
• 1:07
  the upper west side is that like it's it's not so much as single as unity as it is a community of
• 1:11
  people that fail to get married. Because I lived in the upper west side for four years. And people
• 1:15
  like assume it's just like a party city. I'm like, what party do you refer to? It's not fun at all.
• 1:20
  Like what? Like the Friday night dinners that everyone makes like a potlock? Oh gross.
• 1:25
  Have you been to one of those? Have I been to one of those? I've been to a thousand of them.
• 1:28
  I actually like eating a family's way more. Right? Because like my like approach to
• 1:33
  you just get in general is like when you do something religious like do it in the authentic way.
• 1:38
  When you do something trade do it in that authentic way. You know what I mean? I got it in a
• 1:42
  fight with my roommates about Purim because like they wanted to have a Viby upper west side style.
• 1:47
  Just like you know like an upper west side party. I'm Purim at our place where it's like all the
• 1:52
  people we love and we know like guys and girls and and I was like, oh it's not like I'd rather
• 1:57
  like if it was Saturday night and we're doing Saturday night let's do Saturday night but it's not.
• 2:00
  It's Purim. It's just like have guys only have Purim the way like we all did it in Yushiva and
• 2:08
  enjoy it and it's I could do that any other day. Do you feel like you ever grew out of that like
• 2:13
  Yushiva state? Did I grow out? I mean I don't know like I was never like so when I bounced around
• 2:19
  from Yushiva's but there's so many like nostalgic parts of it I still enjoy and I don't
• 2:24
  want it to be like tainted by like a stupid upper west side Purim part. But how has the dating?
• 2:29
  I hope I date so much in the upper west side. I think the girls I like I've definitely dated
• 2:33
  the girls from there but how controversial are we getting on this podcast? We can get as controversial
• 2:37
  as you want and then if we feel like it's just slightly inappropriate we can get rid of that portion
• 2:44
  if you'd like. I mean your views on like dating and relationships always change and I think like
• 2:50
  one of the criticisms of like the upper west side not the upper west side like Jewish single
• 2:53
  communities in general is that like people don't people get comfortable in their singlehood and
• 2:58
  like don't get married. I don't think that's what it is actually I just think it's like when you go
• 3:02
  to a new place with a ton of people and you meet someone you like and you click with you never
• 3:08
  you don't date them because you're like well let me see like what else they're serving here.
• 3:11
  And then you just like never end up like in exploring any of those relationships in a genuine
• 3:16
  way which is where like the shitter system for all its flaws is actually way better because you're
• 3:20
  in a controlled environment with one person and you're meeting to see if you should get married
• 3:26
  and that either ends in marriage or ends in the relationship not working out but then you move on
• 3:31
  to the next one it's like a much more it's much more conducive to getting married it's not always
• 3:36
  conducive to like building the most enjoyable relationships but. Right but how long have you
• 3:41
  been lived in upper west side for? Like two three years. Would you say the majority of girls that
• 3:47
  you've dated there? Well in New York. I haven't dated all that many girls from upper west side.
• 3:50
  No so you date them from like other parts of New York. I just like I also like I don't enjoy
• 3:55
  like when you date someone from upper west side like you you meet them at an event with a thousand
• 3:58
  other guys right and it's not like you and them in a genuine it like in a genuine purpose filled
• 4:06
  like date you're competing with a thousand other guys. How does that for you? I just don't enjoy
• 4:11
  that style. Are you confident? I go up and down in my confidence depending on my. What are you
• 4:16
  self-conscious about? Every guys self-conscious. Right. What are you like insecure about? Yeah let's
• 4:21
  hear this. I'm actually genuinely curious. I mean for a while I was like someone who was trying to
• 4:27
  be a comedian that was just like so cringe you know. Why is that cringe? Because like I wasn't like
• 4:31
  big on social media or anything I was just like like like you're at a new shop. At least you know
• 4:35
  you can have fun on a date and like if the girl doesn't want to talk at least you have something
• 4:40
  to say and like keep it somewhat entertaining. Yeah I'm not like like I'm not like I'm not the
• 4:44
  most entertaining person like in like you and to you an interaction. I'm like very performative
• 4:48
  by nature and like and stand up and and like Instagram every else like people are tend to be
• 4:54
  underwhelmed I would say when they when they meet me. But I don't know I was definitely
• 4:59
  insecure about that for sure like when I shut a table full of investment bankers and you're like I
• 5:03
  like do comedy shows and they're like why have I never seen you like what's like also when you're
• 5:07
  starting out. Right. Like what does that mean you're a comedian. Right. And then every guy
• 5:11
  is like I'm a comedian too. I'm funny. I just don't do it. I just I just have a real job also.
• 5:15
  But when you go out with a girl that's like young and from the suburbs and still in a place
• 5:21
  like a healthy like want to get married or is a family place like it's just much more intuitive
• 5:25
  to me. I find. Yeah. So I I lived in the upper west side after I got divorced. So you're
• 5:31
  divorced. Yeah. No I'm kidding I know. I mean I'm remarried now but I yeah I know but anybody
• 5:37
  who starts a podcast called Caller Tati has some. Oh okay. So has that at least one divorce.
• 5:44
  I mean no the name was just a spinoff of another name of another podcast. Oh or not
• 5:48
  that side they might see us. I don't want to say what it is but we all know it is. Okay. Yeah
• 5:51
  I when I was living in the upper west side like obviously my views on marriage were like completely
• 5:55
  different than the before I even got married and my mindset was so different and I was looking
• 6:03
  for things that were very different. Mind you right after I got divorced. My brain was just like
• 6:09
  not in the right headspace in terms of I was so confused because I thought I knew what I wanted
• 6:16
  but obviously what I wanted didn't work out for me. So now I'm in this like situation where I'm
• 6:20
  like okay that's what I wanted and now obviously that didn't work out so now I have to go find
• 6:24
  what will work for me. So I dated all different types of people. All different age ranges.
• 6:30
  Short tall skinny fat. Someone who had a. You thought you thought you might want a fat guy
• 6:37
  is that what you're saying. You have to try everything. You know what don't know. Maybe. I mean
• 6:42
  that's the least conducive way to build a relationship is to have a checklist. I mean it happens to be
• 6:47
  like whatever one does but like it's the least for how it told me this. I think it was like one of my
• 6:51
  or bad. I mean like the biggest contradiction and her it within dating is that you are doing what
• 6:56
  is like by definition the most judgmental experience of all time. You're sitting across for a person
• 7:00
  and judging their values and their experiences and seeing if they are good enough for you and if
• 7:03
  they will make a good space while at the same time trying to build like a romantic relationship
• 7:07
  which by definition like you have to be you cannot be judgmental in order to build like a good
• 7:11
  relationship. What do you mean? Meaning like if you are a person of course I'm judging the person
• 7:17
  across the table. That makes it and it makes it difficult to build a genuine romantic relationship
• 7:22
  with someone who's constantly judging. I feel like that's a complete opposite. Why? Because if I'm not
• 7:27
  judging somebody on a date I'm not doing my job. That's the inherent contradiction. I'm saying it's
• 7:34
  like it's hard but you you also want to build a real relationship with them. You want to build
• 7:38
  unconditional loving relationship with them and it's hard to fall into that. I don't know. I don't
• 7:44
  know how people have this like unconditional love whatever when people date for a few months and
• 7:48
  then they think they love them and it's like it's very hard to see red flags when you're wearing
• 7:52
  rose tinted glasses sitting over dinner for like a few times and then trying to not judge them
• 7:59
  and then a agree to have something long term like I find that kind of like ridiculous.
• 8:07
  But then how do you like fall in love with someone that you're constantly judging? You take your time
• 8:11
  and if somebody if dating is so hard and you're struggling to date someone it's not going to get
• 8:17
  better when you're married. No I'm not saying it's struggling. I'm just saying like when you if
• 8:22
  you're dating for marriage and you're meeting this person on a date and you're simultaneously trying
• 8:27
  to figure out if they match your values and want to make a good spouse but at the same time like
• 8:32
  there's just the intangible piece of like you have to like genuinely connect and be in love with
• 8:36
  this person. Those two building those two things go against each other I think. Meaning doing the
• 8:44
  research this is like a very clinical assessment as does this person agree with me on what kind of
• 8:49
  lifestyle you want to live and what's most important to us and whatever religious level monetary
• 8:55
  this and that that's like a very just like clinical judgmental process. Look at him. Do I think he's
• 9:01
  going to be a good father? Do I think he's going to make enough money for me? Then there's the like
• 9:06
  building the intangible like two people have to fall in love on a chemical like non rational basis
• 9:11
  and when you're constantly judging that person simultaneously because of this side it's very hard
• 9:16
  to fall in love with them. I think we're that. I over-correct in general like I have no checklist and
• 9:22
  I ignore this whole thing and I just look for like the chemical and like emotional connection and then
• 9:28
  people yell at me and are like like what about ABC and D and I tend to not care. So what are you
• 9:33
  looking for? I just said I don't like I don't know. No well like if you had like build a girl
• 9:38
  like a build a bear. Yeah. What would you build her? By the way with AI no doubt in 10 years now you
• 9:45
  could build your own life. Right but then you see like when if you could build a girl then you wouldn't
• 9:49
  fall in love with them because they're they're it's just not a real thing. Why it could be your dream
• 9:54
  girl. But like you're like the piece of like the connection is not something that checks all your
• 10:01
  boxes. It's just something that like you it's like totally intangible. It's almost like spiritual
• 10:06
  in a sense. Yeah but if you had to like envision your ideal wife what qualities would she have?
• 10:14
  What would she look like? How would she talk to you? What kind of a mother would she be?
• 10:20
  Good at all of those. I would hope so. I don't know it's changed so much and it always changes but
• 10:27
  I don't know everyone's looking for someone like super giving. I think that's like the most the
• 10:30
  most thing like the thing most important thing is like someone's super selfless. That good balance
• 10:34
  of obsessed with you but also knows how to like push you and be your best at the same time which
• 10:38
  is so hard. Like when they're criticizing you and critiquing you and like managing you you know
• 10:47
  it comes from such a place of love because I'm obsessed there with you. Right so sometimes tough
• 10:51
  love is actually like coming from real love because I see this even in my marriage with Zoli
• 10:56
  and I love him and he always said I love you more and I say no we just we have different
• 11:02
  love languages. What's your love language? Gifts but um but he's like he's like I can see by the way
• 11:10
  I'm hearing the rings I could tell. Oh no this is like my own like situation probably before
• 11:17
  I even met him but my love language is gifts and not necessarily like a jewelry piece. It could be
• 11:23
  I saw this like sweet treat at the market and I knew you were gonna like it. I love candy so
• 11:28
  if he finds like a new candy at the market and brings it home like it doesn't have to be expensive
• 11:33
  it just has to be good. No no but my yeah my love language is definitely gifts and his is words
• 11:38
  of affirmation. That's so funny. Most guys it's words of affirmation because they need their
• 11:43
  ego stroked. Right so when I tell Zoli like oh you look like a snack right now it's like
• 11:49
  his whole- Have you ever said that sentence? Wow. You'll say that you look like a snack right now.
• 11:54
  I mean I've said worse but yeah. I mean I am married to him. I guess it's not appropriate.
• 12:02
  I wouldn't know how to respond to such a sentence. What if someone told you- if someone if you
• 12:06
  weren't in date with the girl and she's like wow you look fantastic or- That's not the same
• 12:11
  as you look like a snack right now. Right. I wouldn't say anything like- I gotta leave I can't be here.
• 12:18
  I don't know. I'd be like what kind of snack. Okay so for all the people who live in the upper
• 12:25
  west side. Where do you think the best shot of meeting somebody would be at? Would it be a Friday
• 12:32
  night dinner? Would it be at a party? Would it be at a bar? Like if you had to like- Oh yeah
• 12:37
  no. The best way to like meet someone that you're trying to marry is on a date because then you're
• 12:40
  in the- you're already like you already in the context of- we are seeing if we like each other-
• 12:45
  But how do you get to that date? Where are you meeting that person to take them on a date? Is it a
• 12:48
  nap? Is it hinge? J-Swipe? It's a good question. Probably like to see if they have like really
• 12:55
  cool Instagram Reels that would say that was the best way. Instagram Reels? Not kidding. I'm talking
• 12:59
  about myself. Do people DM you like all the time? Do people DM me to date me all the time? No it's
• 13:03
  happened. Yeah and then you're like block. No I've never blocked anyone actually. Really?
• 13:09
  I was on the verge of blocking my first person. Really? What happened? He's just so weird. Oh it's a
• 13:14
  he. Yeah. I thought it would be like more spicy. He's so damn weird. I just like- What would he say?
• 13:19
  Or do we not want to say? No there's definitely girls that have been block worthy that I have in
• 13:22
  block worthy. Block worthy? Yeah. Okay that's going to be a new phrase that we're going to say block
• 13:27
  worthy. Yeah. Okay. Where's the best place to meet? Yeah. Oh there's a happy hour on the east
• 13:30
  side. I like a lot. Which place? Khabad has like a happy hour like Friday night. It's very
• 13:36
  hit or miss. It's actually a funny place because sometimes you'll go in there and you'll be like
• 13:40
  there's like literally like this is hell on earth and sometimes- Which Khabad? Khabad upper east side.
• 13:44
  I believe it's like software. I was living in the east side during COVID. Yeah you're too
• 13:47
  fancy for me that's why. No because I was living on the east side during COVID and then I went to
• 13:52
  software for like one job is and then nobody went to school because it was COVID. Right.
• 13:59
  So I just like stayed home and like invited my friends over and we just like- No but I do believe
• 14:04
  like if you're like honestly probably the best way to meet someone is not in those contexts. Like
• 14:09
  realistically that's where you have to meet them in order to get an idea with them. But like if
• 14:12
  you could get on a date with them before you meet them in those contexts you'll have a much
• 14:17
  better shot of building like of them like you because if you meet them at a single event like you
• 14:21
  okay like I said they're not meeting you in a vacuum there are inherently comparing you to
• 14:25
  every other guy there. Right. Right. In general when you live in- the city is just one big
• 14:30
  single scene really. It really is. So wherever you meet someone in in the city they like she's
• 14:36
  comparing you with all the other guys she met in the city. Yeah that's so sad though. It's very
• 14:41
  hard to have appeal unless you're like new on the block like new to a given location. Right.
• 14:45
  No I hear that because like I hate to say it but when I was living there and the first year I was
• 14:51
  there I obviously downloaded all the dating apps. Right. You saw what was- who was available?
• 14:57
  I- Have you ever gone multiple dates in a day? No. I actually one time- this was actually
• 15:04
  before I got married to my first husband. I had a date with somebody and we went to Lamaray.
• 15:09
  Is that good or bad? I want to figure out- No like I love Lamaray and like the guy asked me
• 15:14
  do you want to go here and I said yeah I love that place. Great steak, freets like whatever.
• 15:18
  Right. Glass Cabernet like I have to do- And you were like shit off dating at this point?
• 15:21
  Yeah I wish I was so young I was like 18 or 19 years old. 18 you started dating at 18.
• 15:25
  Well I was a seminary. No and I skipped 12th grade I did not go to seminary I went straight
• 15:29
  from 11th grade to college. And so- And you started dating at that time?
• 15:33
  I actually started dating when I was 17. That's illegal right? For how? We were just dating
• 15:37
  each food at a table with somebody that's legal. There's nothing illegal about that. Right.
• 15:42
  And your parents like knew like they were on board? Of course they now. That's wild. That's very
• 15:48
  serious. But no because I hate to say it but like in the real world people date when they're 15,
• 15:54
  16 years old what's the difference? Like in the non-Jews world they date other high schoolers
• 15:58
  just so you're aware. I understand that. They're not like dating 30-year-old men like
• 16:03
  whatever I had my thing. So who took you to prom? So no it happens to be it was a guy so I was like
• 16:10
  18 or 19 and the guy was like 20 or 21. Okay. And we go out. Great conversation. I just knew like
• 16:18
  this guy was like too similar to me. And I was like just doesn't feel like we compliment each other.
• 16:25
  Like we could be friends but like I can't see myself marrying this guy. And a shotgun. What?
• 16:32
  There's no such thing as friends. No I have some guy friends that are like legit friends.
• 16:36
  Like their friends. But the shotgun knew I was there for like a week and they're like well if
• 16:44
  that one didn't work I'll say yep someone else. So then she set me up with another guy and
• 16:48
  that guy took me to Lama Ray the next night. So I went to Lama Ray twice. And all the waiters are
• 16:52
  like this girl. And I got the same table and the same waiter and he's like you want the same
• 16:57
  thing you had last night. And I'm like oh my god and I'm like and the guy sitting across
• 17:03
  tables like so confused. He's like what? You were here last night like no no I probably look
• 17:07
  just like somebody else. And like the waiter's like look at me like you're such a liar. I'm like
• 17:12
  what am I supposed to do? I didn't know I wasn't getting this table. There's got to be like
• 17:15
  confidential agreements with like waiters and questions. What are you talking about? All the
• 17:18
  dormant in the city. You think they have confidentiality agreement? They I wanted to do a podcast
• 17:23
  with just dormant in the city. They know they know the door. Everybody. Oh my god. It's probably
• 17:29
  really juicy. Of course it is. Yeah. There was one dormant that I wrote. He was like the dormant
• 17:34
  in a famous building and he wrote like a book about it. But if we had dormant in just like in like
• 17:39
  the Jewish buildings. Not like imagine like just like Park West Village like Stonehenge all
• 17:47
  like the Jewish buildings. So I used to live in Stonehenge on 89. It was like the stern why you
• 17:52
  like literal. Right. That's what I'm saying. It's just the next step on the conveyor belt. Like
• 17:56
  there's a there's a conveyor about it like like you're supposed to fall off it and get married
• 18:02
  at certain points and then people who like don't fall off it just like stay on it and they
• 18:06
  hit the upper one side and then like they're supposed to fall off it there. They don't fall off
• 18:09
  it there. They hit the east side. If they don't fall off it there. I don't know what the hell
• 18:11
  happens to them. What was your worst date you ever had? I had like such bad dates. Do you
• 18:18
  usually take them for drinks? Yeah. No. No. I mean I've said yeah. I think it's smart. Especially if
• 18:24
  you don't know. I swear a day when I was 20 also. Oh wow. So you've been in the game for like a
• 18:28
  while. Yeah. And so you're like screw this. I'm not getting $100 and it was like every time I go
• 18:32
  out. $100. First of all the city drinks is like $100. It is. It's crazy. If you like especially like
• 18:39
  if you're ubering drinks is literally $200. It's crazy. If you go to like a rooftop bar like each
• 18:45
  drink is like $25. But have you ever been on a date where you're like I want to kill myself?
• 18:51
  Like this is like I'm sure but they all listen to they all follow me so I don't know if I could.
• 18:56
  You're not saying names. I've been on dates around it like if yeah. Like what was like something
• 19:02
  that like just was like I always I feel like you always try to make the most of it like if you're
• 19:06
  on a date where like I just want to kill myself like you look at it as an experiment. Right.
• 19:09
  Right. I mean I think of it as a learning experience. Right. That's what I did. I don't know.
• 19:15
  Let's see what I can convince this girl. Let's see if I can convince her. I was in the Marines.
• 19:18
  Okay. So what's your biggest pet peeve on a date? What's my biggest pet peeve on a date?
• 19:25
  I could give you mine. Yeah. What's yours? Like chewing with your mouth open. It's disgusting.
• 19:29
  You would hate being on a date with me. No, I don't. I look I was once on a date with someone and
• 19:34
  they were eating like I don't think people should get food on dates though. And I'm like I lost my appetite.
• 19:38
  I think I'll take it to go. Eating is a very intimate experience. Like it is. I don't want to eat
• 19:42
  with someone until I'm extremely comfortable with it. No, but you need to know off the bat because
• 19:46
  that's it. You started liking someone and then you're like a third date in and then you're like
• 19:49
  they eat like that. Like I'm out. And they don't change. Just letting you know they don't change.
• 19:56
  And that's a flaw you could live with. I cannot live with that. I would I would not live with that.
• 20:02
  Is that what happened in your first? No, but it's just something that I noticed. Like I'm just
• 20:07
  one of those crazy people were like the slurping the chewing. No, those like heavy breathers.
• 20:13
  Like people who make a lot of noise by just doing nothing. I'm the loudest true in the world.
• 20:21
  I think it's because my teeth. But maybe I'll find someone who does that too. So like it's cool.
• 20:24
  I wouldn't want someone that does that. It's like me that's gross.
• 20:29
  I don't know. I hate eating on dates. Like you're you're nervous. Like especially at first or
• 20:33
  second date, like your stomach closes up. Like you always end up like no one actually ends up eating.
• 20:37
  Right. And you just leave it. One pet people I had it's not like such a pet peeve.
• 20:41
  I don't like like if the girl wouldn't say like oh, text me and you get back. If I like drove to
• 20:48
  the five sounds and I was like leaving it like midnight. And even if like they didn't want to go
• 20:52
  out with me again. Like I wanted them to say like text me and you get back. That was like the
• 20:56
  smallest thing. I was like oh, I was like the biggest indicator of someone who like can think outside
• 21:02
  of their own like their own what's going on with me right now. Right. Someone who doesn't say
• 21:06
  that like is not thinking there's another person to this that came out to take me out paid for
• 21:11
  everything and has another hour drive back to the city right now. Right. That was like always a big
• 21:16
  thing for me. I don't know why. But that was always like something about me. Do you ever work with
• 21:21
  Shachanim to set you up or your life? Yeah. What's the funniest thing Ashachan ever said to you?
• 21:27
  The funniest thing Ashachan ever said to me. Oh, there's gotta be good ones. I wish I had these
• 21:32
  questions in advance. I know. Well, I have like a whole routine on it. I can't like spill my
• 21:35
  material now. Okay. But well, didn't you have a routine on me and my husband? I did have a
• 21:40
  routine on UNZali about the about the Shachanim like the Shachanim Ponzi scheme. Yeah. That you
• 21:45
  could you guys got set up by the same Shachanim. Yeah. On your first marriages. Yeah. So I think that guy
• 21:50
  is a genius. He had four couples. Three. No, I'm saying he had four sorry, he had four people and he knew
• 21:59
  that you and Zali are supposed to marry each other. But he's like, if I put them together, I'm
• 22:02
  only like a one commission. I could do it this way. I'll get two commissions today and one in four
• 22:06
  years or now. And he did that. I don't know if he was paid on the last commission. He wasn't?
• 22:12
  I don't know. I don't remember. Why wouldn't you? Whatever. He should have given me a refund
• 22:16
  with the first one. So I think you know what I think there should be like a renewal agreement
• 22:21
  in marriages where like you renew every five to ten years. But then you would have to pay
• 22:26
  him a new commission every five to ten years. But I think if your marriage is good enough,
• 22:29
  you would pay for it. It's like it's like a lease renewal. Like if someone like stays in their house
• 22:34
  that you sell them for five years, are they going to pay you another commission? It depends
• 22:37
  what the listing agreement says. Everything's negotiable. That's what I learned everything as
• 22:42
  negotiable. If you sell someone a house and they hate it after a month and sell it, you still keep
• 22:46
  your commission. Yeah, obviously. Right. So I literally just on that. It's like literally I sold
• 22:53
  something in downtown two weeks later. It's back on the market. Are you selling it again?
• 22:57
  No, I'm not selling it again. But like people do interesting things in the business.
• 23:01
  I'm trying to think I like the funniest thing I should have never said to you.
• 23:04
  Well, while you think about that, I'm also going to ask you another question. Sure.
• 23:07
  What's the most Yechivish pickup line you've ever heard of or used?
• 23:12
  The most, I actually just did a real right to like Jewish pickup lines. Those aren't like so
• 23:16
  Yechivish. You mean there aren't really Yechivish pickup lines because if you're really Yechivish,
• 23:20
  you don't need a pickup line. So what would you say if you're like ultra Yechivish like to a girl?
• 23:24
  Like, I don't even know how you would approach a girl if you'd never like even like
• 23:27
  not work. Like, can I get your Doria Sharm number? Like right off the bat. That could be like a
• 23:31
  producer. You're speaking of life. It's like so Yechivish. Yeah. And like Doria Sharm only.
• 23:36
  Like if they did like any other ones, like, it's not like 23 and me and like whatever. 23 and me.
• 23:40
  I don't know. No, I don't even know what they do. What's the most Yechivish pickup line someone's
• 23:44
  ever used on you? And I've really dated Yechivish people. So I don't know.
• 23:49
  Aren't you Yechivish? No. You're insulted. If you're insulted, that means I'm not insulted. I mean,
• 23:54
  I went to very high school. Beacackle. That's very Yechivish. But I didn't go there by choice.
• 24:01
  And everybody knows that. I'd never been anyone from Yechivish. That one there by choice.
• 24:06
  There were no options in LA. You have literally a choice of three schools. They're all very
• 24:11
  different. Like you don't have options. I've heard this, like, I've heard this exact, like,
• 24:17
  justification for someone going to base out of LA 150 times in my life. So have you dated
• 24:21
  girls from LA? Yeah, for sure. Okay. I feel like that would be your vibe, like out of town,
• 24:26
  but cool. I feel like I wouldn't be there by, but yeah. Why not? I don't know. I don't know how
• 24:32
  many Hancock Park families are looking for like a comedian son. Depends. Everyone looks for
• 24:38
  their own thing. I mean, listen, if people just prioritize in having someone like funny or like,
• 24:45
  they don't really care about anything else. Find me that family. That's like, oh, we just
• 24:50
  like want a funny guy. I'm gonna find you. Don't even care. Like, if you make money, like, yeah,
• 24:56
  find me. Find me that LA family. I dare you. Okay. I probably could. No, you can't. Whatever,
• 25:03
  maybe in the valley. Oh, gross. Valley. Why? Oh, don't give me that. Like, you grew up in
• 25:09
  a guy where you definitely. No, literally, people used to ask me, are you from the valley? I'm like,
• 25:13
  but Valley girls do have like an accent. They're very like singing songs. Not Jewish,
• 25:17
  Valley girls. I don't know. I remember something funny to shop inside. It wasn't the worst, but like,
• 25:21
  I remember, like, when I told her, like, I thought a girl was stupid and she's like, and like, I
• 25:27
  didn't want to go out with her again. And she's like, listen, like, you're not looking for a
• 25:30
  russet. Like, they don't have to be like, I'm like, trust me. I know I'm not looking for a russet,
• 25:35
  because I would never show up to their marriage, then. I've heard a lot of Shachanem. Like, they
• 25:43
  want to. They want to describe people. Like, obviously, in the. That's the biggest round of
• 25:50
  Shachanem. That's the biggest round of Shachanem. Is that they only use adjectives and they won't
• 25:53
  actually say facts. So they use which are adjectives are so inherently like relative. Like telling me
• 26:00
  an adjective like from or cool or like, it doesn't mean anything. It only means anything in relative
• 26:07
  to like something else. Like, I think Shachanem should only be a lot of say facts. She wears X,
• 26:12
  right? She goes to this concert. She like, if you say she's cool, she sure doesn't mean anything to
• 26:19
  me. And even if you use the words like, like, from, or you she wish, like that in one person's mind
• 26:24
  is totally different connotation as something else. Right. It's so funny because I remember I was
• 26:31
  talking to a Shachan who called me on a reference of a friend of mine. And I never get those calls.
• 26:39
  I love getting them. And I'm very honest because I don't like being somebody to be like held
• 26:47
  accountable for like lying. And I remember a Shachan called me about somebody who I was
• 26:54
  friends with when I was, you know, in grade school and high school. And they were asking me about this
• 26:59
  specific person. And they're like, she's still thin. And I was like, honestly, like, she's not a
• 27:05
  size two. She's not a size four. And I said, like, I'm not going to lie because like, what's the
• 27:10
  point? Like, if this guy is going to be that guy who's like, I'm not eating anybody larger than a
• 27:14
  size four than like the girls not for him. We don't know what sizes are guys, by the way.
• 27:18
  I don't know, like, you say size two says four says you're, I have no idea what that guy's like
• 27:22
  thinks someone who's like a size two is not necessarily a size two. They're usually bigger. But like,
• 27:26
  they think like they're thin, but also girls carry the way very differently. They make the sizes
• 27:32
  like so much smaller for girls. Like, I'm a size like 32. Right. So we don't have sizes like that.
• 27:38
  Right. Well, it depends like for women like jeans. It's like, you know, 25, 26, 27, I don't know.
• 27:43
  I guess it's like the waist size. Right. That's inches around your waist. Right. So I mean,
• 27:47
  for it's usually goes by like dress size for women. So dress size is literally the full
• 27:51
  shebang. So it's like two, four, six, eight. But we're all proportionately different. So like,
• 27:58
  just because someone buys a size six dress doesn't mean that they're actually size six. So it's
• 28:03
  actually it's not really cut and clear. Yeah. I like that she asked if she was thin. Like, she wasn't
• 28:07
  like, well, some people have a preference. And if you're going to marry somebody and wake up to
• 28:12
  them every single day for the rest of your life, you should want to enjoy what you're looking at.
• 28:17
  And people who are like, oh, but like, oh, it looks don't really matter. No, they do. They do matter.
• 28:23
  Oh, does anyone actually think they don't matter? I think it's such an antiquated approach.
• 28:27
  Like, when I got like, I mean, they don't solve your problems and they don't pay your bills.
• 28:31
  Of course not. But when I start like listening to a speech, like when someone starts telling you,
• 28:35
  like, well, the thing about looks, if fades, this and that, like, I get it. Like, I've had this
• 28:39
  conversation a million times, but like, if you're like still trying to convince me, like, not to
• 28:43
  care about looks like you're just you live in like 1965. It's just like not a thing anyway. And
• 28:49
  that could be better or worse. And our world is like messed up because of social media and all these
• 28:53
  things like granted. But like, you're not like changing that. Right. But I also do think that
• 28:59
  I forgot which comedian said this, but he was had a bit on dating people. They're the sale. They're
• 29:04
  the floor model. The whole point of like, how they are and how they look at right now is because
• 29:08
  they need to get themselves sold. Like, so who are they going to be in 30 years from now? What
• 29:13
  are they going to look like? So I think a lot of things like habits, like a guy or a girl like
• 29:17
  works out every day, takes care of their health, you know, maintains himself. Like people who are
• 29:23
  like doing that on a consistent basis, like most likely, they will end up looking pretty good
• 29:29
  in 30 years from now. That's why we're got a lot. Do you? I actually just hired a trainer for
• 29:36
  the first time because I just felt like what kind of workout? I don't know. I don't know yet. Wait like 40
• 29:43
  minutes. Oh, what kind? Yeah, like what do you do? Like, is it yoga, weights, training? You do some
• 29:48
  weights. We smooth a lot. Oh, so you so you work out your job? Yeah. Okay, that's fine. Okay,
• 29:56
  we're going to play a little game this or that. So pretty girl or rich father in law. Pretty girl.
• 30:03
  Why? I like the answer. Yeah, but say why? Well, her rich father in law would be my dad. So that's
• 30:12
  already not having a. No, no, for you. Her rich father in law. I mean like, I don't know,
• 30:18
  it sounds cliche, but like one is just like so much like one just matters and one just like
• 30:23
  doesn't matter. They both come with like a lot of baggage. Pretty girl or a rich father. They could
• 30:28
  like meaning like rich father in laws are like stereotypically controlling and pretty girls are
• 30:34
  stereotypically. Right. We could say that. Oh, so you could say it. I mean, you're always trying to
• 30:42
  find the diamond or all you're trying to find the beautiful girl that has like great qualities.
• 30:46
  Right. I think a lot of I think a lot of people like when they're really young and they like
• 30:52
  want to marry knowing that. Oh, my father in law could connect me with all the right people and
• 30:58
  like I'll be like really successful, but they don't realize that there's like a control aspect.
• 31:02
  Yeah, and I'm not going to like try to like play down that. I like like definitely like
• 31:07
  when you marry into a wealthy family that obviously like opens doors for you and like changes your
• 31:10
  life. But it can also backfire if things go dark. Yeah, and I'm very cliche way. It's like not
• 31:15
  everything. I mean, I don't know. Also, I like to happen to not have the most expensive taste.
• 31:21
  Okay. Like all these things. So you're just like happy, go lucky, like whatever.
• 31:25
  You'd be happy whatever. I would also be a horrible rich person.
• 31:28
  You're not good at money managing. For sure, not good at money managing, but I'm not good at
• 31:32
  spending money. Oh, like I would have like I think I would wear the exact same clothes and eat
• 31:36
  the exact same food and it's a very good mentality to have. No, it's not even like it's not a good
• 31:41
  mentality. It's in like a bad like I just don't know. I don't have good taste and like that sense.
• 31:45
  Like I was like for the first time in my life, I was taking the Amtrak back from Baltimore and
• 31:50
  this is the first time I ever upgraded. Like I bought like a business class on the Amtrak. I felt
• 31:54
  like so cool for like $20 and I got to my seat. I'm like, I was like, the seat's amazing. Like I'm
• 32:00
  sitting first class. Like, oh, it's really all it's cracked up to me. The person literally walked
• 32:03
  up to me, scanned my ticket and it's like you're you're in coach still and you have a business class
• 32:08
  ticket. I was like, oh, I knew that. I just like don't like I definitely like dream about having a
• 32:15
  lot of money, but it's more about like having like the non anxiety of not having money. Right.
• 32:20
  More than like specific. Like I don't have to use a tool. All it is a tool to make your life easier.
• 32:25
  Right, but I don't have things in mind that I would buy if I had my money. Right, but like you just know
• 32:28
  like like could be much easier. Just know I can just pay someone to do this like a pay to be more
• 32:33
  comfortable here. Like it it's a tool. That's all it is. Right, but I don't think I would like
• 32:37
  have nice vacations. Not because like I don't want to I just like have no taste for it. Okay, white
• 32:42
  shirt or blue shirt on Chavis. I mean like what shirts always look better. They do. They do. They do.
• 32:47
  They just make people look more expensive. I don't know what it is. It's annoying that the like
• 32:51
  you she was worth co-opted them and like it puts you in a box already. Right. So now like you have
• 32:56
  to sign up for like a certain like way of being perceived to anywhere one, but I don't definitely
• 33:02
  not blue shirts. I think like a blue, but I'm not sure. It's like either you know what I'd rather
• 33:06
  just walk a dick. It's very light. It's like if I'm not wearing a white shirt on Chavis,
• 33:10
  I'm just like wearing t-shirt. You're wearing polo shirt, right? Exactly.
• 33:14
  What a white polo. Chavis play play polo. Especially when you're in Florida on Chavis. Where
• 33:17
  white polo? Here no one wears any Chavis clothes. I haven't seen a suit here on Chavis. Really? Yeah.
• 33:22
  I don't know. There are a few people who come to my show who like wear a suit. Like a suit and tie
• 33:26
  for us. And they want to look dapper. That's like that's the vibe. It's like the dapper. I like like
• 33:33
  nice. Like I like like a nice style. That's what it is. They just have style. Right.
• 33:38
  Okay. Paisach program or renting a house in Orlando. Oh, renting a house. Queer dick. Yeah.
• 33:43
  Yeah. For sure. Everyone on a Paisach program is in a bad mood. Because you're always
• 33:49
  clinging. Nothing's ever going on. I went on three Paisach programs this year. Everyone who is
• 33:53
  like from the moment I got all. Wait, you had a Paisach program? I was on three programs. Oh,
• 33:57
  wow. Okay. And a house in Orlando. Right. Everyone on programs is just like, what the hell am I doing with
• 34:03
  my kids? Like it's just a marathon. It's the same marathon. Right. From 6 a.m. until bedtime. Like,
• 34:08
  what do I do with my kids? Always at the front desk. No, not the camps. No, and they're at the pool.
• 34:13
  I don't know. Somehow everyone was always clinging. That was the absolute dead last year. I would
• 34:17
  rather be a janitor on the on the New York City subway system than run a Paisach program. I
• 34:22
  really would. It must be very difficult. And then and then once out, everyone leaves. I don't
• 34:27
  even want to know the condition of the hotels are in once they leave. Like, smushed, mushy
• 34:32
  matzah, like on the walls. The people in like private houses, like, look down on the Paisach program
• 34:37
  people. Oh, is it like more schpitzi to like send that out? It's like, that's for like, you like
• 34:41
  medium-rich people. It's like, whatever. Like, we do our own thing. Right. Like, it's
• 34:45
  so interesting because when I was growing up, like, Paisach programs were like the thing to do.
• 34:48
  I guess because there was no Airbnb. So like, you didn't have like the option to just like
• 34:52
  rent houses and do your own thing. It wasn't as popular. Right. It was also like the, it was like
• 34:57
  the, who's who, like, you went there for the hawk. Right. Now everyone. You go there for a sit-off.
• 35:01
  Right. What's up? Like, you're literally on display. Yeah. Okay. So Lakewood or Muncie?
• 35:08
  Now Lakewood. Lakewood is like five. Lakewood is like the hub of like everything right now.
• 35:14
  So sticky. Especially if you include like Jackson and Tom's River. Right. Well, Tom's River is like a whole
• 35:19
  like. It's so funny to me that like people like in the modern world still think Lakewood is like.
• 35:23
  I mean, I still think Lakewood is Lakewood because I've been there one time. But like, if you talk
• 35:27
  to like a real modern orthodox person and like you say like, oh, I have a business meeting in
• 35:31
  Lakewood. What do you mean? Like people like, they have jobs like they work. Right. Like everyone in
• 35:36
  Lakewood like me is way more money than you. No, but I think everyone was kind of forced to work.
• 35:41
  However, it happened. It's like the hub of business. Thanks God. I believe people should be
• 35:44
  working. That's my. I've got a job people. What's up status or Instagram stories? For who?
• 35:52
  For yourself. I'm way more on Instagram. But what's up is like, definitely like. I feel like
• 35:57
  let's say you see this to have like what's up stories. Yeah. It's so funny. Like we always invent
• 36:02
  these like things in our head that are like something is like less from. And then we just create
• 36:07
  the exact same thing under a different name. Right. Like social media is trade because like there's
• 36:12
  girls on it and all these things. And then we just the newspaper used to be trade two by the way
• 36:16
  back in the day. And then like we just have like the same thing on our WhatsApp status. Right.
• 36:21
  But I think on on Instagram, you never know what you're going to come across. Like you never know
• 36:28
  what you'll see when you're just mindlessly scrolling on reals and. Right. I guess so. I mean
• 36:34
  the algorithm's pretty good. Yeah. Kiddish Club or Dovonink. Kiddish Club. Who would you
• 36:38
  sound like? Sometimes I'm like, you know what? I'm going to go say hi to him. Hi to who?
• 36:44
  Gosh. Yeah. Oh, but that's not like you don't mean like in a shoe like. No. Like when you go to
• 36:49
  a shoe like, are you like going to Dovon or are you like going to go for a Kiddish Club? Like
• 36:53
  are you rolling in like towards the end of like my best prayers have not been in
• 36:58
  sure. Where are your best prayers at? I think I runs best prayers which probably are their
• 37:03
  most like desperate. Right. Like crying in bed. Like God help me. It's been like four in the
• 37:08
  morning and I'll like I've like driven like to the O.L. by myself. And like those are the
• 37:12
  lessons are like or like a ribnets. God. It used to be a big ribnets person. You ever go?
• 37:16
  No. I went to the O.L. one time. I went to the ribnets the night before my LSAT. Just by myself.
• 37:21
  You went to the O.L. one time. Yeah. Okay, but the O.L. I'm not posting about it. If you post it,
• 37:27
  if you post, if you're like one of those girls with the fresh manicures like over the Tahillim
• 37:31
  posting from the Rebby's Cabard, you know, you know, you know the exact picture I'm talking about.
• 37:36
  You know what I'm talking about? Every like the it's model. Like goes to the O.L.
• 37:41
  It's a model or influencer thing. There's like the nearest models now. Oh, okay. And
• 37:47
  they post from the O.L. like like the most O.L. Thursdays trap of all time. You lose all your scar
• 37:53
  and dominating from that trip to the O.L. You're not allowed to post about it. You either get the
• 37:58
  post or you get or you get the prior answer. You don't get both. I went to the O.L. with somebody
• 38:04
  in mind. It wasn't even for myself. And I remember not just that they guess. No. And like I remember
• 38:10
  like this person was just going through a really shitty time. And I felt so like helpless and
• 38:14
  I'm like God, like I have a really interesting relationship with God and like Zoli knows about it.
• 38:19
  Yeah, I don't know if God knows about it. He knows. But I remember like I went and like you know
• 38:25
  how you like write down like the name, but I did it and a couple of weeks later I got really
• 38:31
  good news on that person. And I was just like thank you God. Like that was the only time everyone
• 38:35
  to go. Oh, I hate those stories. Not gonna lie. No, but like God vending machine stories.
• 38:40
  No, but like it was just kind of like like I kind of like just like no certain things. And I
• 38:47
  had like really odd things happen to me, especially since I'm like a kid. Like I remember this is
• 38:52
  like a really dark story. But I remember when I was in elementary school, I must have been like in
• 38:56
  fifth grade. I woke up one morning and the first thought that came to my mind was like I'm going
• 39:02
  to a funeral this morning. Like I know this specific person died. Not someone old. My mother came
• 39:08
  into my room and she's like, you're not you're not going to school today. And I'm like, oh,
• 39:11
  that's weird. And I'm like, oh, this person died. She's like, how did you know? I'm like,
• 39:18
  I just I just I felt it in my bones. Like I was brushing my teeth and I'm like, I'm not going
• 39:21
  to school. Like I'm not putting on my uniform right now. Like I just I know.
• 39:24
  I bet a cold case is about to be opened and you're going to get a knock. It was really weird.
• 39:28
  It was I would and like my like my mother freaked out a little bit. Okay, we're going to
• 39:33
  continue on a lighter note. Okay. Milchigs are flash eggs.
• 39:38
  That was a skip. That one's such a stupid question. That is. Milchigs are like actually
• 39:43
  happen to be a milchig guy. Really? Yeah. I like I love it. Yeah, strike me as a milchig guy.
• 39:49
  I love a penny vodka. Oh my god. Okay. Shateler snooze. Which guy would prick a snooze?
• 39:55
  I don't know. Some people like weird. I mean, I don't like either of them that much. I'm not
• 39:58
  a tarot covering. Okay, this is our last. This or that. Lave to horror or the hubra?
• 40:07
  Ding-yum. Oh, I actually just spent some time with a guy from Lave to horror.
• 40:13
  Who? I don't know if he'd want to be shouted out on this podcast, but he could shout it out.
• 40:16
  God he fukes. Okay. He had me for Tom L. Great guy. I just think that like you take the winner
• 40:23
  from each one and whoever has the best winner, like you go with him. It's all or nothing.
• 40:28
  Each one. No, that's not saying I'm going to Lave to horror because I've definitely
• 40:30
  been in the studio. 100% Lave to horror all the way. I agree. I agree. I agree. So we all
• 40:36
  saw you on the famous Miss Label's podcast, which I'm actually a really big fan of.
• 40:41
  Actually? I actually am. I do love Lave. What was your favorite episode? What was my favorite
• 40:46
  episode? Mine was the girls episode. I'll be honest. That are the most zingers and the most
• 40:51
  like it was the most fun by far. I watched a bunch and I usually listen to it when I'm playing
• 40:58
  like one of these like stupid Tetris games on my phone and I can't fall asleep. But then like I can
• 41:02
  fall asleep because I'm like listening to the whole thing and it's like really long. Anyone that
• 41:06
  listens to me to fall asleep? It was like some girl who like is in like politics and I'm like
• 41:11
  blanking on her name. She like Lebanese. Oh, something like that. Yeah. I almost never listened
• 41:18
  to a podcast. I'm not on. No, maybe she was from like I ran. I don't remember where she was from.
• 41:23
  But like that like I love that one and like that one like I mean that was like a year after I was
• 41:28
  on it. Right. So what happened? What happened? I feel like it's all out there. I mean we were
• 41:36
  putting out some amazing content and Lave was like a masterful producer and CEO and like obviously
• 41:43
  built something amazing. I think we just like it's just like it wasn't a good shitech. I wasn't ready
• 41:48
  to be as edgy back then as I am now. Okay. We had argued over a bunch of things on the way. Okay.
• 41:55
  And I definitely made a lot of mistakes and there are things that I probably cared about then.
• 41:59
  I don't care about now. But it was ultimately like that one live where like that that girl came on
• 42:04
  and like I just like was so cringed out by how we treated her. Then I was like this wasn't really
• 42:09
  like a brand like wasn't the brand that was trying to build. Right. You're trying to like build
• 42:13
  your comedy empire. You don't want to like fight with people on like things that you just
• 42:18
  disagree on. Yeah. I don't want to be like in the middle of like controversy all the time.
• 42:22
  So much. I mean I like controversy because it's good for clicks and algorithm and stuff like that.
• 42:26
  But not like. But like their levels to it. Right. It's just like it gets to a point where that's
• 42:31
  not who you are as a person. And being accused of that because someone has an opinion is just like
• 42:36
  whatever man like. Yeah. This one's like this is a hard one for me because like yeah. I'm so
• 42:41
  opinionated about it. I know like the more involved you get with it just the more people on the
• 42:44
  internet that you. Right. What's a common assumption about you that's totally false.
• 42:50
  I think it was just one I was talking about with someone. I think I'm like one of the most gentle
• 42:57
  sweetest people like in like familial interactions. Like I think of someone like see me with like
• 43:04
  my nieces and nephews like my like immediate family or someone I'm in a relationship with.
• 43:08
  They would like not recognize me. I don't and it's not like something I like I could be sometimes
• 43:13
  I think I have this like persona of like I don't care about anything. And I'm like I think like
• 43:18
  deeply emotional. And I just like don't think it's for the whole world and I don't think it's
• 43:23
  for social media. I think it's good for you to just keep to yourself. And like whoever
• 43:27
  your future partner will be like. It's so weird. That's going to be a weird cut when you're like
• 43:32
  what's something people don't know about you. And I'm just like I'm the sweetest person ever. But like
• 43:35
  you know. Oh, but like that's fine. I'm like a very like gentle like almost annoyingly
• 43:40
  lovey person. That's definitely a side we have never seen. I don't want people to see it.
• 43:45
  I want the people that I met. But like this is this is kind of the whole point of this podcast is
• 43:49
  like I want people like you who we just know you as a personality on social media. But we know you
• 43:56
  like well, I don't know if I want people to know. But I think but I think people should know that like
• 44:01
  even if you make funny jokes and someone might be slightly offended by a joke like there is
• 44:05
  like a softer side to you. Oh for sure. Okay. I didn't know that about you. There are things I
• 44:10
  haven't posted that are like would have gone viral. Are there things that I should reconsider
• 44:14
  posting them? There are things that I've posted that I've taken down. Okay. If you got arrested,
• 44:18
  who's the first person you're going to call? My dad. Why? Just like easy. You're very close to
• 44:28
  him. Extremely close to him. Why is this person? I know most well connected and like
• 44:35
  the perfect balance of like absolutely like loves you unconditionally. But like wouldn't be like so
• 44:40
  like my mom loves me just as much right now. But like she I think she would be so rattled
• 44:44
  that she wouldn't be like. She wouldn't know she just like wouldn't be I have like the functionality
• 44:48
  like at that moment because of how much she loves me and my dad was like be like all right we got
• 44:53
  to deal with it. Also what did I do to get arrested? What do you think I did? What would I think
• 44:58
  you did? Have you just heard like do we get arrested? What do you think you did? Probably just like
• 45:03
  wandering the city like super intoxicated. I don't know. Like doesn't that make sense?
• 45:10
  No. I feel like it would be something like super. Like a Friday night had too much to drink.
• 45:14
  No. If I got arrested probably be like I was driving without a license because I forgot it and
• 45:19
  like I had unpaid like traffic tickets. Yeah. Okay. Because I'm just like very
• 45:26
  okay. So this is going to be the last question. Is stand-up comedy your end game or just your
• 45:33
  best excuse for never becoming a lawyer? End game is hard to say. It's my passion. It's like my
• 45:40
  love and it's like what I want to build a career around. Okay. My end game as I've said is just to get
• 45:48
  as much attention and be able to like talk and spew as much as I want with as many people as possible
• 45:55
  to pay attention to me and let's do it and to monetize. Are you trying to get out into like the
• 46:01
  secular world? Yeah. Eventually. I want to be like I can see you having an Netflix special. Oh thank
• 46:06
  you so much. You should tell Netflix. Every time someone sees my show they're like but like what
• 46:10
  are you going to do your stuff is just for the Jewish world? I feel like you could be the Jewish
• 46:14
  Matt Rive. I really think you could. I don't know how to respond to such a thing. Do you like
• 46:19
  Matt Rive? Do I like him? Yeah. Do I like like I love Matt Rive. I love Matt Rive. I mean we have
• 46:28
  he's so funny but also like so on his and so offensive that I love him. I like I don't
• 46:34
  he's a material. You did crowd work. You did crowd work on me and Zoli. Remember we were sitting
• 46:38
  there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like I think his like crowd work is like unbeatable but his material is
• 46:44
  like not necessarily my style. I don't like his material that he didn't like his first Netflix
• 46:48
  special because it wasn't crowd work and it wasn't strong but when he does crowd work it is
• 46:54
  chef's kiss. It is amazing. But I can see you doing a Netflix. I would love to be the who would
• 46:59
  want to do Netflix. We're going to talk. I just find that like you you definitely have a quality
• 47:07
  that a lot of people in the comedy space lack which is having not only a niche market but you're
• 47:13
  like able to like get outside that box and like I want to explain that niche market to a broader audience
• 47:20
  right because I think that niche market is so fun. Like you could be like when I talk about
• 47:24
  from it would you be next sign felt probably not but like you could go somewhere along like those
• 47:28
  lines. It's a funny thing to say to say like would you be the next would you be the next most
• 47:32
  successful thing that what you're doing. Probably not but I think when I do like Jewish material in
• 47:38
  non-Jewish spaces in like comedy clubs. They eat that up because they don't even need a joke.
• 47:44
  They're like this is so fast. Like matze balls. Not even massive balls. They just like if you talk
• 47:49
  about like Shaduchim or just like being Jewish or like anything like Tashler and explain Tashler
• 47:56
  is there as fast as it is laughing. Yeah. Okay. My best shows have been to totally sacred audiences.
• 48:01
  Really? They've been like eight minute sets at like no name comedy clubs. Wow. Okay.
• 48:06
  By far the best. Okay. Well I can't wait to see your Netflix special.
• 48:10
  God willing for me. Are you going to get a little help to Dom for it? Next time I go to the
• 48:15
  oh hell. I'm going to need your name. So I could like write it on the people. Don't post that
• 48:19
  you answer the one. I never I don't post most of my life but I'm going to I'm going to have
• 48:24
  your mind the next time I go. You know what? Go to the and if I go to the the co-towel I'll put
• 48:28
  your name also in there. I think that's made up. Is that made up? They do clean it out. Yeah. I don't
• 48:33
  know if you're supposed to put notes in the wall. Like someone's Bubby was in the wall and they just
• 48:37
  took that paper and they're just like we got to clean up next shift. It's just like the guy cleaning
• 48:43
  up. Like sorry. I hope she got her kidney. What is what is something you think that would solve
• 48:51
  the shit of crisis? Okay so first of all I mean I'm not like I haven't seen the numbers on it.
• 48:56
  I believe there's a crisis. Okay. But first of all one thing is to recognize that like the crisis
• 49:01
  is generally framed as girls not getting married and that's not really true. There's a ton of
• 49:04
  guys that don't get married and if you want to call it a crisis you should be like equally
• 49:08
  as sensitive to them. But if it's like a pure numbers thing that like guys just get married
• 49:14
  like wait to date. So then like with population increase. Right. So like the only solution to a
• 49:20
  mathematical problem is a mathematical solution. Right. Like you can talk about how guys should be
• 49:24
  less picky and you should talk about how people should meet at dating events and this and that
• 49:29
  like ultimately if you're talking about a numbers thing. And we're not getting multiple lives
• 49:34
  for guys then you're going to have to you're going to need a mathematical solution. So like
• 49:38
  things they talk about as guys dating younger girls dating older like I don't think girls are
• 49:42
  going to wait like no one no girl that's ready to date is going to be like well like for the Jewish
• 49:46
  people I have to wait another two years to like that's not going to happen. So the only solution
• 49:51
  is good for guys really to date younger which is like not great. I'm sure you could attest to
• 49:55
  for people like married young when they're not fully developed. So I don't know if there is a
• 49:59
  great solution. But this is not a solution to the crisis. But I do think that we should be
• 50:04
  instituting meal trains for breakups. I think that's very smart because meal trains right now.
• 50:08
  You know how fat girls would get if they had a meal train for breakups. Yeah. Oh just for guys.
• 50:13
  Or like very healthy meal trains for girls like salads only. And and for the
• 50:18
  elite. No cars. But I think that like we do meal trains now for people that have babies when
• 50:24
  right there are maternity leave their husbands on paternity leave and they have their mother-in-law
• 50:28
  and a baby nurse there they have the most time in their life. People dropping off the meal trains
• 50:33
  are like running like picking up four different carpools have a job like half the cook dinner for
• 50:38
  their husband. And then they're like dropping off meal trains at some ladies house who's like
• 50:42
  literally getting a manicure because her mother-in-law and baby nurse that are as well. She just pushed a
• 50:45
  whole human out of her cell. Okay. Let's relax a little bit. That was like a week ago.
• 50:51
  Now she's at the mall getting a facial and some lady with a full schedule is dropping off like
• 50:59
  a penny bad guy with like. Yeah, but they're not making the meal just for them. They just make extra.
• 51:03
  So like they're making dinner anyway. No, no, no. You should see my real honey. That's not true. Oh
• 51:06
  really? Yeah, you've never seen. I did a meal train before but I just mean more than what I was
• 51:09
  making for dinner. Anybody who's ever growing up in a house that's mom did meal trains. Anytime
• 51:14
  you got home and saw an amazing dinner you'd be like oh amazing. It's not for you. It's for the
• 51:19
  Shiva house. It's true. So they're not just making extra. The meal train I guys said in the real
• 51:24
  the meals they make for the meal train they would never give their own kids. Right. Have you ever
• 51:28
  gotten compliments on your hair? Never. What? No really. You've gotten compliments on a day like
• 51:35
  wow, you're like the best hair. The best. I don't think I know. Okay. I think you have really
• 51:39
  good hair. Yeah. And I want to make sure when you go home. Are they are they paying for this
• 51:45
  episode? Whatever you're about to give me? No. Okay. So we're not showing. We're not showing the names.
• 51:50
  But I originally wanted to get you like a personalized brush but I didn't have enough time. Is this
• 51:56
  for me? Is this for you? Wait, let me open it. This is a brush set. So you have one for travel. You
• 52:01
  have a comb. You have a bigger paddle one. So you have all these little brushes. These are great.
• 52:05
  The wooden ones. Yeah. So you should know something about I forgot which way I brush. I go this way.
• 52:12
  Yeah. Yeah. You do like this. Yeah. Right. I feel like it should be like doing a panting commercial.
• 52:17
  So totally. Oh my god. Wooden brushes. Yeah. So they don't rip hair out. Which is great for
• 52:23
  guys because guys are always like nervous that losing hair. But also they massage the scalp. Oh.
• 52:28
  And that opens up the pores. It opens up your brain. No. It opens up the more hair you have
• 52:34
  usually the worse your brain works. Oh. Okay. Now I must be really freaking stupid.
• 52:38
  The it opens up the pores. Okay. And allows the hair to come out. They actually make like massage
• 52:45
  scalpers to stimulate the hair growth. Oh yeah. That's right. Okay. So it comes up like a little
• 52:49
  travel one. Okay. There's a note too. One second. Let me read this. Oh. Hi dear. Oh thanks.
• 52:55
  Thank you for ordering our company. Focus on customer experience. Confident. And this was written
• 53:00
  by someone that does not speak English. Okay. Any problem. Please contact us directly. We offer
• 53:08
  a replacement or refund service, warmly regard. Okay. Well, I hope you enjoy five-hour business cards.
• 53:14
  Well, I hope you enjoy. I just there's like a thing in my brain where I'm like, I want to get
• 53:18
  every guest like a cute little gift. Really? What would have been the if you couldn't get a hair
• 53:24
  rush? What would have been say something appropriate, please? What would be the next thing you think I need?
• 53:28
  I don't know. Honestly, like you went to somebody and they meet you like those cookies with your hair
• 53:34
  that looks all fluffy. So I'm like, oh, like so everyone likes his hair. So I'm like, I guess I'll do
• 53:39
  something with the hair. Thanks. You don't put anything in my hair. What? I don't put anything in my hair.
• 53:44
  You don't put any products in your hair. That I think is one thing people think about me. That's not true.
• 53:48
  No products. Literally whatever like whatever shampoo is there. Oh. Not even shampoo all the time.
• 53:54
  Just like whatever soap. No, I didn't put soap in my hair, but like sometimes just like water.
• 53:59
  I've never like put gel in it in my life. I hate the way it feels. Do you like love long hair?
• 54:04
  Like the longer hair? I do, but it doesn't look as good as I think it does. I know that like when I get
• 54:09
  haircuts, I get that like more people are like you actually look much better. You should try a
• 54:12
  butt cut just for like fun. No. No. Okay. I have actually have bad dreams about someone shaving my
• 54:18
  head in the middle of that all the time. Like a nightmare. And I wake up and I'm like still there.
• 54:23
  Still there. Yeah. You ever make like a cuckoo? Like a little. Yeah, for sure. Like you have a ponytail holder.
• 54:28
  Oh, that would be the next thing. I would have thought. Do you have a ponytail holder?
• 54:33
  Can we make a cuckoo? Where's the video?
• 54:36
  You know what? You know what I would have gotten you the which I would ask my sister suggested?
• 54:44
  No, you know, those like makeup headbands that are like bubbly. Oh, I want those because I want
• 54:48
  to start doing get ready with me. Oh my god. So I was thinking of getting one and like pink.
• 54:52
  It would have been so cute. But like you have to get like a nice one. Like not like from Target.
• 54:55
  Oh, that's a little cool. It's so. Yeah. Now you look like a grown-ass baby.
• 55:01
  Then just put your own on top. No, I'm sorry. No, you look sorry. Yeah.
• 55:06
  Okay. Well, at least the brushes are going to help you, you know, with your travels and just me.
• 55:11
  I'm going to use these tonight. You're quite. Thank you. I will probably not lose these for at least two weeks.
• 55:16
  Okay, that's good. Okay. Well, Dobie, it's been a pleasure having you.
• 55:22
  Thank you so much. I really hope we can do this again when I'm more famous.
• 55:27
  Whatever, more or less, whatever. It all works. It all works. But yeah.
• 55:33
  Thank you so much for having me. Follow me. I'll see you over here.