Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 5 Ways that a narcissist gets you HOOKED
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on beautiful folks?
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about 5 things that narcissistic
- 0:06people do to get you hooked to them extremely fast, getting you
- 0:11to love them extremely fast and immersed in their life extremely
- 0:15quick. If you're new here, my name is
- 0:16Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
- 0:19welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Co.
- 0:40Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back, welcome
- 0:42back. Yes, yes, yes, folks.
- 0:44How the hell did these narcissistic people get you
- 0:47hooked so fast? Yeah, but before we hop into
- 0:51today's episode, y'all, you know, if you do not know, I do
- 0:54have a support group called the Mental Healers and I do coaching
- 0:57online. You can find
- 0:58everything@mentalillness.net. It's on the bottom of the screen
- 1:03right now, everything, how to find me, where to find me, all
- 1:06of that good stuff is at the bottom of the screen.
- 1:09But yeah, yeah. Today we're going to do 5 things
- 1:12that narcissistic people do to get you hooked to them extremely
- 1:15fast during the, it could be during the love bombing phase,
- 1:18right? It could be during the love
- 1:19bombing phase. And these are not going to be
- 1:23any, in any particular order, right?
- 1:28No, no particular order, no particular level of importance
- 1:31or anything like that. Just how they get you hooked
- 1:34really fast. Because, you know, narcissists
- 1:37get you hooked really fast because they don't want you to
- 1:39see who they really are. The faster we get you hooked,
- 1:42the faster we can get. Like the, the faster we can kind
- 1:45of take the mask off and relax, right?
- 1:48The faster we can do this type of stuff, the faster the, the
- 1:51way life goes and whatnot. You know what I mean?
- 1:53This is the type of stuff that ends up happening.
- 1:56So then one thing I have on my list on my remarkable tablet, I
- 2:00do have a remarkable. You need to check these out.
- 2:02Y'all. I love these remarkable tablets.
- 2:04I might link it. Then you can link stuff on
- 2:06YouTube. I might link this.
- 2:09This is the remarkable too. I don't know the other ones, but
- 2:12yes. The first thing is I love you
- 2:14love bombing love bombing. They love bomb you fast.
- 2:18They love they love bomb you extremely quickly, give you
- 2:23everything that you ever wanted, right becoming the person that
- 2:28you been dreaming of. You couldn't have like y'all,
- 2:31you couldn't have dreamt up a better person, a better fit for
- 2:34you then this person has presented themselves as now you
- 2:38couldn't you can't make this up. They're that good to you cannot
- 2:42make this up. They are just fantastic for you.
- 2:46Fantastic. They do all this stuff for you.
- 2:49They're the love, most loving, caring person you've ever met.
- 2:51They listen to you. They give you a, a kind ear to
- 2:54listen to, a kind heart, things like that.
- 2:57They, they love bomb the steam off of you.
- 2:59Not every narcissist love bomb. Like I said, not every
- 3:01narcissist going to do all five of these things and not
- 3:03everybody gets love bombed, but the love bombers are going to
- 3:06love bomb the hell out of you. Let's be realistic, take you on
- 3:09trips, do all this kind of stuff.
- 3:11They I love you really fast. They do this kind of stuff to
- 3:14get you hooked to them really quickly right, and I said the
- 3:18love mommy work yes, it works because you feel like you
- 3:21deserve it right? You've been waiting, especially
- 3:23if you you've been waiting on this person or you just got out
- 3:26of a toxic relationship man. If you just got out of a toxic
- 3:29relationship and you got somebody come into your life
- 3:31right now that's treating you well, listening to you clapping
- 3:33the cheek like that, y'all doing everything well, Yeah, you going
- 3:36to fall. A lot of people going to fall
- 3:37for it. You might be in a vulnerable
- 3:39state. They love bombing.
- 3:40They give you like I said, this might be your friend that you've
- 3:42been talking to for a very, very long time.
- 3:44So be very weary of love bombing.
- 3:47Just take, just take things slow, y'all.
- 3:48This is this whole video is dedicated to people.
- 3:50This whole video is brought to you by Taking Things Slow by Lee
- 3:54Hammock. You know seriously, take it
- 3:58slow. Love bombing happens, right?
- 4:01So just be very wary of this type of stuff happening.
- 4:04The second thing I have on my list is meeting the parents and
- 4:09kids very fast. It can go both ways.
- 4:13They can want to meet your parents and kids very fast or
- 4:18your parents kids or friends groups very fast.
- 4:21I'll add friends as well. They try to get immersed in your
- 4:24family dynamic or try to get you immersed in their family
- 4:26dynamic. They'll let you meet the kids
- 4:28really quickly. Like we've been, we've only been
- 4:30dating for for 72 hours and you already already want me to meet
- 4:34your kids. You want to meet my mom.
- 4:35You want me to meet your mom, your dad, whoever it is, your
- 4:37grandma, whoever raised you, you want to meet, you want to meet
- 4:40your dog. You know what I'm saying?
- 4:42It could be the dog, it could be the cat.
- 4:44It could be like, if you love dogs, you going to meet that?
- 4:45Damn, If you love dog, you going to meet?
- 4:48You going to meet Fido If you love cats, you going to meet old
- 4:51cat cat Patui. You see what I'm saying?
- 4:53Catatui, You going to meet them very fast.
- 4:56This is the type of stuff that happens, y'all?
- 4:58It really does happen. So you have to be very, it's
- 5:00going to be happening very quickly.
- 5:02They want to get you immersed in their life very, very quickly
- 5:05because they get you attached to it.
- 5:06And then like I said, this is the fear that a lot of the
- 5:10narcissists have. They have a fear that you're
- 5:12going to see them for who they really are.
- 5:14Are you going to see us for who we really are?
- 5:16Because I fall into this category and you're not going to
- 5:19like us, you're not going to care about us, you're not going
- 5:22to be there for us. You're not going to give a damn
- 5:24and you're not going to want to make things happen.
- 5:26Like you're going to not care, not do it.
- 5:29Like it's going to be a troubling dynamic, right?
- 5:32This type of stuff does consistently happen to so many
- 5:35different people. So you have to be very weary of
- 5:38this. You have to be very, you just
- 5:40have to use your mind about this type of stuff.
- 5:42So if they're trying to meet your kids very fast, you trying
- 5:44to meet their they have and you meet their kids or bringing
- 5:46their mom or dad on the second date or if you FaceTime their
- 5:49mom and dad, y'all just slow it down.
- 5:51That's fast. That's super fast.
- 5:53I I feel like I have a red flag somewhere.
- 5:55I saw yeah, I saw my red flag on the corner of my eye super fast.
- 5:59We put we, we whipping it out my show waving the red flag show is
- 6:03coming back soon because I got my Facebook back now.
- 6:06So about to bring that show back, but I got the big red flag
- 6:09out for you right now. That's too quick, too fast.
- 6:12You know, you shouldn't be meeting kids on a second date.
- 6:15You see what I'm saying? Or the parents or the friends.
- 6:18Maybe the friends. I don't know.
- 6:19Friends. Friends are different.
- 6:20But the pets either. That's the the second one on the
- 6:25list. The number third.
- 6:26Third thing on the list to get you attached really fast is baby
- 6:28talk. Future faking.
- 6:30Future faking the hell out of you.
- 6:33Baby talks. Promises of the future selling
- 6:35you a dream. They sell.
- 6:37Yeah, narcissistic people tend to be dream sellers.
- 6:39They sell your dream, you know I'm going to get you pregnant
- 6:42really fast girl, I'm going to put a baby in them buns or they
- 6:46just like I want your baby put a baby in me like y'all toxic
- 6:48narcissist is not all of them going to be the same because
- 6:50older people can be narcissist. Younger people can be
- 6:52narcissist, but they want sometimes they will try to
- 6:55future fake you or and but sometimes the future they don't
- 6:58try to even use the future to fake you.
- 6:59They wouldn't. They really will try to get you
- 7:01pregnant really quickly. They'll try to put a baby in you
- 7:04very quickly. They'll do this type of stuff
- 7:05very quickly to you to try to try to ruin your life and they
- 7:08have to try to keep you there, keep you set up.
- 7:10This is the mindset, This is the mentality that narcissistic
- 7:13abusive people do. This is the mentality that they
- 7:16perpetuate. You have to be very weary.
- 7:19You have to be very careful. This is the space that so many
- 7:23people fall into. So you have to be watch out for
- 7:25this type of stuff. Don't have babies with people
- 7:27you don't know. I know accidents happen, but if
- 7:29you don't know this person, just, yeah, especially if it's
- 7:32very fast into the relationship, slow it down.
- 7:34Just just just tap the brakes a little bit.
- 7:37Just tap the brakes a little bit like somebody.
- 7:39Look, it's, it's kind of like being in the car with somebody
- 7:42and there's somebody tailgating you right behind, right on your
- 7:45ass. Tap the brakes a little bit.
- 7:47Get them all for you a little bit.
- 7:47Just tap the brakes just a little bit.
- 7:49Because you tap the brakes, typically they back up and they
- 7:51slow down and they reveal themselves.
- 7:53Give you give them time to reveal themselves.
- 7:56There's so many people are so y'all people won't love, I get
- 7:59it. But give the person time to
- 8:00reveal who their their contents of their true character before
- 8:03you can have a baby talking, buying a house and buying a car
- 8:06and stuff like that, because that type of stuff can get you
- 8:07attached very, very quickly as well.
- 8:10The next thing I do have is moving in very fast.
- 8:14Y'all, this is how they get you attached very quickly moving in,
- 8:18Y'all already living together. The first date we went home and
- 8:21we slept together and they just never kind of left.
- 8:23They never really left. I yeah, Y'all do not understand
- 8:26how many times I've heard that story.
- 8:28They, the first night we would just, we slept together.
- 8:31They spent the night and they never really left.
- 8:33They left the house to go get a bag and they came back and they
- 8:35really never left. And we, we've been, I've been
- 8:37wanting them out. I haven't had any time to myself
- 8:39since that happened. Like y'all, they will try to
- 8:42invade your space. They try to move in with you
- 8:44really quickly or sometimes try to get you to move in with them
- 8:47very quickly. A lot of times they try to get
- 8:49you to move in with them because it's they have more control
- 8:52because like you might give up your apartment, you might sell
- 8:55your house or something like that or sublease your house or
- 8:57sublet your apartment and you can't leave them.
- 9:00You have nowhere else to go. So they do this type of stuff
- 9:03right here. They'll try to get you to move
- 9:04in with them so they feel like you have you, they have you
- 9:06trapped. This happens all the time.
- 9:10Slow it down, y'all. I know.
- 9:12Look, I know y'all want to be loved.
- 9:15I know, I get it. I fully understand it, but you
- 9:18got to slow your asses down or you going to be end up in more
- 9:21toxicity. Just that's the way it goes.
- 9:24It really is. That's part of this space.
- 9:26That's part of this, this ever changing dynamic.
- 9:29There's so many people get lost in the sauce and don't know who
- 9:33the hell they are anymore. Because you get because you're
- 9:36moving in with somebody you don't know.
- 9:37And then once you move in, the mask comes off and you see them
- 9:40for who they really are. But you didn't give up your
- 9:42apartment, your, your mom or dad is not around anymore.
- 9:45You're like you. There's so many different things
- 9:47that could happen in these situations when you move in
- 9:49together very fast, that can just lead to your lead to your,
- 9:52the destruction of your life. So be very careful in those
- 9:56situations. You have to, if you don't, I'm
- 9:58just telling you, you're going to ruin your life.
- 9:59You can be mad as hell and sad as hell at the same time, mad
- 10:01and sad. And the last thing I do have on
- 10:03my list is they take up your time.
- 10:05They take up a lot of your time. They isolate you from your
- 10:09friends and family very quickly in the beginning.
- 10:13Now we after our first date, we spend every waking hour
- 10:16together. It sounds like a fairy tale.
- 10:18Doesn't, but it's very controlling.
- 10:21Yeah, I've heard these stories about people Facetiming all day
- 10:24or having a Bluetooth or something on their ear all day
- 10:28to be able to talk to their toxic partner all day, not
- 10:30realizing this toxic thing is sweet.
- 10:32Oh, we were on the phone for 17 hours today.
- 10:34Even when we fell asleep together on the phone now, it
- 10:37sounds so sweet, but it's so damn controlling.
- 10:41They always in your ear. Who's that you talking to?
- 10:43Who's that guy? Who's that girl?
- 10:44Like they're in your ear to be controlling.
- 10:47They're not in your ear to be sweet.
- 10:49They're in your ear to be controlling, to violate you, to
- 10:52isolate you, to get you away from everybody.
- 10:54They do this type of stuff to engulf your life.
- 10:56It happens to so many people. I promise you it does.
- 11:00You know, it's one of those things that continuously
- 11:02happens. There's so many people out here
- 11:04in this space in it's hot relationship realm and whatnot.
- 11:07So you have to be very, very careful of getting allowing
- 11:10people to be immersed in your life very quickly because that's
- 11:13the, like I said this before, but speed is the weapon of a
- 11:16narcissist. The faster you move, the more of
- 11:20these you will miss. Like I got like a sewer right
- 11:23now, The more of these you will miss.
- 11:26Y'all gonna make me have to unsheathe my red flag.
- 11:30I don't like unsheathing this thing but I will unsheat it if I
- 11:32need to. Anyways y'all thank you for
- 11:34tuning in to another episode. I really truly appreciate every
- 11:36single one of y'all. Our next in person workshop
- 11:39that's coming up is going to be in Dallas, TX at the end of
- 11:41October or the very beginning of November.
- 11:44Check out my You can join my e-mail list.
- 11:50Check out my website. I have an e-mail list you can
- 11:51join on my website andmentalillness.net to stay up
- 11:54to date with my events and my workshops.
- 11:55Online workshops coming up soon too.
- 11:58I have a support group to John in the beginning.
- 12:00Anyway, John, make sure y'all subscribe to this channel.
- 12:03Mental illness is out. Thank you so much for making it
- 12:05to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
- 12:08Have no idea. If you haven't already, make
- 12:10sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
- 12:11Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
- 12:14another video or to browse to another playlist.
- 12:16There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
- 12:18and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
- 12:21you've been through. Thank you so much again.
- 12:23I will see you in the next video.
- 12:24Peace.