Latest / MyMaine Birth / 96. Overcoming the Unexpected: Leah's Birth Journey at Maine Medical Center in Portland

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96. Overcoming the Unexpected: Leah's Birth Journey at Maine Medical Center in Portland · MyMaine Birth

• 0:01
  Angela: I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth, a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine.
• 0:13
  Angela: From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 0:23
  Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
• 0:31
  Angela: Welcome to episode 96 of the my Main Birth podcast.
• 0:38
  Angela: Today we're going to be hearing from Leah as she shares her powerful story that sheds light on the challenges, the unexpected turns and the emotional aftermath of a birth story that does not go as you imagined it would.
• 0:52
  Angela: I believe it's important to create a safe space for these narratives, to raise awareness and to support those who've gone through difficult birth experiences.
• 1:01
  Angela: To all the pregnant mothers listening, I encourage you to assess your emotional readiness for today's episode.
• 1:07
  Angela: If hearing stories of birth trauma might not be what you need at the moment, please skip this episode.
• 1:13
  Angela: For those of you who've recently experienced birth trauma yourself, I want you to know that you are not alone.
• 1:19
  Angela: I see you, I hear you and I'm here to support you.
• 1:23
  Angela: I offer a virtual service designed specifically for mothers who need to process their birth stories.
• 1:29
  Angela: My birth healing sessions over Zoom provide a safe and confidential space to explore your emotions, find healing and work through any lingering feelings of disappointment, fear or grief.
• 1:42
  Angela: I'm an experienced birth professional and I'm ready to listen, offer guidance and help you navigate the complexities of your birth experience.
• 1:48
  Angela: If you're interested in scheduling a birth healing session, visit my website, mymainbirthcom.
• 1:54
  Angela: Remember, your story matters and I'm here to support you every step of the way.
• 2:00
  Angela: Together, we can heal, grow and find strength in our shared experiences.
• 2:05
  Angela: Thank you for joining me today on my Main Birth, and remember to take care of yourself and each other.
• 2:11
  Angela: And, as always, let's keep the conversation going.
• 2:15
  Angela: You can always message me over on social media.
• 2:17
  Angela: You can find me on Facebook or Instagram at my Main Birth.
• 2:22
  Angela: All right, let's get to it.
• 2:24
  Angela: Hi Leah, welcome to MyMainBirth.
• 2:27
  Angela: Hi, to get started, will you share a little bit about you and your family?
• 2:34
  Leah: Sure, well, it's me, I'm Leah, and my husband is Tim, and he grew up in Maine.
• 2:43
  Leah: I'm originally from Cape Cod but moved here for college and I like it, so I stayed.
• 2:51
  Angela: So now will you share a little bit about when you found out you were pregnant, like how you found out and what your thoughts were in choosing your care.
• 3:01
  Leah: Sure.
• 3:02
  Leah: So it was a pretty big surprise when I found out I was pregnant.
• 3:06
  Leah: I'd been told since I was about 16 that it was going to be super hard for me to get pregnant.
• 3:12
  Leah: I have PCOS and I've always been heavier because of that.
• 3:17
  Leah: And doctors always said like, oh, it's going to be super hard, but I had gastric sleeve in 2022.
• 3:22
  Leah: And they said like, oh, it's going to be super hard, but I had gastric sleeve in 2022.
• 3:25
  Leah: And they said like, oh, get on birth control immediately, because your fertility will be so much higher as you lose weight.
• 3:32
  Leah: And I was like, yeah, okay, whatever Turns out, they were right.
• 3:38
  Leah: So I was hanging out with my friend Aaron and I was like nauseous in the morning, which never happens and I was like, oh, haha, joke, joke, maybe I'm pregnant.
• 3:49
  Leah: I should take a pregnancy test.
• 3:50
  Leah: So I did and it was positive.
• 3:52
  Leah: And I was like, really was like a false positive.
• 3:56
  Leah: And when I went, they said that they would take like the HCG levels and see that way.
• 4:01
  Leah: And they, yep, I was pregnant.
• 4:16
  Leah: And it was super early too.
• 4:17
  Leah: I was only like five weeks pregnant.
• 4:19
  Leah: So I found out really, really early and from there I knew I wanted to go, you know, to a real OB.
• 4:27
  Leah: I didn't want to do Planned Parenthood the whole way I love Planned Parenthood, but I wanted to go somewhere.
• 4:34
  Leah: I was comfortable and I chose Southern Maine Women's Health in Biddeford because I had had my surgery at Southern Maine Health and so I was pretty comfortable with the hospital.
• 4:48
  Angela: Yeah, it's important to go somewhere where you feel comfortable with your care.
• 4:52
  Angela: It's super important.
• 4:53
  Angela: Yeah, yeah, so how was your pregnancy kind of looking?
• 4:58
  Leah: as things progressed.
• 5:00
  Leah: So I was definitely scared when they said I was going to be in the high-risk program and I would have to see the maternal and fetal medicine doctor and then I found out that I had to give birth at Maine Med because I was high-risk and that was hard.
• 5:21
  Leah: I haven't had very good experiences at Maine Med so that was really emotional and they told me that when I was about halfway through, so about 20 weeks.
• 5:30
  Leah: So the pregnancy hormones made me even more emotional and I just didn't have a choice and that was really really hard Because you know I was so happy to be pregnant and that I was getting to experience this and, you know, just had to keep reminding myself that this is what I had always wanted.
• 5:52
  Leah: But it was hard having the choices taken away from me.
• 5:56
  Leah: But it was a very smooth pregnancy Overall.
• 6:01
  Leah: I was told pretty early on I'd be induced around 37 or 38 weeks and that was fine.
• 6:11
  Leah: I was actually pretty happy to have an edge date because I wasn't a super big fan of being pregnant.
• 6:19
  Leah: I was excited to have a baby, I was excited that I was able to be pregnant, but the actually like being pregnant is hard, like it's no joke.
• 6:28
  Angela: Yeah, so you were in the Biddeford practice until about 20 weeks and then you switched to the maternal fetal medicine doctors over at Maine Med, or was it sort of some through the same practice but they just wanted you to deliver at Maine Med.
• 6:43
  Leah: Right.
• 6:43
  Leah: So I did ask about switching over to Maine Med but unfortunately, because I was so far along and because they didn't have a lot of openings, it was like fortunate and unfortunate, like I was happy to stay with Dr McDonough over at Southern Maine Health but I knew she would not be delivering my baby and I would never meet beforehand who would be delivering my baby.
• 7:07
  Leah: So I didn't love that aspect but I did.
• 7:11
  Leah: I was able to stay at Southern Maine Health until my induction date.
• 7:16
  Angela: So how was the rest of your pregnancy?
• 7:19
  Leah: It was pretty uneventful until my induction, like they were monitoring my blood pressure.
• 7:24
  Leah: Uneventful until my induction, like they were monitoring my blood pressure.
• 7:28
  Leah: It was it would be high at the OB.
• 7:28
  Leah: But I have really bad medical anxiety.
• 7:30
  Leah: But because I'm also in the weight and wellness program, they were taking my blood pressure too and my blood pressure was normal at those appointments.
• 7:39
  Leah: So I didn't have preeclampsia, I just had really bad medical anxiety.
• 7:44
  Leah: So luckily I didn't have to get induced earlier for my blood pressure, I just had to.
• 7:52
  Leah: Really I had to monitor at home as well as doing it at Weight and Wellness and at the OB, but pretty, pretty uneventful.
• 8:02
  Angela: Yeah, awesome.
• 8:03
  Angela: So when you're getting those higher blood pressure readings, were they concerned about that, but not as concerned when you would be like, well, wait, it's not this high when I'm like not in this office, you guys like yeah, yeah, they were definitely concerned.
• 8:17
  Leah: But because everything is on my chart, they were able to look and be like oh, last week at you know your dietician, you know you were 120 over 60.
• 8:26
  Leah: So I guess maybe it is just white coat hypertension.
• 8:34
  Angela: Yeah, I think that is a real thing.
• 8:35
  Angela: So then, yeah, how did things progress when you got to, when things were like approaching 37 weeks.
• 8:41
  Angela: Since it was like so kind of plans, you're going to be kind of switching over.
• 8:45
  Angela: What's that looking for you?
• 8:47
  Leah: It was looking good.
• 8:48
  Leah: I mean, I had one final appointment with maternal and fetal medicine.
• 8:53
  Leah: I had the initial like yes, we'll deliver your baby and then come back and see us at 36 weeks and we'll give you a date then.
• 9:02
  Leah: So I had that.
• 9:03
  Leah: I got my date.
• 9:04
  Leah: It was December 20th, so I was excited to have a date.
• 9:08
  Leah: I was able to tell people like, hey, this is when it's happening.
• 9:12
  Leah: And it was great because I'm a teacher and that was the last day before Christmas break.
• 9:17
  Leah: So I was supposed to be induced on the 20th, but I had missed my weekly ultrasound that week and so they told me to go to labor and delivery and get a makeup ultrasound.
• 9:34
  Leah: So I did on Monday, the 18th, and while I was there getting my makeup ultrasound, they said, hey, yeah, baby looks great, looks great.
• 9:43
  Leah: Since you're here, do you want to stay?
• 9:46
  Leah: And at that point I was like you know I do, I do want to stay.
• 9:52
  Leah: So we ended up getting the party started on December 18th oh my gosh.
• 9:58
  Leah: Well, I love that they at least asked you, and we're like yeah yeah, so that was nice, having an option there, like I felt like I was getting a little bit more control back after I felt like it was taken away when they said, like you have to deliver at Maine Med, it was really nice to dare and have them be like you know, if you want, we can start now.
• 10:21
  Leah: So yeah, that was definitely that was nice yeah, so how did that go?
• 10:28
  Angela: did you call your partner and they can.
• 10:30
  Leah: Um just brought your bags, or yeah, yeah so we, we live in casco, so it's about an hour away, and we have a dog and a cat.
• 10:38
  Leah: So tim had to come with me, because we went right after I got out of work and so he was there with me and I said hey, guy, we are starting this.
• 10:50
  Leah: I have my bags packed, because I was really hoping, you know, she would come on her own before I got induced.
• 10:57
  Leah: But no such luck.
• 11:01
  Leah: But so I had the bags packed so he was able to go home, get the bags and get the dog and bring the dog to his parents.
• 11:06
  Angela: so so how are things unfolding at the hospital?
• 11:12
  Angela: Then?
• 11:12
  Leah: for you, as things were just getting started, yeah, uh, it was slow at first, like they gave me a room, got me in my gown and they asked if I wanted to do the Mesa Pro Sol to get started and if I wanted a Cook's Balloon, which I said yes to both because I didn't know anything about having babies.
• 11:42
  Leah: And you know I don't regret getting the Cook's balloon, but it's so.
• 11:46
  Leah: It's two balloons One puts pressure on your cervix and one just kind of hangs out in the vaginal canal and they're full of saline and that was the most painful part of the entire induction and I went into this thinking like no epidural, not on some moral standpoint, just because I'm scared of IVs, and so I went without an epidural for the cook's balloon and in hindsight I don't know why I did that, but I did and you know it got me pretty well dilated and things were good up to that point.
• 12:27
  Leah: But I didn't get much more dilated after that.
• 12:32
  Leah: For a while I was stuck at six centimeters of all night the 18th, all day the 19th, into the middle of the night when they broke my water because I had gotten to about eight or nine centimeters.
• 12:48
  Leah: So they broke my water and at that point when they came in with the hook to break my water is when I decided, you know what I think I do want an epidural.
• 12:59
  Leah: I've done really well.
• 13:01
  Leah: But they had kind of told me, like you know it's, it's getting hard to keep her on the wireless monitor.
• 13:09
  Leah: We'd like to put you on the wired monitor, which means it's gonna be hard for you to get out of bed.
• 13:14
  Leah: So I figured, if I'm not getting out of the bed anyway, I might as well get the epidural.
• 13:20
  Leah: So I did and that was fine and it definitely helped.
• 13:28
  Leah: But, um, you know what was she doing?
• 13:31
  Angela: during this point.
• 13:32
  Angela: Was her like, was her monitoring, like looking okay, or was any there any concern at this point?
• 13:38
  Leah: at that point her monitoring was fine.
• 13:40
  Leah: After they broke my water, her heart rate, she had some d cells after they broke my water, but up until that point she was looking fine.
• 13:51
  Leah: They were having a hard time keeping track of my contractions so I had a contraction, but you know right.
• 13:57
  Leah: So and that got harder with the epidural because I was like I think this is a contraction, but that's kind of.
• 14:12
  Leah: When things started to look not so good was the 20th in the morning and they were.
• 14:20
  Leah: They weren't looking bad enough that anyone was super concerned, but they were definitely starting to monitor me and monitor her more closely.
• 14:30
  Leah: Hence the not being able to get out of bed anymore because, yeah, she was starting to have some d cells.
• 14:35
  Leah: So they would, you know, adjust the pitocin accordingly.
• 14:40
  Angela: So was they broke your water around then midnight on the 20th or like that, yeah Around midnight 1am yeah.
• 14:48
  Angela: And then they were just starting to monitor more closely.
• 14:52
  Angela: Then after that things started to kind of shift.
• 14:55
  Angela: It was hard for her.
• 14:56
  Leah: Yep.
• 14:57
  Leah: So she was.
• 14:58
  Leah: I mean, she was still looking good enough that we were just continuing on and she finally, kind of like, evened out.
• 15:08
  Leah: So they were able to put the Pitocin back up and my contractions were getting closer and closer and stronger at that point and they finally came in around two o'clock in the afternoon no way before that, just kidding like noon, noon on the 20th and I was 10 centimeters and ready to push.
• 15:32
  Leah: So yeah, that's when I started.
• 15:37
  Leah: Pushing is around noon on the 20th, after, you know, having not slept the night before really, but I was just so excited to meet her and get her out, so when I started, Were you eating and drinking?
• 15:54
  Angela: I was.
• 15:56
  Leah: I was in the beginning, before I got the epidural, but then once I got the epidural it was just clear liquids and, to be honest, I wasn't hungry.
• 16:04
  Leah: Anyway, I was really focused.
• 16:07
  Leah: I wanted her out.
• 16:10
  Angela: Yeah, so how did things go when she started pushing?
• 16:15
  Leah: It was a lot, it was crazy.
• 16:17
  Leah: My husband was pretty sick.
• 16:19
  Leah: Actually he had gotten a stomach bug so he had to tap out for a bit to take a nap and my friend ended up coming to help.
• 16:29
  Leah: So it felt kind of like a whirlwind because there were so many people in and out of the room and you know I felt like we weren't making a whole lot of progress.
• 16:44
  Leah: But you know it was nice having my friend there.
• 16:47
  Leah: He was very supportive and my husband was able to get a nap in because my nurse joked that she didn't want two patients.
• 16:55
  Angela: How long did you?
• 16:56
  Angela: Were you pushing for?
• 16:58
  Leah: I pushed for about four and a half hours and about three hours in they had mentioned that if I was getting tired they could bring in forceps or a vacuum to help assist that point.
• 17:22
  Leah: At about two hours in I was like no, I'm good, I can keep going.
• 17:25
  Leah: But when the four hour mark hit I decided that, yes, I would definitely like some help at this point and they assured me she was already pretty far down and so it would be fine to get the vacuum out.
• 17:40
  Leah: So they did so.
• 17:42
  Leah: My husband describes it as them pulling a fish out of the river Because obviously, like I still had to push with the vacuum and I could definitely feel her getting lower, like I could feel the pressure, and I at one point asked if I could take a break because the pressure was so much.
• 18:07
  Leah: And my nurse had such a good sense of humor and she was just like nope, that's her head.
• 18:13
  Leah: And finally we got her out and you know she did cry right away and things were pretty okay Immediately after she was born.
• 18:30
  Leah: Her APGAR scores weren't the best but they were okay enough that they felt fine after a few hours to send us up to mother baby.
• 18:42
  Angela: So how about the placenta then?
• 18:43
  Angela: Before I get into the next thing, do you remember when the placenta was?
• 18:46
  Angela: Oh yeah, I remember delivering the placenta.
• 18:49
  Angela: Yeah, did they come kind of right after baby.
• 18:54
  Leah: It came pretty close after.
• 18:55
  Leah: Yeah, they had to push on my stomach a little bit to help get it out, but it came out and it looked normal.
• 19:03
  Leah: But they ended up keeping it, which ended up being a good thing.
• 19:08
  Leah: They didn't immediately dispose of it, so ah.
• 19:14
  Angela: So how were things then?
• 19:17
  Angela: Kind of in the postpartum, immediate like postpartum period for you?
• 19:21
  Angela: You had some things come up right.
• 19:23
  Leah: I did, yeah.
• 19:24
  Leah: So when Corey my daughter Cordelia, we call her Corey when she was about six hours old, my nurse came in to help me feed her and we unswaddled her and we both kind of just looked at each other like this isn't normal.
• 19:45
  Leah: She was really pale, her arms were kind of straight up and down and her legs were twitching rhythmically.
• 19:53
  Leah: And you know, I'm a special education teacher, I work in life skills.
• 19:59
  Leah: I've worked with some medically complex children.
• 20:02
  Leah: I've seen a lot of seizures.
• 20:04
  Leah: So that was my biggest fear and it was.
• 20:09
  Leah: You know, my nurse was in agreement.
• 20:11
  Leah: I like, yeah, that that does look like a seizure.
• 20:14
  Leah: So they brought her into the nursery, got her warmed up and noticed that her oxygen was only about 70%.
• 20:23
  Leah: So they immediately brought her down to the NICU, hooked her up to the EEG and, yeah, it was confirmed she was having clinical seizures and this was like Corey was born at 5m.
• 20:37
  Leah: So this was 11 o'clock midnight.
• 20:40
  Leah: So I remember this happening, but kind of being numb to it at the time because it was really scary, but also I'd been awake for three days at that point.
• 20:54
  Angela: That can be really disorienting.
• 20:57
  Leah: Yeah, but my husband went down and spent the night with her and I tried to get some sleep but I couldn't.
• 21:03
  Leah: So they brought me down to the NICU in the middle of the night and I stayed with her for a little bit until I had to have my vitals taken again.
• 21:14
  Leah: So they brought me upstairs for the rest of the night, and that's when our NICU adventure started.
• 21:24
  Angela: Do you want to share about that Sure?
• 21:28
  Leah: Yeah.
• 21:28
  Leah: So Coria was born December 20th and they found the seizures that first night and treated her with phenobarb times two and phosphentin.
• 21:43
  Leah: But it wasn't really controlling the seizures and we had no idea at that point what was causing the seizures.
• 21:51
  Leah: So they decided to sedate her with midazolam versed.
• 21:58
  Leah: So she had a continuous infusion of that and she was very heavily sedated but she wasn't seizing anymore and they were able to get her hooked up to the continuous EEG.
• 22:14
  Leah: So she had the EEG and she had a camera that was pointed at her at all times so the neurologists could monitor her around the clock, even at their homes in the evening, and if the nurses noticed anything there was just a button that they could press to alert the neurologists.
• 22:34
  Leah: So for three and a half days she was hooked up to that and like totally, totally sedated, like completely non-responsive, managed to not get intubated because she's really strong.
• 22:52
  Leah: Most babies, I guess, do get intubated when they're that sedated, but Corey managed somehow to not all all three days.
• 23:03
  Leah: But it was definitely scary and disheartening to see my newborn, you know, hooked up to all the wires, cause she's got the EEG, the O2, the heart rate monitor, everything that goes along with a baby in the NICU.
• 23:25
  Leah: And that third day, when they started talking about, you know, slowly weaning her off because she hadn't had a seizure, was when I was being discharged.
• 23:38
  Leah: So I luckily had been in contact with a case manager at the hospital because I was scared.
• 23:51
  Leah: I mean, I didn't know at that point if Corey was going to make it.
• 23:56
  Leah: I didn't know if she would have this awful seizure disorder for the rest of her life.
• 24:03
  Leah: And the case manager was able to advocate for me to be able to stay at the Ronald McDonald House in Portland, because we live an hour away in Casco and I knew that I wouldn't be okay being an hour away from her.
• 24:23
  Leah: So they helped me fill out all the paperwork and, yeah, we were able to get in and stay at the Ronald McDonald house, starting like that night.
• 24:34
  Leah: So I didn't have to spend any time really away from her, really away from her, and I would recommend that to anybody who has a baby that has to stay in the hospital is, you know, try and get into the Ronald McDonald house.
• 24:52
  Leah: There are very few limitations on who can and can't stay there, I think.
• 24:56
  Leah: Really the only thing is like you can't be a felon, but I'm I'm pretty sure that's really like one of the few limitations.
• 25:07
  Leah: Like they have a recommended nightly donation, but if you can't do it, you can't do it.
• 25:12
  Leah: They won't turn you away because of that and you're right within walking distance of the hospital or they have a shuttle to take you back and forth.
• 25:22
  Leah: So that was like the silver lining of having her stay while I was being discharged yeah, that can be super hard for a lot of parents.
• 25:34
  Angela: That Ronald McDonald is a great resource for sure it is yep.
• 25:41
  Leah: and so they did start weaning her off the midazolam that day and that morning at rounds the neurologist was able to come for rounds and kind of explain what they had seen on the continuous EEG and what they had seen on the MRI that they had done in the middle of the night and I at the time didn't even realize that they had done an MRI.
• 26:08
  Leah: I was grateful that they had seen on the MRI that they had done in the middle of the night and I at the time didn't even realize that they had done an MRI.
• 26:12
  Leah: I was grateful that they had.
• 26:17
  Leah: But there were really two neurologists involved with Corey at the beginning.
• 26:19
  Leah: One was more of an epilepsy specialist and one was more of a cerebral palsy specialist specialist and one was more of a cerebral palsy specialist and I didn't know that before this meeting.
• 26:31
  Leah: But they both came to rounds and sort of explained what they had seen on her MRI, which was that Corey had two infarctions, one on each side of her brain.
• 26:42
  Leah: So it was very likely that she had a perinatal stroke, which I had no idea what that was before.
• 26:50
  Leah: But it's a stroke that happens right before, while the baby's being born or immediately after and we're pretty sure in Corey's case it was while she was being born, because all of her ultrasounds up till that point were completely normal.
• 27:08
  Leah: Her, you know, her tracing was when I was in labor, but it was nothing super concerning.
• 27:16
  Leah: But that is a risk with the vacuum extraction that they tell you about at the beginning, but obviously nobody thinks that's going to be them.
• 27:27
  Leah: it's also a big risk for the cervidil, for the pitocin yeah and they tell you that but, like I said, you never think that that's going to be you.
• 27:39
  Leah: So we had some answers as to why she was having seizures and luckily it didn't seem like it was going to be, you know, a lifelong seizure disorder.
• 27:53
  Leah: But because she had brain infarctions, like it is possible that she could have a seizure again and it's likely that she will have cerebral palsy, left hemiplegic, specifically because of where the larger part of her brain injury is.
• 28:13
  Leah: But I was just happy that my baby was more or less okay and they were able to start reducing the sedatives.
• 28:25
  Leah: And Christmas day she opened her eyes again for the first time and that was like the best thing ever.
• 28:35
  Leah: Like I had been so upset all day Christmas morning before she opened her eyes because they played Christmas music, not in the hospital but like all the radio stations just play Christmas music.
• 28:51
  Leah: So the ride to the hospital was all Christmas music and specifically I'll be home for Christmas kept playing and that had kind of been my go-to Christmas song that year because her due date was Christmas day, her induction date was the 20th, so she really really was supposed to be home for Christmas but she wasn't, so that that was really hard and you her opening her eyes made it a lot better.
• 29:26
  Leah: Still was not great.
• 29:28
  Leah: I consider this coming Christmas her first Christmas.
• 29:32
  Leah: I am not counting last year.
• 29:36
  Angela: Yeah, yeah, she'll be home for Christmas this year but she's she's doing amazing.
• 29:48
  Leah: like she had a repeat MRI at three months and most of her brain injury has healed.
• 29:56
  Leah: Like the entire infarction on the left side has healed.
• 30:01
  Leah: Most of the infarction on the right side has healed and I credit a lot of that to neuroplasticity and her having been in occupational and physical therapy since she was 16 days old, because my anxiety is a lot and I need to control things as much as I can with my anxiety, and that was my way of trying to control things was getting her into services immediately and it really has paid off.
• 30:35
  Leah: She's meeting her milestones.
• 30:36
  Leah: She's doing amazingly well, but yeah, she kind of had a really scary beginning.
• 30:44
  Leah: Yeah, she, she kind of had a really scary beginning.
• 30:46
  Angela: Yeah, that's terrifying.
• 30:47
  Angela: So how was she feeding in the those first few days?
• 31:01
  Leah: She was okay.
• 31:01
  Leah: She had an NG tube at first because she had been so heavily sedated and when she started taking the bottle she did okay.
• 31:06
  Leah: She had the Dr Brown bottles and we used the pre-me flow nipples and she was on those until she was about three months old.
• 31:14
  Leah: So I was very worried because we would try to move her to the size one and I'd never had a baby before so I didn't know that it's actually not that big of a deal if your three-month-old is still using a preemie flow nipple.
• 31:28
  Leah: But I was like, oh my God, this kid is gonna have like feeding issues.
• 31:33
  Leah: So I was really stressed out.
• 31:37
  Leah: I had really bad postpartum anxiety.
• 31:39
  Leah: I have anxiety to begin with and so I kind of expected to have some postpartum anxiety, but it was really really intense at first.
• 31:52
  Leah: So I was concerned about everything.
• 31:55
  Leah: But feeding was a big concern.
• 31:58
  Leah: I brought her to a dentist to get her checked for a tongue tie.
• 32:03
  Leah: I brought her for consults for feeding therapy, but in the end she didn't need it, she just needed time.
• 32:12
  Angela: Yeah, yeah, our bodies are amazing.
• 32:15
  Angela: That's so incredible that she's healed.
• 32:17
  Angela: I, I'm so happy to hear that Me too.
• 32:20
  Angela: Oh my gosh, wow, oh, that's amazing.
• 32:26
  Angela: So yeah, the postpartum, though, can be really hard, especially if you have like a traumatic birth where, like things are happening and then afterwards it's like you go home and it's, you know, you're traumatized from that and then you're kind of all those other things that the anxiety and the depression are kicking into kind of over time, just as a result of that too yeah, I was obviously super happy when she was discharged, finally on new year's eve day.
• 32:54
  Leah: I was like, yes, I finally get to bring my baby home.
• 32:56
  Leah: This is all I ever wanted.
• 32:58
  Leah: But then we got in the car and I was like, so who's gonna monitor her heart rate and her oxygen and make sure she doesn't have a seizure?
• 33:08
  Leah: Oh me, I'm gonna do that.
• 33:12
  Angela: Yes, I did and so did she have any other seizures when she was home, or she was just, it was just like right after birth, and then she had recovered yeah, knock on wood, she has been completely seizure free.
• 33:29
  Leah: She is not on any sort of seizure medication.
• 33:32
  Leah: The neurologist we work with is really she's amazing, like she's the smartest woman I've ever met and super nice, and she assured me that if she was sent home on seizure medication it would be for my peace of mind more than really helping Corey.
• 33:52
  Leah: So I decided that, as nice as that would be, I didn't need that.
• 33:59
  Leah: She didn't need that.
• 34:00
  Leah: So, yeah, she's not on any meds for anything.
• 34:04
  Leah: And, knock on wood, she's completely seizure free.
• 34:10
  Angela: Yeah, oh, my goodness, amazing, wow.
• 34:12
  Angela: So did the neurologist, or any of the doctors along the journey, like since she's been born, attribute any of this to potentially any of the induction medications?
• 34:26
  Leah: No, no, and I have actually looked into lawyers because I believe that it was due to the induction and, unfortunately, the feedback that I've gotten has been that, yes, it probably is, but I have a very difficult case due to my history of weight loss surgery and I have about 30 pounds of excess skin that they would have had to cut through for a C-section, which would have been difficult for them, and that's what they would argue and they would win the case.
• 35:13
  Angela: Wow, oh my goodness, what about, like if they could have just not induced you and just waited a little bit longer?
• 35:20
  Leah: I mean right that ideally could have been a thing too.
• 35:23
  Angela: I mean right that ideally could have been a thing too, but it's also hard.
• 35:27
  Angela: You don't know at the time.
• 35:28
  Leah: You know Right, and I agreed to everything because I didn't know and I probably wouldn't do it again.
• 35:38
  Leah: I do want another baby, but I am very heavily leaning towards a planned C-section at this point because I know because I still have a history of weight loss surgery that I would likely be an induction again.
• 35:56
  Angela: Was there a reason why that they said that you needed to be induced because of a weight loss surgery?
• 36:02
  Leah: So, yes, they gave an explanation.
• 36:06
  Leah: I don't think it's very good, because I was really adamant about not wanting to give birth at Maine Med and I fought as hard as I could to not have to do that.
• 36:15
  Leah: And their whole reasoning was because, yes, I've lost weight, but I am still 250 pounds, I'm still high risk, and they wanted to be able to get me a C-section ironically in under 10 minutes if needed, and they couldn't do that at Southern Maine Health and then they just didn't give me a C-section.
• 36:41
  Leah: Give me a c-section, yeah.
• 36:50
  Leah: And I asked at one point, would a c-section be easier?
• 36:52
  Leah: Like I had gone in saying like, hey, my birth plan is c-section and emergency only, but they like negate birth plans all the time.
• 36:58
  Leah: They you know that's another thing that the lawyers have said is like, well, your birth plan said c-section and only emergency, but like at that point it was an emergency.
• 37:09
  Leah: I had pushed for four and a half hours.
• 37:12
  Angela: That's a long time yeah, after being in into like a two-day induction, like that's a long time also yeah for a baby to be.
• 37:21
  Angela: We know, with all those things, you know the, the, the cervidil and then the pitocin.
• 37:27
  Angela: And then you did say once the like things were going okay until the water was broken, and that's when she started to kind of have some issues.
• 37:34
  Angela: And they're lowering the pitocin and raising the pitocin, lowering the pitocin, raising the pitocin, like just going through the steps and yeah it, it's a, it's just so heavily managed.
• 37:47
  Leah: Yeah, I think they wanted the control, like, yeah, my case was a little bit complicated, like I'm with that.
• 37:54
  Leah: But I personally never understood why they would think it was so complicated that I needed to be high risk, like even the high risk doctor I only saw twice because he was like yeah, you're here.
• 38:10
  Leah: Yes, your blood pressure is sometimes high.
• 38:13
  Leah: You don't need to come back until 36 weeks.
• 38:18
  Angela: That's like how high risk were you Really?
• 38:20
  Leah: I wasn't.
• 38:21
  Leah: Like I have no other health issues, like I'm overweight, that's it, like that really is it, and that's so frustrating because so often in the medical field that is.
• 38:33
  Leah: That's the biggest sticking point, that's the biggest thing.
• 38:38
  Angela: Yeah well, a planned c-section for our next birth is an option, but I do also want to plant the seed of sovereign birth Also, you could expand into.
• 38:51
  Leah: You know there are choices so, but yes, you can also totally go back and be like I want to think about, because, having my choices taken away from me so early, I feel like I did just kind of give up sort of.
• 39:12
  Leah: And you know I probably could have fought more and been like, no, this is not what I want.
• 39:16
  Leah: But you know, so early on being told like nope, doesn't matter what you say, this is what's happening, it was just kind of like yeah, doesn't matter what you say, this is what's happening.
• 39:25
  Leah: It was just kind of like yeah, okay, all right.
• 39:29
  Angela: And it's hard to, because that was the place where you felt comfortable and it's like it's so hard.
• 39:34
  Angela: I think, and I did this too in my first pregnancy, which ended in a traumatic birth also, but I was like had issues with my doctor and I didn't switch doctors.
• 39:42
  Angela: If you're having any issues at all, like switch and get another opinion, you know, from another OB and you know just, or you know any kind of different birth support.
• 39:52
  Angela: There are like a lot of options, options out there and yeah, and you're in it to be like, oh, maybe I need to.
• 39:59
  Angela: You know just like this is what there's, yeah, same to do, so Right, and like they're the experts, right, like this is what they're saying to do Right and like they're the experts right, Like this is what they do.
• 40:06
  Leah: So I remember thinking sometimes like okay, well, maybe I am wrong.
• 40:10
  Leah: Like maybe they're right, this is what they do.
• 40:13
  Leah: I teach special ed.
• 40:14
  Leah: I don't know anything about babies.
• 40:18
  Angela: Yeah, but you're a woman, you do know about babies right, yeah, intuitively, yeah.
• 40:31
  Angela: Well, as a final question, if you were to give advice to expecting parents, or even new parents, what would be the biggest thing you'd want to share?
• 40:39
  Leah: um.
• 40:39
  Leah: Advocate for yourself is the biggest thing.
• 40:42
  Leah: Yeah, yeah, even if you feel like you don't have a say, you do at the end of the day, like you're the one carrying the baby, like, yes, there are emergency situations where things need to happen, but you can always take time to think about it.
• 41:03
  Leah: You don't have to say yes or no immediately all the time and just do what you think is right.
• 41:12
  Angela: For sure.
• 41:12
  Angela: Tune into that intuition because it will serve you.
• 41:16
  Angela: Yeah, yeah Well.
• 41:20
  Angela: Thank you so much, Leah, for taking the time to share your story with us.
• 41:24
  Angela: It's been such an honor listening.
• 41:25
  Angela: Thank you so much, Leah, for taking the time to share your story with us.
• 41:26
  Leah: It's been such an honor listening.
• 41:27
  Leah: Thank you.
• 41:27
  Leah: Yeah, I do like sharing my birth story.
• 41:29
  Leah: It is traumatic, but it kind of helps to share it, you know.
• 41:37
  Angela: And that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast.
• 41:41
  Angela: Thank you for joining me and listening my Main Birth podcast.
• 41:47
  Angela: Thank you for joining me and listening.
• 41:48
  Angela: If you're looking to document your birth story or if you're interested in doula support for your upcoming birth, head over to my website, mymainbirthcom and check out my packages.
• 41:57
  Angela: I'm a certified professional birth photographer and an experienced doula, and I offer in-person services to families throughout the state of Maine, as well as virtual birth coaching worldwide.
• 42:11
  Angela: I want to invite you to grab my top free resource for newly pregnant moms.
• 42:16
  Angela: It's called 37 questions to ask your care provider Whether you've already established care or if you're in the process of interviewing new providers.
• 42:25
  Angela: This is for you.
• 42:26
  Angela: Not only are you going to get the questions to ask, but I also share how to assess their answers and the major red flags that you should be looking for.
• 42:36
  Angela: So go grab that.
• 42:38
  Angela: It's at mymainbirthcom slash download.
• 42:42
  Angela: Thank you again for tuning in and I look forward to bringing you more amazing birth stories.
• 42:48
  Angela: Don't forget to subscribe and leave me a review, and I'll see you back here again next week.