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Transcript

HOW DO YOU WHEN YOU'VE HAD A GOOD PERFORMANCE ;) · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: No say we say we should try to feel bad
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: for everyone else.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: They don't get an experience with you just experienced. Imagine
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: saying that, Drue girl, that is the most man thing
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I've ever heard of my life. Relatable the Relatables podcast.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: It's hosted by myself, Jake Craig aka Daddy, and my
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: partner in crime, the Robin to my Batman. As some
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: might say, who Audie class? Who I'm not answering aka mummy? Who?
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Who says that? Anyone listening? If they say that right now?
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: You can go off right now?
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Oh you do? Okay what I'm tired, man, you are,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: But I'm probably not as tired as the guy that's
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: losing sleep over the trash news I've got today? What
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: a segue? Okay, some Olympic news. Some Olympic news. I
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: don't know if you've seen this or not. I saw
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: it yesterday. Australian hockey player Tom Craig will lose Olympic
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: privileges after cocaine arrest in Paris. No way, really, He's
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: on the Kookaburras field hockey team. He's on the hockey team. Wait,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: so he got caught with coke. Yes, so Australian hockey
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: player Tom Craig will lose all his Olympic privileges after
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: he was arrested for buying cocaine in Paris. Chief Chief
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Dimssion and the Mears said this morning. Craig, twenty eight,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: was arrested in Paris on Wednesday morning, just days after
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: the Olympics campaign came to an end, and sorry his
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: team's campaign. The arrest came after some players went out
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: following a family and friends gathering for the men's and
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: women's teams. A photo has also emerged on social media
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: showing Craig handcuffed and seated on the pavement in a
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: story that's sourced from Australia's success in Paris, Okay. Craig
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: made a brief statement to the media after leaving the
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: police department in Paris about six fifteen pm on Wednesday.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Quote Craig, I made a terrible mistake and I take
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: full responsibility for my actions, he said. Quote again, my
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: actions are my own and by no way reflect the
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: values of my family, my teammates, my friends, my sport
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: and the Australian Olympic team. I've embarrassed you all I'm
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: truly sorry. Craig, accompanied by an AOC staff member, walked
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: away without answering further questions and left in a vehicle.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Mears said Craig is a good person who made a
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: bad decision. I'm glad that the matter has been resolved
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: and that Tom has been released, she told the media.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: But there are consequences they come with decisions like this. Well,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Craig would receive the Australian Olympic team's support if needed,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: She said, he would be moving out of the athletes
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: village and would not attend the closing ceremony. In terms
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: of actions at this point, she kind of goes on
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: to say, like, there's not much more we can do.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: This is how it is. Clearly Hockey Australia is disappointed
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: with Tom's actions, but our primary concern right now is
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: his well being. Is he going to jail? So no,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: just like just got off on a warning. I don't
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: even think he paid a five slap on the wrist.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Slap on the wrist, what do I do? Go by
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: it from under or something? So he actually I was
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: talking to Beth about last night. Apparently he bought he
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: bought it from a seventeen year old too, Oh my god,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: how do you get caught? Yeah? I don't know, bro
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: must have been He's like, get me out of the
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: village for my friends and gathering four fucking years of training. Yeah, oh,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I just finished my whole campaign with the team. I'm
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: not going to another Olympics. I'm twenty eight. Yeah, I'm
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: not waiting another four days for to finish. Now. He's like,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I'm celebrating now, and I'm celebrating fucking here. Damn. And
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: you got card imagine the head noise? Could you imagine
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: what he is going through at this very second? That's bad.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to think, like I know it's bad at all,
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: and I don't want to justify his actions, but like,
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: fuck me, it's just like.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Do we care that much? Yeah? Seriously, like his life.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: It's not as trying to sell Okay, okay, promoting it?
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah okay, So yes, again we admit, like it's bad.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: You know, Olympic athlete doing drugs yucky, yucky, yucky dude,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: some of the stuff other people do and get away with. Yeah, yeah,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: are you kidding?
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Well, this is just the cocaine, like badest drug there is,
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: like Tablo Escobar Association, Like they don't know about that
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: with stuff people were injecting in their bum that are
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: winning the Olympics, I know, legit, like the past four years,
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: everything they've been doing to get here.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: And now they're all clean. Yeah, just kidding. They can't.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: They've got to have the strictest like I surely yearly,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Like there's mad restrictions. Sorry, I like super super strict.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Like I tell you what, maybe looks worse.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it's justifying, it's not justifying their actions,
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: but it's sort of like the amount of publicity this
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: event's got because athletes are meant to be held on
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: like the highest like statue, Like they're meant to be
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: the best diet, They're meant to do everything right. But
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: this sort of like tells the truth that like they're
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: human because like I remember growing up as a kid,
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: like as I wanted to be a soccer player. Yeah,
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: and I was like I'm gonna have the best diet,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna do the best thing. I'm gonna have a
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: six pack. I can't touch anything. I can't trict alcoholic
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: country drugs. That's the worst thing ever. Yeah, growing up
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: learn a little bit how life is. But I think
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: that's how a lot of athletes think it is, especially
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: as a kid anyway.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: So this is it's like it's just life, it is.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: It's crazy what you give That's what it is. Actually
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: quite relatable, isn't it. It's crazy what you give up
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: to become a an Olympic level athlete. Yeah, it's like
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: it's pretty wild.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: A oh yeah, you give up events, relationships, time, the
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: amount of time it would have put in to get
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: into hockey team, be the best in Australian and Australia's
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: decent hockey team. We get sometimes medals.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, actually that's pretty good. I think we can go
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: the good this year. But yeah, but it's also just
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: any professional sport, I think is what you give up
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: is the ability to make a dumb choice. Yeah you know, yeah,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: you and I have probably made a million dumb choices,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: and like you know, in.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: The public eye, all we see it is like we're
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: not saying the actions of right bony means. But it's
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: also like humans are human, they make mistakes.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, imagine if you a human being, Okay, you're a
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: professional athlete and you're driving along and just like everyone
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: else could do in the moment. All right, you're driving
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: in your car and you accidentally be are en one.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: There's gonna be a news article about that. But it's
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: also I was even thinking we love to talk about
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: like when you got to go, you gotta go. Imagine
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: that time in NUSA, and like I'm thinking, like, wow,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: am I going to take a shit? I can't make it.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: I can't. But in the back of my head, I'm
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: just thinking, like I can't shit in public. I'm going
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: to get a fucking news article rid about me. I'm
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: just gonna have to shit in my rental car. I know,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: like this is that ape, Like it's human.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: Everyone's human, and they make mistakes, and it's sort of
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: just like I don't know, well, I don't know why
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: they've been put on this pedestal and because they're this
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: professional athlete they've made not to make mistakes.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: It doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, one percent, I
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: fully agree with you. When it then like it comes
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: into even the fucking I suppose where's the line.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: Obviously illegal drugs is the line, but like, no, look
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: this fair enough, Yeah, but like where is the line?
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: But I also think stuff like one of the things
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: that So my girlfriend's dad he used to be a
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: refah and in like a professional league, and one time
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: he made a bad call, right because he's a human
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: in a grand final, he made a bad call and
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: it was a wrong call. And obviously, but like they
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: make wrong calls all the time, because it was in
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: a grand final, it was worse. And I don't know
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: if it cost this one team the thing, but it
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: must have contributed or something because two for two weeks
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: after that, they had to have police outside their house.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. And and like he could he couldn't walk
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: out the door. There's police outside the house. His kids
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: were getting like bullied at school, they were getting like
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: death threats. It's crazy, isn't it crazy? And all because
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: of human made a decision and it would just so
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: happened with the second we have like fast pace, split second.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: And he says that one of the things that makes
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: it the worst is the fact that people can gamble
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: on sports because they have so much on the line.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Some people fucking gamble their life savings. I didn't think
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: of that. They put one hundreds of thousand dollars on
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: this event. Someone will win, someone to lose, and they
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: need to blame someone. It's like I put my life
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: savings on the line, and you're the reason.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: It's coming back to human nature. We're idiots too, and
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: then we have to blame it on someone. Yeah, even
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: so we're talking about it in the car here, so
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: some reason, so we put sports on a pedestal, but
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: like we put certain professions on a pedestal, and they
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: can't make human mistakes. No, Like we're talking about it before,
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: and we're like doctors, and like we're talking about we've
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: had some bad doctors experiences. Yeah, like for some reason
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: we say that doctors aren't allowed to make mistakes.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: No, like we think they shouldn't. We think they don't. Yeah,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: but they're human, they're literally human. And like we were saying,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: you know, doctors work at nine to five. Yeah, and
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: to them, yes, they get paid, well, I'm sure they do,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: but also it's their job. So imagine you at your
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: office job, working at nine to five. It's Friday, four thirty,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: and there's a meeting schedules all right, or like you
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: have an appointment with someone. You're getting that shit over
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: and done with as quick as you possibly can because
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: you have the next two fucking days off. Literally you
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: have to deal with you yeah, right, you know, to
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: deal with people coming in saying my elbow hurts or
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: like I fucking I'm shitting like diarrhea liquid bro. And
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: so the doctor's probably getting there on a Friday afternoon.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: You're only wondering why the doctors trying to rush you
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: out of there because they want to fucking go home.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: And yeah, and they make mistakes, and like we were.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I was thinking, I was like, maybe we shouldn't be
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: too hard on because we went past the doctor and
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I don't like that one.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: They didn't do a good job on me. I was like, man,
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm forgetting that they're human.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, they are human.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: We forget that everyone makes mistakes. It's probably a good
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: little lesson, actually, Yeah, And like maybe.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: We should start booking doctors appointments for like maybe in
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: the morning first thing, like Tuesday morning, kind at the
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: start of the week, but everyone hates Monday. Yeah, first thing,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Tuesday morning is when you probably to book a doctor
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: appointent because they're like fresh, like one or two appointments
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: in before lunch. All right, it's good idea is when
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: they've had lunch through a bit gluggy. Let's go, let's
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: go right, get the Crime's about like ten thirty am
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: to get a doctor's appointment. Is there any job like that?
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: We like, oh, yeah, they're going to make a mistake,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: like where it's like you're bound to make were like, yeah,
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: we're predicting that they're going to make a stake mistake
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: and we're fine with it. Like is there anything like that?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Like no food macat Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: fast food. Well you're next, Yeah, is this like a
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: there's a level to any fast paced restaurant if something happens,
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: it's like you do Understan and that.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: But also you can look at it like this. Macas
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: are pumping out food every fucking in a couple of minutes.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: Doctors are pumping out people every fifteen minutes. True, they're
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: going to make a mistake. They're fucking money grabbing that ship. Mate,
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: What give us your many care card. We'll take one
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: twenty and you get sixty back, like you go fuck
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: safe five minutes in, five minutes out.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: He's talking about professions that make mistakes. Do you reckon?
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Accountants ever make mistakes all the time? Numbers dude, Yes,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: because my missus did her tax return on her own
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: stone phone. Yeah, she saw the amount of getting back,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: and she's like, I bet you I could go to
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: h and up block and get more back. Yeah, And
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: so she went and she goes in and he goes, Okay,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: calculing blah blah blah, bah blah. He's like, okay, this
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: same how much you get back? Same amount? Yeah, fifty
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: dollars less actually than what she could have got back
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: on her own. But then she has to pay one
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: hundred and seventy dollars feet at the fucking getcount. And
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: she was like she was living and like she had
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: a bad experience something shehows like waiting there for all
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: the time, and I felt so bad. I was like,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: but Nobby, alrighty addie, I I just I wanted to
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: see if you could relate to me in any of
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: these things. All right, So I've thought of the top
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: five things I say when I know I've had a
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: good performance in wink wink, know what I mean? If
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: I can relate.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm learning that Jagie boy Over is a little
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: bit too confident that sometimes.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I'm not I'm not. No, I'm not
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: like satire satirish Okay, okay, satirish Okay. Number five, that
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: wasn't even my best Have you said that? Sorry? That
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: wasn't even my best work. So she's there like.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: Oh that was good, and you're to say like that
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: wasn't in my birth like Chad sucking chin on his head.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, I say it with a smile. I don't say
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: it's seriously seriously saying that. No way. Okay, number four,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: I feel bad for everyone else because they don't get
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: to experience what we just experienced. Okay, that's a team effort. One. Okay,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you said, well what you just experienced?
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: No say, we say we you shy feel bad for
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: everyone else they don't get experience with you just experienced.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: Imagine saying that true girl, that is the most man
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: I've ever heard of my life.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Do you have you said that before? Yeah? Yeah, but
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: it's we like, it's as it's as a as a whole. Okay,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: I get it, I get it.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we say it was also like she was so good.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: I get The first one wasn't relatable. This one, I say,
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: we say, aren't we lucky?
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Okay? Kind of cute. Yeah, yeah, this is what I
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: say when I think I haven't performed as well as
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: is being set up performed so most times, so this
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: is a pretty popular one. Number three This is as
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: if she was going, oh no, it was actually good?
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: All right, now what's it actually? But I'm kind of
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: actually knowing, like, yeah, it was that. What's actually good? Yeah?
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: You just want that hype up a little bit. I'll
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: be like I'll be like, oh sorry, no, no, no, it
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: was gonna be hop me up more. I need it,
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: all right? Number two? Should I get you a towel?
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Or do you need a minute? Like the town? It's
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: such a nice gesture and you are something's wrong of
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: your are? Do you need a minute? Like I know?
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I just do you need a minute to cool down?
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I'm intrigued to see. Not relatable for me at or
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Number one what's up? This is number one? Okay, top five,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: number one of the top five things I say when
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I know I've had a good performance. Surely the neighbors heard.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: See here's the thing. Here's the thing. Is not serious.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Yes you are not serious. I could never say that
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: and believe it. Yes you do, but actually you do
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: believe it. Actually no, no, no, no, no, Sometimes I do
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: like I actually want a lot of I am doing
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: like there was it? Actually one? Yeah that actually one
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: sort of relatable. But the neighbors, Yeah, that surely never
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: said that. So I thought i'd better follow these up
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: with Top five things I say when I know I've
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: had a bad performance. That's fatter. Yeah, so these will
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: be relatable for any class. Top So top five things
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I say when I know I've had a bad performance.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I say, you're just too good. Oh no, that's good.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, that couldn't last. Number four? Are we
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: ready to go again? In ten minutes? Making promises? I
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: can't keep you go ten? I go too? You say
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: two minutes?
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like ten, because then the moment's gone. I need too,
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: a little bit of kissing and get me go go
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: for it. Nah, stick it in and over the best
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: the first, the first like ten minutes after, Yeah, don't
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: even kiss me because I feel gross?
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Really yeah, clarity at that post night? Yeah? Right, what
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: am I just done? A number three? I'll say, Oh damn,
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I just don't know what happened. I swear that last longer.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Usually it's just not like it. It's just not like me.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I swear that's sort of like I'm not like other boys.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I swear number number two. In my defense, I haven't
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: seen you all week. No, I like that one's a
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: good one, yea. I hope we've got to know that
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: good one girls. Yeah, and this one is number one
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: of the top five things I say when I know
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: I've had a bad performance. I couldn't help it. You
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: just drive me crazy. Ah a little sweetie. Ye Well,
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: in your professional opinion, miss the sex God, I am
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: so far from it. Would you say you used the
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: top five and you've had a good performance or top
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: five and you had a bad performance, more bad from now,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: and to keep that list on your phone. Then when
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: you're done, you're like number three bad. I haven't used
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: the I haven't used your one yet. Of was that good?
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: I was always think is that a good one? You know?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: What I wouldn't mind thinking of is some good ways
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: to ask instead of saying like did you come? I
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: want to be able to think of something of a
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: good way to be like so, like did you finish?
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: But I don't want to say that, and you're one
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: of so was that a good one? Yeah? So I
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: don't know why it's just it's so I feel like
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: it's sleazy, but it's so good. Give it again, and
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: I just here's the thing, though, is I know if
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: I have to ask that, no, it didn't happen.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: It's sort of like the ego thing too, Like you
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: see their facial expresses. That was good, Like was that
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: a good one?
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Was that a good one? Could be used for when
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: I know I've had a good Yeah? Yeah, So next
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: time I have a good performance a couple it makes
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: months from now.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: Makes her think that like you're down in your abilities,
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: It's true, the next time is even better, she thinks,
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: his humble little virgin boy in reality.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: All right, Jake.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: So I was driving the other day. The lights were
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: backed up, and you know, those two lanes merged into
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: one that I was waiting my turn, patiently for someone
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: to let me in, as most people do. The person
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: behind me, though, started to like jam themselves right behind me,
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: no hate, no space at all, and the other car
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: was like beep, like wasn't letting him in and it
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: was like road rage, And I was like, that feels
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: like cheating in life, that does feel like cheating, Like
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: just someone to move, yeah, like just a bide by
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: the rules. There was full like road rage, and I
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: was like, fuck, that's intense.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Like it I've seen. There's this video that someone posted
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: of their dash cam footage and it was them doing
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: like that and constantly being not let in and then
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: hitting really car. And they were posting it to be
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: like how dumb are all these drivers these other drivers,
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: And every comment was like I don't. I think you've
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: got the wrong driver, Like you're the dumb driver. They
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: were roasting this fucking person. It's weird, like you're gonna
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: say what, I don't know, ten not even ten seconds,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: five seconds. Yeah, I'm not a big I'm like the
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: least aggressive driver there is. I think only good thing
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: about having my car is like because it's a bigger
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: kind of big ut sort of like, yeah, I sort
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: of just have a little bit of authority. You feel like,
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I kind of because I've been driving
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: my dad's big car. Yeah, I kind of miss my
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: little car because I could just dip dip in without
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: even any notice. Mate. True, so good, you're best of both,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: wort small car, you can dip in, big car, other
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: cars look out for you. True. True, But that brings up.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: This is things that feel like cheating but aren't well
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: made to go first. Yeah, those aren't even about life.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: This is about like relationship.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: I was just in life example, all right, eating food
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: before we were supposed to hang out.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Oh yo, I've never even thought of that. I wouldn't.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: That's rude as fuck, By the way, so do I
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: always if I'm hanging out with my girlfriend, I wait,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: I starve myself, yeah, because I want to eat with her.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: You know what? That's bonding time. That is It's like
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: you starve yourself because we get with her, but then
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: when you get to wherever you are with her lollygagging,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: all she does is take her time.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, I thought you were going to be
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: really cute then and say like your tummy aches are
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: gone because you like just as soon as you he doesn't.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: You know, what are you talking about?
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Trying to finish my sentences? Just no, I would never
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: say that I've been rubbing off on you. Fucking hell.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Things that feel like cheating but aren't hiding his phone
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: screen oh yeah, hundred percent. Like if he's trying to
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: get your gift, he's sending a message and he's just like, yeah,
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: you know what I do. Sometimes if I'm with Beth
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: and I go on my phone and put my phone down.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: If I'm at home, I do this, Yeah I do.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: It's because we get messages about work. Yes, I do this.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: But when if I'm at best and I put my
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: phone and I do that, I'm like, oh shit, and
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: I flip it over just so she knows this. I
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: don't care what.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: The other day, by accident, Casey's like, what are you hiding?
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: And I was like, what do you mean? She's like,
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: why are you boy hiding from me?
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, sorry, just have it okay. Things
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: that feel like cheating, but aren't having a work friend
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: that's a girl, a work friend that's a great it's
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: start calling him your work wife. And we've got a
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: different story over here. I don't know any gender any
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: gender friends. Mate, you never know. Fucking Now. You go
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: things that feel like cheating, but aren't buying a coworker
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: a coffee.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: Oh you're going out. You're in the office and in
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: the opposite sex obviously. Yeahah yeah, Like imagine like four trading.
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: From the company's I feel like I'm treating my girlfriend
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: whin being that guy that makes everything awkward. You're just
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: four traders, all right, you go get coffees you anyway, Like,
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: I feel like I'm cheating my girlfriend and they just
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: shut up fuck off, Like go back to there.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Literally, yeah, you're in the wrong profession. Yeah, go to
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: marketing or something. They dance for work. Oh. Man.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Things that feel like cheating but aren't. Bit of a
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: nostalgic one here, but I also was like, yes, this
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: is so true. Making eye contact with a teacher during
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: a test. You dropped out of school long time ago,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: but big test and then you like look up and
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: they mean.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: You smirk or something. It's it's like they're feeding me
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: the information. Oh okay, yeah.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: Okay, you know you've dropped out, mane now drop out
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: and you're too busy giving coffees of trades.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Mate, this one is fucking good. Okay. Things that feel
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: like cheating but aren't the first date that you go
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: on after a breakup. Oh that actually does it does
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: doesn't it? It doesn't feel right, doesn't feel right at all.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: You're like, what it feels wrong? You're like, yeah, like,
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: what am I doing it? What am I doing? You
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: feel so out of place in awkward, even though it's
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: not at all, you're fully that's actually a very good answer.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: The rest of aren't really yeah, the rest of really dumb.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: This one's like really good. Like it actually does feel
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: like cheating and it's not. That's true, Okay, opposite end
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: of the spectrum. I think this is maybe cheating. Let
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: me know what you think things that feel like cheating
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: but aren't being a story like her? Oh yeah, I
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: would say that's flirting the funk out of someone hundred
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: like you're in a relationship girls, picture of a face
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: or bikini, Like I'm just a story.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: Like like, what what is it like? Some people's rebuttals,
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: like you know how you like a feed post? Is
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: that like the same thing as they're saying, Like, I'm
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: just a story like her.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I don't even like feed posts. I'm a terrible person.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I don't remember the last time I liked a feed
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: post so much. I like, I like my girlfriend's feed
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: post the double top, I like yours. Yeah no, but
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: I like muscle memory like like I like yours. I
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: like like that's actually when cassies come up, I muscle
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: memory like them. Yeah, just because I'm like, I'll just
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: give them a bit of algorithm. I think I'm like algorithm, algorithm,
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: that's the most people. I'm like, I know my name.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: Imagine like you're having a fighter where the bets just like,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: why are you liking all these girls things? Algorithm, I'm
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: trying to boost the algorithm, trying to help himut boost
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: their algorithm. I'm telling you right now, I know how
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: this works.
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: All right, look at my phollow event your forwaring algorithm,
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: because think about.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: That's actually such a good fucking excuse. Okay, that's the
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: funniest thing is girls like why'd you have heard of
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: he be like, I swear I fell asleep and my
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: phone was open and does that thing where it doesn't
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: turn off and I must have rolled over and double tapped.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: All right, they think of these dumb excuses. Just straight
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: up and be like, I'm supporting the girl algorithm. Guys, algorithmy,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: don't you want to support them? That's good things that
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: feel like cheating but aren't. When an ex appears in
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: your dream and you're still in a relationship with them
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: and it's a good dream, I would argue that's cheating.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Why are you dreaming about your X? I know you
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: can't help it, but subconsciously it's there for a reason,
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: is it. Why else do your dreams mean anything? Yeah,
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: I was a part the other day and I'm sick.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I hope, I hope that happens. I don't dream about
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: clapping my ex clapping cheeks. You. I wish I did
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: with my girlfriend, but that doesn't happen. Come on, brain,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: do you think I've only ever had one, maybe two
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: wet dreams? Never? Really, I've had like one or two. Never,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: I haven't had one for all, like years. All right,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I haven't had one for years. But when I did
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: have them, they were never about the person I was with.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Maybe it was your body no longer with them. Maybe
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: it was your body telling you that this is over
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: your brain newer before the rest of you. Yeah. Wow,
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: so it is cheating.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: So maybe it is cheating. I think it's cheating. Yeah,
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: though you can't help it. But it's obviously because you've planted
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: the thoughts in there yourself.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: But it's you know, it was a dream. I don't
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: care you're going to tell your missus that you had
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: a dream about your ex communications.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: Things that feel like cheating, but aren't having inside jokes
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: with someone else. I reckon that feels like cheating. Really, yeah,
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: imagine you just started getting to himself. You came in
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: here and both Jack and just started like, oh with Jack, Yeah,
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: you started laughing. I'm like, what's funny?
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: You must have been living with me and Harry Hash
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: don't tell you. I was like, what's his? That? Actually? No,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: that makes sense, Yeah, that makes sense. Things that feel
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: like cheating, but aren't loving a pet that was gifted
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: to you by an X. Oh yeah, you can't do that,
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: gifted to you. But if you you were with the
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: X and the pet was gifted to you, it's your pet.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Break up and he's like, it's your pet, keep it,
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But you love the pet. You're not
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: gonna not stop. You can you can't stop loving it.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Does that mean you still love your REXO? No, it's
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: not your re made I agree, I'll just say it.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: I was just saying you should put that thing the
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: r SPC. A mate adopted it.
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: You know, if you truly wanted to get over your race,
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: you were taking put it up for adoption.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: What else feels like cheating? But isn't having exes? Fact,
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: knowing my girlfriend had a boyfriend before me? Yea, what crazy.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: It's cheating disgusting If you ask me, they must have
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: been hallucinations something. What feels like cheating but isn't. When
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: he says have a good day to a girl at
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: the macas dride through a capy day, if that feels
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: like cheating, I think you've got to read I got
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: one more. That's kind of the same telling their name
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: into a girl who's taking their coffee. Wait, maybe maybe
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: I'm a perfect gentleman because I don't like to say
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: addie because they normally say what or how do you
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: spell that? And I don't want to. I like to
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: avoid as much human contact as possible, so I just
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: say Sam, so with my girl. Yeah. My girlfriend's behind
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: me and she hears me say Sam's like yeah, he's
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: looking at how you do it? Though, because when they
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: call it if I gave him, it's because you're I
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: gave him Sam, and they start yelling out Sam. Yeah.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: They'd be yelling out Sam for ten minutes before I
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: remembered I gave him the name Sam. Yeah, your thinkers, FU,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: there's no way you've never forgotten before. Oh I didn't
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: I get it all time? Man, I'm on my stuff, mate,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Ask me anything. I've heard you give the name Pegasus before.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: How do you expect them to spell that? Not oddie?
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I was just feeling it's venturous that day. Fucking hell.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: I think they asked, like, where do you that that fro?
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh yeah, yeah. Things feel like cheating, but
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I'm smiling at a text from someone else. Fuck yeah,
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's when you know you're in love.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: But imagine being caught smiling at a text. All right,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: it's my last wife. I got one more keeping a
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: secret from them on their birthday, Christmas, et cetera. What
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: so like you got him a president's coming later and
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: you're like, I can't tell you, Like I've got your present,
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: I can't tell you what this episode is about. I
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: was like, how human nature is just like terrible the
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: start of it if like we're too hard at ourselves
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: and no one can make mistakes, and everything feels like cheating.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: My last one is actually this one actually does feel
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: like cheating. This might be the only other one, a
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: good one. Things that feel like cheating, but aren't not
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: telling your friends about your girlfriend. Yo. That's so true
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: because a lot of people that start and say it's like, oh, yeah,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: just keep it our secret, like, shut up, own me, yeah, fuck,
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: show me off. Yeah, I'm like eleven, like walk around
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: the keys, I'm the keys, walk around with me? Weird ay, yeah,
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: i'd say it so weird.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: I've never understood that, especially even when you have sex
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: with someone, like what if we keep this our secret?
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, why did you have sex with me? Then? Yeah,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: let's just keep this out a little secret.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because obviously ashamed. I've always thought that, like, if
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: you don't have sex with someone, let's like own it fu.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah all right, everybody, thank you for listening.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Once again. Where can they find more episodes? Jake Patreon?
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: And it's only five dollars a month for an extra
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: hour long episode every single week. Do we need that again?
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: Get over there. Community is growing every single day, and yeah,
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: good luck, community going on. It's wonderful. Yeah. So otherwise,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: we love you, See you later.