Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / "Emotional Wholeness: The Key to Authentic Living"
Transcript
- Pete: Welcome to another exciting episode of Pete for Exciting. I have two very special guests today. One is the author of Whole Before Two, How the Emotional Wholeness Transforms Every Relationship. Please welcome in Terry Moss and his wife, Carol Moss. Guys, welcome. It's so good to see you again. Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. Terry Moss: Thank you. ⁓ Terry And Carol Moss: Yay! Thank you! I see! Pete: So guys, why don't you introduce everybody to you, because I already got a chance to meet you. Why don't you let everyone else know exactly who you guys are. peter: Show ⁓ Terry And Carol Moss: Okay, well I'm Carol Moss married to this lovely man, Terry Moss, and we are just so super excited to be with you and with your audience. Pete: It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. Thank you. Terry Moss: All right. I couldn't have said any better. Pete: Right? Listen, Carol took care of that. She nailed that for us, She got it covered for us. Well, guys, it's so great to see you guys again. So Terry, like we were talking a little bit, how you said the book's doing really great for you. So why don't you tell everybody a little more about your book and a little bit about yourselves. You know, give them a little more background about you guys. Terry Moss: That is that. All right, well, thank you. So yes, the book, Whole You, before to. How emotional wholeness transforms every relationship. And it is, it really is a book about wholeness and understanding how to be a whole you. And by that we mean you're, there it is. Can you show that book again, Casey, you want to see it? There you go. Pete: I love the cover. That's a nice cover. Terry Moss: So that wholeness is when your emotional, spiritual, and ⁓ self aligned grounded and growing. That's how we define wholeness. And it begins you know who you are, you like who you are, and you live authentically in every space. So ⁓ that wholeness, gives us that opportunity to be in touch with who I really am. And they'd be comfortable with that. So external circumstances don't make me overreact become anxious. ⁓ It me to remain grounded because of my own wholeness that starts from the inside and goes out. ⁓ So the book. so. Pete: Mm-hmm. Terry Moss: Part of that is the ministry that you see behind Carol is One Flesh Ministries. that is all about helping people become whole in all relationships. And so whether it ⁓ a marriage whether it's a friendship, a business partnership, wherever we go, where we are. ⁓ And so if Pete: Mm-hmm. Terry Moss: It'll hold you. You can take that into any relationship and it enhances every relationship. So that's our work. And so we do that with some one-on-one coaching. We do that with groups conferences, workshops. travel we will with people via Zoom. But we do like the in-person and we do like to travel. So we like to partner our love for travel. with the love for working with people. So that's kind of in a nutshell. Pete: Yeah, you can tell though. mean, like when I first met you guys originally, just the energy you guys gave off is great. Carol's lover energy is awesome too. It's like you guys fit really well. You're like yin and yang. Like you're real mellow and Carol's really outspoken sometimes. But it's great though, because she's like your hype man and you're just like, yeah, I got this. Don't worry. And she's just coming in there. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that describes us well. So that's how we got on this path of whole you before too, because Terry and I are seemingly outwardly so different, but internally connected with our hearts, we are aligned. But to be able to deal with each other, being an introvert and me being an extrovert, we had to learn to become ⁓ whole selves. Terry Moss: You nailed us. You nailed us. Pete: Mm-hmm. Terry And Carol Moss: what we call that mature, emotional self. Just being mature and knowing who we are and loving who we are, I'm able to give my full self to Terry and vice versa. Pete: Yeah, and did it take a little bit in the beginning? Like it had to, like, you know, with Terry being introverted and you being, you know, it had to be interesting at first. So let you guys figure it out. It sounds like you guys communicate really well though, and you talk about these things and you guys come to an understanding, okay, this is how this works. you know what I mean? It's like, you can tell you guys understand things on a deeper level, you know, and it's really great. can tell just by, you know, you don't even have to say it. You can tell just by the way you guys interact. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah, yeah. And I love it. And I use the analogy of the three-legged race. When you connect it and you connect those legs together, you have to learn how to do that walk properly so that you'll be able to move forward. So how to walk together. Yeah. So we love it. Terry Moss: Wow, we're Pete: Mm-hmm. No, I love it. think that's perfect, though, honestly. Terry Moss: So, yeah, yes. So Pete, if you really wanna know the story, I can give you a little bit of how this came about because me being who I am, I would be hesitant to ⁓ a Carol. ⁓ ⁓ did that come about? So story short, it really started with... Pete: Yeah, definitely. Go ahead. Okay, okay. Terry And Carol Moss: Alright! Terry Moss: was going through a divorce and then went through a divorce and then through that ⁓ remarrying, there was this discovery of me. It was this opportunity to really get in touch with who I am. And therefore kind of became the genesis of what later is now this whole You Before Two book. So part of that book is just my journey, but not a biography, but key learnings. Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Terry Moss: that have really helped me become the best me that I am now, that prepared me for this woman. And so while after the divorce, people are still going through that whole process of finalizing everything, some of the church leaders, we both were in the same church, and in ministries, and classes, training opportunities, but never looked at her as somebody I would marry. But interestingly enough, some of those leaders kept saying to me, hey, you know, you should get married again. You should get married again. look, have you thought about Carol? And so the answer was no, I hadn't thought about Carol and wasn't thinking about Carol that way. I mean, she was a respected leader in our church with various ministries that she led, but it wasn't someone that I looked at, winked at, or even thought about dating. But however, Terry And Carol Moss: You Pete: Yeah. Terry Moss: One morning, morning in my own private prayer time, meditation time, there was this sense, and call it the spirit of God, but you know, why don't get spooky for people. But there this sense of it's okay to contact Carol. Pete: Yeah. Terry Moss: ⁓ let me preface this by saying my petition was, if I'm to be married again, Father of God, then don't want to date all the women in the church to find that one for me. ⁓ so. present to me the woman you have prepared to be my suitable helper. Pete: Yeah. Terry And Carol Moss: As if. Terry Moss: So that morning, Thursday, February 2nd, 2006, when that spirit said, it's okay to contact Carol, I knew what that meant. I knew that was the answer to my petition. But now, Pete, how do I go to Carol, whom I've never dated, never winked at, never had any romantic inclinations, and I'm gonna go to her and say, hey, we're gonna be married. Terry And Carol Moss: Hehehehe All you know is that she's on the other side of the church loud. You can hear me before you see me. Pete: Hey, so guys. Terry Moss: Yeah, right. Exactly. That's true. That's true. That's true. Pete: Yeah, so how did it play out though? mean, it seems like you guys were connected by soul just right off the bat kind of thing. Like you knew instantly. Terry And Carol Moss: you doing? Terry Moss: ⁓ that so so I did ⁓ Carol via an email that morning ⁓ just let her know I need to talk to her about something. And I said, when you're available, let me know. I need to talk to you about something. And she responded to the email about 15 minutes later, and her response was typical Carol fashion. She said, if if it's good news, I'm available now. If it's bad news, If business, let me check my schedule. ⁓ Pete: Yeah. Let's just end of his business. me do that. I love it. That's great. That's a great response. real quick, what were you thinking when he sent that email originally? Did you have any idea what his next intentions were? Terry Moss: It is, it is, sorry. Terry And Carol Moss: Well, yes, let me tell you, because I would have never in a thousand years thought that I'd be married to, we called him Elder Moss. Now Elder is not of age, it's like the deacon of the church. So you know, you know Deacon. Pete: ⁓ no. Yeah. Terry Moss: No, it's like, excuse me, it's one of the pastoral team members. It's not just speaking. want you to know I have authority. have authority, you know. Terry And Carol Moss: Now, you don't date the pastoral team because they're taboo and especially who we call elder moss because elder moss was always let me see, do I call it? ⁓ Like he would be ⁓ only words that you will hear out of elder moss mouth have you done your homework? I'm teaching a class. Will you join my class? Pete: ⁓ no. Terry Moss: Not old. Not old. Pete: ⁓ no. Terry And Carol Moss: Can I tell you what the Bible say? Do you have a moment? Can I speak to you about your ministries? He was always on the straight and arrow. So when he contacted me, I was used to getting, being contacted by the ministers and, the pastors and stuff at church because of the other ministries that I led. So it wasn't no big deal, but elder Moss has a way of, Terry Moss: Hahaha Terry And Carol Moss: landing the plane very slowly. So I'm at work and I'm like, okay, come on elder boss, what you got to say? You know, because it's almost the weekend. And so now I'm thinking he needs me to do something in the church as usual. Pete: ⁓ ⁓ no. Right? ⁓ Terry Moss: Right, right. So she followed up to the email and we had a conversation that afternoon. I just said to her, your name has been given to me as someone I should get to know better. So I'd like to know if I can take you out to dinner sometimes so I can get to know you better. I thought that was pretty good, Terry And Carol Moss: So this, go ahead. Terry Moss: There was silence, was no response. like, ⁓ man, but I blew it. my goodness. ⁓ Pete: She's like, wait, what? I wasn't expecting this. Terry And Carol Moss: Yes, you don't want me to join a class. You're not about to give me a scripture. These words are actually coming out of your mouth. So I was kind of like taking a back because the single lady in the church, I'll say normally guys are always trying to have a date or whatever. But elder Moss was always, like I said, he's just so elderly. Pete: ⁓ man. Terry Moss: That's right. This is more elder-like or something. Elderly. Pete: You That's great though. She just keeps calling elder moths. I'm like, ⁓ no, this is it Terry And Carol Moss: I'm Terry Moss: So, yeah, you're right. So spite of all that, curiosity or not, she said yes, ⁓ would go out there with me. And so we both checked our schedules and we're both very busy people. So in a two week period, the only time we would have available to go out to dinner was that night. So that's why that was so significant. Thursday, February 2nd, 2006. Terry And Carol Moss: You Yes! Terry Moss: When the spirit said, okay to contact Carol, that afternoon we talked, that night we went to dinner, we talked for three hours and. Pete: Yeah, see, I was going to ask you that though. Yeah, see, that's why I asked you if it was a soul connection because you can just tell there it's just fluid. You know, she didn't know what to expect. And then you guys went to dinner and it was just like you all just like, OK, well, you know, we just had a busy week. We just got together for dinner. We're having a conversation. I get it. I know the feeling. It's great. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Terry Moss: Yeah, yeah. And five months later, we were married and now it's been almost 20 years. Terry And Carol Moss: Yes. And I like what Pete said, you're my yin and yang. We're yin and yang. Yes. Pete: Yeah, because know, opposites attract, say a lot of times, like, you know, my, my, my lady friends like that too, though, she and I have that soul connection thing too. She came to visit and it was the first time I've met her. She and I met through Tik Tok, you know, a lot of people cringe about it, we met and it was just like, it was like, we just, we already knew each other a long time ago. Like she just, we just kind of just conversated, things like that. Everything was just felt fluid, you know, and things like that too. So now she's talking about moving closer to me. So that's why I asked that because a friend of mine, she, she was my, she's my spiritual person. Terry And Carol Moss: Yes, and that's a good thing. You Terry Moss: ⁓ serious. Pete: ⁓ Catherine, she runs another podcast called Willing Hill Matters. And she said that to me and we were like, I was like, you know, it's just weird. And was telling her about it. You know, it's just like, it's just like, she was just like, she went on a trip and she just came back. It's like nothing. It's like, I was not even nervous. I like, I've never met this person. Mind you, we never even first, and we talk all the time, you know, and things like that too, you know, and it's like, we just met and just instantly just clicked. No problems at all. There's no nervousness. There's no weirdness, no awkwardness of any sorts. So that's why I asked that question to you, if it was like that too, because it's really, it really sounded like. Terry Moss: for Yeah. Yes, yes it was, yes it was. Terry And Carol Moss: Yes. And that was one of the best yes that I can say that I've made in my life. better person could not have been sent for me. ⁓ needed in elder Moss in my life. ⁓ Pete: Right? So the follow up question now, Carol, that what did you have to tell your friends? Like, ⁓ yeah, me and my other mom went on a date. I sure they all looked at you like, what? Terry And Carol Moss: I know, yeah. Yes, I was literally even scratching my head after I left because I went one way. I went, it was comical, out of curiosity, just to hear what he had to say. But actually after those three hours, I was leaving differently. I was leaving with a question mark over my head, like, could this possibly, Terry Moss: Yeah. Terry And Carol Moss: didn't know you ain't thinking about elder Moss like that. So we had to revisit our conversation the next day and that was Friday. Well, by Saturday, I kind of knew, but I knew that elder Moss wouldn't, I mean, he's not like outwardly. So I'm like, now I like you, cause I know you like me. Now I'm going to have to kick it into fifth gear and let you know I like you. So I'll put it on an extra spray or perfume. Pete: Yeah. Okay, okay. Terry And Carol Moss: A little smile. Pete: That's awesome though. mean, that's great. So then how did we get to where we're now though? Like, like when did you guys come up with the idea of the whole, you know, the idea behind everything though? I mean, was it just something that you guys came together like, you know what, this is a great idea. I think when you share this with everybody else, you know, what was that defining moment where you're like, you know what, I think this is really great. We should share this with other people because, because really Terry, I think it's great. I love it too, because I did the same thing. I've been going through a divorce currently and you know, I've been reflecting this past year. Terry Moss: Yeah, actually it came from... Pete: of other things. you know, at the same time, I like the work that I'm interested in has BPD. So like I'm learning new things. So I have to learn how to read, like redo things. Like you can't talk to people with BPD the same way you talk to everybody else. So in anything, if anything, it's helping me better because it's helping me with a lot of things I've always had trouble with, like the way I deliver things to certain people at times, you know, it's like, it's making me have to really think about everything now. Terry Moss: Yeah. And relationships are good for that if you're in a good relationship. It will cause you to rethink things within how that plays out externally. And when you have someone you can bounce those things off of, so to speak, or those a-has, now let me test it out. Like if I say it differently, I might say it to her, how does she respond? Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Terry Moss: And it should respond in a way that's very positive. And you realize, OK, I get it. I get it. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. No, see, you get it completely. You know, and it's interesting because like you have to be careful tone of voice and the way you deliver things, the way you say things, you know, like you really have to rethink your whole thought process. So like how you normally talk to people, you can't do that with these, these types of individuals, you know, and it was interesting because it was like, you know, I'm having to learn these two things, but at the same time she was, she was impressed. The fact I'm going to these great links because I've had people on the show that are experts in that field and actually reached out to one of them and asked her that Terry Moss: Yeah, yeah. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Pete: I said, Dr. Jen Belanger was actually on the show. and I still communicate to this day. She was one of my top five guests and she'd actually, that's what her specialty is. And I said, Dr. Jen, I'm talking to this girl. She has BPD. Like what do you advise you have for me? Well, I have a whole community you can go to and she has a whole, I told her, said, yeah, you know, I'm signing up for this whole support community for people that have BPD so I can better understand things and how does, and she's just impressed because the fact, the links I'm going to him like, well, yeah, because Like I understand things on a deeper level than most people do. And I know I get where she comes from because a lot of people don't understand those kinds of things. know, and it's that willingness to understand and being understanding that you have to think about how you're approaching things with her is really making me think about things overall in general. So now how I apply it to everything. It's like now I'm really thinking about how I'm saying certain things because now I'm like, you you learn that, okay, tone of voice matters in these certain situations, especially with her, especially like. You gotta be careful because like sudden movements and loud like raises your voice and things like that will get her react to and things like that. It's almost like, it's almost like you have a small child with you little bit in a way, know, like kids react to your voice and tone of voice thing, but they're more sensitive to it though. You know I mean? Like their, their emotions are like, you know, ours could be at like a hundred, hers would be at a thousand, you know I'm saying? Like, geez. So it's like, it's that kind of thing too. And you know, I'm very energy sensitive too. So like I, Terry Moss: Yeah. Pete: I could feel the energy and things like that too. know, and like ever since the last time we met, I've been working on it actually really good with that getting really good at it, know, sensing people's energy and things like that too. Like I can meet people within the first five minutes and know whether or not this conversation is going to go somewhere. So, you know, that's why I chit chat with you a little bit beforehand. And, you know, I think there's, there's a few interviews I finished and there's some I haven't even used because I was just like, yeah, just the vibe just not there. Like if I don't feel like this conversation is be beneficial, I'm going to just take a pass and see, unfortunately just didn't make the cut for the show. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And that's what I'm talking. That's what we will call that emotional wholeness because then now you looking outwardly, it's not just about you. It's not an immature person. Emotional immature person will say, I can't be dealing with this because that person is that way. And that I don't have the energy for that. But when we know who we are and love who we are, and then we live off Terry Moss: Right, Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Terry And Carol Moss: authentically to who we are, then we're able to look outwardly at another person's emotional state or how they are and then we can meet them as to where they are. So it's not always just about us. Pete: Yeah, no, I agree. Terry Moss: And that's secret. That's the key that empathy toward others because of your own maturity. so kudos you. I'm really impressed how you are understanding that relationship with your new girl ⁓ and her specific and how she needs to be handled, so to speak, in a positive ⁓ way. so, yeah, Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, no, I know. But you get it. You know what saying? It's almost like how you approaching things with her is different than you do with everybody else. But I'm applying it to everything because I'm seeing the benefits of it in general just make sense to me because it's just like, you know. And I told you the same thing in the beginning. It's like just because you have these extreme circumstances doesn't mean somebody can't care for you. And it's like, you know, and she's like, well, why are you doing all this stuff? Because I want to be with you. mean, we have a connection of sort this past weekend, which is 100 % proof of it. Terry Moss: Yeah. Yeah. Pete: You know, things like that too. And it's like, you know, all these things I'm doing and, you know, she's very impressed by it. I'm like, I'm doing it. And not only am I doing it for you, I'm doing it for myself as well, because it's great because I'm applying this to everything else and it's helping me, you know, and she's teaching me stuff along the way too. So it's really great. So I'm learning a lot of new things, but I've always been really understanding. you know, and with me being on this show and everything too, she knows, I told her, it's like, you know, you're getting into something with somebody that's, pretty much everywhere. Like everything about me is on the internet. So like you're going to come up in a conversation and we're going to talk about you. and things like that too. You're okay with this, right? Like I asked her ahead of time, like before I start mentioning things, she's like, yeah, you know, you're good, you know? So, but yeah, you know, it's, it's, it's not even like, it's like not even doing homework. It's just like, you know, at the end of the day, it's very interesting. The stuff you learn, you know, and a lot of these videos and algorithms and stuff start playing into that factor. Like, you know, my TikTok videos are showing me a lot more of those because she sends me different videos of things that I can understand. And like, it helps you understand the things on a deeper level, like certain things that you'll start to notice. And then you start noticing like, certain things that happen and you know how to identify it. then the fact that you're telling them that, know, you're, okay, I understand. You're, you know, you're basically telling them, all right, well, I get what you're going through. And that's, that's, it's really beneficial to them because you're like, no, I'm some validating your feelings. I understand what you're feeling, you know, and things like that too. And it's how you react to things like, you know, if you don't go start panicking things in a certain situation, it's, know, and stuff like that too. And it's helpful though, in general, you know, and, and then a lot of people say it's a nightmare, but it's really not. It's, it's, it's really not. It's, it's how you, Terry Moss: Mm-hmm. Pete: how you look at it, you know what mean? Like these people are dealing with these things and you're just gonna have to be okay with it. If you're not okay with it, then you know, it's just like anything with addicts. Like you just can't be half in, half out. You gotta decide if you're gonna be there, you're gonna be there. You can't go in and say, well, you know what, I'm given, no, you have to be there 100%. You can't give up halfway through it. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah, that's perfect. Terry Moss: I tell you, I'm just listening to you and I'm just smiling inside. I'm thinking, he should get this book. whole year before too is it will really help you to give words to what you're expressing because I think of things like this, you talked about, well, it's not like I'm doing homework. Well, it isn't, but it is becoming emotionally prepared. And our book talks about that. Pete: Okay. Yeah. Terry Moss: It's that, Carol mentioned that emotional maturity is what allows you to give yourself to another person in a sense of wanting to really understand their needs. And I promise you that is not among the human race. ⁓ Pete: Yeah. ⁓ it's not. ⁓ I know it's not. Trust me. She told me a lot of the people told me that too. A lot of people like to say when they watch a lot of the show and listen to the show and stuff like that, because I'm on everything, YouTube all the way down to Panda Radio. And, people like always say the same thing. They're like, you're very understanding. I said, yeah, I went into this thing, understanding that, you know, what I'm going to get into is interesting conversations about things like, I don't know a lot of this stuff. And I've already told people, I don't know a lot of things, but I'm very curious to know more. And the more I can learn from everybody. And these individuals I get to meet all the time with these different conditions, it's always interesting to ask them the same thing. Like, hey, how do you experience it? Because like that's the whole point I try to drive to people is that just because you have the same thing doesn't mean you experience it the same way everyone else does, you know, in things like that too. you know, my, my understanding is that I've just, I understand a lot of things. I'm very understanding that, you know, this is a safe place for people to come into because people are coming in here to share these stories, you know. Terry And Carol Moss: Please. Terry Moss: That's right. Pete: and things like that as well. And when I started this show originally, was to raise awareness. Now it's more, I'm doing that plus I'm creating that safe space for people to come in and talk about these things because a lot of people don't like that. They hear these things and they make these harsh comments because they don't understand what they're looking at. it's nice where people know that because a lot of people mention my name and they're talking about, have you met Pete before? ⁓ yeah, Pete's show. And everybody says the same thing. like, ⁓ yeah, you're very understanding and things. I'm like, yeah, well I'm. Like I knew that, like I got into a lot of interesting situations early on. Like I did 200 episodes in the first season. I've talked to lot of people and there's a lot of crazy situations we got into, you different topics you get into. You get into some really hairy situations. So, but you know, you have to understand that these are, these are people's lives. They're telling these stories. Like you have to be ready for what you're going to hear, you know, and it's, it's hard sometimes, you know. Terry Moss: That's right. Pete: And things like that too. But at the same time, you know, I'm learning new things from all these different experts that come on. So it's really cool because then I can apply to other people like, listen, you know, I learned this cool technique from somebody should try this and all these other things. So it's really great because it's a great conversation starter with most people, you know, and they're like, a lot of people get nervous coming on here and then they're like, well, I was good. It was so easy to talk to you. I'm like, I told you it's easy. I got you. Don't worry about it. Because me being a good host means I'm going to get you through this interview together. It's not just you, you know, I mean, we could be Don King and I could sit here and ask you 20 questions. Terry Moss: Yeah. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Pete: But that's just not my style. had a guy that's an ex-CNN reporter. He was telling me that he enjoyed my way I interviewed and do things like that, too. I almost fell on the floor over here. I was like, ⁓ hold on, wait a He's talking to me. And when I met you guys on the panel, half of those people had more credentials than I did. And I'm just like, OK, well, I'm the rookie here in this group. But OK, why not? ⁓ ⁓ been great, though, the opportunities you get and the things you didn't and the people you meet and all that kind of stuff, too. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Terry Moss: Yeah. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Pete: You know, so it's been great since the beginning of this, you know, so I definitely going to check out the book for sure, of course, because I'm interested because you and I see a like a lot of ways, Terry. Like I said, the way you were just presenting everything, I was like, damn, this sounds just like me 100 percent. Like not even before you even finished. I was like, yep, this is exactly what I'm dealing with currently. Terry And Carol Moss: And you know what Pete, and that's so interesting listening to your journey is what led Terry to write the book. Cause we written a book together prior to this book and it's about marriage. But one day we were just sitting and speaking and how one flesh ministry even was back in the day when someone asked ⁓ to do a conference for the first time as a couple. Pete: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Terry And Carol Moss: Talk about marriage and Terry was a little reluctant. He was just like I know but because I admired his teaching style even before I became mrs. Moss I loved Terry's character in the church and how he carried himself So I was able to like you said be his hype man. I was like no, babe You should do it. We should do it because your teaching style is amazing So I was able to then convince him let's do it and it came Pete: Yeah, exactly. Terry And Carol Moss: It went really, really well. They continued to invite us back and then it traveled. Other people was inviting us in. So then we said, well, then we have to call ourselves something. So that's how we came up with the one flesh ministries, because then it turned into a business. fast forward getting married and how Terry came into our lives. I was a single mother at the time raising three children and one had a special needs. Pete: Okay. Terry And Carol Moss: how Terry came into our lives with that gentle spirit, with that wisdom, with knowing that I'm coming in and I'm attaching myself to you guys. So it's not kicking in the door and we're to do things my way. We're going to just kind of merge together and do this equally and together. And it works so well. So one day during the pandemic, I was sitting there and I was talking to Terry and I was like, Pete: Yeah. Terry And Carol Moss: ⁓ you know, you're a very wise man because I noticed how people kind of gravitate to him and he just is so patient and how he's able to pour wisdom into them and always take the time to talk to them. I said, you know, all of us is going to leave this earth one day. said, and the wisdom that you have and that you're sharing now, you need to put that on paper. Pete: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Terry And Carol Moss: I said, put that on paper so that you can leave a legacy as to how you lived your life as a man of God, let me say, as a great father, an awesome husband. No one's perfect, but you do what you do and you try to do it to the best of your ability. And that's a gift. I said, you should write it on paper. He was like, I was like, no, really. And so I convinced him. And so he was like, okay. But I said, no, do it now. Cause we can say, okay. And we'll put stuff on the shelf and it'll be there for a while. I convinced him like, you see me. I'm very high. I was like, no, it now. Do it. Start doing it now. He was like, you think I should start doing it now? I said, do it now. And he started that day. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Terry Moss: you Terry And Carol Moss: And from there on, he would get up in the middle of night, four or five o'clock in the morning and just download and just write in the book. he finished, I would say maybe in a month span or two months, he gave me the manuscript to read. And I blew my mind. said, babe, this is so good and so necessary because we talked to a lot of couples. I was like, this is so necessary. This emotional wholeness. And so that's how the book developed and he did an awesome job. I'm so proud of him with this book and for this material that I need too. So. Pete: Yeah. Terry Moss: Aw, thank you. Pete: Right? Listen, listen, before you even described him, you could already get that feeling from Terry though. He's really relaxed. He comes in very easily. He's very approachable, you know, and especially you bringing kids into the relationship as well. You know, the whole thing is like, well, who the hell is this guy? Your mom's bringing in your kind of thing. You know what mean? Like, but Terry comes in as he's not he's not threatening in any way possible. He's not going to come in and tell you start telling you, well, I'm the king of the castle. No, Terry's like, hey, listen, I'm Terry. How you doing? I I could just see how the interaction went really well with them because the way he approached them. And it's the same with these younger generation too. It's how you approach them. You can't just come at them the same way that we do as we did as kids. It's a lot different these days. They're more in tune to their emotions. And they want to be treated like they don't understand, like they don't know what they're saying. And I could see that though. mean, like I said, Terry didn't have to say much. And when you started describing it, it's 100 % you get that vibe from him though. He's just real relaxed. You come in and have a conversation with you. the way it's, like I said, it's the way you approach people. I could just see it happening though. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Pete: And that's awesome, though. I like I said, you push them to do the book and the book is going great now. And I like the whole whole wholeness thing, because that's how the way I look at things, too, because it's like, you know, I am religious, too, but I'm not like to the point like, you know, where it's always turned me off because you always run into those super fanatical people. I just like force feed it on you. I'm like, but you can't do that religion. That's not how it's mostly meant. So I met a pastor before I started this show in. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Pete: Pastor White was his name. He actually and I still talk to this day though, but he was the one that was talking about it. And the way he presented it was the same way I feel like Terry would come to me and talk to me about it. He was just like, just talking to me about it and things like they said, you know, I told him my concerns, this is my issues I've had. And he addressed all of them. He was like, yeah, you know. And he's like, that's just not how things go that way. He's like, the way he was represented to you is not the way that should be presented to you. You shouldn't force people to do something because you're never going to get somebody to do anything and you force them, you know? And it's like, you know, you're right, you know. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Pete: And then when I accepted fate, then this show took off like in the beginning. This thing is taken off from the beginning. Like I was looking to the end of the year right off the bat. And I started in September of 2024. And then you're already have I have one spot every Monday. I was doing a weekly show live and I had already filled up the end of year. Then come I open a second spot open to the end of the year. Come November that same year, I'm out to July of 2025 already booked with people that want to be on this show. because of just the thought of what it is and what I'm thinking of doing. know, and I deal with imposter syndrome a lot of times at first I did, you know, because I didn't realize how successful it was. like in the around the same time this show shot off to July, I didn't realize people were already talking about me. I had met another girl. She does another podcast called Mentally a Badass and Justine had come on my show and me and her had met. We were talking a bit, having a great conversation. I think we went for like an hour and a half long. We had an hour and a half long conversation. We were just talking about things. So apparently Justine had met up with another friend of mine that runs a podcast called Emotion Unavailable. And she's like, ⁓ yeah, do know Pete First Anxiety? And I was just like, holy crap, they're talking about me. And I didn't realize this. I didn't know this until the next year, like when I start listening to her show a lot. And I got to the episode, was like, ⁓ hey, listen, Melissa was on there. My friend was on there. And it's like, all right, let me go listen to this. And then near the end of she's like, hey, do you know Pete First Anxiety? She goes, and Melissa goes, ⁓ yeah, I know Pete. I love Pete. You know, she's just going off, lighting up. I'm like. Hold on, wait a minute. I had to keep repeating it. I kept repeating this thing over and over again. Like, holy crap, people are talking about me already. This is insane. So later on, I met another girl named Jasmine. She runs a podcast called Everybody's Addicted. And her area is more addiction and things like that. But you know, we all understand mental health and addiction all kind of play hand in hand. So when I met Jasmine, she had 60,000 followers on YouTube. so to this day, she has 100,000. She literally comes to me and goes, Pete, why is it that I hear your name more than I hear anybody else's name? I'm just good at marketing. I don't know what to tell you. I'm just good at networking with people and things like that too. And it was just so real because it's like, I didn't realize how many people are talking about me and how many people were mentioning my show. You know, it's, crazy because all these people I'm interacting with are going and telling other people, this, have you met Pete for his anxiety and things like that too. To date, I could tell you about anybody that's been on this show. If I suggest their name to somebody and I say, Hey, listen, just mentioned Pete for his anxiety. I said, just tell me how fast they respond and say yes. I think so far it was 10 minutes later, one of them said yes instantly without even thinking twice. Oh, Pete sent you? Yeah, go ahead. You know, and it's like, I've worked hard for that credibility to that point of like, you know, doing all these interviews and meeting all these people and things like that. I actually had a returning guest for this season. She's been on three times now and she does a lot of shadow working and things like that too. And she was one of my first guests I had on the show, you know, and things like that too. So I meet a lot of podcasters and things like that. So I'm kind of like, I feel like In a way, I'm kind of like Terry the same way too, because I'm teaching these guys new things about podcasting and introducing them to it. You know, I've introduced my friend Jay to it. He's on a hundred episodes now. A couple of friends are looking in through the glass. They're already at like almost a hundred episodes now. There's two young gentlemen I met recently. They wrote a podcast called The Life Podcast, and it's just two young guys having a conversation and they're having like honest conversations, know, things like that too. And it was really great. I came on the show. We had a freaking blast of when episode 20 comes, I'm coming back because for podcasters, that's your benchmark. You want to hit 20 episodes and then you've done something. You've done more than most podcasters have done ever because most people don't make it to 20 episodes. They give up before that point. Hell, I'm at like 300 plus now, just different interviews I've done with people and things like that. And I'm still booking. Like I was telling Carol when you had to go into the room, I was like, I'm booking until May right now. Like I'm in the May with people lining up to be on this show and it just keeps going. Terry And Carol Moss: music. Terry Moss: goodness. Terry And Carol Moss: He's just moving. Pete: And I'm getting emails every day from other people that I've either listened to the show or somebody suggested to me and things like that too. And it's like, it's the same thing. It's just like, it's crazy. And then I have a side project to do and I'm to pick up a third project. And it's just because I enjoy what I'm doing. You know what I mean? It's like, it's not even work. It's great. And I know my one friend worries about me. She's like, you're going to burn yourself on like, dude, I'm having too much fun here. Like do these people I'm meeting? Hell no. I love it. It's great. I all new people all the time and things like that. I people that want me to come back and hang out with them some more. Terry And Carol Moss: It's really good. Pete: You know, and then these people, like I said, they're always talking about me. like, I feel like, like I said, me and Terry feel like we're the same people. I really do. Like I said, the same way. Think about it, kids, the same way. Right? Definitely. Hell yeah, definitely. I'm down for it. Bring Carol Long too. Of course, we got to bring her with us. We got to have our hype man with us. We do. Right? So, so. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. ⁓ Terry Moss: I out sometime. Yeah, I have to come to Texas to hang out or something. Terry And Carol Moss: Hey, y'all need a hype, y'all need a hype. Just let you know. Terry Moss: No, that would be great. That would be great. But I think a lot of your success from what you have described, and I don't your history, but ⁓ you described, that success comes out of your authenticity. And you're not trying to force your way to success. You're being who you are, and that brings success. And so I applaud you. Keep doing what you're doing. Terry And Carol Moss: Good. Pete: Mm-hmm. Thank you, Sue. Thank you. I appreciate it so much. You know, that's great. I love it every time people tell me that. It's great because it's like, know, even some of my idols, like I said, Dr. Jenn came on the show. I was fangirling. Terry, I'm not gonna lie to I was fangirling. She was really cool about it, too. She knew I was super excited for the beat. I was like, oh my God, Dr. Jenn, I'm so excited. She was just like, she was so sweet about it, too. She was like, oh, it was just awesome. It was great, though, because like you see her on these videos. And then was like one day I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to go for it. You like you said. Carol, the email, I just shot it. I'm like, I'm just going to go for it. Shoot the shot. And that's how I get a lot of people in the show. People, a of people are asking me, how do get all these people in your show that are like so famous and all these other people? Like I've had podcasters have 2.5 million downloads on their podcasts. You know, they have been on this show too, before they've been on everybody else's show. Like, how do you get them? I'm like, I just ask. mean, what are they going to say? No. At the end of the day, like you ask somebody, what are they going to say? No, do you? Okay. I've heard no a thousand times. I'm still going like, I'm like, I've heard no enough times. It's like, Terry Moss: All right. Pete: know, doesn't affect me anymore. Like, all right, you get used to it by this point. Like, you're going to pitch people. Some people are just not OK with the idea of it. But other people come back around and are like, oh, yeah, definitely. I'm down for it. Let's go. Let's do this thing. And so, you know, it's been a great success doing that. You know, like I said, I've earned that reputation of, you know, just like where I'm at because I'm very strict about how I do things. But like, you know, I like to keep it casual because I like the conversation. I feel like it's a lot more fluid. You don't have to feel like you have to like be on point about everything all the time. Like you can make jokes and. Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Terry Moss: Yeah. Pete: and things like that too. So which leads me into my question I ask all my guests at this point in the show. this question comes in from that same friend that has 2.5 million downloads. She runs a podcast that calls to shit that goes on in our heads. My friend Gretchen came on the show. I love the name. I wish I saw that name sooner. So Gretchen's question to me and my question to both of you guys are, ⁓ if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? Terry And Carol Moss: Thank you. Terry Moss: If my mental health had a song. Pete: Mm-hmm. This is a great question. I'm telling you a lot of people love this question. Terry And Carol Moss: If my mental health had a song, it would be, this is an old song that they used to play and I can't think of the artists who made it, but it would be, go around in circles. ⁓ go around in circles. That be my mental health, gonna go around in circles because they, Terry Moss: Hahaha Terry And Carol Moss: by day, season by season, your mental status can kind of go in different ways, gonna go around. The enemy is always going to try to attack your mental status. But when you know who you are, you bring yourself right back around. Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Terry And Carol Moss: as to knowing who you are. The negativity may be there. Someone may say something about you. Someone may reject you. Someone may tell you no, but you come right back around and knowing who you are and loving who you are. And this is just who I am. So that's what I would say. The song of my mental would be going to go around in circles. ⁓ Pete: I like that, it's awesome. Terry, what do you think yours is? Terry Moss: Yeah, so I have words, but think this is words of a song. So that's what I was just trying to find out. Is it really words of the song? But my words and I think it's song, upside down, inside out. ⁓ Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah, very good. Rhyme and rhyme. But I think there might be words that go to my song. Let me see, baby, because I think those are words that go to my song. Let me Google. Pete: Yeah. Terry Moss: That would be too weird. That would be too weird. But I was just looking, oh, I don't know. This may be, I don't I'm just looking at some words to see if this is what, but some of the other lyrics, upside down, inside out, and you can feel it. Upside down, inside out, and you can feel it, feel it. I don't know what all that means. But for me, it is that you can feel it. And what you're feeling sometimes feels like this upside down, inside out, Terry And Carol Moss: Hahaha! ⁓ Terry Moss: Who am I? ⁓ am I? What am I? ⁓ is this good enough? And that's kind of that for me. ⁓ Pete: I love it though. Terry And Carol Moss: So is it, so what is it inside out, upside down? Yeah. Terry Moss: Inside, upside down, and then I guess I can feel it. Upside down and inside out, and you can feel it, and you can feel it. I have to do some more research. Pete, you caught me off guard there on that. ⁓ Pete: Well, I mean, it's a great question, but you think about it because like music plays a big part in lot of people's lives, you know, things like that. You're having a rough day. turn on a song, you sing a song in the car, you know, you're always feeling good. It's like you always have that one song you go to when you're having a rough day, you know, or you're having a good day and it's like, you know, OK, well, this is my song, you know, and you just kind of jam it out and things like that, too, you know. So the next question and the reason I started this podcast is if you could break the stigma. about mental health. then when I asked you this question, it's like anything you see, like you could say anything on the internet, or things that come and talk to you. Like what is something that you would say that you feel like you want to break the stigma about? It could be marriage and things like that people that have these false pre-consumed notions that, know, because the internet these days likes to tell us a lot of things, but you know, it's hard to tell what's real and what's fake these days. Terry Moss: And so you're saying, would I say about? Yeah. it's an interesting question for me. before can answer that, I'll give you a little background because growing up, my mother experienced mental health issues. She have nervous breakdowns. She would kind of lose it mentally for a while and kind get meds and... Pete: Yeah, what would you say you'd break the stigma about? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Terry Moss: get re-stabilized and I remember eight, nine years, 10 years old, being the one caring for her through those moments and trying to help get her back in the house if she goes loopy or get her settled. my to that is more a place of compassion and not pointing the fingers and laughing at them and, ⁓ look at weird. So ⁓ to that Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Terry Moss: People really have to get a level of understanding. You don't necessarily have to be with their parent. experience is that that's helpful because you'll ⁓ learn ⁓ from the real deal scenarios. But these are people too. And these are people that something has caused reactions inside of them that causes behavioral episodes or responses that's different than what we ⁓ Pete: Mm-hmm. Terry Moss: would say is normal, although sometimes what's normal. give more empathy and understanding to help break that stigma. Pete: Yeah, no, I agree. Carol, what would you say? Terry And Carol Moss: Yeah. Terry Moss: Simple but true. Terry And Carol Moss: Right. And I would say that mental illness is real and we do have to pay attention to it. And mental illness does not mean that weak. It's a weakness because to be able to, and when we talk about wholeness is you knowing that you are dealing with some sort of mental illness. And so you reach out for, ⁓ help. Pete: I mean it's really true, it is. Mm-hmm. Terry And Carol Moss: being in that we raised a child with mental illness and special needs, my thing was looking at him as to what he could do. So I saw the goodness in him and not focus on his disability. So mental illness does not mean it's a weakness at all. And that we now today have to really pay attention to Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah, definitely. Terry And Carol Moss: mental illness because it's real. You never know what a person is truly dealing with. So stop, take the time, listen. Listen, not just through the ears, but listen from the heart. Pete: I think that's, couldn't have been sent any better than Carol. 100 % agree with you. I love it. That was great. Thank you so much guys. Thank you so much for coming and hanging out with me today. I appreciate it. It was great. Before we start wrapping up, why don't you let me know where they can find you? You know, plug it. Obviously Terry books gotta be available everywhere, right? And everybody can go check it out right now. Terry And Carol Moss: Thank you. Terry Moss: Yes, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, ⁓ retailers. ⁓ lost, you lost the hearing? wow. I'm not in a room with her, so we're gonna have to just let her listen to us. ⁓ the best place to find us, you can go to one source, onefleshministries.org. Pete: Okay, get to me. Ha ha ha. Terry Moss: One word, onefleshministries.org. you can get more information about us, where get the book, ⁓ about we do. You can book a contact. You can book us for an event. So ⁓ that's like one stop source ⁓ for all matter. ⁓ We just the whole website and I'm very excited about how it looks ⁓ now. ⁓ Pete: Hey, there you go. Awesome, that's great though. That's really good. Yeah, I remand my website too, so I agree with you there. So that's really great then. Definitely, Terry, we're have everybody go check you out there. Guys, check out Terry's book for sure. Let him know what you think. He wants to know. He wants that feedback. Carol, no, you can't hear us or you can't hear us. I appreciate you coming as well. I really do. And with that being said, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete First and Anxiety. Yet again, Terry and Carol, thank you so much for being here, guys. I appreciate it. Terry Moss: I'll go through it. Pete: ⁓ You know if you have anything new in this future, let me know definitely. I'd love to have you guys come back I enjoyed having both of you here. It was great conversation You guys are always welcome to come back and hang out with me anytime. Like I said Terry man. I was great It was great meeting you guys. I was great catching up with you guys again Yep, check out the book right there Carol's got it right there the whole you before two guys check it out right now everywhere You can get your books at guys and with that being said we're gonna wrap this episode of people's anxiety on people's anxiety on tik-tok all the way down to iHeartRadio I'm on Spotify all the down to Pandora and as I always say, it costs nothing absolutely to be kind to somebody. One kind act you can do can save someone's life or hell, you can't make their day. I'm Pete, for this anxiety sign-off saying, don't ask how your day is today, say hey, how's your mental health?