Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 23- Christmas Special Part One. 10 Things Every Play Therapist Needs to Know at Christmas

Transcript

Episode 23- Christmas Special Part One. 10 Things Every Play Therapist Needs to Know at Christmas · The Play Therapy Circle

0:00
Hi there and welcome to the Play Therapy Circle.
0:04
Before we begin, Please note this podcast is for
0:07
informational and educational purposes only.
0:10
It does not provide therapeutic advice and listening does not
0:14
create a client therapist relationship.
0:17
All views expressed are my own and any case example shared have
0:21
been de identified to protect privacy.
0:24
If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a
0:27
qualified mental health professional in your area.
0:33
Hi, and welcome to an episode of the Play Therapy Circle.
0:38
I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
0:42
therapy trainer. And I'm.
0:43
So grateful you're here. This podcast is a space for.
0:47
Thoughtful. Soulful conversations about
0:50
child centred therapy. Play based work.
0:53
And what it means to show up with presence and compassion.
0:57
Both for our. Clients and for ourselves.
1:00
Whether you're a seasoned play therapist, a student just
1:03
starting out, or someone deeply passionate about working with
1:07
children, you belong here. Hey everyone, welcome back to
1:14
the Play Therapy Circle podcast. I'm your host, Kylie Ellison,
1:18
and I am so glad you are here. Welcome you guys.
1:23
Episode 23, What? It is the 13th of December.
1:30
Holy moly. If I thought I was tired last
1:34
week, here I am again. Yay.
1:37
How are you guys doing? Like truly truly how are you
1:41
doing? For those of you watching on
1:44
YouTube or I think it's Spotify as well that has the video these
1:47
days too. I managed to grab this pink set
1:53
so a clothing label named Proud Poppy.
1:55
I don't know if anyone's heard of it before.
1:57
I haven't shopped with him for ages, but I put it on today
1:59
because I was like, I just need some colour vibes, you guys.
2:03
And it's been magic. It's been really cool.
2:07
I feel very colourful and sprightly today, which is
2:10
unusual for this time of year because we literally have 12
2:13
days until Christmas. Have you finished your Christmas
2:16
shopping? OK, confession time.
2:19
I have one more to go. Kind of I have one more to go
2:25
and then maybe a couple more, but we're on the home stretch
2:28
with that. I went to the shopping centre
2:30
yesterday here in Brisbane, one of the bigger ones.
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So for those of you who live in Brisbane, you would know Garden
2:36
City Shopping Centre is where I went in Brisbane.
2:39
I was expecting it to be really busy.
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It wasn't so much. So I'm not sure if that means
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that people are going away now, which we saw obviously that
2:49
change over Christmas a few years ago with COVID and COVID
2:51
lockdowns, that people were staying local.
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Well, they're only just kind of travelling around, you know,
2:56
kind of within an hour, hour and a half of Brisbane kind of
2:59
thing, either the Sunshine Coast or the Gold Coast.
3:01
But maybe people are going out of town or overseas now, which
3:05
is great. People are going away for
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holidays with their families. So it wasn't as busy as I
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thought, which was kind of nice because I was there.
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I think we worked out in the end.
3:15
We left home at 10 and we got home at 5:00 so we're there for
3:18
like 7 hours. So if any of you guys are in the
3:21
trenches of taking your kids to the shopping centre to get your
3:23
last minute Christmas shopping done, I see you.
3:26
I feel you, I understand and I care as Carrie Linders would say
3:30
truly, truly. But I feel like, and I don't
3:34
know if anyone else is feeling this as well, our office is
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going to close next Friday so it does feel like we're on the home
3:40
stretch. I don't feel like I can relax
3:42
just yet because I know I've got things on my To Do List.
3:44
But once that is done, I think there'll be a real
3:48
intentionality of me kind of going, OK, cool.
3:50
I've got a couple of weeks off and I'm just going to stay home
3:53
and enjoy my family. And I hope that that is an
3:56
option for you as well or, or whatever your version of self
4:00
care looks like over Christmas, New Year.
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I hope for all of you listening that you get a beautiful break
4:05
over this time because it's been a massive year.
4:09
It's been a massive year. So what I wanted to do this
4:12
episode is going to come out next week and this is going to
4:16
be a 2 parter this episode. So I have titled the 10 things
4:20
All Play Therapists need to know for Christmas.
4:22
So we're going to do that. This episode is going to be all
4:27
about our client work and and our families that we serve and
4:32
how to support them at this time of year.
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The next parter will be about looking after ourselves because
4:37
we are just as important in this process of child centre play
4:40
therapy. Then over the week between
4:43
Christmas and New Year there'll just be a little short video
4:45
from me saying hello and thank you and then we will get back
4:49
into episodes the beginning of January when I am heading to
4:53
Bagara. So any of you guys who know sort
4:56
of north of Brisbane, northern part, it's about 6 hours drive
5:02
north from Brisbane and we like to go there as a family.
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My husbands family like to get together up there as well over
5:09
the Christmas New Year period and I find Bagara and I
5:13
encourage you guys. I'll talk more about this in the
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second part of this episode next week.
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But I encourage you to find, and it's taken me a long time, so I
5:21
don't know that I'm necessarily completely sold on this either.
5:24
I'm sure I will find other places over my life, but I think
5:27
it's important, if you can find a place that helps you just stop
5:32
and connect and regulate and recharge, you hold on dear to
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that place. So Begara for us has been that
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for quite a few years now as a family and I find it so special
5:44
because you can literally sit on the beach.
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It's not a very busy town, which is great.
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That may change in years to come as more people discover it, but
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it's really nice. There is a tree, actually, I
5:55
don't even know if it's still there.
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It'd be interesting to see if it's still there when we got in
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January, but there's a tree where someone local has set up.
6:02
Essentially, it's like nature play and they've put together
6:07
like created like a little bit of a cubby house on a tree that
6:11
sits at the beach. It's kind of up higher so it
6:14
doesn't catch the waves and kids can play on it and it's kind of
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got instructions about what kids can do.
6:20
I don't even know if it's still there, but my kids love it.
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And it's just one of those places where it's not busy,
6:26
there's not a lot of people. There's an amazing coffee shop.
6:30
I always never like this. You guys, if you guys have been
6:33
following on the socials because I'm a geriatric millennial, I
6:36
call it the socials. I have been trying to post more
6:39
a little bit about my life and what I get up to each day.
6:42
So if you're interested in, it's totally fine if you're not.
6:46
But if you are, I post that over on the Play Therapy Circle
6:51
social media on Instagram and Facebook.
6:53
So if you're interested, feel free to follow along on
6:55
Instagram and socials and Facebook.
6:58
But I didn't realise how much coffee I drink.
7:03
I actually don't drink a lot. I actually only have two and
7:07
this is again confession time. Everyone can confess their
7:09
coffee level of their coffee addictions, but I have one first
7:14
thing in the morning and then I'll have one more in the
7:17
morning session. So for any of you play therapist
7:19
in the trenches, I will generally have a couple of
7:22
sessions and then kind of coffee in the morning, tea like around
7:26
10:30 and then that's probably about it.
7:29
I don't tend to have any more after that.
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So I realised that's a big part of my morning is getting coffee.
7:38
So if that's also a big part of your day, welcome.
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You are in a safe space here. I also love a lot of coffee.
7:45
I didn't take it up until I was like in my 30s though.
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Like wild. I went through all of the
7:52
newborn stage and the early baby years and the no sleep with not
7:56
a zero amount of caffeine, no caffeine at all and then
7:59
discovered it because I was like, it actually was for
8:02
confession time guys. It was actually like a New
8:04
Year's resolution. And this is really timely this
8:06
time of year when we talk about New Year's resolutions.
8:09
My New Year's resolutions have really evolved over the years.
8:12
So maybe that's something I'll put in my end of year podcast
8:16
episode is what is your New Year's resolutions?
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What are you going to do next year that you want to work
8:21
towards anyway? I that particular year, it must
8:25
have been, I want to say 2015 or 2016 when my kids were like 2
8:29
and 3, something like that, maybe older.
8:31
And I was just like, everyone drinks coffee and I don't and I
8:35
feel really left out. And when I go to coffee shops,
8:37
you know, to catch up with friends, I'm having like a hot
8:39
chocolate and it's boring. So I'm going to try drinking
8:42
coffee. And that was the end.
8:47
I've never looked back. So maybe now I'm 43.
8:50
That's probably about 10 years ago.
8:51
Oh my God, Where has the year gone and where have the years
8:55
gone? Far out.
8:57
No, wait, I'm 42. Wait, yeah, I'm 4243 next year,
9:02
so 10 years next year. Well, there you go.
9:04
There you go. So if you need a lot of coffee
9:07
at the moment to get through the Christmas New Year period, you
9:10
have my blessing. My blessing, all of the things I
9:14
have. For those of you watching, I'm
9:15
just holding up now. I have a matcha.
9:17
Yeah, because the coffee that we have around the corner here,
9:21
it's literally like less than AK from a house.
9:24
And I drive every time. You can absolutely bet I do not
9:26
walk without 800 metres. I drive anyway.
9:30
The coffee there is very strong and so it I took a turn for the
9:35
worst the other day when I had too much caffeine.
9:38
So that's not pleasant. But the matcha is great, the
9:41
matcha is great. So we are living our best lives
9:45
with matcha. I never thought I'd be that
9:46
person either. So here we are, here we are.
9:48
I am definitely going to do an episode at the end of the year
9:50
about where have we been this year and where are we going.
9:54
I've just unpacked so much in that 8 minutes that we've just
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been talking. OK, I need to get back to the
10:00
reason why we are here today and probably why you guys are
10:03
listening and in the background going.
10:05
OK, Kylie, thank you for the update.
10:06
Let's just get on with it. So I hear you.
10:08
I hear you. OK, I want to talk about this
10:11
episode, As I said about working with kids.
10:13
There has definitely been a lot of supervisors I've connected
10:16
with over the last week who have been talking about the fact that
10:20
things have maybe gotten a little bit more hectic in the
10:23
playroom. I am seeing from our private
10:26
practise perspective, we are fully booked up until like the
10:30
like, I'm literally seeing clients on the last day that we
10:33
close our office because I've got some last minutes and it's
10:37
something I haven't seen for a few years now.
10:39
So I think it's really interesting just where we are at
10:43
as a community. And I promise there will be more
10:45
episodes deep diving into all of these challenges that our
10:49
families are facing in 2026 with heaps more episodes to come next
10:54
year, you guys. But I think just helping you to
10:57
feel like you are not alone if you are working as a sole trader
11:01
in private practise by yourself, if you're just working on your
11:04
own for our international guests and listeners.
11:07
So how can we help support our families during this time?
11:13
So in Australia, everyone is different.
11:17
Just to kind of clarify to our international listeners, when we
11:20
are talking about the Christmas New Year period, we, our
11:24
practise is going up until the 19th of December and then we're
11:27
going to be reopening on the 12th of January.
11:29
So taking about 3 weeks off that is, I guess normal.
11:35
Everyone has a different process, you know, depending on
11:38
their community and you know, their availability and all of
11:41
those things, right? So there's, there's a lot, lots
11:44
that go into that consideration around how long you close for.
11:47
Some practises may only be closing for two weeks, so they
11:50
might be coming back the week before.
11:52
So that would be the, I'm trying to do the maths in my head for
11:55
anyone who's watching on YouTube.
11:56
You can see my head going tick, tick, tick.
12:00
I feel like someone's probably yelling it out.
12:02
It's far the 5th, the 5th of January 2026.
12:06
Some folk might be coming back in.
12:09
I can only talk to Brisbane guys.
12:10
So I'm just going to do that. And I'm sure it's different
12:12
where you are listening in your part of the world, but for our
12:15
Brisbane community, often times a lot of our government, what do
12:22
you call it, government departments closed down as well
12:25
over that Christmas, New Year period or they have skeleton
12:27
staff or they just have on call staff.
12:29
So I'm speaking about things like youth justice, Department
12:33
of Child Safety, all of those kind of government bodies that
12:37
support our communities as well. So it tends to be a slower time
12:41
of year in terms of work for our communities in that really weird
12:47
stage between Christmas and New Year, like after sort of the
12:51
26th and then kind of until New Year's.
12:53
It's a it's an odd time of year. So I don't know if that's the
12:57
same for you, especially for say, our American listeners.
13:00
I know we've got quite a few of you guys listening.
13:02
It might be a little bit different where you work right
13:05
up until just before Christmas and then maybe you guys come
13:07
back after the weekend. I'm really not sure.
13:11
Definitely feel free to reach out and share all of the things
13:13
about your experience. We always love to hear from our
13:15
listeners. But it, it, it obviously is
13:19
different. So take this with a grain of
13:21
salt of where you are in the world, but I know definitely in
13:24
Brisbane and in Australia right now, there is so many different
13:28
factors that are influencing why we are seeing so much challenge
13:34
in our playrooms. So I want to list a few of those
13:36
for you now. So I think definitely that end
13:39
of year culmination of therapy work, Oh my gosh.
13:44
And for some of you, like for some of my clients, I'm coming
13:48
up to, yeah, 2-3 years of working with them, which I see
13:53
as such an incredible privilege. And for if my clients are
13:57
listening, I don't know if they would be, but families that I
13:59
have worked with this year or I'm still working with, I
14:03
honestly feel it's a, it's a privilege and an honour to have
14:06
that opportunity and that time to work with them.
14:07
So I don't take that for granted at all.
14:11
However, I think it's one of those things where if we've been
14:14
catching up regularly throughout the year and then we go on a
14:17
break. So for me personally, because of
14:20
next week, I'm not doing any client work.
14:23
I have training to do. So it's going to be 4 weeks
14:27
break for my clients, which is yeah, obviously a big break and
14:31
we know in CCPT protocol not ideal either.
14:36
It's not something I regularly do at all.
14:38
I usually only take a week or two.
14:39
As you guys know, I only took one week this year.
14:41
So like I've been pretty consistent all year, but I think
14:46
everyone needs a break. And when I've been mentioning it
14:48
to some of my clients, they've also been sort of saying, Yep,
14:51
we're ready for the break as well.
14:52
So I think it's not just us as therapist, but I'm sure there
14:56
are families in our community that also feel that end of year
14:58
kind of culmination. I think one of the things that
15:02
I've noticed as well with a lot of our families across our
15:05
clinic. So I'm not just thinking of one
15:07
of two, I'm thinking across our clinic and I'm in Brisbane as
15:10
well. To clarify, many of the parents
15:15
are saying I just can't do it this year.
15:17
Like Christmas, Christmas vibes, Christmas, festive spirit, all
15:21
of those things. They are genuinely all telling
15:25
me they're overwhelmed, which I haven't had for a few years.
15:29
I'd really love, I guess those of you listening, if you have
15:33
had a different experience. I'm always, always keen to learn
15:36
and I'd love to know what your experience has been in your part
15:39
of the world because we have 31 countries listening.
15:42
So I, I would love to hear if it's been different for you and
15:47
I guess your secrets of success because definitely here in
15:50
Brisbane, the number of, and I'm, I don't want to be gender
15:54
specific, I never liked doing that.
15:55
But on this occasion, I guess to kind of clarify who I've been
15:58
talking to generally, mums that I've been speaking to across
16:03
our, our practise community of those families that we serve.
16:07
So many, like I lost count of how many mums were kind of like,
16:10
I feel like the Grinch this year.
16:12
If I heard that like 5 times, I probably heard it more and that
16:15
was like self elicited. I didn't kind of offer that, you
16:18
know, metaphor. I didn't kind of ask any direct
16:21
questions. I was just like, hey, how you
16:22
doing? As anyone who is a parent or
16:28
caregiver in the trenches of Christmas period would probably
16:31
also respond with. So I found that fascinating
16:35
because again, that's not been something I've encountered
16:37
before, but genuinely some of our parents feeling just so
16:41
overwhelmed with the task of Christmas.
16:46
And I am a Christmas lover. If anyone knows me well, you
16:50
know, I mean, I've got Christmas nails on.
16:52
I'm going to show them on the screen there.
16:54
And yeah, I'm going to get Christmas nails next week for
16:56
Christmas. Yeah, 100%.
16:58
But even for me, and this is self confession times, I don't
17:04
know how this got so real this episode.
17:06
I'm always doing this, you guys, I'm going deep, going deep
17:08
quickly. It's not necessarily felt like
17:11
that. It's and I think that when I
17:14
reflect on it, it's partly just the combination of the year,
17:18
what I was saying before, but I think it's also potentially the
17:20
heaviness of everything around us.
17:22
So for us in Brisbane, again, we've had the cyclone in March,
17:28
we had an earthquake, my daughter reminded me the other
17:30
day and I was like, Oh yeah, that's right, it didn't, it was
17:33
fine. We rebuilt, it was fine, but
17:35
we've had that. And then we had the hailstorm a
17:38
couple of weeks ago while we were away that we are still
17:42
needing repairs for. So it's been a big year.
17:45
Just when our communities and everyone and their families, let
17:50
alone anything else that you've got going on in your own
17:53
personal life as well, whether that's a separated family,
17:56
whether that's your own mental health issue, whether there's
17:59
challenges for your kids, financial strain, job security,
18:03
all of those things, right? That's all on top of it.
18:05
So I just want to recognise if you are also feeling a little
18:11
bit exhausted as a therapist, I want to give you that permission
18:17
to slow down, I guess to pace yourself, to kind of get
18:23
yourself through the next little bit.
18:25
You're almost there, You're almost there.
18:28
So what I think is important, before I go into the 1st 5
18:32
things I think every play therapist at Christmas time
18:34
needs to know, I just want to give a further, I guess, list of
18:38
those contributing factors for why we might be seeing
18:43
challenges in the playroom and challenges with our families.
18:46
So we know this time of year. And again, I've gotten so much
18:50
feedback from families about this in the last week.
18:52
You've got so many events. So again, talking to Brisbane,
18:55
you guys, I always like to give context in Brisbane, a lot of
18:58
our schools will do end of year graduations, they'll do end of
19:02
year Christmas concerts, there'll be gift giving.
19:07
Usually there's it's a real wind down of academia.
19:10
So it's lots of kind of free play days, which is great.
19:14
We love that as play therapist, right?
19:15
But it's a change in their routine from their normal school
19:19
experiences because sometimes these events often go late.
19:25
It can mean then the next day the kids are coming to school.
19:28
I'm really tired. My son actually had his
19:31
graduation because he's finishing grade 6.
19:33
He's going into high school next year and he had his graduation
19:37
and graduation party and it didn't finish until like 9 I
19:40
think at night on the Wednesday night.
19:42
And they still have Thursday the next day to go to school.
19:45
So that's, that's a big kind of difference to normal routines
19:50
is, is my point. So there's also, I guess,
19:54
conversations or practical experiences of more family
19:59
proximity. So we're starting to have more
20:04
experiences with extended families or events or occasions
20:09
or get togethers where we wouldn't have normally.
20:12
So absolutely in terms of sensory load, absolutely
20:17
heightened. I just found that yesterday at
20:19
the shopping centre. And so anyone who's been to the
20:21
shopping centre at Christmas time, it's just the Christmas
20:24
music blaring, so many people talking and yelling and it's a
20:29
lot, It's a lot. So that's just in a shopping
20:33
centre that's not even in other contexts like school classrooms
20:36
or other settings. So we can find too in that
20:41
family space. If we're talking about that
20:43
family unit, often times our families are experiencing that
20:46
financial stress. There is certainly challenges, I
20:51
guess around if this is say the first year that you're having
20:57
Christmas as a separated family. So it's not necessarily that the
21:00
separation has just occurred. It's it's happened maybe
21:03
sometime during the year. And now we are navigating our
21:06
first Christmas apart. So families under strain,
21:11
families feeling that stress, they're being potentially A
21:14
grief and loss around that too, that they're feeling that
21:18
difference and that challenge. Certainly our kids will absorb
21:22
that. They won't necessarily talk
21:24
about it. They won't show any obvious
21:26
signs of them understanding, but on an, excuse me, on an
21:30
unconscious level, they definitely will.
21:34
And I think we as therapists are holding certainly more intensity
21:39
as kids are trying to process upcoming events, things that are
21:43
going to be happening in their lives over Christmas, New Year.
21:46
So there's a, there's a lot happening.
21:48
One of my clients I was chatting to over the last week and
21:53
explained that I would be on break.
21:57
And I was saying to this client, you know, we've been hanging out
22:00
for so long. And I was just, it really was a
22:03
very different session to a normal child centre play therapy
22:05
session. I really want to caveat that I
22:07
found my last play therapy sessions for the year was really
22:10
about connection and attunement and Co regulation as opposed to
22:14
making sure I was saying exactly right tracking, reflecting
22:17
feelings and limit setting. I, I certainly, you know, kept
22:20
the space with boundaries and safety and, and, and emotional
22:24
attunement and all of those good things.
22:26
But I made a point of just acknowledging that it was our
22:29
last session for the year and that we would be having a four
22:32
week break. So we know we do that with
22:33
endings. This is obviously a little bit
22:35
different because I will be seeing them all again in the new
22:38
year. So it's, it's not an ending as
22:40
such, It's a pause. It's a break that we're having
22:44
for Christmas. And I was sharing that with one
22:48
of my long, long term clients and making a joke around, well,
22:53
you know, if you if you feel like after this break, you're
22:56
doing really well and you don't need to come back.
22:58
And this client was like, Oh no, I'll be back.
23:02
And I was like, I knew you'd say that.
23:05
So for many of our clients, we're going to talk about this
23:09
break at the end, but I think it's really interesting how
23:14
clients respond to it and what that means in terms of how
23:19
they're travelling at the moment before you go on that break.
23:21
So it really gave me really interesting insight.
23:24
OK, I want to go into the first five things every play therapist
23:27
should know. And then there will be a 2
23:30
parter. We will release this, the other
23:32
part of this episode the following week just before
23:34
Christmas. So let's talk a little bit about
23:36
our clients. So the first thing, Christmas
23:38
can be triggering even for happy families.
23:44
Why do I say this? Why do I say this?
23:47
So we can have experiences at Christmas time.
23:52
That's certainly when we talk about play therapy and child
23:56
centre play therapy. You guys know so much of that
23:59
work is in that unconscious space.
24:01
What am I talking about in terms of that unconscious space?
24:04
I'm talking about the first five years of life and that
24:07
downloading of that programme of their understanding of
24:10
relationships with others as per Doctor Bruce Lipton's research.
24:13
So with that in mind, there is the potential, if there has not
24:19
been great experiences around Christmas, that that can be
24:23
triggering unconsciously for some of our kids and families,
24:26
children of all ages, you guys, I'm not just talking about our
24:29
clients, but children of all ages.
24:31
So we're keeping that in mind. It doesn't necessarily mean if
24:35
it's a happy holiday setting that it doesn't help fix, I
24:41
guess, any internal distress that the child might be
24:44
experiencing as well. So just because we put a label
24:47
on it and say, you know, Merry Christmas doesn't negate
24:52
feelings they already have that they are trying to process and
24:55
work through. So the holidays don't help those
24:57
feelings or those experiences to just be paused there.
25:01
Can be I'm just thinking. Of examples in my mind, and I
25:04
actually can't think of any off the top of my head, where we
25:07
have expectations for children to be good or to be grateful.
25:12
I think that's definitely relevant.
25:13
I think that's definitely the case.
25:16
I think that it's important for us to be recognising that for
25:21
some of our kids, they are trying to put on a brave face
25:24
and trying to do the best by their families, but they're also
25:27
struggling. So that's really hard when we're
25:29
then asking them to be good or to be grateful or to be well
25:33
behaved during this time. Grief and loss often surfaces
25:37
most strongly during this time. So it may not even necessarily
25:41
be about Christmas specifically, but if this time of year
25:46
elicits, I guess, feelings of grief and loss, if there has
25:50
been, say, a family member or family friend who's passed
25:52
during this time, not necessarily on Christmas Day,
25:55
but around this time period, that can be really hard if
25:58
there's those kind of memories around this time that trigger
26:01
that response. We avoid assuming safety based
26:05
on appearances. So we want to make sure that
26:10
kids are feeling that connection from an emotional attachment
26:13
point of view and making sure that we're helping to support
26:18
parents to understand that as well.
26:21
This can mean, you know, certainly in relation to
26:24
personal boundaries as well, when we're catching up with
26:28
family and friends that we may not have caught up with for a
26:31
while or that potentially kids may not feel a sense of a
26:36
relationship or connection with. Making sure that just because
26:40
they appear like lovely people, that we're also still
26:42
maintaining that safety for our kids and following their cues is
26:47
really important. And, and certainly as play
26:51
therapists in the playroom, making sure that we are offering
26:55
a space for curiosity, not necessarily, you know, Christmas
27:00
cheer. So I know in terms of our
27:04
practise, although we love, we've got up a Christmas tree
27:08
because I do, I really love Christmas, but I, I also feel
27:12
like it's important to live by our tenants of CCPT as you guys
27:15
know of congruent empathy and unconditional positive regard.
27:18
And so I wouldn't be congruent if I wasn't normalising if our
27:23
families are struggling or tired or just worn out at this
27:28
Christmas period. And so I've actually found when
27:30
I connect with families in the waiting room and I'm kind of
27:33
like, how you doing? And you can imagine what I'm
27:35
like with my clients, right? I absolutely adore all my
27:37
families. But you know, instead of saying,
27:42
yeah, it's Christmas, I'm kind of like, how you doing?
27:45
Are you OK? Because like, and, and the the
27:47
catch phrase from last week's episode that I found I've used
27:50
all this week as well, that was really good is I've been saying
27:54
as a scaling tool to my families, are you surviving or
27:56
thriving? Tell me where you're at because
28:00
it's OK if you're just surviving.
28:02
So giving that space, that safety of space to our families,
28:05
not just our kids, our clients, but our parents as well.
28:08
OK, children, number two children communicates Christmas
28:12
stress through play, not words. So it's a good reminder for us
28:16
and a good reminder if we need to communicate that to parents
28:18
and caregivers as well. What does that mean in the
28:21
playroom? We tend to see an increase in
28:23
chaotic play, either regressive play or aggressive play,
28:27
repetition of themes, a lot of things around control, safety
28:31
and security, abandonment, grief and loss, rescue.
28:35
These are all amped up during this Christmas holiday period as
28:41
a as kind of a response or processing of everything that
28:43
they're going through in this moment.
28:45
So symbolic play can often contradict verbal narratives.
28:50
So we know oftentimes in Childs and play therapy that symbolic
28:54
play is very much their unconscious mind, their
28:57
unconscious world. And so while they might be
29:00
cognitively, verbally saying how happy they are for Christmas,
29:03
but showing us something very different symbolically, it's
29:05
important when listening to that symbolism.
29:08
So keeping that in mind, the emotional expression might spike
29:12
during this time. So I've actually had both and I
29:16
just offer that invitation for reflection now to everyone
29:19
listening who is working in this space.
29:23
You might be seeing either increased levels of aggression
29:27
or almost like a going backwards in terms of regressive
29:33
regression of their presentations.
29:35
So I've had kids that I've actually been a lot more
29:38
withdrawn, but using symbolism to tell me about how overwhelmed
29:42
they're feeling as opposed to other clients who need to
29:47
physically move, who need to expend a lot of energy, who have
29:51
that heightened emotional state. So they can be both.
29:55
And that's completely fine in the playroom.
29:58
It's completely understandable given the context of Christmas
30:02
play is regulation and communication, not defiance.
30:08
Important to remember and trust the process.
30:12
Containment matters more than interpretation.
30:16
Let me say that again. Containment matters more than
30:20
interpretation. So we are holding space for our
30:24
clients at the moment who are having a tough time.
30:26
We know throughout the year they are, but at this time of year,
30:30
there's a different lens that we can look at it through.
30:32
An additional lens, sorry, not a different lens, an additional
30:35
lens to help us understand where they're at #3 You don't need to
30:39
fix Christmas for your clients. You're welcome.
30:43
You're welcome. We definitely at this time of
30:46
year can feel that pressure because often families are
30:49
struggling and we can feel that transference and kind of
30:53
transference of needing to make them feel better or making that
30:56
experience for them better. Ultimately, I always go back to
31:00
locus of control, what's within our circle of influence and
31:02
what's outside. And so for us, this is
31:06
definitely about helping them to be able to cope as opposed to
31:10
fixing it for them over functioning, which can then
31:13
disrupt those therapeutic boundaries.
31:16
Feeling like we need to do more or we don't need to.
31:20
Being present is often enough, being present is often enough.
31:27
Holding disappointment for our clients is part of the CCPT work
31:34
and it's not necessarily something that we need to fix.
31:38
Therapy doesn't need to have a festive overlay, so it's OK if,
31:43
like us, you've just done a tree.
31:45
That's it. That's what we've got this year.
31:47
That's where we're at. That's OK.
31:51
That's actually OK. And regulation and witnessing
31:55
our interventions in CCPT. Regulation and witnessing our
32:02
interventions in CCPT. Love it #4 boundaries matter
32:07
more in December, not less. OK, let's talk about it.
32:11
So increased requests for extra sessions.
32:15
Who's had that? Who's listening?
32:18
Who's had that? I just said at the beginning
32:21
that I'm seeing clients on the last day that we close our
32:24
office. Yep, yes, I am.
32:26
So it's important that once you are closed, once you are
32:31
offline, that you are not doing more appointments, you have that
32:34
boundary in place, that you know your time, work time period over
32:38
Christmas is you know this date, to that date.
32:41
And certainly we will have those increased requests, but there is
32:44
only so much we can do as therapists.
32:46
So maintaining that boundary is important, offering reassurance
32:50
to our families because they'll often be seeking it before the
32:53
break. And I've done a point of
32:57
contacting, emailing all my families to give them the
32:59
appointments for next year. And I've made a point of, you
33:04
know, reassurance of connection, of planning for next year and
33:08
wishing them a Merry Christmas. So, you know, sometimes having
33:12
that ritual or kind of ending to your work year can be helpful
33:18
just to provide them with the information that they need and
33:22
offer them that reassurance before they head into the break
33:26
with you. We have on our voicemails and on
33:30
our out of office replies over the period that we are closed.
33:34
All of those emergency service contact information for or
33:38
families to be able to access while we're closed as well
33:42
because we are not a crisis service, we're not an on call
33:44
service as a private practise. So I encourage you guys to do
33:48
that as well to kind of hold those boundaries of offering
33:51
some alternative contact numbers over the Christmas period
33:55
because I often think, and I think it's quite relevant that
34:01
issues and problems for our families don't just go on a
34:03
pause for two weeks or three weeks while we're away.
34:06
Like they have lives and it's important that they can still
34:09
access support. Therapists attempted to stretch
34:12
themselves. Just this once again, does that
34:17
resonate? I don't know.
34:18
I don't know. We're not going to do that,
34:20
guys. And hold boundaries, clear
34:22
ending, support the nervous system.
34:25
I think we all need it, Excuse me, we all need it.
34:29
We need it as therapist. The clients need it as well to
34:33
have those clear endings. Like I said, I've done my email,
34:36
I've done my documentation to say this is when we're closing,
34:39
this is when we'll be away. So that it helps to support that
34:43
nervous system for all involved. Boundaries model predictability
34:48
during chaos. And I do like that.
34:50
And I do find for clients where there is that high experience of
34:54
anxiety, having countdowns. So I've obviously been doing
34:58
that with my clients to let them know when our sessions will be
35:02
finishing up and when I'll be seeing them in the new year.
35:05
And repeating that to families both in person and in the emails
35:09
so that everyone has that, I guess, notice and are able to
35:16
prepare and have those boundaries in place.
35:18
So it's really important to do that.
35:20
And saying no can be therapeutic, not harmful,
35:23
because it's actually really important that we hold those
35:25
boundaries with the clients that we work with.
35:27
All right, last one. And then I promised this was
35:30
going to be a short episode and we're up to 35 minutes.
35:32
Yay for us. This has not happened.
35:35
Quick episode. OK #5 You are allowed to be a
35:38
human with feelings about Christmas.
35:42
Therapists bring their own Christmas history into the CCPT
35:46
playroom. We all do.
35:50
We all have our experiences that, even to our best efforts,
35:57
might sneak in. What does that mean?
36:00
So grief, stress, and ambivalence are common.
36:06
And if any any of those are part of your experience, you are not
36:11
alone. So if you're working alone right
36:14
now, this is your reassurance that you are human too.
36:18
We all go through this human experience together.
36:22
And sometimes even for us as therapists, the Christmas period
36:26
can be really hard. So what does that also mean?
36:29
That sometimes when we're talking about this
36:31
psychodynamically, we might also see counter transference show
36:35
up. So again, if you're noticing
36:38
that, take a minute to ground yourself, do a quick breathing
36:43
exercise, go outside, get some fresh air, have a snack, have a
36:49
drink, go to the toilet, take a little break between sessions
36:54
and make sure that you're looking after yourself and
36:56
pacing yourself through this next little bit.
36:58
Awareness protects the therapeutic relationship.
37:02
So if we have an idea of how this period feels for us, we can
37:08
then honour those feelings, acknowledge those feelings, and
37:13
still then be able to be present for our clients, which is the
37:16
most important thing in CCPT. So you don't need to resolve
37:20
your feelings as a therapist to be effective.
37:24
And I think that that was my point earlier when I was talking
37:27
about how I've been checking in with parents in the waiting room
37:29
kind of over the last couple of weeks and sort of saying, are
37:32
you surviving or thriving? Because we all have our
37:36
different experiences. And some people might be having
37:39
some play therapist listening right now.
37:40
CCPT practitioners might be saying, I'm having a great time.
37:43
I'm so excited. This is great.
37:45
And I am so, so happy for you, like truly.
37:47
And you are my goal for this time next year.
37:50
I swear to God, I'm going to have my life together.
37:52
And next year I'm going to be like, so Zen at Christmas time.
37:55
But if it's not, and if you like me and you're still doing
37:58
Christmas shopping on the 13th of December, I think that that
38:02
authenticity helps to normalise those experiences when we
38:07
acknowledge that as part of our check insurance with our parents
38:10
to say you are not alone. So many families are struggling
38:14
right now. It's a hectic time of year.
38:17
So you don't need to necessarily have the answers and have
38:20
yourself completely fixed and resolved in order to support
38:23
your clients and support and supervision matters.
38:26
I have supervision next week just before Christmas because I
38:30
do, I want to. And actually, I had my other
38:32
clinical super, so I've got to, I have another clinical
38:35
supervisor the beginning of this week.
38:36
Oh my God. And yes, you can't do it without
38:39
them. You can't do it without them.
38:41
So mine is pretty much weekly, my supervision and I think that
38:45
that's important. If you have a chance to connect
38:47
with your supervisor before you go on leave or before you close
38:50
your practise, great. Otherwise, make sure you've got
38:53
something scheduled in for when you come back so that you can
38:57
get into that right sort of head space and frame of mind to start
39:02
back your work as well. So this has been Part 1.
39:06
It's almost 38 minutes, you guys, I'm going to wrap myself
39:09
up. I'm going to wrap myself up
39:11
because we will have Part 2 of this episode next week.
39:14
And that will be tailored to looking at us as play
39:19
therapists, as CPT practitioners, how we can
39:22
support ourselves just before Christmas.
39:24
So that will be Part 2 next week.
39:26
I just want to acknowledge the emotional labour of holding
39:32
others and they're holding space for them at the moment that
39:37
everyone of you listening, I know is doing an incredible job.
39:41
So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for showing up, for
39:45
using Child Centre Play therapy, for offering a safe space for
39:49
kids to just be themselves, to tell their story in their way,
39:52
in their time. And I'm so proud of each of you
39:56
for holding that CCPT modality and offering that to your
40:01
clients during this really busy time.
40:03
So go well, have a great week ahead or rest of your week
40:09
whenever you are listening to this.
40:11
Look after yourselves and each other.
40:12
And I will be back for Part 2 next week before we wrap things
40:16
up for the end of the year of our first year of our podcast.
40:19
So thank you for listening along.
40:21
Thank you so much for your support.
40:23
Check us out on socials, on Instagram and Facebook, the Play
40:28
Therapy Circle podcast. We would love to hear from you.
40:30
So I will catch you guys again next week.
40:33
Bye. Thank you so much for being here
40:39
for another. Episode of the play.
40:40
Therapy Circle. If anything resonated with you
40:43
today, I'd love it if you could. Follow the.
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Podcast share it with a colleague or leave a short
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review. It really helps others find our
40:51
circle and if you have a topic or question you'd.
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Love me to explore. I'd love to hear from you.
40:57
This space is for you and I want it to feel like a conversation.
41:02
Until next time. Take care of yourself.
41:05
And remember, you belong here.