Latest / Reformed Thinking / The Missionary’s First Flock: His Own Family
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Reformed thinking. It's it's really good to have
- 0:02you with us again as we as we open up some pretty heavy texts
- 0:06and try to make sense of the Christian life today, we are
- 0:09going to try and dismantle a picture that I think most of us,
- 0:14and I mean even those of us who've been in the church for
- 0:16decades have carried around in our heads for a long time.
- 0:19It's that mental image of the missionary as a spiritual
- 0:23superhero. Yeah, the solitary figure on the
- 0:25ridgeline looking out over a lost continent.
- 0:28Right, the absolute giant of the faith.
- 0:31We imagine them, you know, battling darkness, preaching to
- 0:34thousands and some jungle clearing, planting 3 churches
- 0:37before breakfast. And never breaking a sweat.
- 0:39Exactly. Never breaking a sweat.
- 0:41We tend to think their primary qualification is their seminary
- 0:43degree, or maybe their linguistic ability, you know, to
- 0:47speak fluent Mandarin or Swahili, or just their sheer raw
- 0:51boldness. But the source material we are
- 0:54looking at today argues that we've completely missed mark.
- 0:57We've missed it by a very wide margin.
- 1:00What if I told you that the primary qualification for a
- 1:03missionary and the primary tool for their ministry is not
- 1:07happening on a stage or street corner or even in a pulpit?
- 1:11It's. Happening at the dinner table.
- 1:12It's happening within the four walls of their own home.
- 1:15We're doing a deep dive today into a really fascinating text
- 1:19titled Biblical Missions, Principles, Priorities, and
- 1:23Practices. We're specifically focusing on
- 1:26the contributions from Mark Tatlock, Chris Burnett, and
- 1:29others, all about the missionary family.
- 1:32And the central tension we really need to unpack is this.
- 1:36We often treat the missionary family as just the support
- 1:39system for the real work. You know the wife and kids are
- 1:42just the baggage train for the husband's ministry.
- 1:44Which is just a tragic reductionism, a tragic way to
- 1:47see it. But this text argues that the
- 1:49family is the front line of the Gospel demonstration.
- 1:52It's a massive shift in perspective, and since we're
- 1:55framing this through Reformed thinking, we have to start with
- 1:59the text. We always have to start with the
- 2:00text. If you look at the Great
- 2:02Commission in Matthew 28, we we often rush to the go and make
- 2:06disciples part. We love the action verbs, but
- 2:09from a Reformed theological perspective, we have to look at
- 2:11the whole council of God. You just can't separate the
- 2:14command to go from the qualifications of the one who is
- 2:16going. And those qualifications are
- 2:18found where. Primarily in the pastoral
- 2:21epistles, so First Timothy 3 and Titus.
- 2:23One. Paul is incredibly clear here
- 2:26when he's laying out the qualifications for an elder,
- 2:28which is the biblical standard for a missionary pastor.
- 2:31He asked this rhetorical question in verse 5.
- 2:34If a man does not know how to manage his own household, how
- 2:37will he take care of the Church of God?
- 2:39It's a rhetorical question, but it has a terrifying answer.
- 2:42The answer is he can't. It's an impossibility.
- 2:45So the mission of this deep dive is to understand that
- 2:48connection. We're not just talking about
- 2:50parenting tips for expats. We are looking at the biblical
- 2:53necessity of order in the home, how marriage and parenting are
- 2:56actually evangelistic tools. And we have a really gripping
- 2:59case study on cultural battles in Columbia.
- 3:02Plus, we'll look at the gritty reality of the struggles these
- 3:05families face. And we really need to be honest
- 3:07about those struggles. We do no on any favors by
- 3:10pretending they don't exist. Absolutely not.
- 3:12So let's get right into the theological foundation.
- 3:15One of the contributors, Mark Borisuk, he introduces this
- 3:19concept of congruity and sounds a bit technical.
- 3:22Break that down for us. What's he actually saying?
- 3:24Yeah, it does sound a bit academic, but the idea is
- 3:28actually pretty simple. Congruity is essentially the
- 3:31state of being in harmony or agreement.
- 3:33It just means the pieces fit together.
- 3:35OK, so Borisic is arguing that there cannot be a disconnect or
- 3:40an incongruity between the disciple making a man does
- 3:42outside his home and the disciple making he does inside
- 3:45his home. So you can't be Doctor Jekyll in
- 3:49the pulpit and Mr. Hyde at the breakfast.
- 3:51Table precisely. You cannot be a great evangelist
- 3:53to the nations and a stranger to your own children.
- 3:56Porosuk argues that faithfulness in the home is a prerequisite.
- 4:00It is not an optional bonus for the Super spiritual.
- 4:03It's the entry ticket. That's a great way to put it.
- 4:05It is the entry ticket. If you fail at the first level
- 4:08of discipleship, your wife and your children, you are
- 4:11disqualified from the second level, which is the Church and
- 4:13the lost. That really challenges the idea
- 4:15that ministry is what happens when you leave the house.
- 4:18I think a lot of guys, especially, you know, driven
- 4:21Type A guys, view the home as the place they go to recharge so
- 4:25they can go do the real work. And that is a fatal error.
- 4:28The home is not the refueling station, it's the proving
- 4:30ground. He points to First Timothy 3.45
- 4:34and Titus 1.6 as we just mentioned.
- 4:37But what makes this argument so compelling in the text is the
- 4:39discussion on order versus confusion.
- 4:42This takes us to the very nature of God Himself. 1st Corinthians
- 4:4514.33. For God is not a God of
- 4:48confusion, but of peace. In contrast, you have James
- 4:513.16, which tells us that word jealousy and selfish ambition
- 4:54exist. There is disorder and every evil
- 4:56thing. So the default is chaos.
- 4:58The default is chaos. We live in a sin cursed world
- 5:01and because of the fall, the natural trajectory of
- 5:03everything, relationships, institutions, families is
- 5:06towards chaos. It's like spiritual entropy.
- 5:09If you leave it alone, it just falls apart.
- 5:11That is exactly right, and the argument here is that God
- 5:14designed specific roles in the family, husband, wife, children
- 5:19specifically to bring stability and order to that chaos and this
- 5:24brings glory to him because it reflects His nature.
- 5:26A chaotic home lies about God's character, and ordered home
- 5:30speaks the truth about who God is.
- 5:33But here's the kicker, and this is something Borissook notes
- 5:35that I think every aspiring missionary and honestly every
- 5:39Christian needs to hear. He says that going to the
- 5:42mission field does not fix your family problems.
- 5:45In fact, he uses a very specific analogy.
- 5:47He says the mission field functions like fertilizer for
- 5:50sin it. Is such a vivid image, isn't?
- 5:52It it is because usually we think of the mission field as
- 5:55this sanctifying place. You think, oh, we'll move to a
- 5:57new country, we'll be serving God 24/7, we'll be sacrificing,
- 6:00and all our petty arguments will just vanish because we're on a
- 6:03holy mission? We romanticize the geography.
- 6:06We think a change in longitude changes the heart.
- 6:09But Boris 6 says no. The pressure of the culture, the
- 6:12language barrier, the isolation, the spiritual warfare.
- 6:16It is like pouring miracle grow on your character flaws.
- 6:20So if you have a little weed of impatience in America.
- 6:22In the mission field, that weed becomes a Redwood tree.
- 6:25If there are cracks in the foundation of your marriage in
- 6:27your home country, they will become canyons on the mission
- 6:30field. The sinful nature chafes against
- 6:33God's defined rules, naturally. So if a husband is prone to
- 6:37passivity, you know, just checking out and letting his
- 6:39wife run things, the stress of the field will make him withdraw
- 6:43even further. If a wife is prone to usurping
- 6:46authority or being anxious, the field will amplify that anxiety
- 6:50to a breaking point. That's why this So what here is
- 6:52so critical. The distinct roles in the family
- 6:55are designed by God to display his glory to a watching world.
- 6:59If the family is in chaos, the message of the gospel is
- 7:02obscured. You can preach Jesus brings
- 7:04peace, but if your home is a war zone, nobody's listening.
- 7:08The medium is the message. You cannot preach order from a
- 7:10platform of chaos. Let's talk about those roles
- 7:13because the source material gets very specific about the
- 7:15missionary marriage is a living picture.
- 7:18It breaks it down into the husband's role and the wife's
- 7:20role. And I want to start with the
- 7:22husband because the text uses words like leadership and
- 7:26headship, which, well, they can be trigger words in our modern
- 7:29culture. They can be we are allergic to
- 7:31authority in the West, but we have to look at how Scripture
- 7:34defines them, not how modern culture caricatures them.
- 7:37The text points to Ephesians 5.2533 and headship is not
- 7:42defined as tyranny. It's not being the boss who
- 7:45barks orders from the recliner. Get me a sandwich, woman.
- 7:48That kind of thing. No, no, that is a complete
- 7:50distortion. Biblical headship is defined as
- 7:53leading by loving and serving. The standard is incredibly high.
- 7:56The husband must emulate Christ, giving himself up for the
- 7:59Church. So it's the opposite of a power
- 8:01trip. It's a death sentence to your
- 8:02own ego. That is a good way to put it.
- 8:05Think about the sacrifice involved in moving to the field.
- 8:08Often the husband is the one driving the vision.
- 8:10He feels the call, he says. God has called us to this
- 8:14unreached people group. But the text highlights that
- 8:18this often requires him to sacrifice his own professional
- 8:21goals, or maybe even other ministry desires to ensure his
- 8:23wife finds fulfillment there. That is a key nuance because he
- 8:28might be fulfilled. He's out preaching and doing the
- 8:31work. He's the hero in his own story.
- 8:33But if she's at home, struggling with the language, feeling
- 8:36isolated and dealing with plumbing that doesn't work, he
- 8:39is failing. If he is winning at ministry but
- 8:42his wife is withering, he is losing and that connects to
- 8:45first Peter 3.7, which is a verse that should make every
- 8:48husband tremble. Does husbands must live with
- 8:51their wives in an understanding way, showing honor to them as
- 8:54the weaker vessel, Meaning, you know, usually physically minker
- 8:57or more vulnerable in that context, since there airs with
- 9:00you the grace of life and then comes the consequence.
- 9:03So that your prayers will not be hindered.
- 9:05Let's just sit with that for a second.
- 9:07That is terrifying. It really is.
- 9:09I mean, we talk about spiritual warfare a lot in missions.
- 9:12We talk about binding spirits and praying for breakthroughs.
- 9:15But the implication here is that if a missionary's marriage is
- 9:18out of order, if he's not loving, honoring and
- 9:20understanding his wife, his communication with God is
- 9:24blocked. Imagine being on the front
- 9:26lines. You're in a hostile region,
- 9:28you're engaging in spiritual warfare, trying to reach a
- 9:31localized people group, and your supply line to headquarters is
- 9:35cut off not because of the enemy, but because you are harsh
- 9:38with your wife at breakfast. It renders the missionary
- 9:41powerless. A hindered fellowship with his
- 9:43wife results in a hindered fellowship with God.
- 9:46You cannot bypass the second greatest commandment to love
- 9:49your neighbor and your wife is your nearest neighbor to fulfill
- 9:52the Great Commission. OK, now let's look at the wife's
- 9:54role. The text references Ephesians 5
- 9:57and first Peter 3 regarding submission, and again we need to
- 10:01define this carefully because submission is another one of
- 10:04those words that makes people bristle.
- 10:05Yes, and again, we have to define this biblically, not
- 10:08culturally. The source describes submission
- 10:10as a blessed position that fits God's design.
- 10:14It's not about inferiority. It's not about silence.
- 10:17It is about function and order. It pictures the church's
- 10:20submission to Christ. So when a missionary wife honors
- 10:23her husband and follows his lead, she is preaching a sermon.
- 10:27She is visualizing the theology. She is showing the world how the
- 10:32church relates to Jesus. If she is constantly undermining
- 10:34Him, mocking Him, or fighting for control, she is preaching a
- 10:38false gospel that the church rebels against Christ.
- 10:41And this is not just theoretical theology.
- 10:43We have a case study in the text that proves how powerful this
- 10:46is, the story of Victor. This was one of the most moving
- 10:50parts of the source material for me.
- 10:51It is a beautiful story. Victor was a Chinese man.
- 10:54He was an atheist, deeply rooted in the communist system, and he
- 10:58was antagonistic toward religion.
- 11:00He had been educated to believe that religion was the opium of
- 11:03the masses, just a crutch for the weak and uneducated.
- 11:06So he was not looking for God. He wasn't walking into a church
- 11:09asking how do I get saved? Not at all.
- 11:11He was deeply skeptical, but he started attending a Bible study
- 11:15led by the author Mark Borisuk. And do you know what broke down
- 11:19his walls? It wasn't some ontological
- 11:21argument for the existence of God.
- 11:22It wasn't archaeological evidence for the resurrection.
- 11:25It was the aroma. The aroma of marital love.
- 11:28Victor grew up in a home where his parents fought constantly.
- 11:31It was a chaotic, angry environment.
- 11:34He believed marriage was, as he put it, the graveyard of love.
- 11:38He thought that once you get married, happiness just dies.
- 11:41Wow, that's a cynical worldview. It is, but it was his reality.
- 11:45But when he spent time in the missionaries home, he saw
- 11:48something that did not fit his worldview.
- 11:50He saw husband and wife who genuinely loved each other.
- 11:52He saw husband serving his wife. He saw children who are
- 11:55respectful and happy, not just compliant out of fear.
- 11:58That is incredible. He was just watching the family
- 12:01interactions and that was the apologetic.
- 12:03It was, he said. Later I saw parents who didn't
- 12:05fight constantly and children who are respectful.
- 12:09The imperfect but faithful family was the evidence that
- 12:12this God they talked about actually made a difference in
- 12:14real life. It opened the door for the
- 12:17gospel. He realized if their God can do
- 12:20this, if he can bring keys where I only know war, then maybe he
- 12:24is real. It really validates the premise
- 12:26of this whole deep dive. The home is the frontline.
- 12:30The sermon wasn't the words Borsuch spoke.
- 12:32It was the life he lived in his living room.
- 12:34Which is why the order we discussed earlier is so vital.
- 12:37Chaos pushes people away. Divine order draws them in.
- 12:40Speaking of the living room, let's transition to parenting on
- 12:43the field. Because if marriage is the
- 12:45picture of Christ in the church, parenting is often the picture
- 12:48of the Father and his children. And the text suggests that
- 12:51parenting on the mission field is, well, it's complicated.
- 12:54To say the least, just like with marriage, the move to a foreign
- 12:57culture puts immense pressure on parenting.
- 13:00The text cites Proverbs 22.15. Folly is bound up in the heart
- 13:04of a child. Which means again, moving to a
- 13:07new country does not change the kids heart.
- 13:09Right. There's this myth that
- 13:11missionary kids, MKS are automatically little angels.
- 13:14But a change in geography does not equal a change in nature.
- 13:18If a child is rebellious in America, they will be rebellious
- 13:21in Asia or Africa, perhaps even more so because of the stress.
- 13:24The stress of transition, losing their friends, different food, a
- 13:27different language. And the source material
- 13:29emphasizes that discipline is evangelistic.
- 13:32Yeah, this is a key insight. How so?
- 13:35I think we often think of discipline as just behavior
- 13:37modification. You know, stop hitting your
- 13:39sister or be quiet while daddy is on a Zoom call.
- 13:43That's a secular view of discipline.
- 13:44It's about convenience and compliance.
- 13:47A biblical view, according to the source, connects discipline
- 13:49directly to the gospel. 1st, the text reminds us that a man is
- 13:53disqualified from ministry if he is pugnacious or prone to anger.
- 13:56That's from First Timothy 3.3. So discipline can never be done
- 14:00in anger. That is a high bar, especially
- 14:02when you're jet lagged and stressed.
- 14:04It is the highest bar, but the methodology is this discipline
- 14:09followed by instruction. That's from Ephesians 6.4.
- 14:13You discipline the child to show them the seriousness of sin,
- 14:16that actions have consequences, But then you instruct them.
- 14:19You show them that they cannot meet God's holy standard on
- 14:23their own. So you don't just say be better,
- 14:25you say you sinned and you can't fix it yourself.
- 14:28Exactly. You point out their inability.
- 14:30You hit your sister because there is anger in your heart and
- 14:33you can't scrub that spot out. And that points them to the only
- 14:36one who can. Jesus 2nd Corinthians 5.21 The
- 14:40cycle of discipline and instruction is meant to lead the
- 14:43child to the cross. It shows them their need for a
- 14:46Savior. That is why parenting is
- 14:48evangelism. Every time you discipline, you
- 14:51are preaching the gospel to your child.
- 14:52So it's not just about managing behaviors of the missionary
- 14:55doesn't look bad, it's about saving the child's soul.
- 14:58Precisely, And the source also talks about the importance of
- 15:00preparation and unity before even leaving for the field.
- 15:04It's not just the parents dragging the kids along on an
- 15:06adventure they didn't ask for. No, the whole family needs to be
- 15:09on the same page. Borzuk talks about involving the
- 15:12children in prayer, learning the language together.
- 15:15And this is crucial, having fun. Fun seems so frivolous when
- 15:20you're talking about saving souls.
- 15:22It's not frivolous, it's essential for survival.
- 15:25He mentions biking to the Olympic Park in Beijing.
- 15:27As a family, you have to build that bond.
- 15:29You have to create memories that are positive so the child
- 15:32doesn't just remember the mission field as a place of
- 15:35deprivation and duty. Including them in the ministry,
- 15:37right? Not just parking them in front
- 15:39of a screen while the adults talk.
- 15:41Yes, his daughters worked at a local fruit stand to build
- 15:44relationships. They played games with the Bible
- 15:46study students. When the children see themselves
- 15:48as participants in the mission rather than victims of their
- 15:51parents calling, it changes everything.
- 15:54They become fellow workers. That brings us to a very
- 15:57different context. We've been talking a bit about
- 15:59China with Victor, but the source material shifts gears to
- 16:03a section by Santiago Armel about Colombia, and this is
- 16:07where we see the family engaged in what I would call cultural
- 16:10warfare. This is a gripping section.
- 16:13Armel paints a vivid picture of the context in Colombia.
- 16:16He talks about the spiritual awakening there, which is
- 16:18beautiful. The church is growing, but he
- 16:20contrasts it with the dark history of the narco culture.
- 16:25The statistics are staggering. I have them here. 504,100 acres
- 16:29of coca leaf in 2021 and 1400 metric tons of cocaine produced.
- 16:35That is an industrial scale of ice.
- 16:37It is. And that level of drug
- 16:39production creates a culture. It is not just an economic
- 16:42statistic. It shapes the soul of a nation.
- 16:44He calls it the narco culture. It produces a society obsessed
- 16:48with easy money, debauched lifestyles and viewing women as
- 16:52trophies. It's a culture where the wisest
- 16:54person, the vivo, is the one who can skirt the law, cheat the
- 16:57system and get rich quick. So if you're a Christian family
- 17:00living in the middle of that, you're swimming upstream against
- 17:03a raging river, how do you survive and minister in that
- 17:06environment? Our mail outlines 3 specific
- 17:09fronts where the family has to fight.
- 17:10This is where the rubber meets the road.
- 17:12Let's go through them. The first front is corruption
- 17:14and lies. In that culture, there's a norm
- 17:18that says if you can evade the fare on public transport, you're
- 17:21smart. If you can cheat on your taxes
- 17:23or bribe A policeman, you're wise.
- 17:25It's institutionalized dishonesty.
- 17:27Exactly so. The biblical counter strike is a
- 17:30radical commitment to truth. The missionary father must keep
- 17:33his word, no matter how small. If he says he'll be somewhere
- 17:37AT20 PM, he is there at 2.0 PM. If he owes a penny, he pays the
- 17:42penny. This reflects God, who is truth.
- 17:45In a culture of lies, a man of integrity stands out like a
- 17:48lighthouse. It confuses people and then it
- 17:50intrigues them. Why did you pay that fare?
- 17:53Nobody was watching. Because my God watches it is a
- 17:55powerful testimony. The second front he mentions is
- 17:58physical vanity and this was eye opening.
- 18:00I didn't realize Columbia was such a hub for.
- 18:02This. Oh it's massive.
- 18:03Medical tourism and plastic surgery are huge industries
- 18:06there, specifically in cities like Medellin and Cali.
- 18:09The narco aesthetic has created this pressure on women to meet
- 18:12very specific voluptuous standards.
- 18:15It's a culture that worships the body.
- 18:17So the missionary family has to fight that, especially if they
- 18:19have daughters. They fight it by valuing the
- 18:22imabo day, the image of God and inner beauty.
- 18:25As first Peter 3 describes, the missionary couple has to have
- 18:29hard conversations. Are we inadvertently promoting
- 18:32vanity? How do we talk about bodies?
- 18:34Are we showing that we value godliness over appearance
- 18:38because the culture is screaming the opposite at their children
- 18:41every day? Your value is your shape.
- 18:43The home must be the place where they hear the truth.
- 18:46Your value is your Creator. And the third front is
- 18:49covetousness or easy money. The new rich mentality everyone
- 18:54wants the narco lifestyle. Wealth without work.
- 18:57The lucky break it. Reminds me of the prosperity
- 18:58gospel actually. There is a lot of overlap.
- 19:01The biblical counter is industry and hard work.
- 19:04The pastor must show that ministry is actually work.
- 19:06It's not a scam. He laborers in preaching.
- 19:09He laborers in counseling. He shows that work is a blessing
- 19:12from God, a creation mandate, not a curse to be avoided by
- 19:15finding a bag of cash. He models 1st Thessalonians 2
- 19:18working with his hands so as not to be a burden.
- 19:20It really shows that the family lifestyle is a theological
- 19:23statement. In China, the ordered loving
- 19:26home refutes the idea that religion is for the weak.
- 19:30In Colombia, the honest, hard working, modest family refutes
- 19:35the narco culture of vanity and corruption.
- 19:37That is the synthesis of this entire deep dive.
- 19:41The family is not just living in the culture, they are living
- 19:44against the sinful patterns of the culture to show a better
- 19:46way. They are a counterculture of the
- 19:49Kingdom. But doing that, it's hard, and
- 19:51it it takes a toll. We can't paint a rosy picture
- 19:54here and pretend that if you just have good theology, you
- 19:56won't suffer. Yeah.
- 19:57The source material includes a report from Chris Burnett based
- 20:00on a meeting of regional directors in March 2023.
- 20:03This is the real world struggle section.
- 20:05This is where we get gritty. These directors oversee hundreds
- 20:08of families across the globe. They know where the bodies are
- 20:11buried, so to speak. They identify the top stress
- 20:13points and marriage struggles were at the very top of the
- 20:16list. And specifically unspoken
- 20:18problems. That is the danger.
- 20:20Think about the isolation, who you talk to.
- 20:22If you are the missionary, you're supposed to be the
- 20:25spiritual giant. You can't tell your supporters
- 20:27back home, hey, we are on the brink of divorce because you
- 20:31might lose your funding. It's the pedestal trap.
- 20:33Right. And you can't tell the locals
- 20:35because you're supposed to be mentoring them.
- 20:37You can't bleed in front of the sheep.
- 20:39So you suffer in silence. Often, yes, the report
- 20:43highlights the desperate need for older female mentors for
- 20:46young wives and accountability for husbands.
- 20:48And then there's workaholism. Because the needs are so great,
- 20:52people are dying without Christ, The husband feels justified in
- 20:55neglecting his family. I'm doing the Lord's work, he
- 20:59says. And sounds so noble.
- 21:00But it is a deception. The text cites First Timothy
- 21:035.8. If you fail to provide for your
- 21:05own household, you have denied the faith and are worse than an
- 21:09unbeliever. And providing is not just money.
- 21:11It's not just putting rice on the table.
- 21:13It is emotional presence. It is spiritual leadership.
- 21:16If you win the city but lose your children, you have failed
- 21:20the biblical mandate. They also talked about
- 21:22children's struggles, and I appreciated the distinction they
- 21:25made between sin and developmental disorders.
- 21:27That is a crucial distinction. In the past, maybe the church
- 21:31was too quick to label everything as rebellion.
- 21:33But learning disabilities, dyslexia, ADHD, autism are not
- 21:37sin. They are physical, neurological
- 21:40realities. But on the mission field, you
- 21:42don't have the Ieps, you don't have the specialists, you.
- 21:45Often lack the resources completely.
- 21:47You're in a village where they don't even have a word for
- 21:49autism. Parents are left to handle
- 21:52complex developmental issues largely on their own, often
- 21:55while homeschooling. It is an immense pressure
- 21:57cooker. And then there's the issue of
- 21:59aging parents. This one hits hard for anyone
- 22:02living away from home, but for a missionary, it's compounded.
- 22:05The guilt is real. You're in South America and your
- 22:08mom in Ohio is getting dementia. Your siblings are there, taking
- 22:12care of her, changing the diapers, driving her to
- 22:14appointments, and they start to resent you.
- 22:16Why are you playing Hero overseas while we're doing The
- 22:19Dirty work here? Exactly.
- 22:20You're out there saving the world, and we're here saving
- 22:23Mom. It creates family riffs.
- 22:25And biblically, we're called to honor our parents.
- 22:30That doesn't stop when you get a visa.
- 22:31It does not. The text suggests a very
- 22:33practical solution, flexibility and funding.
- 22:37Mission agencies are starting to increase budgets to help
- 22:40missionaries care for their parents financially or to allow
- 22:44for more frequent travel back home.
- 22:46It is a recognition that the command to honor your father and
- 22:49mother is binding even across oceans.
- 22:52One of the most modern struggles they mentioned was isolation,
- 22:55specifically the virtual world trap.
- 22:58This is something missionaries 50 years ago did not deal with.
- 23:01No, this is a new phenomenon. 20 years ago, if you went to the
- 23:04field, you were there. You waited three weeks for a
- 23:06letter. Now you can spend 6 hours a day
- 23:09on Zoom with people back home. You can live your whole life on
- 23:11a screen. Expat Bubble.
- 23:13Exactly. You go to an international
- 23:14church, your kids go to an International School, you talk
- 23:17to your mom on FaceTime every night, and you watch Netflix and
- 23:19English. You can live in a country for 10
- 23:21years and never really touch the local culture.
- 23:24You're physically in Bangkok, but digitally in Boston.
- 23:27And the directors warned that this is a major danger.
- 23:30It prevents deep acculturation. It prevents language fluency.
- 23:35You have to cut the cord and engage the people you are called
- 23:38to serve. You have to be willing to be
- 23:40uncomfortable and disconnected from your home culture to truly
- 23:43Incarnate into the new one. So we've laid out the theology,
- 23:47the roles, the cultural battles and the struggles.
- 23:50It's a heavy load now. What does descending church, the
- 23:53people listening to this who might be back home in the
- 23:55suburbs, do? Lauren Brown contributes a
- 23:58section on the support system. And she grounds it in three John
- 24:016 to 8, which talks about supporting those who go out for
- 24:04the sake of the name. It says we ought to support such
- 24:07people so that we may be fellow workers for the truth.
- 24:10I love that phrase, fellow workers.
- 24:11Even if you stay, you're working with them by supporting them.
- 24:14Exactly. She also mentions Phoebe in
- 24:16Romans 16, a woman who was a Courier and servant who needed
- 24:20support from the church in Rome. The key principle she mentions
- 24:23is God causes the growth from First Corinthians 3.
- 24:26Why is that relevant to support? It relieves the pressure.
- 24:29Missionaries can feel immense pressure to produce results to
- 24:33justify their support letters. We saved 50 souls this month.
- 24:37Return on investment, right? It becomes a sales pitch when
- 24:41the send in church reminds them, hey God causes the growth, you
- 24:44just be faithful. We support you for your
- 24:46faithfulness, not just your numbers.
- 24:48It's a huge weight off their shoulders and allows them to
- 24:51focus on the work rather than the marketing.
- 24:53She gives some very practical tactics for women caring for
- 24:56women, and the first one is simply time.
- 24:59Listening is ministry. We tend to think we need to
- 25:02offer profound advice. We want to fix it.
- 25:06But often the missionary wife just needs someone to listen to
- 25:09her vent about the cockroaches, the heat, the corrupt police and
- 25:12the loneliness without judging her and without giving her three
- 25:15Bible verses to fix her attitude.
- 25:18Yeah. Bearing the burden with her
- 25:19exactly and how we pray matters too.
- 25:21She talks about moving from the generic I'll pray for you to
- 25:25using prayer journals. Yes, tracking specific requests
- 25:28and then tracking the answers. It validates the missionary
- 25:31struggle when you can call them and say hey I've been praying
- 25:35about that visa issue you mentioned 3 weeks ago or that
- 25:38conflict with your neighbor. How is it going that tells them
- 25:41they are not forgotten? It tells them their life matters
- 25:44to you. And I love the idea of video
- 25:46calls that normalize their life. Right.
- 25:48Don't just talk about the ministry stats.
- 25:50Ask to see the kitchen window. Ask to see the kids rooms.
- 25:54Show me what you're cooking. It grounds the relationship in
- 25:56reality. It reminds you that they are
- 25:58real people living in a real place, not just disembodied
- 26:01spirits doing ministry. They're finally caring for the
- 26:04MKS, the missionary kids. They're the third culture kids.
- 26:08They don't fully fit in the host country, but they don't fit in
- 26:10back home either. They're in between.
- 26:13Brown suggests setting up video groups for teens ages 11 and up
- 26:17to connect with peers, Sending birthday cards directly to the
- 26:20kids, making them feel seen because often they feel like
- 26:24invisible baggage attached to their parents calling.
- 26:26It's so practical and yet so vital.
- 26:30So let's bring this all together.
- 26:31We've covered a lot of ground today.
- 26:33We have. If we had to synthesize, the
- 26:35main argument of this deep dive is that the missionary family is
- 26:39a theological statement. Whether they're in China facing
- 26:42atheism or Columbia facing narco culture, the ordered, loving,
- 26:47biblically structured home is a light in the darkness.
- 26:50Absolutely. And I want to apply this to our
- 26:52listeners who are not missionaries.
- 26:54This Reformed thinking is not just for the mission field.
- 26:58Every Christian home is a mission field in microcosm.
- 27:01That is the conviction. Isn't it?
- 27:02The requirements for the elder in First Timothy 3 managing the
- 27:05household well are not just for elders and missionaries, they
- 27:08are the pattern for Christian maturity.
- 27:11If your home is full of chaos, anger and disorder, you hinder
- 27:14your witness to your neighbors just as much as a missionary
- 27:17hinders their witness to the nation.
- 27:19'S you can't export what you don't have.
- 27:20Exactly. So as we wrap up, I want to
- 27:23leave the listeners with a final thought to chew on.
- 27:26Here's the question I would pose based on everything we've
- 27:28discussed. If we believe that the family is
- 27:31God's primary illustration of the gospel, the picture of
- 27:34Christ in the church, is it possible that the greatest
- 27:37hindrance to global missions today is not a lack of funding?
- 27:42Is it possible it's not closed borders or hostile governments?
- 27:46What is it then? Is it possible that the greatest
- 27:48hindrance is a lack of ordered holy marriages in our sending
- 27:52churches? Because we can only export what
- 27:55we are? If our churches are full of
- 27:57broken, chaotic families, then that is what we will export to
- 28:00the nations. And if we can't export healthy
- 28:03Families, what are we actually exporting?
- 28:05That is a sobering thought. We're not just sending
- 28:07individuals. We are sending a culture.
- 28:09We're sending a theology of the home.
- 28:11Precisely so the work of missions starts in your living
- 28:14room tonight. Thank you for joining us on this
- 28:16deep dive into biblical missions.
- 28:18We hope this challenges you to look at your own home, whether
- 28:21you are in the suburbs or the jungle, as the primary place
- 28:24where the gospel is demonstrated.
- 28:27Until next time, keep thinking.