Latest / 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids. / How to Support Foster Care with Special Guest Katie Smith

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How to Support Foster Care with Special Guest Katie Smith · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to another episode of the Five Minute Parenting Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Karen Ferguson, wife, mom, grandmom, and children's book author with a background in K-8 education and a passion for equipping parents to raise confident and God-confident kids.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: In this podcast, we'll cover parenting practices for both a practical view and a biblical view.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Our goal is to help you raise kids with a positive, godly self-image so they can become all they were created to be.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're busy, so we'll keep it short.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Let's take just five minutes and dive in.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Today I have a very special guest on the show, Katie Smith, who'll be sharing her foster care and adoption experience in a three-part series.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Katie is a freelance editor and writer in South Carolina.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: She's an adoption and foster care advocate and handles the marketing for an adoption attorney.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: When Katie isn't working as senior editor for Ambassador International or writing her next book, she's busy homeschooling her three kids, spending time with her family outdoors, or enjoying a good book and a cup of coffee on her porch swing.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Katie is the author of the children's adoption book, Why Did You Choose Me?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: And she loves to share with others the joy she has found as a foster and adoptive mom.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Katie, welcome back to the show.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Third time.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad to have you here because this is just such an important topic.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: I know, as I mentioned before, there are so many kids needing a good home.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think you mentioned, was it half a million?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: In the United States.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I know there's a lot of parents who want to help but just don't know where to begin.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: So you are a great resource for those parents.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so today we're going to be talking about how to support foster care.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: And for those who didn't listen to the first two episodes, I highly recommend it.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: The first one covers Katie's story, which is so inspiring and just a testament to God's faithfulness.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then the second one was about debunking the myths of adoption, which was very insightful.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: But um, Katie, I'm just gonna let you jump right in to share with our listeners.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love talking about foster care.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like you said, there's over half a million kids in the foster care system right now in the United States, and there is a lack of places for them.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, in our in our state alone, there are children who are sleeping in the um social service offices because there isn't even enough homes for them.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: There aren't places for them to go.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel very passionate about this, but I also understand, you know, foster care is not for everyone.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can't everybody cannot be a foster parent for various reasons.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: We were only foster parents for a summer, um, very short time.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: But then during that time, we had 10 foster kids.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so I say I have 13 children, I just three of them live with me, and 10 of them uh actually I know where most of them are.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very fortunate.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I am very happy about that.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, the thing about foster care is it is something that we all should be involved in in some way, shape, or form.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so, of course, my first thing is gonna be if you want to, if you have thought about becoming a foster parent, go take the classes, learn what you can do.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we weren't really sure.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, our our children have some special needs, and we weren't sure if it was gonna be a good fit for them.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: So we did respite and emergency care to kind of dip our toes in.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we had to go to the classes just as if we were going to be full-time foster parents.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So this the process is still the same.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: And and you can start out and say, I'm just going to be respite and emergency care, or you can change that and say, this is for me.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: I want, I want to go all in.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're already licensed either way.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So the process was just, you know, there were um a couple of Saturdays that we had to give up for several hours where we took classes, and then there was the home study inspection, and then the fire marshal came out and he did the um the checking the windows and checking our fire extinguishers and all of that stuff.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And um, it was pretty minimal um steps that we had to go through it.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's background checks and all of that, but that's paperwork.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I I also understand, you know, that not everybody wants to or can't.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know that there are people who care about foster care, but they might have health issues themselves and they're not a good fit, but you can still come along and support foster care.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um whether you are offering babysitting services um for parents and saying, yes, I'm gonna be on the approved list for you guys to go have a date night, or I'm maybe you can't babysit.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe um maybe you offer to take care of meals for them for like every Friday night, you're going to send them a meal, or you're going to give them gift cards because um, you know, suddenly a family, like in our situation, we had three kids, we were allowed up to two more.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So we had five kids all the time.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's expensive.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: You go from three kids to five kids, you suddenly find it harder to go out to eat.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Movies, you know, everything costs money.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, if you are somebody who who wants to be involved with foster care, but you can't have you can't foster yourself, a great way is to support these families financially.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, if you if you can help with their birthday parties, um the one church in our town, they have a lady who um who offers birthday free birthday cakes to be made for uh anybody who is a foster parent, they can just say this is my child's birthday and she'll make their birthday cake free of charge.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um I love that.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good point.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Even having local businesses get involved somehow.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there are foster closets, and I will uh one thing I really tell people, um, because I will hear hear people during spring cleaning say, Oh, we're getting rid of all of our old clothes, so we were gonna go donate it to the foster closet.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do that.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: If these children are already being pulled out of their homes, they're already being pulled out of um their school, they're they don't know, they're being sent to live with strangers, and then they're and a lot of times they show up with trash bags.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, sometimes they just show up on the with the clothes on their backs, and then you're giving them used things.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: These kids need to have the feeling that they that they are special.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you can, if you're gonna donate things, go out and buy them a new outfit, go out and and purchase new backpacks, school supplies, um, you know, all of these things matter when a kid doesn't have anything.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's and you know, I would imagine too.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: I could, and I think our our church in Pacific Northwest did this several times, or even having church groups come together, you know, and collect new items for foster care.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: There's um one group that I like to support, it's called the Forgotten Initiative.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you can look online to see where your representative is.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: There might any there may not be one in your area, but um, they're always looking for somebody who's kind of the go-to person that to receive drop-offs.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to put together, like um we ran an orphan ministry at our former church, we founded it, and we had a um backpack drive, and we just um our church donated backpacks full of supplies, and then we went and we took it to this person, and they knew how to distribute it to the children in the community who were in need.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, working alongside um organizations like that is is very, very important.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, volunteering with them.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, there there are there are a lot of um places that are seeking funds.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in our area right now, there is a a new uh house being built called the Isaiah 117 house.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that is basically the point they're trying to get these kids out of the social workers' offices and into as they're trying to transition them into a foster care home, they're trying to give them a home where they can feel safe and settled.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And they take donations all the time because they want their k these kids to come in and feel especially loved on.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: They want and and these kids are leaving with brand new shoes, and they never dreamed they would have brand new shoes.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: They never dreamed that they would have their own backpack, they never dreamed that they would have their own pillow.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, things that we take for granted um real really matter when you're a kid.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Now you're in South Carolina, I'm in Tennessee.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: I've heard of that organization.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: Are they a nationwide?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: The Isaiah 117.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: They're not nationwide, but I believe their headquarters are in Tennessee.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and they've been making their way down the adding more concern.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, like, and I know that there are more organizations out there who are are um trying to meet the needs of these kids, you know, even um like whatever you do well, think about how you can put that into a foster child situation.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you are really good at tutoring kids, can you maybe go and give some hours to helping these kids as they're transitioning into a new school?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Can you be a part of the big brother, big sister program and walk alongside these children and just be their friend?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um can you bake cakes and make cakes for birthdays?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Can you um, you know, do can you drive, can you offer to be a resource to drive these kids and pick them up from school?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of um foster families have a hard time with that because like my my cousin is a single foster mom, and one of the problems that she has had was how am I going to pick up this girl from school when I still have to work?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, so so being available, and maybe you are a stay-at-home mom and you are there with your kids, and you you can throw the kids in the car and you can say, I will go pick them up and I'll keep them for a couple of hours till you get off of work.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like there are just so many ways that we can be involved and we don't have to to shut down.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I would also extend that to your children.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I I have heard it so many times where people are are, I don't wanna, I don't want my children to be around those kids because they're foster kids, or they there's just this there's a stigma out there that just because a child is in foster care, they're gonna be a problem.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, there are problematic children, they but they're not problems because they themselves did anything wrong.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're probably they're coming from broken situations and they're scared, they're lonely, they don't know how to act, they haven't been taught how to act properly, and they really need people who are willing to be their friends.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, don't make them feel any more strange than they already feel.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: They don't need that in their life, they need normalcy, they need to feel like, hey, I'm a part of this community, it doesn't matter that I came from a broken home, I don't have to to remain broken.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I can I can be whole here, you know, just just um acts of kindness go a really, really long way.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I would say also to like the foster family, if you're gonna foster there there are a lot of um hurdles to to jump over through um dealing with the family, because the point of fostering, um, I've said this before, is not really adoption, it's reunification.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: The point is we want these families to get their lives together and be whole again.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And and we want these children to go back home to their biological family if it's a safe place to be, because that is that is how God created us.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: He created created us to be with our biological family.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so you need to support that.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Don't talk bad about their parents, don't talk bad about their extended family.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: If there is an opportunity to meet with them, then meet with them.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you have to set boundaries, you have to re you have to do things that are safe, but you can create um a safe situation for your child without demolishing what they think of their parents, bashing them, right?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's never a good thing, you know.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: Right, oh yeah, wow.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's really is I mean, ministering in foster care.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it it's really about being the hands and feet of Jesus to young children, to children of all ages, really, who God finds very precious, right?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Who loves God loves.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and what an opportunity for ministry, like you say, with with uh half a million kids in the foster care system in the United States alone.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that is just amazing.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: And and I would just encourage listeners, if you're looking for a way to serve God, you know, pray about it and um start looking into ways that you could use, like like Katie has recommended, you could use your business, you could, you know, um use your time, your talents um just to help these kids because truly, I mean, these kids are the next generation and God loves them and finds them very precious.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: And and like you were pointing out, Katie, it's through no fault of their own where they're at, you know.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: So they need grace.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: But wow, that's that's amazing.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: Those are some really great, great tips.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, do you know by state as far as the requirements?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: So if if say you have a person who's who's a foster care parent and you want to kind of partner with them, it might be a neighbor or someone that you know, are there um strict guidelines as far as your connecting with the family?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you wanted to bring over, you know, if you wanted to bring over presents for a birthday or or um just be available to the family?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, there used to be, but then there was um, I think it's called the Normalcy Act Um that was passed, and uh, I believe it's a federal um act that was passed to allow them to have normal situation to for kids to really start feeling normal, they have to be treated as though they are part of the family.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: So what is allowed for the family should be allowed for the other kids in the home should also be allowed for these kids.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you like whoever your babysitters are, like babysitters don't have to be vetted.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think that it depends on state.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I know, like in South Carolina when we were fostering, we had to, if it was somebody that we were gonna have like take care of them over a week or so, then there were, I think there were some more, maybe it was just a background check that they had to go through.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't have to go through classes, but I do think they had to go through a background check.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: That would be but yeah, but just keeping like the caseworkers usually know.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've actually even found this this is not well known, even with casework.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of caseworkers don't know this, but in the state of South Carolina, I homeschool my kids.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so any foster child who comes in here is also allowed to be homeschooled.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that's state specific on that one, but those are things like you should look into the laws.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: And and that's why I also say join your foster community.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure that you are talking to other parents um who have been a part of it because they will they will know because each state is different.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: It just depends foster care is very um, very, very state specific.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to check the laws of of your state.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's good to know.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this this has just been so inspiring and insightful.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want to again direct our listeners to your website.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: Can you just uh tell them where to go for that?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's katycrussmith.com.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I will have that in the show notes along with a link to your book, uh, why did you choose me?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I yeah, highly recommend they go to your website because you just have that page with a lot of helpful um resources and links that people can can get on and find out more information.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Katie, it's been such a blessing and pleasure to have you here.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: Again, this is just such an important topic.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I just again encourage listeners, if you're thinking about adoption, Katie is a great resource to go to her website.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: If you're thinking about foster care, if you want to be a blessing to those who are serving in foster care, you know, pray about it and um and uh do your do some research, but there are plenty of opportunities out there and it's such an important ministry.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I just am so thankful that you've been here to share your story and your heart and just some really helpful tips uh for us.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything else you'd like our listeners to know?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I just I I want to say if you're if you're even considering it, if it's even a part of your heart at all, step out, even if you're scared to, and just get connected and talk to other families because it's the one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, again, Katie, thank you for being on the show.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: And listeners, thank you for being with us.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, be sure to check out again the show notes for books, links, and resources.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: And join us next week for another episode of the Parenting Podcast.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, have a blessed week.