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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Happiness Hack = Don't Let A Bad Minute Make For a Bad Day · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Emily here, you're listening to five Minute Friday
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: on the show.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: This week has been an emotional week for me.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I won't even front I did something on Wednesday that
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I've been putting off for a very long time, and
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: that is that I went to Spring Fertility here in
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: New York to sum up my stance on where I'm
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: at with whether or not I want to freeze my eggs.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Until basically the last few months, I was pretty steadfast
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: on whatever is meant to happen in my life is
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  Speaker 1: going to happen in my life.
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  Speaker 2: I am in my late thirties.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Now, and I had made the decision for a number
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: of years that eggs reasoning wasn't in my future. And
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: when I was unpacking that with a friend, I kept
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  Speaker 1: coming back to, aside from I believe what is meant
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: to happen in my life will happen, and I don't
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: want to necessarily mess with that, I kept talking about
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: the cost of it, and she looked at me and
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: she said, I know that the cost isn't the thing
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: that's going to hold you back from doing this. What's
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  Speaker 1: really going on here? And the answer was it was fear.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of fear of the unknown. It's fear
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  Speaker 1: of this thought confronting that I'm at this place now
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: that I never expected to be in my life, and
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: that's a difficult thing to do. I don't talk openly
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: about my personal life very often on here, and I
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: feel so content ninety nine percent of the time doing
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  Speaker 1: things on my own.
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  Speaker 2: I love being an independent person.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: I feel very empowered with what I've been able to
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  Speaker 1: do on my own, from my personal life to building
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: a business, and all of that is great. And I
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: find myself in this place a lot lately where I
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: just want to share these things with somebody else, and
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  Speaker 1: so I know that going through this egg freezing process
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  Speaker 1: is going to remind me of those feelings. It's going
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  Speaker 1: to remind me that I'm doing this on my own
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  Speaker 1: right now. To be clear, I'm not interested in having
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: a child on my own. I do know other women
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: that have made that decision, and I think that is
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  Speaker 1: such a beautiful, beautiful choice. It's just not the choice
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: that I'm interested in making. And so I'm just feeling
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  Speaker 1: I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. The holidays also bring about
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: so many thoughts and feelings as well. I decided that
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  Speaker 1: my best way to deal with all of these things
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: is twofold one. Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed, which is kind
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: of how I feel right now, I always make plans
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: with people that I know really care about me and
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  Speaker 1: have my best interest in mind and like love me
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  Speaker 1: and I love them, and so I have some of
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: those on the horizon which make me really excited. And
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: then I made the decision to get warm because that
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: was something that was in my wheelhouse. So I'm heading
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: down to Miami next weekend, which should be really lovely
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  Speaker 1: to have some time. I'll be able to see a
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  Speaker 1: couple of friends while I'm down there, get some sunshine,
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  Speaker 1: hopefully come back with a little.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Bit of a tan.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: If me and the weather gods can be in kahoots
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  Speaker 1: on that, I would really appreciate it. I think the
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  Speaker 1: takeaway that I want to share from this is that oftentimes,
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  Speaker 1: when we're going through experiences that feel very overwhelming, it
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  Speaker 1: can be a mistake when you think I am alone
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  Speaker 1: in this, and I know that I am not alone
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  Speaker 1: in what it is that I'm going through. I know
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  Speaker 1: that I'm not the only woman in her late thirties
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  Speaker 1: who's like what's going on here?
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  Speaker 2: What you go an I'm saying.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I also know that it's really important to have the
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: tools in the toolbox, Like I mentioned, knowing that surrounding
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: myself with people that care about me is really important movement,
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  Speaker 1: a massive tool for me.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I woke up this morning, sat down.
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  Speaker 1: Journaled, like, got the thoughts out of my head, really
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  Speaker 1: felt like I had a really great fresh start from
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: some of the things that were frustrating me yesterday. And
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  Speaker 1: I recognize that every day I get the chance to
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  Speaker 1: do that. Every second I get the chance to do that,
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  Speaker 1: Every second is an opportunity to start fresh. I saw
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: something recently that really resonated with me, and it's framing
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: the day as if it was dollars. So, if you
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  Speaker 1: have one thousand, four hundred and forty minutes in a
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  Speaker 1: day and you have a bad two minutes, are you
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  Speaker 1: going to let those two minutes ruin the other one thousand,
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  Speaker 1: three hundred and thirty eight minutes. Are you going to
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  Speaker 1: if you had one thousand, four hundred and forty dollars,
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  Speaker 1: throw away one three hundred and thirty eight dollars because
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  Speaker 1: you lost two dollars. No, you're not going to do
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: that you're going to do the best you can with
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  Speaker 1: the remaining balance. And so when I have these days, weeks, hours,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: minutes that feel heavy, I come back to this concept
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  Speaker 1: that it doesn't need to make for a bad day.
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  Speaker 1: A bad minute doesn't need to make for a bad day,
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  Speaker 1: a frustrating week doesn't need to make for a bad year.
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  Speaker 2: But it's up to you.
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  Speaker 1: It's up to me to make the choice to do
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  Speaker 1: the best that I can moving forward.
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  Speaker 2: Heavy episode this week, a little vulnerable for me.
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  Speaker 1: I again know that I'm not going through this on
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  Speaker 1: my own, and so if you have experience, if you
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: want a yap, if you want to chat, always feel
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: free to shoot me and email over at Hello at
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: hurdle dot us or drop the Hurdle account a dm
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: over at Hurdle podcast. I'm really loving what's going on
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: in the Daily Hurdle channel. I hope that you're in there.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: It's a subscriber channel over on at Hurdle podcast on
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Instagram right now. In there, we're going back and forth
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: on a journaling channel that we are writing through one
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: prompt day for the rest of December, thinking of continuing
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: this to some sort of an extent in January. If
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: that's something that would excite you as a New Year's challenge,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: shoot us a DM or tag hurdle in your story
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: and share five Minute Friday with your friends your followers.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: No matter how big the following, the love is always appreciated.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: And now a listener question.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Hey, Emily, love the show and your guests recently have
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: been fire.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: My current hurdle is consistency with sleep. I've heard you
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: and your guests talk about the importance of recovery for performance,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: but I often struggle with getting high quality restorative sleep,
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  Speaker 1: even when I do prioritize the time in bed. I
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: do things like avoiding screens before bed and keeping my
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: room cool. But for someone who is already active and
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: fairly disciplined with training and nutrition, what would you say
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: has made the best impact on your overall sleep and
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: how do you get better sleep quality over just quantity.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much, Tricia, that was a really well formed question.
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  Speaker 1: Hig Trisia sleep is I love sleep, and I've done
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: a lot of things to really impact the overall quality,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: which is what you're asking about specifically. Just so we're clear,
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  Speaker 1: there's a difference between getting a lot of sleep and
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: getting a lot of good sleep just because you're someone
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: that can get eight to ten hours of sleep, If
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: that sleep is all light sleep and you're waking up often,
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  Speaker 1: that won't serve you as well as say, seven hours
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  Speaker 1: of high quality sleep that has higher concentrations of both
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  Speaker 1: deep and rem sleep. I do have some episodes on
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  Speaker 1: sleep in the Hurdle catalog, and I'll link one of
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  Speaker 1: those in the show notes in this episode. When we
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: talk about sleep quality, there are a few things that
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  Speaker 1: are non negotiables for me. I am all about blackout curtains.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: I'm all about sleeping in a consistently dark room, whether
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I'm here at home or I'm traveling, and so sometimes
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: when I have the opportunity to pick my own accommodations,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: I'm looking to see what's on the windows. I know
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  Speaker 1: that can be silly, but it really makes a major difference,
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  Speaker 1: especially if you are traveling across time zones, to do
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  Speaker 1: the best you can with setting up your circadian rhythm
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  Speaker 1: in a new place. The other thing that I'm really
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  Speaker 1: big on is a cool room. I would say that
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  Speaker 1: I'm not sleeping in a room that's warmer than sixty
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  Speaker 1: five degrees, give or take, and I'm the kind of
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  Speaker 1: person that I do love being cozy. I do love
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  Speaker 1: being warm, but I do not like to be warm
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  Speaker 1: to sleep. So I'm the kind of person that I
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: might not even turn my heat on some nights. I do, however,
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  Speaker 1: have the eight sleep pod pro the mattress topper, and
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  Speaker 1: that warms my actual bed. So I'll get into the
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: bed and the bed is warm and cozy, and then
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: the air around me is cooler, and that sets up
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  Speaker 1: a really nice Goldilock situation for my sleep. So I
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: talked about the benefits of making your room dark. I
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: talk about the benefits of making your room cool. And
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: then you mentioned Tricia not looking at screens before bed.
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  Speaker 1: That's a really helpful trick to get your body and
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  Speaker 1: brain ready for the activity that's ahead, which is rest.
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  Speaker 1: The last tip I will offer you is making it
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  Speaker 1: a priority to get into bed at a time that
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  Speaker 1: you feel like supports your schedule.
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  Speaker 2: So I am a morning person. I talk about it
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  Speaker 2: all the time.
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  Speaker 1: I'm naturally waking up between five fifteen and six am
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  Speaker 1: most days, and that's because I make it a priority
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  Speaker 1: to get into my bed and sleep before nine point
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  Speaker 1: thirty eight.
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  Speaker 2: So I'm getting into my bed.
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  Speaker 1: I've set up the environment the best way that I
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  Speaker 1: know that I can, and I'm setting my self up
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: for success by making that success a priority. So, just
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  Speaker 1: like anything when it comes to what's important to you,
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  Speaker 1: if it's important, you need to make accommodations for it,
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  Speaker 1: and sleep is no exception. One other thing I know
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  Speaker 1: I mentioned quality versus quantity. You won't really know that
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  Speaker 1: much about your sleep quality unless you're wearing some type
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  Speaker 1: of wearable. I wear an aura ring constantly, but if
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: you have an Apple, watch, a garment, a chorus, a whoop.
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  Speaker 1: So many different devices now can monitor the different sleep
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: stages that you're in throughout the night. So it could
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: be something to throw on your holiday wish list if
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: you are genuinely very serious about trying different approaches to
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: better the quality of your sleep. I'm going to link
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: some of my favorites, including the aura and the whoop
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  Speaker 1: in the show notes as well. If that is of
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: interest for you, Make sure you're falling along over on
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: social It's a hurdle podcast. I'm over at Emily a
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: body another hurdle conquered.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Catch you guys next week.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Hm