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Mingling with the Pirate Lords · Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration

• Have you ever heard of communism? No, but I could work. You will be sentenced to death by lethal breathing. The puppet has stabbed this man 87 times. I'm the hardest kind of wood there is this side of the port. Hello, it is I, the Bart Ender. Is that a little vena I spy with my eyes? Oh, hello, ma'am. Welcome to the Rock Round, everybody. Yippee! Yippee! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Now the speaker is dead. Gentlemen, it's reducing the chocolate stuff is... Thurston, I drink whiskey. That is all. And I'll get a hero point. Awesome. He gets a hero point. Okay, add in the hero point. You get the whiskey point. Get a whiskey point. Welcome, everyone, to another exciting episode of Rock Ryan. Thank you so much for those of you who tell us, or tell people that we exist. You know, have to be a bit of a bit of a bit. Tell us that we exist. Yeah, tell us that we exist. We need reminders. We are currently... The drugs are working. I ate them, and everyone here disappeared. My friends are gone. So, thank you so much for going around the internet telling people we exist. Thank you so much for, you know, just on your favorite form. Maybe it's on Reddit, Discord, Facebook, things like that. Maybe you're sharing our fun animations around, clips that we do, et cetera. Thanks, generally. Just letting people know that we do funny little adventures here, and like bringing people together and make some smiles. So, thank you so much for that. And, of course, you can find all about us at NarrativeDeclaration.com, or over on YouTube at NarrativeDeclaration, or help us around at Patreon.com forward slash NarrativeDeclaration. But, of course, another episode of Rock Ryan means that tons of things happen because Veena... A lot of things happen with Veena. We got to see possibly some of the best characters ever made, and the worst characters ever made. Captain Sharkskin. Who's the worst characters ever made? That's right. On our way to basically delaying Veena's arrival to her homeland after she was doing multiple loops and out of fear and anxiety. Captain Shark... What's his name? What was it? What was his name? Wow. I'm not good. I know exactly what he looks like. I don't do names, man. So, what's his name one more time, please? Captain Sharkskin, our friend. Yeah, okay. I had it right the first time. I just... I double-doubted myself. Captain Sharkskin pretty much intercepted our beautiful... Why can't I get my name right? Why do you like that? Because I'm terrible at recaps. This is why no one wanted to deal with them. No, no, you just got to believe. You just got to believe in yourself. I am believing in myself. I am believing. I am believing. You believe. That's how she'd be like, you don't really believe in yourself. No, you don't chat with me on this. No, you know, everyone in chat say that they believe in you, right? Give the one your energy, chat. Raise your hands to the sky. Yeah, just like that little child gave me energy to exist. And, of course, we get intercepted by Captain Sharkskin pretty much demanding that he is to escort us back home or back to Vena's homeland, either for nefarious reasons or not. And, of course, Sharkskin was basically birthed out of a wish of a dying child who wanted to be a pirate. And, of course, as they always take off their hat and lean down, they are sad that the captain is no longer with them. But they carry on terrorizing, terrorizing the skies and sea, because I think they were fabled as being, like, the most ruthless pirate gang ever. They're monsters. But after a glorious intimidation from the entire crew, Sharkskin fucked off but was following us the entire way back to Vena's homeland. Once we arrived and tried our best to lay low, the entire guard of pirates circled around us to where we met Vena's mother. And, of course, during that journey, a slimy piece of garbage captain, which I don't even remember his name. Uh, Rotburner. Rotburner. There we go. Rotburner, who was just being... That was his nickname. I forgot what his actual name is. I just remember that he had massive cheeks. He's like, regardless, piece of garbage. We all don't like him. Yeah. And after being surrounded by all these pirates, Vena was deemed to be basically executed right on the spot for the things that she has done. Because she basically lost the car keys to the most famous ship out there. I didn't lose them. They were stolen. Yeah, whatever. Tell them to the court that Captain Vali believes that you have royally messed up, deeming to be executed. But, of course, if a pirate lord sponsors you and then you go forth and do various deeds, you could redeem your name. And, of course, who else to come up to our defense than Captain Sharkskin? And, of course, we were... And during this entire escapades, Arendelle... Not Arendelle, yourself. Baldrick came forth to basically look over the various laws to help with that piece of information. After his excellent stealth skills. And, of course, the protection of her friends. Vena is surrounded by friends and loved ones and a new pirate lord able to help her out during this treacherous time. And I think I got everything recapped. Is that right? Did I miss anything? Oh, yeah. You did a little good job there. You even got no end of the sub story. Very good. Very good. Very good. And that is where we have left off. So, Thurston, what adventure do you have for us today? All right, so as we begin today, we begin back in the settlement right where we started with all of those NPCs and Captain Sharkskin who has, you know, made their way triumphantly down the street. Okay, so now it's going to be up to Vena and all your friends, right? I have no vision, by the way. No, never mind. I do. I do. Never mind. I'm just filled. We got it. Got it. All right, it's going to be up to you now to decide how you're going to deal with this. You're going to have to make all the Viscons your friends. Oh, shit. I'm going to have to make all the Viscons my friends. Try, but don't worry. You have me out, you friend. You want to be my friend, Captain Sharkskin? Of course I do. Okay. I accept that. Come here, buddy. Bring it in. I pick him up like the little stuffy he is. I'm sure he has many sharp things on his person. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Be like these little like nubbin hands that are, you know, full head. Like it happens in slow motion. After you hug him, when you release him, are you like a barrel just spilling blood of all the holes? Yeah, all the sharp teeth. You just have to go and you have to make friends with Ulysse and Ysa, Garland, and your mom. Oh, my mom. Yeah, you have to be friends with your mom. Yeah, that's going to be really easy. Is this the way we handle the situation? By making friends with everyone? Well, I've got to vote for you and be positive, otherwise you'll die. Wheeling dealing in politics. I've either got to make some deals or do something so crazy that nobody would, um, nobody would want to see me hanged. Well, have you got any ideas? The first thing I could think of would be getting... At this point, the crowd is, like, dispersing to give you time, and it's just sort of some of the poppets and shark skin. Your Captain Vali has turned and departed with brusqueness towards the, uh, meeting hall of the Vicons. And, uh, the, the small, uh, you know, form of the halfling, uh, Vicon Ysa, has also departed back to the library. Um, Garland, the, the rot burner, has, uh, taken a host of, of folks over to one of the local bars. Uh, so you, you've kind of got a bit of the streets to yourselves to continue the conversation. Okay, so, the craziest and most straightforward thing I could do was just make right the wrong. Find Papa Storm's crown, and boot off the crew that did the mutiny. Problem being, there's no way we beat them in the sky. Just no way. Even if we got multiple crews together, it would be incredibly difficult. Well, what have we boarded them? Yeah, you got us. And Gorgermonger. Weh. Weh. Weh. Possibly. Thank you. Weh. Possibly, but... The crown is... It's got a crew of about 50, last I recall. And, um, unless we can cut our way through 50 people. Yes. And about an extra dozen bird riders. Hmm, you make a good point. Perhaps, then, it is for the best that we develop something of an ironclad crew ourselves. Yeah. I highly doubt we're going to win my mother's vote without getting the crown back, but... The rest of them, we could potentially try to wheel and deal, to... Do favors, or win respect, or whatever we have to do. Problem is, how long do we have to do all that? 24 hours? We've done more in less time. And with all our brains together, we can definitely get it done. Absolutely. But if we only have 24 hours, then we're best acting fast. Right. Best thing that we could probably do is split up. Each of us find one of the Viconned. Because, uh, there are... A total of... Hold on, I have my notes open. Really? There are five captains, and then my mother, for a total of six. We've got one on our side. And then four more. But we need to... Oh, sorry about that. Bad news. What? There's only four Viconns right now. Oh. Well, what happened to the V? Is this... Q-hold again? No. No. Oh. Had the rumbly-tumblies. Did not go well. Oh, no. They died of dysentery. Happens. No, they died of hot girl IBS. Also happens. Gross. And it was a guy, too, so that made it even worse for them. I see. All right. So, four. Four captains in the council. Three that we still need to win over. Yeah, you just gotta go to Garwin. And it's a bar, yeah, it's a library, and, well, Ulyss. And also, potentially, your mother. And also, potentially, my mother. Well, if I may be so bold, Captain Sharkskin. Uh-huh. I have a question for you. Oh, okay. I like answering questions. Is it a multiple choice question? Sort of. Or is it okay? Have you ever heard of communism? Now is not the time for that. And Zach? And Zach? It's very important if we're gonna be working together. We get on the right page of this. We're all literally criminals. We've never heard of the four pests campaign. We need to. There are too many sparrows here. We gotta carry them. There's too many vikons on this province. Oh, no. The ecology has been ruined because we killed all the sparrows. Who could have ever seen this coming? Can't believe the Bushrazi did this. Ah. Well, no, but I could warn. That's the best. Can I please introduce someone I'm going to do this? Sorry. Sorry, you cut out at like... That's the best. That's the best. That's the best. That's the best. That's the best. Literature. Here is my literature, my konchuk skin. You can use this and learn about the revolution. I don't think the revolution is going to help the next 24 hours. Tanny, I'm going to be real with you. He takes his like little plush hand and puts it. Um, but what's kind of concerning is that the hand is going like... Like vertically instead of horizontally to read the words. Tanny, I don't think he knows how to read. He's a literal puppet. You know, you shouldn't make judgments about people simply because... He was dreamed into existence by a dying child. And children can read sometimes. I could... Well, I couldn't read when I was a child, but I... It's about a 50-50 here. Oh. Well, the pictures are nice, so maybe that can work. Yeah, it'll inspire. With Tenhauser's attempt at proselytizing underway, perhaps we should figure out how to divvy up responsibilities here then, rather than wasting more time. Right. I agree. Oh, wait, wait. Before we do that, though, I have one more thing. Is it more communism? Yes, Tenhauser. It is less communism. Okay. Vykon Chuxkin, while you indulge in the literature of the revolution, I must ask you, would you be willing to lend your crew to the mission of returning Papa Storm's Thunder? Crown. Crown. Papa Storm's Crown. Papa Storm's Crown. Would you be willing to aid us in an attempt to get back that ship? Well, I could certainly try to do that. You know, there's a lot of us. We're the most feared crew in the sky. That's because that's what our child wanted for us. That's right. That's great. I knew it. Vykon Chuxkin, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Okay, very cool. I like having friends. You know, we need friends. Me too. You need friends to be alive. That was going to be the name of our ship. We were going to call it the friendship. That was what the child wanted. But then the child wasn't there anymore. So, you know, now we just have the skyware. We call him Whalesy. That's a great name. All the names I tried to come up with turned out to be naval disasters. Yeah. Funny thing, that. For a guy who does not read up about aeronautical disasters, you managed to name several of them in a row. It was really quite impressive. I've just got an intuition for this kind of thing. I don't know what to say. Yeah, that's not a good thing, Tannhauser. Yeah, but maybe we don't put him on the wheel. Hold on. I can drive the ship. We haven't crashed yet. Yet. Yet. Yet is the operant right there. Let's get to the part where we can crash the aeronautical vessel after we save Vina from being executed horribly. That would be nice. I'd prefer not to do that. I'll start getting my crew already. Well, they're all around town. I'll go get my crew together. And then we'll, once you've got all the other Vycons good, then what I can do, you see, is I can come and help you. Yes. That sounds excellent. Very well, Vycon Sharkskin. Oh, we'll see each other soon now. Okay, bye. And he does, like, this strut walk away. Goodbye. I love that guy. Vina, have you thought about what your last words are going to be upon the gibbet? Oh, yeah, I did. Which was, can you get me some wine? That's good. That's real good. That's good, right? Very memorable. Apropos of nothing, Thurston. Can I roll an outset law to find out what execution happens when you commit the crime that Vina is responsible of? I'll allow it. I'll allow it. Thanks. I just want to know. Oh, it's a three for a 22. Your understanding is drowning. They put you in a cage and they drown you. That's exciting. In air? That's incredible. I don't think you could do that. There's a river. In the air? No. No, between the mountains. In the air? In the air? Hi. Hi, we're dicks. We have the first ever sky river. Well, presumably. Sky river, you mean a cloud? In the air? In the air. You will be sentenced to death by lethal breathing. No. No. Cannot be. I read about that once. It's one of the worst ways to die. I'm there with drowning on dry land. All right. So, let's think about how we approach this. We can either divide and conquer, or we can all go one by one to each of the Vicon and try to convince them as a group. Let's save time. Yeah. I will say as a group, yeah, we tend to fuck around delightfully, but notably. Instantaneously, Baldrick just says, let's not waste time. Let's split up. Please, please, please, please. I have a suggestion. Is that Baldrick? Who's that earned? It was a little bit of both, but then again, him and I are unfortunately, like, conjoined at the hip with regards to the frustrations. All right. So, we have three more Vicon to contend with. Likewise, I do have an idea of how we might win over my mother before we try to take back the crown. We could go talk to my dad. You have a dad? Well, Tannhauser, when a man and a woman love each other very much. I thought you hatched from an egg like Orin. No, I don't think I did. I missed my egg. I'd have to check. Thurston, I'd like to roll Warfare to understand the biology of sylphs. Sure. Roll it. It's fair. Love is a battlefield. I'll allow it. Thank you for getting what I was going for. So, that's a 15 for a 34. They don't come from eggs. Yeah, they don't do that. Who is it that hatched from an egg besides Orin? Is that you, Baldrick? Did you hatch from an egg? I'm a human being just like you, asshole. So, it was Rahua who had the egg. Yeah, probably. I mean, in a matter of speaking, I guess I came from an egg. I hatched from everything else and whatever the hell this is. Metaphorically. That's awesome. I have a metaphor for many things. You can write whatever meaning onto me you would like, Wink. I would like to write meaning onto this meeting of the minds here for a moment. Yeah, yeah. And consider. My father is probably the only person in the world that my mother likes. Problem being, I don't necessarily know if he would be on my side. He is at least nicer. Does he like you? I think he does. I was pretty sure he did. I mean, he was a really kindly guy. Very, I mean, you know, kind of opposites attract with my mother. Okay, better question. Can you make him like you? Probably. Well, that's an option then. Besides, your mother can't shoot you right now anyway, so we can always just go and talk to her, even though all you'll get is probably a tongue lashing, but hey, whatever. Ah, another one. I mean, I should be used to it by now, huh? Yeah, and she can't shoot you. Not yet. Hmm. Not lethally, at least. Oh. I mean, if she does that, it will only help us. True. All right. So in that case, we split up. Each of us finds a Vicon, convinces them to get behind the case of our crew, and to get behind the retaking of Papa Storm's crown, as I don't see the crown here, and I have no idea where Azara flew it off to. If I may, I am really only good at threatening people and talking about socialism. I think I should accompany you. Okay, then we're going to have to take on two as a team. Hang on a second. Let's take stock of who we actually have as people that can be talked to first before we go deciding anything. We have Captain Vali, interesting to say that, and actually mean it this time. Yeah. We have... Pardon me, I was a little bit away when you guys were discussing. We have... I saw that roguish fella who kept chattering. We had that... Yeah, him, Rotburner. We had the... The gnome woman. Halfling. Halfling. Halfling, right. Uh, remind me of her name? I'm writing them down. Uh, that was, uh, Yiza, the Waterway Admiral. Yiza. And then there's Rotburner. He has a full name, but Rotburner is fun. Um, and then the third one who we haven't talked to, it started with an E. I'm just putting it in chat. Oh, yes. Please do. Yulius. Okay. Yulius. The boar Yulius. All right. Uh, and Yulius is actually the only one we haven't encountered, uh, yet. What do I know about him? Her. Her! Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, women. That's right. Diversity fail. Diversity fail. Give me society check. Society. This is how we learned that Blessing Yulius is a huge communist. Okay. Uh, my society is one of my best skills. Watch this. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, okay. There you go. Natural 20 for 21. Watch this drive. Watch this drive. Let's fucking go. I told you to read my literature. I told you it always pays off. Society. Uh, I think I'm Blessing Yulius. Uh, it's probably someone you knew from your childhood, because she's been around a while. Uh, she runs the local arena. Uh-oh. Yeah. Uh, she is known for, um, bringing trade to Andacia. In particular, um, she imports strange and interesting creatures for bugs at the arena. Yeah. Uh, she only represents raw martial strength. Uh. It's perfect for Tannhauser. Okay, so... Misses the boar. Runs the local arenas. And has a colorful array of various beasts from around the world. And only respects raw strength. So, unfortunately, we might have to tackle that one as a team. Uh, unless somebody really wants to solo some kind of, I don't know, sandworm. I like worms. I like worms a lot. I eat worms. Yeah. No, they're for friends, not food. They're food. No, they're not! Orange slurps a worm. I have a question real quick. Throw a scrams worm by the throat. Yeah, get him! Get him! People taking bets. We're starting a new arena right here. We're practicing. You put that... You pose it down right now. All right, knock it off. Why, you little... Homie. Homie. What the fuck? Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. Fucking speaker using that voice to say homie. Just hit me. I have, like, Venture Brothers, Dr. Orpheus vibes. I put these children's souls in these homies' dolls. It's beautiful. Homie. Homie. So, team. So, team. So, maybe dividing and conquering isn't the best idea. We've got Yaiza, we've got Rodburner, and we've got Euless. Euless, we're going to need to fight our way into her respects. Yaiza is the librarian, and then Rodburner is a scumbag, but maybe we could, I don't know, outdrink him, and he would respect us? I think it's about finding the right person to talk to them, specifically. They do have to be on your side. Doesn't have to mean they all have to be your friend. That's true. We are a crew. I mean, we're in this together, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. More or less, obviously. Yeah. Okay. By your lead, Kem. Then I think, for Yaiza and Rodburner, we split into two teams. Tani, Baldrick, I think you two should talk to Yaiza, because the two of you are the brainiest of our bunch here. And it's likely that you could, I don't know, have some stimulating academic conversation. Yes. Provided he doesn't try to turn her to communism. She might be a communist. That is stimulating academic conversation. You're a terrorist. Being a terrorist doesn't make me a communist. It should. He says in tears. Why aren't you a communist? Why aren't you a communist? Why aren't you a communist? Why aren't you? Do you not like me? Baldrick leans over. No. So that would mean Rahua, Oren, and I would go and talk to Rodburner. And, you know, frankly, Rahua is a dubiously sane collection of anarchistic space goo. Oren eats bugs, and I am an alcoholic, so I think we have the best chance with him. Yeah. True. And then we meet back up, and we go fight in that arena. And that should cover us. I think you're assuming a lot about what we're going to have to do to impress her. But I think I get your point. Yes. No, Ulysse. Oh, Ulysse. I mean, we're going to have to fight. We're going to have to fight something, and we fight better as a team. Odo is employing video game logic here, which is when there is an arena in a town, and the player characters enter the town, inevitably, there's going to be a fight in that fucking arena. That's the Odo Roshi Rider approach here, right? Thirsten, I want you to know. I mean. I want you to know that one of these days, I'm going to run a pen and paper game that's going to have an arena in it, and everyone's going to be like, oh, when are we getting to the arena? And I'm going to have them leave town. Yes. Come on, Thirsten, you're going to look at me in the eyes and tell me that I'm wrong? Which group is going first? I don't know, man. I leave it up to the whims of fate. All right, yeah. Roll a D2. Yeah. A flip of the dice. A flip of the dice. Baldrick and Tanhauser, you're number one, because you're both number one in my heart, and we'll be number two. Because we're number one, yeah! Fuck yeah! All right, I'll flip a coin. We... All right, Tanhauser and Baldrick first. We're number one! I'm just so glad we get an opportunity of these two characters bonding. Oh, don't you worry, that's why I put them together. Oh, I know you did, you fucking monster. You get a hero point for that, you monster. Yay! Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the Miz. When my wrestler comes on screen. True. Uh, all right, so the two groups, uh, part ways, and then, like, the little, um, the little, like, gloved hand appears above, and it's, like, choose your fighters. And then it, like, goes back and forth a few times, and it settles on Baldrick's head and clicks okay, as, like, then the, the camera follows Baldrick and Tanhauser making their way towards the library. Which is about, you know, a good, you know, a good eight-minute walk away from this area where you've got to now. So there is, like, a bit of time for conversation amongst these. Before we converse, I wanted to ask a question, actually, Thurston, because last episode we had, like, a bit of a time crunch going on. I didn't want to inquire too thoroughly about this, but we have a little time now. Why was it necessary for me to sneak into the library before? Is it illegal for people who don't live here to go to the library? Uh, that was what Veena told you. Whether or not that's accurate, um... Oh, don't worry, Baldrick, it's, it's very illegal to go to the library. You'll have to sneak in. Me, would I lie? Having fun's really hard when you don't have a library card. All right, so what exactly are we planning with this? Because I got a, got a hint of her as we were, uh... I asked her for help finding the law of book, or the book of laws that I was reading through. And from what I understood, she was categorically excited for Veena to be executed. Hmm. Well, I mean, yeah, of course, why wouldn't she be? That implies she doesn't like her very much. I mean, it could just be that she likes a good execution. Maybe. It's hard to tell who's ambivalent and who's... Peering from the rafters for someone to be drowned in air. It'd be very strange for someone not to be excited to go to an execution. It's like, what are you gonna do? You're gonna, you know, then you're gonna act like you're not there to have a good time. I mean, you got me there. I live in Outset, so it's just kind of a... I mean, executions just kind of happen, you know, in the street. Yeah, they sell hot dogs to them. It's good viewing. I don't know how that guy manages to be at every arrest. It's very bizarre. You've probably got a guy on the inside. Now, listen. I don't think that this person... Well, if you've got the impression that she wants her dead, we'll have to discover why, and perhaps use academic knowledge to persuade her against that. Now, most of the intelligentsia that haven't already embraced the truth of my radical doctrine, they tend to be quite set in their ways and reactionary. So we should be prepared for that as well. Are you going to attempt to convert her to our cause by converting her to your cause? You got me. I'm gonna give it a shot. All right, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, Tannhauser. Uh-huh. I want you to pass me the book that you're going to show her. I want you to pass me all of your pamphlets. Why? Okay, yeah, why? Baldrick takes them if he's offering them, and he's going to stuff them in his pack. We're not going to do that this time. Baldrick, this is... This is incredibly irregular. You're right, it is. Because as far as I can tell, this is a pirate town. You just tried to convert a poppet to your communism. A thing, a concept, that has so far been so far away from almost any other thing I've ever heard of. You are possibly the first I have ever heard of this political alignment before. We have to start at the bottom. We can't just come in swinging our bat around expecting to get them to enjoy it. Well, listen, I'm not going in there. I... These people are pirates. They love direct democracy. Worker control. Pirate ships are basically worker co-ops already. Yeah, under a captain. Yes, but the captain is usually elected by the crew. Or at least, as often. Do you know that for a fact? I'm going to roll society to see if I know that for a fact. Please. All right. All right, let's go. Let's go. Let's see what happens. He needs to know. It's a 14. 37. He's the knower. Okay. Okay. So these groups are highly destabilized. They have some leanings that politically maybe match up with your ideations. But on a core conceptual level, there's there's a bit more of an art like anarchism to what they're doing than, say, the for the people, because they still want to be above the people in many cases. I see. Well, listen, I know these people. They are anarchists. Anarchists and communists are great friends and natural allies until the revolution is finished. Then it gets a bit weird, actually. Yeah. Are you planning on just lie of omissioning your way through that and just not telling her, yes, this thing that we're drafting you into will end with you collapsing into a puddle of spittle as people stop you to death? Listen, I don't think that I can get communism fully going out here, but I can definitely get anarcho-syndicalism going. So I'll shoot for that. Okay. The goal is not to the goal is not to enrapture the populace with communism. The goal is to stop Veena from getting drowned. Well, yeah, that's my second turn of advantage. That's my second priority. Flip those priorities, Tannhauser, because if one succeeds and the other fails, I'd really rather we not lose Veena. I mean, I agree. I don't want to lose Veena. Look, just trust me. I'm great at this. I can tell because you keep doing it and no one's hit you with a rake yet. I know. Because my rhetoric changes hearts and minds. Now let's go to the library and give this woman a verbal ass-kicking. Fair enough. Let's get going. Hithirsten, we go to the library. Oh, God, you heard me there. Yeah. All right. With that, at that exact moment, you pass through the doors into the library, where around here you can see back sort of moving scrolls and documents around. is like a small halfling woman with piercings in her ears, wide eyes, a constant smile on her face, humming as she goes about. What are you doing? Would you like to take the reins on this one? Greetings, citizen. Oh, fuck. Oh, I'm going to die. She looks at you. Oh. Is it some kind of holiday I forgot about? Well, it's sort of like a holiday because there's going to be a public execution. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Thanks for reminding me. Who is it? But listen, You know what I really like about being here? No. The decentralized nature of all of your power structures. What? She, like, quirks an eyebrow at you. where you see every individual pirate ship out here. It's like its own society that follows its own set of rules that are pre-agreed upon, usually by democratic rule. Of course, you have power centralized within the captains and the Vicon, but there's nothing stopping the cabin boy from one day becoming a Vicon. Hell, one of your Vicons is a puppet. And I bet that if that puppet doesn't work towards the best interests of his crew, he's not going to be the puppet captain anymore. And that might be because he was birthed by the dream of a dying child, but it's also because of the values of this town. I like those values, don't you? Her eyebrow remains quirked. Um, you know the pub's that way, right? That's usually where you have talks like that. Right. But you see, I need something from you. And so I'm trying to butter you up with pre-social lubricant, mostly about one of the things that I find charming and endearing about your society. Okay. Give me a diplomacy check, Danheuser. You got it. Let's see how well this goes. Oh, boy. Wait, hold on. Would you say that I'm making an impression? Yeah, sure. A impression, sure. You're making something. Yeah. And this person as a vicont is basically the nobility of this area. I'll let you use this feat that you've waited so long to use, yes. Let's have those. Let's see that number. Let's not. Give me the number. A natural one. Here it comes. Foolish. Okay. Okay. Not bad. Okay. Well, you have me interested, I guess. You're a bit nicer than most of the other assholes who come through here. All right. Take a seat. Excellent. I'm very nice. The fee is 200 gold. Ooh, Baldrick, I need you to spot me 200 gold. I need to remember how to get access to the people's loot again. Oh, yeah. So if you go into the character listings, there should be the party up at the top and then a little open sheet button beside that. And then I think it's in there. Currently, you have 500 gold pieces in your stash. Okay, we'll deduct 200 from that then to facilitate this. Because I don't have that much on my person. Now, what exactly am I paying for? I say before I hand over the gold. My time. How much of it are we getting? I'll give you a good half hour. Good enough. I feel like she meticulously inspects the coins as they're being passed over, biting into some of them. I feel like you should haggle too, but I don't know if you'll succeed. Honestly, money means nothing to me. Unless it's in the house. So you can give me more, 300. Tazer, shut up. Don't get smart about this. What? I don't know if you know I'm a powerful warlord. Oh, yeah. We need to talk about Veena. All right. We're going to find Papa Storm's crown. We're going to bring it back. One way or another. And when this is done, the books that you're holding is going to be written about them, and not as just a footnote towards the itinerary for the local execution, but as a real mover and shaker. Okay. Now, in order to do this, it would be great to have your support. So to that end, I ask, what do you need from us to get that support? There's like some nods, and then she's like, well, first of all, it's a really dumb plan, but okay. You see, the problem is, is what's to say that I give you the support, and then you don't just go off to the Taha Vale Islands and drink Taha drinks for the rest of your lives. Ma'am, I do not have a throat anymore. All right. I don't care. This isn't about you, though. This is about Vina, right? Yes. You think she's going to go off? I like, I think you start this sentence, and then, what, you think she's just going to go off to some tropical island to drink for the rest of the, boss, boss, thinks of Vina, boss, boss? Listen, I know that Vina has a reputation for irresponsibility in this town, and it might well be one that has been earned, but the woman has literally died in the intervening period. Well, she looks pretty good for someone who's died. Yes, she got better. It's a long story. We have been through adventures all across Tyne. Well, I mean, really just Golgotha and Outset, but also the swamp as well. And we've done much in our time. Like what? Well, just recently, I wound up cutting off my own arm to unlock the imprisoned spirit of the elder god of fire, and in return, I got this skeletal hand, and I reveal the skeleton emerging out of my metal. Ooh. Of course, this was after crushing a citadel underfoot and leading a citizen's revolution against the tyrant Golgotha himself, where we crushed the tyrannical rulers of that place, and we smashed him beneath our iron boots. And we will do the same in this town if we must, for Veena is no longer the girl you once knew. Now she is a fearsome captain, a selfless warrior, and someone who I, Tannhauser, leader of the People's Revolution, have placed my utter faith in, and I haven't regretted it since. Do you want to give me an intimidation with that? Is that kind of what you're going for? Sure! No. Well, you know, intimidate's not just, it's not, remember, it's not just an alternate diplomacy. It is short-term benefit, long-term harm. Oh, that is true, isn't it? Yeah. Hmm. This is the real reason why Oda was like, Erndale could be there, too. Oh, no. Would you accept a crafting? If he's accepting a crafting, I'd be better off doing it. Look, I've been, I've been, like, I've been watching a lot of, a lot of Pawn Stars lately, so, like, I feel like crafting is, you know, I just can't take it. I need a profit out of it. You know, the audience has laughed. Yeah, exactly. You know, like, I don't know, maybe, like, maybe I could, like, maybe I could let you, you know, give me a, give me a diplomacy instead. Like, you know, that, that, that would work. Will I have a lower DC? DC? Yeah. Yeah, don't mess up. Am I wearing high flash, I'm not wearing high fashion clothes. How bad could it be? Could have said that. That is a three. With your minus two to one. I'll spend a hero point. Yeah, that sounds great. That is a 13. Which is a great number. If we do the, well, yeah, yeah, you got a 13, so, yeah, you're screwed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry, even the, even the pity math doesn't save him here. All right. This, this, I do enjoy that your debuff minus one is emotionally unaware. Oh, yeah. Sedan, droid buff, baby. Yay. This halfling just looks up. Oh, you know, that was very good. It sounds like you're a really important person. Really, really good. Nothing you said there really gave me anything to care about Vina, and I like myself a good execution. All right. Let me, let me step in, Tanhauser, if you, if I may. Very well, but if you fail, I'm talking about communism. And you're already doing that. You're already gearing up to do that. I'm just letting you know ahead of time. Baldrick, Baldrick turns to the Vicon for a moment. Excuse me for one second as he turns to Tanhauser. Of course, of course, 30 minutes are almost, we're getting there. Tanhauser, if I fuck this up, I will give you every single pamphlet that I took from you just now, and you can take as much time as you want, because after this point, we are screwed. All right. And he turns back to the Vicon. Very good. Right. Thank you, by the way, earlier for assisting me in finding that law book. It was actually quite helpful. Of course, of course, you know, that's anyone who likes a book, you know, reading's so important. Not a lot of people can read. Yeah, I've gone to college and I've managed to make something of myself back at outset. It's unlikely you've ever heard of me, and that's honestly probably for the better. But I've not heard of you. Yeah. Yeah, not a problem at all, but wait. Do you have a cousin? Are you about to say that you're thinking of someone else who was wearing a slightly different looking helmet? I am! Yeah, see, here's the thing about that. The guards, the law, the constabulary back in outset, you know, the Tyrant's Guild, they just have a really, really shit artist who can't seem to recall what a cylinder looks like to save his life, or her life, who cares? I was wondering, because I saw the dodecahedron headed man, and that seems strange. Are you still worth the hundred gold? I am, but a few people have tried to collect on that, and that hasn't really worked. Okay. I already know what you're planning, ma'am. Trust me, I am flattered, but I don't think that you nor I would enjoy the outcome of that either way. Fair enough. I'm just a book person, so. Yep, it's good to have. In any event, I've spent a lot of time learning, and I've spent a lot of time enduring the company of my compatriots here, spending time enjoying it, and what we've been doing is trying to alleviate the problems that are spanning across Outset at present, because, to put it bluntly, it seems all the gods have up and vanished, or have been, for lack of a better term, sealed. Well, the air's definitely been something a bit looser lately, and the water's not moving as much, and, okay, I can see where you're coming from. it is a bit far-fetched to assume that we are going to be able to stop it, however, we have been hand-picked for this by the gods to try and fix it. Yes, that sounds extremely full of myself, but you can understand that I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't actually have that kind of opinion. Thirsten, I'd like to roll a diplomacy. Yeah, please. Please do something. The Secret Baldrick Trained in Diplomacy score, 19. Trained. Should I re-roll that? You do have an extra hero point. You do have an extra hero point that you had, yeah. Let's try that again. It's gonna be better. Better? Okay, okay, you're, you've got an interesting story here, okay, and wait, looks over Tanner. He's picked by the gods too? Different one. We've already handled his end of the bargain. In this situation, we are now here to attempt to get necessary progress towards freeing Pop Storm. In this situation. Is that why she came back? Yeah, she wouldn't have come here to, you know, put her head on the chopping, block if it wasn't for a good reason. She's the one who's been picked. Okay, okay. It's like pausing and you can definitely tell that there's thinking going on here. Hmm. He'll try to, he'll try to add a little bit more while she's thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hmm. What's worse about this is that we're in, we're left in the very precarious position of not exactly having a lot of time to show people that we are who we say we are. Because if we let this sit any longer, it's just going to get worse. Soon, all the streams are going to start going still. All the air flows are going to start becoming stagnant. You're going to have every scent across the entirety of the globe wafting up. No air pushing it anywhere. Airships will be totally useless without propulsion. And that's only with the air and the water. water. Okay. And you think you can do something about it? What are you looking for here? Mainly, we are looking for your approval for Veena, so we can try to get this execution overturned. Okay, but what does that have to do with why you're here in the first place? Well, what are you looking for here? I'm just curious. Okay, I'm going to be sus now. I'd like to try and interpret her motive. It's called sense motive, and that's a perception check, my brother. You got it, boss. Nat 20. Oh, the motive is sensed. Oh, she is like absolutely like trying to get as much leverage on you as she can. She's asking questions because she knows she can use the answers against you or against her rivals. This, this person is, is an utter shark, more so than perhaps the Viconned named Sharkskin. Baldrick will happily wait for Tannhauser to interrupt him. If you haven't been convinced already, then I'd like 50 gold back because I don't want to waste my time any further. We've given you more than enough rope, enough advantages. Hell, the money paid up front is essentially quadrupled in value. Now you can help us and you can get a slice of whatever comes next, or you cannot. You can refund us 50 gold and we can leave. Refund you 50 whole gold pieces? We're not using the whole time and I'm afraid it's rather short. What will the answer be? She slides 75 back. It really looks like you could, you could use this. Take it back. I'll add that back to the people's loop. What's the word then, ma'am? She just gave it. You'll have my answer the day of the event, she smiles. So be it. One of these days you'll choke on that. And then I'm going to get up and leave. Baldrick will look after Tannhauser and he'll just gently wrap his knuckles on the table that she's seated at as he turns back to her. I do hope that for all of our sakes, you make the right one and not just the one for yourself. Oh, well, it's hard to tell in this day and age which is which, isn't it? All I know is that if we're going down, everyone here is coming soon after, so I'll have a chance to rub it in later. Good day, friend. and he will go. Okay. All right. That was a resounding failure. As you go through and walk the cut is the two of you leaving the bar to the other three entering leaving the library into a conversion to into the bar yeah where there is a raucous raucous cheer that Veena you and your companions hear as you in. The bar itself is filled to the brim with dozens of pirates some of them including some puppets who are just like around and celebrating and drinking there's at least one who's playing a song called the drowned woman's dirge which seems to be a song that's picking up steam here right now for some reason playing a dirge in a bar come on let's get something a little more lively in here are you ready to party all right oh god are we singing for sin ah shit oh I didn't warm up I'm not ready to sing I'm kind of embarrassed it is a coastal town wait before we go in who's who's at the front of your blitzball lineup this is an important question the blitzball I don't want Waka's special attack no it's so boring the game mode sucks mad is these old bad men I want to learn the language the entire game I rather dodge lightning for a thousand times you got some old bad in you don't bring it back the memories must stay oppressed I'm a member of the Xanok in Braves triggered everyone now good good fucking good good see it's a serious arc for you Veena who would have thought that the Veena arc ended in a blitzball game oh my god ironically if it did that would be so funny I wouldn't even be mad I'm ready to blitzball it's a time just start preparing that encounter all right I know Jamie played FF FF10 a bit so you know we can get the grid going it's time for us to partake in the ancient piratical sport airball just make sure you camp the goalie and just keep kicking it in and kicking it in as quickly and as often as possible Veena has to do the volley shot are shoe puffs native to these lands right the shoe puff for those of you who've never played Final Fantasy 10 I apologize for that entire diversion yeah yeah stop watching this and go play Final Fantasy 10 or the new hit single X2 yeah you don't have to play X2 guys we're not going to make you you don't we're really not going to make you yeah before we so it's a raucous it's a raucous interior and like standing atop a table you know just just enjoying their time with the folks here you can see Vicon to Garland rot all right before we go in I'm gonna pull Rahua and Oren into a huddle I'm gonna say all right guys so we are in a lawless pirate town or well pirate laws which is functionally lawless whatever point is Rahua you are one of the most chaotic people I know people here they respect chaos they respect anarchy they respect what you're putting out so now's the time to not dial it back now's the time for chaos all right are you sure well you know what yeah oh no oh no my brain just like is like Rahua runs into the crowd like yeah fuck that bitch gonna drown whoo not that kind of anarchy not that kind of anarchy fuck fuck fuck the anarchy where you try not to let me die no that's the most ominous okay okay okay yeah you know what yeah yeah I trust him are we doing miss weena no no I think I'm I'm think I'm totally okay so for you Oren don't let them intimidate you all right okay there's a bunch of big guys who think they're big and scary but you gotta remember you kick major ass yeah I eat nails without any milk that's true I saw you do that once yeah it really hurt don't do that again okay you can't exactly you have been through so much shit you may be a little guy but you've got a bigger heart than any of them there yeah my trauma holds me together word me too bud okay what's up just making sure they respect chaos right they also respect like shows of strength right making sure we're on the same page here yeah generally okay Rahua walks back off I like the idea this is just gonna be like a recurring thing like Rahua is gonna come back and forth like fucking like 16 times or something back again oh yeah what's up what's up is there anything like a major is there any faux pas that will get me immediately killed that I should avoid uh faux pas that will get you immediately killed yeah um well don't steal something and get caught you can steal something but you can't get caught um let's see I like I like the idea that you're standing outside of the bar and then suddenly you hear this guy just called me a lily-livered air-sucking scumbag and you hear a gunshot you hear a gunshot a gunshot the gunshot not the gunshot a bullet oh my god um all right thurston um would would any immediate social faux pas jump to mind as somebody who was born and raised here because this is a pretty chaotic lawless place generally speaking the faux paws are don't pick a fight with somebody who can't fight back and uh um if you're gonna do some crime don't get caught that is is very very accurate yes um almost as though you know almost as though to to illustrate the point um as you're thinking about this in one corner of of the room a very very drunk pirate his voice is audible above everything even above the the background chatter of the room uh i just don't uh i don't get it i don't think you're all that i i think i i you're not all that i think i think it's all made up i think i think you just you just pretend this you just pretend this there is a hush before you start hearing this sound it's like a the man starts staggering back and what you see is standing like on the table in front of where the man is is a small metal uh like full knight suit armored individual except it's not an individual it's a poppet the poppet has stabbed this man 87 times 87 times 87 times as he like chokes on the the fluids that are now leaking out of him like a strainer um and falls back yeah that sounds about right so yeah rahua um don't fight anybody that can't fight back we don't like push over little old ladies here we take care of our little old ladies here um the poppet jumps off the table onto the man's chest and begins to parade march around causing blood to spew out of some of the holes yeah yeah um don't get your shit rocked um yeah that's pretty much it good to know rahua walks back off okay i trust him implicitly let's go inside he's gonna make his way to like a crowd of people assembling oh it's a tree oh look at the tree we don't have many walking trees what kind of arboreal are you i'm the hardest kind of wood there is this side of the port which one of you scallywags is ready to see that traitor die what yeah yeah yeah yeah there's roy rahua looked at the person who was cheering the loudest uh that would be a character i'm gonna make speaker roleplay right now ah yeah i'm fucking on the elimination yeah are they at the bar right now i'm at the bar right now right on right on there's also a cowboy let me bartender let me get a drink right here i will have the bartender be played by by erndale hello it is i the bartender take this drink yeah thank you bartender i love sitting at the bar and drinking and uh executions and trees and shit oh volume down that is so loud i am the bartender rahua will take i regretting no choices i made rahua will get himself a flagon of ale and propose a toast a toast to the doomed captains before us yeah doomed captains fuck you guys i'm gonna live your night please all patrons of the bar drink whiskey me is gonna look at oran just i sense that perhaps a mistake has been made somewhere the bartender is an automaton by the way i couldn't possibly tell you what it is i should have left home rahua toasts he clinks his glasses with this rowdy patron before him um as as as you are you're clinking glasses uh vikon rot burner just to hop off a table and come towards you uh hello my friend seems you have changed your colors a little bit since we last saw each other oh really i i didn't think that i've changed it to my fancy dress one moment rahua looks back to the drunken captain he with his mechanical hand grabs the back of his head slams it into the bar into the person's glass and just starts mashing his head oh yeah please do not do that ah yeah i love this shit this guy's the best never mind i made exactly the right choice i've never been wrong in my life there's blood everywhere rahua will do this until he stops oh bye american the bartender begins wiping up the blood with a damp rag the the the the wish toy comes over and begins poking the man with his sword not stabbing him just poking for any signs of life he's all yours you can do whatever you want with him now he starts stabbing immediately 87 times oh yeah i'm gonna die oh no rockburner i'm more of a face half full kind of person i've never lost faith in my captain and to any of you who doubt good captain vena's tenacity that kind of energy that kind of ambition i warn you and caution you to not stand against her because that kind of ambition will lead this port to new heights and far greater scores than you had any realization rahua will raise a glass again so here to greater fortune still a toast and rahua will take whatever remaining gold he has and throw it out on the bar here here around on me my bar is rapidly depreciating in value from the fatality i will accept this yeah yeah woo yeah yeah yeah give it some free drinks i like free drinks i can't breathe yeah and like all the speech of course is like backdrop to the stabbing that's like still going oh he's still going it's a squelching sound at least i don't have to go to work tomorrow yeah mood yeah i feel that yeah yeah um dear god well with that with that with that you can see rock burner well i will raise a toast to that as well um rahua do you want to give me a social check i'll let you do intimidation or diplomacy but i feel diplomacy is kind of the route you're taking yeah i'll do diplomacy yeah i'll do diplomacy it's a little bit lower but i don't want to like invoke a hey you remember when you mashed that dude's face into the bar and turned him into a fucking ceviche yeah i don't i'm not really kosher with that do it do it up it's 14 on the die oh very nice for a total of 28 28 very good very good yeah you know i do think that captain vena deserves a chance in in the future thus i will also raise my glass eh come with me everyone come away with me and he raises that's not what you were saying in front of the vicon council ah you know their politics you know yeah yeah at that point i will uh approach from behind uh uh uh rahua and uh uh give rahua a thumbs up rahua will give vena a thumbs up back drink his flag in the veil as it just falls out of his chin i love him so much i love drinking i have a dangerous question it is it is a bar um are clearly young uh young orrin is in here what is what is orrin doing get him a shot of tequila with a worm in it he's like he's of drinking age get him snake wine well here he is he's like i don't know why he put the camera on me i got nothing right now there's nothing orrin can insert himself into he's following along you can go to the bartender you can go you can go to the bartender and ask him to serve you a coke the same way that this bar has been doing for the last 97 years kid i have a milk yes thank you he takes it it's alcoholic he leaves as you as as you receive the milk the bold wish comes up to you oh hey man want some milk good day fellow traveler how are you this spine morn oh i'm fantastic i got milk and i'm hanging out with my captain oh yes if i had bones i too would appreciate milk you know the captain child loved it himself oh you did well i love milk we have something in common yes you should do a toast with that milk to the captain child long may he be departed but never never gone intro we're here um orrin looks around is there like a like a flipped over like something that would imitate a small cup that i could offer to him yeah yeah i do not mean to mock you at all thurston i'm expecting him to say why i'm remembering my child that created me a young man in the land of legibet i forget his name quite crunch i think he said that he wanted to sound like me when he was older that that would be really good orrin will uh kneel down fill up the tiny little receptacle up and offer it to the night he's like well as much as you might not be able to enjoy it we can toast to his memory together very good of course of course of course of course of course he places down his weapons picks up picks up the like weird thimble of water and pours it so it like fills like much of his armor it starts leaking out joint plates and other such things oh so refreshing as i remember when the captain child would place it on himself or we'll kind of clink with him a little bit and he'll drink his milk and he goes like so i've noticed you've been stabbing people around here what's up with that oh yes it is what the child envisioned me for a brave warrior who defeats vile foes well that's radical well i'm here to try to protect my captain oh yes yes yes yes yes the one the one the one that that vikon sharkskin has has ordered us to do our best to protect in these trying times yeah we appreciate it it's like you know i hope my captain can one day find you know happiness and clarity and stuff did your did your captain ever find that there's like a black sort of like gloom that comes over the over the scene as like the lighting around the toy just seems to naturally dim no no he did not oran puts like a little hand on his shoulder died in a bed with all of us around him no we did what we could the disease was too much and then we made a pact that we would endure that we would do our best to carry on so that we might make his legacy worthwhile and that one day we might all find death ourselves what that's rad cheers cheers to that he drinks cheers to you too he picks up the uh he picks up like the the sword and the shield begins to like march away go day i'd like like you could just hear like like milk like continue to rattle out of his interior that's all i got man you were you were saying nah that's fine i think i think this was better than my bit i just had a stupid bit that i was gonna do and with that uh we've come back but let's let's take a break you ever wonder how we could afford all this amazing art and keep the production going 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again all right uh you guys are um you've all recently been captured by the tyrant's guild uh you're inside a jail um oh fuck you're all in the same cell together oh i think i was still high level hold on i have to go get my bad mic for this one watch out for that bear all right i rolled a kill pick turn wait wait we're back in time we can save our other party member technically yeah that's true we can save jeremy jimothy who cares whatever go get him maybe he was the other prophesized one who will unite i unite all the powers as we get the pieces he's the he's the real final boss he's gonna be like a lich there's no there's no maybe about it it's the long time comes back it's like you left me well remember remember remember uh marlene's nefarious plan involved him surviving but then bruhua showed up that is literally that was literally in her speech so and we owe it all to you rahua i'm uh i'm going to assume that as the cheering in the in the like and celebrations and drinking happen this is when baldrick and uh tanhauser uh enter back onto the scene yeah uh oh continue we're back how'd it go adley oh yeah we didn't do it uh mr rockburner's on our side right and i like loop an arm around his shoulders and like slap him on the chest smiles but seriously no of course i'm with you from from the now until the next life and the life after i want to sense motive really yeah sure yeah sure yeah i want to stare into his fucking soul that's a 10 on the die for total of 30 he's very perceptive um he's he's very fixated on on veena and probably would follow veena into the next life yes getting getting the sensation that mr rockburner is uh trying to get on her side so he could be like ah yes and now yeah we are we are set to be married let's go ah i push turn it to arnold can i try a sense mode yeah for sure of course yeah i mean everybody's high but this is a town full of pirates yeah this guy's to the death this is great you join in the hug oh come on this thing's not so bad yeah right yeah to put it more succinctly veena we tried to talk with her however she seemed to be very mercenary in her intentions not only that she was kind of looking for angles for the most part we'll have to see how she i get the feeling she'll be a swing boater i see so if we get ulis on our side then she'll be inclined to join us because she'll be outnumbered maybe we'll still have to probably talk with your mother well you know you're probably right you know who we don't have to talk to uh-huh this guy i'm gonna that's right i'm right here that's right you know captain rotverner have you ever learned about socialism before tanhauser yeah can you go get a drink oh yeah of course a drink for my new friend captain rotverner yeah wait wait wait you speak of socialism oh no for the people right and the thing you can do is that you can spread your wealth around and buy everyone in this room drink right now distributing you dude you know what that's the least reactionary thing i've ever heard someone say drinks for everyone baldrick i need some money the bartender looks over to tanhauser and says hello brother please drink whiskey okay i sure thing i will mr bartender can the bartender like also look like baldrick but like he has the actual triangle helmet the problem is is the bartender the bartender is an automaton so he's a little bit more he's he's impassionate his head can be any shape you want it to be yeah i just want him to have the triangle bucket i don't care what he is he just says i i escaped here after being chased and outset for many years i was built i was built to model for wanted posters and now in my long and old age i can finally retire as an owner of a bar in a pirate town where the value of my bar depreciates consistently and repeatedly one of the wishes comes in and fires an uzi kill check this out a black car helicopter behind him down it goes again i do love depreciating value of my bar you know if you wanted a bar that wouldn't depreciate in value you could ban stabbings you misunderstand sir i love it when my bar depreciates in value what he lives for sorry hi i'm finding the similarities here of we arrive at someone with a bucket like head and destroys home i i i need you to understand that discord just kicked me off and i made like a comment of like oh and then like a wish comes in with an uzi um and like it kills the bartender um and then like it was i was just met with silence and i'm like oh okay i don't kill the bartender that would be bad and it was just like still silence because discord was disconnecting i'm like guys guys are you like really really connected to this nbc guys guys they're saying it's really not fucking cool what you did to the park so guys everyone doesn't have a bartender everyone don't talk at thurston for three seconds okay thurston yeah i am perfectly happy to lose value in my bar i wanted to depreciate so badly that i will have to pay someone to take it this is part of who i am don't take this from me oh so how much i hate i hate that accent because it reminded me of like a a skit from a very weird like british tv show called man to man with dean learner so thank you for that please drink whiskey okay i ever told you like the the most horrible thing you can do to somebody in like a social environment what oh no this oh yeah this thing uh so basically you target one person that they'll never know about this and you you continuously talk like you're normal and stuff like but every time they talk you shut up stop and stare at them you just do that for like a good solid couple seconds and then you turn back around and start talking to everybody else you do not talk to that person but every time they try to talk to you you stop and stare at them that's diabolical so that's what you were doing at k barbecue yeah i was wondering about that oh oh yeah no that's an evil fucking thing that's darkness that's black magic yeah you do that that person will not like you anymore ever there's there's a whole rolodex of creative ways i have to get people not to like me and i'm adding that into it um how much of baldrick's money do i spend on money or on boosts roll a 1d1 roll a 1d 100 all the bartenders one for one dollar traces how much how much how much money do i take from one of verndale's characters and give to another of her i would like you to know something very important if you wish to purchase libations that will allow you to become friends with everyone i ask that you roll this and he pinches from beneath the bar a 100 sided die and passes it to tanhauser 64 very good i shall get out the whiskey i can only imagine what else i could have rolled if you had rolled anything other than 64 i would have served poison that's just how it is here this place sucks yeah welcome to you roll 64. it serves whiskey it's not dry here i don't understand orin togs on vena's coat why would it not be dry here we're in the air i don't get it it's not dry what's up warren it's like i'm and i know everyone likes drinking but since we got i assume this guy's on our side but is there anybody else we need to talk to we're on a timer is that's true we are on a timer as much as i would love to get drunk right now there is ulis at the arena so i'm going to uh uh look at robert one more time we're counting on you we are counting on your support bud of course you can always count on me okay so when the time comes you're gonna say that they shouldn't drown me or hang me or shoot me or whatever even if even if the dread captain says that she would prefer to drown me or shoot me or whatever all right can you promise me that he looks into your eyes into your soul into your very being of course all right i got you didn't even have to shameless request him and i pat his shoulder hand him a drink all right we're gonna go fight in the arena you also have the support of me the bart ender bartender are you a vikon no we have the bartender's support which means he is probably one of the most important people in this town because he runs the bar i just wanted you to know though that i can offer you something even more powerful than what a vikon can offer yeah is it whiskey his arm slowly raises up from beneath the bar and he gives you an earnest thumbs up thank you bartender thank you a real homie please drink whiskey yeah man i'll drink whiskey can i have a glass of that please that's gonna be a shirt just please please drink whiskey that's just gonna be our convention shirt from now on they don't know that in the town of the pirate the bartender is the most powerful person especially literally true especially if the most powerful pirate's name is bart they call him the bartender because he ended old big bart big bart and big bart very tall bart yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna slam back a glass of whiskey and then i'm gonna be like all right to the arena thank you rahua i knew i could count on you you are the most perfect chaotic being i'm three years old yeah man i'm so glad i'm glad too rua drinks again failing to do so the the law refuses to let him drink every time he tries he just gets a pop-up says you can't do this right now you can't do this right now a bunch of oblivion guards begin rushing at him welcome i'm gonna get crushed into the ceiling goodbye nightmare all right so i'm gonna gather up so ready to go to the arenas and kick some ass absolutely i look forward to only being slightly betrayed all right i'll do the talking this time since i am i guess the um the government assigned dps in this group what are you talking about what the hell does that mean you know i i read it in a book once when i knew how to read did you burn it afterwards wait you forgot how to read yeah i just forgot what do you mean you forgot alcoholism is scary kids can anyone in this party read my literature yes i can i just choose not to i i've only you've read my literature right yeah but i'm an anarcho-primitivist i don't give a shit about communism oh my god the toy soldier in the night armor uh approaches orin on the way out hey man i want you to know that you will do fine in the arena i am rooting for you alas i can have come the vikon is bringing the crew together in support of you we will be ready to help you retake the vessel i look forward to going in battle alongside you it seems he's man he kind of gives him like a little bro like little little bro fist like yes yes i cannot wait we shall have yes instead of them 87 times you best believe if i'm ever started out that's going to be an ability i have before version of the 1000 needles yeah exactly 87 stabs orin will uh i gotta do something real quick um and he he will approach uh rot burner as everyone else is kind of leaving leaving and stuff leaving kind of hanging back and be like oh hello my young friend uh orin will um will look over at the smashed corpse that were who is left behind and he will look at rot burner just kind of eyes locking with him as he takes a remnant of his arm and just bites into it taking a good chunk of flesh and starts chewing and going i remember people who mess with my captain takes another bite and just as he kind of munches a little bit and goes i hope you remember that and he can i roll intimidation yeah yes no no yeah that's sick as hell yeah this is awesome i mean i just said about intimidate being a short-term game long-term i got 34 16 16 on the die for a total of 34. hello uh i will i will remember this like the the weird like like accent kind of drops as he just stares at you a bit it's a fake accent yeah what do you think he like seriously talks the entire life like ma'am come away with me no of course not orin drops the arm drops the arm as he's in just just leaves it there silently as he returned back to everyone he's already like brushed the blood off his mouth and said like sorry about that toy soldier guy wanted to talk to me uh miss veena he says the crew's ready to fight for the uh uh for the crown with you up in the sky whenever you're ready hell yeah that's awesome you know orin you're such a nice guy i'm so glad i ruffle his hair no thanks thanks miss veena oh i think you got a little something in your teeth huh oh like you go oh well there's time did i get it yeah yeah what was that oh i found i found some meat on the on the table no one was looking oh okay yeah we love mystery meat let's go yeah i was hungry happens the bartender returns to the kitchen where he has roasted a whole person oh he just he just has bodies back there like how else are you supposed to get rid of the people that die in the goddamn bar mr he makes a wonderful stew don't worry don't i'm not worried don't i'm fucking worried i will never worry all right we're gonna go to the arenas yeah it's gonna be perfectly fine um um okay okay so making your way to the arena uh no you can't say it like that okay you can't you have to say it right okay to the arena there you go okay you gotta be like welcome to the arena gotta really get your wes johnson on yeah you gotta get your oblivion announcer going okay i don't know if you know the bit that we're doing here this is vague but yes oblivion is one of our stupidest meme games and of course we reference everything like it's a joke victor from the blue team yeah so grilled chicken we're referencing the game so eat grilled chicken and rest rest now you've earned it earned it sorry you're you're fucked man capitalize now thurston all right we go to the arena all right i was just gonna go more with like duncan fisher quotes from solaris 7 but that's i'll take it i'll take it i'll take it i'll take it whatever man all of our influences here so yeah i know i know i know i'm i'm going more with the mech warrior but that's fine that's fine that's fine i i know there's people out there who who love oblivion i i i i need to play it more i'm a bad bad human um to the arena all right so you make your way doorway to the arena which is a fascinating um space here in the city because it's not just like one battlefield it's eight of them um different battlefronts that have been established with sort of like viewing galleries and pits one of them completely submerged one of them is some sort of like maybe acid lake with with different like hopping points and islets to fight on um one of them seems to be a more traditional like sand with with rock um makeup like as though it used to be a part of a beach with rocks and even like a dilapidated boat that's been strung off to the side uh and one of them is just like a section of city that has had a um had a raised area placed around it so people can watch like alley fights oh that's really good yeah you you sort of like walk around all of this and there's fights going on like in the alley there's clearly two people who are just like fisticuffs engaging as like maybe a dozen people watch and throw like coppers on the winner uh hoping to make a little bit of extra coin uh in the underwater arena there is actually like a fishing derby that's happening uh but one of the fishermen pulls out a knife and stabs the other fishermen not quite 87 times uh but then turns into like a brawl at close quarters uh where one man is using a knife and the other man is trying to bludgeon the other to death with his fishing rod i love this city right city we got a quite a beautiful culture out here yeah sure is isn't it let's go find the vicond and uh what would i know which of the arenas the vicond usually hangs around or do i do i have to ask you begin to to look around give me a perception check all right perception check i could hear a point that in fact i probably will just to save us some time that's not that much better but i got the plus 10 so that's a 39 you see who is clearly uh vicond blessing the boar eulish uh the vicond is standing over uh the the sandy sort of beach swept arena uh imperiously looking down from stands uh her gaze locks over to all of you as you uh enter into the area she's a heavily scarred woman uh very lean but muscular dark skin she has an impressive necklace a corset that raises up her bust she has a jacket on top uh and she just looks like someone who has seen a lot in her life oh hello ma'am so go johnny bravo oh mama true vicon ulus i'm gonna call out to her and raise a hand well well well what do we have over there is that a is that a little vena i spy with my eyes not so little not so little anymore ma'am she comes over to you all six foot three hmm looks at your companions one has a big goofy smile smiling so neatly all right i give i heard about what went on it looks like you're looking for a blessing for me you know you gotta earn that that i do so which one are you offering up how do you mean i don't think i don't think the one with the wings as much maybe the bucket guy's feisty all right sure fighting no no no who i'm putting in the area oh you want to fight yeah we could do that of course we want to fight what was your other option well if you're gonna trade one to be in my roster of monsters oh no no no you don't get to keep these ones these ones this is uh we're a crew could keep her sticks together no we're not giving crunch away the right crunch isn't for sale unless the price is really high is that a troll sounds like a troll name i like trolls but it's it's the guy he's just but we know he's just a big man oh you ever heard of no yeah you've heard of a guy you've heard of guile so my vicond what exactly do we need to beat to a pulp to get your vote oh i'm not telling you you're gonna go in the arena and you'll find out when you're there oh surprises i do love a surprise you know it'll be kind of the point i appreciate it but straightforward this is but you know if i do that looks over some of you might die but definitely the bird nah again i don't know how wily the bucket is oh man my lady vicond i can assure you we have survived the stuff of legends we have fought a living manifestation of a god and looking at look at us all here we're still standing we fought a rot-infested dragon you start hearing chalk like chalk writing happening all around you now and like ulis just like shakes her head slightly you didn't have to why did you do that why'd you hype us up now they're gonna throw something now now i have to look at the odds now and like you could see that all around are bookies that are tabulating numbers now i have to throw something a bit more against you hey don't even worry about it we can take it i mean oh scary ulis you're trying to kill me prematurely huh oh god wise ma'am i'm not even letting you make a deception check for that vena it was so bad yeah understandable uh baldrick will address ulis uh ma'am did we get any extra credit for particularly violent ways of dealing with whatever you're going to throw at us i mean i do have quite a lot to use and he will open up his uh his coat to show the myriad of explosives he has available to him the rules are simple two sides enter one side leaves if you want to get some extra coin from the crowd for performances you can do that i recommend it too because if you don't the crowd's gonna start shooting you during the event yes but the question is will you like that i mean i'll give you your support if you win i don't need to butter me up too much for this i'm gonna make my coin more than just you would know that ulis is definitely not um exaggerating essentially any fights in any of these arenas have effectively a complex hazard that's the crowd and unless people routinely make like performance checks to appease the crowd the crowd will start shooting and casting spells at them that's awesome yeah you're gonna want to put on a show so give them the big guns all right but more than just your blessing in not having me drowned my lady vicond i ask for one additional boon i'm getting the crown back and if you want in on that glory then i open up that opportunity to you and i can assure you we're gonna put on a damn good show and make you some money well you survived the show first and then then we can maybe talk that is a guarantee all right all's over there you got a hour for prep in there i'll get it going looks like you've got a crowd garland sent some boys here looks like as a hell's even your mom might pop by for this one oh my mom great yeah it's gonna make the audience harder to impress oh vena don't have to appeal to her just do what you gotta do and if she likes it she likes it and if she doesn't that's not our problem if i know how to do one thing it's put on a show good enough let's do it to it so what are we fighting all right find out to find out in the arena she says take some time i'll get something real good for you can you not worthy for you no oh okay i thought i asked i really didn't think that was gonna work on it yeah all right real quick can you do a handstand yeah i do a handstand give me a performance check now you've done it i got a uh 16 for a total of 20. someone does like one of those kid handstands but it somehow works out yeah that's great all right yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna try and do a handstand okay okay all right guys you don't need to shoot you don't need to shoot the wads watch this seven oh my all right can it be pathetic can you like try to get it but you can't even lift your legs and just get like you can't like you can't do it correctly exactly like it's not like you even hurt yourself but it's one of those just embarrassing like you can't do it like oh oh uh oh i can't oh it's it has a no i can't do it i can't do it i can't do it i can't do it let me out give me out it's okay come here come here it's all right he's following he can't get up he starts crying how many how many people start scribbling the odds of survival oh oh yeah like like the odds are going down like like the odds in your favor just keep going down now can there be like those like flip number things like somewhere on a big board somewhere that everyone collectively agrees on and the percentage chance of like okay you got like a 30 chance of winning and then as soon as after that it goes 20 yeah it's called it's it's called poly pirate market and it's happening right now right here not poly pirate market uh uh wait wait wait uh baldrick i'm saving my performance for the ring like you should be fine can i get some money you hear the you hear the loud metallic heavy footsteps hello i have arrived again what the hell i didn't ask you i am here to watch the show you look like you could use some whiskey i know i it's like liquid curly courage mr tanhauser i'll take a whiskey i'll take a whiskey i pay myself i pay myself two gold and you get a whiskey i am desperately hoping that ulis is left whiskey an item in this game i'm gonna i'm gonna reach into our inventory real quick if that's okay yeah it's okay 375 gold from uh the people's loot oh okay hey i'm putting this on ourselves by the way are we allowed to do that it's a pirate town that's the rule that can't be the one rule no no no no see that's the thing you've got to be fucking sneaky about it you've got to tell somebody you've got to give somebody some money to bet on you and then they get a cut and then you get the rest are we allowed to bet on ourselves yep you can't bet on yourselves yeah it's like venus said it's exactly like venus said you have to you have to find someone you can in the pirate town trust well you know who you can trust who has your who has your back in anything i hope he keeps the gold can i help you with something android i've got a task for you my fellow mechanical man what do you need to take 375 gold and you need to go and put it on us and if you do this i'll give you a cut of the winnings do you have the money now yeah i say as i reach into the people's loot pocket dimension where glub tops floating quartz is the bartender takes the sack of gold and he carefully weighs it for a few moments before he reaches down and gently places the sack on top of your head there i have placed the gold on you i look at i look at the bike count does this count i think she's like on his left yeah it's illegal it's just illegal the bart the bartender takes the 375 gold and goes to invest it in the fight betting on your behalf that you will win handily and you will do so without talking about communism once it's like sports betting where they have those like hyper specific bets yeah but it's like your team doesn't just have to win that certain players have to do certain things that's the only way that's the only way that they'll accept that bet the only way they'll accept the bet is because that adds so much stake to it that they'll even that they will thirst and i'm narratively declaring yes my man next time if we manage to go the whole bout without tannhauser mentioning communism once that we will get quadruple that amount well well i also i see i like that you're i like that you're you're in on that and like omitting the way you started it which was win handily which is what i was which winning handily in my mind says that we don't die maybe we don't need to win handily maybe we just win we win without him mentioning communism once will you accept this narrative declaration thurston that we get quadruple that money if we manage to win without a single mention of communism courtesy of bart ender a character you gave to me to play hey uh chat come into my office for a second all right don't listen to him come here come here come here chat he doesn't rule you're going into my office uh zoran can you close the door for a sec no okay i'll get the door here you go thirsty thanks thank you hang on i can do i can do that even better yeah okay perfect thank you okay hi hi chat hi hi everybody hi hi thanks like i said you're looking good today um so if i accept this i feel like i feel like it's the way to go right but i feel like if i accept it i'm gonna need your backing of the next episode right like you're you're gonna be there for me right to to enforce this law right and that that if if if communism is mentioned once during uh during this fight and like we can also extend that to you know semi-related like you know if there's a marxist comment or something i think that's part of the but you're gonna you're gonna have my back on this right you're you're all here for me right okay good i just i'm glad we could have this discussion it really it really it really makes me happy um you know next day when i come into the office i'll bring some donuts for everybody um i really appreciate you i also think that um you know you all deserve a hero point um and um that hero point can also be used during the fight uh if you want me to re-roll any dice so uh you you have that power remind me of that next time all right thanks uh uh uh uh but or no can you open the door all right all right good welcome back okay hi everybody uh chat and i talked it over uh i think we have a solid plan here and i will accept uh i will accept the offer that was placed on the table we're gonna make so much money all right but you have to remember the the you have to remember the terms of the bet tanny yeah i can't well what are you gonna do with that money we'll find out next time next time i'm trying you know what that's a great that's a great that's a great that's a great i didn't want to go because there were several moments where we could have done that and i was like i don't know if this is where you wanted to end it this is perfect this is perfect 10 out of 10. oh my gosh thank you all for watching this amazing episode of what uh rock grind catch everyone's socials down below please follow them in their amazing projects and we will see you guys next time for rock grind goodbye bye