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What Makes You Happy? · Effective Communication

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Speaker 1: And now effective communication with Phil Zeller CEO Dale Carnegie,
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Speaker 1: Southwest Michigan. If you're happy, end you know, clap your hands.
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Speaker 1: If you're happy and you know it, Clap your hands.
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Speaker 1: If you're happy, end you know it, Then your face
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Speaker 1: will shirley show it. If you're happy, end you know it,
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Speaker 1: clap your hands. Remember that one from our childhood. Oh yeah,
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Speaker 1: there's a golden oldie from your past, my friends. Remember
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Speaker 1: we used to sing that. Put that smile on your face.
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Speaker 1: Heck yeah, the song goes on. There's so many things
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Speaker 1: we can do to bring this joy and happiness into
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Speaker 1: our life if we only took the opportunity just to
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Speaker 1: take a simple action like a smile, as Dale Carnegie said,
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Speaker 1: we can smile and put that brightness back into our life.
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Speaker 1: And we could do that. We just got to take
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Speaker 1: some actions. Here, sing a little song today, all right,
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Speaker 1: sing a little diddy, go sing your favorite song, just
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Speaker 1: singing out loud, you know, roll up the windows here
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Speaker 1: in the car. It's cold everywhere in the United States
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Speaker 1: at this time year. Anyway, go ahead and sing a
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Speaker 1: snappy tune that puts a smile on your face. Today.
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Speaker 1: I want to share with the un effective communication about
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Speaker 1: this thing of making yourself happier and understanding what's happy
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Speaker 1: and what's unhappy. Somebody asked me online, you know, Phil,
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Speaker 1: how would you define happy? Well, look up the definition
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Speaker 1: that fits for you, is what I would say, find
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Speaker 1: the definition that works for you of happiness, because there's
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Speaker 1: some different definitions out there. But the question at the
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Speaker 1: end of the day is what do you think? And
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Speaker 1: I'll give you a quote from Dale Carnegie because this
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Speaker 1: really nails it down the head. Dale Carnegie said, it
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Speaker 1: isn't what you have, or who you are, or where
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Speaker 1: you are or what you are doing that makes you
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Speaker 1: happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.
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Speaker 1: So what do you think about? What do you think about?
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Speaker 1: What runs through your mind? Counterr blessings? Or do you
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Speaker 1: feel as if the world's against you and it's a
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Speaker 1: really difficult place. How do you choose to look at it?
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Speaker 1: There's been so many studies done on this in the
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Speaker 1: world of psychology to understand how you perceive things, and
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Speaker 1: of course, as we look at things, we want to
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Speaker 1: become more effective in the way that we communicate and relate.
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Speaker 1: We have to take ownership of what are our thoughts,
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Speaker 1: what are our thoughts and a given situation and how do
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Speaker 1: we want to address this situation. And a lot of
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Speaker 1: times in life, we go through really difficult times in
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Speaker 1: our life where you know, things are thrust upon us
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Speaker 1: and we want to go negative, but we realize that's
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Speaker 1: not going to make the situation better. It's actually going
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Speaker 1: to make it worse for everybody involved. And I can
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Speaker 1: recall when my dad's life started to come towards the
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Speaker 1: end and he was struggling and had to go to
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Speaker 1: the emergency room multiple times, and we had to find
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Speaker 1: a place for him to live because he could no
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Speaker 1: longer take care of himself and his home. And I
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Speaker 1: remember sitting out talking with him and I would say, Dad,
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Speaker 1: you know, you know, we're going to get to a
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Speaker 1: place where you can be happy, and he goes, I'm
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Speaker 1: happy where I'm at. And I said, Dad, are you
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Speaker 1: happy with what you're going through? And he said absolutely not.
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Speaker 1: And of course he wasn't happy. Nobody wants to, you know,
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Speaker 1: die in old age, and nobody wants to go through that.
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Speaker 1: Maybe there are some people, but the majority of people
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Speaker 1: are not looking forward to that. Body hurts, mind hurts,
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Speaker 1: things hurt. And he said to me. He goes, well,
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Speaker 1: I understand, I understand I've got to make a change.
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Speaker 1: And I said, well, let's find a place that's like
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Speaker 1: a home, where you can get everything you need, where
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Speaker 1: you could be happy and have it some way the
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Speaker 1: way you like it, but get the care you need
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Speaker 1: to take care of you so you can enjoy it.
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Speaker 1: How's that sound He goes, okay, I'll take a look
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Speaker 1: at that. So we started to look at retirement homes
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Speaker 1: he could go to, and he was very clear on
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Speaker 1: what he didn't want. If you've gone through the situation
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Speaker 1: with one of your parents, what they didn't want and
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Speaker 1: what he didn't want is he didn't want to be
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Speaker 1: in an institution and where it felt like a hospital.
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Speaker 1: That's not what he wanted. He said, I don't want
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Speaker 1: to be an institution. I don't want to see medical
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Speaker 1: equipment in the hallways. I don't want wheelchairs all over
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Speaker 1: the place. I want it to feel like a home.
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Speaker 1: I said, all right, Dad, what else? Well, that's it.
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Speaker 1: I wanted to be home. And it goes the other
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Speaker 1: thing is this, I don't want to sit around wait
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Speaker 1: to die, and I don't want to be with people
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Speaker 1: who are waiting to die. I don't want to be
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Speaker 1: in that environment. So find me a place like a
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Speaker 1: home where people could do things, have a good time,
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Speaker 1: and they're living the best they can and get in
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Speaker 1: the care they need. And oh my gosh, once he
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Speaker 1: shared that with me, that is what would make him happy,
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Speaker 1: we found it. We found it. We looked around and
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Speaker 1: we found a place like that, and we took him
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Speaker 1: over there and I shared with my I said, is
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Speaker 1: remember when you told me you wanted a place comfortable,
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Speaker 1: a home. Does this feel like a home? Yes? It does.
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Speaker 1: Do they have activities that keep people moving and doing things?
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Speaker 1: Yes they do. Do you see people waiting around to die? No?
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Speaker 1: I don't. Isn't this a great place? Dad? Well? Yeah,
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Speaker 1: I could see myself here. And we got him moved in.
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Speaker 1: It was a beautiful thing. But it's what did he
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Speaker 1: think about that mattered the most. Now, sure they still
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Speaker 1: had medical stuff and all the things they need to
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Speaker 1: take care of senior citizens, but the point being is
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Speaker 1: the minimalistically, the things that would make them happy were
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Speaker 1: taken care of. We checked those boxes. So my challenge
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Speaker 1: to you is, think about it. What makes you happy minimally?
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Speaker 1: What would you want and if you can find those
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Speaker 1: things for yourself and the people you care about. You
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Speaker 1: could check the boxes, and that's what matters the most.
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Speaker 1: The other stuff ancillary. Ask yourself what makes you happy.
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Speaker 1: You've earned it, now, go'll make it happen.