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Andy Stanley - You're Not The Boss Of Me Part 1 From the Heart · Andy Stanley Sermons

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Now today, we're actually beginning a brand new series that I'm super excited about.
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It's called You're Not the Boss of Me. You're Not the Boss of
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Me, and the subtitle is how to say No to the emotions that compete
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for control? How to say no to the emotions that compete for control?
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And the good thing is this, we all have this in common. None
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of us really enjoy being told what to do. Whether it's an emotion inside
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of us or it's a person outside of us, but none of us enjoy
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being told what to do. And we discover this very early in life.
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If you're a parent, you know that it's sort of built into human beings
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not to want to do what they're told to do. You have to kind
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of discipline the know out of your kids. But this just isn't a child
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thing. This is an adult thing too. I mean, really, the
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American dream is all about having the power of the money to say no to
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whoever you want to say no to, right, isn't that it? I
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mean, the American dream is autonomy. Autonomy is what I want to do
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when I want to do it, with enough money to pay for it and
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enough money to keep me out of trouble once I get caught. Let me
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go over that again. Okay. Yes, Autonomy is the ability or the
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power of the freedom to do what I want to do when I want to
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do it, with enough money to do what I want to do, and
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enough money to get me out of trouble in case I ever get caught.
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And this is kind of an alluring goal. And if you heard me say
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that and said Andy, you said we, So are you part of the
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we? No, I'm above all that. Of course I'm part of the
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wei. Right. I mean, there's just something in all of us that
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doesn't want it wants to be in a position where nobody tells us what to
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do. And it's an alluring goal. And the reason it's such a tempting
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goal and an alluring goal or something that we kind of set out there even
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though we know we probably won't achieve it, is that we're convinced, or
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speaking for me, I'm convinced, but I bet you're convinced, and I
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know that you're convinced that once I can call my own shots, I'll call
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all the right shots. This is what we think. We all think.
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This, This is why you are so baffled by and I'm so baffled by
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We're all so baffled by people who have extraordinary autonomy. I mean, they've
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kind of made it. They got the money, they got the margin,
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they got all the stuff, you know, and then they make some bonehead
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decision where they undermine their own autonomy and they give up their own freedom because
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of a decision they made, and we think, why would you do that?
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You made it, why would you give up what most people can't achieve?
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And then when we read their story or hear their story, after we
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get over that awful part in us that we're gonna talk about in a few
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weeks, that awful part in us that's kind of like, yes, don't
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you feel that sometimes It's like when their life comes tumbling down and you're like,
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oh, that's terrible, yes, because there's ickiness inside of you.
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We're gonna talk about that and inside of me too. But then once we
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kind of get over that and we hear their story, we think, not
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me, that wouldn't happen to me, right, I mean, if I
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had that kind of money, that kind of margin, that kind of autonomy,
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if I had that kind of freedom, I would be so careful.
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I would not have done what they did. I wouldn't do what she did.
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I wouldn't do what they did. I wouldn't do what he did because
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I would protect that autonomy. And maybe that's true. Maybe that's true,
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but for that to be true, there there is something you must do.
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So I to kind of get us started in this series, I wrote a
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little poem, and I want to read you my little poem that's going to
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kind of direct us as to where we're going to go for the next few
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weeks. Because this is so important for all of us. And it doesn't
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matter if you're a Christian or not a Christian. This is a people thing.
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And we're going to talk about the Jesus part of this, because Jesus
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speaks to this. But this is something all of us wrestle with, and
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all of us struggle with, an all of us intersect at some point in
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our lives. So here's my poem as it relates to not having anybody tell
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us what to do. Our need of supervision may someday come to an end
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if we silence the toxic voices that come from within. Thank you, thank
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you, thank you. Okay, yeah, one more time. Our need
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of supervision your need of supervision. It may one day come to an end
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only if we silence the toxic voices that actually come from within. Here's the
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negative version, just to make sure you know where we're going. Our need
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of supervision will never come to an end until we silence the toxic voices that
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come from within. Because the truth is, for all of us, we
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don't get in trouble because we won't take advice. Most of the time.
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We get in trouble because we take our own advice, and our own advice
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is always I mean, there's no way around this. Our own advice is
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always filtered through the emotions that distort reality for us, or our sense of
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reality. This is why people look at you and say you did what,
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and then you look at you later and go, I did what? What?
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What was what was I thinking? What was going on? Why did
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that happen? Because there is in us a tendency to take our own advice,
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and our own advice always gets filtered through our emotions and our distorted view
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In fact, that actually distorts our viewer distorts our sense of reality. So
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thus our subtitle how to this is a how to series how to Say no
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to the emotions that compete for control. Now I want you to think for
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just a moment that we're going to move on, what is the primary emotion?
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This won't take take you long. Don't answer this for anybody else,
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and don't ask anyone this later unless they volunteer the information. But what is
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the emotion that competes for control of your life? I'm gonna tell you mine
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maybe next week or the next week, just based on how I feel.
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Okay, But all of us have sort of a primary thing that surfaces pretty
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quickly, and it competes for control of what we say, what we don't
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say, how we say it, how loudly we say it, who we
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say it to, how we say it, And it also competes for control
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in terms of what drives our our behavior. That sort of becomes the filter
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for our motivation. Now here's the thing. All of us, because we're
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adults, we have learned to monitor our behavior. I mean, we're really
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good at that. We've learned to monitor our behavior so we can get job
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interviews. We've learned to monitor our behavior and curb our behavior so we can
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actually get jobs, so we can get dates, so we can get second
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dates, so we can get third dates, so we can get married,
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so we can stay married, so that we can get our parents to do
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what we want our parents to do. And we've all learned to monitor our
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behavior. But Jesus, and this is why you should consider becoming a Jesus
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follower, even if you're not sure about everything in the Bible. Jesus invites
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us. He invited his first century followers, he invites every century followers.
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He invites us to begin take it, to take monitoring to a whole new
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level, to look past simply monitoring how we behave and begin to monitor what's
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going on inside of us. In fact, his suggestion, his suggestion,
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and if you're a Jesus follower, it's kind of a command. But his
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suggestion or command is so profound it has profoundly shaped my life. This is
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why I'm so excited about this series. It's profoundly shaped the way I do
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my marriage and manage marriage, manage my relationships, relate to people. It
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has certainly impacted the way I lead and the way I should lead. And
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the thing is is we're going to discover if what Jesus says is true.
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And of course I think he rose from the dead, and when someone rises
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from the dead and predicts it beforehand, you just say whatever you say.
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Okay, So if what Jesus says this is true, then we may all
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have some work to do. I know that when I discovered this principle that's
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gonna drive this whole series. When I discovered this many many years ago,
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it became a filter, It became a paradigm, It sort of it became
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sort of a context or a template for my entire life. And it made
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a profound, profound difference. And it still goes on because, like you,
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I have toxic voices inside of me that want to take control, and
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they communicate to me through my emotions. And if I'm not careful, I
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latch on and I let those emotions take control, and then I always have
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regrets on the other side, just like you do. But thanks to this
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insight, you're gonna discover, and I'm gonna discover with you. We're gonna
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discover together how much easier it can be to identify that bad advice that comes
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from within all of us. Here's how our adventure begins. Jesus is with
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his guys, and when you read the Gospels and we've talked about this.
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There are the apostles that were his chosen folks, and then there were the
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disciples, this crowd of people that everywhere he went there was a crowd,
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and Matthew, who was one of his chosen folks. And as you,
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if you grew up in church, you may know that Matthew had a not
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so glorious beginning at the beginning of his time with Jesus because he was a
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tax gatherer. But that meant he was wealthy, and it meant he had
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employees. And it makes sense that Matthew would actually give us an account of
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the life of Jesus because Matthew had men working for him, probably men only
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working for him who were scribes, and ascribe knew Aramaic, which was the
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language they spoke, and scribes in Jerusalem and Judea also probably knew Hebrew,
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and for sure they knew Greek, and they knew how to translated write in
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all of these languages. So it makes sense to us that in the first
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century, one of jesus stifles, Matthew would give us an account of his
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experience with Jesus. And here's what Matthew tells us happened, and Mark,
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who probably got his information from Peter, mirrors this story in his gospel as
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well. He says this, Then one day some Pharisees and teachers of the
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law came to Jesus, and Matthew was with him, came to Jesus from
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Jerusalem. And the reason he adds this detail is because this was his code
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to say, hey, they were up to something, they were after something.
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They weren't looking for a casual conversation. They were trying to trick and
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trap Jesus, because that's what they always did, to try to separate Jesus
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from the crowd. And so they got Jesus to where they could talk to
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Jesus in front of the disciples. And here's the question. They ask why,
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And they'd been set up for this question. Why do your disciples,
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the people who follow you constantly, why do your disciples break the tradition of
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the elders they don't wash their hands before they eat. Now, when we
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read this in a modern context, we think gross. But remember there was
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very little water. If water was precious, you didn't just pour water all
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over everything. But this was like a big deal. And I need to
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explain why. For where we're going today. The tradition of the Elders,
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also known in some circles as the oral Torah, was this mysterious teaching that
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supposedly, when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments and the
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other one hundred and three Commandments and gave them written in a written form to
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the nation of Israel, supposedly there was an oral Torah, or the law,
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or the tradition of the Elders, as it was later called, and
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these were the laws of God, and it was forbidden to write them down,
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which meant only a few people. Always men, a small group of
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men, knew what the oral Torah was, and they would bring it out
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and apply it to people when it was convenient, and sometimes it seemed to
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be in conflict, and sometimes it seemed to serve as commentary on the written
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Torah. Well, when you read the Gospels, Jesus wasn't buying it.
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Jesus did not believe that it was this secondary mysterious Only a handful of religious
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leaders know exactly what's in it Torah. He went for the written Torah,
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and so they, as part of the oral Torah, are the tradition of
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the Elders, as it was called. One of their rules was in order
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to keep yourself ceremonially clean as a Jew in the first century, and to
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make sure you did not accidentally accidentally violate the dietary laws, you had to
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go through a certain washing every time before you ate, so you didn't accidentally
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violate one of God's written laws as it relates to their diet. Now,
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the problem with this little law and all of these non written laws is it
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made God small and it made God petty, and Jesus just didn't buy it.
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And he said to them, oh, really, so why do you
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break the actual written command of God? And for the sake of your traditions.
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In other words, you guys just use these traditions to manipulate the people,
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and every time they do something you don't want them to do, you
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go, oh, well, and the tradition of the elders and the non
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written law, there's these laws. And so he points out their hypocrisy.
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And then you may know this if you grew up in church. He gives
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them an amazing illustration. He says, you have used these unwritten, mysterious
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laws that only you seem to know in order to actually get around the written
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law of God as it relates to taking care of your aging parents. And
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when you do that, you actually nullify the word of God or the written
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word of God for your tradition. You hypocrites. In other words, instead
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of doing what's clear, you've come up with some rules that nobody knows about
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but you, so you don't have to do the clear thing because you have
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this unclear thing that you can't write down because and Jesus is like, by
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the way, just I'm just I'm just not buying it, you hypocrites.
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Isaiah was right. Then he quotes the prophet Isaiah when he wrote about you,
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and then he quotes Isaiah to basically make his point, and he uses
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this to this. You know, this quote from Isaiah to make what we're
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gonna discover is a very very profound insight that's gonna drive our discussion for the
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next few weeks. Here's what he said. This is God speaking through Isaiah.
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These people talking about the ancient Israelites. These people honor me with their
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lips. In other words, they've learned to say all the right things ready
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for this, but their hearts are far from me. They're playing a game
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They've turned religion into a game that they can alwaigh win. I don't need
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to tell you this, but I will anyway. Religious leaders have a tendency
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of doing just that. Religious systems have a tendency of doing just that,
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creating rules to the game, and it just so happens they are always able
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to win the game because they're always able to keep the rules, and they
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use the rules to manipulate people. Well, as Jesus is going through this
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teaching, a crowd gathers because they love this, okay, because they had
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there was such tension in Jerusalem, specifically entering in Judea around the temple and
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the lawkeepers and the law teachers, because they had so diluted the actual teaching
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of God, giving it mount Sinai through their own benefit. And so whenever
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Jesus can kind of make them look foolish, a crowd gathers. So Jesus
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looks around that he's got a crowd, and then I wish I'd been there
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for this. He kind of drops a bomb, and then he drops his
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mic and he walks away. It's awesome. Here's what he said. Once
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the crowd is there, he says to the Pharisees. Listen and understand.
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Listen and understand. What goes into someone's mouth by accident is the inference.
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What goes into someone's mouth by accident because it didn't wash properly, because these
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rules you've made up, what goes into someone's mouth accidentally does not defile them.
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In other words, it does not put them at odds with God.
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God is not small, God is not petty. He's not got you.
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God. He's not gonna put you in time out for some minor, you
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know, accidental breach of etiquette. But Jesus says, he leans in.
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He says, but I'll tell you what, what comes out of their mouth,
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that is what defiles them. Then he drops his mic and he turns
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and he just walks off, and the disciples are following him, and they're
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looking back at the pharise He's like no, no, no, no,
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no, whatever, and they just kind of walk off, like take that.
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But as usual, they have no clue as to what Jesus is even
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talking about. They just know he won. He won, you know what
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he do? You know what that meant? I have no idea, but
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it just sounded like we won. And he just walked off. So it's
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like we win. They didn't have a response. Okay. So once they're
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kind of clear that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law, they
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come up to Jesus and that Matthew says, we ask him. We said,
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I'm Jesus. Just make sure you know? Did you know? But
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you should never say this to Jesus. Did you know I'm Jesus. Yes,
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I knew. Okay, But anyway, they're still figuring that out right.
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You do this too when you pray. You know, when you pray,
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you tell God stuff? Do you ever tell Gods stuff in your prayers?
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Like, Lord, did you know? It's like I'm telling It's like
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I know. In fact, this is so cool. I'm getting off topic.
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This is I love this. When Jesus taught his disciples to pray.
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In that conversation, he said this, Oh yeah, by the way,
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this is so great. Your heavenly Father knows what you need before you ask,
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but he invites you to ask anyway, because that's what people in relationship
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do. It's just so great. Anyway, Jesus, do you know that
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the Pharisees back there were a fen did when you said what you said when
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they heard what you said to them, And Jesus said, I love this
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line. He says, Look, guys, look, leave them. Leave
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them. Once upon a time it was okay to follow them. But they
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have so abandoned God's law, they have so abandoned God's intent, they have
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made religion a business. Leave them. They are blind. Guide. Such
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an offensive thing to say. If the blind lead the blind, both will
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fall into a pit. And this was a common saying that he applied to
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this specific situation. Now here's the problem. Okay, they were gonna get
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to how this affects you with me. Here's the problem. When Jesus said
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what he said about the dietary law or not dietarily When he said what he
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said about it doesn't matter what you put in this matters what comes out of
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your mouth, or not what you put in your mouth, what comes out
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of your mouth, it sounded like he was kind of dismissing the entire mosaic
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law as it related to the dietary law, which he was not doing.
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But they needed some reassuring because he is already being accused of violating the law,
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and Jesus did not violate the law. In fact, Jesus kept the
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law perfectly and so but you know, this is a little weird, and
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you know, what goes in your mouth doesn't defile you. But it seems
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like Moses said different. So that Peter speaks up for the for the group
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and he says this, okay, would you please explain that parable to us.
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I mean, I know we look all cocky like, yeah, but
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we are what And I think and you know, you read these lines like
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I'm gonna show you, and it sounds like Jesus being stern and you know,
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abrasive, And maybe he was, but I don't think so. I
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think maybe he just kind of ruffled Peter's hair and said, really, are
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you still so dull? You know, come on, guys, you know,
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you know, step it up, pay attention. You still don't get
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it. And then he stops and explains, Now, if you haven't been
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paying attention so far, I need you to hear this part. Okay,
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listen in this next moment, in this next statement, the next part of
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the conversation Jesus. Jesus allows us to catch a glimpse of what is most
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valuable to him and what is most important to his heavenly father. And this
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next this next statement, Jesus tips his hat once again. I mean,
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it's no secret he's trying to underscore this in a very very religious environment.
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He tips his hat as to what is most important to God, what's most
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important to him, and what should be most important to me, and what
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should be most important to you. And here's a little spoiler alert. God
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is not most concerned. God is not most concerned with how our behavior affects
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him. Now, let me just say something about that. We're gonna move
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on. If you are part of a religious system, any religion, including
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Christianity, if you're part of a church, or you're a part of a
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system, or you're a part of an organization where people stand on a platform
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like this with a microphone and they're powerful, dynamic speakers, you know,
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and you just think, oh, it's the voice of God. They must
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be so, you know, they're just I don't know, they're just anointed
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by God. No, they probably have a microphone and a deep voice.
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That's that's all that is. Okay, it's a gift. Okay. But
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if you're a part of any religious tradition where somebody in my position tells you
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you ought to do this, and you have to do this in order to
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keep God happy and to keep God's love and to stay in God's good graces,
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and it has everything to do with some sort of formal religious tradition.
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You should run away and you should follow Jesus, because Jesus could not have
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been clearer than he's about to be. And he was consistent throughout his entire
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ministry that the law was given not to keep God happy, that the mosaic
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law that we're not even a part of, but that was given to the
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ancient Jews. It was not given that you got to do these things to
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keep me happy. And that whole idea got transferred into Protestantism, into the
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churches and all kinds of denominations and other religions as well. And Jesus is
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like, no, this stuff was given to you for you and for your
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best, with your best interest in mind. God is not trying to keep
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himself happy by controlling and manipulating your behavior. So here's what he says,
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Are you still so dull? And then this is so cool. In fact,
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this is Jesus humor. But we don't get it because when we read
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this, we're reading the Bible and we put on soft music, and there
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couldn't possibly be anything funny in here, because it's the Bible. Okay,
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these are real people with real relationships, and this is Jesus humor. So
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Jesus stops. He's kind of said, oh, you're so dull. Do
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you still not get it? And I think he smiles and he says,
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look, don't you see guys, that whatever enters the mouth goes into the
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stomach and then out of the body, to which they thought, we are
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not that dull. I mean, I think he had a big grin on
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his face. Don't you see that. Let's just go over this slow,
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guys, Okay, in case you haven't been paying attention to your own bodies,
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that whatever you put in your mouth, it goes through the body,
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into the stomach and out of the body. And they're like, okay,
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and they're laughing. Yes, we see that. In fact, we actually
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see that a couple times a day. Now, here's here's Jesus's point.
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Okay, okay, here's jesus point. If something, by chance that's awful
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goes into your body, what happens to it? It just goes straight through
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your body and it comes right out no harm done to anyone. Then he
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straightens up and he says, but but the things that come out of a
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person's mouth, the things that come out of the other end, Now that's
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a whole another story, that your heavenly Father is more concerned about what comes
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out of here than what goes into here. In fact, the things that
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come out of here, he says, those are the things, and he
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uses kind of a religious word, those are the things that defile them.
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This carried religious implications. To be defiled was to be at odds with God.
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And he says, you want to know what puts you at odds with
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God? Not accidentally eating the wrong thing, not accidentally violating a tradition,
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not accidentally doing anything. The thing that puts you at odds with God is
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when what comes out of your mouth puts you at odds with the people.
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God loves. What comes out of our mouths can put us at odds with
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the people with people, which puts us at odds with God. This was
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the theme of Jesus teaching that God loves the you behind you, next to
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you, in front of you, and beside you at work, beside you
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in the car, beside you in your neighborhood. God loves those people.
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So when you do anything that hurts someone God's God loves. God is concerned
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about that. That's how you defile yourself, not by offending God, because
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God is so sensitive and God has four things you got to always do to
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keep him happy. Jesus is going, now we're changing all that. That's
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over with. In fact, that's never even actually been the case. But
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that's not even his main point. That's a sub point. His main point
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is what I'm going to read to you next, because I left part of
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the verse out. Here's what Jesus said, and now we're gonna dive deep
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into where we're going for these next few weeks. But the things Jesus said,
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this is so powerful. But the things that come out of a person's
22:57
mouth, they from the heart of that person. They originate within They originate
23:07
from within our heart. And these things that originate inside of us that eventually
23:14
come out of us, those are the things that set put them at odds
23:18
with God, because they put them at odds with people. God loves.
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The source, the source of your defiling, the source of your offensive,
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the source of your problematic words and deeds is within you. Now when you
23:37
hear that, I don't know how you respond to that. You may go,
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oh, duh, you haven't told me anything. I don't know,
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or you may be pushed back and say no, no, no, no,
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no, no, come on, Andy. Not everything I say comes
23:45
from my heart. I mean, Andy, Sometimes sometimes I say things I
23:48
don't mean. I think Jesus would push back. I think he might say
23:53
this. What you should say is sometimes you say things you don't mean to
23:59
say out loud, but you met them because they came out of you.
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And in that moment, in that moment when your behavior modification skills were you
24:11
know, kind of weakened by an emotion or by a situation or whatever it
24:14
might be, in that moment, your heart was showing. It came out
24:19
of you because it's in you. Here's what we said for out of the
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heart, this is he goes so deep, for out of the heart come
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evil thoughts. From out of the heart come evil thoughts. Now we're not
24:33
going to get into the specific step. It's the heart. Here is the
24:34
physical heart. You know, he's talking about this thing. He's talking about
24:37
human experience, that there is something in us that we are aware that's in
24:41
us. And we're aware when it's coming out of us, and we're even
24:45
aware when it's like oh no, oh no. And then it comes out
24:48
of us, and it's like we're a third party watching ourselves totally undermine our
24:52
marriage, our relationship with one of our kids, or something at work,
24:53
and it's like, Huh, how did I say that? Why did I
24:56
say that? That's what he's talking about. He says, from within you
25:00
come these evil thoughts. And then he's so smart. He's so smart.
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He points to what some of us had to learn when we went to school,
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and some of us are still figuring out that all of those problematic behaviors
25:11
begin with a thought. Right, everything begins with the thought. He said,
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out of the heart come evil thoughts of murder. Every murder begins with
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the thought. Adultery begins with the mind and the heart, immorality, theft,
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false testimony, slander. The gospel writer Mark when he recorded this conversation,
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he added other things that Jesus said. Jesus had also greed comes from
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the heart, malice, deceit, envy, arrogance, and I love this
25:37
word because we don't use it, and folly, folly, Yeah, you
25:41
know what, Folly is Folly is just bad judgment. And your greatest regrets
25:47
relationally were the result of bad judgment, unwise decisions. You look back and
25:52
think, how could I have been so foolish? How could I have been
25:55
so stupid? Why would I Why would I do such a thing, Why
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would I think such a thing, Why would I consider such a thing.
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It's folly, those embarrassing, despicable, relationship killing, career killing, financially
26:07
debilitating behaviors. Jesus says, their source is in your heart. And he
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says, guys, ladies, these are the things that defile a person.
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These are what put you at odds with God, because these are the things
26:25
that put you at odds with people God loves. But he says, come
26:30
on, eating with unwashed hands. Ah, it's nothing. Now, one
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more thing. Then we're gonna get super specific. But this is very important.
26:40
Religious rituals and traditions can be very very important and meaningful to us,
26:48
but they are not a means by which you keep God happy and satisfied.
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And this is where the Church and this is where other religions get it wrong.
26:56
And Jesus was so consistent about this. Words. For example, I
27:00
love to pray on my knees. I love to pray amenies, and I
27:03
learned this from my dad. And there's something about a posture that does something
27:07
to our hearts or mind. So I love to pray on minies. But
27:10
praying on my knees does it. God's not up in heaven going. Man,
27:12
we're gonna answer his prayer because everybody else is driving. And God help
27:15
me get the thing right, and Lord help me get the deal right.
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And God help me get the thing over there. And oh man, they're
27:22
clothed, and you know, but Andy, I mean, dude, he
27:23
got up early, he's on his knees. Come over here, look at
27:26
that. Okay, we're gonna answer it. Just go ahead whatever he says.
27:30
Now, how it works. My tradition of praying amnis doesn't win me
27:33
points with God. It's meaningful for me. And regardless of what your religious
27:37
upbringing is, there are probably traditions that are very meaningful for you. They
27:41
are for you, they're not for God, and you should never abandon those
27:47
If they're meaningful for you, if they help you connect with God, you
27:49
you should be all and never give those things up. And don't let anybody
27:52
ever discredit those things, but they don't give you credit with God. They're
27:56
from God for you. How you treat is what makes all the difference.
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Read what Jesus said, missing mass, missing mass. You may miss it,
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but God's not going like, oh great, she missed masks. In
28:10
fact, she's miss mass three. Okay, okay, put her down,
28:11
put put that on an interfolder. Okay, that's not how it works.
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Missing communion, missing church, missing your quiet time, you know, missing
28:18
prayer time. Oh no, And he's not on his knees he got up
28:21
too late. Okay, you know, he doesn't don't pay any attention an
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think. No, these these are for us. These are not the things
28:27
that defile a person. It's how you treat the people that God loves.
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And so Jesus says, Look, it's not what goes in, it's what
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comes out, and what comes out comes out of what's in there. It
28:41
came out of there because it was all ready in there. So here's what
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we're gonna do for the next few weeks. This is gonna be so much
28:45
fun for me. Anyway. We are going to practice. We are going
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to practice monitoring. You're good at monitoring your behavior. Most all of you
28:53
sat quiet and still through this whole message, and you've watched it home and
28:57
you're thinking about something else entirely, not even listening to me. But you're
29:00
so polite. I appreciate it. You are so good at monitoring your behavior.
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I get that we are going to begin monitoring that thing in us that
29:08
is the source of the evil oftentimes that comes out of us. We're going
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to and you know what we're gonna do. We're actually gonna personalize some of
29:15
this stuff. We're gonna personify some of this stuff which the Apostle Paul actually
29:18
models for us and some of his teaching, and we're gonna personify some of
29:22
the stuff that lurks within us. And we're gonna get in the habit of
29:25
saying you know what, Hey, you know what, you do not have
29:26
to boss me, You don't have to boss with me. In fact,
29:30
I want us to say this out loud. It's gonna be weird. Some
29:33
of you don't want to play. I understand. We're I want you to
29:34
say this out loud. We're gonna say that out loud twice because throughout this
29:37
series I want you to get in the habit of out loud or at least
29:41
under your breath, getting in the habit of saying, when these moments come
29:44
for you, uh, you're not to boss me. You're not to bosso
29:45
me. You're not to boss me. So here you go on the counter
29:48
of three, one two three, now this time with a little attitude.
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Okay, ready, one two three, Yeah, yeah, you're not the
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boss me. Anger, you're not the boss of me. I know,
30:00
Anger, it's justified because he did and she did. But Anger, you're
30:06
not the boss of me. Envy, I know she has she in again,
30:10
and she always and she is so cute in nory thing. But Envy,
30:15
you're not the boss of me. There's that insecurity. I'm tempted to
30:18
lie. There's that insecurity. I'm tempted not to speak up. There's that,
30:21
you know. Ohoh, insecurity. Hey, you're in there. Not
30:25
the boss of me. Okay. The real reason I'm not going is I'm
30:30
afraid, Hey, fear listening, fear not the boss of me. How
30:38
different would your life be? How different would your life be if, as
30:44
a middle school or maybe a high school or maybe a college student, you
30:47
had learned to monitor your heart and to decide that those raging emotions whether it's
30:53
for you, fear or anger or envy or greed or lust, or whatever
30:56
it might be. What if you had learned learned not to allow it to
31:00
be the boss of you? For some of you, imagine how different your
31:04
upbringing would have been if your father had not allowed his anger to be the
31:10
boss of him, or his guilt to be the boss of him, or
31:14
or your mom's fear to be the boss of her, or her envy to
31:17
be the boss of her, maybe her whatever it might be. Imagine for
31:21
those of us with kids, if we could teach our children to monitor their
31:26
hearts. I'll talk a little bit about this later if we have time,
31:29
But one of the things that we did early on with our kids is when
31:30
we put them to bed, we started saying, before they even knew it
31:33
was going on, hey, is everything okay in your heart? Is everything
31:37
okay in your heart? You told us what happened today, But is everything
31:41
okay in your heart? And I would say, are you mad at anybody?
31:45
Anybody hurt your feelings today? Come on, let's learn to pay attention
31:48
to what's in there, because I know that what's in there is going to
31:51
come out of there, just like it does for me, just like it
31:52
does for you. And here's why this is so important, whether you're a
31:56
religious person or not, because there is a reality, there's a dynamic that's
32:00
happening right now. Whether you like any of this, understand any of this,
32:04
embrace any of this, the people closest to you, listen. The
32:07
people closest to you are experiencing the overflow of your heart right now every single
32:16
day, and you're experiencing the overflow of their heart as well. But you
32:22
can't do anything about that. So for some of us, we need to
32:24
look in the mirror and we need to get better at monitoring our hearts.
32:29
Then we are simply monitoring our behavior. And that's true of all of us.
32:34
But if you're a Christian or you know, I like to say,
32:36
if you're a Jesus follower, this is an even bigger deal because we already
32:43
have a boss of us, a better boss, a better Boston Anger,
32:47
a better Boston Envy, a better Boston Creed, a better boss than lust.
32:52
And here's what he says to you. But he doesn't just say this
32:54
to Jesus followers. I think he says this to everyone everywhere. I love
33:00
this. He says Matthew recorded this for us. He said, just come
33:04
to me, Just come to me. And this meant so much to Matthew.
33:07
He had so much baggage. Come to me, all of you who
33:12
are tired of being bossed around by those inferior bosses. Come to me,
33:17
all of you who are just worn out. I mean, you're successful,
33:21
you look good on the outside, but you are tired on the inside.
33:23
Because there's a raging insecurity. There's a raging fear, there's a raging anger,
33:29
there's a raging lust on the inside. He says, come on,
33:34
come to me, all you're weary and burdened, and I'll tell you what.
33:37
I'm going to give you something those inferior bosses will never give you.
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I'm going to give you on the inside. Rest. And another another time,
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Jesus said this. I love this, My peace. I give you
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not as the word the world gives you. What do you mean not as
34:01
the world? Well, the world peace? You only have peace when everything
34:04
is great on the outside. Jesus, iss I got something better for you.
34:07
I'm gonna give you peace on the inside when things aren't good on the
34:12
outside. How do I get that? Just come to me, follow me,
34:16
let me be the boss of you. Take my look at this,
34:20
take my yoke. You know what this means. This is so powerful.
34:23
Take my way of life upon you, Take my way of life upon you,
34:32
and learn for me. This is why I invite everyone all the time
34:36
to be a follower of Jesus, whether you believe he's the son of God
34:37
yet or not, whether you ever believe, just Jesus says, if you
34:40
will just learn from me, For I'm gentle and I'm humble. I'm not
34:46
maybe like some of the religious leaders you felt manipulated by. I'm not like
34:52
the guy who did the thing and you had to leave the church. I'm
34:54
not that guy. I'm not that woman. I'm not that person. I'm
34:57
not that system. For I'm gentle, i am humble in heart. And
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if you follow me, here's a promise you will find rest on the inside.
35:14
Who doesn't want that. That's worth a try, that's worth considering.
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Jesus, follow me, he says, and perhaps your need for supervision will
35:28
finally come to an end once I help you silence the toxic voices that rage
35:37
from within.