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Transcript

Your Youth Group Event Failed...So Now What?? · Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes, youth pastors are at a loss, like, well, why is nobody showing up?
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: What it taught me is if my event fails, I can't look at well, who's fault was it?
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Well, that's why it failed.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: What I have to say is what could I have done to prevent this?
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: If your event is awesome and it's planned well, planned right, right time, and it's something they want to do, you probably won't have a hard time getting people there.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Today, we're talking all about events, how to have a successful one and what to do when it goes wrong.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the ministry coach podcast, where we give you weekly tips and tactics to help you fast track the growth and health of your youth ministry.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: If this is our first time meeting, my name is Jeff Lascola and this is this, then, Lascola.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: So tell me, have you ever had one of these experiences where you plan and plan and plan and do all sorts of things to make the most amazing event in the world and it's an absolute flop?
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Yes, I have, and I think we all have a few of those.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Hopefully, the further you go, it gets less and less and less Events like that, because you're learning and growing and adjusting.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: And so today we're gonna talk about what to do when your event goes totally wrong.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: It's a total fail, total flop.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: And how do we handle that failure?
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: And, I guess, maximize the potential of the failure so that it continues, so that we continue to be better.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: So Number one quit.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: You're not cut out for this, hey that's discouraging.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I would have quit a long time ago if that were true, because I've had some flops and failures and yeah, like you were saying, there's nothing more discouraging when you feel like you had all your ducks in a row and this is gonna be epic and awesome and it just is a flop.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: For a number of reasons, which we'll kind of talk about in a second.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: But number one what to do when your event fails is identify the breakdown.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Like I think if you can identify that, you're ahead of the curve, because I think sometimes we just are like I don't know, I don't know what it is.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: So you might need to ask some people, Ask a perspective, like sometimes it'll be glaringly obvious oh, because we didn't book transportation.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Like that's why this event didn't work.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: But sometimes it's more nuanced and cloudy and like, well, I don't know, it just didn't feel like I thought it would feel like I didn't get the attendance I was hoping I'd get.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So you might wanna ask people's perspective of students, hey, what would have made this event better?
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Or students who didn't come why didn't you come?
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Maybe you wanna ask parents how did that event feel to you, from sign up to pick up, like, was it user friendly?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Was it accessible?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: What was your experience?
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: And then ask the leaders Maybe you had some volunteers that helped you out and were there, and just people love sharing their opinion and just like, what do you think would have made this better?
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Or like, what was the mist to you?
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Do you only seek out these kinds of opinions when you know things didn't go quite right, or is this, like across the board, good or bad?
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: You share that, I think.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I'm more prone to ask it when things went badly, because when it went well, I'm like woohoo, like everything went great, obvious that it was a win.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: But I mean and it would probably be beneficial to ask no matter what, I just feel like it comes to my mind, like when I'm just like man, this did not go as planned.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Like, what do you guys think would have made this better?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: You know, and everyone, what I've noticed is that everyone sees something different from where they sit, the interactions they had, the conversations they overheard, where they sat on the bus or they were in line, whatever it might be.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: They always have really great suggestions.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: So things that haven't gone well for me in the past that I've been able to identify would be things like oh, we left certain things to the last minute and it was a scramble and had we had time to order better things online or, you know, be more organized in a certain area, it would have gone better.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Didn't double check something or confirm something, I would say that, for me, has been about 90% of my fails is like the confirmation, confirmation.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Confirmation Just because you've emailed somebody four months ago and you booked an ice skating rink at 3 am does not mean that they remember.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Even when it comes to transportation companies, like I've been waiting and waiting for hours and hours like where's our bus?
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: What are you talking about?
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Well, I booked you two months ago, you did.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: We have no record of that.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Like I cannot overstate the importance of the confirmation, the checking in.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Hey, the events next week.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Just wanna make sure we're on track.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Hey, see you guys in a couple of days.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Right, like you cannot overdo the check in the confirmation.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Another reason my events have gone well in the past is I didn't promote it.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Well, I made people really search for information and it wasn't accessible and it wasn't easy to find.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Where I didn't give enough time for promotion.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: It was like next week we're having a Christmas costume contest to come.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: It's like what?
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: That's not enough time to promote it.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I didn't promote it across enough mediums, you know.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: So promotion has been something and that's kind of like one of those last minute things you know kind of is in that catch-all.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe something else competed with it, maybe you tried to promote two events at the same time and it was just too confusing.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Or maybe you planned a really cool event the weekend of homecoming or something like that.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: So if another event is competing for it or was your event just lame, you know Like maybe it was just like a tired event, that is just not a winner.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: And people just maybe had tried it last year and they're like, yeah, it was lame, you know.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: And then they don't go back.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Or just didn't sound fun at all to begin with.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe not.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Maybe it was something that you thought would be a hit.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Like I think I tried to do a girls' craft night one night and like two girls showed up I was like cool, you know, I guess you guys aren't into crafting, you know.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: So it was like I thought that sounded fun.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: We like did a Valentine's Day themed craft night and bought some treats and stuff, and I think the junior high girls were not about it.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: It works really well for our high school girls and like the college or young women's ministry.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: So you know, just wasn't my demographic, so maybe you didn't have enough help.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: So I've had events that were a flop because we just didn't have enough supervision and the power balance got off and the kids overtook us and it was meh-ham.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: So making sure you have enough help for your events, that is a really big thing too.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: So these are just examples of things I've personally experienced, why my events have failed, and I'm sure there are a lot more.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: But the point is you've got to identify what was broken, what was the breakdown, what didn't we do?
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Well, because it might not be.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: The whole event is trash Craft night I think the whole event was trash, but that's the only event that I've kind of gotten rid of.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: We've grown out of some of our events, but they were working well up until we just were too big for some of them now, but I think the I usually don't throw out an entire event, it's mostly like well, with a few tweaks, this would have been better.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I just needed more volunteers, or I needed more time to promote it, or you know, I don't think we did a great job of like signups were not really user friendly or you know whatever.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So figure out what broke down and how you can try better next time.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Keep a record.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Don't just think you're gonna remember this stuff either.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I've made that mistake of like well, this was such a big deal.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I'll totally remember to confirm with the bus company because this was so painful.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: No, by the time winter camp comes again, or you know you're over, or all nighter happens again, you're not gonna remember.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: So keep a log of event reviews, event notes, you know, just like a Word document.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Save it along with all your material for that particular event so that you can go back and refresh your memory.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I do that every year for our summer camp.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Here's the notes from last year.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Make sure you do this, this, this, this, so this night didn't work for this.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Make sure you switched this night for that night, because I'm like, oh whoa, I would have never remembered that.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: So keeping notes on that is a very big plus.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Going back to getting feedback, whether the event works good or bad, I would personally suggest that you do it regardless, just because you can have an experience where you walked away thinking this was so great, but everyone else's experience might be a total, like it was a total disaster.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: And here, and as an example, we one time hosted an event at our house and the people well hosted, as in we let them use our house to do the event.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: They were kind of in charge of leading everything, you know, figuring everything out, planning everything, and they left a lot of things undone.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: And behind the scenes, all the people that were kind of volunteering or helping, we were like scrambling, scrammling to make it work and make it work.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: And their impression was what a perfect night.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: It went so well, you know.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: And everyone else is like sweating, Like you don't realize how much stuff you put on everybody else because you forgot to do all these things.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: So I think, whether you think it's a great night or a bad night, whatever, ask your volunteers and get some feedback and say what was your experience like, what could have been done better, what went well?
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Just to get those other voices you know, just to see the other perspectives of what may have happened or not have happened.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yeah, and I feel like you can just ask a couple of people at the end of the night, whoever's still around, or whatever.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: You don't have to launch a big event.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Give a poll to every person before you leave Each time, just like hey what did you think, or how did that go, or you know.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: but yeah, I think you're right.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Whether it's a success or fail, feedback is good, which kind of brings us to number two, and I mentioned this before.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: But just don't get defensive.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: And I think that's the hard thing, because if you're gonna ask for feedback on events or anything at all in your youth ministry, the moment you get defensive people shut down and then they realize, oh, this is not, you don't actually want feedback, you just want me to tell you what went great.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: And you know, we were at our staff meeting today and our campus pastor was saying you know, I really don't care if you guys try new things and they fail.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: And then you just are like, oh, I guess we're not gonna do that anymore.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: And he's like I just feel like there's something about just trying and going to uncharted territory and doing fun and new, exciting things.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: You never know when it's gonna be a hit.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: So hopefully you work in a church culture that has that same sentiment, that there is that room for error to just like try a dinosaur theme night and maybe it was great and maybe it was not, and you don't have to do it again.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: But just something like I used to do these Monday evening summer Bible studies and I was like this is like for the intense kids who want like I would teach them how to use online Bible study tools and they would come and it started out with like a group of like 10, and then it was like eight, six, four, and they were just sort of like you could just tell they're so bored and their parents made them come.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: And.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: I was just like I was trying to I think our high school ministry was doing it at the time and I kind of wanted to be like well, junior hires can learn to study the Bible too and and they can't.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: That's what it proved they can.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: But it was just too over their head.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: It just was not like that's not what we want to do on a Monday night in the summer.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: So I just got rid of it and nobody was like what are our Monday night Bible studies?
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: It was like, hey, that was for a summer, we don't like it, we're moving on.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: So just kind of get the pulse of people Like is this something I think people are enjoying?
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Is it worthwhile?
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Numbers don't say the whole story.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: It's like well, if six kids are enjoying it, then do it.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: But I think, because I saw them dwindling week after week after week, it was kind of telling me I don't know that this is a value.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know if people are enjoying this, I don't know if they're getting the most out of it that they were hoping to.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: So, pay attention to what people like and don't like and what's a value to them.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: But, yes, learn from all of those things.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: You had said about having a pulse, and I think that's a good point, because a lot of events I think you should be able to tell before hopefully you even commit to doing it is this gonna be a win or not with my group.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: So I would say, in trying new things, don't go so far.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Out somewhat, stay in your lane of what are your kids probably gonna like, and you can speak into this more.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: But I'm just throwing this out there.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: I feel like when you have an event and you kind of pitch the idea to your students, a lot of times they might just say, yeah, like sure, I would do that.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: But then sometimes, when it comes down to actually showing up, maybe not.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: How do you feel about making that like a?
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Here's a perfect example we wanna do shirts for our ministry.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Would you buy one?
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: This is a sore subject, sorry, yeah we're gonna do shirts.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Don't talk to me about merch.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: We're gonna do shirts for our ministry.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Would you guys buy one?
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, we would.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: No, they won't.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Let's print up a hundred of these things.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: All right, they're for sale.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Nobody buys it.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, having to be a million times.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Versus pre-selling.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: You say you want them, this is how much they're gonna cost.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: You put your money in and then we're gonna put the order in.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: And that can kind of like same thing.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Kind of, could that be for an event where it's like, hey, we're gonna do a dinosaur night?
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Is that something you guys are gonna just think, yeah, it's gonna be cost five bucks, paying in advance, and if all of a sudden no one's showing like putting any money towards, it.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I see what you're saying.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I feel like it depends on the event, like if I need your like headcount for transportation or like I'm paying per person at a venue like laser tag or something like that, then, yeah, I do pay in advance permission slip in advance, register online, the whole thing, and so I know my exact numbers Most of the time.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: If we're just doing something at the church, like, for example, the Glovernighter, where it doesn't really matter, like what's 50 more glow sticks, like three bucks, but you know that's gonna be a hit.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking more fast, true?
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I didn't the first time you know what I mean.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: And so I just was like, hey, I'm gonna guesstimate, at least half of my group is gonna show up because we've been promoting it really well.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I bought enough supplies and then I figured what I don't use I'll just save for next year.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: It was very low cost.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: It's just glow, paint and balloons and stuff, so it was not a big deal.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: So I don't make people sign up for that kind of stuff because I don't really care how many show up.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like well, if everyone shows up, great, If only half show up, great, the night will go on.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: But you know, I think that's also a critical mass issue too, when I was smaller.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: There's a big difference between 10 kids and 40 kids but, now that we're bigger, it's like, hey, sometimes the less that show up the better, because it's easier and it's more controllable, like energy wise and stuff like that.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean, depending on your size of group, you might want to do signups ahead of time and then that is just like you're getting-.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: Paid signups yeah, paid signups yep.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Cause once someone puts money down, they're like a million times more likely to actually show up.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Well, and then that goes back to the question we were talking about in number one, like if your event is awesome and it's planned well and planned right, right time, you know, and it's something they want to do, like you probably won't have a hard time getting people there.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: You know, I feel like sometimes youth pastors are at a loss like whoa, why is nobody showing up?
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: I think then you have to go back to number one.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: What's the breakdown Cause?
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Junior hires, especially like this, is their social life, Like they don't have cars.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: So when you plan something they should want to be there because that's when they're gonna see their friends, that's when they're gonna see everyone.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: It's their Friday night thing to do, it's their weekend thing to do.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: They're not making their own plans really, yet their parents are still dropping them off everywhere.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: So if the event is for them, planned really well and easy for the parents, then you should see a pretty big spike in signups.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: And then, if you're a new youth group, don't worry, because events gain reputation over time.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: So the first time you do a Glover nighter they might be like what?
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: But then they get FOMO and you show pictures like on your rotating slide and pro presenter, before service starts and you show a little recap video and there's a reel on Instagram and you put some pictures up on the wall and your youth room on Gator board or something like that.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Now, everything's like what I missed out and it's larger than life and it takes on this life of its own.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: So that brings up a good point Not what I planned on talking about today, but the after promotion, or like the after hype, is also just as important as the pre-hype.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: So you hype up this event, the people come.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Well, now you have to hype it up after to show.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: look what we did.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Let's relive it for a moment.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: And then you do create this like, oh, you should have been there, I hope you can come next time.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: So like we post reels of all these events on our story on Instagram, but we also will do like a 60 second recap video the next week at youth group.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: So like, hey, how many of you guys went to the GloverNighter?
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, awesome, All right, Well, if you missed out, go ahead and check it out.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: This is what we did.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: And then it's like a very high energy 60 second recap and then people are cheering and reliving it and then they can't wait to go next time.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: So the after promotion, too, kind of ride, that momentum, and it takes on the life of its own kind of, you know, capitalize on the memories and just like that was so fun, huh?
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: You know, do that with camps, camps especially, like you know there's so much footage there and meaningful footage of people worshiping and like they had these breakthroughs and baptisms and all this cool stuff.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: And then people, eventually it becomes a part of your culture that you want to be at this stuff, and for good reason, like it's not just like come to our event for what?
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: We don't make any money on this, there's no weird ulterior motives.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: It's more like you need to be a part of community and like you missed out on some really cool spiritual moments and you missed out on some awesome bonding moments and some fun moments.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: And you know, like being the core, like feeling like this is your home, feeling like this is your family, feeling like this is your place, all of these are connection points that we don't want kids to miss out on and just sit on the sideline of youth group.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: You know we need them to get to events because that's where they become a part of things, rather than just like I attend and I leave, but like I was a part of something.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: It is important and there are spiritual development you know to like, feel like the church is my family, the church is my home, the church, these are my people and those bonds create open ears, you know, and open ears to what the gospel like it all.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I mean it's not a stretch.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: All of this stuff realistically points back to the gospel.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: It's very strategic.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Youth ministry.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Like I don't need to do a glow overnighter.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I don't need to have a glow in the dark party to make my life complete.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: It's not for me, I could do without.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I promise you that.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: But when I see kids go from like sitting on the bench to getting more involved, to feeling like I'm comfortable and maybe I'll open up and maybe I can trust these people and I did have fun with them and I can share in small group or I can ask for prayer or I can ask a question about Jesus, like it's all a part of the process you know that was kind of a tangent, but I just don't want the big picture to get lost on us of, like make your events great, well, why?
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Who cares.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I don't need to hang out with 80 junior hires and neon on a Friday night, unless there's a strategy involved to get them down that funnel to making a decision for Jesus or being just velcroed to the church and God's word and other Christians like for their spiritual health.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, all right.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Number three don't blame other people.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: If your event does not go well, don't blame other people.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: This is probably one of the most tempting ones, probably for the reasons we're talking about.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: Of like, we do get defensive, and I have a story here.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: So I had tried to partner with a youth pastor in our vicinity not in our town, but I had wanted to partner with him on this event and we confirmed this goes back to the confirmation conversation.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, hey, this is the date we're coming.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: He's like great, sounds good.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Well, it was like the day of.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: And I'm like all right, see you in a bit.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: And he's like what are you talking about?
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: And I'm like what do you mean?
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: What am I talking about?
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: And he's like well, we planned something else for tonight.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: I didn't remember that you were coming.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like well, we've talked about it.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: And this was his line to me.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: He said you should have reminded me and confirmed with me.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: And I said Was he a junior hire?
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I said to him Mr, I don't even remember his name, yeah, was he a junior hire?
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I said to him.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: You said, yes, it's not really my job to remind you write it in your calendar.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: So I was mad we made it work.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: We kind of just weaseled our way into whatever they were doing.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: It wasn't really great, but it worked.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: But here's what I wanted to blame him.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: And I still do whatever your name is, I know because what it taught me is if my event fails, I can't look at well, whose fault was it?
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Well, that's why it failed.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: What I have to say is what could I have done to prevent this?
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Is it my job to remind a grown man to put his events in his calendar?
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: No, it's not.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: But if that will make my event go smoothly, just reaching out and saying, hey, you looking forward to seeing you next week, anything you need from me, like checking in, what I learned is people aren't who I want them to be.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: They are who they are.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: So if I don't want to punish myself and my entire youth ministry, I better just humble myself and continue to reach out, continue to confirm, continue to make sure like we're all on the same page.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Is it my job?
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Should I have to?
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: No, but I can't blame other people for the failure.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Where do I come in?
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: What could I have done to catch that fall, and that's what leaders do catch the fall not like.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Well, it's your responsibility, that's what I want to say.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: But I need to catch the fall before it happens.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: And so I feel like the initial knee jerk reaction is who did this?
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Whose fault is this?
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Who can we blame?
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Who can we point fingers at?
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: And it might be very well someone's total and complete fault.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: But I think what we have to do, instead of going to being angry at people, let's back up and look at the process.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Well, where did the process break down?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: So I could say, well, it's your fault, because you should have put in your calendar.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Or I could say, well, the process should be.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I check in with you a week, and then four days, and then two days, and then the day of, because that process will account for human error, because there will be human error.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: So how can you outsmart human error as much as possible?
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: And for me, that comes down to confirmation, over and over and over again, over communicating, not assuming people know what they're doing or when to be there.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Like, don't assume, people have got it, you're the one in charge.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: You need to, over over over, communicate over, check in over, confirm over help.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: And then if people, after you've worked with them for a while, if you feel like, oh, they're totally capable, they don't need me as much.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: But sometimes people aren't really all that capable to do things on their own right out of the gate and we just lean too much on what we assume is their capability.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: But it might just not be their gifts or their strength.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: They might not know how.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Maybe we haven't equipped them to do that or trained them how to do that.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: And so, like I had someone set up a game for me a long time ago and I had asked for a very specific number of items and I didn't check them.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: And then I was on stage and I'm like all right, I need this many volunteers.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: We didn't have enough items for all the volunteers.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: And I'm kind of thinking like, how did you not have?
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: So don't blame the person.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I thought I should have double checked.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Why didn't I go back and just do a quick count to make sure they got exactly?
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: And you guys might be thinking so I have to like babysit everyone and hold everyone's hand.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you do so.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: That's a leadership If you want your events to go well, if you wanna continue to blame people and have events, that things fall through the cracks and all that, then sure, let them continue.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: But sometimes it's like you just have to go the extra mile and I'll do the extra work to make sure things are done.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Every eye is dotted, every T is crossed, and sometimes for events it is daunting.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: But what I've learned is, unless I double check things or have gotten to the point with someone in my relationship with where I totally trust them and I know they're capable, but even the most capable, like I, even like forget stuff.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean, cause I'm the most capable even me, you guys but I just mean, like we have to count that there will be human errors, so just do everything you can to catch that fall.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: And then I think if there is that conversation that needs to happen with somebody where it's just like blatantly they completely drop the ball, that's not a public conversation.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: It's something you maybe pull them aside, you know, and talk to them about if it needs to be discussed.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: But it just reminds me of like when football season is around and it's very clear that the wide receiver dropped the pass or ran the wrong route, the quarterback publicly says I need to throw a ball.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: That he can.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: You know that is catchable.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: I'm not throwing, putting the ball where it needs to be.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: That's a good perspective, but inside you missed it, you ran the wrong route, and you know.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: It's like I need to throw someone a ball where I need to put the ball, where he can catch it, and then privately, you probably say, hey, you zipped when you should have zacked, you know.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: And if even that cause I think once they watch film they know okay, I screwed up, so it's not, there's no sense in being like, hey, everybody, just so you know, I did what I was supposed to do and they messed up.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: It doesn't look good for anybody, and especially for a three who like an Enneagram three, who, like, prises himself on being very capable when things fail.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I want it to be publicly known, I would like to make an announcement.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I did not do anything wrong.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: I crossed all my T's, I dotted my I's, but this clown over here dropped the ball.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Do we love this clown?
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, we do Sometimes we love the clown, but the clown it's his fault.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Not mine.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Love the clown, not my fault.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: We're all clear, because I don't.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: I always want people to see me as, like you were responsible.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: You did everything you could.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I don't want them to be like well, what kind of like circus is she running.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: You know cause?
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I just don't want to lose trust.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: I feel like, well, she didn't even like try her best, or she.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I just don't want to lose trust with people, so I always want to like be like it was them.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: But there's something too about when we really do fail of just to be like gosh, darn it guys.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: Like I'm so sorry.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: But that doesn't look good either, though, where it's like, yeah, maybe it was someone else's fault, but when the blame comes down to your, it was them that never makes you look good either, I know.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, you look like a loser either way.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sucks.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Just kidding.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: All right, speaking of that last number four, check your attitude, especially your public attitude.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: So I think sometimes like we can just give into the fail, like oh, that was the worst, I can't believe this, you know, whatever.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: But instead I think we can acknowledge like dang it, this is a bummer.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: Well, what are we going to do?
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: And so you can stay positive and always move toward a solution, move toward resolution and be grateful where you can Give kudos like hey, well, you did a great job.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Like we can't help if this, this, this happened.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: Like what should we do now?
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Let's solve this problem.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: So work on problem solving but encourage people where you can Like what did go well, but what can we solve in the moment.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: So always trying to maintain that positive attitude.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: That's not like wallowing in the failure, but just moving the team toward a solution while here's what we do have.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Or one time I ordered like Fifty pizzas from the wrong pizza place and somebody went to go pick up the I don't know.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Why am I?
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: Maybe it was very those of you just listening on the podcast, you can't see Kristen treading water like a dolphin.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: I have no idea.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: You have no idea, maybe it was a gesture that I just got stuck on that function.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: Continue.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: So I ordered like 50 pizzas from the wrong place.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: I sent a leader to go pick them up and there were no pizzas there and he's like they've never heard of us.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I put in the order Fifty pizzas and then I realize oh, it was the wrong little Caesars, okay.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, great, the kids have no food now.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: So what do we do?
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: And he's like I can wait here, maybe we can see if they can do something real quick.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: And so we had to entertain the kids while these people make a bunch of pizzas.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: Well, I ended up paying for 50 pizzas here and 50 pizzas there.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: I lost all what would have been like breaking even on this event.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: We lost all the money and it was terrible.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: And so we kind of had to laugh about it and we went cry.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I felt so stupid because I'm like that's a very avoidable mistake.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: But again, human error, it's going to happen, even for us youth pastors.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: But when that happens, can we just move to a solution Like, well, I guess the kids are going to have to stay up an extra hour because we need more time.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: They have to get pizza.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Put on a just dance, let's play another round of dodgeball.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Like keep them entertained until these pizzas come and then think that leader for sticking around Sorry I made you run all over town, I'm an idiot, you know.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: Just you know like we can own it and then move on toward a solution.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: So just know this the failures will happen, but I feel like we all learn way more through the pain than through the success, because when you've had a failure you realize I never want to feel that feeling again.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: I never want to be out $200 for pizza again.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: I never want to show up and nobody knows we're coming again like those feelings.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: And that's when you start to get really dialed in and your failures will become far and fewer between, because you remember the pain and you adjust.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: So be patient with yourself through the process but learn from each thing of what could I have done differently and how can I make this better next time.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: But don't give into the demoralization of oh, I'm the worst, or this is the worst, or nobody likes us, or my events suck and it's just like okay, something's broken, how can we fix it?
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: Because kids like events.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: Events can go well and events can be the lifeblood of your ministry.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: If they're not going well, you've got to figure out what's broken.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Ask people who would know make adjustments.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: Don't take it personally and try to stay positive.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: And if you are looking for a tried and true event that we've done in our ministry you've done at your ministry multiple times, it is the Glover Nighter.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: We did a whole episode on some of the games you can play and just the way to theme out and schedule the whole night.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: So make sure you check that out.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: It'll be linked in the description below.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: And now let's do a question of the day.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Our car.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: In going along with the line of events.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: This is an overrated, underrated or accurately rated.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Lock-ins over nine hours.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Trigger word.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Do you think they're overrated, underrated by who, or accurately rated?
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Students.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Let's start with the pastor, the youth pastor.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like it's overrated and rated?
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like any youth pastor is overrating them.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: They all hate them.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: They all do them because they have to.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: We all hate them.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: We all agree they are terrible.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: Overrated.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: All right, that's your answer.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: See if anybody else disagrees with that.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Students.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Students are out of their mind, and especially junior hires, because they don't get out much.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: But they love them and in fact mine is going to come up next month and I'm already.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: I thought you did it in January.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: So that's the Glovernighter.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: We do the all overnighter in September.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: That's another one.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no sleep.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: I'm already tired.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: I'm still tired from summer You're tired thinking about being up all night.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: Make sure you guys put in the comment section below if you think that lock ins or overnighters are all rated, underrated or accurately rated.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: Can I put out a request?
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: If you love overnighters, lock ins, whatever your church calls them then why don't you marry them?
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: And you live in Southern California and you want to do mine for me.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: You can come to my church and I will tell you exactly how to do it and you.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: It'll be perfect.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: You'll love it.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: I'll go home, I'll go to bed.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: It'll be fabulous All right Community comment of the day.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: This comes from Cobalt 351, who says just what I needed.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: I found this podcast at just the perfect time for me.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: I was simply looking for a last minute game idea and found so much more.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: The information they share is so practical and gives a boost to our ministry.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: Thank you both for all you give us.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: You're welcome, Cobalt I appreciate you leaving that comment.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: A lot of people say that they came for a game and they got a lot more than they bargained for my bargain for.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Why that voice?
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: I did not Because.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: I was going to repeat what you said and then, instead of saying a lot, I said my, and I leaned into that voice.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: If you really want to, know, I'm sorry, I asked there's way too much information.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: Where.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: I'm arrogant, for Okay, bye.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: Thanks for watching and listening.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: We'll see you next time.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the ministry coach podcast.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: There's a fly attacking me.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Hold on a second, you go away.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: And today we're going to talk about how a lot of I don't know.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Apparently, you don't have one, thanks to you.