Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #104 Oscar’s New Trick, School Orientation, and DJ Ash’s Big Oops

Transcript

#104 Oscar’s New Trick, School Orientation, and DJ Ash’s Big Oops · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I just want to start off my saying, it's been
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: a really good run, but all good things come to
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: an end. It has been a while since I've shipped myself.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie Jay
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: and I'm Ash And this.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Is all God.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Maybe one of the first few times that I've stuffed
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: up that intro line. This is a podcast all about parenting.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: It is the good, it is the bad, and the relatable.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: And if you've come winning any advice, it's not going
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: to happen, not today. But we are going to talk
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: about Ash shitting himself. Take it away.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Yes, So I was here and I did say to you.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I was like, yo, No, I said, I was a
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: sort time and I had to leave.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: I did hear you upstairs in the bathroom?
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Oh god.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I pretended to open the door and then I was
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: like just kidding, And then you were like yes, and
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: then you started playing music.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: No, I was on TikTok And so after I had left,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I just didn't feel great.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know. It was a big weekend. What's happening.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: It's the Barley Belly coming, could be Bally Belly.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Anyway, one way home because my parents were coming to
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: stay with us, so they were already there. Okay, So
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I was on the way home and I tried to
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: sneak out a little far the car. It turned out
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: to be shit, but I was more worried about I'm like, oh,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: fuck myself.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: But then I thought, I'm going home, but I'm not
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: going home to I'm going to get home and then
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: greet my parents and hug my parents.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: After stewing in your stewing in my shit for like
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: an hour.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Thank god they didn't notice. So would you do just
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: beIN or you say hey everyone? I was like, you know,
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: you to hug with the hips out. Mom's like, what
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: are you doing? My good? An erection? Bye?
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Literally, like when you have an erection, you have to
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: like hunch over, tucke it, sink it back in.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: Was it a big one?
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Nah, it's just a little a little squirtedy, little watery, squirter,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: little squirty bump. Anyway, I'm fine now, it's good to
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: have you back. It is good to be back. I'm
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: not feel reborn.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, up until now, I've been like, there's something weird
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: about ash. I can't quite put my finger on it.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Here it is.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: M Sorry, I'm so thirsty right now.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I was just going to say that because I'm thirsty too,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: because my parents come over to my house and they
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: do love that.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: I have a fridge full of stone, wood, stone and wood.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: Your mum drinks stone and wood.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Mum loved Actually, mom loves this one the best, but
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: she can only have one.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Because what happens. She feels a bit pissy after.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: And we are talking about the Hinterland Hazy pale al
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: from Stone and Woods.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Actually, does your mom like a shandy? Do you know
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: what a shandy is?
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Just diabetic?
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, well that's awkward.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Wait to bring the moon. I'll have a schooner, a
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: hazy bale a thank you.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I cannot wait. Put my lips around this ic cold can.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Let's crack it open and taste a sweet nectar. You've
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: earnt that one.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Actually, I have ten days, ten days of pounding the
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: pavement for Ned's uncomfortable challenge.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Those of you who don't know Ned.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Cut my nails and can't get the can open.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Oh I got it. Oh, well, the cheers for your siplement.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Thank you, cheers Ashton.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Oh so the Hinterland Hazy was a limbits released, but
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: he's now part.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Of the full time family. Matthew.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: It is just bloody good beer. And where can you
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: get it?
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: In any good bottle shop? And it's now pouring on
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: tapping any good bar or restaurant. If it's a ship bar,
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: they don't have it.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: If it's good, get the hell out of there and
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: get to a good bar.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: And if you're still struggling to find it, you can
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: of course order it online if you're lazy or don't
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: like interactions with other humans like Ash at Stonewood dot
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: com dot au. That is all one word, Ash, I'm
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: glad you acknowledged my incredible achievement of human endurance.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: I'm glad someone acknowledged it.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do you know what I was expecting? I am,
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: of course talking about it's the Ned's uncomfortable challenge. Ten
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: days of doing something uncomfortable. I got involved.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't, well, my life would be uncomfortable, so, you know,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: always challenge.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: And stupidly, we were doing live streams while NED was running,
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: and I wasn't that keen to get involved because I
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: was like, I just don't know, it's hard to find
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: time to make this work.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: I've got the kids.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: You know, I've got I've got the podcast, incredibly busy
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: with the podcast, our friendship, Our friendship. Your phone calls
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: four a day minimum?
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Have reduced them?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: You have reduced them?
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's because you insultded me last time.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Credit where credits due? And then in the moment during
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: the live stream, they were like, we're doing we're all
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: going to do sixteen.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: K's a day.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Why sixteen because it's ten percent of what Ned was
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: doing per day. Ned was doing one sixty per day.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: So they were like, we'll do sixteen per day. And
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: in the moment, you're just like one.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Point six for me. Thanks, You're like, yeah, absolutely, I'll
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: do it.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: It's like when you're with a group of people and
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: they're like when should we hang out again tomorrow?
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Should we go here? And you're like I'd love.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: That, And then you go home and you're like, oh,
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: what have I done? Yeah, it's a bit like that.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: I came home I told Laura, oh yeah, which did
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: not go down Well you thought.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: You were expecting like that is an amazing achievement. Pull
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: your pants down. Yeah, I'm going to show you what
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: an amazing achievement that is.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: That's what I was in I did it nothing at all.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: It was like I came home and said, I've just
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: killed a cat on the road. It's raspberry. She was
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: just had a look of shock, and I was like,
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: why this is I'm raising money for those in need,
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: those who are experiencing homelessness. It's a huge problem in Australia,
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: Obviously does she not know that? Yeah?
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I was like, do you not care about those people
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: experiencing homelessness? And she goes, no, I do. But it's
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: just like, when are you going to do this? And
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: I was like, everyone's asleep. Well, the way it worked out, Ash,
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I did a lot of my running at nighttime because
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: it's just a bit colder, and just the way it
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: works out, you know, it's it's an hour and forty
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: minutes per run roughly. I don't want to do it
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: too late. It's too hard. I'm tired.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like with the endorphins that late it's not good.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Also, when you do it that late, I can't sleep
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: I get home, Yeah, that's what I mean, Like, yeah,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: you're fucking wired. I'm up till midnight's ah. And so
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: I would try and help out with the kids.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: I like speed through.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: The process of dinner and bath, and then I would
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: hand them over to Laura and say I've got a
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: run now. Obviously sometimes didn't go to plan. Yeah, I'd
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: have to leave. The kids hadn't been fed occasionally occasionally,
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: not every time, as she doesn't look at me like.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: That, No you don't, how dare you? I was judge me.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: That was my agreement face that not everything goes to plan.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: So Laura wasn't thrilled. No, yeah, okay, Laura was a thrilled.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: But we got it done, finished it recently, and thank
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: god I did, because I have got the worst ass chave.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: There.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: It is like not to give you a strong visual,
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: so apologies and advance to you and to the listeners.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: I have a very how can I say, Harry, hairy asshole,
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: the whole itself, not to get that checked, not the
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: whole but everything. But it's very it's very It's like velcro,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: It's like velcrow. Yeah, you know what I'm going through.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: I do, I do. I've suffered.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: It's weird. I often look at myself and think, if
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: it was reversed like I have, if I could have
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: the amount of hair on my asshole on my face
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: as a beard.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I don't think you want to ask hair on your
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: face there, but the same coverage, the thickness, the what.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I have to show you sometimes I can't
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: wait to see it. I have to show I've thought
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: about getting it laser. Whether it's me or my back,
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: whether it's me on all fours or all fours, please,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: I'll do any position you like. It's like they're like
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: five No, they went really long? Yeah, shut up the
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: true story.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I think that ask chafe should be more widely recognized
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: and talked about.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Didn't you have asked chaf recently?
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: I did? I can't remember.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: It was you were squatting and doing the self application.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: That's right. That was a while ago.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: It was when I was doing third I was doing
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: ten K's Day for thirty days.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: But do you know what I did?
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I used the vasoline, but the vacilline started to heat
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: up and it felt like my asshole was on fire.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: It was like, I don't know what to deals with that.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: But baby powder, bam.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: It's Isn't that a carcinogenic?
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: Now?
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Isn't that doesn't give you cancer?
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: Isn't a carcinogenic? Oh that's no I was thinking of
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: something else.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure. Yeah, it gives you cancer.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: I'm like it. It doesn't give you cancer. They say,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: don't smoke, it gives you cancer. Stone Wood, You're welcome,
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: good call. Don't smoke, it gives you cancer. To give
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: you cancer.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I did it.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: I did it.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: Have you raised and not? I don't say this to
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: get a pat on the back. I don't do it
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: for the recognition, Ash, I just do it to inform
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: you and the listeners. Oh great that we raised. You
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: want to give me some praise, I'll take it. I
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: think we raised. It was twelve five hundred dollars.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: Wow, twelve No, I don't need that, Ash. Not necessary.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: The crowd goes wild.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: Not necessary.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: That's very good. I'm proud of you. I saw that
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: so glad.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: I didn't do it because, honestly, man, I did two
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: k's yesterday and my chords are killing me. Two k's anyway,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: it's enough about running.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: That's not round.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Last week we did talk about briefly about how I
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: was called in to do the ceremony music for my sister.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: Yes, she is wedding.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: You were the DJ.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: I was the DJ.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I got sent the playlist the timings and what she
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: wants to do.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: It was just for the ceremony only, can I.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Just say, and not not to have a go at you.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: But it's a big responsibility to put on the shoulders
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: of yourself at a wedding.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no less my sister's wedding.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: She's a little bit bossy sometimes and I thought better
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: but not fuck this up.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: I was nervous. Everyone was nervous for me. Why you,
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I think she just thought Ash will
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: be there, he can do it. So it was just
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: to be on Spotify. I was had very strict instructions
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: have my phone on airplane mode so that no one called.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: I said, no, it calls me, no one, no one's interested.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: That's not true. Did you put it on aeroplane mode.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: No. I didn't want to missus Sex and it was
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: going to be on a Ui boom love that. So
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: my job was to get there, connect my phone to
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: the Yui boom.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Ready to go airplane mode. Airplane mode wasn't on. I thought,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: we don't need it. Come on, No one's going to
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: call me on a Saturday. No one did, thankfully, But
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I thought about calling you.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: You should have I would have just started everything. Everything
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: that I wasn't supposed to do, would have ticked the
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: last box anyway. So I got there early.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Connected, beautiful, ready to go, started to enjoy a drink,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: saw my soon to be brother in law, you know,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: I wished him, but as you do, all the pleasantries
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: and then everyone's sort of sat down, and my sister has.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: Arrived to walk down the aisle.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: How was she looking?
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: She looked beautiful, beautiful, and I thought, it's go time.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: So I've gone to start the song. The UI boom
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: auto disconnects after a certain amount of time, God turns
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: herself off like battery savor mode. So first of all,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: that's happened, and I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, that's
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: one thing.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Fuck fuck.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: But thankfully my niece has seen my sister at the
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: other end of the aisle and had to get to her,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: as three year old two and a half year olds do.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: She's ran up the aisle to try and get to her,
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: and thankfully she fell over. Clumsy, clumsy, but she's bought
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: me some time. I was going everyone, I was like,
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: I've got this, turned it back on. It makes and
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: you know UI booms, they make funny noises like or
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: like connection noises.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: So that's come on, sigh of relief. Were ready to go?
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Can I ask if the niece was okay?
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: Niece was fine, great on grass? Thank god? Oh thank
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: you fine?
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And was it just was it just she tripped on
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: her own feet? They did someone throw a glass at her?
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Or she was just running and tripped over herself as
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: these small children.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Do you sure you didn't love a schooner?
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: I'll buy me five minutes.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: And I was like, thank god. And then after a
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: couple of minutes she had a little cry. I was like,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: here we go.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: The niset did. I was like, here we go, ready
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: to go.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: And I don't know if you know this about Yui Booms,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: but when you hit maximum volume, it also cuts out
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: and goes due for a quick second.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: There's a very there's silence.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Can I say, Yui Boom, sort yourself out seriously?
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: For what? Was JBL not sponsored? But we'd be fine.
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: So it makes it.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: And you know not to not to have a go
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: at you, but you're someone who likes to do things
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: to the maximum.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I want it ever under here.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: So she's walking down the aisle and I'm slowly turning
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: it up, and you're like a little more, little more.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Are you feeling it?
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: You feel it in the feeling it. People are into it, yeah.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Not realizing that it's going to do this noise, and
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I guess it's.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: And it goes and it's silent for a second and
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: I just go my bad midway through my only siblings wedding,
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: walking up the aisle, and then I had really strict
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: instructions to feed the music out.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, nice, nice touch.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: First of all, how do you do that volume down?
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: That's what I That's what I.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Tried to do, But it was like it wasn't as
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: nice and smooth. It wasn't really a fade. It was
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: kind of like a step out.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: It was like.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Volume on the phone, volume on the UI boom phone. Okay,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: we got there, And then I'm surprised you didn't like
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: mid song, start watching TikTok videos.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: That's about My concentration is minimal.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: It was a short ceremony, thankfully, But then I was
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: also how much strength.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Be honest, did it take not to like lay down
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: and start having a scroll.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: It was tough. No, I was invested in the moment.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: I wanted to Sorry, I wanted it to be perfect,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: but in doing so, it was very imperfect. Anyway, I
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: also had one other job, which was to help move
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: people from the ceremony to the reception, which was a
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: short walk.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I'm imagining people like, mid conversation, you're like palette wrapping them.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: Let's go on a trial I had. I was thinking, Fuck,
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: how am I going to do this? You want to
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: be nice? I'm gladys Is like, who's this? Shut up?
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: I get in there. So it's a short walk. I've
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: just signed far three or four minutes up the road?
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: How many meters is that?
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Three hundred meters? Call it? Okay, it's not for three
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: minutes to that. I don't. Sorry, you're talking about me
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: going into detail. I'm trying to reduce the amount of
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: detail to get through it. I'm just giving the people
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: what they want detail. Okay.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: According to Google Maps, it's like a three minute walk.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: But that's at my pace, not at normal pace on
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: a fast walker. I'm like, get there, three hundred meters.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Come on, you're doing that, and I'm so twenty seconds
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: per one hundred meters three hundred meters at least, you're
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: doing it in like a minute.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if there's a beer there, I'm doing it. I'm
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: husein bold, I'm like doing anyway. So I thought to myself,
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: how am I going to get How am I going
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: to do it without being rude? I thought to the
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Great Award Shows of America where they play you out?
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Yes, So I downloaded the.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Play you out music and I just walked around with
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: the Yui boom, playing people out of their conversations. And
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: so they eventually were like what And I was like,
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: you need to move on to the next location.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Everyone's like, why is that nonverbal guy like the Jurassic
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: Park music. I'm playing you out? You need to move
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: to the next location.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Because they got to get there before my sister gets
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: there because she's doing a quick photo and then it's
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: gonna do the walk in there and that's all fun
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: and games.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: Again, I think it's a nice subtle touch. They had
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: a property j for that.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Did you have any pushback from the guests?
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Just just the ones that I'm friends with, They're like,
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: well this guy, And I was like, just fucking move.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Cand all your jobs, will you have a security guard? No?
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: But actually, oh god, that made me think about another
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: job I had that I have never told you about,
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: and I just did it on the side.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Was it was the.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Party Higher sumo suits. I know, I know what you're thinking, bullshit. No, true,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: very true. And it was for like Hans and Bucks parties,
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: did you know.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: So it was a friend of.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Ours that had or had the van, had all the
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: sumo suits stuff that everything.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: That.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: So what we would do is we would get called
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: in to do a job that he couldn't do because
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: we just did it on the side on like a
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Saturday Friday stay just deliver no no, no, we go, we
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: set up, we show them how to use it, and
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: then we hang around pretty much at the party.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: And then we pack up and we leave like a
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: few hours later.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: That sounds like a great job and also a dangerous
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: one for you. Yeah for me, yeah, because you're like
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: I have one drink, like ten drinks.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: So I was like eighteen.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: This is before he was married.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like eighteen. So me and a mate
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: did that. Anyway, that's another job I had, Party Higher,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: just a man of the tripper.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so then you see you sorry, you got everyone
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: moved to the next room and then we had three
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: hundred meters.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a nice evening. Everything turned out, so I was successful.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Did you did you get emotional at all watching your
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: sister walk down the aisle?
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: No? I got a little emotional when they were doing
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: their vows. Tears. No, what's that like? Sorry? What's that like?
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: I won't get me to cry on this podcast. I
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: had not yet.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: N I will eventually when it happens. Can't wait. I
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: had a little tearing when my sister was she was
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: walking down the aisle and it was she was the
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: first one to get married. It was a little emotional. Yeah, okay,
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: and you know, okay, well fuck myself, Okay, Well.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: You know everyone's different. I don't show emotions. What do
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: you mean different? Everyone's different in terms of like what
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: they find emotional and what they've don't find. It was
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: a happy it's a happy moment, and I understand, and
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: I understand that. I think, sorry, I've just got to.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: Stitch from what you're sitting down.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: That might be the problem.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I must have been like you have a heart attack.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: I've never known a man to get a stitch from
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: sitting down.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: Sorry one, Okay, I'm good anyway. That was my DJ
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: debut and if you want to hire me, all.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: The sumo suits.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: What about you?
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: Quick question? This is about a subject that you like
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: to talk about, so I thought i'd bring it up
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: for you, not for me. The renovations must have been nice.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: I have a question for you. I value your input here. Okay,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: you're a man who likes timber, who knows timber, who
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: was familiar with timber, and so you're like the oracle
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: of timber.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: I've been profiled to be the timber guy.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: You always talk about, at least at the same time
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: as I'm like, I once lived in London, You're like,
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: I once worked in a timber yard.
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yep, yep.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, so different, very different, but yeah in what way?
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: No? I just mean different.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Do you like London? London, timberyard? Two very different things,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: but I know.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: The both important moments of our lives that we should
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: we should always.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: I agree with you that I talk about as much
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: as you talk about living in London. But I'm just
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: saying they're very two different places.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: That's all.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Well. Seeographically well said, point taken.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: I appreciate what you're saying. Good and I can respect that.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, great, let's let's move on stairs, stairs, stairs, in
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: this place we have stairs must have been.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Also will say that we may or may not be
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: getting some must be nice hats made. Oh we are
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: at some point? Yeah, I think they can't. We've got
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: like that will be nice, That will be very nice.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Stay tuned for that. But stairs. Okay, just really quickly.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: We want to talk about the runer for too long,
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: but I need to make a decision on whether or
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: not you want a square edge step or a bullnose step. Okay,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: for those who aren't familiar, a bullnose is a curved.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Edge, so deep bull's nose like there he is.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: That's that's why I'm talking to here, because you know
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: everything about timber, about the edging, about the noses. Yeah,
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: what do you like better?
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Well?
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Is it like a full Oh? What about the option
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: for pencil round?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Now you're just making things very complicated.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Half between square and bullnose A pencil A pencil round
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: step pans around smaller, not not as sharp as a square,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: but not a around because with the with the bull nose,
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: there's potential to slip off if you don't land on
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: the step.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, do you want the lip to go to meet
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: or do you want it to go overhang in.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Their internal stairs are not floating like that.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: They've got rises and kicking.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Do you reckon?
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: What's the oracle going to say to have it hangover? Really? Okay,
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: what does Laura want? She wants what I want?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: It's not important, Laura.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: She wants what I want. You wanted the other way,
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: didn't you.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: No, I'm open to anything, but I've been left with
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: this decision.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but you think that you've been left with the decision.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: This is the thing.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: You keep getting put in charge of things, but then
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: the final decision you're getting steamrolled. So that's why I
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: ask with the stairs, what is it that Laura wants?
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: With the stairs? I don't know what she wants. I'll
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: tell you what she wants. Whatever I said she wants.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: I'm going to suggest the pencil nose. Fuck this mate,
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: this fucking reno. Hey, it'll be nice, you do it.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not really nice when it's done.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: I'm never doing it. But the build a.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Message just yesterday and he's like, hey, I need those
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: locks locks for the doors. Well, you got to keep
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: everything safe, absolutely, But I was like, okay, how many
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: locks do we need? And he's like, do you need
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: me to count the doors, and I was like.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: How many free storms?
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm now going to try and find
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: locks for every door?
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: Oh fuck. I don't envy your mate.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: That's that's I don't want to be doing that.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: I do not envy you, but I appreciate you keeping
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: me involved.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Can I just ask you really quickly? Have
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: you done for school for Oscar? Have you done any
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: like transition days for KINDI?
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: He's done, it's done, three four three? Really I went
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: to the first one, yeah with him? Yeah, and oh
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: that was more like like a tour day. We spent
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: like a few hours there and you got to see
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: the school. Then he spent time there alone.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: And you're all the kids are doing that? Like how
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: many other parents are there?
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: April has been taking I've been busy, but like, yeah,
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: like a few and how many more will you do?
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: I think we got one more?
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Shit, I've missed all this. I feel like I'm here today.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: You might not have missed it, and they might not
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: do it there. Every school must do it differently.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: No, I missed him.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: I have missed him.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I've got orientation tonight though, Oh with I'm going with Laura. No, Marley.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: It's a parent info Nite on the.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: First day of school. Marg you like, where am I going?
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: And here it is never been there before.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: We have an orientation I think next month, but I'm going,
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: which is very exciting. Going for the first time to
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: figure out.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: Where the school is very cool.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: What's the how long is it or what's it include?
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I get real close to this. Now we should talk
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: about this a bit more.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: I don't want to talk about it because are you
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: gonna cry?
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: No?
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: No, I don't feel like I don't feel I don't
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: feel like I need to be any more prepared than
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: what I am because Marley is just absolutely chomping to
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: be there. Yeah, she's just she's ready.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: That's good, she's ready. She's also I think she definitely
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: should go to one. Do you know what she's experienced?
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: One that like a half they.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they do it. But I've totally I've totally fucked
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: next year because you've done you've moved. Kindy's right, move Kindys.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: But then I forgot that we don't start school until
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: feb ten.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like the Yeah, it's cold. School holidays, bro.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: School holidays is just absolutely bending me over all.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, you're not even there?
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like, so then I went back to
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: the daycare. She's current on the art and I was like,
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: can we come back? And they're like we're full.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, so what are you going to do?
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: I don't know, dude, I don't know.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: Nana, well, there's only one kid, yeah, but I don't
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: know if you. Ash is a bit whimsical, and.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: She's a bit like, oh what do you hear? The
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: shops and forget that Marley's there, and then I'll be like, man,
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: she's like, who are you? Where's you coming from? What
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: do you do with Oscar? Over that time?
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he'll still go to his daycare for two days
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: a week, the other one, the one that doesn't anyway, Yeah,
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: just for two days and then he'll be with me
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: probably majority of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Fuck, what are we going to do?
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Dude?
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Just bring him along? Speaking of kids, Oscar has learned
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: a new skill.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Please.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: He's learned how to whistle, which is very clever because
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: his mum can't whistle.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: Aple can't whistle was because she just never learned or
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: she also can't ride a bike.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Sorry, babe, do you know I tried to teach able
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: how to ride a bike once as a fully grown adult.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: She did it really easily because she's a fully grown
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: adult and can listen.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: But then she was like, I don't want to ride
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: with his people. I'm like, so we're going to ride
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: in private, said nighttime. She did it on a soccer
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: field once.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: Do you have any footage of that?
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: I wish idea. Probably probably can't share that. It would
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: be so funny. We should try again, though.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Apparently there's a huge issue with this generation of kids
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: because no one's learning how to ride bikes. Yeah, bikes
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: are becoming redundant. Apparently. Yeah, they reckon that bikes will
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: become extinct in like like twenty years.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: I feel sorry for all those bike people.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, but he it's gotten me into a little
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: bit of trouble. So I like to do the grocery
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: shopping Sunday morning early enough so that these supermarkets are open,
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: but the other ship shops aren't open, so people are
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: really only just there to do.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: You really hate people there?
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, if you see me in public, don't come
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: near me. No. Actually, I'm not that bad. I'm like GOODO.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I wear a mask, So I'd like to go early,
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: so it's a bit more quiet, and Oscar's a lot
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: of time always talking hate thirty wolf very early nine o'clock.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe it just depends on how but I always say
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Oscar because he is full of beans and he just
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: needs to go and there's not many people at the shop,
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: so he gets gass run like run boy, come back here,
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: whate boy, right, but he's only learned how to a
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: wolf whistle. Now, if you're not familiar with wolf whistling,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: it's bang, thank you.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: Not my strongest, but that's all he can do.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we've been go to the shops. It's quite early,
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: we're down. I think it was the se Real Aisle
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: and there he is.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: What No, I just I just love I love like well.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: The sound in that aisle because of all the cardboard boxes.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: Reverberates No, no, no, it stays within that area.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: Reverberates No.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: If it was glass at reverberate, do you know anything
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: about physics?
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, let me get back on track. But yes,
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: it was the Cereal Aisle. We were looking for intragrain.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: And there was one. There was one lady in the.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Aisle, and Oscar has decided to wolf whistle, good boy
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: at this lady.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: No, I'm jack, that's disgusting.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: No, No, but he didn't know. He doesn't know what
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: he's doing.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: He's like and I was like, looked at her, and
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: she looked at me. She's looked at the kid and
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: thought there's no way that small kid can whistle.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: And she's gone.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: And snelled me and stormed off, and Oscar's like found
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: the newstagrain, like, no idea, your life happened, thanks broke,
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: And so I was like, fuck, bro code man, back
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: me up.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: You did that? And he was like what. I'm like,
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: you can't just walk around wolf whistling people, because that's
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: all he knows what to do.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: You've got to teach him in their tune.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: What should I teach him? I don't know.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: They just like give him like bird noises.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Because they need to be that weird kid who can
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: whistle like a bird. That's me.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: So anyway, Oscar's walking around town wolf whistling anything that
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: walks past. People are confused. That's lovely, It's make mine.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Is there a bird? How loud can you whistle?
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: That's all I got? That's how loud can you whistle?
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: That's all I got.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: What about with your fingers? No?
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Really, that's s your flex move. Thank you, well done, Thank.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: You anyways, just the town predator of the moment. If
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: you see Oscar out and about any wolf, and if
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: you see me out and about with Oscar and you
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: think I have wolf whistled you, I'm a happily married man.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: And Oscar's like, hey young, He's like, you come here often,
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: bless bless his cotton socks. Ash. We didn't do this
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: segment last week, but I think it's time that we play.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: Do we is that we do this? Tell me loud,
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: Tell little loud? I want to go first? Who's first?
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: You go first? Picky favorite?
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, this is from Tanya has written in and she
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: says I told my kids that every time they swear
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: it's one less present, they will get off Santa. Oh
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: this is good, and that's why adults don't get any
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: presents from Santa, because they swear.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: How many presents do you start with?
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: That's the questions I'd be asking your mum, What about
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: I give you one?
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: Go? Hit me? Who wants to hear me? Terribly? Read? Whatever?
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: Feels like? I'm going to go long today? I feel like,
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: I didn't make it up to you, terrible. How long
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: have we got No, that's funny.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: Did you ever have to read that in class?
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: No?
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Once?
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: I did it once.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: I like, sometimes I get nervous reading and I'm about
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: I'm a bad reading.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: I'm very good. No, I'm not.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: But sometimes Laura and I will read it at nighttime.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: We go page for page and Laura is flawless, and
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: sometimes I'm like, don't stuff it up. Yeah, and I'm like, tomorrow.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: Today very good.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: I told my daughter when she was three that I
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: found her in the woods. What okay, let me finish.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: And that's it. That's all I have done. I found
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: her in the woods, plucked all the feathers off her
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: to prepare for cooking, and decided to keep her because
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: I thought she was too cute. She believed me for
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: a while.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: This light came from her asking why I always call
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: her chicken. I'll say, good morning, chicken.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry I missed the first line.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: Be professional. I told my daughter when she was three
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: that I found her in the woods. Sorry, and that's
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: all we have time.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: So fuck okay, So essentially, let me reverse this one
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: for you. Okay, The daughter continued to ask her why
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: her mother her mom why she called chicken because she
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: says good morning chicken, which is lovely.
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: I love that. Like I call Macie possum. What do
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: I say? I found her in the roof anyway, that's bad, Jake.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: I liked it.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: And so she told her that I found you in
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: the woods, plucked all your feathers to prepare to cook you,
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: but decided to keep you because you're so cute.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: That's pretty messed up.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: Well, the thing is she's going to go and tell
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: us friends.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: That, yeah, but also like that poor kid's going to
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: go to bed at nighttime, being like is tonight to night?
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: If Mom's like, gosh, that dinner wasn't that good, I'm
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: still really hungry, the kid's.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: Like yeah, She's like, where is that oven on? And
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: nothing in it? Well, take your clothes off in you go?
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: Hey, is this an ick? Is this an ick?
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say, yeah.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: I call my kids and I don't know how we
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: got here, but I call my kids. Bubba?
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: Is that a nick?
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: If there was like a cringe button, I'll be like
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: it's like it's like when we've spoken about this, for
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: when you talk to your kids in baby, and I
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: think it's okay to.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: Be like, hey, maybe don't draw on the wall.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: I don't say it like that. I'll say, hey, you
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: don't draw on the wall. Bubba is that?
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: Or I'll say it's not look, it's not doing it
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: for me.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Sometimes in public, I would just say come here, Bubba
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: came here?
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: Ever whatever, I'm looking around, But I wonder what Bubba is.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: You gotta be careful because my grandmother's nickname, and it
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: has her whole life is Bubby.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: Okay. She was called bubby as a kid and.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Then she never grew out of it and friends have
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: called her Bubby her whole life, and that she's about
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: in eighty nine.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Is she happy? Was like where she she got? Like?
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: Just in general? Is she happy?
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah? She's psychological damage.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: Is she like, stop calling me bubby? She cries herself
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: asleep over it?
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say it's a nick But who am
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: I to judge you?
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: I hate everything, though.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah I do. I paid them all equally though. That's something.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's go into questions. This question is from Shannon Shannon.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: Sorry, thank you for that.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: She wants to know what's your opinion on pulling your
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: child out of school for a family holiday. Obviously we
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: don't have kids in school yet, but we can talk
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: about the foreseeable future.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, here's how I see it. If it's a public school,
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: fine with it. I'm paying for this private school education.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: A motherfucker is going to be there the whole term.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: But they're the ones that are really strict on it.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: Friend of mine don't to have names. My sister.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: Clinton.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: They had their eldest at a school that you had
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: to pay for, private school if you will, they just
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: been nice. If they took him out of school for
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: a holiday, they would get like a letter of warning
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: warning for.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: What what are they going to do?
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: Kick them out?
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Will hang on a minute, are we going to kick
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: you out after you taking the kid out?
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: It's a feasts of purpose. They're really strict public schools alone.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: What are they strict on? They're getting paid.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: Because they want kids to perform, to learn to be
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: the best.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: I would be more concerned with the school that was like,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: you're getting a warning for taking your kid out of
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: a school you pay for them to go to. It's
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: doing your fucking business of what I'm doing with my kids.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: Next year, you guys want to take another barley trip
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: and go away for six months? Yeah, okay, what do
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: you do about Oscar.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: Leaven behind to take him out? Like it's no one
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: else's business.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: Primary school is the most non critical time of the kids. Yeah, Like,
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: I mean again, we're now experts here.
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think if you want to go on
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: a skiing holiday or take a boat trip for like
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: a month and it's outside of school holidays, if it's
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: in primary school, I think up until year five, fair play.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: But hang on it, someone's someone's getting a warning. Get real?
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: Who how do you think the person who typed that
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: up was feeling at the time to make concern? They
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: must have gone home and be like, guess what, babe
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: gave his parents a warning today because they took their
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: kids on holiday.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: Shout out to all the teachers out there who are
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: doing a great job.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: That's not a teacher, to I was a teacher.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: That's an administ a teacher, Well, they should be an
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: admin assistant whoever that teacher is.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: If you're listening, that's oh god. But I think it's
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: just a bit much.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: I'd love to know from people who do have their
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: kids in school already. Like, when you want to take
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: the kids out for a holiday, do you just do
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: you like fake an illness or do you just say like, hey,
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: we're taking Timmy out to go.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: I think that's like correct, ord I want to be honest.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: What's the point of being like he's really sick? And
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: then you see me on Instagram and I've got oscar
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: in a pool in Bali.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Well not everyone's got a million followers, Ashwicks. One day
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: you have a question.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: I do have a question. And it's also holiday based.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: We love talking about holidays.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: Should we go on one? Yes, we should more so.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: I was on holidays with a few different families.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, come on, we know about this. We heard it
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: last week.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, and they're close friends. Yeah. So I've known the
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: kids their whole lives. And my question is, Matt, is
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: it okay for me to tell another child off that's
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: a friend of mine's.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: It all comes down to tone, which is one thing
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: that you're not great at.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: That's lie.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: You can at times be aggressive, I can fucking not condescending. Yes, okay, Yes,
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: you have a very strong voice. I think it's a
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: voice that you're I don't know if you're aware of
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: its full capabilities and the impact that it has another
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: people who have to hear that voice. Well said, you're
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: like a man who has been born with so much
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: strength that you're like crushing cans and people's hands when
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: you shake them.
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: Why do I have an erection?
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: Welcome? So you have to I mean I I once,
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: it's easy in the moment because I recently was on
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: a holiday.
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: Must be nice.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: And all the kids, you know, we'll playing six kids,
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: everyone's playing around each other, and you kind of sometimes
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: forget that you have to talk to someone else's kid
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: in a different tone, a bit more gentle, and not
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: the tone that you would talk to your own kids.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: So you're like, what are you doing? I mean, Timmy,
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: you cannot poke someone?
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: What out there doing? Down there? You die? Timmy, sir tim.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: But yeah, how did you do it in balley?
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: How do yell at them? I think it's I think.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: It comes down to how well you know the other family. Yes,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: I think it's okay to be like, hey, you know,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: don't hit people, and you don't talk like that.
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: I try to.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: How many kids do you hit when you're a balance?
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: Zero kids?
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Just I'm joking, but they but it was more like
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: in valance again's kids is not a funny matter.
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: Just put just so you know, I disclaim up little
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: asterix continue, isn't it.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: It wasn't like it was just when you've got a
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: lot of kids on holidays, as you know, they there's
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: no boundaries with them. I found I find that I
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: needed to set some boundaries with some of the kids
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: kept coming into my villa and be like, go back
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: to your parents.
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: For a second.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: I'm just I need to do something over here. But
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: there was a couple of times where I'm like, can
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: you go back? Like not like you know, and it's
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: kind of like, is that the wrong wrong with you?
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, I get down to.
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: The letter this ned you go back to your house
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: right now. I throw you back.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: You know what's good for you?
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: I just think like if you know them well enough
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: and like you, I feel like the same with friends
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: telling my kids off.
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: But I know there'd be some parents out there to
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: be like and you would know them really well and
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: you'd be like.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: Timmy, don't do that, and someone would be like, hey, dude,
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: don't talk to my kid like that.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: That sucks.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: I think if your kid's been a little shit or
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: a turd. I think it's warranted that if someone says, hey,
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: don't do that because I don't like it in my space,
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: do it in your space.
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: That's completely fine.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: What about okay, what about if someone would.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: Hurt your kid?
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: Hurt and yes, hurt, and you know you have to
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: play it down where like see someone hit Marley, but
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: it's in front of everyone. Everyone saw it, and Marley's
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: now crying and they're like, I'm so sorry about Timmy
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: hitting Marley, and you're like, oh, it's fine, it's fine,
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: it's fine. It happens. It happened to the kids playing
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: all the time. Did you have to do that, BALI?
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think because like Oscar and Oscar and Lenne
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: so sorry about best friends Oscar being stabbed and you're like, oh,
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: it's fine, fine again, that happens.
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: He's used to it.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, like, for example, Oscar and Lenny like
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: best mates and every day together, go to school together.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: If they fight, best friends, they fire, and usually it
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: takes two to tango. Okay, very rarely are you with
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: kids that know each other that one will just walk
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: up and go fucking whushgu for no reason whatsoever. There's
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: usually a reason there's going to be the anomaly kids
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: that we're going to point them out. But those kids
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: that do that because they might be wired a little
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: bit differently. But usually when when it did happen over there,
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: and Lenny is.
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: Quite a bit bigger than Oscar would hit Oscar or.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: Something, I'll be like, what happened, and who hit me?
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: Usually there's a reason Oscar pinched him. No shitty hit you, dickhead.
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: You do play that down. He's like, it's okay. Kids
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: will be kids, right.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: If there's no other parent around in that moment, I
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: will say you can't do that. But then I'll also
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: say the parent, look, I had to tell Lenny Paul
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: Lennie's Lenny's actually getting surgery today. So I'm sorry Lenny,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: So okay, he's not here to defend himself anyway. I'll say, hey, look,
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Lenny hit Oscar, but Oscar did pinch him.
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: Just so you know, I just said to them both,
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: don't do that. This guy, that's fair enough. Dad of
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: the year.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: The first Lenny's confident again, the first name that was like,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: and he's like, and then because Oscar follows Lenny does
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: Lenny like you No, that's right because Lenny's mom said
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: to him like was disciplining him with something, and he goes,
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: you sound like WIXI, I'm angry dad.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: Anyway, Hey, this has been one hell of an episode,
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: one of our best. Before we go we to ride,
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: we do have to remind people that we do have
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: the competition yep, to win a holiday to Hamilton Island.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: It's for three nights for the family, two kids to
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: adults to Hamilton Island, staying at the Sunday's New Resort,
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: brand new, hasn't he master yet to be nice, very
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: nice with all the trimmings as well. We won't go
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: into exactly what you get. Look at our Instagram and
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: you'll see exactly what the prize entails. Tonight, ash it begins.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: The vote offs are happening. We are hand picking the
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: most traumatic nightmare situations that kids have put their parents in,
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: proving that they are deserving of a holiday.
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: So how does that work though?
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: So head to head, you vote for which one you
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: want to proceed to the next round, and we make
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: the videos vote off against each other.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: How many rounds we're going to do depends how any
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: entries we get we figure it out, but the winner
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: will be announced Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: But hey, just going to say, just between you and me,
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: the listener, if you have a red hot video, if
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: your kid is.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: If they're doing something stupid right now, yeah, if they
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: shave their head, their head, the sibling's head, that's what
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: I want to see.
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: You know. If you think it's deserving of a holiday,
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: just send it to us quickly. Okay, get it to us.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: We could make the vote off and it has to
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: be good.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: If it's good enough, we'll slip it in there.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: That's what she said, because.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: We want to make sure that the most deserving parent
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: or parents get this holiday.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, you don't want to miss out on it.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: So if you deserve it, let us know. Show us
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: the content. Now, Ash, my friend, we should get out
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: of here.
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: We should.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: five stars.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: Comment will be nice.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: Subscribe that would be nice too, and join us on
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: social media.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, Facebook, we have a group called two Doting Dads.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: We need to accept you, which we will.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Screening process is very thorough.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: Very thorough. That's like you've got a first name on
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: the last name you're in welcome.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: TikTok Instagram and I think that's everything.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: That is everything. Good job, well done, huzza.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: We'll see you guys next week.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: Let's finish this episode.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: Finish joke.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, quick joke, this is an original. Okay, did you
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: hear that the guy from Supersized Me died?
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: No? You do? You know how he died? Nick colon cancer?
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: No good, that's bad. That's how he died.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: That's really bad. Yeah, thank you. That's what I was
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: going for. I was thought about it last night when
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: I shot asleep.
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: Two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestright Islander
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: peoples today.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land