Latest / Ambitious Podcast / EP.75: The Truth About High-Functioning Anxiety, Trauma, and Entrepreneurship | The Ambitious Podcast

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EP.75: The Truth About High-Functioning Anxiety, Trauma, and Entrepreneurship | The Ambitious Podcast · Ambitious Podcast

• 0:00
  Most people have unresolved trauma from their past that they
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  haven't yet faced. They think that the way the
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  average person lives, because they don't know any better, is a
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  driving force that perpetuates anxiety and depression.
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  Most people spend a lot of time scrolling, feeling inadequate,
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  feeling like they're less than, feeling like they're a failure.
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  They get caught up in the pattern of comparison, and then
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  they wonder why they feel depressed.
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  I don't even want to be on social media.
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  I don't even want to be on my phone, but yet I'm constantly
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  feeling pulled toward it. It's.
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  So much easier to scroll social media that it is to sit in your
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  own skin, to sit with your own thoughts, to have to look
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  yourself in the mirror. Hello and welcome back to
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  Ambitious. Today we are joined by an
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  incredible guest, Stephanie. Stephanie is a speaker and a
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  coach who helps people to navigate trauma, addiction,
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  mental health with honesty, compassion, and lived
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  experience. In this episode, Stephanie
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  unpacks her experience with trauma and addiction and
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  actually unpacking her journey around healing.
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  We talk about how childhood trauma shapes your sense of self
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  and also creates patterns within adulthood.
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  We talk about why therapy is actually in itself not enough,
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  and what actually helps people to truly feel safe again within
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  their lives. We talked about the role of
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  movement and embodiment and being able to process your
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  trauma. How shame and suppression
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  actually fuels cycles of addiction and disconnection.
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  What does it mean to actually re parent yourself now that you're
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  an adult? Why can healing feel boring?
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  And why maybe for you, that's actually a good sign.
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  The cost of hustle culture and how you're actually using this
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  as a way to navigate unresolved trauma, as well as how you can
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  help other people and yourself to feel less alone in your
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  mental health journey. This entire episode is just
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  filled. With Nuggets and 1 liners and
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  phrases and mantras and information that is going to be
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  insanely helpful for you if you are someone who's looking to
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  better understand mental health, better understand trauma, and
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  better understand what addiction actually looks like for
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  potentially the everyday person within their life.
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  So without further ado, let's get into today's episode.
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  Hello you guys, and welcome back to Ambitious.
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  I am very excited for today's episode because we are joined by
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  the incredible Stephanie and we are going to be talking about
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  all things mental health and unpacking all the layers
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  underneath that. So, Stephanie, welcome to
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  Ambitious. Thank you, I'm so grateful to be
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  here. Yeah, I'm so excited to dive
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  into this. And we were just, you know,
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  saying, guys, before we press record how much of like a needed
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  conversation this is because obviously many of us navigate,
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  you know, resistance is when it comes to mental health.
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  And I think we truthfully don't have enough people talking about
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  it publicly or maybe as openly or candidly in a way that can
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  help people. So Stephanie, I wanted to kind
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  of see as a starting point, like mental health, it seems like is
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  a growing conversation, which is incredible and obviously is the
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  goal. But I think that that's also
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  because mental health and the issues around people having
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  struggling with mental health is also on the rise.
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  So I'm curious when it comes to the resistances that people are
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  experiencing of, you know, increased depression, increased
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  anxiety, and we're seeing all these numbers skyrocket.
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  What do you kind of attribute that to or where do you think
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  that comes from? Yes, I love that we're having
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  this conversation today truly due just because mental health,
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  as you shared, is completely on the rise.
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  And I really think it's because there's more conversation about
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  it and there's access to media and social media where people
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  are actually talking about these things, right?
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  Whereas before maybe people were struggling behind closed doors
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  and there wasn't so much foreignness in the world, but
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  today there's this foreignness where we're more connected
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  because of social media. So there's kind of like this
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  highlighter on mental health and it's, it's so much more than
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  just this buzzing word that we hear on the Internet.
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  But I do believe that now more than ever, especially here the
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  the American way, people are working 40 plus hours a week,
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  people are struggling with sleep, people are living off of
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  processed food, right? There's all these things that
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  contribute to our mental health. And I think that the way the
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  average person lives because they don't know any better is a
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  driving force that perpetuates anxiety and depression.
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  I think it's lifestyle, I think it's, I think it's stress, I
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  think it's environment. It comes down to those things.
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  And then of course, most people have unresolved trauma from
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  their past that they haven't yet faced, and as a result it
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  manifests as addiction or anxiety or depression.
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  OK, So I would love to dive into that because I think, you know,
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  obviously lifestyle's a huge factor.
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  If you think about even the way that older generations had it,
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  they were able to go to work, come home, put work away.
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  They weren't thinking about it until the next day, had dinner
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  with their family all sitting at the same table.
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  And now we're relying on things like, you know, you know, Uber
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  Eats quickly on the go and drive throughs because you have no
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  time to do anything on top of work, raising a family and all
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  these pieces. So when it comes to lifestyle,
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  what are some of the core elements that you see with even
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  the clients that you work with in your practice and you know,
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  in your profession? What are some of the lifestyle
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  factors that people might be able to kind of check in on or
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  self identify with that might be maybe like an underlying culprit
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  of something that's aggravating and and kind of inflating their
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  mental health right now? The biggest thing that we see as
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  a contributing factor is being plugged into the phone around
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  the clock because people are sitting at the family dinner
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  table trying to enjoy dinner and the phone is beeping and then
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  they're stopping in the middle of that moment to clear their
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  notifications to respond to that e-mail, right?
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  And so that in itself perpetuates anxiety and stress
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  and maybe even fear creates this dysregulation because you're
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  constantly being pulled by something.
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  And then also social media, we know people post everything that
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  they want you to see. And as a result, most people
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  spend a lot of time scrolling, feeling inadequate, feeling like
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  they're less than, feeling like they're a failure.
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  They get caught up in the pattern of comparison, and then
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  they wonder why they feel depressed.
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  And So what we have found is that if people can have healthy
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  boundaries around their access to social media and technology
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  as a whole, that in itself can help reduce some of the levels
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  of anxiety and depression that one faces.
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  Obviously, there's a bunch of other things that you must
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  incorporate into your day-to-day to become a well-rounded person
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  who is experiencing optimal well-being, but that's one easy
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  fix that a person can take to really see a reduction in some
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  of the things that they're struggling with.
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  It does seem so, and it sounds silly to say, but it does seem
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  so hard to do though to be able to put the phone away right?
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  And it like, I wonder, is it because of the, the dopamine hit
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  that we get, right? We, we hear this term of, of the
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  doom scroll in the sense of like, I don't even want to be on
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  social media. I don't even want to be on my
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  phone, but yet I'm constantly feeling pulled toward it.
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  And I'm curious for you, like, what do you think that that's
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  attributed to? Why do we feel even when we
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  consciously don't want to be on our phone, why are we still
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  feeling this pull to somehow always be on it?
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  You nailed it. It's the dopamine, right?
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  So every time you go on your phone and you see those
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  notifications, someone liked your post, someone left a
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  comment, there's that little release of dopamine and it's
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  that reward. It feels good to see that.
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  And so naturally, this is a much deeper conversation, but people
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  actually get addicted to the release of the chemicals that
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  are happening in the brain and the body.
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  And so automatically we're drawn to it, no different than we are
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  drawn to certain foods that we know aren't good for us or those
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  who struggle with other forms of addiction, right?
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  Most people will say I don't want to drink anymore, but
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  there's relief when I drink, right?
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  So they do it just as I don't want to spend, you know,
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  literally an hour and a half plus on social media.
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  Some people are spending 35 hours on social media every day.
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  But there's that constant draw to it because of the release
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  that happened. So I think that there's truly an
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  addiction that's taking. Place and I'm wondering and I'm
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  not sure even for my own education, is there an aspect of
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  similar into your point? Cuz I know obviously you do a
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  lot of addiction work and are extremely educated in it, in
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  being able to step away from social.
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  Does that mean that it also potentially kind of gives us in
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  some way shape or form a taste of like truthfully like
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  withdrawal in the sense of like we're getting this dopamine from
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  social. And so when we step back from
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  it, we're feeling this, you know, anxiety, fear, discomfort,
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  basically around wanting to go back to it to kind of feel back
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  to, to baseline again. 100% And I also think that most people
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  are relying on social media without even realizing that it's
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  filling a void that they have within themselves.
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  It's distracting them from having to face themselves.
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  And it's so much easier to scroll social media that it is
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  to sit in your own skin, to sit with your own thoughts, to have
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  to look yourself in the mirror, so to speak, right?
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  Because then you have to face yourself.
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  And that requires a level of accountability and willingness
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  and vulnerability that most people fear taking.
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  And so I think that social media is a perfect way for people to
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  put a Band-Aid on whatever it is that they're really avoiding.
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  Now, yes, of course, in some cases, social media can be used
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  for inspiration and things like that.
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  I'm not saying all people on social media are filling a void.
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  But I do think that there is this subconscious thing that
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  happens that it's just this easy way to scroll and next thing you
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  know, hours go by and you don't have to face the thing that you
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  wanted to face. And maybe facing the one thing
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  is like finally applying to college, picking up the phone
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  and calling somebody, you know, maybe it's not this this big
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  trauma, but maybe it's just keeping you in the pattern of
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  procrastination from pursuing the things that you want to
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  pursue in life, which is something subconscious.
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  Right. And I'm wondering that practice
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  of avoidance, whatever that thing is, it could be the
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  avoidance of doing the laundry. It could be the avoidance of, of
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  doing, as you said, like applying for school, whatever
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  that thing may be. How does that type of practice
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  of avoidance kind of contribute or potentially play a role
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  within things like depression or anxiety?
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  Because sometimes even for myself, I've felt when I've been
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  at low periods that I'd be on social media and I would leave
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  it feeling worse. Like you would go thinking, I'm
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  going to go scroll my phone to feel something that's, you know,
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  scroll, as you said, something inspirational or something
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  that's motivational. But then as soon as you put the
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  phone down, you kind of feel like this low point, like you
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  wouldn't necessarily feel charged after consuming it.
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  So I'm wondering, is there also a tie in your opinion?
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  Or do you think that there's a connection between the
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  consumption that's potentially making someone who might have a
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  baseline of any kind of level of depression or anxiety even
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  potentially worse? Absolutely.
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  I mean, just being on the screen, just the screen aspect
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  and the light, that in itself we know isn't good for the brain
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  long term, right? Like, it's one thing to check
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  that e-mail and respond or to do a quick Instagram scroll, but to
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  be on it scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, it's gonna
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  naturally lower your mood. And also, again, I think that we
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  are receiving information literally all day.
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  You can't get through the day without receiving information,
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  whether it's your phone's ringing and you pick up the
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  call, you're standing in the checkout line at the grocery
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  store and there's magazines with titles everywhere.
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  You're on social media, you're at work.
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  Like there's constant information.
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  And so the way I look at it is imagine if your body almost is
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  like this can and stuff is being shoved in it all day.
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  If we don't intentionally pause to empty the can to Createspace,
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  then naturally it's going to spill over.
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  It's going to feel really heavy, right?
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  And then imagine if you're like, actually walking through life
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  carrying a can that hasn't been emptied.
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  Like, at what point are you going to be like, I need to
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  empty this can? Like this is hard.
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  Yeah, right. So the same is true for our
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  brain and body. We have to create that pause,
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  that space and take care of ourselves.
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  That self-care aspect is so so. Important so for someone who's
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  listening and they think OK like I feel like I have the mindset,
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  I have the perspective of I'd like to be on my phone less but
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  yet I find myself time and time again being on it non-stop.
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  Any recommendations or maybe insights as to maybe why even
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  though they have the intention, they're not doing it?
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  Well, I think that we stay in what we know.
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  We're very habitual, you know, we're very habitual.
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  And so when something has been familiar to us, we naturally
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  stay in it because now it's a habit.
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  It's happening automatically. Most people, myself included,
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  all end up on Instagram. And I'm like, how did I even
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  just have on Instagram like I was?
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  Just a rabbit hole. Hauled into the kitchen, like
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  why am I on Instagram, right? So in other words, it's
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  happening automatically. I think that if we really want
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  to create change in our life on social media, outside of social
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  media, it doesn't matter what area of your life, it requires a
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  certain level of awareness, which means you must be paying
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  attention moment to moment. And when you find yourself going
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  to do that very thing you don't want to do, you have to stop and
• 12:56
  correct yourself in the moment, right?
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  So for example, let's say you want to spend less time on
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  social media and you are walking from the hallway to the kitchen
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  and you find yourself automatically going on it.
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  The moment you become aware that you're on social media, stop,
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  don't continue scrolling. Correct the behavior in the
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  moment because that's how you're going to correct that new way of
• 13:16
  being or create that new way of being, right?
• 13:20
  You can't keep doing the same thing and then at the end of the
• 13:22
  day, being like, oh, I wish I had this new way of being.
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  Change has to happen in the moment you're doing the thing
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  that you want to change. Does that make sense?
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  Yep, TuneIn notice it name the fact like OK I'm on my Instagram
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  great. And then move and take action
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  immediately. OK, you mentioned something
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  earlier, which I'm really excited to dive into cuz I like
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  had like Ding Ding, Ding in my head as you said it, which was
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  sometimes we're on and we're distracting with things, whether
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  it's social media, something else in our lives, because we're
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  really avoiding doing some level of work.
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  Now that obviously can be something small like as I said,
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  doing a laundry or applying for school or a small task that
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  you're avoiding. But for me, when you said that,
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  I instantly went to something deeper, which was avoiding
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  something that I know is brewing inside of me, I thought I'm
• 14:06
  having a fear, I'm having something I'm ruminating on or
• 14:09
  potentially a trauma in the sense of something that's, you
• 14:12
  know, occur that's happened in your life.
• 14:14
  And it's interesting because, you know, for me, for business,
• 14:17
  we've hosted retreats and the retreats are kind of half
• 14:20
  personal development and half business oriented.
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  But it was really interesting because when we put people in a
• 14:26
  space and kind of create and set a container where there wasn't
• 14:29
  distractions and they had to just be with themselves in the
• 14:32
  sense of in silence or just around other people, but not
• 14:35
  constantly distracted or stimulated.
• 14:38
  That alone with no prompt brought up a lot for a lot of
• 14:42
  people because they had never been in a setting or in an
• 14:46
  environment where they weren't stimulated and distracted.
• 14:50
  And so I'm curious for you, when you kind of nodded obviously to
• 14:53
  the fact that sometimes people are avoiding being in tune with
• 14:57
  themselves, what might be some areas that someone could be
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  avoiding if they're not comfortable really sitting in
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  that lack of stimulation? Yeah, well, this to me, this
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  question brings me right away to a trauma response of, of fight,
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  flight, freeze and fawn. And so someone who has
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  unresolved trauma in their life, understanding trauma is not
• 15:19
  always what happened to us. Sometimes it's what didn't
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  happen for us. And it's the narrative that one
• 15:26
  has, right, the perception that one has as a result of what
• 15:29
  happened or what didn't happen. So I want to start by clarifying
• 15:32
  what trauma is, right? Because like I think sometimes,
• 15:34
  as you said before we hit record, people think trauma has
• 15:37
  to be this huge injury or this huge event.
• 15:41
  And we discount our emotional needs.
• 15:43
  And when our emotional needs haven't been met, whether as a
• 15:46
  child, an adolescent, an infant, or even as an adult, it creates
• 15:50
  trauma because we start to develop this narrative that I'm
• 15:52
  not good enough, my needs aren't important, so on and so forth.
• 15:55
  And so naturally we will fall into a trauma response.
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  It's it's an automatic thing that happens.
• 16:02
  And so someone who has unmet needs and unresolved trauma,
• 16:06
  they likely have a freeze response, or they could have a
• 16:09
  freeze response. And what that means is someone
• 16:12
  in a freeze response will struggle with decision making.
• 16:15
  They'll be stuck in the patterns of procrastination.
• 16:18
  They will spend countless hours on social media, they will binge
• 16:22
  watch TV. They will avoid doing the
• 16:23
  laundry. They will struggle with the
• 16:26
  simple task. It's not because they don't want
• 16:28
  to do these things. In fact, they want to do these
• 16:30
  things, but their body won't allow them to.
• 16:32
  It's almost as if they're they're stuck energetically,
• 16:35
  right? And so I think that that's
• 16:37
  really what blocks people is that there's something happening
• 16:40
  in the brain and the body almost like it's created a traffic jam
• 16:43
  and now we can't get around it to do the things that we want to
• 16:46
  do or do the things that we need to do or that we desire to do.
• 16:49
  So we have to identify what are those things and then process
• 16:53
  through that, work through them so that we can take that first
• 16:56
  step and follow through. OK.
• 16:59
  So that's the the freeze. What do we see when it comes to
• 17:02
  behavior that you typically see around the flight aspect?
• 17:06
  Flight is flea run, right? So avoid typically a person in a
• 17:09
  flight response. This might be the person who
• 17:11
  goes, goes, goes, works, works, works.
• 17:13
  Never ever slows down. It's like we're laying in bed
• 17:17
  and we're still checking e-mail. It's like slow it out, you know,
• 17:21
  like give it. AI was like, I feel a little
• 17:23
  triggered right now. I think that there's some of
• 17:25
  those. Identify with me, yeah.
• 17:27
  Oh my goodness, I'm speaking totally to myself, which is why
• 17:30
  it's so easy for me to talk about this because I've lived
• 17:32
  it, you know, this was once me in so many ways.
• 17:35
  But flight is really about avoiding.
• 17:37
  It's so much easier to stay constantly busy than it is to be
• 17:42
  still because being still brings up stuff, whether like, just
• 17:47
  like you said, thoughts, emotions, fears, realities,
• 17:50
  insecurities, whatever it might be.
• 17:52
  So that person would rather just go, go, go, then have to take
• 17:56
  the chance of sitting with themselves.
• 17:57
  It's not safe. It doesn't feel safe to sit with
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  stuff. I definitely resonate with that
• 18:03
  for sure because I think that there was a point even where
• 18:06
  people in my circle, I had kind of put it over the cloak of
• 18:09
  like, I'm just being productive and I do more than most people
• 18:13
  and I'm a high performer. And like all of these labels
• 18:16
  that would allow me, frankly, if I'm being direct to hide in it.
• 18:20
  And so this past year I had left like a, an engagement in an 8
• 18:24
  year relationship. And so it was interesting when
• 18:27
  it happened, I immediately drove into work and I was OK, great,
• 18:32
  go, go, go. And it was just like, I got
• 18:33
  stuff to get done. And so many people around me,
• 18:36
  even someone who I, I have as a peer, who's a trauma informed
• 18:39
  coach who works with people in trauma day in day out, was like,
• 18:42
  Hey, this what you think is high performer, being productive, Go
• 18:47
  go, go high achiever, quote UN quote ambitious is not what you
• 18:50
  think it is. You're really hiding.
• 18:52
  And I, I'm, I think we need to take some space to have a moment
• 18:55
  of just complete stillness in the sense of like tuning into
• 18:58
  yourself in whatever way feels to your point, safe, because if
• 19:03
  you don't, it's really just delaying the inevitable.
• 19:06
  It's, it's coming. That feeling that you're going
• 19:08
  to experience is going to happen.
• 19:09
  It's just more a matter of when. And so to to your point of
• 19:13
  feeling safe, that was exactly how I felt.
• 19:16
  I didn't know when I would cry or when I would have this very
• 19:21
  intense almost to be on a scary level of emotion come up.
• 19:25
  I didn't know or feel that I was in a space to be able to process
• 19:29
  it. I was like, what am I supposed
• 19:30
  to do with this overwhelming, extremely uncomfortable,
• 19:32
  terrifying feels like I don't feel comfortable with my own
• 19:36
  skin feeling. It was so overwhelming that only
• 19:39
  when I worked did that really push that all away.
• 19:43
  And so to your point of feeling safe, because I know obviously
• 19:46
  people talk a lot about I don't feel safe to process.
• 19:48
  I don't feel safe to feel when you when you say people don't
• 19:52
  feel safe, what are some things someone might feel that kind of
• 19:55
  are a sign that they may not feel safe to feel?
• 19:58
  Yeah, I think it's when someone finds themselves avoiding, right
• 20:02
  by being on the go, numbing, using sex, drugs, gambling,
• 20:07
  porn, shopping, social media, food, right.
• 20:10
  To not have to feel that would be a sign that someone doesn't
• 20:13
  feel safe. They have developed an unhealthy
• 20:15
  way of coping. That coping makes sense, but it
• 20:17
  is unhealthy and it can become problematic down the road.
• 20:20
  I think that if people find themselves constantly in
• 20:22
  relationships, so avoiding being alone because you're in one
• 20:25
  relationship to the next. Or if you're that person who
• 20:29
  again, you're always on the go, even down to like you're sitting
• 20:32
  on the couch, but you're let me text somebody.
• 20:35
  You can't even just sit there and watch TV.
• 20:36
  Let me just text or let me, this is a good time to FaceTime
• 20:38
  someone. It's like, but is it really a
• 20:40
  good time to face someone, or are you just keeping yourself so
• 20:43
  busy because you don't know how to just be still?
• 20:46
  Yeah. You feel attacked.
• 20:47
  You said the multitasker, The multitasker that is
• 20:50
  multitasking. And you're like, are you or are
• 20:53
  you just not being present? Yeah, right.
• 20:55
  Or are you not being present? And for most of us, if we're
• 20:57
  honest with each other, it's that we're not being present.
• 21:01
  And I think it's because we've never learned what it means to
• 21:04
  be present. No one ever taught us that.
• 21:06
  The only time we have is now. No one.
• 21:10
  We have been so conditioned to think about the future, worry
• 21:14
  about the future, plan for the future.
• 21:16
  And we've witnessed people in our lives, sometimes our own,
• 21:19
  our parents, our caregivers, our siblings, our closest people
• 21:22
  have modeled to us that they're still talking about what
• 21:25
  happened in the past. And so as a result, we have
• 21:28
  lived with one foot and yesterday and 1 foot and
• 21:30
  tomorrow, robbing ourselves with the only time we have.
• 21:33
  And then we wonder why we don't feel safe.
• 21:36
  Well, how can we feel safe if we're reliving the painful
• 21:38
  memories of yesterday and worrying about the worst
• 21:42
  possible thing that could happen that hasn't actually happened
• 21:44
  yet? Yeah, and then we're.
• 21:46
  Like, I don't feel together now. Yeah, right.
• 21:49
  Yeah. But what I have learned, and I
• 21:51
  have overcome so much and I'm still overcoming so much of my
• 21:54
  own trauma. What I have learned is that when
• 21:57
  I can safely guide myself back to where my feet are and notice
• 22:02
  what is happening around me, the true environment that I'm in
• 22:06
  right now, right, and be aware with all of my senses, what do I
• 22:09
  see, what do I hear, what do I taste, what do I feel, right,
• 22:13
  then I can feel safe. Little by little, I can find
• 22:16
  safety because my environment is actually safe, right?
• 22:20
  So unless you're actually in a situation that is not safe, it
• 22:23
  doesn't make sense not to feel safe.
• 22:25
  But our body doesn't know the difference between that past
• 22:28
  trauma and now. We have to teach our body that
• 22:31
  we are safe now. And in that, I'm curious, how
• 22:35
  does the trauma network come into this in the sense of, you
• 22:39
  know, I, I had somebody who was very close to me who experienced
• 22:42
  A trauma when they were younger and something like a smell
• 22:46
  instantly activated all of the emotions of that trauma that
• 22:51
  they had experienced and the context of the trauma.
• 22:54
  To your point earlier, and I think it's important as I really
• 22:56
  just want to reiterate it for everybody with this was not a A1
• 23:00
  time catastrophic event. Like I think so many people
• 23:03
  think of trauma to be something like going to war or for
• 23:06
  example, a intense assault that happens to somebody that's it's
• 23:10
  this one critical event that everything is stemmed to.
• 23:13
  But this was really a childhood parent dynamic that has just
• 23:17
  forever sat with this individual.
• 23:19
  So I'm curious, like for them, when they were trying to kind of
• 23:24
  again, process and go through things that this came up when it
• 23:27
  comes to the trauma network, it got activated in them.
• 23:30
  Can you maybe explain what the trauma network is for anyone
• 23:32
  who's not familiar? And then also, how does the
• 23:34
  trauma network potentially play a role in US continuing to
• 23:38
  experience trauma even as we go on and we live our lives?
• 23:41
  Sure. So a very simple way for
• 23:43
  everyone to understand this is imagine every single experience
• 23:46
  that you live, good, bad or indifferent.
• 23:49
  It doesn't matter what the experience is, it creates
• 23:52
  emotion. Every experience creates
• 23:54
  emotion. Emotion is nothing more than
• 23:56
  information and that information lives in the body.
• 24:00
  It's stored in the body. And so maybe you are struggling
• 24:05
  with constant headaches. Maybe you are the person you
• 24:07
  constantly has tension in your your shoulders, your lower back,
• 24:10
  your hips. That's old information that's
• 24:13
  stuck in the body from some memory, right?
• 24:17
  And So what happens is the brain makes these associations and
• 24:21
  that information stays there. And so to your point, let's say
• 24:24
  someone had a traumatic memory at 9 years of age and now Fast
• 24:28
  forward and they're 25 or 35 and one thing happens and all of a
• 24:32
  sudden they can smell what happened at 9.
• 24:36
  It could have even been, let's use this as an example.
• 24:39
  A candle spilt over and their mom yelled at them.
• 24:43
  We got in trouble because they possibly almost started a fire
• 24:45
  or wax ruined the carpet, right? And now they're 35 years old and
• 24:50
  what happens? A candle tips over.
• 24:52
  They're not really freaking out of the candle that tipped over
• 24:55
  in this moment. Their body brings them way back
• 24:58
  to that 9 year old episode, right?
• 25:01
  Because of that, the association that exists.
• 25:04
  And so I think that it's really important for people to have the
• 25:07
  awareness that every single memory lives in your body.
• 25:10
  Trauma is literally stored in your body.
• 25:13
  And so again, our job is to have that awareness to know what are
• 25:17
  the facts of the actual moment you're in right now, right?
• 25:22
  Are they actually happening now? Is it reality now?
• 25:26
  Or when something triggers you and you're activated, is it
• 25:29
  bringing up that old stuff? But you have to be paying
• 25:32
  attention to identify is this new stuff or is this old stuff
• 25:38
  right. And what are some of those
• 25:39
  feelings that someone feels in that moment?
• 25:41
  Like if you if you're at work because you obviously you do
• 25:43
  trauma work. And if someone is feeling like
• 25:45
  they're trying to create a connection between, OK, is what
• 25:48
  I'm feeling in this moment part of something totally different?
• 25:51
  Or is this connected to a trauma?
• 25:53
  What are some of the awarenesses that someone could tune into?
• 25:57
  To the point of your candle example, if someone has the
• 26:00
  situation and maybe they haven't connected the dots yet, how does
• 26:03
  someone connect the dots of their current behavior to
• 26:07
  something that traces back to potentially a trauma?
• 26:10
  Yeah, so a simple technique. We use this all the time.
• 26:12
  I use it in my own life. We use it with clients.
• 26:15
  It's very effective. When you find yourself feeling
• 26:17
  triggered or activated emotionally, if something were
• 26:20
  to happen now, pause and ask 5 what's what is coming up in me?
• 26:26
  Answer it and then keep peeling the layers asking what five
• 26:30
  times? Usually when you ask what five
• 26:32
  times, it'll guide the person to the core of what's really
• 26:35
  happening for them. More often than not, when we are
• 26:38
  emotionally activated, it usually really has nothing to do
• 26:42
  with happening, what's happening now.
• 26:43
  Sometimes it does, but it's usually bringing us back to a
• 26:46
  past memory that has not yet been processor or resolved.
• 26:51
  And so ask yourself the five what's just what's coming up in
• 26:54
  me? Answer.
• 26:54
  Then ask that again. What?
• 26:56
  What is that about? Answer it.
• 26:58
  Ask what again. Keep doing that five times and
• 27:01
  it'll usually guide you to what's really happening in that
• 27:03
  moment for you. Got it.
• 27:05
  OK. And so I'm thinking for someone
• 27:07
  listening to this, they're probably thinking, OK, well, if
• 27:10
  I maybe I'm someone who knows that I've experienced some
• 27:13
  trauma when I was younger or have experienced some trauma of
• 27:16
  different types of flavors in my life.
• 27:18
  Obviously the goal for most people would not wait till a
• 27:21
  moment when they're triggered, of course, to have to feel that
• 27:23
  that's the moment we're going to deal with the trauma.
• 27:25
  So I'm curious in a preventative nature, in the work that you do,
• 27:29
  where does someone even start with trying to decide?
• 27:33
  I want to better understand how trauma is impacting my life
• 27:36
  because I think there's a lot of people who go about the
• 27:39
  day-to-day who maybe, again, have no correlation or belief
• 27:42
  maybe that these two things are interconnected.
• 27:45
  And so them lacking motivation today, they don't correlate to,
• 27:50
  again, a trauma response. If they are having a certain
• 27:54
  behavior that might be a little bit addictive to your point of
• 27:56
  whether it's a substance, it could be sex, it could be
• 27:59
  anything. They're not attributing that to
• 28:01
  anything. Trauma.
• 28:03
  If someone knows that maybe they've had some traumatic
• 28:05
  events, but they currently are not in a place where they see
• 28:08
  the connection, what are some things that could kind of help
• 28:11
  someone to understand the role that may be past trauma is
• 28:15
  playing in their current life? I think that education, I think
• 28:20
  that taking the time to listen to podcasts, read self help
• 28:23
  books, right? Gain as much awareness as you
• 28:26
  possibly can around the topic of healing and, and self discovery
• 28:30
  and and recovery. You don't have to go overboard,
• 28:32
  but I think having the education is super important because
• 28:35
  again, a lot of people, as you said, they have no idea that now
• 28:39
  is connected to that, right? People don't know that.
• 28:42
  So I think that gaining awareness and educating
• 28:44
  yourself, a lot of times that in itself will create those aha
• 28:46
  moments. I know for me, that's how my
• 28:49
  whole journey started. I read a book and I was like, Oh
• 28:51
  my goodness, like this makes sense.
• 28:53
  I read Untethered Soul by Michael Singer and it literally
• 28:56
  sparked something in me realm like I have trauma and I had no
• 28:59
  idea that that's what I thought I was.
• 29:01
  This is just the cards. I was out.
• 29:03
  This is just who I am. I'm doomed.
• 29:04
  This is just what it is, right? So I think that informing
• 29:07
  yourself, being informed is very important.
• 29:10
  And then also you could do some type of exercise where you write
• 29:14
  down what are 5 patterns that you have that are getting in
• 29:19
  your way. Is it perfectionism?
• 29:20
  Is it procrastination? Do you get defensive?
• 29:23
  Get that stuff down on paper and then get curious about those
• 29:27
  patterns. Start to explore like where did
• 29:29
  this come from? Where did I learn perfectionism?
• 29:32
  From where did I learn manipulation, right?
• 29:35
  How is it serving me? Oh, when I manipulate I feel in
• 29:39
  control. Interesting, right?
• 29:41
  Be curious about that. Oh, when I strive for
• 29:44
  perfectionism and I come across as the A player in all areas of
• 29:48
  my life, people are high fiving me and suddenly I feel worthy.
• 29:51
  Oh that's interesting too. So your worth is attached to
• 29:55
  outside validation, right? Like start to peel the onion
• 29:59
  that makes up who you are and be very curious about what makes up
• 30:05
  who you are. Does that make sense?
• 30:07
  Well, I think that that question, yeah, 100%.
• 30:09
  And I think that that question of like how is it serving you
• 30:11
  was an interesting one. It was posed to me because we
• 30:14
  were talking about problematic or like non supportive
• 30:17
  behaviors. And I remember when we were in
• 30:19
  like a circle of entrepreneurs, we were talking about trauma
• 30:22
  with someone who was a trauma coach.
• 30:23
  And they were talking about, well, how is this serving you?
• 30:26
  And I remember the circle originally being like, well,
• 30:27
  it's not serving me, it's a bad behavior.
• 30:29
  And they had started to unpack the fact that you will not
• 30:33
  continue any behavior or belief system or pattern to your point,
• 30:37
  unless at a deeper level in some way, shape or form, it is
• 30:40
  currently serving you. So I'm curious if you could
• 30:43
  unpack that because I know many people think, well, if I'm, you
• 30:47
  know, say addicted to something in a certain area or I'm
• 30:50
  behaving in a certain way, I'm being defensive or I'm, you
• 30:53
  know, wanting to go for perfect. Like, of course, it's not
• 30:56
  serving me, it's hindering me in these different ways.
• 30:59
  But I'm curious how you might guide someone to see, or maybe
• 31:03
  you could give examples of the ways that even something that is
• 31:07
  technically on the outside considering hindering us
• 31:10
  actually always has this underlying level of supporting
• 31:14
  you or serving you in some way, otherwise you wouldn't be
• 31:17
  maintaining it. Yes, I love that you're asking
• 31:20
  this because it's so, so powerful.
• 31:22
  Just as you said, most people are like, of course this isn't
• 31:25
  serving me, but it's like, but you wouldn't do it if it wasn't
• 31:27
  serving you, right? So I'm actually going to speak
• 31:29
  about myself here because I think that it's most of us have
• 31:32
  been here if we're honest with each other.
• 31:35
  For me, I am recovering from a perfectionist pattern.
• 31:38
  I once had really bad OCD and it manifested as severe
• 31:42
  perfectionism that really crippled me in most areas of my
• 31:45
  life because I was over performing, over functioning to
• 31:48
  degrees that exhausted me. And I just thought, this is who
• 31:51
  I am, right? And it wasn't until an amazing
• 31:54
  mentor and therapist I realized that every time I show up and I
• 31:58
  give 150% and people are acknowledging how good I am and
• 32:03
  I'm getting high fived and I'm getting fist pumped and people
• 32:05
  are talking about man Stephanie crushes it every single time.
• 32:08
  I realized that that made me feel really good.
• 32:12
  I felt really good. And then I had to get curious
• 32:14
  about that. Why do I feel really good?
• 32:16
  Oh, because I actually believe I'm not good enough.
• 32:19
  I actually had a very deep rooted subconscious belief that
• 32:22
  I'm not good enough, I'm inadequate, I'm unworthy.
• 32:26
  And so every time I performed and I would crush it and people
• 32:29
  would acknowledge how good I was at something, suddenly it made
• 32:33
  me feel what? Good enough?
• 32:34
  Adequate and worthy. So that pattern made sense.
• 32:39
  Even though I could tell you this is exhausting me.
• 32:41
  My comp is beyond empty. My stress is through the roof.
• 32:46
  I feel so dysregulated. I look in the mirror, I don't
• 32:48
  like what I see. I'm not comfortable in my own
• 32:51
  skin. But what would happen?
• 32:53
  I'd wake up, I'd get to that plate.
• 32:55
  I'd swing, I'd hit out of the park just because I was being
• 32:58
  validated. And so that behavior, although I
• 33:01
  knew it was exhausting me, it was also serving me.
• 33:03
  Why did it serve me? Well?
• 33:05
  It served me because I was gaining the validation that I
• 33:07
  was unable to give myself, right?
• 33:11
  That's just one example, but it's no different than people
• 33:14
  who, let's say you're the person who you're easily triggered and
• 33:17
  you don't accept feedback well and you get defensive.
• 33:20
  You have to ask yourself, what's causing you to get defensive?
• 33:24
  Is there some deep rooted belief or do you have a fear of
• 33:28
  rejection? Like there's something deeper in
• 33:31
  there, but we have to be willing to dive deep, like really deep
• 33:35
  to find it because our life experiences block us.
• 33:39
  We get so guarded. Most of us are so pegged because
• 33:42
  we don't want to experience pain or suffering in any way, right?
• 33:47
  But we have learned certain responses and every single
• 33:51
  response and every single behavior makes sense.
• 33:53
  But we have to understand the origin in which we learned it
• 33:57
  and how it's protecting us in some way, because all behaviors
• 34:00
  that can be perceived as unhealthy, they're protecting
• 34:04
  us. They're keeping us feeling safe
• 34:05
  in some way. Well, you mentioned the aspect
• 34:08
  there of of trigger and I'm curious with a trigger that
• 34:13
  comes up. So again, someone being
• 34:14
  defensive or someone, you know, for example, struggling with
• 34:17
  perfectionism or maybe being overanalyzing or constantly
• 34:20
  future planning and trying to control control.
• 34:23
  In your opinion, do you think there's ever an aspect of that
• 34:26
  that is just a why, you know, for example, really care about
• 34:29
  this project that I'm working on and it's not connected to
• 34:31
  anything deeper? Or in your opinion, do you think
• 34:34
  a lot of what our triggers are kind of become our map for
• 34:37
  ourselves in the sense of that really is like the insight into
• 34:40
  deeper things that are always going on?
• 34:42
  Is there always a deeper level in your opinion?
• 34:44
  And it can't kind of just be chalked up to, hey, I'm just, I
• 34:48
  really care about this project. No, I, I do think that there
• 34:51
  could be moments where it's like, no, I'm just very
• 34:53
  passionate about this project and I'm working hard because I
• 34:56
  just want to smash it because it means so much to me.
• 34:59
  I think that that's possible. I do, I think that we have to
• 35:04
  get to a very honest level with ourselves to know what's the
• 35:07
  motive behind what we're doing. Like, are you really working
• 35:11
  that hard? Because it truly is a passion
• 35:13
  project and it means so much to you and the meaning is like
• 35:16
  authentic and genuine. If so, that's incredible.
• 35:19
  It's incredible. But are you doing something
• 35:21
  because you're going to gain some validation or it's you're
• 35:24
  avoiding something like what's the why behind what you're
• 35:27
  doing? I think that's very important to
• 35:28
  ask. OK.
• 35:31
  That makes sense to me because I'm thinking, you know, even for
• 35:34
  people in business to make this contextual for everybody, I
• 35:37
  think there's a lot of things that we, even when someone says
• 35:40
  to me, you know, I want to make a certain amount of money in
• 35:41
  business, first question I ask is why?
• 35:43
  And that's often because the the underlying aspect of it when we
• 35:46
  dove in with one client was the fact that it had everything to
• 35:49
  do with her family money Story about how, you know, you were
• 35:52
  considered successful only when you made certain amounts of
• 35:56
  money. And if you didn't achieve that,
• 35:58
  you weren't considered worthy until you had done it.
• 36:00
  So she didn't actually care about this number.
• 36:03
  It was only because if you achieved this then you were
• 36:07
  considered and her family to be quote UN quote like acceptable
• 36:09
  or worthy. Wow.
• 36:11
  Interesting. Yeah.
• 36:12
  So that's something deeper, right?
• 36:13
  Yeah. I'm taking a second out of
• 36:15
  today's episode to tell you what something really exciting and it
• 36:18
  is happening right now. If you are someone who is
• 36:21
  interested in getting scaling support with your business, if
• 36:24
  you know that you've been able to get some consistency, you've
• 36:26
  been able to get some sales happening in your business, but
• 36:29
  you also know that you have on top potential.
• 36:31
  You know that you are the person who's been taking notes on the
• 36:34
  different frameworks on this podcast that you're listening to
• 36:36
  each episode, tuning into the different strategies you need.
• 36:39
  That is an incredible thing to be doing, but it also is very
• 36:43
  different to consume information versus to integrate that
• 36:46
  information. And that is exactly what we do
• 36:48
  with these types of frameworks that we teach here and we help
• 36:50
  you to integrate those in a custom way in your business.
• 36:53
  Right now, our ITI Accelerator Mastermind doors are open.
• 36:57
  We have a promotion that is happening for a limited time.
• 36:59
  And I want to make sure that you as the person diving into all of
• 37:03
  the strategy are not someone to miss this.
• 37:05
  If you are a business right now that is ready to scale, if you
• 37:08
  want to potentially 2345 extra business in the next 6 to 12
• 37:12
  months, this is your invitation to do so.
• 37:15
  ITI Accelerator is a six month mastermind specifically designed
• 37:18
  to help you to do that. It is a combination of all the
• 37:20
  things that I love about coaching.
• 37:21
  We've got the modules and the course materials to help you
• 37:24
  learn the principles of what you need to know to scale and my
• 37:26
  strategies. We also have the one-on-one
• 37:28
  coaching, which helps you customize that and integrate it.
• 37:31
  We've got the group aspects. You can build a network of women
• 37:33
  just like yourself. And we have things like a Slack
• 37:36
  channel that you can contact in between when things come up
• 37:38
  day-to-day, as they do. If you are somebody who's ready
• 37:41
  to really step into that next level of growth that you know
• 37:44
  you have within you and that you know is possible for you in the
• 37:47
  next 6 months, let this be your reminder.
• 37:49
  Let this be your invitation to take a.
• 37:51
  Step toward that potential that you know you have.
• 37:54
  So without further ado, let's get back into today's episode.
• 37:57
  And so I'm, I'm curious because obviously, you know, we talked
• 38:00
  very briefly about mental health and obviously the rise of how
• 38:03
  much this is impacting everybody.
• 38:06
  And I'm curious, how does, for example, an emotional response
• 38:11
  versus a mental health condition?
• 38:12
  What are the kind of two, how do they differ?
• 38:15
  Because I'm thinking in moments where someone, to your point,
• 38:19
  might just have a moment where they really care about
• 38:22
  something, you're having a heavy, intense emotional
• 38:24
  response. Is that different than having,
• 38:27
  for example, like you're having an anxious moment versus you
• 38:29
  have anxiety or you're having a sad episode versus you have
• 38:33
  depression? I think in my opinion, I'll
• 38:35
  speak for myself. I think at least in my circle or
• 38:39
  the people that I surround myself with, an entrepreneur
• 38:41
  space or just in general in life, there's kind of this like
• 38:45
  constant label culture. I feel like it's happening or a
• 38:48
  diagnosed culture, if you will, of people who really quickly
• 38:52
  want to say like, this is the condition that you have.
• 38:55
  And I think, you know, as someone who's navigating myself
• 38:58
  a lot of depression and anxiety, sometimes that label can feel
• 39:02
  freeing because you finally have an answer to the reason you've
• 39:05
  been feeling the way you have. But I think there's also the
• 39:07
  other side, which can sometimes be, is this depression or you
• 39:11
  just experiencing feelings, right?
• 39:13
  And so I'm curious, how do you decipher all of that noise that
• 39:17
  obviously there is a lot of today?
• 39:20
  Yes, well, one, to just normalize that we're humans and
• 39:23
  we're meant to feel a wide range of emotions.
• 39:26
  That's one of the many things that make us a human, right.
• 39:29
  And just to speak to your point, I, I, I love that you brought
• 39:31
  this up because today everybody labels themselves.
• 39:34
  I'm depressed, I have anxiety, I have bipolar.
• 39:37
  And people don't even really understand what the actual
• 39:39
  condition means or what it really looks like.
• 39:41
  But I just think that we hear these words again, they're
• 39:43
  almost like buzzwords. And it's like, oh, I'm gonna
• 39:45
  latch on to that. But it is completely natural and
• 39:49
  normal to feel sad. It's completely natural and
• 39:52
  normal to experience anxiety, stress and fear.
• 39:54
  It's completely natural and normal to experience up and down
• 39:57
  in mood. We're not meant to be the same
• 40:00
  exact mood 24/7. What I have found in my own life
• 40:03
  is that sometimes you're going to be up here and then you come
• 40:05
  back here, and sometimes you're even down here, but then you
• 40:07
  come back here. We all have that baseline and I
• 40:10
  think that. For me, I don't believe in
• 40:13
  disorders. I don't believe in any mental
• 40:15
  health disorder. I think that what the world
• 40:16
  would tell us is a disorder is a learned response.
• 40:19
  And so if somebody truly has, let's say they've been diagnosed
• 40:22
  with major depression disorder, that's what the world would call
• 40:25
  it. To me, that's major depression
• 40:27
  response. Again, there's some unresolved
• 40:30
  stuff that is manifested as depression.
• 40:33
  That is different than feeling sad because something went wrong
• 40:37
  today, right? Or you didn't get that
• 40:39
  opportunity. That doesn't mean you're
• 40:40
  depressed. That's sadness.
• 40:41
  And that sadness makes sense. Or maybe even you, you lost a
• 40:45
  job or you lost a big amount of finances or maybe even lost a
• 40:49
  loved one. Like that doesn't mean you're
• 40:50
  depressed. You might be experiencing what
• 40:53
  feels like depression as a result of grief, but you're not
• 40:55
  even on the long term depression, right?
• 40:59
  Are there some people who struggle with depression for a
• 41:02
  large amount of their life? Yes.
• 41:04
  And I think that that comes down to unresolved trauma.
• 41:07
  Again, lifestyle. What are you eating?
• 41:09
  What are you not eating? Are you hydrating every single
• 41:12
  day? Like there's so many different
• 41:13
  things, but I don't believe that depression and anxiety and
• 41:16
  bipolar and even PTSD, I don't believe these things are
• 41:19
  disorders. I think that these are
• 41:21
  responses. So, so for you, just to clarify
• 41:24
  for someone listening to, I feel like that's really empowering
• 41:28
  when I hear that because I feel like a lot of the time when we
• 41:31
  hear a label of a disorder, we feel like we've been kind of
• 41:35
  given this certain badge we have to wear for the rest of our
• 41:37
  life. And we're like, well, I'm just
• 41:39
  somebody who's depressed and that's just going to be the way
• 41:41
  that I navigate life. Or I'm thinking even, for
• 41:45
  example, for PTSD, that it would just be something that you just
• 41:48
  assume is now that's ingrained part of you you just have to
• 41:50
  forever live with. And this is just who I am.
• 41:52
  It was sort of almost becomes an identity in a way for some
• 41:56
  people. And when you say response, where
• 42:00
  does that come from? Like how does kind of a response
• 42:02
  Because I, I'm assuming obviously most people are
• 42:04
  thinking, well, I wouldn't choose to be depressed, right?
• 42:06
  Like I wouldn't choose to respond this way.
• 42:08
  So how to kind of responses for you work or what's kind of the
• 42:13
  underbelly of how that gets developed that leads someone,
• 42:16
  for example, to have maybe again, depression being a
• 42:19
  symptom or a reflection of their response to something in their
• 42:23
  life? Sure.
• 42:24
  So like, I'll use this as an example.
• 42:26
  Nobody chooses to wake up and say hey, today's a good day to
• 42:29
  have type 2 diabetes, but they have made certain choices
• 42:33
  throughout their life and as a result, they developed the type
• 42:36
  2 diabetic response. And if they make a new set of
• 42:39
  choices, they can change the direction of their condition
• 42:43
  with a new set of choices. So the same is true for anxiety,
• 42:48
  depression, PTSD, all of them, in my opinion.
• 42:50
  No one wakes up and says, hey, today's a good day to be an
• 42:53
  alcoholic. Today's a good day to to have
• 42:55
  depression. Today's a good day to struggle
• 42:57
  with bipolar. But things have happened in
• 42:59
  their life events. They've continued to make
• 43:03
  certain choices. They continue to eat a certain
• 43:05
  way. They remain an unhealthy
• 43:08
  environmental relationships. So all these things compact and
• 43:12
  as a result, it, it develops that response, it manifests as
• 43:15
  what we would say, oh, that looks like a depressed person.
• 43:18
  They're unkept, they're disheveled, they have low
• 43:20
  motivation, their appetite is low, it's hard to get out of
• 43:23
  bed. They're isolated.
• 43:26
  We cluster that as depression. But really the question for me
• 43:29
  is what has happened in your life or what hasn't happened
• 43:33
  that has caused you to be where you are today, No different than
• 43:36
  a person with type 2 diabetes. What choices have you made or
• 43:40
  have you not made that led you here?
• 43:42
  And what are you willing to do to create a new version?
• 43:47
  Right. What are you willing to do to
• 43:48
  create a new version? Because for me, if we continue
• 43:51
  to come from the perspective of disorders, that does not feel
• 43:55
  good. It feels very disempowering.
• 43:57
  It feels like I'm used for life and there's something wrong with
• 44:00
  me. But I know if we come from the
• 44:02
  perspective of a response, it's kind of like, oh, wait a minute,
• 44:05
  I actually have a say in my life.
• 44:07
  I actually have space to reclaim power over my condition.
• 44:11
  I can do something about the way I feel, the way I think, the way
• 44:14
  I show up, right? That feels very powerful.
• 44:17
  For sure. And I think I think as you said
• 44:19
  that the instant thing that came to mind is, I think for you,
• 44:21
  based off what I'm hearing, you look at mental health disorders
• 44:25
  or mental health labels as less of a, a series of symptoms and
• 44:29
  more of an understanding of their story.
• 44:31
  Like basically, when I start to go back into history of all the
• 44:35
  things that have happened to you, we start to understand why
• 44:38
  you're currently presenting the way that you are.
• 44:40
  It's a by product of your story, less of just if you have these
• 44:44
  symptoms, you are this identity. You truly believe that the kind
• 44:48
  of identity or disorder or label that someone may have at this
• 44:52
  moment is really just a compilation of all of these
• 44:55
  things. So if you're able to, then I'm
• 44:56
  assuming dive into those. You can also rewire how the
• 45:00
  symptoms are presenting. That's exactly right.
• 45:03
  We can heal, we can change, we can transform.
• 45:06
  I believe that strongly for every single person.
• 45:08
  We all have the ability to heal and transform.
• 45:11
  In fact, I think that there's this deep innate capacity within
• 45:14
  every single one of us. But somehow we lost.
• 45:17
  We lost touch with that and we don't know how to get back home
• 45:19
  to it. And this is where we need
• 45:21
  mentors, we need guys, we need therapists, we need coaches, we
• 45:24
  need treatment facilities, right?
• 45:26
  Like we need providers, we need help because it just is a road
• 45:29
  map back home to self to rediscover and reconnect who you
• 45:32
  were all along to who you were all along.
• 45:36
  It's just that we get lost. We've all been lost.
• 45:38
  Some of us are still feeling lost.
• 45:40
  And I think that it's so important to normalize it.
• 45:42
  It's OK to not be OK. It's OK to feel lost.
• 45:44
  But it's also your responsibility to find your way.
• 45:48
  And you have what it takes to find your way.
• 45:50
  Well, I'm thinking for someone listening to this, as you said,
• 45:54
  it's, it's very motivating, it's very empowering.
• 45:56
  And I think that I just because I know how much noise is out
• 46:00
  there and how many competing opinions there are, I'm thinking
• 46:03
  of the person who's maybe felt they've had anxiety their whole
• 46:06
  life. All I've ever known has been
• 46:07
  anxiety or all I've ever known has been depression.
• 46:10
  And there's a couple different people of different
• 46:12
  perspectives, right? Some people say, well, you know,
• 46:14
  like there's just this inherent how you are and your being.
• 46:17
  And that's just something you kind of have to live with, IE
• 46:19
  people don't change. And obviously in your work,
• 46:23
  you're in the work of helping people change.
• 46:25
  So I'm curious in, in, in all of the exposure you have to people
• 46:29
  with, you know, addiction and depression and, and PTSD and all
• 46:32
  different types of mental health presentations.
• 46:37
  What does change look like in your world?
• 46:39
  Like have you seen people who've gone their entire life?
• 46:42
  For example, I'm thinking and I'm picturing on medication for
• 46:46
  anxiety, on medication for depression, who've just kind of,
• 46:49
  again, this has been what they've always known.
• 46:52
  And in this work and in kind of diving into what you're talking
• 46:55
  about, be able to kind of rewrite that and move forward
• 46:59
  without those things. Yes, and it's the best part of
• 47:02
  what I do every single day. It's it's literally my why to
• 47:05
  see those aha moments and see people change.
• 47:08
  It's it's literally what keeps me going.
• 47:11
  I think that when a person has only known something, you only
• 47:14
  know what you know and it's not until you know different that
• 47:16
  you can do different, right? So for the person who might be
• 47:20
  feel like exactly, we said, well, I've had anxiety since I'm
• 47:22
  10 years old. Like, what do you mean I'm not
• 47:24
  doomed by this? I think that it's one just
• 47:27
  opening your mind to the possibility that it could be
• 47:30
  different. Open your mind to the
• 47:32
  possibility that it could be different.
• 47:33
  Just start to wonder, is it possible that maybe I'm not
• 47:37
  doomed by anxiety? Do I even really have anxiety?
• 47:40
  Or have I been told I have anxiety?
• 47:43
  Or I heard my mom her whole life say she had anxiety.
• 47:46
  So I just adopted that narrative for myself and I've been
• 47:49
  carrying it all these years, right?
• 47:51
  I think that you have to open yourself up to start to think
• 47:53
  beyond what you've always known and be curious of a new way of
• 47:58
  being. That in itself, at least from
• 47:59
  the work that I do every day, that's what gets people to have
• 48:02
  that interest of like, maybe I am going to listen to what he or
• 48:05
  she has to say. Maybe I will read that book.
• 48:08
  Maybe I will apply this coping skill.
• 48:10
  I will try this new thing. I'm just going to trust.
• 48:13
  And what I have found is that if a person can remain open and
• 48:17
  trust the process of their journey, somehow it unfolds.
• 48:21
  And next thing you know, you're like, Oh my goodness, I actually
• 48:24
  don't feel anxious today, right? And then again, I don't feel as
• 48:28
  anxious or maybe I feel a little bit.
• 48:29
  And that creates this new momentum.
• 48:31
  And then people get very curious about this new momentum.
• 48:34
  And that's what gives the motivation to continue on the
• 48:37
  path that they're on. And next thing you know, they're
• 48:39
  90 days into treatment and they're like, who am I?
• 48:41
  I look different, I think different, I feel different.
• 48:44
  Everything becomes different. And it's not because there was
• 48:47
  some magic that happened. It's that the person allowed
• 48:50
  themselves to stay open and trust the process of their
• 48:52
  journey. This is bringing me back to what
• 48:55
  you said earlier with the idea of almost like the self
• 48:58
  fulfilling prophecy in a way, because I'm almost wondering,
• 49:02
  you know, I'm thinking of the woman who's maybe had anxiety or
• 49:04
  depression her whole life and kind of back to that where we
• 49:07
  were using of identity. It becomes so deeply ingrained
• 49:09
  as part of who you are. Or to your point, which I so I
• 49:12
  can instantly think of situations or people when you
• 49:14
  mentioned family, like I've been told that I'm anxious or I've
• 49:17
  been told that I'm quote UN quote sick with whatever that
• 49:22
  area is or that label might be. And I would imagine for the
• 49:25
  clients that you work with and for anyone listening to this,
• 49:28
  it's kind of terrifying to think about that being a choice.
• 49:32
  Like I'm thinking when you think about, you know, I've had, you
• 49:35
  know, depression my whole life. And so Stephanie's telling me
• 49:39
  that I could get curious to choose a different identity, but
• 49:42
  that's the identity I've lived with.
• 49:44
  That's what other people know me to be, which is depressed and
• 49:47
  anxious. I only know myself as depressed
• 49:49
  and anxious. And so I would imagine for
• 49:52
  people you work with and in the work that you do, there must be
• 49:55
  some pretty, I would think, serious resistance to.
• 49:59
  I've always known myself to be this way and I've always lived
• 50:02
  this way. And thinking about adopting
• 50:04
  another identity where that label is not your definition I
• 50:08
  would imagine would be really scary for most people.
• 50:11
  Absolutely. I think that most people
• 50:13
  actually go through a grief process.
• 50:14
  You grieve who you once knew yourself to be.
• 50:17
  And it really, it really is grief because it's so familiar.
• 50:21
  And I think that's what happens to most of us is that we like to
• 50:24
  be in the familiar because if we can be in the familiar, that
• 50:27
  means we find comfort. We can predict what's gonna
• 50:29
  happen next. And if we can predict what's
• 50:31
  gonna happen next, we usually feel safe and secure, which we
• 50:34
  all want to feel. So again, it brings us back to
• 50:36
  safety. And I think that This is why
• 50:38
  people have a hard time shedding old versions of themselves
• 50:41
  because it's like, well, if I can continue to be anxious and
• 50:43
  depressed, I usually know what's gonna happen next in my life.
• 50:46
  But if I step into the unknown, I'm completely out of control.
• 50:50
  And that's really scary and that's really overwhelming.
• 50:52
  And I'm here to confirm that yes, it is scary and it is
• 50:54
  overwhelming, but isn't it also scary and overwhelming to waste
• 50:58
  more time holding on to a version of you that so badly
• 51:02
  wants to change? Like you have to pick your heart
• 51:05
  in life. Both roads are hard.
• 51:07
  The heart of staying the same and being sick and suffering and
• 51:10
  living in stress and depression and anxiety.
• 51:12
  That's a hard Rd. I know because I've been there
• 51:15
  and the road to healing and self discovery and recovery is also
• 51:18
  hard. And I know because that's the
• 51:19
  road I'm on today, right? But this road it also so
• 51:23
  rewarding. And so I think that it comes
• 51:25
  down to that like you have to just decide which hard do you
• 51:28
  want to face every day. Well, I feel like so many, so
• 51:31
  many people listening to this, even myself included.
• 51:34
  Enter your point of comfort and safety.
• 51:35
  We know the hard that is living with the identity or living with
• 51:39
  depression or living with anxiety, for example.
• 51:42
  If someone is I would imagine is listening to this and they're
• 51:45
  feeling very empowered. I even myself, I'm like, OK,
• 51:47
  this is amazing how inspiring it is to be able to take back the
• 51:50
  reins of your life, of your mental health, of your
• 51:52
  experience going through every single day.
• 51:55
  But they're also scared a little bit of what does this mean?
• 51:59
  Like if I'm inspired by Stephanie and I'm motivated and
• 52:01
  I'm activated, what does this mean if I decide I'm going to do
• 52:04
  something about it? What does that journey, if you
• 52:08
  know, to your mention of of recovery or going through
• 52:10
  treatment or going through therapy, what does that process
• 52:13
  look like? If someone kind of wants to
• 52:15
  preview what they're saying yes to, they know they want that in
• 52:19
  destination. They know that they don't want
• 52:21
  the identity anymore. They know that, you know,
• 52:23
  depression or anxiety or whatever label insert, you know,
• 52:27
  label for yourself has been controlling your life, but they
• 52:31
  also again, have only ever known this.
• 52:33
  What does that path to getting to that place look like
• 52:36
  typically? It's going to look different for
• 52:39
  every single person. I believe strongly that we have
• 52:41
  to start where we are and we start small.
• 52:43
  Start where you are and start small because it can be scary
• 52:46
  and overwhelming. And we don't just heal and
• 52:48
  change overnight, right? You don't go 15 years of
• 52:51
  identifying as an anxious person and suddenly you're a calm
• 52:54
  person. Like it's not really how it
• 52:57
  works. If you figure that out,
• 52:58
  definitely let let us. Know like let us know.
• 53:00
  Call me. DM me, e-mail me, hit me up
• 53:02
  something because I'm still trying to figure that out
• 53:04
  because that's not how it works. I think that it's about
• 53:08
  realizing that you only have the moment you're in, you only have
• 53:12
  the moment you're in and making small choices every single
• 53:15
  moment to the best of your ability, right?
• 53:18
  So for example, if let's say you feel anxious or you're stressed
• 53:24
  about something, rather than continue to feed the thoughts
• 53:27
  and say, yes, I'm stressed and anxious, can you choose to go on
• 53:29
  a 5 minute walk instead? Can you pick up a phone and call
• 53:33
  somebody who you know is really good for your nervous system?
• 53:35
  Can you stand outside and soak up the sunshine for 5 minutes?
• 53:39
  Like what are those small micro moments along the way that you
• 53:42
  can do? Because those those moments are
• 53:44
  the moments that lead to the big outcomes.
• 53:46
  Yes, in some cases people are really struggling and they need
• 53:48
  therapy and they need treatment. And that's what we're doing at
• 53:50
  Agape. Like there's space for that type
• 53:53
  of work too. But I also think that sometimes
• 53:55
  it's just having awareness and choosing something that's good
• 53:58
  for you in the moment. And it could be very small,
• 54:02
  small things. It's the, it's the compound of
• 54:06
  the reaction point to your earlier point, right?
• 54:08
  The fact that we live in this place of reaction and basically
• 54:12
  having to your point with the phone even earlier, having the
• 54:14
  awareness of the small things to your point of picking up the
• 54:17
  phone or going for a walk. I remember I was chatting with
• 54:20
  somebody who was struggling a lot with really, really intense
• 54:24
  depressive episode. And it was interesting because
• 54:27
  their therapist had said, listen, when you feel like
• 54:31
  you're overwhelmed with emotion, all I want you to do is go for a
• 54:33
  walk. And it seems so simple.
• 54:36
  And the person thought like, OK, like this is not going to be the
• 54:38
  groundbreaking advice that gets me out of this feeling.
• 54:42
  But they had started to introduce the idea of a pattern
• 54:45
  interrupt, basically like getting your body and shifting
• 54:48
  your state to be able to tune in in that moment, whether it was
• 54:52
  jumping jacks, putting your face in a in a bowl of ice, whether
• 54:56
  it was going for a walk, whatever.
• 54:57
  Again, that obviously the spectrum of intensity varies,
• 55:01
  but doing something to kind of choose the state.
• 55:05
  And I'm curious for someone who maybe is kind of wanting to have
• 55:09
  some of those moments to tune in, is it that simple?
• 55:12
  Is it really truly about just picking a different behavior in
• 55:14
  the moment and allowing those to compound as a starting?
• 55:17
  Point it really is so many clients that I've had the honor
• 55:22
  and privilege of working with, they're like, I want that white
• 55:25
  light aha moment. I don't know that you're going
• 55:28
  to have that, you know, like it's not like this light that
• 55:31
  beams down on us and it's like, this is your chance to heal.
• 55:34
  Like it's really not that It's those small steps.
• 55:38
  It's choosing something that's better for you as often as
• 55:41
  possible. I often say, find the
• 55:43
  ingredients that make the perfect recipe that supports
• 55:46
  your mind, body and spirit and repeat it daily.
• 55:49
  Don't go trying to add new ingredients.
• 55:51
  If your grandmother gave you the recipe to her famous meatballs,
• 55:55
  like you're not gonna sit there and add new spices.
• 55:57
  You're like grandma said, this is it.
• 55:59
  It tastes delicious. I'm just going to make this for
• 56:00
  the rest of my life, right? But I believe that healing can
• 56:04
  be simple. Recovery can be simple.
• 56:06
  Changing your life can be simple.
• 56:08
  It's it's actually not that hard.
• 56:10
  Yes. Can it feel hard at times?
• 56:11
  Of course. But it really is the simple
• 56:14
  things that you can do every single day.
• 56:16
  Find what works for you and stick to it.
• 56:18
  Got it. OK.
• 56:20
  And as something I was curious about when it comes to, because
• 56:23
  I feel like A, to your point of all the new ingredients, we're
• 56:27
  told everyday that there's a new way of finding inner healing,
• 56:31
  right? We're always encouraged to like
• 56:33
  in this constant personal development journey of
• 56:35
  understanding ourselves. And there's so many different
• 56:38
  ways in which people do that. And so I know, you know,
• 56:41
  obviously a lot of people talk about cognitive behavioral
• 56:44
  therapy, people talk about CBT, they talk about inner child
• 56:48
  work, they talk about shadow work, right?
• 56:50
  There's a lot of these ingredients that are presented
• 56:54
  to people who are looking for healing.
• 56:56
  And even for myself, to be honest, I'm on TikTok just the
• 56:59
  same as the next person, or I'm on Instagram as much as the next
• 57:01
  person. And you feel like there's just
• 57:04
  all these modalities that you could be using.
• 57:07
  And it can feel really overwhelming to know, like if
• 57:10
  I'm searching to heal myself or to develop myself this year,
• 57:14
  where do I start? So I love that you started with
• 57:17
  the actions that you can control today, in the next hour, in the
• 57:20
  next week in your world. And I love that.
• 57:23
  And you also said that sometimes it does require that deeper
• 57:26
  work. And so I'm curious if you dive
• 57:29
  into that deeper work with people, what might be something
• 57:32
  that they could investigate or research or consider if they're
• 57:35
  thinking like, I really feel like there's something deeper
• 57:38
  here and they've maybe tried or have started already with some
• 57:41
  of those more smaller habits. Yeah, I think that if you're
• 57:44
  that person who you've tried with the smaller habits and you
• 57:47
  still find yourself feeling empty, you still feel like
• 57:49
  you're depressed, you still are self sabotaging.
• 57:52
  Maybe it's even more serious. You're drinking, you're using
• 57:54
  drugs, you're self harming, you're struggling with an eating
• 57:57
  response, right. Like if you're struggling to
• 58:00
  such a degree where there's real suffering happening every single
• 58:02
  day, I think that that's your body saying, hey, it's time to
• 58:05
  seek help and you, you deserve that help.
• 58:08
  And the reality is sometimes we need help and it's OK to need
• 58:11
  help. We're not meant to overcome
• 58:12
  trauma on our own. You don't have to go through it
• 58:14
  alone. So I think that you, you know
• 58:17
  yourself best. You have to be honest with
• 58:19
  yourself. Like, is this as simple as, hey,
• 58:21
  I need to go on a walk versus be on social media today?
• 58:24
  Or is it like my eating has changed, I'm losing weight, I'm
• 58:27
  gaining weight, I find myself in unhealthy relationships, I'm
• 58:31
  participating in high risk behaviors.
• 58:33
  That's a different story. And then I would recommend if,
• 58:36
  if you're that person struggling, reach out for help,
• 58:38
  whether it's a therapist or a treatment facility.
• 58:39
  But take action sooner than later.
• 58:43
  And I always say take action like your life depends on it
• 58:45
  because when you don't take action, time just continues to
• 58:48
  pass by. And if we don't address the
• 58:51
  things that we need to address, they will manifest as bigger
• 58:53
  problems. I'm curious because it's come up
• 58:57
  in connection to that when it comes to healing ourselves and
• 59:01
  for some healing trauma, can we do this work alone?
• 59:05
  Like I think about the idea of trying to identify your own
• 59:08
  limiting belief or identify your own trigger.
• 59:12
  Obviously, you know, for me, I know even in the business space,
• 59:14
  there's, there's a value in having an outside perspective or
• 59:17
  outside set of eyes to say, I see this a little bit of a
• 59:20
  different way. And I'm curious in your
• 59:23
  experience in most healing, is it almost necessary at some
• 59:27
  point to get an outside perspective because you can't
• 59:30
  see it the same way? Or do you think it's possible
• 59:33
  that people can really heal their own trauma without
• 59:37
  necessarily having another person there to reframe?
• 59:40
  I I, I think it can be both, and I also think it depends on what
• 59:45
  the person's struggling with personally and professionally.
• 59:48
  I often recommend help. I think that there's so much
• 59:52
  value in an outside perspective because like you said, when
• 59:56
  you're in it, you can't always solve it.
• 59:57
  It doesn't mean you can't solve it, right?
• 1:00:00
  I think if you really want to, you'll figure it out.
• 1:00:03
  But I do believe that there's so much to be said about support.
• 1:00:06
  We are hardwired for connection. We are not meant to go through
• 1:00:09
  life alone, especially when we're trying to overcome from
• 1:00:13
  trauma. And that's why people people are
• 1:00:15
  trained and certified in skill to support you.
• 1:00:18
  Right. You know, it's no different if
• 1:00:19
  you wanted to get really good at a new language, like, sure, you
• 1:00:23
  can maybe go online and read a book or whatever, but like,
• 1:00:25
  wouldn't it be cool to have a teacher?
• 1:00:27
  Yeah, you know, like, wouldn't that be nice?
• 1:00:31
  Well, I'm thinking about being in the jar and trying to analyze
• 1:00:35
  the jar at the same time. Like it's a very difficult
• 1:00:38
  experience. Again, not to say that to your
• 1:00:40
  point, maybe it's not impossible to do, but I'm just trying to
• 1:00:44
  think of all the situations. Like I, I remember one of the
• 1:00:47
  things that had come up as a response for me was like lack of
• 1:00:50
  boundaries and the fact that I was kind of self sacrificial in
• 1:00:52
  many ways in a way to deal with other deeper things that were
• 1:00:57
  happening. And in going through it,
• 1:00:59
  starting to kind of tie the connection to not realizing like
• 1:01:03
  I only I needed somebody outside of myself to be able to show me,
• 1:01:07
  hey, that thing that you think you're doing to help other
• 1:01:09
  people is actually not helping other people.
• 1:01:12
  That's actually you having no boundaries and self sacrificing
• 1:01:15
  in an effort to get approval. And I'm like, oh, and at the
• 1:01:18
  time I had thought it and seen it so totally differently.
• 1:01:21
  And so I'm curious because I think so many people think,
• 1:01:24
  well, I'm going to, I'm going to deal with it, I'm going to
• 1:01:25
  handle it. I'm going to, you know, figure
• 1:01:27
  this out on my own. And I was just curious about
• 1:01:29
  that because I think that there's such an, an asset to
• 1:01:32
  having a second set of eyes to see things that you don't see.
• 1:01:35
  Because again, trying to analyze the dryer while you're in it is
• 1:01:38
  extremely difficult typically to do.
• 1:01:41
  It is extremely difficult to do. And I will say that from my
• 1:01:44
  experience, even personally, not only with clients, there was a
• 1:01:48
  time in my life that I was so resistant to help.
• 1:01:51
  And I didn't realize until later my resistance to help meant if I
• 1:01:54
  got help, that meant I had to change.
• 1:01:56
  I would have to be accountable. And I wasn't ready to step up to
• 1:01:59
  the plate in that way. And so I think sometimes when we
• 1:02:01
  resist outside help, again, that might indicate something deeper
• 1:02:05
  that you're comfortable being who you are and you don't want
• 1:02:08
  to have to face yourself and take accountability.
• 1:02:10
  Maybe it feels easier just to keep blaming.
• 1:02:12
  You're almost hiding behind, not taking help.
• 1:02:14
  And so it's going to be different for each person.
• 1:02:17
  Our walk looks different. But I do believe that we are all
• 1:02:20
  worthy and deserving of healing and recovering change.
• 1:02:22
  And sometimes we need help to get there.
• 1:02:24
  Absolutely, absolutely. OK, So Stephanie, you have an
• 1:02:28
  amazing book and I'm thinking today's conversation has Nuggets
• 1:02:32
  that are all baked into that. And so I'm curious, can you
• 1:02:35
  share a little bit of someone's wanting to dive more into this?
• 1:02:39
  Obviously, you know, they can go to your website, your socials,
• 1:02:42
  and we'll have all those linked to the show notes for you guys.
• 1:02:44
  But for your book, can you just give us a quick synopsis of if
• 1:02:47
  someone wants to kind of dive into a lot more of what you're
• 1:02:51
  saying and get a better, deeper understanding what they might
• 1:02:53
  find in that? Absolutely.
• 1:02:55
  So unpack your bags. This is my most recent book.
• 1:02:57
  It's yourself help guide to inner peace.
• 1:03:00
  It's 11 chapters specifically written to help the reader
• 1:03:02
  identify what is the emotional weight you're carrying from your
• 1:03:06
  past. How is it interrupting the
• 1:03:08
  present moment, right? How is it blocking you from
• 1:03:10
  becoming your best self? And how is it weighing you down?
• 1:03:13
  And in the book, Ioffer 11 very, very easy practical skills that
• 1:03:18
  the person can begin applying right away to create positive
• 1:03:20
  change in their life. It's I've taken all of my years
• 1:03:23
  of experience condensed and I really believe that it has the
• 1:03:26
  potential to change your life. Amazing, amazing.
• 1:03:29
  Thank you. Yeah.
• 1:03:30
  Because I think if someone's listening to this, the wheels
• 1:03:32
  are turning. And the thing that I believe in
• 1:03:34
  anything, whether it's business, personal development, it can be
• 1:03:36
  mental health and anything is like if you have the activator,
• 1:03:39
  if you have this awareness as you're listening to this and
• 1:03:41
  you're thinking like this is what I need, I need to do this
• 1:03:44
  work. I need to stop ignoring the
• 1:03:45
  signs, stop ignoring the symptoms and you want to dive
• 1:03:47
  in. I wanted to mention that as a
• 1:03:49
  resource for everybody because that would help you to start to
• 1:03:53
  get the wheels turning on taking some of this.
• 1:03:55
  You know, whether you had the big to her point earlier, the
• 1:03:58
  aha moment today, or if you had a little nugget that landed, it
• 1:04:01
  can be the insight to say, hey, you know what?
• 1:04:03
  I'm taking this as my sign to dive deeper into it.
• 1:04:06
  And so I just wanted to mention that for anybody who wants to go
• 1:04:08
  deeper, Stephanie, we haven't kind of a ritual unambitious,
• 1:04:12
  which is really a 1 nugget for the audience, meaning it can be
• 1:04:15
  in context to today's topic. So it can be about mental health
• 1:04:18
  specifically, but obviously you are a powerful, ambitious
• 1:04:22
  female. And so we're really looking to
• 1:04:25
  just share with the audience a nugget of wisdom that you've had
• 1:04:27
  along the journey. So as you've been in this for
• 1:04:29
  years and you've been doing this work, if for the person who's
• 1:04:33
  listening, who's going for a lot of big things.
• 1:04:35
  And I would hazard to guess has pressed play on today's episode
• 1:04:37
  because she's probably kind of to the similar story you
• 1:04:41
  mentioned earlier, which I so resonate with, of like the go,
• 1:04:43
  go, go and kind of like constantly being in the doing
• 1:04:47
  and wanting to learn how to start to integrate the things
• 1:04:49
  you've shared today. Is there something that you've
• 1:04:52
  learned or a story of something that's happened or a quote that
• 1:04:55
  you've heard that you would want to share with her that maybe
• 1:04:58
  could provide some additional insight or aha for her?
• 1:05:01
  Yes, I think the biggest thing for me that I've learned in my
• 1:05:04
  journey of healing and self discovery is that within me
• 1:05:06
  there is light and that light can always guide me to the
• 1:05:09
  darkest of times. And so for me, I've learned that
• 1:05:12
  I have to look within self deeper, deeper and deeper and
• 1:05:16
  trust the inner wisdom and the light that is me and let it
• 1:05:18
  guide me. We have our answers within
• 1:05:20
  ourselves. I love it.
• 1:05:23
  So empowering. It's so empowering, it's so
• 1:05:25
  good. All right, 70.
• 1:05:28
  I know it flew by, it flew by. We'll definitely, we'll need to
• 1:05:32
  come back for a Part 2 at some point because there's so much
• 1:05:34
  more. I literally, no word of a lie,
• 1:05:35
  you guys, I had like 3 pages of note.
• 1:05:37
  I was like, I want to dive into inner child.
• 1:05:39
  I want to go into all these other areas.
• 1:05:40
  We'll need, we'll need a Part 2. We'll need a separate 1.
• 1:05:42
  Stephanie, thank you so much for coming on.
• 1:05:44
  This was so good. And I, I genuinely feel was like
• 1:05:47
  a master class in mental health. It was in every aspect of
• 1:05:50
  understanding so many layers. It was so good.
• 1:05:53
  So thank you so much for coming on.
• 1:05:55
  Thank you for having me. It's an honor to connect with
• 1:05:57
  you. I look forward to doing it
• 1:05:58
  again. Yeah, for sure.
• 1:06:00
  All right, to you guys. We will see you on the next
• 1:06:02
  episode. And as always, make sure that if
• 1:06:05
  you have any thoughts or maybe aha moments, as I said, are
• 1:06:09
  Nuggets that landed for you. Reach out to Stephanie, send her
• 1:06:11
  a DM, shoot a DM to me. Obviously, you guys know that we
• 1:06:14
  always talk about the fact that there's such massive power in
• 1:06:17
  being witnessed in transformation, meaning that if
• 1:06:19
  you're having an AHA moment, being able to share it with
• 1:06:22
  someone helps it to land even deeper.
• 1:06:23
  So really encourage you to shoot her a message.
• 1:06:25
  Shoot me a message. And with all that being said,
• 1:06:27
  guys, we'll see you on next week's episode.
• 1:06:29
  So, as always, stay ambitious.