Latest / The Life-First Solopreneur / 45. How Solopreneurs Can Overcome Limiting Beliefs For Greater Success with Sarah Boxx
Transcript
- Sarah Boxx (00:00): You know, freeing up time. Part of it's that you've heard that thing you hold on too tight, you can't hold anything in your hand, right? Your hand just gets locked. So I've tried to think about being thoughtful about my time, putting one major thing that I'm gonna get done. And ironically, you get more done, it takes that pressure off. You're not like hustle, hustle, hustle, which stresses you out. So they are linked in that way, but I've found time has expanded, the more I've slowed down. Intro (00:29): Bigger doesn't always mean better. Welcome to the One-Person Business podcast where people who are flying solo in business come for specific tips and advice to find success as a company of one. Here are your hosts, Joe Rando and Carly Ries. Carly Ries (00:48): Welcome to the One-Person Business podcast. I'm one of your hosts, Carly Ries. Joe Rando (00:53): And I'm Joe Rando, Carly Ries (00:54): We are so excited to have our guests, Sarah Boxx on the show today. Sarah is CEO and Chief Vision Sherpa at Sarah Boxx LLC, as well as a nonprofit corporate individual success strategist. She helps people who are overextended at work and home by showing them how to regain time, reduce stress, and lead strategically so they can live a life they love at work and at home. Sarah invests her heart and head in working with high achieving motivated professionals working in non-profits and entrepreneurial ventures like our audience. Her clients are inspirational, talented, skilled, and passionate. They're challenged by competing priorities, too little time and calendars full of meetings . Sound familiar? Her clients have a burning desire to make a difference in the world, but doing good isn't enough. They want to live into their true purpose and gift. So how does she help? With the right tool, the right question, and the right piece of guidance at just the right time and not before. In 2016, Sarah became a bestselling author with her book, The Changemaker Ripple Effect, and two years later launched the No Labels, No Limits podcast. It's awesome. Her trademark motto is No labels, no limits, no excuses. And I have to say, Sarah's accolades and accomplishments could fill this entire podcast. To see a list of them, be sure to check out our show notes. With that, Sarah, we are so excited to have you and welcome to the show. Sarah Boxx (02:12): Thanks Carly, and thanks Joe. I've been looking forward to our conversation today and I just feel privileged to be here. Carly Ries (02:20): Well, the feeling is very much mutual. We have so many questions, so let's just dive right in. The first one is, solopreneurs have a plethora of things that can be stressing them out at any given moment. What are a few strategies they can start using to reduce the stress and free up time today? Sarah Boxx (02:36): I'm gonna start by reducing stress by saying, let's separate those two questions. As solopreneurs and actually any leader, we tend to ask ourselves really big questions like, How can I do this and this and this? And that just piles on stress. So there are tons of different kinds of stress. Especially if you're running a business and it's in the early stages or even maybe later and you're shifting or having to pivot, there's the stress of your business, but then there's the stress of what's going on around you at home. There are all these competing pieces and they're noisy in our heads. They call your attention. You feel like you have to do something about them. There are a number of things that help with stress. (03:22): Some of them are really well known, like meditation, breathing, yoga, walking, being in nature. I think it's individual to the person. What resonates most with you. The other thing is I find that especially goal-oriented people, entrepreneurs, we want to see immediate results. So if I'm feeling stressed, I'm gonna meditate, I can give you 10 minutes, and then at the end of that 10 I need to feel better. If we think about stress as an indication of what's going on around us and less of something we have to fix and create a relationship with, listening to what's setting us off and then being quiet. For me personally, that's in nature. It doesn't have to be somewhere far. I don't have to drive hours. I can walk out and sit by a tree or just be outside but it's that quiet time where I can actually listen and slow my breathing and my heart rate down. (04:15): Now when we're thinking about more time, and I just told you, how do I create more time? And I just said, Well take time out to do this. It seems counterintuitive. Yet when we can manage our stress, which sets our biology in a different direction, our heart rate, our brain, our thinking, we actually do get more time. Now, it may not be more clock time, but it's more space time where we can think about, okay, what is important? What's important right now? And then learn how to prioritize around that. I really think that being able to calm down, take an assessment of where you are, and then decide next steps, does help create more time and it lowers your stress. I have a good relationship with stress because like everybody else, I've been in the pandemic for a couple of years, but I've also become a lead caretaker for someone who is recovering from a stroke. It's always, we don't know what's going on, right? I had no idea a level of stress until I had to start managing it. So thanks. I think that question is relevant, not just for solopreneurs, but for everybody. Carly Ries (05:27): Oh, absolutely. And I think even just the conscious side of things. I mean, even taking my dog for a walk this morning, my innate instinct is to put a podcast on or to listen to music or something. I live in the mountains, like why can't I just enjoy it? So I made a conscious decision to not bring any sort of audio device or anything and just enjoy it. I feel like that's really hard for people to do these days. Joe Rando (05:47): Carly, I want to jump in because that is something I have noticed with the younger generation. Always, there's something going on. My wife and I jog around a lake, it's about five miles and we see these people have earbuds in and it's just so gorgeous and they're missing it all. So yeah, thanks for saying that. Sarah Boxx (06:09): Well, Joe, let me say from an introvert's perspective, I will wear earbuds even if I'm not doing anything with them, because it's swap interruptions. It's like your running and Hey Sarah, and I'm thinking, I'm really just having a meditative walk here. So I just point at my ear and they go, Okay, see you later. So don't assume they're listening. But it is hard and I think sometimes we do that to calm ourselves. Just having something all the time and it doesn't always do that for us. Joe Rando (06:39): I think not having earbuds is why we run, right? So we can get away from anybody that's trying to interrupt us. Sarah Boxx (06:46): . Yeah, I'd leave you alone if you were running. I couldn't keep up. Carly, I have a question though. When you're walking with your dog and no distractions, do you talk to your dog? Carly Ries (06:54): Occasionally. I mean, I have. I'm that dog person that'll look down and say "Hi honey, how are you doing?" just in general, but not a clear example that comes to mind, just a general "good girl" and all of that. Joe Rando (07:08): I do, Sarah Boxx (07:09): Do you? Good job, Joe. I do. Sometimes if I'm confused about things, I'll just watch my dog and go, "So what do you think about that?" And then I'm going, "He could care less." He says, There are good smells out here, there are things we should be paying attention to and by the way, there's a squirrel, right? I'm thinking, okay, there are other things in the world besides my stressors. Carly Ries (07:28): That is a great point. Yeah, I think when I talk to her, it's funny cuz I have a three year old as well and I'll say things like, What do you say to the dog? And it's like, the dog's not gonna say please and thank you, but it just comes out of my mouth. So when people give her compliments on walks, I'll say, What do you say? And then I sound like I've lost my mind or something. Sarah Boxx (07:45): That's right. Carly Ries (07:46): Sarah, I didn't want to cut you off. Did you have anything else you wanted to say about freeing up time? If not, I have another question kind of as a follow up to the stress Sarah Boxx (07:54): This kinda weaves into everything. Time is something, especially later if we talk about the angiogram and all time is actually a trigger point for me, for my personality and things, so I hoard time. When it comes to freeing up time, that has been a real growth path for me to go, you know what, block the time, Give it away if you want, but don't stress about it. Part of it's that, you've heard that thing, "you hold on too tight, you can't hold anything in your hand". Your hand just gets locked. So I've tried to think about being thoughtful about my time. Putting one major thing that I'm gonna get done. And ironically you get more done, but it takes that pressure off. And you're not like hustle, hustle, hustle, which stresses you out. So they are linked in that way, but I've found time has expanded the more I've slowed down. Carly Ries (08:49): yes. I love that. You should turn that into a bumper sticker. Sarah Boxx (08:54): . Joe Rando (08:55): Okay, so a question on that though. You're saying that by virtue of not overscheduling yourself, you find you're more productive. Is that what I'm hearing here? Sarah Boxx (09:05): Much more productive. For instance, I had promised somebody, they asked "Can you give us this proposal thing?" And I'm thinking, are you kidding me? I'm in the middle of these big deliverables, plus I've ot these client things going on. And then I thought, what if you just said, sure, you'll have it by such time. Then I just picked a day. I said, until this is done that's all you have to do. Your success for today is getting this outlined and drafted. All you have to do is proof it and send it tomorrow. Oh my gosh, it came together so quick because I didn't have a bunch of stuff stacked on top of it where I'd say, Okay, now I've got this meeting, I can't do that. It just opened it up. I also was a lot more creative and I could remember the conversation I had with the person to say, okay, what really would serve them?, instead of just doing a boiler plate kind of thing. So yeah, I've created more time and I just feel more relaxed. Consequently, I'm nicer at home. Joe Rando (10:07): It makes total sense. We overschedule and then you're worried about that. The fact that you're doing something and you're supposed to be doing something else now because your time block ran out. I'm a big fan of not trying to over-allocate time too because I always fail. It always takes me longer than I think it's gonna take me and I don't want to do it wrong. And then it's just builds stress. Sarah Boxx (10:31): That's one of the tenants in project planning. If you study project planning, that's one of the things they say. If once you write a project plan, these are anticipated steps and timelines, go ahead and add at least 50% buffer in there because we underestimate how long it takes us to do things or in addition to, we underestimate, especially if we're going to depend on other people, things that come up that might delay them. So once you just get, I think I can do it in 10 hours. I'm giving myself 15 just because, and bonus if it only takes you six. Right? What do you care that you just got back all this time? Carly Ries (11:13): That is a great point. Joe Rando (11:14): I find that when I work with people, I get to know their multiplying factor. Some people it's 1.2 and some people it's three x, right? It's just depending on who it is, how optimistic they are versus reality. Carly Ries (11:26): . I would love to know my number offline. Joe Rando (11:31): Goodness. You're pretty good, Carly. Carly Ries (11:35): Okay, that sounds good. . Sarah, one of the things though that solopreneurs face is since everything is on them, they kind of develop imposter syndrome and they think, can I do this? And they end up filling their schedules because they feel like they need to be hustling. Do you have any advice on how solopreneurs can overcome imposter syndrome? Sarah Boxx (11:56): I think we have to make friends with it, number one. In my personal experience feeling that way, the thing that has helped me get through it, I don't think I've ever overcome it, is to look at when does it pop up? It usually pops up when I'm stretching into something that I don't feel like I'm "the best at" or where I've been watching other people and I'm comparing myself versus saying, look, having confidence in what I do know and can deliver is one thing, but that's partly why I say no labels. Because we're labeling ourselves, I'm not as good as Joe at this or I'm not as good as you in this because I can look at all your success and how you are doing "your business", And it can stop me in my tracks. (12:42): Then I load more stuff in so I can be like you. If we are able to step back from comparing ourselves and be more truthful, really what are our gifts and talents? Why did we even go into business? If we didn't believe in ourself at some level we wouldn't have started our business. So part of it is being able to go, "what's true in this moment? Am I the best?" Absolutely not. Am I good? Absolutely. Do I have something to offer? Absolutely. Once you step forward you find that's true about me. Now I might not have done the best, but I stepped up and if I didn't do it "perfectly", another imposter syndrome bellwether, I can do it better next time. And I really think that if we are not lying to people, so I'm not saying I can be a singer because I guarantee you I'm not your singer unless you want a comedian singer, (13:36): then I'm not being an imposter. If you want singing at whatever event we're gonna do, we're gonna talk about who you're bringing in. If you see what I mean. It's like, I'm not misrepresenting myself, but I'm also not underestimating myself. So that's one piece with it. The other piece is, if you can't hear the messages you're telling yourself, another reason to slow down and slow the stress. Because part of it's just this internal dialogue of lies. To be able to ask yourself, is this true? Am I the fastest person at a project? Absolutely not. Is it true that that's terrible? No, it saved money and it's helped clients. So I can look for evidence that counters the lie that I'm telling myself and tell myself the truth about it. Part of it is to recognize that it's lies. That's why it's not the truth about being an imposter, it just is the truth that you're not where you want to be yet. One way to get over it or get through it is to get help. Ask for support in areas you're just not that great at. The one thing that I find doesn't help is to just pile more and more on yourself, to expect yourself to be further than you are. Joe Rando (14:54): I have a question on that. On imposter syndrome, this is something that I think I've observed and I'm curious of your opinion on it, but I've noticed that the only people that don't seem to suffer from some level of self-doubt, if you will, are people that aren't really very smart. The smarter person is, the more they know what they don't know. I always wondered if imposter syndrome was somewhat correlated with intelligence. Sarah Boxx (15:22): Well, that's an interesting question. I love questions. So the ability to feel like you're an imposter is correlated with intelligence level. Joe Rando (15:32): Well, what I'm saying is I've noticed that there are people that will come in and act like they know everything. They never do. They're not actually very bright or they're at least not very reflective. And some of the smartest people I know are full of all the information. They don't have all the knowledge, they know what they don't know. And when you're in that position, it can sometimes feel like, "I don't know all this stuff", but it's because nobody does. So it's really a function of the fact that you're very astute and understanding where you are and realizing that there are so many things you don't know, starts to make you feel like an imposter. Then you get some people that are basically not so insightful to themselves that think, "Oh, I got this." and they really don't. Again, I'm getting off here a little bit. Sarah Boxx (16:24): No, I think that's interesting, Joe. Part of what I hear, how it filters through my brain, is that piece of my lack of self-awareness and lack of humility prevents me from actually discerning what I don't know. I can come in and tell you I know all this stuff and I don't know it, and then I can come off. It's that slight difference between do I have data and information or do I have wisdom and knowledge? Joe Rando (16:51): Oh, the DIKW hierarchy or stairway or whatever you want to call it. Sarah Boxx (16:56): Cool. Okay. Joe Rando (16:59): It's a interesting topic that my wife and I just happened to have over dinner the other night. But I guess the point I'm saying is you're talking about embracing things. A lot of people, I suffer from imposter syndrome and have done a bunch of startups over the years and had that day where I said, "What the hell am I doing?" But I started to just embrace it the way you're suggesting because I said, "I know what I don't know." It's actually a good thing that I have this feeling because I'm not diluting myself. Sarah Boxx (17:29): It also takes pressure off one. I learned this decades ago. I would love to tell you I have a black belt in some sort of martial art. I don't. But what I did study Aikido and a little bit of jiu-jitsu, which I remember thinking, "Oh, that one's a little more forceful". But in both of them, the one thing that really stuck from all the training was to always come with a beginner's mind. Which means you have to have some humility. I don't know what's happening here. I can learn. So that's kind of made, when you're talking about like, we're starting this project, I don't know where it's going. And it can feel scary. I kind of like that. It's like, let's see what we discover together. Once you've done that enough times, unless you're dealing with life and death situations, you know nobody is going to die from you not making the right decisions. (18:22): You're just going to get information and learn. And if you're in a culture that you've created around you with friends or colleagues where learning and applying that learning is more important than doing it perfect. Then it can grow and oftentimes you can discover things about yourself or your business that you wouldn't have known. I just had a call this morning with a group of women who we are all independent, but the whole purpose was getting on and talking about, okay, what's going on? What are we learning? How can we support one another? Partly because we are not in a shared work environment, we're all solopreneurs. So it's really that ability to just be honest and learn and then get feedback from other people. There are lots of ways to do it as a solopreneur. Carly Ries (19:11): And now a quick word from our sponsor (19:13): Sponsor (19:13): You may be going solo in business, but that doesn't mean you're alone. In fact, millions of people are in your shoes running a one-person business and figuring it out as they go. So why not connect with them and learn from each other's successes and failures at LifeStarr? We're creating a One-Person Business community where you can go to meet and get advice from other solopreneurs. Be sure to join in on the conversations at community.lifestarr.com. (19:34): It sounds like everything we've talked about so far and in your career, you talk a lot about mindset and shifting your mindset. What are a few things solopreneurs can do to shift their mindsets for greater success and fewer setbacks? Sarah Boxx (19:55): Okay, let me get out my little soapBoxx here. No, I'm just teasing. I'm not gonna do that but one of the things that is most helpful is paying attention to the language that we use. For me, people say, "Well, we failed or we missed that." If we are really clear at the beginning about first of all how we define success, what is success for Sarah versus Carly or Joe, like personal leadership or business success, what does it look like, taste like, feel like? What's my daily experience of that? If I'm very clear on why and what I'm trying to see as an end goal, then my setbacks are just information points. That there's no way to get over or around an obstacle except to get there. You have to proceed forward. (20:47): So the setbacks for me, and I've had many, are on the other side of them, you're able to say, "Well, if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have grown this skill or this ability or this connection with somebody, I wouldn't be where I am now." So I actually think of setbacks as an opportunity to pause and reflect and go, "Okay, what might this mean? What might this setback in and of itself make possible that had I not had that, wouldn't be possible?" And when we start looking for the opportunity and what we think has gone "wrong", we start to see a lot more benefits and chances to do things differently better. Some of the setbacks feel devastating, but when you get some time, passed or even during them and you can say, what else might this mean versus I didn't hit my numbers or whatever. (21:41): What might it make possible? It begins to change your framework. It doesn't make it more comfortable. This is not a panacea. But when I say what might this make possible? So Carly, for instance, before we went live, we were talking about the picture you have of where I live. I didn't take that picture. I had that done by a professional photographer. I want to tell you how uncomfortable I am getting my picture taken. I don't like it, it makes me uncomfortable. It puts me in the center of things. I thought, Sarah, you've got to get over your bad self. So I thought what's the worst that can happen? I thought, well, you're just gonna do it. So I called this person, they don't advertise. I picked them out of a magazine where they are fairly local and said, I want to do this. (22:28): She said, great. You know what? That stretching myself made possible for me, not the just the photographs, which have been fun because other people like 'em, even if I don't stare at the, but I created a relationship with this gal and her kids. They're amazing people. But that one encounter of me stretching and being uncomfortable for a business purpose created relationships. Then later she sent me something and said, "Could you make a proposal to the University for me?" I'm thinking that was out of the blue. So the point is, which kind of can be circular, when we really think about how we use our words and frame things set back versus set up. What is this setting me up for? When I get a no, I always personally just say, Oh, that's a not yet. It's like they just don't know yet. I started that with my parents when I was really young. They'd say, No, we can't do that. And I'm thinking, not yet. I'm thinking we'll do that. Joe Rando (23:34): Parents turn this off. Don't let your kids hear it. Sarah Boxx (23:38): Well, it's good because it helped me find my way forward. They didn't say never. If they said that's never gonna happen. I still probably would've thought, bet you it will. But they never said that. They just said we can't, they can't provide that. We were a big family. If we do that for you, it's just gonna have this whole ripple thing. I said, Okay, the resistance is you can't do it for everybody, correct? I said, not a problem. I figured out how to do it for myself and then went back and said, here's my proposal. If I could do this, would you do that? Anyway, language matters. So not yet versus no, Carly Ries (24:21): Great feedback. So just thinking about the no's, we've been talking about setbacks, imposter syndrome, no might knock a few people down. I am one of the people that no knocks down. If people get in a rut from hearing these things from that imposter syndrome, how can they reignite their passions when they keep getting knocked down and unlock their purpose? Sarah Boxx (24:42): Can I pick on you a little bit? (24:45): Since no affects you, and I don't mean pick on you in a bad way, but when someone tells you no, what are the kinds of things they tell you no about, that knock you down? Carly Ries (24:56): So an example is, I was in sales for a minute and I had a really hard time with the rejection as an example. I guess even in life, if I get told no, instead of taking it professionally as a no, I take it personally as a no. Sarah Boxx (25:13): Okay, what you just said is so powerful. We take it personal. Sometimes it is personal, frankly, I'm not saying that everybody who tells us no is doing it because it's a true no. Sometimes they're just cranky and they just don't want to deal with us. I'm not trying to make this all simple, but when we take anything personal, that's when for me, and I can feel it in myself and I do that, I can feel my heart rate go up a little bit and my feelings start to get a little hurt. There's a new commercial out talking about feeling cranky and I'm going, I'm not cranky. But I catch those quickly and I'm thinking, okay, what's really going on here? Did I feel dismissed? What are the things that trigger me basically? (26:01): The more you know yourself, you know your own triggers. So I would feel dismissed or I would feel unimportant or unvalued depending on the person. Then I come from that place and that's when we put the value on ourself, on other people's approval of us or acceptance of us. I kind of look at life in that way in general. So if I'm being told no and I feel hurt, the things that might make it harder for me to step out again or I feel shamed, it's a question of what's true here? Who do I really look to for self affirmation? I have to know myself and then be able to go, okay, here's what's true about Carly. Here's what I know is true about Carly. She's talented, she's caring, she shows up when she says she will. (26:53): Maybe Carly just didn't connect with this person. It doesn't mean you're not good or valuable. Those are the things that we have to challenge. Sometimes when we're really clear and we're in the space, we can do it for ourselves. Sometimes we need to talk to somebody else. My husband looked at me last week and he says, You look worried. I said, I'm just ma. Mad and worried looks similar on me. And he goes, What's up? I said, I feel like I just didn't show up well enough for this caretaking thing. And he looked at me and he says, Okay, I don't know what's going on with you, but I don't know anybody who would've shown up more. You were so caring. I said, I felt grumpy inside. He goes, It didn't show on the outside. I needed an outside mirror to help me just to reframe what was going on. So that can be really helpful. But I do think looking for reigniting our passions means we have to know what they are in the beginning. Your passion can't be taken away by me unless you hand it to me. I know that may sound kind of weird, but you have to give me permission to take your passion. I can knock you down, but I can't make you stay down. Carly Ries (28:06): That's a great point. It's something that I think a lot of people need to keep in mind Sarah Boxx (28:11): And it's okay to pivot. You know, if you're going in business and it's not working for, it's okay to pivot. That doesn't mean you have lost your passion. That's a tactical or a strategic change. Again, it comes back to knowing yourself and what's your true value. Not your personal value, but in your work, what are you putting on your work? What does it represent for you? What motivates you and drives you to keep doing it. Carly Ries (28:36): Well, I'm glad you said that. I feel like we've been talking about the knockdown, getting knocked down and all of that. But let's go with the passions for a second. So let's say people are fully motivated and ready to do their thing. Are there any characteristics that some people have or that they can develop that will allow them to make greater impacts in their fields of choice? Sarah Boxx (28:57): Absolutely. Number one, I would say, always be curious. If you want more impact in something, you have to be curious about what does impact look like? And there are keywords. I work a lot in the non-profit community and impact is a word that is used consistently by funders. We want to invest for impact. Being clear about what does impact look like and how long do you think it's gonna take together. I just read a request for proposal for a project. It's only a two year project, but these are the small words you start listening for. So I'm doing this on behalf of someone and at the end it says, "then be able to demonstrate impact". I'm thinking this is a planning and curriculum development project. They're not going to have impact except for having some process stuff done. (29:51): That's an unrealistic expectation. I get it, funders do that because we want impact, we want value return, but it's not realistic. Impact is changing somebody's lives or having your business be successful, but that can take years and it can be a slow grow. Part of it is developing as far as a characteristic goes, that resilience factor, standing up when you feel like sitting down, being real about what's going on, asking for help when you need, but not backing down. Not quitting just because it feels overwhelming, but standing up, getting an outside perspective if you need to. It really does, for me, come down to humility and the courage to risk putting yourself out there and continually showing up Carly Ries (30:45): Such great advice. Sarah, I I actually have another question. I think you just provided such valuable information, I feel like it all ties together. This question I'm gonna ask, it might seem like left field, but I'm so curious about it. You are a certified Enneagram coach, what exactly is that and why is it important for solopreneurs to know their type? Sarah Boxx (31:06): Have you heard about the Enneagram, Carly or Joe? Carly Ries (31:09): Yes I have, but I haven't heard about it as it applies to solopreneurs Joe Rando (31:19): Yeah, I don't know what it is. Can you spell it too? Sarah Boxx (31:23): Yes. It's E N N E A G R A M. Let me just say, there are nine points. It can be described as a personality test. It really, to me, is much different than that. I've done testing of all kinds over my professional career and working with clients. The Enneagram comes at personality from a spiritual perspective. So it really looks at the larger dynamics in play. The premise is, there are nine basic types. We all fall into one of the nine. So let's just say that is my core type. For each of us, we have our primary core desires, our fears, our motivations, and then what our heart really longs for. And it's different for each of the nine. (32:23): Each of those types have different lenses on which they approach life. So, Carly and I and Joe, even if we had the same number, we would be influenced by our own experiences, our childhood experiences also, how we pull on the numbers connected to us. So it's this whole system which, you can get too in the weeds on describing it, but what it really does is it opens up this clarity about your self awareness and where your blind spots are. What's interesting to me as the blind spots are those things that really the people who see them are the people you live with that are your closest folks. They're not the people in your professional life. But we have those areas too where we get reactive. So it's been a really powerful tool. I was first asked actually by a client if I would use it with them in a retreat of strategic planning work we were doing. (33:21): I had done all different kinds of assessments and I thought, I do not know this tool. I had to do my homework, learn it, get my own type done. When I got my results back, I thought, oh my God, this is so clear. And yet it goes way deeper. It goes deeper into some of my defensive behaviors, like what, I told you earlier, time is a thing for me. But until I read and understood why it's that way, it just shifted how I thought about myself. It also changed how I connect with other people differently and with a little more compassion as well and more thinking, stepping back. So why it's important, I think for everybody, is it helps you understand why certain things trigger you and how you might handle them differently. (34:13): To appreciate, in this one team environment I was working with, it really was for them to understand how they are very different and yet without that difference, they lack the balance and the creativity, the empathy, the ability to do this amazing work and they're a small team that they're doing throughout this particular region. It was powerful. I decided after seeing that thinking, okay, this is different. This is different than giving people a static. This is your Myers Briggs, this is your disc number, this is your strengths finder, which I find all of those important and helpful, but it never told me the why behind it. What motivates for me? I'm an INFP. How did I end up there? I have never been out of there in all the years I've retaken it. (35:05): Why? So it really helps answer the why. If you know why you react in certain ways, what triggers you and you can see a path, what is a better way for you, only you, and being so that you're less stressed, you can be more true to who you are, what's in your heart? What's your passion? Then it helps you make better choices. That's why I love it. It's applicable, it's practical. I just used it with a gal I'm coaching professionally on a business shift for her. It told me so much about her orientation to her work and what is important to her. We just did her assessment. We didn't go into depth on the enneagram itself, but she understood it. I said, you need to understand that now we both understand, when it comes to those places where you're gonna want to wiggle out sideways and go, well I'll go this way. I'm gonna call you on it. Because I'll understand that's just your way of trying to feel safe when you've told me that your passion is here. So we'll talk about it. Anyway, I've seen the power of it. I've seen how it's connected teams and individuals to themselves and it's a great tool. Carly Ries (36:18): I think that is so fascinating. Sarah Boxx (36:19): Did I answer your question? Carly Ries (36:21): Yes, you did. I think it's so fascinating, especially for entrepreneurs who really would benefit understanding themselves better in order to better their business. It was a little left field from the other questions, but I was just so fascinated by it. I wanted to make sure that we spoke about it a little on this show and Sarah, I cannot believe this. We were actually down to our last question, which is mind blowing because I could talk to you forever. The question is, what is your favorite quote about success Sarah Boxx (36:48): It really depends on the day of the week. I will tell you there are a couple I really like, but I'll just share the one. This I think is helpful and it links to what we've already talked about today. This is from Albert Einstein and the quote is "To strive not to be a success but rather to be of value." So think about that when you talk about imposter syndrome. If I'm not having to be a success, but my job is to be of value, it lowers my stress. It's "can I be of value?" It changes a focus and I really like that because I think it lets people show up. Carly Ries (37:28): Absolutely. I love that too. Actually I hadn't heard that quote, so I want to thank you for that. I'm a big quote person, so that made my day. Sarah, we've so enjoyed having you on this show. Where can people find you if they want to learn more, Sarah Boxx (37:42): They can go over to our website, SarahBoxx.com and it's got access to our blog post. We talk about stress, we talk about imposter syndrome, we talk about planning and strategy, all of that. My podcast is there, access to the podcast is there. We are doing events. I'm actually helping other people who are out leading in the world help connect to leaders and solopreneurs and people, with that different holistic piece for workshops and things that they just want to come on and learn. We'll be doing something on dreams and one on body wisdom. Knowing what your body's telling you and how to be healthy. Those types of things come up as offers to people who are out grinding at work every day, but really need to think holistically about themselves. Carly Ries (38:32): Well if there's anything we can do to help promote those events, please let us know. They sound fascinating. Sarah Boxx (38:37): Cool. Will do. Joe Rando (38:39): Thank you so much, Sarah. This was really great. I enjoyed this and I learned a bunch, so thank you. Sarah Boxx (38:46): Let's go out and walk our dogs. What do you say? Carly Ries (38:49): Let's do it. . Joe Rando (38:49): The dog's like, Yeah, let's do it. Carly Ries (38:51): And listeners, you should do that too cuz that is all we have for today. To subscribe or consume other episodes, be sure to visit Lifestarr.com/podcast. Or you can find us anywhere you listen to your shows. We'll see you next time. Closing (39:07): You may be going solo in business, but that doesn't mean you're alone. In fact, millions of people are in your shoes running a One-Person Business and figuring it out as they go. So why not connect with them and learn from each other's successes and failures. At LifeStarr, we're creating a One-Person business community where you can go to meet and get advice from other solopreneurs. Be sure to join in on the conversations at community.lifestarr.com.