Latest / CALL ME MISTRESS / A SHIT EATER, AN AUNT FUCKER AND INCEST - GOOD GRACIOUS ALMIGHTY!

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A SHIT EATER, AN AUNT FUCKER AND INCEST - GOOD GRACIOUS ALMIGHTY! · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:08
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:11
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and today I've got with me,
0:14
Kylie. Yes.
0:17
You like it? Like what?
0:20
The accent is great. Do you like accents, Kylie?
0:26
Recently found out I have a thing about different languages
0:28
too. Oh.
0:29
Oh, la, la, yes. All right.
0:33
So fun times. Yes.
0:37
All right, we'll break out the little southern lot.
0:39
There's some. OK, let's not do that one.
0:43
I have limits, certain ones. Certain ones.
0:47
Oh, your mic's light is off, so pull out the thing and then pull
0:51
it back in. Yeah, that one.
0:54
There you go. Got it.
0:55
Got to get some juice to it. So juice.
0:59
OK. All right, So Kylie and I, we've
1:03
had a fun morning. Yeah.
1:05
You got to put your fingers in a manhole.
1:08
I did. You did.
1:11
Yeah. So what did you think of it?
1:13
Interesting. Different from women.
1:15
A little different than what I'm used to, but it was similar.
1:19
Phil. Yeah, so Kylie was here this
1:23
morning and she was on her way over and I gave her a call and I
1:26
said hey Kylie, I've got this hot fucking cross dresser who is
1:32
a long time friend client goes by the name of Whitney.
1:37
He is so fucking sexy. He doesn't even think he's sexy.
1:40
That's what makes him sexier. He's got this fucking plump
1:44
little round ass little frame, but he's got big fucking
1:48
muscles. I mean, he is, he's cute build.
1:52
He is, he's so fucking cute. Oh my God, cute build to me.
1:57
I always say those little men, I just want to sit on their face.
2:01
I just want to sit on their face and do dirty things to them all
2:05
the time. All the.
2:07
Time it destroys Mia. God, yeah, I had this one guy
2:13
and he messaged me last night and he's like, oh, Mistress Mia,
2:18
let me show you some pictures that I'm really thinking about
2:22
you and I doing together. And he sent me pictures of a
2:27
woman Cumming in dude's mouth, slaves mouth, another woman
2:31
sitting on his face it's way. Different you're like and he's
2:38
different. It was different.
2:40
It's very different because like with women, like with pussies,
2:43
you can like, the more you move your fingers in the different
2:47
ways that you move your fingers all help with pleasure and
2:49
stimulation because there's so many spots in there.
2:51
And the deeper you go, the more spots there are, the more you
2:54
can twist and turn and, you know, do the come here motion
2:57
and all that. And it intensifies pleasure.
2:59
A man, he was like that kind of, no, I don't feel good.
3:02
I was like, oh, so we're just doing the in and out.
3:04
OK, simple. In and out.
3:07
All right. All my lesbian moves had to be
3:09
put to the back of my line. No, no, no, no.
3:12
Yeah, that. Yes.
3:14
And also you go down rather than up.
3:16
That was different. Yes.
3:17
Because with women, you go up because their butts are up, Mens
3:20
are down. Now if he was on his back.
3:23
Then it would be up. Yeah, yeah.
3:25
Yeah, yeah. A lot of people, they, they just
3:27
don't think of the logistics of it.
3:29
But in actuality, you're just pressing down those prostate
3:32
and, you know, to do a little tutorial at the very beginning.
3:35
I said for the listeners, I said, hey, Kylie, let me show
3:39
you, you know, put the glove tan.
3:41
You can never have too much Lube.
3:43
And you're going to go down. You're going to feel that divot.
3:45
I'm doing the motion right now. Yeah.
3:47
Yeah, yeah, y'all can't see it, but she's she's doing a hand
3:50
motion. Tell me exactly how to do it.
3:54
And you're like, yeah, it's kind of like this G spot.
3:56
I said yeah, it's this fucking G, yeah.
3:58
Yeah, it is. It's very similar to AG Spot.
4:00
Now have we not put him in chastity?
4:03
I would have said we could have milked him like a little cow
4:07
because we could have just started fingering that little G
4:10
spot and started jerking on his Dick.
4:14
But I knew him. He wants to be locked in
4:16
chastity. He doesn't feel like a man when
4:18
he's in that position. Therefore it would not have
4:23
been, I don't think, as pleasurable for him, for him.
4:26
But I think next time we could put him on the medical table,
4:29
put his legs up in stirrups so he feels like a girl.
4:32
Yeah, fuck his little ass and then start jacking his little
4:36
Dick. At one point you put the
4:38
vibrator on it. Oh yeah.
4:39
I mean, I didn't get much from that, but I thought at the same
4:42
time, sometimes it's over stimulation.
4:44
Yeah. And I think with him, he was too
4:46
focused on the anal. Yeah, he was a little, yeah.
4:49
Yeah, he was iffy about it. For sure, yeah, He seemed a
4:52
little on edge about it. Yeah.
4:54
So I mean, overall it wasn't, I think it was a great experience.
4:58
Yeah, it was definitely good first time.
5:00
You know, he wrote us and he said I can't wait for the
5:04
ridicule on fat from what you tell your friends I wore and how
5:08
I wore your heads. You made me wear them home.
5:11
It's so fulfilling and yearned for next time I'm cooking dinner
5:16
and so much more for you. He's like, I was so glad to see
5:19
you and it made my day so happy to have met Miss Kylie.
5:24
Yeah. And he's like, here I come.
5:27
I was so nervous. I went back on his messages.
5:29
He's like, here I come. You know it's funny because he
5:34
has a manly man job. He's man to man, right?
5:38
It's it's always the ones with the really masculine jobs that
5:41
are the most feminists in in private.
5:43
Yeah, and it's so funny because he hates what he does, I'm sure
5:49
on some level. I'm sure.
5:51
Right, because ultimately, before he's talked about
5:55
transitioning, he's talked about all these things.
5:58
And that's when I always say to men who cross dress and how far
6:03
they want to take it. Yeah.
6:04
And you know, it's like he he has to, he has to be very
6:08
physically fit. He has to be this certain type
6:11
of person. But then ultimately he still
6:15
wants to be that Sissy slut, that little whore, right?
6:18
And that's the sad part And all of this is that there's people
6:22
out there. For example, my good friend
6:25
Bree, she was my submissive for the longest time.
6:28
And growing up, she dealt with a lot of unnecessary things that
6:34
happened her in her life. And ultimately, she started
6:37
getting that feeling when she was in high school, that first
6:40
moment when her high school, they switched roles to where the
6:44
basketball players dressed up as cheerleaders and vice versa.
6:49
And she said she never felt so incredible as to running out on
6:54
that court dressed as a cheerleader.
6:56
She said the thought was invigorating.
6:58
And when she looked at herself in the mirror, she's like, oh,
7:01
my God, that's the real me. It was like she was discovering
7:04
herself for that very first time.
7:06
Yeah. And some people would call it
7:10
gender dysphoria because she was at that point where she really
7:13
did not have any idea who she was, what she wanted in life at
7:18
all, right? But she pushed through.
7:20
She went into the military. She did all of these things.
7:24
And ultimately, she didn't start transitioning until she was in
7:28
her 40s. And nowadays, you know, we had
7:31
these young people and they're, they're teens.
7:34
When you're a teenager, you don't know what the fuck is
7:37
going on in your world. No.
7:39
On so many levels. Right.
7:40
Yeah. And so now we're dealing with,
7:44
you know, people that I see in our lifestyle that are in their
7:47
20s and 30s and everything else. And it's like they identify as a
7:51
pup, they identify as trans, they identify Ding, Ding, Ding,
7:55
Ding, Ding and all these things. So ultimately the cross trousers
7:59
have to decide whether or not they want to transition into
8:01
trans. And sometimes they just don't
8:03
get that buck an option. That's the unfortunate aspect of
8:06
it. You had a simple session this
8:10
morning and it was fun. I thought it was.
8:12
It was. A fun little learning
8:14
experience, small and simple, but it was a learning experience
8:16
because learned a couple things is different.
8:19
Yeah, yeah. That's what you said.
8:21
You try to stretch out his little asshole and we're like,
8:24
we finally like 3 dildos later, we tried the glass one.
8:27
We first tried one. It was just like a round bulb.
8:29
Yeah. And yeah, ultimately, he loved
8:32
your fingers. Yeah, he preferred that over
8:35
over the other stuff. And he was like, can you try 3?
8:37
And I was like, yeah, why not? Kylie's magic fingers.
8:42
Lesbian magic honey. Exactly, I love it.
8:46
Yes, just like squeeze them in there.
8:50
But it was interesting because I was watching you do it and you
8:53
were kind of like, okay, so I'm going to do it this way and I'm
8:57
going to do it this way. And that's when you're like,
9:00
yeah, just in and out. Yeah, okay, that's what's going
9:04
to work. Yeah, that's exactly how it was.
9:07
I was like, okay, this is what works, all right.
9:08
Yeah, you can do that, figuring out what works.
9:11
I mean, you had to do that with the new women too.
9:13
Every time I get, you know, every time I have a new partner
9:15
and a playprint, whatever, and we explore into the actual like
9:17
sex aspects. It's it's a learning curve of
9:19
what they like, what they don't like, where their spots are,
9:22
because every woman's different. I mean, they're all in the
9:23
general same spot, but they're, you know, from very from one
9:26
woman to another and what they like in their preference.
9:29
So it's a it's a it's a learning curve.
9:30
Then too, some people like simple in and out.
9:33
Some like the they come here their motion, you know?
9:36
Yeah, it's true, It's true. But I was telling you about OK,
9:40
now there's his prostate. And we asked him, we're like, so
9:44
when did you have your last orgasm?
9:46
And then I already knew. I said, you fucking came last
9:50
night after talking to me, didn't you?
9:51
And he's like, yes, Miss I I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
9:55
You're a whore. He.
9:56
Seemed very scared to answer that he was like.
10:02
Yeah, I don't. And bottom line, it's just like
10:08
I said, Whitney came to me years ago and I just called it out.
10:12
He told me that he loves cads, and it's funny because he sent
10:17
me some videos. One, he's actually slapping his
10:20
Dick with his CAD. And then he's got another video
10:23
of just him, like him dressed wearing kids and kind of like
10:26
doing a little spin. Cute, cute, cute.
10:29
I posted those and when I did the fucking KED shoe lovers came
10:34
out of the fucking woodwork. They were all just like, oh,
10:38
Mistress Mia, blah, blah, blah, blah.
10:40
I love it. I love it.
10:42
And they're like, do you wear kids too?
10:44
And I'm like, yeah, you know, because Whitney got me a pair of
10:47
kids eight years ago, nine years ago.
10:51
And of course I said to Whitney, I said, look, I've lost weight
10:56
and I've gone down a shoe size and you need to take these home.
11:00
You need to wear these. Think of me and know that I wore
11:04
these for you. And he is like, you know, it's
11:06
always great when you're wearing kids.
11:09
But the fact that I'm taking home Mistress Mia's kids, I
11:12
bought her that she wore, right. Yeah, Yeah.
11:15
He. Loved.
11:16
It it was great. It was great.
11:19
But but yeah, this is one of those times where I was telling
11:23
you that we're in the dungeon and there's no rules in there on
11:27
how far you go because of what he likes.
11:30
So the fact that he wants to be called fag or faggot, people
11:34
would find that offensive. And people can make it an
11:38
offensive word, but ultimately that's something that he enjoys.
11:43
Yeah. And he liked it.
11:44
He loves it. He, he loves the fact that I was
11:47
just like, yeah, you faggot. Little Sissy slut.
11:49
Yeah, some people are OK with that word, others aren't.
11:53
You know, I I know quite a few people, some who are really,
11:55
really OK with it and some who really weren't.
11:58
I'm one of those who I don't. I can't be called that because
12:01
it was used very negatively in my childhood.
12:04
But I know a lot of people who are like, yeah, call me that.
12:06
Absolutely. Like they'll call themselves
12:08
that, you know? Yeah.
12:09
And so it's different for it. I mean it varies from person to
12:11
person. It does.
12:13
It's so crazy how one word can be so taboo.
12:16
Yeah. You know and.
12:19
There's a lot of words like. That oh, a lot of words.
12:21
And you know, back in the day you could refer to a cigarette
12:25
as a fag. That was really common obviously
12:29
in the UK, in Europe and that kind of thing.
12:32
But now you can't say anything and it's like, look, there's
12:36
going to be so many things that people are offended by and you
12:40
just have to stop and quit being so fucking offended.
12:46
Like I'm going to say what you want, be offended if you don't
12:47
want. Exactly.
12:48
If you don't like it, don't fucking listen to it.
12:51
Yeah, they don't. You know, I had, I, I know in
12:54
one episode I had a person I'm assuming was transgender, and I
13:01
said the word tranny multiple times in this episode.
13:04
But here's the thing. I was speaking specifically
13:08
about certain people in my circle who are my very dearest
13:12
friends, right? And they don't give a fuck.
13:16
Right. Some people don't.
13:18
I had a friend that I was with, I mentioned him a little bit
13:22
earlier ago when we were downstairs.
13:25
I had a friend that I met in college who was had hair down to
13:30
her back. She was very like built
13:33
beautiful, beautiful woman. And and you know, she also
13:39
appealed to my type too. So that made her even prettier
13:41
to me. You know, as we got closer and
13:44
friends, she would always be like, yeah, I really don't like
13:46
my boobs. I would and she'll like she
13:48
would like hide them with big shirts and she would be like,
13:51
you know, I really wish, wish they were kind of gone and like
13:53
had a lot of different things. And by senior year she goes,
13:56
yeah, I'm actually trans. And he cut off his hair.
13:58
He started wearing binders and tape and things.
14:02
And I had to learn a lot of, like, different things with
14:06
trans people. And one of the things I learned
14:08
was that not all of them except tranny, because his father, much
14:11
like my father used fag negatively, his father used
14:13
tranny negatively. And so he couldn't handle that.
14:16
So when I would make fun of him, I would sometimes, like,
14:18
jokingly say tranny and it triggered him unintentionally.
14:22
So you have, you know, it's like different backgrounds.
14:24
It is. It really is.
14:26
You know, if there just weren't asshole people using words in a
14:30
negative connotation, the world would be a better place.
14:34
Yes, if we could just have all words used in a positive
14:36
connotation, we wouldn't have these problems.
14:38
It's so true. We wouldn't have these problems.
14:42
Yeah, I was telling you just a few moments ago.
14:44
I was like, yeah, you know, my terms of endearment are like
14:46
slut and whore. And you're like, yeah, I like
14:49
those. I.
14:49
Love those terms. Those terms.
14:52
Yeah, my favorite one is Brat. That's that's my favorite one.
14:55
People call me brat all the time.
14:56
That's my favorite one, right? OK, brat out.
14:59
And just just to get the compliment, like you're going to
15:03
call me brat one way or the other.
15:06
That's funny shit. I will, but yeah.
15:08
So, funny thing, I was going to tell you, I I've knew at some
15:13
point I was going to have to sit down and record a few things
15:16
that have transpired over the past two weeks with me, but I've
15:19
been so busy with so many things.
15:22
So I was like, fuck it, I'm going to tell the story to you.
15:25
Perfect to you, Kylie. Perfect.
15:27
The honor, guys. Glory.
15:29
I've made it. I've made it.
15:35
You're. Just crazy.
15:36
The first step was getting in the podcast room.
15:38
And now I'm here every Friday. I'm loving on her dogs.
15:42
I've made it. I've infiltrated.
15:47
Yeah. Don't you just love these dogs?
15:50
I do, I love them so much. I love my babies and you know
15:56
the fact that they're here with me every day.
15:59
We get to have the fucking time of our lives.
16:02
We get to hang out, chill, just kiss each other and love on each
16:07
other and eat fucking string cheese and steak.
16:11
It's great, It's great. And this is kind of our day.
16:14
And now I get to join in on Fridays and I love it.
16:16
See, I love it so much. Great, so great.
16:20
I have a Taco in my lap at the moment.
16:22
Barbie is so fucking funny. I love Barbie, I love her.
16:27
Anytime anyone gets to spend anytime with Barbie, value that
16:33
time. Appreciate it because she's such
16:35
a great person. She is selfless and kind and
16:40
thoughtful and has ADD brain that's just mile a minute.
16:46
You can't get in a word edgewise sometimes with her.
16:49
I'll have to say OK, Barbie, rain it in rain it in, you know,
16:56
but I love her and she she's such a great person.
16:58
Anyway, we were talking and she loves all my dogs.
17:04
She'll come over just like Evie and she'll clip my dog's nails
17:08
or she'll help me groom them a little bit because it's things
17:11
you don't want to do to your own dog.
17:12
I don't want to hurt them, but Barbie's an expert with nail
17:15
clippings, for example. Anyway, she come over and my
17:20
dogs are like, oh fuck, here she is.
17:22
You know she's going to fucking clip our nails.
17:24
But anyway, she took care of Taco and Taco is a fucking
17:27
champ. She is a rock star.
17:29
She's my little chug Chihuahua pug, a lover.
17:33
And Barbie's like, you know, we should tell everybody that they
17:36
need to come and pet your Taco before they do anything.
17:40
I was like, no, but I love Barbie anyway.
17:49
So I did the session before Christmas last year.
17:52
I did this. We talked about it on the
17:54
podcast. Liv and I both did.
17:57
There's this gentleman and he is an educated college boy, country
18:02
down home. He's not from here.
18:04
And he to me is a sexy fucking man because he reminds me of a
18:11
toss between my Sissy and my husband because he's, you know,
18:15
5A. He, it's got facial hair.
18:17
I'm not really keen on facial hair, but he's fucking adorable
18:21
and he's just like a little compact and he doesn't have,
18:24
well, we can say what he does and doesn't have bottom line,
18:27
Bottom line, I think I dig him, but he wanted to be in the live
18:31
a little bit because I think they're the commonality is
18:33
they're very close in age and I'm old enough to be his mother
18:38
and I've come to accept that. However, that does not stop me.
18:42
Men who are 18 and older, Mommy Mia, Mistress Mia, you call me
18:49
whatever you want. You're sexy and you're a Sissy
18:52
or sexy and you want to play in the dungeon with me.
18:54
You know I'm here for you. However, this gentleman, he
18:59
loves scat and he wanted someone to shit in his mouth and I'm
19:04
gung ho for anything shit who what, where OK.
19:10
But Liv, she was really at the thought.
19:13
She was kind of excited at the thought that she had worked with
19:17
me for the past, you know, two years and she had not seen this
19:21
yet. Because it's one of those things
19:23
that I typically do by myself. I don't need a second hand.
19:27
And but I was like, you know, Liv, you really don't have to be
19:31
out there. You really necessarily you don't
19:33
want to see this because this is a bowel movement.
19:37
Yeah, yeah. And she was like, I'm kind of
19:43
intrigued. What's her word?
19:45
She used intrigued. So that's a good adjective to
19:47
use. OK.
19:49
And, you know, it was cold and rainy and everything else.
19:52
And I was like, when this guy showed up, he, like I said, sexy
19:56
little fucker. He has listened to every one of
19:58
my shit episodes. I guarantee you he will listen
20:01
to this episode and I will say again, sexy little man Mistress
20:05
Mia will shit on you anytime. But here's the deal.
20:08
He contacted me on a Sunday and it's always fucking Sunday that
20:13
they want to be shit on Sunday or Monday, but nine times out of
20:17
10 is Sunday. So much that my friend Bree, she
20:22
wrote this song. It's hilarious.
20:24
I was telling someone about it the other day.
20:26
She came up with this song. She's like on a Sunday on a
20:29
Sunday. Something about how Mistress Mia
20:31
was outside shitting on someone on a Sunday.
20:36
I. Was like, wow, it was, it was
20:39
hilarious. But anyway, I digress.
20:44
So anyway, he contacted me Sunday morning.
20:45
He's like, hey, I know this is last minute.
20:47
I'm in downtown Pensacola. I I'm getting my vehicle.
20:51
I had Uber here, blah, blah, blah.
20:53
But I have to go back to XY and Z and he's like, can I come see
20:58
you today? I said yes, time.
21:00
What are we looking at? I've got a prep because this is
21:03
not instant for Mia. This is, hey, Mia's going to
21:06
have her coffee. She's going to do a few things
21:08
in the morning and ultimately we're going to have things
21:11
happen. And so he tells me, OK, yeah.
21:17
How about, you know, 9:00? I said OK because people contact
21:21
me at all hours of the fucking night.
21:24
Like I am a 24/7 convenience store.
21:30
You know I'm Mia's bag of tricks and I'm open up 24/7.
21:35
But it's OK, they consider me a kink dispenser.
21:39
It is what it is, right? So the little fuck, this little
21:43
good looking fuck, contacted me and said, yeah, 9 O clock.
21:47
OK, I said, all right, well, I'm going to do 3 or 4 scoops of
21:51
Miralax because I usually do 2 of my coffee and I'm going to
21:55
have my big fucking Monstro coffee Tumblr and I'm going to
22:01
put some honey in it and I'm going to have a little yogurt.
22:04
I'm doing everything for the necessary measures for things to
22:07
happen, right? So then it was 830.
22:12
And he's like, look, I'm not going to make it there by 9.
22:15
And I said, well, this is going to happen very soon.
22:18
And he tells me now this is the part, this is the part that I'm
22:22
kind of like, huh, OK, we took it to the next level.
22:26
Because at this point in the game, he says, I want to do it
22:31
different than before. I want to do a few things in the
22:34
dungeon. I knew he wanted to cuddle with
22:36
me at some point. Yeah, you're, you're wincing
22:40
your nose. But it's OK because I feel for
22:44
him that he has this fetish because it's almost like a
22:48
monkey on his back. He can't help it.
22:50
He wants it, he craves it. But it's like why does it exist?
22:54
I get it. You get it.
22:56
I get it. I mean.
22:57
We all struggle with this at some point in our life.
23:00
It's just like, oh God I fucking need it.
23:03
Like who can give it to me now? There is not any other Doms that
23:09
I know locally. And I know a lot of different
23:12
Doms. Some are in the lifestyle,
23:14
granted, but some do it professionally.
23:16
I known a woman in New Orleans that used to do it.
23:20
She's no longer there. A lot of these Doms, they'll
23:23
come into the lifestyle, they'll do it professionally for a
23:25
little while and then they're gone.
23:27
I've never met someone that has been like me and have done it
23:32
almost 35 years. And so the fact that he says I
23:37
want to come and see you, I'm running late.
23:39
I said OK, well I didn't ask for deposit, I've seen him before.
23:43
So I said OK, what time are we looking at?
23:46
He says no later than 10. I said OK, 10 is never my number
23:50
for people, never is. Something always fails me and it
23:56
happened where I'm ready and I told him I'm ready where the
24:02
fuck are you? And he's like Mr. Smee I'm sorry
24:05
I have to cancel. So at that point I wanted to go
24:08
through the phone, reach through, grab his little Dick
24:12
and balls, pull it back through, cut it off, make him a mangina
24:19
and then shove it down his throat and make him shit it out.
24:23
However, don't be silent. You fucking laugh.
24:27
You know it's funny, yes? I can only see the hand motions
24:32
me and just did in order to demonstrate the words that were
24:35
coming out of her. Mind yes yes, because it's it
24:39
is. I am passionate about this.
24:41
I'm like RIP it through the phone, you know, do some CDT,
24:45
you know and then shove it down his fucking throat.
24:48
So I said fuck you can't fucking believe you.
24:51
How the fuck can you do this? I said.
24:55
You don't realize. People don't realize the prep
24:57
behind every session. He's not doing it in the
25:01
dungeon. We do this outside because shit
25:03
smells. The smell lingers.
25:05
I don't have windows in the fucking dungeon, Right?
25:07
Yeah, but so the back porch, the back patio, it's all blown off.
25:12
That was taken care of. Check.
25:13
I took necessary prep to have this happen for him.
25:17
He tells me in all of this that not only that his session that
25:21
he wanted, but he wanted to take some home with him.
25:25
Now if you would have seen Kylie's face.
25:27
Right then it was that I. Should have film that that was
25:33
perfect. You were like what?
25:38
So after he said that I was like OK I have the perfect container.
25:42
Right now I have issues with my brother because my brother is a
25:44
douche bag. So I was going to send it, send
25:48
my shit home with this man. That was my brothers little
25:52
Rubbermaid food saver container. Okay, so anyway, so then it says
26:02
to me, well, hey, can I just can I just come by and pick it up
26:07
and we don't have to do the session?
26:09
And I said sure. He's like, but could I have it
26:11
on video? I'm like, yeah, we can do that.
26:13
I mean, nobody's going to identify me by my right.
26:16
Yeah, of course. So anyway, so I was going to do
26:19
that for him. And then of course you say this
26:23
rate and this rate does not sync with him, but he's like, yeah, I
26:27
get it. But I'm like, look,
26:30
motherfucker, you were in downtown Pensacola.
26:31
I guarantee you you dropped at least $300 and the fact of it is
26:37
that you want something golden and special that nobody is
26:41
willing to give you. This man's 28 years old.
26:44
There is no cute little 28 year old girl who's like ohh yeah
26:48
I'll shit on you. You can eat my shit and lick my
26:50
asshole. Yeah, I'm sorry.
26:52
I don't know any other woman like that.
26:53
I don't know a woman in their 20s, thirties, 40s who will
26:56
fucking do that. Now, granted, he's not going to
26:58
lick my asshole, but the, the fact that, yeah, no girl's going
27:02
to do it just like I tell these men.
27:06
Trust me. Introduce me to a woman who
27:08
wants to dress you up, peg you and treat you like their little
27:11
bitch. Those women are very hard to
27:14
find. Granted, you can go on fat.
27:16
You could probably find someone 9 times out of 10, you're not
27:20
going to like her on the the other side of the kink.
27:23
So you have to have the entire encompassed personality of a
27:28
person. Yeah, right.
27:30
Right. Yeah.
27:31
Now, granted, I've met men who have married women just for
27:34
their feet because they have extreme foot fetishes.
27:36
And guess what? The marriage does not work out.
27:38
Why? Because.
27:40
Can't stare at their feet all day.
27:41
Yes, and their personalities don't match the feet.
27:44
Yeah. So anyway, Little Fuck cancelled
27:47
on me and I told him I said, you know what?
27:49
Next time I'm not doing a deal for you.
27:51
We're not not doing this shit. This is where it's going to be.
27:54
This is how it's going to be and This is why I say kink dispenser
27:59
take advantage of it. This is what Mistress me deals
28:01
with on a daily and it's annoying that.
28:04
Is annoying. But now, on the flip side of
28:06
things, I've gotten these amazing emails.
28:08
I get these beautiful text messages from a lot of amazing
28:14
men. Justin, my sweet little Sissy,
28:17
it's always Mistress Mia. No one deserves you.
28:19
You're so perfect. I just adore you.
28:22
You're great. Da da, da, da da.
28:23
This man was getting a job. At some point, he's going to
28:26
move to Atlanta and he said, Mistress Mia, you know, I'll put
28:29
you on my flight plan and I'll fly you to Atlanta if you just
28:32
come and see me. That's how wonderful my sweet
28:35
little Justin is, right? Yeah.
28:37
Amazing it is. It's amazing.
28:39
But like I said, despite little fucking turd bags who like to
28:42
eat shit, there's other ones out there that are just fucking
28:49
great. But the fact that he wanted to
28:51
take my golden shit home with him, it's like, you should see
28:56
Kylie's face again. I was like, what are you going
29:01
to do? What are you going to do?
29:02
Is he going to sit? And that's the thing of it is I
29:04
said to somebody and. I just got a really bad mental
29:09
image. You're thinking, is he going to
29:15
sit there and have it for a meal?
29:17
Yes, or. Just sitting in the dining room
29:20
table with a spoon. Just yes.
29:23
And it was funny because I said to him when we first met, I'm
29:26
like, yeah, you know, it's all, I'm all carnivore.
29:29
I eat my butter, my steak, some chicken, rarely chicken, but
29:34
it's normally any type of steak. Beef.
29:37
I do have some pork. I do pork rinds.
29:39
I do. I like the carnivore bread.
29:41
I do the carnivore cheese bread. I do all these things.
29:44
But it's all fucking carnivore, bottom line.
29:47
There's no carbs in that shit. Yeah, all protein.
29:51
Protein. But, you know, it's like, where
29:55
do you go from here when you finally hear someone that says,
29:58
I want you to pack it up and send it home in a storage
30:02
container just for me. I mean, it's kind of flattering.
30:05
It is flat. It is a very flattering thought
30:08
to, you know, to be, to feel that, you know, to be that
30:10
special to somebody. It is.
30:11
It's very. Like I said, it's just a simple
30:15
fact though. It's like, don't fuck with me
30:19
and miss your appointment, right?
30:21
Yeah, don't schedule unless you're planning on really
30:24
following through. Right.
30:25
Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
30:27
It's weird, it's really weird, but I deal with stuff like that
30:32
at various times and you know, tis is life.
30:38
I'm still shaking her head like oh, the golden shit, OK.
30:42
I don't do bodily fluids at all in any way, so that's all gross
30:46
to me. Yeah, you do.
30:47
You do come. You just don't like.
30:49
Come and spit are the only two. Come and spit, I was gonna say.
30:53
And you like the spit in your mouth?
30:55
Yes, spit. The thing is though, like I'm
30:57
very particular about where spit goes because don't spit on my
31:00
face. You spit in my mouth.
31:02
I don't want you spit anywhere else though.
31:03
I don't, I don't want you to spit on my body.
31:05
Like that's not not what I want. Yeah, you would have loved it
31:09
last night when I went out to dinner and I'm sitting in there,
31:12
my friend, she's just talking. She's little intoxicated at some
31:15
point. And what does she do?
31:16
She spits in my face and I'm like, let me grab that napkin,
31:24
how are you? I think she has pissed on me, on
31:27
my PVC pants and she has spit in my face.
31:30
But. I love her still.
31:31
It doesn't matter anyway. Yeah, I'm OK with that.
31:35
You're OK with that? Fun times.
31:39
Fun times. Anyway, this has been exciting,
31:43
Kylie. Has been.
31:45
It's been a fun day. It's been a fun day, hasn't it?
31:47
We've. Had a fun day.
31:48
I have got so many things to edit.
31:50
I have. I've started a new series of
31:55
different 10 minute segment chapters of fetish stories.
32:01
OK, that I am posting like the full story on the Call Me
32:05
Mistress and it'll be subscription only, so they'll
32:08
have to pay to listen to it. OK.
32:11
However, if they want to hear each episode separately
32:14
throughout a few weeks at a time, then they can go to the
32:17
Mistress Me as Bedtime Stories podcast, OK?
32:21
But I will encourage everyone. Yeah, I will encourage everyone
32:24
that please go on Spotify, rate my podcast, yes.
32:29
Amazing. I'm yeah, I'm so glad people
32:31
enjoy it. I really do.
32:33
And This is why I'm going to read.
32:36
I there's a few on here that people have left me emails in
32:40
the past week and they're just so fucking cool.
32:44
I did have this text message, totally not e-mail related, but
32:48
this gentleman reached out to me and I asked him.
32:51
I said, do you have a fetish? He said I just want to fuck your
32:55
face and I said well I'm not a hooker so go fuck your Mama.
32:59
I hear she's free. Mia is so mean sometimes to
33:04
people online she will comment like if people say something
33:07
sexual to her she will just comment the most just vulgar
33:11
things without the hesitation and it's one of the many things
33:13
I love about her. Love it too.
33:15
I love it. She's just, you don't care.
33:18
And I love that personality so much.
33:20
I'm so glad, I appreciate. That I'll see comments on fat
33:23
life of just I'm not a hooker, go find somewhere else.
33:25
And I'm just like you telling Mia.
33:27
Yes, you tell. Exactly.
33:29
I had this one gentleman, he wrote me on fat.
33:31
He said. I just heard your podcast for
33:33
the first time and I just wanted to share how much I enjoyed it.
33:37
It was the episode where you discussed diapers and a
33:39
self-made questionnaire by a recent visitor.
33:43
Very fun, kink positive. Just wanted to say thanks and I
33:46
hope you might do more on the topic if it interests you.
33:50
We always do something about adult baby.
33:52
And this brings me up to my next statement of what I was going to
33:59
to say about Oh goodness, baby Tay.
34:05
You've heard me talk about Baby Tay.
34:07
Well, I made some notes about baby Tay because this man called
34:12
me and I was like, hold on, I'm going to make some notes.
34:15
Baby Tay, you sick little fuck, man.
34:17
I love this because he's all about fucking his aunt.
34:21
Yes, yeah. I mean, his aunt must be just
34:25
hot, hot hot. Listen, sometimes we have that
34:28
hot aunt that you just wish you could crawl up in there, right?
34:31
Wow, yeah, I've felt that way about some cousins.
34:35
I had one older cousin. I was like, bam, Andy Garcia,
34:40
motherfucker. My parents are cousins.
34:43
What? You told me all the fucking shit
34:48
about your family and that that just flops out of your mouth
34:55
just fucking now, OK? Are they first or second
34:58
cousins? They're a little bit further
35:00
down, luckily. What's funny is they're they're
35:03
technically biological 4th cousins, so it's a little bit
35:05
further down. OK, but funnily enough, my
35:08
grandmother knew that they were cousins but but they thought
35:11
that she meant married in so they got married anyways.
35:14
She did not mean married in, she meant biologic.
35:16
They just thought she was confused.
35:17
Wow. So me and my sister are fifth
35:20
cousins and me and my mom are cousins and me and my dad are
35:22
cousins biologically. Kylie, Kylie.
35:28
Oh my God. God you sick fuck.
35:34
I didn't do it. I was an innocent bystander.
35:37
Don't it? I did nothing of the sorts.
35:42
I'm just fucking with you. You know Kevin Bacon and Kylie
35:46
Sedgwick. They're husband and wife.
35:48
They're actually distant cousins.
35:51
OK, it is happened. It does happen.
35:53
Especially in our small little world.
35:55
Yeah. That's funny shit.
35:57
Yeah, that's quite funny. Well, back to baby Tay and
36:01
incest. So he shows up.
36:06
He shows up and he's over at his aunt's and he has talked before
36:10
about how he's been very, very catering to his aunt.
36:16
He's he caters to a lot of what she wants to do.
36:20
And so he went over there. He's cleaning her house, he'll
36:24
make her dinner a lot of times, blah, blah, blah.
36:26
Anyway, he went over there one night and her boyfriends there,
36:29
and he's a much older man. He's more dominant, but he
36:31
apparently he's bisexual. And he goes in and she's like,
36:38
hey, Tay, I want you to come in. I want you to see.
36:41
We're going to call him Mr. Smith.
36:43
Mr. Smith is here. I want to show him your diaper.
36:45
And he's like, what kind of deal?
36:48
Like, kind of shocked a little bit about it.
36:51
But he goes in from the kitchen into the living room.
36:53
And she's like, yeah, turn around.
36:55
I want to show, you know, Mr. Smith your diaper.
36:58
And he's like, OK, auntie, you know.
37:00
And so he pulls down his pants, shows the man his diaper.
37:05
And she's like, good, now I want you to squat there, and I want
37:08
you to poop in your diaper. And I'm going to have him change
37:10
you. He's going to pretend to be your
37:12
daddy. Whoa.
37:16
Damn. Yes, so she goes in there, makes
37:21
him do this and baby Tay squats, produces a little something.
37:27
They the Ant and this daddy change him lotions his bottom,
37:34
puts baby powder on him. Then his new daddy said, hey,
37:40
Tay, you go in your auntie's room.
37:42
I want you to bend over the bed. What?
37:49
Now we have to remember this is a grown ass man.
37:51
He's in his 40s. OK.
37:52
Yeah. And the daddy is like hitting
37:54
sixty. Yeah, right.
37:56
The daddy has a big ass Dick. Yeah.
38:00
OK so baby Tay gets in there and before the daddy comes in daddy
38:08
is fucking his aunt and he gets to watch fucking his aunt going
38:14
into the living room. So he's watching his auntie get
38:17
fucked and plowed by this big ass Dick and the man does not
38:20
come but instead he comes in and he continues to well excuse me.
38:27
He proceeds to pull baby Tay's diaper to the side and fuck baby
38:34
Tay in his ass and then proceeds to shoot his load into baby
38:39
Tay's ass while. His aunt's wetness, his loop,
38:45
that is. Yes, and his aunt is watching
38:49
this after she just got railed by that same Dick.
38:53
Yeah, damn. Yes, he told me that last week
38:58
when the guy came over on a Sunday.
39:02
And Sunday. Yeah, see, on a Sunday his aunt
39:08
had him stay in the room while she got fucked by her new daddy
39:11
cock. Yeah.
39:12
Well, he's going to watch it, Lee, he's.
39:13
Going to watch? Yeah.
39:15
And now he's getting the same Dick that was just in his aunt.
39:18
Yeah, that's got to be like a next to what he wants.
39:22
Pretty, yeah, it's very close. But I told him, I said, you
39:25
know, you've kind of put yourself in that cock zone and I
39:28
just told you what a cock is at this point.
39:31
And he's he's all about it. However, he still wants to fuck
39:35
his aunt. And he said that finally, after
39:39
all of this, after he watched his aunt get fucked by her new
39:43
boyfriend, his aunt let him kiss her and eat her pussy and her
39:48
asshole. Wow.
39:49
Wow. Wow, that hey.
39:51
Hey, right. Get what you want.
39:53
I mean, you keep working at it till you get what you want,
39:55
honey. Do you Boo right?
39:57
Absolutely. Yeah, he's, you know, 40
40:00
something year old man. Let him go to chow town on his
40:03
aunt. Live their best life.
40:05
I mean, she's already, she's in her 50s, you know.
40:09
Yeah, I got like 1213 years apart.
40:11
No big deal. Not even that big of an age gap.
40:14
But you know, to each their own, right?
40:18
I mean, I know it's not for you and I.
40:20
No, no, it's not a. No.
40:24
Well, at least if it was me, none of my hands are biological
40:28
so. Oh yeah, then you could still
40:30
fuck them. Yeah, there's no blood.
40:32
There's no, there's no, there's no blood relation.
40:33
I know. Yeah.
40:36
Sorry about World War up there. Probably got one left, but you
40:40
know. Kinda is like you're me, make
40:42
you cum with my mouth and my fingers.
40:44
Yeah, I got my package is bigger than my uncles from my
40:47
understanding so. Damn.
40:50
OK then what that strap is at least.
40:52
Got to love the strap on right? Got to love the strap on girl.
40:57
I got a new one. It needs to be broken in and I
41:01
got two men right there who's going to get it.
41:04
And break it in right. Oh my God, I tell you this funny
41:08
story. OK, so first I got an e-mail
41:11
from a Sissy. I love my sissy's.
41:13
Come on baby. Hello mistress, I enjoy your
41:15
podcast very much. I'm thinking about looking into
41:18
actually acting on my Sissy fetish but I'm incredibly shy.
41:23
I'm afraid that even if I booked a session I would leak and
41:27
instantly regret it and I'd want to leave ASAP.
41:31
Any advice? And coincidentally I've had a
41:33
lot of fucking 20 something year old men contact me being
41:37
sissies. So I'm going to say this.
41:40
And I said this to him. Don't be a pussy and follow what
41:43
makes you truly happy. Yeah, exactly, exactly.
41:47
And think about it too, is someone messaged me off that
41:50
talking about potentially like meeting up and doing stuff.
41:53
And it was like, I have a tendency to come quick.
41:55
And I'm like, I don't care if you're excited enough to come
41:57
quickly. I don't care personally because
42:00
for me personally, I play with women.
42:01
The faster women come, the better you're doing as a job,
42:04
right? So when it comes to men, I'm
42:06
going to have the same mentality of if they come quickly, that
42:09
means I'm doing something right. So like to me it doesn't matter.
42:12
I will say I got another e-mail. Mistress Mia, that last episode
42:16
was the best ever. I've never heard you laugh so
42:19
much. You and Barbie are comedy gold.
42:22
I was in tears laughing so much. Awesome awesome awesome.
42:25
I can't say anymore. There's no reason Call Me
42:27
Mistress shouldn't be the number one podcast out there.
42:30
Thanks and have a fabulous weekend.
42:32
This is my friend from Fetlife named Shiny 99 and he is a
42:37
sweetheart. I told him.
42:39
I said, well, we got to meet one day, we just have to.
42:41
And. It's sweet.
42:43
So sweet. Such a cool guy.
42:45
But anywho, back to our crazy life.
42:48
Yeah, Baby Tay. The whole thing with his aunt,
42:50
he'll call me and he's like, you know, I still consider you my
42:53
mommy. And I'm like, well, thanks, baby
42:55
Tay. So he's going to come down in
42:58
the next month or two, and he wants to actually come.
43:01
So I finally get to do a session with him.
43:03
Oh nice, that was good. For him, yeah.
43:06
Yeah, it really is. It really is.
43:08
I'm all about it. Yeah.
43:09
And that fun. That is fun.
43:11
But I will tell you in conclusion to this Barbie and I
43:15
did a tickle session the other day.
43:18
Oh, my gosh. You know what I always tell all
43:23
the ladies that work in the dungeon is when you go in,
43:27
always have a playlist ready for the type of mood that someone
43:31
may or may not be in. You have to kind of work with
43:34
who you're with. Yeah.
43:36
So like, I have a thing just for my ABDL guys.
43:40
Some are fun abdl like little kids songs.
43:46
They're really cute, like Baby Shark.
43:48
I do that with Sir Doofus. It's adorable.
43:50
But then I'll have like lullabies if they just want to
43:53
like cuddle and let me read to them, that kind of stuff.
43:56
But then I have one and it's like really a song about torture
44:00
and pain. It's like a list of of dungeon
44:02
songs. I have different ones, you know,
44:05
I mix and match them. But anyway, the the point of the
44:08
fucking story is Barbie and I did this the tickle session and
44:13
I wanted to do something kind of fast and I used I love DMX, God
44:19
rest his soul, love the man anyway.
44:21
But I have this guy and we roped him, tied him down, lots of
44:26
rope. He wanted his toes and his feet
44:31
flexed inward a little bit. Right.
44:35
And he's like, yeah, I just want to kind of be uncomfortable with
44:38
that. I'm like, fuck, yeah, OK, let's
44:40
do it. But he's like, he just wanted us
44:42
using fingers on him. So we just I mean, when you
44:45
start tickling somebody for an hour, your hands and your
44:48
fingers start locking up. Yeah, right.
44:51
So I was telling Barbie, hey, we'll start with a little light
44:54
this like this. And then you really just dig
44:56
into his wrist. Then you can dig into his inner
44:59
thigh. And then she was finding spots
45:01
on him that were really ticklish.
45:03
And just the way you we can interact with one another, but I
45:07
ex going to give it to you like and it was like I was like X
45:10
going to give it to you. I'm like, Mia's going to give it
45:12
to you. I'm like grab him and he's like,
45:14
I mean, he was it was hilarious. Oh my God, we had so much fun
45:19
it. Sounds like a fun time.
45:21
It was a. Very fucking fun time.
45:23
So if he comes back on a Friday, I'm hooking you up, Kylie, and
45:27
you're going to tickle some motherfucker, OK?
45:29
It's great. So great, so much fun.
45:33
Anyway, I think we've covered it.
45:35
I think we've covered a fucking lot with this.
45:38
Fuck incest dogs. Fucking crazy shit.
45:42
Like our crazy day emails. Oh shit eater.
45:48
Yeah, that's yeah. My golden shit.
45:52
And that's mentioned the 40 minutes it took us to set this
45:54
up because of the thing shut working, yes.
45:57
Everyone, Mr. Smea needs a Zoom P4 set up for her podcast
46:03
because it is frying, it's not doing well and I use it entirely
46:08
too much. Yeah, it is.
46:11
It's showing its age. I and I've only had it like 3
46:14
years I think and it's like it's crumbling.
46:17
It's like Mia help make it a new one.
46:21
And I'll say this, Kylie, you're Kylie Dash Marley is it
46:27
underscores it. Dash believe it's Dash I think
46:30
so I can check. For you, but I believe it's
46:32
dash. All right, so this is what we're
46:34
going to do for everyone who wants to see a fucking hot porn
46:38
video of you getting fucked with toys getting dirty shit done to
46:44
you. They can get that either on
46:49
going to our Loyal Fans at Mistress Mia ray.com on Loyal
46:53
Fans or, or I can send it to them personally via Dropbox if
46:58
they want to give you something really nice, preferably some new
47:03
something, something on your Amazon wishlist or your Sheen
47:07
wishlist. Yeah.
47:08
So people, Kylie, she needs some fun stuff and she's a great
47:12
little girl and she's a lovely little mascot for the dungeon.
47:17
Yes, exactly. I love that.
47:20
I love that. That's that's great.
47:21
You like that, Kylie? The.
47:23
Lesbian virgin. Yes, yes, mascot for the Mia's
47:27
Manor. Exactly, love it.
47:31
And I will say our next party is coming up in May, May 8th.
47:36
People that are interested in coming, they need to talk to me.
47:39
I will give them additional info, but it's going to be off
47:42
the hook. And if they need, yes, and if
47:46
they need hotel arrangements, I'm going through different
47:49
hotels for little hotel discounts.
47:52
So they need to come check it out.
47:54
All right, So Kylie, thank you again.
47:56
Yes, it's been awesome. It has been right.
48:00
It's been a great day. Amazing podcast, love it.
48:04
You know, it's the listeners who make the podcast great.
48:06
It is. It is because they appreciate it
48:09
and they like it. Exactly.
48:10
And normalize kink. Yeah, because everybody's got a
48:14
dirty little kink. William and Kylie are on the
48:17
same Dick day. Yeah, we're sucking Dick a lot.
48:20
So many things. So many things.
48:22
And every Friday we're doing something kinky with Kylie.
48:26
Kinky with Kylie. On Fridays, this is.
48:29
Gonna be the whole new thing. Oh my God, kinky with Kylie on
48:32
Fridays. Love it.
48:33
Kinky Kylie Fridays. Yes, there we go.
48:36
No, we still have fucked up Fridays.
48:38
We still have fucked up Fridays. I'm still doing those kinky.
48:40
Kylie, we're doing it. I love it.
48:42
Look at that just rolls off the tongue.
48:44
Kinky Kylie. All right, so until then, you
48:49
kinky dirty whores and you dirty little slut.
48:54
This has been the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.