Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / I Choose … to Accept My Body on its Own Terms with Stacy London

Transcript

I Choose … to Accept My Body on its Own Terms with Stacy London · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

0:01
Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Welcome
0:08
Speaker 1: to I Choose Me, a podcast about the choices we
0:12
Speaker 1: make to come home to ourselves. Today's guest has been
0:16
Speaker 1: called a midlife advocate. She is screaming into the void
0:21
Speaker 1: that we should celebrate this time of our lives because
0:24
Speaker 1: for so long, midlife was framed as a decline, a crisis,
0:29
Speaker 1: something of fear, especially for women. But Stacy London is
0:34
Speaker 1: one of the people who helped flip that script. So
0:38
Speaker 1: this conversation is about style as a practice of choosing yourself.
0:44
Speaker 1: It's about aging without apology, and it's about being brave.
0:50
Speaker 1: I can't think of a better person to help us
0:52
Speaker 1: navigate what midlife can actually be. Powerful, expansive, and deeply
1:00
Speaker 1: our own. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, the incomparable Stacy London. Hello,
1:06
Speaker 1: you are being called a midlife advocate.
1:09
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, it doesn't it doesn't not resonate, right,
1:14
Speaker 2: I just it's just such a big term, and I
1:18
Speaker 2: never realized that, you know, I would want to advocate
1:22
Speaker 2: for any part of life more than any other. Right,
1:25
Speaker 2: I'm a life advocate. I want you to go ahead
1:26
Speaker 2: and do whatever it is you want to do have
1:28
Speaker 2: whatever you want to have. But I did not realize
1:32
Speaker 2: even though I, you know, I identify as a woman,
1:35
Speaker 2: I have been a woman in my whole life. I
1:37
Speaker 2: have been subjected to the same kind of patriarchal lenses
1:40
Speaker 2: we all have. But it did not occur to me
1:44
Speaker 2: how hard getting older was going to be, just on
1:49
Speaker 2: almost every level.
1:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, though nobody prepped us for this.
1:53
Speaker 2: No, And I'm like, did I miss a course? Did
1:57
Speaker 2: somebody like do the how to grown up? Well? While
2:00
Speaker 2: I was like out of school? But I think about
2:03
Speaker 2: how much I've used algebra, and I wonder how much
2:07
Speaker 2: better it would have been if somebody had been like,
2:09
Speaker 2: here is a class on emotional regulation, here is a
2:14
Speaker 2: class on financial investment as you age. I mean, all
2:18
Speaker 2: these things that I wish that I had known much
2:21
Speaker 2: earlier in my life. I wish I knew how to sew,
2:23
Speaker 2: how to cook, forget about like what happened to home
2:26
Speaker 2: ac I knew where to go?
2:29
Speaker 1: It was my favorite class, by the way.
2:33
Speaker 2: I wish i'd had it. I wish I had the
2:35
Speaker 2: opportunity to have it right.
2:36
Speaker 1: So No, I think things need to change when it
2:38
Speaker 1: comes to educating what really we need versus what other
2:44
Speaker 1: people tell us we need. I think I wish things
2:47
Speaker 1: would change in the school systems like that, but I
2:49
Speaker 1: think it maybe they're starting to.
2:52
Speaker 2: I think it's also just the fact that we, you know,
2:55
Speaker 2: I talk about the collective we of Gen X as
2:57
Speaker 2: being the generation to kind of start things out for
3:00
Speaker 2: what they are, you know, and then simultaneously, and you
3:04
Speaker 2: have kids who you probably know this even better than me.
3:07
Speaker 2: But I do feel like younger generations are truly giving
3:11
Speaker 2: us permission to be more of who we always were,
3:15
Speaker 2: and we were bound by, you know, a sense of
3:17
Speaker 2: societal shame. We didn't talk about mental health, we didn't
3:20
Speaker 2: talk about sexuality, we didn't talk about things that are
3:23
Speaker 2: normal and natural and require conversation in order to be
3:27
Speaker 2: better at them. Yes, right, And so now I feel
3:31
Speaker 2: like your kids and younger generations are allowing us to
3:36
Speaker 2: do that. And for me, that's been one of the
3:38
Speaker 2: most exciting things about being quote unquote and midlife advocate,
3:41
Speaker 2: is making it about multi generational mentorship as well.
3:45
Speaker 1: So good. Yeah, the term midlife it needs a refresh.
3:51
Speaker 1: So glad. I'm glad you're doing that because for decades,
3:54
Speaker 1: you know, it was thought of like a crisis, the
3:57
Speaker 1: old midlife crisis where you the guy gets a sports car,
4:02
Speaker 1: you know, start having an affair and the hair flugs. Yeah,
4:06
Speaker 1: and then just the complete breakdown of identity.
4:09
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I think that it is we labeled it
4:13
Speaker 2: a crisis, right, and that's our terminology for it. I
4:16
Speaker 2: think the truth is it is a huge transformation that
4:20
Speaker 2: because it comes to us when we have no education,
4:22
Speaker 2: no understanding, no kind of bigger picture of our life evolution,
4:27
Speaker 2: we think it's a crisis instead of really understanding. It's
4:30
Speaker 2: much more like a chrysalis, right. You're going from one
4:32
Speaker 2: thing to another, I think, particularly for women in this
4:37
Speaker 2: age group, and we're not getting hair plugs, and you know,
4:40
Speaker 2: maybe maybe oh maybe we're getting lashes done or we're
4:43
Speaker 2: getting our hair cut off. But frankly, I don't think
4:46
Speaker 2: that we're going through the same kind of midlife transformation
4:49
Speaker 2: that you know, traditionally we've seen men go through. Now,
4:53
Speaker 2: I think a lot of what we have experienced up
4:56
Speaker 2: until this point, certainly, you know, I can only speak
4:59
Speaker 2: for myself and my friends who you know, I've shared
5:01
Speaker 2: this with, is this sense of people pleasing really does disappear.
5:05
Speaker 2: You really stop trying to make everybody else in the
5:08
Speaker 2: room I'm comfortable, you know, especially if it's you know,
5:14
Speaker 2: in in lieu of your own comfort, right that we're
5:17
Speaker 2: willing to bear the discomfort and the pain of whatever
5:21
Speaker 2: this is, rather than kind of saying, hey, this is
5:24
Speaker 2: not the way we should be doing things, like, let's reframe.
5:28
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of the midlife conversation is
5:31
Speaker 2: about a different perspective, and if we were looking at
5:34
Speaker 2: it that way, we wouldn't feel like it was so
5:36
Speaker 2: much of a crisis that has to be dealt with,
5:38
Speaker 2: but something that we're very fortunate to be able to
5:42
Speaker 2: do and to go.
5:44
Speaker 1: Absolutely, we're talking so much more about women now in
5:48
Speaker 1: their mid lives, and you've really helped to open those conversations,
5:52
Speaker 1: and you reframe it as a power shift, not a decline. Yes,
5:58
Speaker 1: which makes perfect sense. Kiss And I think that even
6:01
Speaker 1: within that powership, you know. It's so funny.
6:03
Speaker 2: My friend Jen Rommelini wrote a book called Ambition Monster,
6:06
Speaker 2: which I highly recommend to your listeners, and one of
6:10
Speaker 2: the things that I loved so much about it and
6:11
Speaker 2: this whole conversation is that I spent half my life
6:14
Speaker 2: being embarrassed that I had so much ambition. You know,
6:17
Speaker 2: Oh it's not ladylike, You're not supposed to be so ambitious.
6:21
Speaker 2: And now I'm just tired. I identify as tired, just
6:24
Speaker 2: like Hannah Gadinsy says, and I have lost a lot
6:29
Speaker 2: of that ambition, And at first I was really mortified.
6:32
Speaker 2: I felt the same kindah team about having ambition as
6:36
Speaker 2: then not having ambition. And the one thing I have
6:39
Speaker 2: to say out of all of this, you know, sort
6:42
Speaker 2: of internal work and sort of reframing that I've done
6:45
Speaker 2: in like the last fifteen years, I would say one
6:48
Speaker 2: of the biggest things is giving myself more grace yep,
6:52
Speaker 2: allowing myself to be like, wow, you know just what
6:55
Speaker 2: you were saying before. Who knew we were going to
6:57
Speaker 2: have these phases of our lives. I mean, you are
7:00
Speaker 2: an icon in America. You're an icon, Jenny. The idea
7:03
Speaker 2: that there was a life after nine o two one zero,
7:06
Speaker 2: I mean, did you even think about that at the time. Whatever,
7:10
Speaker 2: It's just who you were. It's sort of the way
7:12
Speaker 2: I think about what not to wear, except that I
7:14
Speaker 2: outgrew what not to wear, even though you know it's
7:18
Speaker 2: still a beloved show. I want to be able to
7:21
Speaker 2: do more with what I learned and build on that,
7:23
Speaker 2: because my life is not just what I do, it's
7:27
Speaker 2: what I learn, it's what I experience, it's all of
7:30
Speaker 2: these things. And so ambition in one area has really
7:33
Speaker 2: kind of dissipated for me in terms of career, and
7:36
Speaker 2: curiosity has like really taken over eos of what to do.
7:41
Speaker 1: Instead, you really start to lean into the curiosity of
7:45
Speaker 1: things because we're like sponges at this age. Like, I
7:48
Speaker 1: feel like I'm just garnering all this information from so
7:52
Speaker 1: many incredible women like yourself, and it's just opening so
7:56
Speaker 1: many doors of whether it's energetically within my own or
8:01
Speaker 1: just in life. I think it's amazing.
8:03
Speaker 2: Do you.
8:04
Speaker 1: Feel like you are still a work in progress even
8:08
Speaker 1: at this age?
8:10
Speaker 2: Always? In fact, sometimes I think I'm more work in
8:12
Speaker 2: progress than I was, much more sure of myself in
8:14
Speaker 2: my twenties, and now I question everything. I'm like, Oh,
8:18
Speaker 2: I don't know, is that the right thing to think?
8:20
Speaker 2: You know? The thing that I find very interesting is
8:24
Speaker 2: that I've been doing a new kind of therapy. It's
8:26
Speaker 2: not new, it's just not talk therapy, and it's called
8:29
Speaker 2: dialectical behavioral therapy, and it falls under the rubric of
8:34
Speaker 2: cognitive behavioral therapy, right, But it's the belief system that
8:38
Speaker 2: we can change the way we think. We do need
8:41
Speaker 2: to have neuroplasticity in our brains. That requires curiosity, that
8:45
Speaker 2: requires a little bit of hypervigilance. And one of the
8:48
Speaker 2: things that I've noticed as I've gotten older is I
8:50
Speaker 2: have to question what I think. I used to think
8:53
Speaker 2: that whatever I thought was the true, right, it is
8:57
Speaker 2: what it is right I think it therefore it is
9:00
Speaker 2: rather than understanding that there's like all these years of
9:03
Speaker 2: conditioning behind me, even genetics that play into the way
9:07
Speaker 2: that I see the world, and that is not necessarily
9:09
Speaker 2: the way everyone sees the world. And I could get
9:13
Speaker 2: emotional thinking about sort of just what's going on in
9:16
Speaker 2: the world at the moment. But I wish that we
9:18
Speaker 2: were able to employ more empathy. I wish that we
9:23
Speaker 2: were able to understand that people make choices, decisions, have
9:27
Speaker 2: belief systems around what they've been conditioned to believe. That
9:32
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that it's true, it's just what they believe, right.
9:35
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean what I believe is true, But it
9:38
Speaker 2: does mean there's a ton of room for conversation that
9:41
Speaker 2: allows for more things to be true than the contradictory.
9:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I think back to the thought, and you know,
9:49
Speaker 1: when something comes into your mind, it's just a thought,
9:52
Speaker 1: it's not a fact. And like just saying that to myself,
9:56
Speaker 1: like hm, that's interesting looking at it and saying, you
9:58
Speaker 1: know what, that's just I thought. That doesn't mean it's
10:01
Speaker 1: anyone else's thought. And then it doesn't mean it's true
10:04
Speaker 1: for anyone else. And that really did open up, like
10:07
Speaker 1: my eyes to we're all here doing the same thing.
10:11
Speaker 1: We all want, you know, we all, well most of
10:14
Speaker 1: us have the same goal, and that is to live
10:16
Speaker 1: happily and free from suffering and in a kind manner.
10:21
Speaker 1: But you kind of forget that because you're trapped up
10:23
Speaker 1: in your mind and your thoughts.
10:25
Speaker 2: Of course, and even this idea of free from suffering,
10:28
Speaker 2: what does that mean? Right? You know, life is suffering.
10:30
Speaker 2: But and this is like, I know, I'm getting a
10:32
Speaker 2: little philosophical, definitely. I've been reading the Stoics and a
10:35
Speaker 2: lot of Buddhism right lately. You know, you're never free
10:39
Speaker 2: from suffering. If you don't accept that suffering is a
10:42
Speaker 2: part of life, you're never free from it. In fact,
10:44
Speaker 2: you're making it a thousand times worse for yourself. There
10:47
Speaker 2: is this idea also in dialectical behavioral therapy called radical acceptance.
10:52
Speaker 2: It is what it is. You know. Some people can
10:54
Speaker 2: say that in the most dismissive manner, But if we're
10:57
Speaker 2: not going to you know, you have to agree on
11:00
Speaker 2: what is what is happening right now. And once we
11:03
Speaker 2: can agree on that, then we can sort of disseminate,
11:06
Speaker 2: you know, whether or not there's like more issues to
11:08
Speaker 2: discuss or were problems to solve. But this idea that
11:11
Speaker 2: we think that we're going to get away scott free
11:13
Speaker 2: with no suffering, no hardship in life, I almost feel
11:16
Speaker 2: like it's the opposite. You know, we should just assume
11:18
Speaker 2: that life is fu filled with suffering and hardship, and
11:21
Speaker 2: how lucky we are to be able to make meaning,
11:25
Speaker 2: to create purpose and find happiness. Those are things that
11:29
Speaker 2: I think are uniquely amazing to being human, not just
11:33
Speaker 2: oh woe is me? We get to suffer. That's sort
11:36
Speaker 2: of you know, beside the point.
11:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that mentality of like, it really gets
11:42
Speaker 1: me when someone says, well, I am what I am,
11:44
Speaker 1: this is me take it or leave it, Like exactly, no,
11:47
Speaker 1: there's nothing is nothing is It's beautiful. This is all temporary.
11:51
Speaker 1: In the next moment, you're going to be a completely
11:53
Speaker 1: different person.
11:55
Speaker 2: And you know, and I also think, look, there are
11:56
Speaker 2: people who are always going to say that, right, I
11:58
Speaker 2: am what I am, and in some cases they are
12:01
Speaker 2: what they are. They know they're not going to change whatever.
12:03
Speaker 2: But the idea that they don't even allow for the
12:07
Speaker 2: possibility of evolution. Or if you're willing to kind of
12:10
Speaker 2: put your flag in the sand and say this, this
12:13
Speaker 2: is where the buck stops. I am this person, then
12:16
Speaker 2: you know, be prepared. Not everybody is going to like
12:19
Speaker 2: who you are. Not everybody is going to agree with
12:21
Speaker 2: who you are. But if you are confident and capable
12:27
Speaker 2: of expressing who you are and why, then you know
12:29
Speaker 2: the people, your people will find you. And we forget
12:33
Speaker 2: that because we're always I don't know, I sort of
12:36
Speaker 2: thinking life was a popularity contest. It wasn't just in school, right,
12:39
Speaker 2: it was like everybody has to like you. Nobody cannot
12:42
Speaker 2: like you. That's the problem. You don't want anybody to
12:45
Speaker 2: dislike you. And now I'm sort of like, no, I'm
12:48
Speaker 2: doing a pretty good job of being me if not
12:51
Speaker 2: everybody likes me. Right, So I can't be palatable to everyone.
12:56
Speaker 1: No, no, we can't please everybody all the time. There's
12:59
Speaker 1: something gorgeous about what you just said about like defining
13:03
Speaker 1: who you are and being very confident in it and
13:06
Speaker 1: saying this is me and living your life by that, Moniker.
13:11
Speaker 1: But there's also the other side of it, which is
13:13
Speaker 1: what we were just talking about, about being open and
13:16
Speaker 1: curious and wanting to in searching. I've always been a searcher,
13:20
Speaker 1: and I can't. It's hard for me to understand people
13:23
Speaker 1: that aren't what are stuck?
13:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, you know, and I do. I agree.
13:28
Speaker 2: I think being stuck is Unfortunately, it's super easy. Right,
13:32
Speaker 2: We've all done there. We have all been there, and
13:35
Speaker 2: even lately, you know, I really struggled between the news
13:39
Speaker 2: and not looking the news and then reading the news
13:41
Speaker 2: compulsively and feeling this like overwhelming sense of just deep sadness.
13:48
Speaker 2: You know, that kind of creates a sense of inactivity.
13:51
Speaker 2: Even if I have to get up every day, even
13:52
Speaker 2: if I have to go walk the dog or go
13:54
Speaker 2: to a meeting, it feels like things are sort of happening,
13:58
Speaker 2: like I'm walking through mud. Right. But I think that
14:01
Speaker 2: the thing that we tend to forget is the idea
14:05
Speaker 2: of impermanence. Nothing stays forever, no feeling, no thought, no fact, nothing,
14:11
Speaker 2: And sometimes it is the only way that I can
14:14
Speaker 2: get up is to remember. Look, I may feel this
14:17
Speaker 2: way about myself today, I may feel this way about
14:19
Speaker 2: what's going on in the world, but that doesn't mean
14:21
Speaker 2: it's going to have to be that way tomorrow. And
14:24
Speaker 2: I can say to the world this is me, take
14:26
Speaker 2: it or leave it, but also be open to the
14:28
Speaker 2: idea that maybe I don't know a year from now,
14:30
Speaker 2: having taken a course or read a book or whatever
14:33
Speaker 2: it is, that it's going to expand my sense of
14:35
Speaker 2: myself to include something else as well.
14:38
Speaker 1: Right, right, that's the beauty of it. We are QVC
14:47
Speaker 1: sisters for those of you who don't know, we're both
14:50
Speaker 1: q Q fifty ambassadors. We're repping the we're repping I'm
14:55
Speaker 1: hard the women over fifty and it's been such a
14:58
Speaker 1: great experience for me and I can tell that you
15:02
Speaker 1: really derive a lot of joy out of it as well.
15:05
Speaker 1: And we're actually, yeah, we're kind of like in very
15:08
Speaker 1: similar situations building our fashion brands at QBC and how
15:12
Speaker 1: important and passionate we both are about that. I know
15:15
Speaker 1: we're doing the same thing, and we're designing clothes for
15:19
Speaker 1: women that make them feel gorgeous in midlife. Yeah, that's
15:24
Speaker 1: like both of our goals. But I know that you
15:28
Speaker 1: love making people feel and look beautiful. Are you loving
15:32
Speaker 1: this designing in this capacity with your line?
15:36
Speaker 2: I mean, I think the intention for the line is
15:39
Speaker 2: really what I love, you know, if I mean, I
15:42
Speaker 2: don't know if I have yet to what's the word
15:47
Speaker 2: execute on it? Exactly right? I feel like there's a
15:50
Speaker 2: lot of learning curves obviously to designing when you're designing
15:54
Speaker 2: for a lot of different kinds of people and a
15:56
Speaker 2: lot of different kinds of bodies and ages and all
15:58
Speaker 2: of the things that we talked about, and my desire
16:01
Speaker 2: to do something that is different and innovative, and you know,
16:05
Speaker 2: worrying about people pushing people too far outside their comfort zone,
16:09
Speaker 2: which you always have to respect as a stylist. I
16:12
Speaker 2: found it, you know, I think I find it much
16:14
Speaker 2: easier than designing because as a stylist, like I can
16:17
Speaker 2: already say I know how this is cut, and I
16:19
Speaker 2: know what this is going to do, and I'll put
16:20
Speaker 2: this together and I'll take a piece from Jenny's line,
16:22
Speaker 2: I'll take a piece from my line and take a
16:24
Speaker 2: piece from Carlas's line. I don't love having just one
16:27
Speaker 2: body of clothing to work with, because I don't think
16:29
Speaker 2: that's the way people dress. But what I do love
16:33
Speaker 2: is this real understanding that we are going through a
16:37
Speaker 2: series of, you know, identity questions when we're in midlife,
16:42
Speaker 2: and that really can be both questioned and answered through style.
16:47
Speaker 2: It's a great way to experiment with who you want
16:49
Speaker 2: to be now, what you want to look like now,
16:51
Speaker 2: what you want to say to the world now, which
16:53
Speaker 2: is probably very different from twenty five to thirty five,
16:56
Speaker 2: even forty five, and how you want to maintain your
17:00
Speaker 2: sense of self and evolve. At the same topic, what
17:03
Speaker 2: does it mean to look your age? I always want
17:06
Speaker 2: to look my age, but I want to look great
17:07
Speaker 2: for my age, So what does that mean? What looks relevant?
17:12
Speaker 2: What looks like I'm participating in society without having to
17:15
Speaker 2: be a slave to trends. So there are all these
17:17
Speaker 2: questions that you know you kind of want to ask.
17:19
Speaker 2: I find it to be a very fulfilling but very
17:22
Speaker 2: complicated process, because you know some things are going to
17:25
Speaker 2: work and some things aren't. And you really have to
17:27
Speaker 2: take that feedback and kind of measure it against what
17:30
Speaker 2: your goals are. So in some cases, like I did
17:34
Speaker 2: a sweater that did not do very well, but I
17:36
Speaker 2: believe in this sweater because I know that, like further
17:39
Speaker 2: down the line, it's going to go with a lot
17:41
Speaker 2: of different pieces that you're going to start to see
17:43
Speaker 2: in the collection. So that means I'm going to hold
17:45
Speaker 2: onto that sweater until I can kind of put it
17:48
Speaker 2: in a framework that you understand and that you feel
17:50
Speaker 2: comfortable with. That takes a second. I don't know if
17:53
Speaker 2: you've experienced the same thing, but getting to know hurt,
17:56
Speaker 2: getting to know our customers is it really takes quite
18:01
Speaker 2: a bit of effort because you want to get it right.
18:03
Speaker 1: You want to get it right for so badly.
18:05
Speaker 2: So bad, And I want people in general to feel
18:08
Speaker 2: like there is nothing that defines them. You may find,
18:12
Speaker 2: you know, an unbelievable shirt from Jenny that you wear
18:16
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven, and you may find a coat
18:18
Speaker 2: for me that you wear once a month to like
18:20
Speaker 2: a fancy gathering. They both have a purpose in your closet.
18:24
Speaker 2: I want you to feel like your closet has purpose,
18:27
Speaker 2: has meaning, brings you joy. You don't feel confused when
18:30
Speaker 2: you open up the doors. You know that what you've
18:32
Speaker 2: chosen is for who you are right now, and that
18:35
Speaker 2: it all works together in you know, a simple way,
18:38
Speaker 2: not not anything that makes it too gr animals for
18:41
Speaker 2: grown ups is what I like to call it.
18:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, I need simplicity, Like there's enough. I have decision
18:47
Speaker 1: fatigue in so many other areas of my life. I
18:50
Speaker 1: need my clothing selections the first thing in the morning
18:53
Speaker 1: to be easy and you have that confidence that it's
18:56
Speaker 1: going to carry me throughout my day exactly.
18:59
Speaker 2: And I and the two things that I always say
19:01
Speaker 2: about that One, you don't have to change your whole
19:03
Speaker 2: style in midlife to decide that you know you want
19:05
Speaker 2: to look or feel different. Right. This could be about
19:08
Speaker 2: an accessory change. Look at our glasses, come on, shut
19:10
Speaker 2: up so chic? Right, So it could be that, or
19:14
Speaker 2: if you really are changing your style out. One of
19:17
Speaker 2: the things that I recommend is when you find an
19:19
Speaker 2: outfit that you feel great about, that you found, like
19:21
Speaker 2: I don't know, you know, a perfect leather pant and
19:23
Speaker 2: a perfect sweatshirt that goes with it. Put those together
19:27
Speaker 2: in your closet, hang them I always say, you have
19:30
Speaker 2: about ten outfits that you love on you right now,
19:34
Speaker 2: not a photograph from ten years ago, right now that
19:37
Speaker 2: you would wear either out to dinner, things that are
19:41
Speaker 2: for evening events, things that are for sporting events, things
19:43
Speaker 2: that are for casual events. Whatever it is. So that
19:46
Speaker 2: you have this closet that instead of just shirt, skirts, pants, tops. Yeah,
19:51
Speaker 2: you's got some way to organize it that allows you
19:54
Speaker 2: ease and motion in the morning where you're not stuck
19:57
Speaker 2: and you freeze in front of you know.
19:59
Speaker 1: All of us.
20:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it gives you the opportunity to create your closet.
20:03
Speaker 2: Literally start that way, maybe ten outfits, but eventually your
20:06
Speaker 2: whole closet can be that way for any season. I
20:09
Speaker 2: love this, just putting things together as outfits. And the
20:13
Speaker 2: other thing that I would say is be adventurous when
20:17
Speaker 2: it comes to who you're buying, right. I mean, I
20:19
Speaker 2: don't know how many clothing lines are on QBC, but
20:22
Speaker 2: if you're buying something from Jenny, try buying something for me.
20:25
Speaker 2: Try buying something from Parlor, Try buying something from Kim.
20:28
Speaker 2: And the reason I say that is because QBC is
20:31
Speaker 2: already curating its designers, so we're all there kind of
20:35
Speaker 2: in service of this bigger ideal closet. And I think
20:39
Speaker 2: that just trying one designer as opposed to at least
20:42
Speaker 2: trying a little bit from everybody, is a little playing
20:45
Speaker 2: it a little bit safe, and you can have a
20:47
Speaker 2: little bit more fun at this stage because you can
20:49
Speaker 2: trust yourself.
20:50
Speaker 1: Right. I love that idea because, yeah, standing in front
20:53
Speaker 1: of all the shirts and you're it's overwhelming too much,
20:57
Speaker 1: But there was this whole like, yeah, you got to
20:59
Speaker 1: put all your together, you got to put all your
21:01
Speaker 1: pants together and color coordinate them, and that it just
21:04
Speaker 1: leaves me feeling frustrated. So this idea of people of
21:08
Speaker 1: putting together outfits in your closet is genius. I'm gonna
21:11
Speaker 1: use that.
21:11
Speaker 2: Stacy London, Yes please, And I will tell you if
21:14
Speaker 2: you really get carried away. And I do this with
21:16
Speaker 2: some of my outfits. If I know I like to
21:19
Speaker 2: make the outfit, it needs this belt, it needs this earring,
21:22
Speaker 2: I'll just throw everything in a little ziploc bag, put
21:25
Speaker 2: it on a hangar, and I keep it with the outfit.
21:29
Speaker 2: It just saves me so much time.
21:31
Speaker 1: I think that's the stylist in you, like it is.
21:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely the styles to me, I love. The
21:35
Speaker 2: other thing that is a stylist formula for me is
21:38
Speaker 2: the same way you do food prep on Sunday, I
21:41
Speaker 2: do closet prep. So if I know that I've got
21:45
Speaker 2: a crazy busy week, like I have an event every
21:47
Speaker 2: night this week, I've got meetings in the city, I
21:50
Speaker 2: will put together my entire wardrobe for a week and
21:54
Speaker 2: not have to think about it again. Oh my god.
21:56
Speaker 1: Yeah.
21:56
Speaker 2: I don't always do everything. Maybe I leave the shoe
21:59
Speaker 2: for the last minute, or I throw on a big
22:00
Speaker 2: necklace when I'm walking out the door, But generally speaking,
22:03
Speaker 2: I just take a rack and I'm like, here's my
22:06
Speaker 2: seven days, here are the big things I need to do.
22:08
Speaker 2: Here's where I really got to impress. Here's where I'm
22:11
Speaker 2: going to be traveling. So I need something comfy, and
22:13
Speaker 2: that's how I do it. It Just to me, it
22:16
Speaker 2: makes it that much easier to get through the rest
22:18
Speaker 2: of your week if you spend a couple hours doing
22:19
Speaker 2: that on Sunday.
22:20
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Now I have to food prep on
22:22
Speaker 1: Sunday and closet prep.
22:25
Speaker 2: I know it really means that Sundays. So here's my feeling,
22:29
Speaker 2: you know, Sunday. A lot of people consider Sunday to
22:32
Speaker 2: be the day of rest. I like to think of
22:34
Speaker 2: it more as like passive activity, right, so you can
22:36
Speaker 2: these are not things that take a ton of energy.
22:39
Speaker 2: They just take a little bit of focus. Your food
22:42
Speaker 2: prep can be in the morning, your closet prep can
22:45
Speaker 2: be in the afternoon. By four o'clock, five o'clock, you
22:47
Speaker 2: can have your martini or whatever your beverage is and
22:50
Speaker 2: watch television. It does not have to like you know,
22:53
Speaker 2: I always say, right, what is it that funny line?
22:56
Speaker 2: Beyonce has twenty four hours in a day too, so
22:58
Speaker 2: you know, look, if she can do it, we can
23:00
Speaker 2: do it. And I just feel like it does not
23:02
Speaker 2: require the amount of work. If you do it ahead
23:06
Speaker 2: of time, you don't have the stress factor. You can
23:09
Speaker 2: do it at leisurely pace. You can put clothing together
23:12
Speaker 2: while food prepping. This is not like I mean, granted,
23:16
Speaker 2: if you're cooking anything with onions and garlic, maybe keep
23:18
Speaker 2: your food away from your clothes. But you have forth
23:22
Speaker 2: and make it. I hate to use this phrase, but
23:27
Speaker 2: a self care day in terms of managing both your
23:31
Speaker 2: time and the limitations on your time for things. As
23:35
Speaker 2: you were saying we have too many decisions to make
23:37
Speaker 2: during the week we do.
23:38
Speaker 1: Why do you not like the term self care?
23:41
Speaker 2: I feel like it's overused a little bit, and maybe
23:43
Speaker 2: perhaps in some ways is a little bit like, you know,
23:46
Speaker 2: a self care for me right now is not just
23:49
Speaker 2: about a bubble bath. Self care is checking in on
23:53
Speaker 2: my neighbors. Self care is calling my senators. Self care
23:57
Speaker 2: is like living in a world that I want to
23:59
Speaker 2: be in. And so sometimes I think that we use
24:02
Speaker 2: self care a little bit, almost too superficially, right, Like
24:06
Speaker 2: it's just about beauty, or it's just about clothing. And
24:09
Speaker 2: sometimes it's very hard for me to talk about clothes
24:11
Speaker 2: when I think about, you know, the state of the world,
24:14
Speaker 2: or you know, people going hungry or things like that.
24:16
Speaker 2: How do you think about these things? But the fact
24:20
Speaker 2: is that every single person's self esteem is affected when
24:26
Speaker 2: they dress in a way that makes them feel good.
24:28
Speaker 2: There's just no question, right, I mean, we know this
24:30
Speaker 2: to be true. And if that little bit means that
24:33
Speaker 2: you're going to be kinder to the person you hold
24:36
Speaker 2: the door for, or you're going to smile at somebody
24:39
Speaker 2: on the street, or you might even flirt because your
24:41
Speaker 2: hair looks so great, and you're wearing the perfect outfit
24:43
Speaker 2: whatever it is, that has a ripple effect. And so
24:48
Speaker 2: when people kind of get at me and they're like, uh,
24:50
Speaker 2: you know, the world is a mess. Who cares about clothes,
24:53
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, yeah, clothes can do.
24:56
Speaker 1: It's so true because it's it's true. When you look good,
25:00
Speaker 1: you feel better.
25:02
Speaker 2: Like I don't know, I feel better.
25:03
Speaker 1: You act nicer, You act nicer, you handle things differently,
25:07
Speaker 1: and also you have a greater sense of connection to
25:10
Speaker 1: who you truly are.
25:11
Speaker 2: I feel like, I think that's absolutely true, and you
25:15
Speaker 2: get people, the like minded people the ability to connect
25:18
Speaker 2: with you like, oh love that scarf. Love it. You know,
25:21
Speaker 2: it's a great entry way into finding your people. And
25:25
Speaker 2: so I think we forget sort of, you know, the
25:28
Speaker 2: sociological side of this. It's bigger than just like you know,
25:33
Speaker 2: invest well or or you know, look good for your
25:36
Speaker 2: age or any of these kind of things that I
25:38
Speaker 2: feel like sometimes are a little bit extractive rather than
25:42
Speaker 2: additive advice.
25:44
Speaker 1: When you think about it, though, we're really winning this game.
25:47
Speaker 1: I mean, do you remember the way women our aged
25:52
Speaker 1: looked like thirty or fifty years ago? It was so
25:55
Speaker 1: much different than the Golden Girls. They felt so old
25:59
Speaker 1: to me when I was watching, but actually they were
26:01
Speaker 1: our age change.
26:02
Speaker 2: I know. Listen, my blows my mind. It blows my mind.
26:05
Speaker 2: But I mean, thank god, this is why I'm convinced
26:08
Speaker 2: we all want long hair, because we cannot do that.
26:11
Speaker 2: Oh you cut your hair short at fifteen, it's like
26:14
Speaker 2: a mess. No, not doing it. I mean, I understand
26:16
Speaker 2: if your hair is thinning or if it's a pain
26:18
Speaker 2: in the ass to wash, I get it. But just generally,
26:21
Speaker 2: this idea that at a certain age you're supposed to
26:23
Speaker 2: cut your hair, I think we are completely rebelling against
26:25
Speaker 2: because those haircuts did no favors to those women.
26:28
Speaker 1: No, you don't have them.
26:30
Speaker 2: I a younger every times. Before that, my first interaction
26:36
Speaker 2: or understanding or acknowledgment of menopause was seeing Edith bunker
26:41
Speaker 2: yell at Archie and that's yeah, there's a change right
26:45
Speaker 2: in the seventies. And I remember thinking that she was
26:48
Speaker 2: in her seventies, but Jeans Sapleton was forty seven. I'm
26:53
Speaker 2: going to be fifty seven in May, and I'm shocked.
26:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's shocking, but it is what it is, Like
27:01
Speaker 1: we were saying before you can't really attach to that number.
27:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I do like the fact that people call
27:07
Speaker 2: it levels, you know, this joke about it instead of
27:10
Speaker 2: your age. You say like, I'm level fifty seven, which
27:12
Speaker 2: I'm friend totally down with. It feels like I'm winning
27:15
Speaker 2: the game.
27:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, the more you go, the better it is, exactly.
27:19
Speaker 1: I love that the higher the score you get. Yeah,
27:22
Speaker 1: because we've heard it all before. I mean I've even
27:24
Speaker 1: said it to one of my closest friends and we
27:26
Speaker 1: laughed about it. But honestly, I wish I could go
27:29
Speaker 1: back and change that conversation. You know, when you're when
27:32
Speaker 1: you're thinking like, oh, you're too old to have that
27:34
Speaker 1: long hair, or you're that's not age appropriate what you're wearing, whatever.
27:39
Speaker 1: How do you feel about those belief systems that have
27:42
Speaker 1: been in place for so many years?
27:45
Speaker 2: Well, I think the same way that I try to
27:48
Speaker 2: think about beliefs now, right, something just because we believe
27:51
Speaker 2: it doesn't make it true. And if anything, when I
27:55
Speaker 2: do have a sort of negative spiral in terms of
27:58
Speaker 2: self talk or beliefs, whatever that is, I think what
28:02
Speaker 2: age has done for me has allowed me to slow
28:06
Speaker 2: down and question whether or not that's a truth or
28:09
Speaker 2: a belief. If there's another way to do it, then
28:11
Speaker 2: it's just a belief, right. So for me, it's a
28:15
Speaker 2: good way to get myself out of that way of thinking,
28:17
Speaker 2: you're too old for this, your body sucks for this,
28:19
Speaker 2: you can't wear that, or whatever it is? What any
28:22
Speaker 2: kind of pejorative thinking. I really try to think, Well,
28:27
Speaker 2: I'm saying I can't wear this. Why am I saying
28:29
Speaker 2: I can't wear this? And I can't wear this because
28:31
Speaker 2: it makes me uncomfortable, I can't wear this because I
28:35
Speaker 2: hate my arms? What is it that I am saying?
28:38
Speaker 1: Or if you think about like of what other people
28:40
Speaker 1: will think why you wear something?
28:43
Speaker 2: And that's the other thing. I do think that at
28:45
Speaker 2: this stage of life, it's not just about not people pleasing.
28:48
Speaker 2: It's also like I don't give a shit what you think.
28:51
Speaker 2: In fact, what you think has nothing to do with me.
28:55
Speaker 2: It has zero to do with me. You go ahead
28:57
Speaker 2: and think all you want about.
28:59
Speaker 1: Me, Yes, dumb aboutself?
29:01
Speaker 2: What my life? Right? I mean, unless it's like obviously
29:04
Speaker 2: a very close friend, somebody who has constructive criticism, who
29:08
Speaker 2: loves you, wants to say, hey, maybe you want to
29:10
Speaker 2: think about this differently that I'm I'm always open to, right,
29:14
Speaker 2: but it's kind of this person thinks you're you know,
29:17
Speaker 2: doesn't like you, doesn't like what you do, doesn't fine,
29:20
Speaker 2: knock yourself out. That's your poison to swallow.
29:23
Speaker 1: That's none of my business, right, and ultimately it's it's
29:26
Speaker 1: not good for you. So right, you're not You're only
29:28
Speaker 1: harming yourself. Uh okay, So I just want you to know.
29:32
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever really articulated this to you,
29:34
Speaker 1: but I can remember spending countless hours with my girls
29:38
Speaker 1: all snuggled upon the couch together right after my divorce,
29:42
Speaker 1: and What Not to Wear was like our comfort food,
29:47
Speaker 1: and they're like core memories and so that will always
29:50
Speaker 1: have such a place in my heart. But you chose
29:53
Speaker 1: to team up with Clint again to do a reimagining
29:57
Speaker 1: of the old show. And I think that that, right
30:01
Speaker 1: there is changing the narrative. That's part of you changing
30:06
Speaker 1: the narrative. You doing, you know, your work to do that.
30:08
Speaker 1: How did you get to that choice of going in
30:11
Speaker 1: this capacity?
30:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, thank you. That's a great question and
30:15
Speaker 2: also one that I'm like so happy to answer because
30:18
Speaker 2: you know, there was a lot of stuff that went
30:20
Speaker 2: on right obviously there was like a huge brewhaha. I mean,
30:23
Speaker 2: this is why clickbait to me is so exhausting. But
30:27
Speaker 2: you know, there was like this huge thing. We had
30:29
Speaker 2: a huge feud and everybody found out about it, and
30:32
Speaker 2: it was like, oh, blah blah blah. First of all,
30:34
Speaker 2: it was not a huge food. It was something very personal,
30:37
Speaker 2: but it was something that did happen, and we really
30:39
Speaker 2: did have a period of estrangement, which I refused to
30:43
Speaker 2: acknowledge my part in it, right. I just was like,
30:47
Speaker 2: you know, he's the problem. There's no relationship in the
30:51
Speaker 2: world where one person is the problem. Like that's just
30:54
Speaker 2: the truth, okay. And the minute I could finally get
30:57
Speaker 2: to that, I think the moment I was like ready
31:00
Speaker 2: to look at my own behavior, look at my own actions,
31:04
Speaker 2: look at the way that he felt understand his point
31:07
Speaker 2: of view, and we really had to sit down and
31:10
Speaker 2: talk about it. This was way before we decided we
31:13
Speaker 2: were going to do the show together, and having had
31:16
Speaker 2: that conversation, not only did we realize a you know,
31:19
Speaker 2: we we were so happy to kind of just be
31:23
Speaker 2: reunited as friends, but also how much of our thinking
31:27
Speaker 2: was similar in the time that we hadn't been you
31:30
Speaker 2: know doing the show together. That we went from this
31:33
Speaker 2: you should you know hear? Are the rules right? To
31:36
Speaker 2: this kind of more expansive thinking of self expression that
31:40
Speaker 2: clearly has bearn out in terms of, you know, what
31:42
Speaker 2: we're looking at societally. And so it was wonderful to
31:46
Speaker 2: kind of be so close to somebody I sat next
31:49
Speaker 2: to him every day for ten years, like we were,
31:51
Speaker 2: you know, together more than most married couples, and then
31:54
Speaker 2: to have that separation to come back together with a
31:59
Speaker 2: kind of more expansive philosophy about fashion, and also to
32:04
Speaker 2: be so much sweeter and more expansive and of our
32:07
Speaker 2: understanding of each other. And so it was so delightful
32:11
Speaker 2: to do the show. And one of the reasons was
32:13
Speaker 2: because it just doesn't sit right with me anymore to
32:17
Speaker 2: be the one to tell you what to do. I'm
32:19
Speaker 2: happy to offer you opinions, but what makes your heart
32:23
Speaker 2: sing is all I care about. I don't have to
32:26
Speaker 2: like it, you have to like it. I have to
32:28
Speaker 2: get you to a place where your joy at looking
32:32
Speaker 2: in the mirror comes from that you have done the
32:35
Speaker 2: work to figure out exactly who and what you want
32:38
Speaker 2: to say about yourself.
32:46
Speaker 1: I was telling my daughter Fiona that you are coming
32:48
Speaker 1: on the show, because we remember watching the show so
32:51
Speaker 1: much together back in the day, and she was really excited,
32:55
Speaker 1: and I was telling her that it's your new show's
32:57
Speaker 1: called Where whatever the f you want to wear. It's
33:00
Speaker 1: just such a gorgeous like evolution. The the ability to
33:06
Speaker 1: let the evolution happen and to acknowledge like here's where
33:09
Speaker 1: I was, then here's where I am, now Here's where
33:12
Speaker 1: I want to be, you know, and connecting all that
33:15
Speaker 1: and not being ashamed of because honestly, she said to me,
33:19
Speaker 1: I really liked it when they got mad or told
33:22
Speaker 1: people they look bad, Like for us, we were like,
33:24
Speaker 1: oh yeah, that look's terrible.
33:26
Speaker 2: I know. Ifeople are like, what are you going to
33:28
Speaker 2: go back to being mean? And I'm like, you know,
33:30
Speaker 2: what mean is the new black. It's back. It's definitely back.
33:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's it's just a different it's framed a
33:37
Speaker 1: different way, so it's more powerful.
33:39
Speaker 2: Yeah. And also nobody really you know, it's fine. Look
33:43
Speaker 2: you want to have judgments or you want me to
33:44
Speaker 2: say something like, oh no, she didn't you know, like
33:47
Speaker 2: all of those jaw dropping moments. Yes, that was all
33:49
Speaker 2: for entertainment, obviously, but I do think that we get
33:54
Speaker 2: to a certain point where that's not helpful, right, I
33:56
Speaker 2: get to that. It's certainly the people that we that
34:00
Speaker 2: we were working with on where whatever the f you want,
34:02
Speaker 2: I mean, they really had a very clear idea of
34:06
Speaker 2: how they wanted to feel and what they wanted to
34:08
Speaker 2: look like, which is not what we did on What
34:11
Speaker 2: Not to Wear. We had more people that had given
34:14
Speaker 2: up on themselves or who really thought that making these
34:17
Speaker 2: crazy statements was somehow creating more buzz about them or
34:21
Speaker 2: getting them more.
34:21
Speaker 1: Attention, right, or protecting them or protecting them exactly.
34:24
Speaker 2: And I think, you know, we did a lot. It's
34:27
Speaker 2: not like we didn't need psychology on What Not to Wear?
34:30
Speaker 2: Of course we did. But now it really is this
34:32
Speaker 2: kind of front loading more information. Even with clients that
34:36
Speaker 2: I have in real life, it's more information on the
34:39
Speaker 2: front end before I put anything on you. I want
34:42
Speaker 2: to talk about everything that you feel like you is
34:45
Speaker 2: you love about yourself or about your style or what's
34:48
Speaker 2: in your closet, and everything that you don't relate to
34:51
Speaker 2: at all, everything that you don't like, everything that you
34:54
Speaker 2: wish you could change, all of the things. Because we
34:57
Speaker 2: have to be talking about the same thing in order
35:00
Speaker 2: for me to get you what you want, which requires
35:02
Speaker 2: like a lot of understanding and translating on my part
35:05
Speaker 2: to really get you to a place where the questions
35:08
Speaker 2: that you're asking yourself are specific to really what you
35:12
Speaker 2: want to, you know, do in terms of the way
35:14
Speaker 2: that you look and feel. And there's a lot of
35:16
Speaker 2: baggage there. So when people tell me something like I
35:19
Speaker 2: can't wear green, is that true or is that a belief? Well,
35:24
Speaker 2: chances are you don't think you can wear green because
35:26
Speaker 2: somebody either said you terrible in it, or your mother
35:29
Speaker 2: said no women in our family can wear green, or
35:32
Speaker 2: whatever it is that got stuck in your head. Guaranteed
35:34
Speaker 2: it wasn't.
35:35
Speaker 1: You right, It's not yours stick care right.
35:38
Speaker 2: And so it's like, how can we give you experience
35:40
Speaker 2: that allows you a different perspective.
35:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, to like pick what you want moving forward exactly.
35:47
Speaker 2: Most people don't know what they actually want. I don't
35:49
Speaker 2: think I know. Sometimes they want I'm like, do I
35:53
Speaker 2: like this or not? You know, you have to ask
35:55
Speaker 2: yourself these things. But that's the other thing I think
35:59
Speaker 2: being in me life, it's it's finally okay to be unsure.
36:04
Speaker 2: It's finally, okay, not to know. I don't say. I
36:08
Speaker 2: used to think I needed to be the smartest person
36:10
Speaker 2: in every room. I thought I had so much to prove.
36:13
Speaker 2: And now I'm not interested in being the smartest person
36:17
Speaker 2: in the room. If I'm not the dumbest, I want
36:18
Speaker 2: to be as close to the dumbest as possible, because
36:20
Speaker 2: I have so much to learn, but also because I'm
36:24
Speaker 2: curious about doing things differently. I'm curious about thinking about
36:30
Speaker 2: things differently. I'm curious about understanding more than one perspective
36:34
Speaker 2: in order to be able to relate to more people.
36:37
Speaker 2: That is incredibly important to me.
36:39
Speaker 1: I think that kind of goes with one of my
36:41
Speaker 1: last questions is that you talked about allowing yourself to
36:44
Speaker 1: be brave. What do you mean by allowing yourself to
36:47
Speaker 1: be brave? Is that similar or the same as choosing
36:50
Speaker 1: to be brave?
36:52
Speaker 2: Yes, Allowing to me is an active activity. It's not
36:56
Speaker 2: just like I'm lying here while I let things happen
36:59
Speaker 2: to me. Allowing is It actually takes quite a bit
37:06
Speaker 2: of effort, right, because being afraid is the easiest. I
37:10
Speaker 2: think fear and shame are the things They're both necessary
37:14
Speaker 2: emotions for lots of reasons, but they are the ones
37:16
Speaker 2: that can kind of take over and become out of
37:19
Speaker 2: control and then sort of guide all of our decision making,
37:22
Speaker 2: and that, to me is a big problem. When I
37:25
Speaker 2: look back on things that I didn't do or things
37:28
Speaker 2: that I didn't do well, I can almost always say
37:31
Speaker 2: it's because I was afraid and I didn't take the chance,
37:33
Speaker 2: or I was ashamed and I didn't say what I
37:36
Speaker 2: really wanted to say. And those are things that I
37:39
Speaker 2: try my hardest not to do now. Soar fear is
37:44
Speaker 2: there because sometimes things are dangerous and you have to
37:46
Speaker 2: know when they're dangerous to run away from them most
37:49
Speaker 2: of the time, right, But most of the time, fear
37:52
Speaker 2: extends to things that really are associations that we've made
37:56
Speaker 2: in our head that we can say, I'm afraid and
37:58
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it anyway, which is what bravery is.
38:02
Speaker 2: Bravery is not not having fear, because we absolutely have
38:07
Speaker 2: to have fear. And I do think that we are
38:10
Speaker 2: mostly afraid of things where we don't know the outcome.
38:13
Speaker 2: And that's also why I don't I don't love expectation.
38:18
Speaker 2: This idea that things have to turn out a certain
38:21
Speaker 2: way is always going to lead to disappointment.
38:23
Speaker 1: Right, But how can we even enter into the thought
38:26
Speaker 1: of thinking, I know how this is going to turn
38:28
Speaker 1: out like right.
38:30
Speaker 2: But how many times do we do that? How many
38:32
Speaker 2: times do we think we know for sure if we
38:35
Speaker 2: do this, then this will happen. If we say this,
38:37
Speaker 2: then this will happen. We already we make these predictions
38:40
Speaker 2: constantly without thinking about it, instead of saying, well, wait
38:43
Speaker 2: a second, is that what's really going to happen? Like, Okay, Granted,
38:47
Speaker 2: like if there is an open flame and I decide
38:50
Speaker 2: I'm going to put my hand over it, I'm probably
38:52
Speaker 2: going to burn my hand. That's more than one hundred
38:55
Speaker 2: percent likely in my opinion. Right. But if it's something
38:58
Speaker 2: about like if I decide I'm going to design this
39:00
Speaker 2: jacket and it's a little bit out of your comfort zone,
39:03
Speaker 2: it's a little bit out of everybody's comfort zone, it's
39:06
Speaker 2: going to fail. I don't know that for sure. You
39:09
Speaker 2: don't know that, and I don't know that it's going
39:11
Speaker 2: to succeed. But I won't know the answer to that
39:13
Speaker 2: until I try. And trying or at least acting even
39:18
Speaker 2: with fear, gives you. Right, people say you win or
39:21
Speaker 2: you learn. In my opinion. It's not even about winning
39:24
Speaker 2: or learning. It is that you just learn. It's not
39:27
Speaker 2: about winning or losing. Those are value judgments. Everything that
39:32
Speaker 2: we do in life is experienced, so what we take
39:34
Speaker 2: away from it informs our next experience, good or bad.
39:38
Speaker 1: Preach it, Stacy London, Oh my gosh, you are so
39:43
Speaker 1: such a great midlife advocate. I mean, because as I've
39:46
Speaker 1: gotten into my midlife, there's there's a few things that
39:49
Speaker 1: I rely on as the fact that I do I
39:52
Speaker 1: don't know anything, like I don't know anything, and that
39:58
Speaker 1: I have no control. We none of us have any
40:00
Speaker 1: control from moment to moment. So if you're in the headspace,
40:05
Speaker 1: you're kind of just like free to kind of go
40:09
Speaker 1: where life takes you and make the best of it.
40:12
Speaker 2: It's funny that you say that I kind of walked
40:15
Speaker 2: into twenty twenty six having left my home of twenty
40:20
Speaker 2: years that I never thought I was going to leave.
40:21
Speaker 2: I built it, I was like, this is it, this
40:24
Speaker 2: is my dream, and it just wasn't It was time
40:28
Speaker 2: to go in and of it. Yeah, it was very trying.
40:34
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like it was so exhausting to
40:36
Speaker 2: move after twenty years with all that stuff. And I
40:39
Speaker 2: had the state sale and I sold some of it
40:41
Speaker 2: and I auctioned some of it. I still have too
40:43
Speaker 2: much stuff. But what wound up happening was I got
40:47
Speaker 2: to my new place and I was so excited to
40:50
Speaker 2: decorate it and do all these things, and I just
40:52
Speaker 2: fell down. I just all I've been able to do
40:54
Speaker 2: the last couple of months is just be in this
40:57
Speaker 2: space and sleep.
40:58
Speaker 1: Uh huh allow yourself to do that. Yep, right.
41:02
Speaker 2: I was like, I just say goodbye to twenty years
41:05
Speaker 2: of my history. I can give myself two months before
41:08
Speaker 2: I buy a couch. It's not the end of the world, right.
41:10
Speaker 2: It always thinking everything has to be done immediately, right,
41:14
Speaker 2: And you see behind me, it's a wife and I
41:17
Speaker 2: have no art on the walls yet. Like there's a
41:19
Speaker 2: lot going on that I need to fix, but I
41:21
Speaker 2: just haven't been ready. And instead of beating myself up,
41:25
Speaker 2: I'm really I'm really just trying to sit in the
41:28
Speaker 2: experience and learn from it.
41:30
Speaker 1: I have moved into a house seven years ago and
41:34
Speaker 1: did nothing to it for six years because and I knew,
41:38
Speaker 1: like I was forming these ideas all over the over
41:40
Speaker 1: those years, like of what I wanted ultimately from my
41:43
Speaker 1: home and the feeling and the space, and now I've
41:46
Speaker 1: started to take action and it feels really good and right.
41:49
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have known if I hadn't sat in it
41:51
Speaker 1: and just experienced it. You are just like such a
41:55
Speaker 1: wealth of encouragement and positive messaging reality for people. I mean,
42:02
Speaker 1: you tell it like it is, which I love about you.
42:07
Speaker 2: Thank you, and.
42:08
Speaker 1: Just getting to know you a little bit better at
42:10
Speaker 1: QVC has been so fun. I always look forward to
42:14
Speaker 1: seeing you. So I have to ask you, though, Stacy London,
42:16
Speaker 1: what was your last I choose me moment?
42:19
Speaker 2: I choose me moment? I think my last I choose
42:22
Speaker 2: me a moment was recognizing that this year, this schedule
42:26
Speaker 2: is a lot more flexible than it was last year.
42:29
Speaker 2: And so a very good friend of mine, her dad
42:32
Speaker 2: passed away and she hasn't taken a vacation in three years,
42:35
Speaker 2: and I was like, good, we're going away and we
42:37
Speaker 2: leave February first, Oh my god. And I was like,
42:40
Speaker 2: I'm choosing us.
42:41
Speaker 1: I'm going tropical.
42:43
Speaker 2: Well, we're going to Portugal, so that's kind of tropical, right.
42:45
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that sounds so educational.
42:48
Speaker 2: I don't know a friend of mine who is a nomad.
42:51
Speaker 2: She lives all over the world and right now she's
42:53
Speaker 2: in Lisbon. I thought, you know what, I could sit
42:56
Speaker 2: home and stress about the fact that I'm not sure
42:58
Speaker 2: what I'm doing next. I could just go live life
43:01
Speaker 2: and learn something new.
43:03
Speaker 1: Yes, that's so freeing, that is so good.
43:06
Speaker 2: I'm so excited.
43:07
Speaker 1: Well, I've loved our talk and I know everybody listening.
43:10
Speaker 1: Well to Stacy London, I love you.