Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / Turning the Page To 2023 With Case Kenny, Mindfulness Expert & Podcast Host

Transcript

Turning the Page To 2023 With Case Kenny, Mindfulness Expert & Podcast Host · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: Even if you're like, well, I'm lost, I don't really
0:01
Speaker 1: have a goal, I don't have a purpose. That's fine,
0:04
Speaker 1: that's you know, it takes a long time to find
0:05
Speaker 1: those things. But I think you focus on the things
0:07
Speaker 1: you can control and you actually do them. I'm personally
0:11
Speaker 1: delusional optimist. I'm convinced they'll lead you to that thing.
0:14
Speaker 1: Are those things?
0:29
Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, EMILYA Badi here. You are listening to Hurdle,
0:33
Speaker 2: a wellness focused podcast. Reconnect with everyone from your favorite
0:36
Speaker 2: athletes to top experts and industry CEOs about their highest hies,
0:41
Speaker 2: toughest moments, and everything in between. We all go through
0:44
Speaker 2: hurdles in life, and my goal through these discussions is
0:47
Speaker 2: to empower you to better navigate yours and move with
0:50
Speaker 2: intention so that you can stride towards your own big
0:53
Speaker 2: potential and of course, have.
0:55
Speaker 3: Some fun along the way.
0:58
Speaker 2: We are back for our our fourth episode, Time flies
1:03
Speaker 2: when you're having fun in this week's Turning the Page series.
1:06
Speaker 2: The annual Turning the Page series is when I sit
1:10
Speaker 2: down with some of your favorite guests from the last
1:14
Speaker 2: three sixty five to chat about what lessons.
1:15
Speaker 3: They're bringing with them into the new year.
1:18
Speaker 2: Each guest gives us some highlights from their past year.
1:22
Speaker 2: They offer up a word they're focusing on in the
1:25
Speaker 2: new year, and then share some advice on how to
1:28
Speaker 2: move through the next fifty two weeks with grace and.
1:32
Speaker 3: A positive outlook.
1:34
Speaker 2: So far this week, I have chatted with Kira Demato,
1:38
Speaker 2: Minaje Das, and Kirsten Ferguson, and today I add Case Kenny,
1:44
Speaker 2: mindfulness expert and podcast host of the show New Mindset,
1:50
Speaker 2: who dis to the roster. You all loved him the
1:55
Speaker 2: first time he was on Hurdle, so I was ecstatic
1:58
Speaker 2: to reconnect with the super inspirational guy for this week's series.
2:05
Speaker 2: In today's episode, Case and I chat about his new
2:09
Speaker 2: life development in which he moved to Miami and what
2:13
Speaker 2: he has his mindset on no pun intended for the
2:17
Speaker 2: next year. We talk about the importance of establishing healthy boundaries,
2:22
Speaker 2: and we also chat about how all of us have
2:25
Speaker 2: the opportunity to define and shape what happiness looks for.
2:30
Speaker 3: Us as individuals.
2:33
Speaker 2: Case also talks about the importance of not getting way
2:37
Speaker 2: too settled into any one routine and offer some.
2:41
Speaker 3: Insight on habit formation that I know you are going
2:46
Speaker 3: to find pretty interesting.
2:47
Speaker 2: Loved again this convo, and I'm really appreciating all of
2:51
Speaker 2: your feedback on this week's series. I'd love to see
2:55
Speaker 2: you tag the show on Instagram if you are tuning in,
2:58
Speaker 2: share it with a friend, And while you're at it,
3:01
Speaker 2: make sure to read it in Apple Podcasts. If you
3:05
Speaker 2: aren't doing so yet, make sure you're following along with
3:07
Speaker 2: Hurdle over on social It's at Hurdle podcast. I myself
3:10
Speaker 2: am over at Emily a Body And if you are
3:13
Speaker 2: not yet subscribed to the Weekly Hurdle, the newsletter that
3:17
Speaker 2: comes out every single Friday, the link to do that
3:19
Speaker 2: is also in the show notes. With that, let's get
3:24
Speaker 2: to hurdling.
3:31
Speaker 3: Today.
3:31
Speaker 2: I am sitting back down with Case Kenny. He's a
3:34
Speaker 2: mindfulness expert and podcast host.
3:37
Speaker 3: How you doing.
3:38
Speaker 1: I'm amazing, How are you doing? Thanks for having me again.
3:41
Speaker 2: By the way, of course, I'm so happy to have
3:44
Speaker 2: you back here. I'm happy to be able to catch up.
3:46
Speaker 2: I know a lot has been going on in your world.
3:50
Speaker 2: How is Miami treating you?
3:52
Speaker 1: It's amazing. Yeah, I mean I've been here for like
3:55
Speaker 1: a week and a half, but it's just very surreal.
3:58
Speaker 1: Having grown up in the Midwest and then spent the
4:01
Speaker 1: past like twelve winters in the Midwest. It's just very
4:05
Speaker 1: weird to have a very warm, tropical winter. So so far,
4:09
Speaker 1: so good. It's making me very like motivated and energetic,
4:14
Speaker 1: which is different from anyone you ask in the Midwest
4:18
Speaker 1: how the winter makes you feel. So I'm very grateful.
4:22
Speaker 2: Well, catch us up to speed. Why Miami, what's been
4:26
Speaker 2: going on? Give us the four one one?
4:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I moved here with my girlfriend and basically,
4:33
Speaker 1: I mean basically for us for me, like it was
4:35
Speaker 1: the same mindset. It was like, you know, our leases
4:37
Speaker 1: were coming up in Chicago, Like we wanted new places anyway,
4:40
Speaker 1: and we were like, what is the opposite of Chicago
4:44
Speaker 1: that we could do, you know, for a temporary amount
4:47
Speaker 1: of time, definitely in Midwestern and I'll be back, but
4:50
Speaker 1: I wanted to see, like what would the opposite of
4:52
Speaker 1: Chicago be. I'm very big on like like mixing things up,
4:56
Speaker 1: and like the exercise I always like to do is like,
4:58
Speaker 1: what is the opposite of what I've been doing, What
5:00
Speaker 1: is the opposite of my routine, what is the opposite
5:02
Speaker 1: of how I've been thinking? And let's just try it.
5:04
Speaker 1: Let's just go for it and that landed on Miami.
5:08
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the opposite of Chicago in the
5:10
Speaker 1: winter at least. And yeah, that's pretty much it. We're
5:14
Speaker 1: fortunate to find a place down here that is really
5:16
Speaker 1: really nice on South Beach and was furnished and six
5:20
Speaker 1: month lease, so it was very it was perfect. And
5:24
Speaker 1: you know, I've coupled a bunch of other objectives while
5:27
Speaker 1: I'm down here, including finishing up my existing book, which
5:29
Speaker 1: is coming out in January, and then writing another one
5:32
Speaker 1: which is coming out late next year. So just feeling
5:35
Speaker 1: very energized to do something different and kind of do
5:38
Speaker 1: a nice reset and you know, at a time in
5:41
Speaker 1: life where I can and I'm grateful for that and
5:43
Speaker 1: I recognize that, and yeah, it just seemed like a
5:46
Speaker 1: really good opportunity. And we drove down here, so it
5:48
Speaker 1: was like a road trip. It was you know a
5:50
Speaker 1: lot of shocks to the system. I feel like COVID
5:52
Speaker 1: and you know, from twenty twenty to twenty twenty through
5:55
Speaker 1: today was kind of just the same, the same, the same.
5:58
Speaker 1: So this is a really good opportunity to just you know,
6:01
Speaker 1: do different.
6:02
Speaker 2: I love that exercise ask myself, what's the like complete
6:06
Speaker 2: opposite of whatever situation.
6:08
Speaker 3: I'm in right now.
6:09
Speaker 2: I also feel as though, I mean, I guess geographically
6:12
Speaker 2: it's a little bit more complicated, but to think about like,
6:17
Speaker 2: well why not now, Like why does something need to
6:19
Speaker 2: be how it is just because it's always been this way?
6:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's the ultimate question. I mean, the
6:24
Speaker 1: idea of the opposite. I actually have a whole chapter
6:27
Speaker 1: in my new book and it's something I talk a
6:28
Speaker 1: lot about on the podcast. It's actually I actually stole
6:32
Speaker 1: the idea from Seinfeld. If you watch Seinfeld. It was
6:35
Speaker 1: basically this thing where George was like frustrated with his life.
6:39
Speaker 1: He's like, man, I just feel like I'm doing the
6:40
Speaker 1: same thing and it's not really working. I have all
6:42
Speaker 1: these goals and these things, and it's just not working.
6:45
Speaker 1: And he was like, if every thought I've had to
6:47
Speaker 1: date has been wrong, maybe then the opposite would be right.
6:51
Speaker 1: And then he starts just being absurd. He would he'd
6:53
Speaker 1: walk up to women and be like, Hi, my name's George.
6:55
Speaker 1: I'm unemployed and I live with my parents. And it
6:57
Speaker 1: like started to work for him, kind of like absurd,
7:00
Speaker 1: absurdest humor and the fact that you know, he has
7:04
Speaker 1: conditioned himself just to be wrong about everything, and you know,
7:07
Speaker 1: the opposite, no matter how absurd or outlandish or you know,
7:11
Speaker 1: just weird, turns out to be right for him. And
7:13
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not saying that myself or anyone in
7:15
Speaker 1: general who has found themselves in routine or habit or
7:18
Speaker 1: comfort is wrong, but I just think there's always value
7:22
Speaker 1: in questioning that. And you know, questioning certainty. I think
7:27
Speaker 1: the idea of certainty is is good in life. Is
7:29
Speaker 1: great to go out and find clarity and certainty, but
7:32
Speaker 1: it could also be dangerous if you accept it for
7:34
Speaker 1: long enough, then you lull yourself into a pattern and
7:36
Speaker 1: then you wake up four years later and you're like, oh, man,
7:40
Speaker 1: I've been I've been sitting in this in this comfort.
7:42
Speaker 1: So you know, for me, it's always just you know,
7:44
Speaker 1: a good gut check of like, am I continuing to
7:47
Speaker 1: go along a path that is growing me, that is
7:49
Speaker 1: challenging me, that is introducing new things into my life,
7:52
Speaker 1: that is enabling me to be curious. And if the
7:55
Speaker 1: answer is no, then I think, yeah, let's find some
7:57
Speaker 1: ways to introduce some new variables. I don't always suggest
8:00
Speaker 1: packing up, moving across the country, but I think there's
8:02
Speaker 1: many different ways, and you know, for myself, it just
8:05
Speaker 1: presented an opportunity to do that in a somewhat big
8:08
Speaker 1: way for myself. And you know, it feels good. It
8:11
Speaker 1: feels good. You know, it's a privilege to be able
8:12
Speaker 1: to do that, of course, but I think it's always
8:15
Speaker 1: it's always a good idea to challenge yourself on what
8:17
Speaker 1: you know to be true and do it yearly. I
8:19
Speaker 1: mean we're at the end of the year right now.
8:20
Speaker 1: Now is a great time to do an exercise like that.
8:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, definitely.
8:25
Speaker 2: I you know, when we when we take a look
8:28
Speaker 2: back at twenty twenty two, and can I tell you
8:32
Speaker 2: at the tournament New Year, I am always like.
8:34
Speaker 3: Are we going to twenty four? Are we on twenty three?
8:36
Speaker 3: Like what's happening here?
8:38
Speaker 2: But when you look back the past three sixty five,
8:41
Speaker 2: what would you say some of the biggest lessons you
8:44
Speaker 2: learned have been It's.
8:46
Speaker 1: The ultimate self help topic, right about how we assign
8:49
Speaker 1: our life's happiness to external goals and validation. Right we say, oh,
8:54
Speaker 1: I'll be happy once I have a partner. I'll be
8:56
Speaker 1: happy once I earn one hundred thousand dollars, I'll be
8:58
Speaker 1: happy once I'm Forbes dittering under thirty, Like, we set
9:01
Speaker 1: these external goals, which are good goals, of course, but
9:03
Speaker 1: then we align our internal happiness to that goal. And
9:07
Speaker 1: it's the ultimate human trap, right where we're looking at
9:09
Speaker 1: achievement in success, and we're correlating that to our ability
9:13
Speaker 1: to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be at peace,
9:16
Speaker 1: whatever our inner goal is. And you know, I think
9:18
Speaker 1: I learned this year that if that's the case, and
9:21
Speaker 1: you allow yourself to do that, you can potentially always
9:25
Speaker 1: be waiting. You could always always be waiting, because what
9:28
Speaker 1: we naturally do is we just move the finish line.
9:30
Speaker 1: Once you earn one hundred thousand dollars, well, then you
9:32
Speaker 1: start having one hundred thousand dollars problems, which means you
9:35
Speaker 1: need to make two hundred thousand and so on and
9:36
Speaker 1: so forth. Once you find your partner, well then it's
9:38
Speaker 1: about getting engaged, and then it's about getting married, and
9:40
Speaker 1: then it's about kids and so on and so forth.
9:42
Speaker 1: We're always going to set another goal that will then
9:45
Speaker 1: align our happiness to. And I've just realized, you know,
9:48
Speaker 1: I'm never one to say that, you know, happiness is
9:51
Speaker 1: a choice that feels rather cold and not empathetic to
9:56
Speaker 1: you know, life that can be unfair to certain people.
9:58
Speaker 1: So I I don't want to say that, but I
10:01
Speaker 1: have learned that there's a certain practicality to deciding I
10:04
Speaker 1: have everything I need right now to be happy. And
10:06
Speaker 1: I realized that this year, and I've just really challenged
10:09
Speaker 1: myself to say, what do I need to be happy?
10:11
Speaker 1: And do I have it? And then the majority of circumstances,
10:14
Speaker 1: it's yes, I do have it. And I'm just very
10:16
Speaker 1: motivated by the idea of I don't ever want to
10:20
Speaker 1: look back and say, like, I spent too long waiting
10:23
Speaker 1: to decide to be happy. And I just realized that
10:26
Speaker 1: this year. You know, we've got a lot more control
10:28
Speaker 1: in our inner life than we assume because we're so
10:32
Speaker 1: inclined to attach it to our outer life. And you know,
10:35
Speaker 1: I've spent a lot of time this year being intentional
10:37
Speaker 1: about saying I have everything I need to be happy.
10:40
Speaker 1: And here's why. You call that gratitude whatever you want,
10:42
Speaker 1: but that was a big lesson for me this.
10:44
Speaker 3: Year, definitely.
10:46
Speaker 2: And you said before, you know, author working on finishing
10:50
Speaker 2: book one then starting book two, how does it make
10:53
Speaker 2: you feel to be at this point in your life
10:55
Speaker 2: where this is a you know, part of the multi
10:59
Speaker 2: hyphen it right.
11:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's wild too, because I mean, I up
11:04
Speaker 1: until this time last year, so it's been a full
11:07
Speaker 1: year now, I worked a job I worked for almost
11:11
Speaker 1: ten years in advertising and sales, and that was my reality.
11:15
Speaker 1: That was, you know, that is how you define yourself,
11:18
Speaker 1: the ability to be a good salesperson. I was a
11:20
Speaker 1: regional sales vice president at an advertising technology company. That
11:24
Speaker 1: was how I defined myself. It's it's I'm still wrapping
11:27
Speaker 1: my head around the fact that I get to make
11:29
Speaker 1: a living from what's in my heart and soul and
11:33
Speaker 1: creative output. And you know, for me, that's writing books,
11:37
Speaker 1: it's creating music, it's making a products, it's it's writing,
11:40
Speaker 1: it's creating. And it's a wild world to say that's truly,
11:44
Speaker 1: and it's such a departure from how I used to
11:46
Speaker 1: think of how I look viewed success and fulfillment. So
11:51
Speaker 1: it's amazing. It's amazing to be like, all right, what
11:53
Speaker 1: am I going to do today? And it's something creative,
11:56
Speaker 1: like what a gift. It's not like oh I got
11:58
Speaker 1: to do this P and L spreadsheet or I got
11:59
Speaker 1: to make ten cold calls like I've done that, and
12:02
Speaker 1: I have so much respect for that, But I get
12:04
Speaker 1: to do the opposite of that now and it's a
12:06
Speaker 1: crazy privilege and it's so very fulfilling.
12:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, for someone who may find themselves in this new
12:15
Speaker 2: year going through a period of transition, maybe it is
12:19
Speaker 2: within a job or a career move, or perhaps they
12:22
Speaker 2: too are looking to relocate to a new city.
12:26
Speaker 3: You talked about how we identify.
12:28
Speaker 2: What advice would you have to anyone who finds themselves
12:32
Speaker 2: in that big period of transition?
12:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you know, I talk a lot about
12:38
Speaker 1: like what my motivation is in life and how it's
12:41
Speaker 1: kind of evolved. Like I used to be someone you say, like,
12:45
Speaker 1: what do you want in life? Case? And I would say,
12:46
Speaker 1: I just want to be happy. And I think that's
12:48
Speaker 1: a great goal, but it's it could be a very
12:51
Speaker 1: confusing goal because what is happiness? How do you control happiness?
12:55
Speaker 1: You can't. Happiness is the ultimate random thing in life.
12:59
Speaker 1: It's so many variables at play, and you can make
13:01
Speaker 1: the decision to our previous point to be happy, but
13:04
Speaker 1: ultimately there's a lot of things that are out of
13:07
Speaker 1: your control that prevent you from being happy. So I've
13:09
Speaker 1: kind of switched my goal in life from I want
13:11
Speaker 1: to be happy to I want to be proud of myself.
13:14
Speaker 1: That's big for me, and that's something I can always control.
13:17
Speaker 1: Right The way that you say you're proud of yourself
13:19
Speaker 1: or not is likely about what you're willing to try.
13:22
Speaker 1: It's not always the result. It's certainly part of it,
13:25
Speaker 1: but in most cases you're proud of yourself for the
13:27
Speaker 1: effort you put forth and hopefully it gives you the
13:30
Speaker 1: result you want. But ultimately that's that point of proof,
13:33
Speaker 1: which is your willingness to try. So I'm very focused
13:36
Speaker 1: on that, and I think when it comes to transitions
13:38
Speaker 1: in life, it's the ultimate time to push yourself to
13:41
Speaker 1: be uncomfortable, to be awkward, to be weird through the
13:44
Speaker 1: lens of am I proud of myself in this moment,
13:47
Speaker 1: and then you can take it a step further. I'm
13:49
Speaker 1: very motivated by the idea of regret in life, not
13:52
Speaker 1: as something to run from or be afraid of, but
13:55
Speaker 1: you know, it's this thing that you can never change.
13:57
Speaker 1: So the exercise that I encourage a lot of people
14:00
Speaker 1: to do is to look at yourself and say, what
14:02
Speaker 1: don't I want to regret. If you're in that period
14:04
Speaker 1: of transition, it's amazing. That means opportunity, That means you
14:08
Speaker 1: can go left if you've been going right, and vice versa,
14:10
Speaker 1: it's amazing. Might be a good time to say, what
14:12
Speaker 1: don't I want to regret? Verbalize that as best you can,
14:15
Speaker 1: and then start doing actions that align with it, actions
14:18
Speaker 1: that make you proud of yourself. And I think that
14:20
Speaker 1: transition will be really well served because you're you're really
14:23
Speaker 1: getting to the core of what makes you insert adjective there, happy, fulfilled,
14:28
Speaker 1: at peace, confident, whatever it is that you're trying to pursue.
14:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, although you're you know, now in this place where
14:36
Speaker 2: you get to wake up every day and be creative,
14:38
Speaker 2: you really feel like you're you know, following your passions
14:41
Speaker 2: and designing this life. What would you say has been
14:45
Speaker 2: one of the most difficult hurdles that you've had to
14:48
Speaker 2: overcome in twenty twenty two?
14:52
Speaker 1: Man, I mean, I will say not to harp on
14:56
Speaker 1: the practicality of you know, quitting a job, but that
14:59
Speaker 1: has been and that has been a big just mentality difference,
15:03
Speaker 1: Like not only did I quit a job, but I
15:05
Speaker 1: quit a career. You know, I left behind a decade
15:08
Speaker 1: of building my network and rolodex and skill sets and
15:13
Speaker 1: you know, I let a team and all that kind
15:14
Speaker 1: of stuff, So I left that behind. But you know,
15:17
Speaker 1: switching from you know, corporate person to solo preneur, artists, creative,
15:23
Speaker 1: whatever however you like to refer to yourself, it's it's
15:25
Speaker 1: a big mentality switch. You know, there's a lot more
15:28
Speaker 1: pressure associated with it. There's no guaranteed paycheck, there's nothing's guaranteed.
15:32
Speaker 1: Your ability to achieve is based on your ability to achieve.
15:37
Speaker 1: And you know, thet think about, you know, the corporate world.
15:41
Speaker 1: You hear things like quiet quitting. It's because it's easy
15:45
Speaker 1: to make a living, get paid, you know, feel decent
15:47
Speaker 1: about yourself and not really stress yourself out. But when
15:50
Speaker 1: it comes to switching to something that is inherently one
15:53
Speaker 1: on one, solo preneur or you know, that is the
15:57
Speaker 1: that comes from your heart and your soul and your
15:59
Speaker 1: ability to be created, it's just a different type of pressure.
16:02
Speaker 1: And I welcome it and I love it, but it's
16:03
Speaker 1: just different. It's very I would say, it's much more rewarding,
16:07
Speaker 1: but there's also a lot of pressure on yourself. And
16:09
Speaker 1: it took me about the first eight months of this
16:11
Speaker 1: year to really wrap my head around that and not
16:13
Speaker 1: beat myself up when I have a bad day or
16:15
Speaker 1: a bad month, or I don't achieve something that I
16:17
Speaker 1: wanted and not think that, oh I made the wrong
16:20
Speaker 1: choice or something like that. So I'm robbing, you know,
16:24
Speaker 1: still evolving through that, but it's just been a big
16:26
Speaker 1: mentality shift. But at the end of the day, it's
16:28
Speaker 1: just show me that the power that we all have
16:31
Speaker 1: to set a goal to move towards it, to feel doubt,
16:34
Speaker 1: but to move forward anyway despite that feeling. And you know,
16:39
Speaker 1: I'm proud of myself for that, in line with what
16:41
Speaker 1: we're talking about.
16:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I'll never forget probably in the first
16:46
Speaker 2: year or so when I went out on my own
16:49
Speaker 2: and I was freelancing. This is before I had even
16:51
Speaker 2: started the show, but I remember being in the back
16:53
Speaker 2: of my friend's jeep going to the Hamptons and thinking
16:56
Speaker 2: to myself, like, if these checks that were supposed to
16:58
Speaker 2: be here last week don't hit my bank account within
17:01
Speaker 2: like the next forty eight hours, Like I'm not entirely
17:04
Speaker 2: sure how I'm going to pay my rent.
17:07
Speaker 3: And I'll never forget about that.
17:08
Speaker 2: Like pit in my stomach feeling because I knew that
17:11
Speaker 2: I never wanted to experience it ever again. So these
17:15
Speaker 2: hardships and these kind of like awakening moments, they help
17:19
Speaker 2: us figure out how to become a better version of ourselves.
17:23
Speaker 2: Do you have any hurdle moments, so to speak, from
17:26
Speaker 2: this past year that comes to mind when you think
17:29
Speaker 2: about the lessons that you have been learning as a solopreneur.
17:34
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean, I it's been a whirlwin the past
17:39
Speaker 1: two years and then this past year in particular. I
17:42
Speaker 1: mean I made some business mistakes this past year for sure.
17:46
Speaker 1: Like I started a brand this past year, which was
17:51
Speaker 1: it was a candle brand, and I'm still very proud
17:53
Speaker 1: of it, unbothered dot Com. And you know, a lot
17:57
Speaker 1: went into it. I never launched a candle before, never
17:59
Speaker 1: made you factured a campbell before, and I learned a lot.
18:03
Speaker 1: You know, it kind of missed the mark as far
18:05
Speaker 1: as business metrics go. And you realize you sink you know,
18:09
Speaker 1: six figures into something. You know, you can't just snap
18:11
Speaker 1: your fingers and get your money back. And I and
18:14
Speaker 1: I learned that the hard way. I learned a lot
18:16
Speaker 1: about like e commerce and and you know, business building
18:18
Speaker 1: and inventory and and all all the things that I
18:21
Speaker 1: didn't really have experience with before that I learned firsthand.
18:24
Speaker 1: And you know it's easy. It's you make a mistake
18:27
Speaker 1: at work, you don't close a deal at your sales job.
18:29
Speaker 1: You know, you get up and you go to the
18:30
Speaker 1: next one, no harm, no foul, because you've got people
18:32
Speaker 1: backing you, and you know you've got you've got that job.
18:35
Speaker 1: But you know, you sink money into something that doesn't work.
18:37
Speaker 1: You know, it's not like you just move on to
18:39
Speaker 1: the next one. You need to figure out how to
18:41
Speaker 1: pivot and and do things right. And yeah, and I
18:44
Speaker 1: think I think I've also learned a lot. It's you know,
18:46
Speaker 1: when it comes to solopreneuring and creatorship and authorship, you're
18:50
Speaker 1: always building for the future. Like I started writing this
18:53
Speaker 1: book that I'm releasing in January, I started writing this
18:56
Speaker 1: back in April this past year. So you know, it's
18:59
Speaker 1: a it's an eight month saga before you see a
19:02
Speaker 1: single cent when it comes to income. And you've just
19:05
Speaker 1: really got to learn to believe in yourself. And that's
19:07
Speaker 1: a struggle for me, even though I'm the guy who
19:09
Speaker 1: talks a lot about confidence and self esteem and things
19:11
Speaker 1: like that. I feel the imposter syndrome rear its head
19:15
Speaker 1: all day every day, and especially in the face of
19:18
Speaker 1: you know, you've got to build a product, you've got
19:20
Speaker 1: to build a book, You've got to build something for
19:23
Speaker 1: months before you see the ROI on it, and you know,
19:27
Speaker 1: I've accepted that. And there's periods of time to your
19:30
Speaker 1: point where you're like, oh, man, if I don't get
19:32
Speaker 1: this or I don't get that, I don't know what
19:33
Speaker 1: I'm going to do. But you know that doubt is
19:35
Speaker 1: part of the game. And you know, I really like
19:37
Speaker 1: the word despite because you could feel all those things,
19:40
Speaker 1: but you move forward despite it, and that's always a reason,
19:43
Speaker 1: you know, to be proud of yourself. It's a reason
19:44
Speaker 1: that I'm proud of myself for continuing to move forward.
19:47
Speaker 2: In those moments when you don't feel so shiny and
19:50
Speaker 2: you are like trying to think long term, how do
19:54
Speaker 2: you keep showing up and stay of off burnout?
19:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great question because I'm not great at it.
20:00
Speaker 1: If I'm honest, I'm always always working. And it's like
20:04
Speaker 1: even this book that I'm I'm done with now because
20:07
Speaker 1: it's coming out in you know, four weeks, I'm already
20:10
Speaker 1: moving on to the next one, and I don't have to.
20:13
Speaker 1: I really don't have to. I should probably chill. So
20:16
Speaker 1: I don't have a great answer. I'm working on that.
20:19
Speaker 1: I'm working on, trying to find a better balance. You know.
20:22
Speaker 1: The thing that does give me some respite from that,
20:25
Speaker 1: certainly is the ability to practice gratitude in journaling. That's
20:30
Speaker 1: a big way that I could actually kind of audit
20:32
Speaker 1: my life and instead of always focusing on the things
20:34
Speaker 1: that I lack or the things that I'm building towards,
20:38
Speaker 1: doing an inventory of what I have accomplished. I've done
20:40
Speaker 1: some great things this year, certainly, certainly amidst the things
20:43
Speaker 1: that I haven't achieved yet. So I think trying to
20:45
Speaker 1: remind myself of that space of what I've gained, of
20:48
Speaker 1: what I've learned, of how I've grown. Reminding myself of
20:52
Speaker 1: that does take some of the pressure off and be like,
20:54
Speaker 1: you know what, I can take today off, I can
20:55
Speaker 1: take the week off, you know, I can. I can
20:58
Speaker 1: still accomplish what I want to do, and a bit
21:00
Speaker 1: kinder and gentler to myself. So I think that'll always
21:03
Speaker 1: be a struggle for me. I think it's a struggle
21:05
Speaker 1: for anyone who is type or you know, has that
21:08
Speaker 1: kind of hustle mentality. But I think balance, finding a
21:11
Speaker 1: balance that works for you is is the key to
21:15
Speaker 1: you know, not suffering burnout. But I think it's probably
21:18
Speaker 1: the ultimate relatable topic for anyone who is creative or
21:21
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur.
21:23
Speaker 2: Yeah for for that tip, to reflect on some of
21:27
Speaker 2: your other wins from the year, I feel like that's
21:29
Speaker 2: probably something that many of us may struggle with making
21:33
Speaker 2: the time for right, Especially in the heat of a
21:36
Speaker 2: moment when things aren't going as you'd hoped, it's easy
21:39
Speaker 2: just to let that negative talk sink in so to
21:43
Speaker 2: get to a point where you're like, Okay, things might
21:45
Speaker 2: not be going as I want them to at this moment,
21:48
Speaker 2: but like, let's just take a beat and remember like
21:50
Speaker 2: I am capable. I did X and Y, and I
21:53
Speaker 2: am better for doing those things.
21:56
Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's it's a gratitude exercise to do that.
21:58
Speaker 1: And also, like I find a lot of power in
22:02
Speaker 1: like mindful logic, Like we're very quick to be like,
22:06
Speaker 1: oh man, things aren't going well, Like oh boy, like
22:08
Speaker 1: I am approaching a cliff or something like that, right,
22:11
Speaker 1: because we're very aware of like failures and missteps and delays. Right,
22:15
Speaker 1: it's very easy to be like, you know, point those
22:17
Speaker 1: things out, and you know, we can very easily say, man,
22:20
Speaker 1: things were going well and now they're not going well,
22:23
Speaker 1: and it's very easy to find evidence to support that.
22:25
Speaker 1: And if but if that's the case, why can't we
22:27
Speaker 1: also apply the same logic in a very optimistic manner
22:31
Speaker 1: to the flip side of that, That is, if, like
22:33
Speaker 1: I do this exercise a lot of that. If life
22:34
Speaker 1: can go from one hundred to zero very quickly, right,
22:37
Speaker 1: life can go from being in a relationship to being
22:39
Speaker 1: broken up with to selling a ton of books to
22:42
Speaker 1: not selling any books, right, one hundred to zero. If
22:45
Speaker 1: we know that that is true, and we have proof
22:47
Speaker 1: of that, why can't we believe that we could also
22:49
Speaker 1: go from zero to one hundred just as fast. You know,
22:52
Speaker 1: who's to say that tomorrow can't be the day where
22:53
Speaker 1: you meet someone new, where you finally kickstart new you know,
22:57
Speaker 1: new sales, where you come up with a brilliant idea.
23:00
Speaker 1: Like that type of logical optimism is what keeps me
23:03
Speaker 1: in the game when those negative moments creep up. And
23:06
Speaker 1: it's logically based because we could find we got to
23:09
Speaker 1: push ourselves, but we could find evidence to support both.
23:11
Speaker 1: We could find evidence that says, here's where life has
23:13
Speaker 1: gone from good to bad. We could also find evidence
23:16
Speaker 1: that says, here's where life went from bad to good,
23:18
Speaker 1: and why can't we focus on that instead of the
23:20
Speaker 1: negative thoughts which are normal, which are natural. So I
23:24
Speaker 1: find a lot of power and an exercise like that.
23:30
Speaker 2: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you
23:33
Speaker 2: about the sponsors for this series.
23:36
Speaker 3: First up, Whoop January is here.
23:41
Speaker 2: Which means that most of you out there have just
23:43
Speaker 2: started working on some sort of goal for twenty twenty three.
23:47
Speaker 3: Personally.
23:48
Speaker 2: In my toolbox are a lot of things, but one
23:51
Speaker 2: of my favorites is my Whoop Now. Whoop is a
23:54
Speaker 2: fitness tracker that monitors all the conventional fitness metrics you'd expect,
23:58
Speaker 2: but alsoizes in tracking personalized recovery and sleep data. Think
24:04
Speaker 2: of it as a coach on your wrist, providing you
24:07
Speaker 2: with detail the breakdowns of your sleep and recovery, along
24:10
Speaker 2: with how you can improve both. It also suggests personalized
24:14
Speaker 2: daily activity levels based on that recovery. Plus, Woop just
24:18
Speaker 2: added a new feature called Trends, where you're able to
24:21
Speaker 2: see the progress you're making on a weekly and monthly basis.
24:25
Speaker 2: Whether you're looking to get in shape, improve your recovery,
24:28
Speaker 2: or sleep or something else. Woop makes it super simple
24:31
Speaker 2: to track your progress even during those moments where you
24:34
Speaker 2: get a little bit discouraged. And trust me, we all
24:38
Speaker 2: do start tracking your health, wellness and fitness at a
24:41
Speaker 2: deeper level today. Head on over to join a dot
24:44
Speaker 2: whoop dot com slash Emily a body to try whoop
24:48
Speaker 2: out risk free for thirty days, all for just the
24:51
Speaker 2: price of shipping again. Head on over to join dot
24:55
Speaker 2: whoop dot com slash Emily a body to get whoop
24:59
Speaker 2: free for thirty days. Also, got to give some love
25:02
Speaker 2: to my friends at Future i gosh. I cannot imagine
25:08
Speaker 2: my life right now without future.
25:11
Speaker 3: Future is a.
25:11
Speaker 2: New way to get fully customized personal training that revolves
25:16
Speaker 2: around you. No matter what gets you moving, you'll find
25:19
Speaker 2: the guidance, a motivation, and accountability to push beyond your
25:23
Speaker 2: comfort zone thanks to help from a trusted copilot. Now
25:29
Speaker 2: that copilot is your trainer, your trainer offering you one
25:33
Speaker 2: on one personal training without the one hour time limit
25:37
Speaker 2: and strict schedule. Whether you need tips on sleeping well
25:40
Speaker 2: the night before a race, or nutrition advice after setting
25:43
Speaker 2: a new chest press pr say that three times fast.
25:48
Speaker 2: Your coach is ready to create a competitive edge wherever
25:51
Speaker 2: and whenever you're focused on fitness, and it all happens
25:55
Speaker 2: through the Future app. It literally could not be easier.
25:59
Speaker 2: Start your thirty day risk free trial of Future today.
26:02
Speaker 2: Just head on over to try Future dot com slash
26:05
Speaker 2: Hurdle again. That address is try Future dot Com slash Hurdle.
26:12
Speaker 2: Personal training made modern only on Future. When you look
26:26
Speaker 2: back on the past three sixty five, have you adopted
26:31
Speaker 2: any new habits or routines that have really served you?
26:36
Speaker 1: Actually random ones that I'm still trying to figure out,
26:41
Speaker 1: Like what the big, large, big picture impact has been like,
26:46
Speaker 1: for one, finishing what I start. I've always been pretty
26:49
Speaker 1: bad at like starting a bunch of things and then
26:51
Speaker 1: not finishing them. And then also this sounds really silly,
26:54
Speaker 1: but like not eating all my food, like leaving like
26:57
Speaker 1: a little bit behind. And I don't know what it
27:00
Speaker 1: was about that, but this past year I was like,
27:01
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous. Like if I'm gonna, you know, eat a
27:04
Speaker 1: salad or eat a meal, I'm gonna eat the whole thing.
27:08
Speaker 1: And I just started to do that and it's been
27:10
Speaker 1: a it's been helpful mentality wise. And I don't know,
27:14
Speaker 1: it's such a weird thing, and I don't know why
27:15
Speaker 1: I thought of that on the spot, but you know,
27:17
Speaker 1: you think about like where pride comes from and self
27:20
Speaker 1: esteem comes from. It comes from doing the things you
27:22
Speaker 1: say you're going to do, or at least acknowledging why
27:26
Speaker 1: you're changing your mind or why you're pivoting. You certainly
27:28
Speaker 1: don't need to start everything you finish that the greatest
27:30
Speaker 1: ability in life is to decide you no longer want
27:33
Speaker 1: to do that, but actually addressing that and holding yourself
27:36
Speaker 1: accountable for it. And I think this past year, I
27:39
Speaker 1: think maybe it was, you know, moving in a direction
27:42
Speaker 1: of quitting my job and doing this. It just like
27:43
Speaker 1: supercharged my accountability for myself, which now that I've leaned
27:48
Speaker 1: into it has kind of supercharged my self esteem and
27:50
Speaker 1: my confidence because I hold myself accountable and I do
27:53
Speaker 1: what I say I'm going to do, even if it's awkward,
27:55
Speaker 1: even if it's embarrassing, whatever it is, And it's just
27:58
Speaker 1: really helped me lean into discomfort. Maybe that's what I've
28:01
Speaker 1: taken from this past year. But yeah, I would say
28:04
Speaker 1: that's been really helpful for me.
28:06
Speaker 2: Have you tried to adopt another habit or routine that
28:11
Speaker 2: you just couldn't make stick.
28:14
Speaker 1: I mean I've tried to be a morning person for years.
28:16
Speaker 1: I've just never never had it work. But may I
28:21
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe Miami it'll be helpful. There's something about
28:24
Speaker 1: trying to wake up early in Chicago that is just
28:26
Speaker 1: like it's not biologically possible. Yeah, I'd struggle with that one.
28:32
Speaker 2: Especially in the winter. Yeah, I mean talk about a
28:35
Speaker 2: major difference here. We're talking opposite. It's Chicago and Miami.
28:38
Speaker 2: I'd say that if there's a chance that you could
28:40
Speaker 2: be a morning person anywhere, it probably is where you
28:43
Speaker 2: are now exactly.
28:44
Speaker 1: Yeah. If you could do it here, you know you
28:46
Speaker 1: could do it here. Yeah, So maybe that maybe that'll
28:48
Speaker 1: be my goal. Actually I made it my intention this week.
28:50
Speaker 1: I was going to sit down and really start thinking
28:51
Speaker 1: about the new year and goals to set because I
28:54
Speaker 1: was actually I have I brought with me my notepad
28:57
Speaker 1: that I wrote goals on from last year, and I
29:00
Speaker 1: always fall short of the goals that I set for myself.
29:03
Speaker 1: I always set them really really monstrously high, and I
29:06
Speaker 1: usually do that on purpose, not to like disappoint myself,
29:08
Speaker 1: but just to like really think big. So I was
29:11
Speaker 1: looking forward to later this week, the sitting down seeing
29:13
Speaker 1: where I fell short, but then doing what we're describing
29:16
Speaker 1: here of doing the flip side of that and showing
29:18
Speaker 1: myself where I did show up and using that to,
29:21
Speaker 1: you know, continue to show myself the value of discomfort
29:24
Speaker 1: and falling short and staying motivated. I think my biggest fear,
29:28
Speaker 1: alongside of what I referenced earlier and regret, is like
29:31
Speaker 1: I never want to get comfortable, like I want to
29:33
Speaker 1: be at peace. I don't want to be that person
29:35
Speaker 1: who is never satisfied. But I think, you know, getting
29:38
Speaker 1: too comfortable. I call that living in the gray of life,
29:41
Speaker 1: which is where you're just kind of going through the motions.
29:44
Speaker 1: I never want to do that. I always want to
29:45
Speaker 1: find a way to push myself, even if it has
29:47
Speaker 1: nothing to do with business. It could be, you know,
29:49
Speaker 1: I got really competitive this year about you know, rowing
29:51
Speaker 1: on the ERG and what I could do in a
29:53
Speaker 1: one k, just random things, and you know, I want
29:55
Speaker 1: to set more goals for myself like that.
29:57
Speaker 2: When it comes to goal setting, you brought up this,
29:59
Speaker 2: and obviously turn of the New year a tot time
30:02
Speaker 2: talk about it. Maybe not a best practice tip is
30:05
Speaker 2: like setting goals that are so big that you doubt
30:07
Speaker 2: that you can accomplish them. But what advice would you
30:10
Speaker 2: bring into the mix for anyone else setting goals now
30:14
Speaker 2: for twenty twenty three.
30:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like a bespoke case, Kenny One. Not everyone
30:19
Speaker 1: responds to the same.
30:20
Speaker 3: Kind of I don't hate it. I don't hate it.
30:22
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's practical advice for everyone, but yeah, I.
30:25
Speaker 3: Admire the h I admire the passion and drive there.
30:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I'm I respond really well to like
30:30
Speaker 1: tough guy talk, like come on, like that kind of stuff.
30:32
Speaker 1: Not everyone does, so totally recognize that. I don't know.
30:35
Speaker 1: I mean I would just say in general, like we
30:37
Speaker 1: need a why behind goals, Like why are you setting
30:41
Speaker 1: that certain goal? Why is it your goal? Is it
30:43
Speaker 1: someone else's goal? Are you setting it because you saw
30:46
Speaker 1: someone else do it and they're happy or they appear happy,
30:48
Speaker 1: and therefore you want to emulate their happiness. I suppose
30:51
Speaker 1: that's fine. I mean, like, who are we to you know,
30:54
Speaker 1: you know, not follow suit from someone else or not
30:57
Speaker 1: be inspired by someone else. But I think it really
30:59
Speaker 1: behooves us when we set a goal to have a
31:01
Speaker 1: strong why behind that goal. Why are we striving for
31:04
Speaker 1: that thing? Where? How does it speak to us on
31:07
Speaker 1: an individual level? I think that's really really important. I mean,
31:11
Speaker 1: you talk to anyone you need a why in general
31:14
Speaker 1: in life the power of why, of course, but I
31:17
Speaker 1: think practically when it comes to goals, goals that might
31:20
Speaker 1: be driven by metrics or numbers or accomplishments, cut and
31:23
Speaker 1: dry things, we need a why behind it to keep going.
31:26
Speaker 1: Otherwise we're just borrowing someone else's goal and then maybe
31:30
Speaker 1: we accomplish it and we're like, well, this didn't really
31:32
Speaker 1: offer me much in the way of happiness, fulfillment, whatever
31:36
Speaker 1: adjective it is. So I think it really benefits us
31:39
Speaker 1: to do that. One of the exercises that I really
31:43
Speaker 1: recommend people do is I caught an exercise of I'm
31:46
Speaker 1: the kind of person who and instead of setting you know,
31:49
Speaker 1: arbitrary goals like I want to be confident, successful, happy,
31:53
Speaker 1: you describe yourself with verb statements I'm the kind of
31:55
Speaker 1: person who blank, and you complete them with verb statements
31:59
Speaker 1: that would make you happy fulfilled, confident, like I'm the
32:02
Speaker 1: kind of person who does what they say they're going
32:04
Speaker 1: to do. I'm the first kind of person who volunteers
32:06
Speaker 1: to go first, so on and so forth. Set goals
32:08
Speaker 1: like that, or at least use language to describe yourself
32:11
Speaker 1: in that way, and I find that to be much
32:13
Speaker 1: more personal and gives you a why or you know,
32:16
Speaker 1: empowers you to find a why as opposed to just
32:19
Speaker 1: you know, setting goals because it's what you see on
32:21
Speaker 1: the internet or it's what you see other people doing.
32:23
Speaker 2: I love that because think of it like I'm the
32:26
Speaker 2: kind of person who volunteers to go first. It's like
32:28
Speaker 2: you can follow that up and ask yourself, like, what
32:31
Speaker 2: how would that make you feel if that's the kind
32:33
Speaker 2: of person that you were right, So being able to
32:35
Speaker 2: bring feeling into that so that you can truly envision
32:38
Speaker 2: what it would feel like, what it would be like
32:40
Speaker 2: to be the kind of person that you're imagining yourself
32:43
Speaker 2: to be.
32:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Yeah, I mean a visualization exercise like that,
32:47
Speaker 1: for one, is really helpful because it gets past the
32:50
Speaker 1: superficial how does it make you feel? Why is that
32:52
Speaker 1: feeling important to you? How does that feeling evolve? You,
32:56
Speaker 1: so on and so forth. And I think it helps
32:58
Speaker 1: take your power back because in setting goals like I
33:02
Speaker 1: want to be happy, you're gonna that life is going
33:05
Speaker 1: to threaten that goal massively. How do we come back
33:08
Speaker 1: to a place where where where we don't allow randomness
33:11
Speaker 1: and bad luck and you know, ill intent people threaten
33:14
Speaker 1: that when we come back to our power, that's our
33:16
Speaker 1: ability to volunteer, to go first, to show up on time,
33:19
Speaker 1: to do the little things, to embrace awkwardness, so on and
33:21
Speaker 1: so forth. And you know, we're talking a lot about
33:23
Speaker 1: the theme here of pride and willingness and discomfort, and
33:27
Speaker 1: those are all things that we can control. And I
33:29
Speaker 1: think our goals should reflect that amidst goals where we
33:32
Speaker 1: just you know, throw our hands to the wind and say,
33:35
Speaker 1: all right, I'm just going to go for this. But
33:37
Speaker 1: I think doing that allows you to really hone in
33:39
Speaker 1: on the feelings that are important to you. And I
33:41
Speaker 1: think even if you're like, well, I'm lost, I don't
33:43
Speaker 1: really have a goal, I don't have a purpose. That's fine,
33:46
Speaker 1: that's you know, it takes a long time to find
33:47
Speaker 1: those things. But I think you focus on the things
33:49
Speaker 1: you can control, and you actually do them. I'm personally
33:53
Speaker 1: delusional optimist, but I'm convinced they'll lead you to that thing.
33:56
Speaker 1: Are those things?
33:57
Speaker 2: Focus on the things that you can control A lot
34:00
Speaker 2: a lot of the time in your writing and on
34:02
Speaker 2: social media, you touch a lot on the concept of boundaries.
34:06
Speaker 2: For someone whose goal in twenty three is to be
34:09
Speaker 2: better at upkeeping their boundaries, what advice do you have
34:14
Speaker 2: for them?
34:15
Speaker 1: Oh? Boy? I mean, I would just come back to
34:17
Speaker 1: the one word that I think is the enemy of boundaries,
34:20
Speaker 1: and that's disappointment. Right. The reason that we throw our
34:24
Speaker 1: boundaries to the win, we let people mistreat us, walk
34:27
Speaker 1: over us, whatever. It is not necessarily big bad words,
34:31
Speaker 1: but just situations where we don't have those boundaries in
34:34
Speaker 1: places because we don't want to disappoint people. You know,
34:36
Speaker 1: maybe we're people pleasers, Maybe we don't like confrontation, maybe
34:39
Speaker 1: we don't like awkwardness. Who does? But I think we
34:43
Speaker 1: need to realize the power of disappointing people. I know
34:47
Speaker 1: it sounds weird that I'm like, you got to go
34:49
Speaker 1: out and disappoint people, But I think about growth in life,
34:52
Speaker 1: and frankly, I think about the idea of like show
34:54
Speaker 1: me the receipts right receipts, or didn't happen if you're
34:58
Speaker 1: not disappointing people. Occasionally in life, I struggle to really
35:02
Speaker 1: see your growth, Right, I think about my life, like
35:05
Speaker 1: the times where I've grown. I'm like, man, I grew
35:07
Speaker 1: through that, Like that was a clear example of how
35:10
Speaker 1: I grew. It was times where I had to let
35:12
Speaker 1: someone down or disappoint someone, whether that was you know,
35:15
Speaker 1: a relationship with someone or a business partner or a
35:18
Speaker 1: friend or something like that. We need to stand up
35:20
Speaker 1: for ourselves. We can say no and still be a kind, loving,
35:24
Speaker 1: compassionate person. And I think sometime the key to being like,
35:28
Speaker 1: all right, I'm just going to do this. I'm going
35:29
Speaker 1: to do this even though it's awkward, even though it's confrontational,
35:31
Speaker 1: is realizing that there's power and disappointing other people and
35:35
Speaker 1: it's beneficial for both of you. Right, you know, standing
35:37
Speaker 1: up for yourself means you're standing up for yourself, but
35:39
Speaker 1: it also means you're being honest with someone else. You're
35:41
Speaker 1: not biting your tongue because you want to avoid awkwardness.
35:45
Speaker 1: So I would say that just like try to like
35:47
Speaker 1: close your eyes and zoom out and see the value
35:50
Speaker 1: of a boundary, and don't you know, shy away from
35:55
Speaker 1: the verb which is necessary, which is disappointment, And maybe,
35:58
Speaker 1: you know, try to put yourself in a position to
36:00
Speaker 1: really see the upside of it compassionately, both for you
36:03
Speaker 1: and whoever you might have to disappoint in your life.
36:06
Speaker 2: So powerful that concept of knowing that saying no one
36:11
Speaker 2: time doesn't make you a bad person, I think, again
36:15
Speaker 2: echoing your sentiments here about disappointment, we just, you know,
36:18
Speaker 2: we want to do the best that we can in
36:20
Speaker 2: our life to seek and pursue happiness.
36:23
Speaker 3: And probably if you're a good person, you know not
36:25
Speaker 3: upset others.
36:26
Speaker 2: So knowing that saying no does not firmly make you
36:31
Speaker 2: a bad person, And that's a hard lesson to learn,
36:33
Speaker 2: but once you got it, you'll likely be able to
36:36
Speaker 2: better own the power of your own no.
36:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, no is such a and it's a
36:42
Speaker 1: powerful word to exactly what you said, and it's always
36:45
Speaker 1: going to be accompanied by self doubt. Oh man, maybe
36:48
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have said no. What if I didn't say no?
36:50
Speaker 1: So on and so forth. But again, coming back to
36:52
Speaker 1: the theme that keeps popping up your pride, If you
36:55
Speaker 1: ever say no and it was awkward or embarrassing or confrontational,
37:00
Speaker 1: it probably means you did the right thing, because if
37:03
Speaker 1: it wasn't, that means you're staying in a comfort zone.
37:05
Speaker 1: And we know where comfort zones can lead you. So again,
37:08
Speaker 1: just trying to rewire ourselves to see the value of
37:11
Speaker 1: discomfort and see that as a foundation for being proud
37:14
Speaker 1: of yourself and our goal. I really do think our
37:16
Speaker 1: goal should be proud of ourselves. And even if we're
37:18
Speaker 1: proud of ourselves, but we still have other things that
37:20
Speaker 1: we don't know. I think the more you hone in
37:23
Speaker 1: on doing things, saying things that make you proud of yourself,
37:27
Speaker 1: the more those other things are going to start to
37:29
Speaker 1: become more clear. You know, I think the puzzle pieces
37:32
Speaker 1: will come together.
37:33
Speaker 3: What are you most looking forward to in the new year?
37:36
Speaker 1: Ooh, I would say, I mean practically writing, like I've
37:41
Speaker 1: just fallen in love with the process, and you know,
37:43
Speaker 1: my ability to do that, I've kind of you know
37:45
Speaker 1: this the past couple of years, I was really on
37:47
Speaker 1: the edge of who's case Kenny. Is he an entrepreneur?
37:50
Speaker 1: Is he an author? Is he an influencer? And the
37:53
Speaker 1: answer is I just want to write, and I just want
37:55
Speaker 1: to share my love of certain topics with people, and
37:58
Speaker 1: also music. I'm leaning more into music for this coming year,
38:01
Speaker 1: so i'd say just the ability just to really be
38:05
Speaker 1: one hundred percent creative case and to really optimize optimize
38:09
Speaker 1: my life around that, and to do it in a
38:12
Speaker 1: in a beautiful environment. I'm very very much looking forward
38:16
Speaker 1: to continuing to do that.
38:19
Speaker 3: Love that.
38:20
Speaker 2: All Right, We've got a couple of rapid fires before
38:23
Speaker 2: I ask you the final question. We good here, yes,
38:25
Speaker 2: so let's do it. First favorite movie of twenty two The.
38:29
Speaker 1: Only movie I saw, Okay, the only movie I saw
38:31
Speaker 1: in theaters this year was that new murder mystery The
38:34
Speaker 1: Onion with Daniel Craig that was in theaters. I saw
38:37
Speaker 1: it over over Thanksgiving break with my brother, so I'll
38:39
Speaker 1: say that.
38:41
Speaker 3: It was seeing.
38:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was good. I mean, I like a good
38:44
Speaker 1: murder mystery and it was clever and I got to
38:46
Speaker 1: see you with my brother and that was nice bonding experience.
38:48
Speaker 1: What a cheesy yetser. But yeah, I'm like, I don't
38:51
Speaker 1: really like do a whole lot of Netflix and stuff,
38:53
Speaker 1: so which is good? But yeah, say solid movie?
38:56
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, favorite podcast you added to your rotation this
39:00
Speaker 2: year that isn't yours.
39:03
Speaker 1: I do have an answer for that one. I would
39:05
Speaker 1: say the this is random coming for me because you
39:09
Speaker 1: would think that I would say, like self development. I
39:11
Speaker 1: like listening to Andrew Schultz and the Flagrant podcast. It's
39:15
Speaker 1: just a bunch of comedians chopping it up, but I
39:17
Speaker 1: really like it because you have these guys who are comedians.
39:20
Speaker 1: They are there to roast each other and talk shit
39:22
Speaker 1: and not be serious. But it's really cool to see
39:25
Speaker 1: their ability to get serious amidst not being serious. And
39:28
Speaker 1: they're men too, and they can get really sensitive and real.
39:31
Speaker 1: So I just really like it. It just really inspires me that,
39:34
Speaker 1: you know, there's many sides to men, and you could
39:37
Speaker 1: be an emotional, loving dude and also you know, you know,
39:42
Speaker 1: you can be in touch with your feelings and also
39:43
Speaker 1: be a man man and a masculine man. So I
39:45
Speaker 1: really like that podcast.
39:46
Speaker 2: Any favorite personal podcast episodes that you'd recommend to someone
39:51
Speaker 2: who may be new to yours.
39:53
Speaker 1: Well, I'm on episode four fifty one, so I've certainly
39:57
Speaker 1: done a bunch of this here.
39:58
Speaker 3: I don't know.
39:58
Speaker 1: I would say listen to episode four four hundred. That
40:00
Speaker 1: was kind of my like recap for the year, and
40:03
Speaker 1: I basically talked about how I'm leaning into how my
40:06
Speaker 1: life feels instead of how it looks kind of similar
40:09
Speaker 1: to what we're talking about here, and you know, it's
40:11
Speaker 1: a topic I'm very passionate about. It's episode four.
40:13
Speaker 3: Hundred, Episode four hundred.
40:15
Speaker 2: Okay, do you have a favorite meal from the last year,
40:18
Speaker 2: either because the meal was absolutely delicious or the environment
40:21
Speaker 2: slash company was outstanding?
40:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, I mean, I would say very specifically,
40:27
Speaker 1: there's a restaurant in Chicago called Sunda, which is a
40:29
Speaker 1: you know, it's a sushi fusion place, and I'm a
40:32
Speaker 1: very simple eater. I'm like a mashed potatoes Midwesterner, but
40:37
Speaker 1: there's something special about that place. Like I've had so
40:39
Speaker 1: many like firsts there, like from getting into sales and
40:43
Speaker 1: taking clients there at my thirtieth birthday to all these
40:45
Speaker 1: different things, and it's always just been a meal that
40:49
Speaker 1: reminds me of like friendship and growth in those things.
40:54
Speaker 1: It's just the smell of it. Anytime I smell that smell,
40:56
Speaker 1: like it just takes me back, very nostalgic. So I
40:59
Speaker 1: would say that would say that in particular that restaurant
41:02
Speaker 1: that answers.
41:03
Speaker 3: Your question totally totally.
41:05
Speaker 2: And then lastly, any like favorite online or in person
41:10
Speaker 2: interactions this year that really stand out there.
41:13
Speaker 1: This is just a random one that maybe answers the question.
41:16
Speaker 1: I was walking. I previously when I was in Chicago,
41:18
Speaker 1: I'd walked around a ton. I live downtown. I would
41:20
Speaker 1: take a lot of my little quotes around downtown Chicago
41:23
Speaker 1: on Whacker Drive. I would listen to music and just
41:25
Speaker 1: walk around kind of as a as a wellness tactic,
41:28
Speaker 1: but also just to get pictures and whatnot. And this
41:30
Speaker 1: one time this past year, I was walking and this
41:32
Speaker 1: woman passed me and she didn't say anything. She just
41:35
Speaker 1: waved at me and held up her phone to me,
41:38
Speaker 1: and she was listening to my podcast as I walked
41:40
Speaker 1: by her. And I just thought that was a really
41:42
Speaker 1: cool moment, particularly in Chicago where I have a you know,
41:45
Speaker 1: a large following, But it was just cool to see
41:48
Speaker 1: the like to see real life in digital converge. I
41:51
Speaker 1: think it's very easy to you know, sit online and
41:54
Speaker 1: make content and do this and do that and kind
41:56
Speaker 1: of disconnect yourself from reality. But it's cool. It's so
41:59
Speaker 1: cool to see my ability or anyone's ability to create
42:02
Speaker 1: something of value online and see it get out into
42:05
Speaker 1: the real world and have people you know, truly benefit
42:09
Speaker 1: from it. So I would say that experience and then,
42:11
Speaker 1: you know, definitely over the past year, I remember I
42:13
Speaker 1: did get one rather startling DM from someone who you know,
42:17
Speaker 1: they were sharing their life story and talking about how
42:20
Speaker 1: you know, they were on the verge of like hurting
42:21
Speaker 1: themselves and you know, having these thoughts, and they listened
42:23
Speaker 1: to my podcast and something I said at random and
42:26
Speaker 1: offhand comment they you know, they said it saved their life,
42:29
Speaker 1: which crazy absurd thing to over hear. But I think
42:32
Speaker 1: it just shows the value not of me. It's not
42:34
Speaker 1: about me, just the value that we all have as
42:37
Speaker 1: regular people to share what's helped us, and we never
42:40
Speaker 1: know how it could help someone else, even if we
42:43
Speaker 1: think it's such a basic thing, you never know how
42:45
Speaker 1: it could help someone else. So, you know, it really
42:48
Speaker 1: just inspired me to see the way that our words
42:51
Speaker 1: to our fellow humans can be helpful, or not just helpful,
42:55
Speaker 1: but life changing in a positive way. So say, between
42:58
Speaker 1: those two human those two digit to human interactions, we're
43:01
Speaker 1: just really inspiring for me.
43:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, And to that point, what you're saying. You never
43:06
Speaker 2: know the timing of what you're saying. It could totally
43:09
Speaker 2: be something that I've said to myself a thousand times before,
43:13
Speaker 2: but to hear someone else say it at just that
43:15
Speaker 2: right time can totally make all of the difference.
43:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I'm not afraid of a good cliche nowadays,
43:21
Speaker 1: because I used to be like, oh, I can't say
43:23
Speaker 1: you know a certain cliche in the podcast, But now
43:25
Speaker 1: I realized that there's truth behind cliche. And sometimes to
43:28
Speaker 1: your exact point, you've heard it, you've heard it thirty times,
43:32
Speaker 1: but that thirty first time you're like whoa, and something
43:34
Speaker 1: clicks and it could be the same for someone else.
43:36
Speaker 1: So I really believe.
43:38
Speaker 2: In that final question here case right now, you have
43:41
Speaker 2: an opportunity, knowing what you know, to offer yourself a
43:44
Speaker 2: piece of advice. At the beginning of twenty twenty two,
43:50
Speaker 2: what do you tell yourself?
43:53
Speaker 1: I would say, in line with what I'm really excited
43:56
Speaker 1: to release next year, is just this idea of labels
43:59
Speaker 1: we can and not give ourselves labels that are unfair
44:03
Speaker 1: to us. That a label like too loud, too quiet,
44:07
Speaker 1: to this, to that those are labels that we have
44:10
Speaker 1: conditioned ourselves to think are accurate for us, but they
44:13
Speaker 1: really are not. And I think the second that we
44:15
Speaker 1: can learn to not give ourselves those labels is the
44:20
Speaker 1: second that we could actually truly step into what makes
44:22
Speaker 1: us great. You know, if we're like, oh, I'm too loud,
44:24
Speaker 1: I'm too extra, I'm to this, I'm to that, that's
44:28
Speaker 1: not our true selves speaking. That is fear of being judged.
44:33
Speaker 1: That's whatever we've learned in the media. That's pain that
44:36
Speaker 1: was given to us in the past. And I think
44:38
Speaker 1: words are so powerful. And the second that we just
44:41
Speaker 1: arbitrarily and as reaction robots assign labels to ourselves, that's
44:46
Speaker 1: the second we start to like dull who we really
44:48
Speaker 1: are and live in the gray. And I just think
44:51
Speaker 1: it really benefits us moving into the new year, just
44:53
Speaker 1: blank slate with the labels we give ourselves, both in
44:57
Speaker 1: our inner life and in our life, what label we
45:00
Speaker 1: think other people are going to give us. And I
45:02
Speaker 1: think if we can learn to push back on those,
45:04
Speaker 1: we can really lean into what makes us great. I
45:07
Speaker 1: used to think I was too sensitive, right, like, who's
45:09
Speaker 1: this guy writing quotes about love on the internet? But
45:12
Speaker 1: I've leaned into and I realized that's my superpower. But
45:15
Speaker 1: if I leaned into that label that I was tempted
45:17
Speaker 1: to give myself that people have given me, I never
45:20
Speaker 1: would have gotten to this place. And it's just a word.
45:22
Speaker 1: It's just one word, and we do it so often.
45:24
Speaker 1: So I would just really encourage people, myself included, to
45:27
Speaker 1: push back on those words, those labels, and give ourselves
45:31
Speaker 1: ones that are more accurate that really give us credit
45:33
Speaker 1: for who we are and what we're capable.
45:35
Speaker 3: Of, push back on the labels.
45:38
Speaker 2: Case so happy that we were able to reconnect again
45:41
Speaker 2: for the show. Tell us how do the hurdlers follow
45:44
Speaker 2: along with you? What's the name of your upcoming book?
45:46
Speaker 2: We want all the info.
45:48
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. This is a great time. Frankly,
45:51
Speaker 1: it kind of kickstarted my own thinking about the new
45:53
Speaker 1: year and looking back. So I appreciate it. Emily, Yeah,
45:57
Speaker 1: so I mean for me in case dot canan Instagram
45:59
Speaker 1: you mindset whodas podcast. The name of the book is
46:04
Speaker 1: That's Bold of You and it's coming out in January.
46:07
Speaker 1: It's a book about being bold shocker. So very excited
46:10
Speaker 1: for that, and thank you so much.
46:12
Speaker 2: I'm am I'm over at Hurdle Podcast and at EMILYA. Boddi,
46:15
Speaker 2: another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.