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Lessons - What Is Money Trauma? | Ken Honda - Japan's #1 Money Psychology Expert · Success Story with Scott Clary

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  In this lessons episode, discover how deep-seated money trauma from childhood shapes financial
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  decisions and limits potential. Learn why healing these early wounds is essential for personal
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  and professional growth and understand how forgiveness and compassion at reflection can transform
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  your relationship with money.
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  You're known as one of the names you go by is the Zen millionaire. Zen is obviously very important
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  to you and very meaningful in this whole framework of asking these thoughtful questions that require
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  you to think deeper and go be at the go below the surface. If you would help somebody understand
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  maybe why Zen is important but more than Zen, the concept of asking questions to help you look
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  at the world in a different way and maybe a better way, explain that and help people understand
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  the questions they should be asking themselves that could unlock a different view towards money,
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  towards wealth, towards success, even like an exercise somebody could do right now that is in a
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  really dark place. Right, so you know every once in a while we fall into this dark place that
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  nothing works and then people's around us seem to be very cold or indifferent or sometimes mean.
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  It's because our world or in a world is made of anger, resentment and frustration and that
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  will be protected out. So when you are having a hard time or just struggling, you have to breathe in
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  deep and then relax and you can have a different life. But in order to do that you have to
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  take a look at your life in a totally different way. The reason why you have financial issues for
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  example is that you're making too little and spending too much and you're in the wrong place.
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  But if you just find your own reserved seat which means that if you find a good environment
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  to lift you up, you will do well. You happen to be in a bad place at the bad timing.
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  So you have to find who you are and what you're good at and if you do more of what you're good at,
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  you get promoted, you get paid well and you get moved to a place where people respect you,
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  love you and appreciate you. So you have to find the right place for you. It takes time,
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  sometimes it takes a few years but it's okay because life is a fun trip or process to find
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  your best place, find your best partner, find your best friends and you can surround them with the
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  people that you care about. So it doesn't really matter where you're stopped. Entrance is not the
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  most important place. Exit is very important. Where you end up is more important because it doesn't
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  really matter if you're just a junior high school dropout or Harvard graduate school graduate
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  because what you end up doing it means a lot more so for example you can give instead of what you
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  have done or you're having done. I love that. That's very important. That's so, so important and
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  you speak actually about you go a step further in terms of what we believe is true and
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  and how we look at the world when you go back to childhood and you speak about money trauma because
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  you speak about the perception of money and how basically it's scarred us and like the money wounds
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  that we have as a child. So we have these money wounds as a child and I would love for you to
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  explain that but then we also have the school we went to, the friends we have, the degree that we
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  did or didn't get. We have all these things that impact how we see the world and so many people
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  have this hard time breaking out of I would say you know after 25 years old our view of the world
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  for most people doesn't change too too much that's what's the sad thing about it. They just
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  all these learned experiences make them see the world a certain way and some people do the work
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  and try and sort of break out of this shell that their parents have molded them into and that
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  you know school high school and university and college have molded them into but a lot of people
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  don't and I think that that's what actually hurts a significant amount of people and it really
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  inhibits their potential but this is besides the point I want to go back to money wounds,
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  money trauma because the rest of what I'm talking about is really just like your experience
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  professionally and academically that impacts how you perceive yourself but what is this money trauma
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  that I've never heard of this before but I'm really excited to understand like what it means
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  for the jobs I take on the the the the risks in terms of investment the things that I spend money
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  on the the companies I want to start so how does this play into it. So I remember whatever I hear
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  word birthday present I remember my seventh year birthday you know I think I was thinking I'm
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  already an adult so I wanted to have a mountain bike you know it's a very expensive you know
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  very stylish one and I thought it's cool you know I'm grown up enough and my parents said
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  that's too expensive and I was so hurt you know I I'm not worth it you know that he then meant
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  that you're too early for that and they're they're they're right because I cut my forehead here
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  and here because of the bike accident afterwards after my parents parents sometimes know best
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  but I know but at the time I feel like I'm on worthy of this expensive gift you know I'm a cheap
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  boy is what I what I what I thought and then I was denied a few times later on when I was 14 15
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  there was this homestay program to LA Los Angeles or a mayor born in in Australia I wanted to
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  learn English but by then my father was a heavy alcoholic so I talked to my mother and she said
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  okay when you when your father is a good mood is in the good mood talk about your homestay
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  uh and I sighed because in my home that means never in home my mother my father is never in the good mood
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  so that means I forget it right so I just had to brochure ready when I find my father is even
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  in a little bit better mood and when he's in good mood I was going to and then pitch my
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  homestay program for him but he never happened because if I did my father get gets angry
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  at me or my mom and he could get obviously right so I still remember on the day that the
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  airplane goes somewhere my friends are going to either LA or Australia and I was like oh my god you
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  know I'm I never felt jealousy for uh for anything like I was so jealousy I was I was going to die
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  I was going to burn in my jealousy and by the way last year uh after 40 years I landed in the
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  soil of Australia and I almost cried because my dreams of 40 years you know of course I could go
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  but I my trauma like oh whenever I heard Australia you know my heart ached so um every one of us
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  had some kind of funny trauma sometime big like your parents are divorced because of money
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  and you're heavily scolded or I know a person who was kidnapped for money you know so a lot
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  of money related trauma happened in our childhood and unless we feel the side effect after effect
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  of that is when we want to buy something this uh uh deep voice saying you're too cheap you know
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  this is too expensive for you when you want to start your own business no no you can't make it
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  because you you didn't you didn't deserve uh ballet lesson or soccer lesson or nice summer camp
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  why such a failure can't study business as a succeed so subconsciously all these traumas
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  just taught you and limit you and I've struggled with that because later on I wanted to study
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  English and do something internationally but it took me almost um 40 years since I started
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  thinking about that so uh unless you heal your money money trauma or money scars you know we limit
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  we tend to limit those self in a small box you have tips on where people can even begin
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  to start healing because that's some deep rooted stuff that's going back
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  a very very long ways right right so you don't need to meet uh see uh see your your therapist
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  and it's it's very simple if you're willing to do it you know it you may in your imagination go
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  back to your living room like 30 years ago 40 years ago and just look at your parents in your own
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  eyes adult eyes and then your parents are maybe younger than you are now you know
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  during their 20s or early 30s right so um you can see your parents kind of like puzzled
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  uh we don't have the money you know so to send uh send the kid a child to express
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  if summer school or ballet lessons or uh you know Disneyland or whatever and then uh you can see
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  they're they're as they're so confused and they feel so shameful so instead of just
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  confronting their shame and uh anxiety around money they turn it on to their kids and they
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  made their little one a bad guy so like you're too expensive you know what do you think we
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  we are made up you know we're in a matter uh money you know stuff like that or even even in a very
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  upsetting tone so you can see uh 70 year old a 10 year old boy or girl girl saw her because of
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  the comment that your young parent made so you can say you can go to close to your um your boy or
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  girl and say it's okay okay you know right it's not your fault it's just your parents didn't have
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  money so um so that's why they cannot afford it but if they have if they have the money
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  they'll of course they'll be happy to give it to you so it's not your fault and they just hug
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  your uh you know a child uh your self many years ago and then be with the boy be with a girl
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  and then just give a blessing to the young parent because they they didn't know much about money
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  they were as confused you know they're young they maybe came a little smarter but they didn't know much
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  so uh do you want to blame them you know for it for being ignorant and if you have compassion and
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  love for them you can send love to your parents as well so by looking at your young parents as
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  innocent uh ignorant people and you accept them as who they are and if you can forgive them
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  just give them your blessing and by doing that you realize okay nothing wrong with me
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  that I can start my own business I can just invest in new things I can get married in
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  or nothing stops me uh at least at least money doesn't stop me thanks for tuning in if you found
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  this valuable don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode and if you
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  want to dive deeper into this conversation check out the links in the description to watch the full
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  episode see you in the next one