Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Texting Red Flags and Vision Boards: Clarke Peoples on Confidence and Curiosity

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Texting Red Flags and Vision Boards: Clarke Peoples on Confidence and Curiosity · QUESTION EVERYTHING

0:04
Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
0:08
Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe and each week my guests
0:12
Speaker 1: and I have conversations that put a new spin on
0:15
Speaker 1: pretty This is pretty smart. Hello, I hope you're having
0:22
Speaker 1: a really wonderful week. I am still on a high
0:26
Speaker 1: from last week when I went to Gloria Steinem's house
0:31
Speaker 1: in New York to sit in her living room, and
0:34
Speaker 1: I told you guys, I was going. So I'm going
0:36
Speaker 1: to give you a recap, but before I do, I
0:41
Speaker 1: just want to remind you that we have our New
0:44
Speaker 1: Year's episode coming up. So I always do something special
0:48
Speaker 1: for New Year's. Last year I did a meditation. I
0:52
Speaker 1: think it was a goal setting meditation, and the year
0:55
Speaker 1: before that we did something else special. And this year
0:59
Speaker 1: I'm doing something I am so excited about because I
1:03
Speaker 1: do a really like a deep dive into my goals
1:08
Speaker 1: for the next year, both personal, professional, travel, et cetera.
1:13
Speaker 1: I put it like basically a twenty twenty five vision
1:16
Speaker 1: board together on paper, and then I try and do
1:20
Speaker 1: I've never done actually the imagery of it. I'm doing
1:22
Speaker 1: that for the first time this year. So I put
1:25
Speaker 1: a whole worksheet together of how I do it, and
1:29
Speaker 1: it's going to be available for download for free, so
1:32
Speaker 1: you guys can have it in front of you. And
1:34
Speaker 1: I'm going to do an episode going through how I
1:36
Speaker 1: goal set, why certain details matter, where I got them from, etc.
1:42
Speaker 1: And then talk about vision boarding and what I found
1:45
Speaker 1: that works, what I found that does, in et cetera.
1:47
Speaker 1: So don't miss that episode. That's going to be the
1:49
Speaker 1: Thursday before New Year's Also next week, I'm going to
1:55
Speaker 1: drop two episodes on the same day. One is really
1:59
Speaker 1: fun and light hearted and one is more serious and
2:03
Speaker 1: super heartfelt. And so I wanted to give you an
2:06
Speaker 1: episode for whichever vibe you were on, and then the
2:09
Speaker 1: New Year's episode will drop, and then we're going to
2:11
Speaker 1: be in twenty twenty five, which is crazy. I've already
2:13
Speaker 1: started recording for them. But let's talk about this week.
2:17
Speaker 1: So Gloria Steinem's living room. Okay, So walk up to
2:23
Speaker 1: her brownstone in New York. And I had taken the
2:26
Speaker 1: Red Eye to get there because I was recording the
2:28
Speaker 1: Hello Sunshine podcast that I do and I didn't want
2:31
Speaker 1: to miss work. So I take a red Eye get
2:34
Speaker 1: to the brownstone. It is freezing in New York. I
2:37
Speaker 1: was so nervous. I pressed the doorbell and a woman
2:41
Speaker 1: who works with her greeted me. She was super sweet,
2:45
Speaker 1: she like actually put my nerves at ease, and then
2:48
Speaker 1: we were ushered into her living room. So when I
2:53
Speaker 1: see her living room, I feel like I need to
2:54
Speaker 1: set the stage because Gloria's living room is iconic. It
2:58
Speaker 1: radiates with warmth and character, and it's really a space
3:03
Speaker 1: where history and personal stories converge. The walls are painted
3:08
Speaker 1: this deep Indian yellow, with matching drapes hung on the
3:11
Speaker 1: high ceilings, and killim rugs adorn the floors, which add
3:16
Speaker 1: this texture and global feeling. And there's pillows scattered everywhere,
3:21
Speaker 1: which is like it's her inviting you into this space
3:24
Speaker 1: for comfort and conversation. She has this vintage wooden fireplace
3:29
Speaker 1: that really anchors the room, and it's mantles adorned with
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Speaker 1: whimsical painted wooden mermaid like figures. Then there's this heavily
3:36
Speaker 1: decorated black tunic from Afghanistan or cashmere that hangs gracefully,
3:41
Speaker 1: that hangs gracefully above, and there are elephants everywhere. There's
3:45
Speaker 1: a large black and white photograph over the couch. There's
3:48
Speaker 1: little elephant figurines on the wood coffee table, and they're
3:52
Speaker 1: her favorite animal. She said, They're beautiful and wise and
3:55
Speaker 1: have terrific memories. The space is both intimate and eclectic.
4:01
Speaker 1: It's brimming with frame photographs and letters and art that
4:05
Speaker 1: document her life and the milestones of the feminist movement.
4:10
Speaker 1: It's a room that feels lived in and loved and
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Speaker 1: designed for connection and reflection and sharing stories. If this
4:19
Speaker 1: gives you any indication, we were sitting I think about
4:22
Speaker 1: nine of us in the room, and everybody had a
4:25
Speaker 1: different mug. My guess is they were collected over time
4:30
Speaker 1: from her travels and experiences. Now, when I say the
4:34
Speaker 1: living room is iconic, it was a hub for the
4:36
Speaker 1: feminist movement. It's where Miss magazine was born. Mis was
4:40
Speaker 1: Gloria's publication, and it was super groundbreaking because it was
4:44
Speaker 1: the first national feminist publication that unapologetically was dedicated to
4:49
Speaker 1: exploring women's issues through the lens of equality, through the
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Speaker 1: lens of empowerment and activism, and it launched in nineteen
4:57
Speaker 1: seventy one. It tackled topics like reproductive rights and domestic
5:00
Speaker 1: violence and workplace discrimination, and it gave women a voice
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Speaker 1: and really like a voice for experiences that had been
5:08
Speaker 1: ignored by mainstream media. There was this debut declaration called
5:13
Speaker 1: we Have Had Abortions that was signed by fifty three
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Speaker 1: prominent women, and it set the tone for this really fearless,
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Speaker 1: game changing approach to dismantling patriarchy and sparking conversation. And
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Speaker 1: it all began because Gloria gathered women in her living room.
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Speaker 1: I've always thought that among Gloria's powers, because she really
5:35
Speaker 1: is powerful and almost mystical in a way. She would
5:38
Speaker 1: never tell you that, because she's so humble, But I've
5:40
Speaker 1: gotten to meet her a few times, and my takeaway
5:44
Speaker 1: is always authenticity. She's so Gloria, She's so comfortable in
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Speaker 1: who she is, and one of her powers is her
5:53
Speaker 1: ability to make connections between people, ideas, and movements, and
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Speaker 1: she doesn't do it for theory or for fun even
6:02
Speaker 1: She's really about action. She said, you can empower women
6:06
Speaker 1: without listening to their stories. So whether she's sitting in
6:10
Speaker 1: a woman only train car in India or standing alongside
6:14
Speaker 1: Korean peace activists at the DMZ, she shows up time
6:18
Speaker 1: and time again, not to lead the conversation, but to
6:20
Speaker 1: amplify the voices of those who need to be heard.
6:24
Speaker 1: And every time I hear her speak live, she says
6:26
Speaker 1: that the best movements and revolutions have started because women
6:30
Speaker 1: gathered and shared their honest stories and someone said something
6:34
Speaker 1: and another woman said, oh yeah, that also happened to me.
6:37
Speaker 1: And these famous gatherings were dubbed talking circles. And when
6:42
Speaker 1: I was in her living room, she explained the history
6:45
Speaker 1: of them, and she said it wasn't until there was
6:47
Speaker 1: an Indigenous woman that came to her living room that said, oh, yeah,
6:51
Speaker 1: we've been doing this for hundreds of years that she
6:54
Speaker 1: realized that it really was a historic approach to connection
6:59
Speaker 1: and story. Now, you know, I like to talk, so
7:03
Speaker 1: a talking circle is up my alley, But this was different.
7:07
Speaker 1: When my friend invited me, my eyes welled up because
7:12
Speaker 1: I just kept thinking about the history and the conversations
7:14
Speaker 1: and the moments that happened in that room. You know,
7:18
Speaker 1: Lynn Manuel Miranda's Hamilton. It feels like it's quite literally
7:22
Speaker 1: the room where it happened. So we sit down and
7:27
Speaker 1: everybody introduces themselves and I said, Hi, I'm Danielle Robe
7:33
Speaker 1: and first and foremost, I'm a product of the conversations
7:37
Speaker 1: that have happened in this room. I was sitting next
7:40
Speaker 1: to women who were advocates for social change in the mud,
7:43
Speaker 1: day in and day out, lobbying, writing laws, working tireusly
7:46
Speaker 1: to make all of our lives better. And then we
7:49
Speaker 1: just talked for two hours about the state of the
7:52
Speaker 1: world and social justice and feminist advocacy and how we
8:00
Speaker 1: could support each other and what needed to change and
8:02
Speaker 1: what was going well. And by the very end, my
8:06
Speaker 1: friend asked what everybody needed help with, So we went
8:09
Speaker 1: around the room and then I reached into my bag
8:13
Speaker 1: because everyone was sort of dispersing, and I pulled out
8:17
Speaker 1: Miss Magazine. Now I've held on to two copies of
8:21
Speaker 1: Miss Magazine for years. The first one was sort of
8:25
Speaker 1: the preliminary edition, it was like the test edition. And
8:29
Speaker 1: then the other one was the very first publication of
8:33
Speaker 1: Miss Magazine. And I brought them to her and she
8:38
Speaker 1: was so excited to see them. She was pointing to
8:41
Speaker 1: the covers and explaining to me why she chose certain
8:44
Speaker 1: things and certain images and what they meant to her
8:48
Speaker 1: at the time. And then everybody sort of gathered around
8:52
Speaker 1: to hear what she was saying. And I felt like
8:54
Speaker 1: it was my moment to start asking questions. So I
8:57
Speaker 1: said to her, Gloria, how many times have you been
9:00
Speaker 1: in love? And she thought about it and she said three,
9:05
Speaker 1: three times. And I was going through my mind of
9:09
Speaker 1: all of her sort of public relationships that I knew about,
9:11
Speaker 1: and I wanted to know who the three were, but
9:13
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be, you know, too personal or nosy.
9:16
Speaker 1: And we started talking about love in her life, and
9:20
Speaker 1: it kind of spurred other conversation, and then when there
9:23
Speaker 1: was a down moment, someone asked about my card game
9:26
Speaker 1: because I was asking questions and I had brought a
9:28
Speaker 1: few in my bag, so I pulled them out and
9:31
Speaker 1: we all started playing, and it felt completely surreal to me.
9:35
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that I was playing Question Everything with
9:38
Speaker 1: Gloria Steinhem and these other incredible women, and it sort
9:41
Speaker 1: of felt like a sleepover. She was in her big
9:44
Speaker 1: comfy chair and we were all gathered around her. I
9:47
Speaker 1: was near her feet, there was another woman on the
9:49
Speaker 1: side of her chair, another one at the other side
9:51
Speaker 1: of her chair, and we were all just like gathered
9:54
Speaker 1: and laughing, and the game really brought out like personal conversation.
9:59
Speaker 1: So that was the moment, and it's something I'll never forget.
10:04
Speaker 1: I've seen photos of that living room and I've always
10:07
Speaker 1: wanted to see it in person, and to not just
10:10
Speaker 1: see it in person, but to share that space with
10:13
Speaker 1: her and hear her thoughts. She's so present, it was
10:18
Speaker 1: just pretty amazing. And to listen to her. I mean,
10:21
Speaker 1: after sixty seventy years, even she's ninety years old, she
10:26
Speaker 1: is still at the forefront of the feminist cause. She
10:29
Speaker 1: believes that societal progress depends on dismantling systems of oppression
10:35
Speaker 1: and empowering women to pursue their fullest potential. I just
10:39
Speaker 1: feel like we all have so much to thank her for.
10:44
Speaker 1: That's what I felt in that room. Anyways, Okay, I
10:48
Speaker 1: know that was long, so thanks for sharing that moment
10:51
Speaker 1: with me, but I had to give you the download
10:54
Speaker 1: because it was such a unique experience. And today's episode
10:58
Speaker 1: is a very fun one. I'm trying to have some
11:01
Speaker 1: more fun lately. Today's episode is with Clark Peoples, who
11:08
Speaker 1: is a next generation influencer. If you're a millennial, I
11:13
Speaker 1: know you remember the early days of influencer culture, like
11:15
Speaker 1: perfectly curated Instagram aesthetics and the beautifully shot YouTube videos
11:20
Speaker 1: that dominated the Internet. Well, cut to twenty twenty four,
11:23
Speaker 1: and I feel like we're all just over it. People
11:26
Speaker 1: need more from their influencers, and we need things a
11:29
Speaker 1: little more raw and a little more thought provoking. Well
11:33
Speaker 1: enter Clark, People's okay. Clark is a twenty three year
11:36
Speaker 1: old content creator who tried out TikTok for fun, and
11:39
Speaker 1: she ended up resonating with people on the platform so deeply,
11:43
Speaker 1: so it kind of happened overnight for her. She went
11:45
Speaker 1: from being an unknown to going viral and napping six
11:48
Speaker 1: figure brand deals in one video, and Clark is ushering
11:53
Speaker 1: in a new era of influencer.
11:55
Speaker 2: I think that because my audience knew me for having
11:58
Speaker 2: opinions and like being politically or legally minded, it sort
12:03
Speaker 2: of it seems like a natural progression. So I of
12:05
Speaker 2: course have followers who're like, oh, I don't like this,
12:06
Speaker 2: take like I'm unfollowing you. And I think everyone should
12:10
Speaker 2: do whatever is best them curate there for you page
12:12
Speaker 2: and their feeds to you know, their liking. But I'm
12:15
Speaker 2: not gonna stop, you know, speaking about things that are
12:18
Speaker 2: important to me.
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Speaker 1: Simply put at twenty three, it feels like Clark just
12:21
Speaker 1: gets it. When I was her age, I was admittedly
12:24
Speaker 1: somewhat lost in trying to figure out who I was
12:26
Speaker 1: and maybe a little bit too people. Pleasey and I
12:30
Speaker 1: would definitely allow myself to get way too hurt by men,
12:35
Speaker 1: but not Clark.
12:37
Speaker 2: I've never felt like a guy holds any more value
12:40
Speaker 2: than I do. I'm like my fun, my academics, my whatever,
12:44
Speaker 2: Like my professional life is so much more important than
12:46
Speaker 2: any relationship I've had with you or like whatever.
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Speaker 1: Today Clark is taking us on her journey to becoming
12:53
Speaker 1: a successful content creator. She's sharing her secrets to crafting
12:57
Speaker 1: viral hits and what truly sets her apart. But that's
13:01
Speaker 1: not all. We're diving into the juicy topics dating, sex, love.
13:05
Speaker 1: Clark offers this really fresh perspective on hookup culture and
13:08
Speaker 1: breaks down her tried and true vetting process for dating apps.
13:12
Speaker 1: I loved this part, so buckle up. The future of
13:16
Speaker 1: influencing is here, and Clark People's is leading the way.
13:29
Speaker 1: Clark Peoples, welcome to Pretty Smart.
13:32
Speaker 2: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.
13:34
Speaker 1: You are so pretty smart. I'm so happy that you're here.
13:37
Speaker 1: I was reading about you and you said that at
13:40
Speaker 1: twelve years old, you had this vision for who you
13:43
Speaker 1: wanted to become. And I'm wondering when you conjured up
13:48
Speaker 1: this big life, this vision in your mind.
13:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like such a great question. I just made
13:53
Speaker 2: that video recently talking about this. I think when I
13:56
Speaker 2: was twelve, So I want to say, one of my
13:58
Speaker 2: teachers had an ex I was like create a vision
14:01
Speaker 2: board for some purpose, and it was my history teacher.
14:04
Speaker 2: And I was sort of becoming very interested in politics
14:07
Speaker 2: and government at that time, and so I made the
14:10
Speaker 2: vision board. But I sort of went a step further
14:12
Speaker 2: and I like wrote out, Okay, I want to be
14:14
Speaker 2: like Michelle Obama. So I at first actually wanted to
14:17
Speaker 2: go to Princeton undergrad and I wanted to go to
14:19
Speaker 2: Harvard Law School. And I had like written it all
14:21
Speaker 2: out what I had to do in high school to
14:22
Speaker 2: get there, what I was going to do in college
14:24
Speaker 2: to get to law school. And just like the entire thing,
14:27
Speaker 2: I had my husband's like guys that I might want
14:29
Speaker 2: to marry, like Morre's Chestnut was on there, like Eddy
14:31
Speaker 2: Cibrin or something.
14:33
Speaker 1: Great choices, right, and then Sorority.
14:35
Speaker 2: I was gonna pledge, Like I really laid everything out,
14:38
Speaker 2: and I think I just knew I wanted. I don't know.
14:40
Speaker 2: I would see people on TV or like scandals very popular,
14:43
Speaker 2: and like I want to have a super like high
14:45
Speaker 2: powered career. I want to be a lawyer or like
14:48
Speaker 2: something in politics, a lobbyist maybe, and like I know,
14:52
Speaker 2: I've got to start working now to get there, and
14:54
Speaker 2: I just put it to work.
14:55
Speaker 1: Olivia's hope inspired.
14:57
Speaker 2: You exactly, Livia Pope and Michelle Obama.
14:59
Speaker 1: For sure, you were really intentional about your choices. You
15:03
Speaker 1: didn't date in high school, you didn't drink, you were
15:06
Speaker 1: an exceptional student, and I feel like a lot of
15:09
Speaker 1: people would think that your parents guided you towards that,
15:13
Speaker 1: but you said that this was really coming from you.
15:16
Speaker 2: Yeah.
15:16
Speaker 1: No.
15:17
Speaker 2: So my mom and I have always been super close,
15:19
Speaker 2: and I think one thing I always talk about is
15:21
Speaker 2: we used to watch so many movies together. So like
15:23
Speaker 2: Something's Got to Give was a favorite, and I'm like
15:26
Speaker 2: twelve years old watching Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson in
15:28
Speaker 2: this movie, and I felt like so many things that
15:31
Speaker 2: I saw, like I would see different relationships play out
15:34
Speaker 2: on TV and Sex and the City movies, whatever, and
15:36
Speaker 2: we would always talk about it, and so she never
15:38
Speaker 2: really had to tell me, Okay, don't do this. You
15:41
Speaker 2: can't do that. I don't think I ever really had
15:43
Speaker 2: any rules even a curfew when I was in high school,
15:46
Speaker 2: but because we would look at other people's lives and
15:49
Speaker 2: kind of try to take lessons from them, even if
15:51
Speaker 2: it's just an art of course, like art imitates life
15:54
Speaker 2: and reality, and so I don't know, I just sort
15:57
Speaker 2: of learned some lessons I think, from there without having
16:01
Speaker 2: to experience it personally myself and sort of talk through
16:03
Speaker 2: with my mom before I ever got to that point,
16:05
Speaker 2: and so, yeah, I just pretty self guided in that.
16:11
Speaker 1: Seems like there's a lot of sacrifice involved in that too,
16:14
Speaker 1: Like when you look back on that girl from high school,
16:19
Speaker 1: how do you feel about her?
16:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know, I never really thought about it
16:23
Speaker 2: in like a sacrificial sort of way until someone actually
16:26
Speaker 2: commented that. I think maybe someone posts my video on
16:29
Speaker 2: Twitter and they were like, seems like you really sacrifice
16:31
Speaker 2: a lot, And I definitely did. But it never felt
16:33
Speaker 2: like I was lacking anything or missing out in experiences,
16:36
Speaker 2: because I don't know. For me, I love the experience
16:39
Speaker 2: of like going to my mock trial practices and being
16:41
Speaker 2: student body president and like doing homecoming stuff. The drinking
16:45
Speaker 2: and dating and all of that didn't really didn't seem
16:48
Speaker 2: like something I was missing because I knew I had
16:50
Speaker 2: my whole life to do it. But I did certainly
16:52
Speaker 2: forego a lot of maybe the things that people consider
16:55
Speaker 2: like fun or just like being young and care free
16:58
Speaker 2: and making like kind of dumb decisions. But I don't know,
17:00
Speaker 2: I think that the outcome has been great. Now I
17:03
Speaker 2: can make the dumb decisions, and like I have income
17:06
Speaker 2: to fall back on, like a degree to fall back on,
17:07
Speaker 2: lots of things. So yeah, I don't know. I think
17:10
Speaker 2: I'm very proud of my high school self. I wish
17:12
Speaker 2: that sometimes I could ask for questions. I feel like
17:14
Speaker 2: she was even more disciplined than I am to do
17:17
Speaker 2: For sure.
17:18
Speaker 1: It's interesting. I felt very similar to you. I really
17:21
Speaker 1: resonated with your video, and I haven't heard a lot
17:24
Speaker 1: of people talk about that. I do feel a little
17:27
Speaker 1: bit like I sacrificed, Like I didn't go to like
17:30
Speaker 1: basketball games or like certain things my friends would go
17:34
Speaker 1: to at like seven o'clock. I was studying or writing
17:36
Speaker 1: a paper. But now I'm so grateful for that exactly.
17:40
Speaker 1: Here's what I think is interesting. If you go online,
17:43
Speaker 1: everybody thinks you grew up super wealthy. Yeah, they do,
17:46
Speaker 1: and you didn't.
17:47
Speaker 2: I did not. And I think part of that is
17:50
Speaker 2: my mom's ex boyfriend, who I always called my stepdad.
17:53
Speaker 2: He's a fashion designer, but when he was dating my mom,
17:55
Speaker 2: which would have been god, I think they probably met
17:58
Speaker 2: sixteen or seventeen years ago. We did not have it.
18:02
Speaker 2: Like he's wrote and written an entire book now about
18:04
Speaker 2: how he had to file for bankruptcy and oede irs
18:06
Speaker 2: so much money. And we had like when we first
18:09
Speaker 2: moved to Atlanta, two bedroom apartment with seven people in it,
18:12
Speaker 2: like one bathroom, and eventually obviously we got like we
18:16
Speaker 2: had larger space or whatever, but at no point where
18:19
Speaker 2: we like wealthier even I don't know if I would
18:23
Speaker 2: even say like totally middle classic. We had food stamps,
18:26
Speaker 2: like I don't know it was. I never felt like
18:28
Speaker 2: I wanted for anything, because I just wanted stuff for
18:30
Speaker 2: school or whatever. But no, it definitely did not grow
18:33
Speaker 2: up with a ton of money.
18:35
Speaker 1: Why do you think people think that of you now?
18:37
Speaker 2: I think it's hard for people to accept that, like
18:40
Speaker 2: young women are able to accomplish things on their own.
18:42
Speaker 2: Because I also get like the sugar baby thing all
18:44
Speaker 2: the time, like oh, she has to be an escort
18:46
Speaker 2: or a sugar baby, Like there's no way she's making
18:48
Speaker 2: money on her own. And that's actually how I started
18:50
Speaker 2: making content. My first video that I made blew up,
18:53
Speaker 2: had millions of views overnight, and people were like, she
18:56
Speaker 2: has to be at escort, like she's a sugar baby.
18:58
Speaker 2: That's the only way she can have this apartment. I
19:00
Speaker 2: was like, whoa, I was starting a legal internship in
19:02
Speaker 2: two days, and so I was like, no, no, no, no,
19:04
Speaker 2: I have to set the record rate. So I made
19:06
Speaker 2: another video like you guys, I got the Gate Scholarship
19:09
Speaker 2: and I'm a cluegy schollar at Columbia, Like I got
19:12
Speaker 2: over half million dollars in scholarships, Like I am not
19:14
Speaker 2: what you guys are saying. I am like what. And
19:17
Speaker 2: then the next video I made after that, that one
19:19
Speaker 2: went viral. The next video I made I wanted to show,
19:22
Speaker 2: like you guys, I actually have a job, and then
19:23
Speaker 2: that one went viral, and I think like a week
19:25
Speaker 2: and a half later, I got my first brand deal,
19:27
Speaker 2: and so I kept doing it. But I literally only
19:30
Speaker 2: kept posting to set the record strate. Like it was
19:33
Speaker 2: a mess.
19:33
Speaker 1: First of all, I didn't know that. That's wild.
19:35
Speaker 2: Yeah.
19:37
Speaker 1: Second of all, I now I understand where your love
19:40
Speaker 1: of education comes from. Like Obama has this great quote
19:43
Speaker 1: that he says in so many speeches that education is
19:45
Speaker 1: the great equalizer. Yeah, and it's so true. But it
19:48
Speaker 1: seems like you understood that at a really young age.
19:51
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I always I've never been super entrepreneurial, I guess,
19:55
Speaker 2: and like, okay, well I'm not going to go to school,
19:56
Speaker 2: but I'm going to start some big business. I know,
19:59
Speaker 2: like the Michael Rubin the world. They're like, oh, yeah,
20:01
Speaker 2: I've had a business as I was twelve, Like that
20:02
Speaker 2: was not me. And so I knew if I really
20:05
Speaker 2: wanted to give myself access to certain spaces or like
20:08
Speaker 2: just upward social mobility, I would probably just need to
20:11
Speaker 2: go to school. And I enjoyed school, so I was like,
20:13
Speaker 2: that's totally fine. And so if I can get the
20:15
Speaker 2: scholarships to go to the school that I want to,
20:17
Speaker 2: that's going to be it. And it's definitely it's worked
20:20
Speaker 2: the way I thought it would.
20:21
Speaker 1: Wait. So, cause you run your own business now like
20:24
Speaker 1: you are the business of Clark People's, how does that feel?
20:27
Speaker 1: It's weird?
20:28
Speaker 2: And you know, I when I first graduated from college
20:31
Speaker 2: last year, so not this past me, but the twenty
20:34
Speaker 2: twenty three I remember making a video like you guys,
20:37
Speaker 2: I have to get a job because this is too
20:39
Speaker 2: much flexibility. I like having something I have to turn
20:42
Speaker 2: into a professor, like to my boss, this is just
20:45
Speaker 2: I don't know. And then also content has never really
20:47
Speaker 2: been like my passion in life. I always thought I
20:50
Speaker 2: was going to be an attorney and go straight to
20:52
Speaker 2: law school, and so it sort of felt like a
20:54
Speaker 2: wrench was throne and my plans doing the content thing,
20:57
Speaker 2: and I was trying to figure out how to make
20:59
Speaker 2: everything balance. But now I think over the last year
21:02
Speaker 2: really kind of stepping into creating my own schedule, like
21:05
Speaker 2: figuring out a way that that works for me, and
21:07
Speaker 2: then also being able to travel and do speaking engagements
21:09
Speaker 2: and political stuff. Like it seems like those two interests
21:13
Speaker 2: with the content and legal or academic professional aspirations sort
21:17
Speaker 2: of merged.
21:18
Speaker 1: Think so too. I saw you at the DNC and
21:21
Speaker 1: you posted this amazing video in the bathroom dancing. What
21:26
Speaker 1: song was it?
21:27
Speaker 2: I think the first one was, Oh my goodness. There
21:29
Speaker 2: are these little TikTok mixes that they do to like
21:32
Speaker 2: political speech. Gosh. The first one was, Oh, it was
21:36
Speaker 2: a Kamala Harris quote where she's saying if someone sometimes
21:39
Speaker 2: people open the door for you, sometimes they won't, and
21:41
Speaker 2: when they don't, you have to kick the fucking door down.
21:43
Speaker 2: Can I cuss? Yeah, yeah, you have to kick the
21:45
Speaker 2: fucking door down. And so they just did a remix
21:48
Speaker 2: to it, and so I'm like dancing to that. And
21:50
Speaker 2: then the second one was about like Donald Trump being
21:52
Speaker 2: a convicted felon. But I was not expecting those videos
21:55
Speaker 2: to blow up the way that they did, Like just
21:57
Speaker 2: a silly last minute thought before I left the house.
21:59
Speaker 1: Well, here's my question for you, because a lot of
22:02
Speaker 1: influencers and content creators wouldn't touch that. Yeah, you dive
22:07
Speaker 1: headfirst in and it's part of your brand, but like
22:11
Speaker 1: it could be very divisive. Did you ever think about that?
22:14
Speaker 2: Yeah? You know, I feel like I never really did
22:18
Speaker 2: because in school I studied like politics and government, and
22:21
Speaker 2: people followed me because they knew I was like pre
22:23
Speaker 2: law and sort of in that space. So if I
22:26
Speaker 2: had started just making beauty content that was for everyone,
22:29
Speaker 2: I don't know that I would feel like that's something
22:32
Speaker 2: that maybe I should do although just knowing myself, I
22:35
Speaker 2: know that I would anyway, because I'm like, I don't
22:36
Speaker 2: give a shit, I'm gonna just do whatever I want.
22:38
Speaker 2: But the same yeah, I think that because my audience
22:42
Speaker 2: knew me for having opinions and like being politically or
22:45
Speaker 2: legally minded, it sort of it seems like a natural progression.
22:49
Speaker 2: So I of course have followers You're like, oh, I
22:50
Speaker 2: don't like this, take like I'm unfollowing you. And I
22:53
Speaker 2: think everyone should do whatever is best the curate there
22:56
Speaker 2: for you page and their feeds to you know, their liking.
22:59
Speaker 2: But I'm not going to stop, you know, speaking about
23:02
Speaker 2: things that are important to me.
23:04
Speaker 1: First of all, that's a SoundBite. I love that it's
23:06
Speaker 1: true you're twenty three. When you see content creators that
23:10
Speaker 1: are thirty three, forty three, do you think that they
23:14
Speaker 1: have a different idea about things like that?
23:18
Speaker 2: That's a good question. I don't know. I feel like
23:20
Speaker 2: a lot of the people that I follow are I
23:23
Speaker 2: don't know. I would say, like the content creators I
23:25
Speaker 2: know as well that were mutuals in their thirties, I
23:27
Speaker 2: think that they touch very similar topics. But I also
23:30
Speaker 2: think when you're older, you have one I think you're
23:34
Speaker 2: a bit more sure of yourself for sure, and then
23:37
Speaker 2: you have like things you're not willing to compromise on,
23:39
Speaker 2: more so than I think when you're younger and you're
23:41
Speaker 2: kind of figuring things out. I think that a lot
23:43
Speaker 2: of creators my same age are like gen Z. If
23:46
Speaker 2: you're not already making political content, you're probably going to
23:49
Speaker 2: shy away from it because it's like the great unknown.
23:52
Speaker 2: You don't know what's going to happen to your brand
23:54
Speaker 2: deals or whatever else. Yeah, and that can be scary.
23:57
Speaker 2: I think if you're older, maybe have a little bit
23:59
Speaker 2: more stability. If you're like married and you have a
24:01
Speaker 2: partner who's also supporting you, like whatever, you're not going
24:05
Speaker 2: to just shy away from things because there's like a
24:08
Speaker 2: fear of maybe not working with this or in beauty
24:10
Speaker 2: brand next month.
24:12
Speaker 1: When I look at your content, I realize that you
24:16
Speaker 1: are a next generation influencer, Like you are of a
24:19
Speaker 1: different because I grew up like my influencers are a
24:24
Speaker 1: decade older, and I see such a difference in how
24:28
Speaker 1: they put out content versus you. Really, do you see.
24:32
Speaker 2: It at all?
24:33
Speaker 1: I mean, I aside from like choogy fashion, yeah.
24:36
Speaker 2: No, I think like that's interesting. I feel like maybe
24:41
Speaker 2: with my generation, we're very candid, like it's not very
24:45
Speaker 2: dressed up. When I think of a lot of the
24:46
Speaker 2: older influencer, like when I say older, just older than me.
24:49
Speaker 2: But I think about like YouTube, for example, which yeah,
24:54
Speaker 2: a lot of production value goes into it, like I
24:56
Speaker 2: can't even do you to myself because it's so much work.
24:59
Speaker 2: But there's editing and you have like lighting and everything
25:02
Speaker 2: is kind of curated in a way. And I think
25:04
Speaker 2: with me primarily being a TikTok creator, it's like I
25:07
Speaker 2: just kind of turn my phone on and I'm ranting
25:10
Speaker 2: for five minutes or whatever. Or I'm doing a blog
25:12
Speaker 2: that's super maybe a little bit chaotic compared to a
25:15
Speaker 2: YouTube blog because it's just hey, guys, come with me
25:17
Speaker 2: and like here's this that I saw. So maybe in
25:20
Speaker 2: that way a bit of a difference.
25:22
Speaker 1: How online are you?
25:24
Speaker 2: I'm honestly not that online, which is crazy, I think
25:28
Speaker 2: because one when I was in college, I was mostly
25:30
Speaker 2: like studying and in school, and then I think as
25:32
Speaker 2: soon as I graduated, I started traveling so much for work,
25:35
Speaker 2: and so I feel like I'm always on a brand
25:38
Speaker 2: trip or like speaking, I was just in DC for
25:41
Speaker 2: the week at the Congressional Black Caucus, like ALC week speaking,
25:44
Speaker 2: and so I can't really be online as much. And
25:47
Speaker 2: then I love facetiming my family, So I'm like, if
25:49
Speaker 2: I'm not doing something for work or whatever, I'm probably
25:53
Speaker 2: on FaceTime. And so I'm not as online as people
25:55
Speaker 2: might think. But I definitely still get online, and it's
25:57
Speaker 2: probably me as a gen Z. You're like, I'm not
25:59
Speaker 2: that online online like thirteen hours a day.
26:03
Speaker 1: Do you ever catch yourself because I think you're so reflective,
26:08
Speaker 1: So I'm wondering if you catch yourself feeling like, oh
26:11
Speaker 1: am I enjoying the comments too much? Or are my
26:14
Speaker 1: emotions tied to the internet.
26:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, I honestly. I think one thing I always talk
26:21
Speaker 2: about is like I really appreciate the fact that I
26:25
Speaker 2: derived a lot of my confidence and really knew who
26:28
Speaker 2: I was from like academics and things before becoming a
26:32
Speaker 2: content creator. I think a lot about creators who are
26:34
Speaker 2: really young, maybe who start and they're like fourteen or
26:37
Speaker 2: whatever else and they haven't really had the chance to
26:39
Speaker 2: figure out who they are, and now they're being told like, Okay,
26:43
Speaker 2: these comments, even if they're positive, like maybe the positive
26:45
Speaker 2: comments are all about their body or their looks, and
26:47
Speaker 2: now they think that's like their biggest point of value.
26:50
Speaker 2: Or if people are saying negative things about them, it
26:53
Speaker 2: can probably be really hard. But I'm kind of just like,
26:57
Speaker 2: y'all don't know me, Like I don't. I can't really
26:59
Speaker 2: take much of it to heart because I've never met you,
27:01
Speaker 2: you've never met me, and that's just life.
27:04
Speaker 1: I don't know you show your dating life. Is there
27:07
Speaker 1: anything you won't show?
27:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, So even with dating, like I never show people's faces,
27:12
Speaker 2: I never say their names, and I think, like my
27:16
Speaker 2: kind of rule of thumb, I am an open book.
27:19
Speaker 2: So I want any of my life experiences that they
27:21
Speaker 2: can help someone else. I'm totally fine with sharing them
27:24
Speaker 2: for that purpose. But if it's something that someone else
27:28
Speaker 2: is involved in, like more intimately, if it's like something
27:31
Speaker 2: that happened with me and another person, I shy away
27:34
Speaker 2: from sharing too much of like the other person's experience
27:37
Speaker 2: perhaps or anything identifying, just to protect other people's privacy
27:40
Speaker 2: and like respect their wishes to not be online. Yeah,
27:43
Speaker 2: but for the most part, I mean, I'm okay with
27:45
Speaker 2: answering a lot of things I'm not ashamed of, like
27:47
Speaker 2: anything I've ever done. And so even if it's something
27:49
Speaker 2: that maybe I wouldn't go back and do again, I'm
27:52
Speaker 2: fine with talking about it to help someone else, you know,
27:54
Speaker 2: keep from making that same I won't say mistake, but
27:57
Speaker 2: maybe misstep.
27:59
Speaker 1: You know. That's so interesting that you say you're not ashamed,
28:01
Speaker 1: because before we started recording, I was like, you're just
28:05
Speaker 1: so embodied Clark, Like I look at you and I'm like,
28:07
Speaker 1: how are you twenty three? And I'm wondering if maybe
28:10
Speaker 1: that's it. It's that there is no shame. Maybe you know,
28:13
Speaker 1: not in like you have no shame, like you hold
28:16
Speaker 1: on to no shame.
28:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think one. I make a lot
28:19
Speaker 2: of very calculated decisions, like even small things, I think
28:23
Speaker 2: about them a lot. And so if I do something that,
28:27
Speaker 2: you know, maybe later on in life, I'm like, ah,
28:30
Speaker 2: maybe I wouldn't go back and do that. I always
28:32
Speaker 2: look at it from the framework of like now I'm
28:35
Speaker 2: just older, like whyseer I know more? But at no
28:37
Speaker 2: point in time did I like do things that would
28:39
Speaker 2: hurt other people or was I like a mean person
28:42
Speaker 2: or a cruel person. I was always very respectful and
28:45
Speaker 2: like thought about things. So if I now make a
28:47
Speaker 2: different decision with like the new experiences I have, there's
28:50
Speaker 2: nothing to be ashamed about from the past, so you know,
28:52
Speaker 2: I'm I feel fine with sharing whatever I want.
28:55
Speaker 1: To talk about dating, Yeah, particularly online? Yeah, is are
29:01
Speaker 1: you on apps?
29:02
Speaker 2: I am?
29:03
Speaker 1: Do you judge men by their photos or do you
29:06
Speaker 1: read their profile? Well?
29:08
Speaker 2: I do both, but I judge by boat falls.
29:12
Speaker 1: I do, so I don't write anything on my profile. Really,
29:16
Speaker 1: I don't, And I think it's a football. Well I
29:19
Speaker 1: think it comes off like I don't care, which is
29:22
Speaker 1: not good.
29:22
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think it depends on the app.
29:24
Speaker 2: Like for Rayah, I think no one puts anything their bio.
29:27
Speaker 1: Okay, like that's the thing.
29:28
Speaker 2: And then for Bumble, I'm like, you know, there are
29:32
Speaker 2: other prompts you can answer, so fine, And then I guess, HNJ,
29:34
Speaker 2: you don't even get a bio, you just have to
29:35
Speaker 2: answer prompts. But yeah, that's that's an interesting choice.
29:41
Speaker 1: You probably need to edit my dating app.
29:43
Speaker 2: I feel like you probably have personality showing in your photos.
29:46
Speaker 1: I don't even know. I'm so not an app person. Yeah,
29:49
Speaker 1: I'm never like I'm horrible.
29:51
Speaker 2: At iro kind of girl. Yeah, I'm like.
29:54
Speaker 1: An energy girl. That's why I'm curious about the photos
29:57
Speaker 1: with men, because it's like sometimes I can feel their
29:59
Speaker 1: energy through the photos, and sometimes I'm like, maybe I'm
30:01
Speaker 1: passing up a good guy because I don't know.
30:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I feel like whoever's for you is
30:07
Speaker 2: going to be for you, Like you're not going to
30:08
Speaker 2: swipe on yeah, the right person. But I think one
30:11
Speaker 2: thing I always look for is like, if a guy
30:13
Speaker 2: has all selfies red flag, I feel like you should
30:17
Speaker 2: be with your friends. Now this is really hypocritical because
30:20
Speaker 2: all of my pictures are by myself, but I think, like,
30:22
Speaker 2: that's my job is to take pictures by myself. But
30:24
Speaker 2: before I was a content creator, most of my pictures
30:26
Speaker 2: were like with people around me, so they haven't even
30:29
Speaker 2: crop them out. I can tell other people were there.
30:30
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, that's a little bit better.
30:32
Speaker 1: But that's funny.
30:33
Speaker 2: Now. I judge.
30:34
Speaker 1: I n File came on my podcast with his now
30:37
Speaker 1: wife Yeah, and I had them look at my dating
30:39
Speaker 1: profile and I never aired it because it was crazy,
30:43
Speaker 1: but they both were like, you have only photos of you.
30:47
Speaker 1: You need photos with friends, Like it looks like you
30:48
Speaker 1: have no friends.
30:49
Speaker 2: No you it's something interesting that you really do need foot.
30:52
Speaker 2: I think it just makes it more comfortable for other people,
30:55
Speaker 2: like seeing you around. I mean even when I date
30:58
Speaker 2: a guy, when I see him around his friends interact
31:00
Speaker 2: with other people, it makes him more attractive.
31:03
Speaker 1: And you're right, it's calming. That's interesting. Okay. On your
31:07
Speaker 1: way to France, I think you were on your way
31:09
Speaker 1: to France, you posted a very chaotic story.
31:12
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you were.
31:14
Speaker 1: With a man who was also dating other women, and
31:17
Speaker 1: you found out via social media.
31:18
Speaker 2: I found out via email. She emailed me on the
31:22
Speaker 2: way to France. Listen, I was on the flight to France.
31:26
Speaker 2: I get an email in the car on my way
31:29
Speaker 2: to the airport, and it's like his name West Village,
31:33
Speaker 2: like the neighborhood he lives in. And she's like, like,
31:36
Speaker 2: I think we're dating the same guy. This is this
31:38
Speaker 2: gives me some information. I'm sitting here like what the
31:42
Speaker 2: thing that she told a story basically, and it was
31:45
Speaker 2: a short thing to identify the guy, And I was like,
31:49
Speaker 2: this just happened on like maybe Sunday of like this week.
31:52
Speaker 2: This would have been a Saturday. Yeah, Like I was
31:55
Speaker 2: at his house when this happened. And so I'm sitting
31:57
Speaker 2: here thinking I'm like, oh my god, she was there
31:59
Speaker 2: the same day. Like literally we deduced after like a
32:01
Speaker 2: couple of emails. There were so many times that we
32:03
Speaker 2: were at his place or with him the exact same day,
32:06
Speaker 2: like she would leave or I would leave, or we
32:08
Speaker 2: would like finish dinner and then she crazy crazy.
32:12
Speaker 1: Okay, So here's what I what struck me. Yeah, you
32:15
Speaker 1: post this on your story and you're like kind of laughing. Yeah,
32:18
Speaker 1: you're on your way to France. You're like about to
32:21
Speaker 1: sleep or drink some wine. And I think at thirty three,
32:27
Speaker 1: i'd probably act like that. At twenty three, I would
32:31
Speaker 1: be on the phone with my mother all of my
32:33
Speaker 1: friends crying. I was not that emotionally sounding, but you
32:39
Speaker 1: were like just good riddance.
32:40
Speaker 2: To this man. Well yeah, because I mean, this is
32:43
Speaker 2: so random. There's a song by Russ and I think
32:45
Speaker 2: I can't remember the other person, maybe Blast is his name,
32:49
Speaker 2: but it's called fuck Boys, and there's one line in
32:52
Speaker 2: it that I think is like the greatest breakup advice
32:54
Speaker 2: of all time, and it's girl, who the fuck is
32:57
Speaker 2: he to fuck you up for life? So like, who
33:00
Speaker 2: is this guy to take you off course? Who is
33:02
Speaker 2: he to ruin your vacation, Like I've never felt like
33:05
Speaker 2: a guy holds any more value than I do. I'm
33:08
Speaker 2: like my fun, my academics, my whatever, Like my professional
33:12
Speaker 2: life is so much more important than any relationship I've
33:14
Speaker 2: had with you or like whatever. So I can't let
33:17
Speaker 2: you ruin. I'm in the South of France for a week,
33:19
Speaker 2: like I can't what even when he was messaging me
33:21
Speaker 2: about it, like we ended up talking while I was there,
33:23
Speaker 2: and he's like you texting me, I'm like, dude, I'm
33:25
Speaker 2: on a vacation, go off, you know what I mean?
33:27
Speaker 2: Like I cannot right now. And yeah, I mean a
33:30
Speaker 2: lot of people though, were like how are you doing?
33:32
Speaker 2: And I was like, I mean, I'm fine. I have
33:33
Speaker 2: so many opportunities and like blessings. My family's healthy, Like
33:37
Speaker 2: I'm excited about my life. This guy is, he's olds.
33:42
Speaker 1: Okay, I hope to have a daughter one day. And
33:45
Speaker 1: I'm going to need to talk to your mother to
33:47
Speaker 1: understand what she did to instill that in you.
33:51
Speaker 2: Honestly, I think again, I attribute a lot of it
33:53
Speaker 2: to being in high school and like not dating in
33:55
Speaker 2: high school. I didn't get any of my confidence from
33:57
Speaker 2: like guys liking me or what other people thought of me.
33:59
Speaker 2: It was always like what can I do for myself?
34:02
Speaker 2: And like I'm in school, I'm working on these things.
34:04
Speaker 2: I'm getting these scholarships, getting these programs, like that's what's
34:07
Speaker 2: important to me. And so I go to your life,
34:11
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't know it just sort of
34:13
Speaker 2: moving forward through life. I don't place a lot. I
34:17
Speaker 2: also think other people do things that are Other people
34:19
Speaker 2: are always going to disappoint you. They're going to make
34:21
Speaker 2: selfish decisions, and if you, I don't know, read too
34:24
Speaker 2: much into it or like put too much value on that,
34:26
Speaker 2: you're constantly going to be like questioning your self worth
34:29
Speaker 2: or like upset about things because other people they're just
34:32
Speaker 2: going to disappoint you, like the people you love, the
34:34
Speaker 2: people you don't love. Like it's just a fact of life.
34:37
Speaker 2: And so it's better to kind of distance yourself from
34:39
Speaker 2: that or figure out who you are as a person
34:41
Speaker 2: before you allow other people to like make that determination
34:44
Speaker 2: for you.
34:44
Speaker 1: Took me a long time to figure that out. I
34:47
Speaker 1: at one point, living in LA was dating this guy
34:50
Speaker 1: named Adam Okay and it's his real name, is that
34:55
Speaker 1: like a And I was so obsessed with him after
35:00
Speaker 1: our dates. He would call me and be like, I
35:03
Speaker 1: just had the best time with you, Like I can't
35:05
Speaker 1: even believe that I'd get to be around like he
35:08
Speaker 1: was so lovely and I had never had a guy
35:10
Speaker 1: be like that before. Yeah, I was probably like twenty five,
35:14
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden he got weird really like
35:19
Speaker 1: started like being busy. I would call and he would
35:23
Speaker 1: be like, I'm just like things are really chaotic right now.
35:25
Speaker 1: I was so deeply hurt by it.
35:27
Speaker 2: That's what they do.
35:29
Speaker 1: It had never happened to me before. So my friend Julia,
35:33
Speaker 1: who's so funny, was like, oh my god. Like a
35:37
Speaker 1: year later, she was like, I just got adamed. Like
35:40
Speaker 1: he became like a verb because we were like, oh that,
35:43
Speaker 1: like people weren't talking about ghosting like that was like free.
35:48
Speaker 1: But ever since that scenario, I realized everything you just
35:53
Speaker 1: said because I thought it was me, and really he
35:58
Speaker 1: had so much stuff going on. His dad was sick,
36:00
Speaker 1: Like I didn't know any of this stuff, and it's
36:03
Speaker 1: like you can never freaking personalize it.
36:05
Speaker 2: You can't. I always tell people that because I mean,
36:08
Speaker 2: you truly have no idea what someone else is going through.
36:11
Speaker 2: I'm even like accidentally ghosted. I don't believe in ghosting,
36:14
Speaker 2: but like I've definitely accidentally done it maybe two times,
36:17
Speaker 2: and it was always like I had stuff going on
36:19
Speaker 2: my personal life, like I was dealing with a lot
36:21
Speaker 2: of anxiety, just whatever, and I don't know, I've like
36:24
Speaker 2: come back in like afterwards and kind of apologize and like,
36:28
Speaker 2: I hope you didn't take that to heart, but like
36:30
Speaker 2: you really can't in the moment, because even if you're
36:34
Speaker 2: just giving the person the benefit of the doubt and
36:35
Speaker 2: they're actually just like terrible people, it just helps you,
36:38
Speaker 2: I hope, to move through.
36:39
Speaker 1: Life, me mental health stuff you never know. Yeah, I agree,
36:42
Speaker 1: it helps you. Okay, you've caught men lying plenty of times.
36:46
Speaker 1: Do you ever lie to men?
36:49
Speaker 2: Not really? I'm like, what's a lie? I don't think so, No,
36:54
Speaker 2: I don't. I mean because a lot of people think
36:56
Speaker 2: that I don't tell guys that like I date other
36:59
Speaker 2: guys or whatever, like like, no, I mean, I don't.
37:02
Speaker 2: I feel like there's not really a reason to lie.
37:04
Speaker 2: If you well, there's no reason to ever lie. You
37:08
Speaker 2: should always just be honest. But I think especially when
37:11
Speaker 2: you're just kind of casually dating or like exploring this
37:14
Speaker 2: having fun, I don't really owe anyone anything except for
37:17
Speaker 2: like common respect and like kindness. But yeah, I think
37:22
Speaker 2: I don't really lie.
37:23
Speaker 1: And if somebody wants to be your boyfriend and it's
37:26
Speaker 1: too soon for you or you're not sure, do you
37:29
Speaker 1: just say, like, I'm still dating other people, I'm not ready.
37:32
Speaker 2: Yeah. That actually just happened to me recently, and it
37:34
Speaker 2: was kind of it was difficult, but I yeah, I
37:38
Speaker 2: mean if I'm not ready, I'm not ready. And I
37:40
Speaker 2: think a lot of times as women sometimes were like, oh, well,
37:44
Speaker 2: he really likes me, and there's nothing like he's a
37:46
Speaker 2: good guy, so let me just do it, let me
37:48
Speaker 2: not pass up. Because I remember I was telling a
37:49
Speaker 2: story of like plain Bay I called him and he
37:51
Speaker 2: was great and he wanted to be my boyfriend. I
37:53
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I just don't really think that that's
37:55
Speaker 2: like where we are right now, and people were like,
37:57
Speaker 2: I think that you just self sabotage, Like I think whatever.
38:00
Speaker 2: I was like, why would you say that because I'm
38:03
Speaker 2: not ready to be in a relationship. But I mean,
38:04
Speaker 2: I think as women were expected to always want that,
38:07
Speaker 2: and if someone presents that to you and there's nothing
38:09
Speaker 2: wrong with them, they're perfectly fine, guy, you have to
38:11
Speaker 2: do it.
38:11
Speaker 1: But no, I agree with you.
38:13
Speaker 2: That's not it's not my religion.
38:15
Speaker 1: Okay, you don't believe in texting with men?
38:18
Speaker 2: No, I don't.
38:19
Speaker 1: Either, But I want to know why you don't.
38:23
Speaker 2: I think it's just like I think it creates a
38:25
Speaker 2: false sense of intimacy sometimes if you just like sit
38:28
Speaker 2: in text forever, like girls will tell me. Yeah, I'm
38:31
Speaker 2: like talking to this guy. We haven't gone on a
38:32
Speaker 2: date yet, and I'm like, what how are you? Like?
38:35
Speaker 2: What do you mean? The only talking we're doing before
38:37
Speaker 2: a first date is.
38:38
Speaker 1: Like to plan the day.
38:39
Speaker 2: What time are we going out?
38:40
Speaker 1: You and I are busy people.
38:41
Speaker 2: And like you said, you're an energy person, Like I
38:43
Speaker 2: can't pick up on your energy from a text message,
38:45
Speaker 2: and sometimes you pick up on the wrong energy from
38:47
Speaker 2: text messages.
38:48
Speaker 1: Agreed. Do you ever get on the phone to feel
38:50
Speaker 1: their vibe.
38:51
Speaker 2: Before a date? No, I'm like that's so awkward. I
38:54
Speaker 2: don't even call like my uncle on the phone. I'm
38:56
Speaker 2: gonna like call with this stranger's.
39:00
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the twenty three year old really. Yeah,
39:02
Speaker 1: because I started being like I just don't have a
39:05
Speaker 1: lot of time. Yeah, And I feel like maybe it's
39:09
Speaker 1: is a meat issue, but I don't want to go
39:12
Speaker 1: on a date and I know in two seconds that
39:14
Speaker 1: this was weird, So I like love to hop on
39:16
Speaker 1: the phone.
39:17
Speaker 2: That's real. I totally I get the talking first on
39:20
Speaker 2: the phone before a date, but texting a bunch before
39:22
Speaker 2: you go out, like no.
39:25
Speaker 1: And two women or girls who feel like that's fine
39:29
Speaker 1: and they like to do the texting, what do you say?
39:32
Speaker 2: I say, just don't let it go too far. If
39:35
Speaker 2: you like texting, that's totally fine, but you should also
39:38
Speaker 2: like to meet the person, like for real, and then
39:40
Speaker 2: you guys can text as much as you want after that,
39:42
Speaker 2: but fill it out a little bit first, I think.
39:45
Speaker 2: And if you guys live in the same city, there's
39:46
Speaker 2: no reason why you can't get together.
39:49
Speaker 1: You've had such valuable dating experiences. I'm curious the biggest
39:53
Speaker 1: lesson you've learned about yourself through dating.
39:57
Speaker 2: That's a big question. One thing that I have definitely
40:00
Speaker 2: I seen before. I feel like obviously in dating you
40:03
Speaker 2: learn like more about what you want and what you
40:04
Speaker 2: don't want. But I do think that sometimes i've dated
40:08
Speaker 2: and maybe I've gone through something with someone that kind
40:11
Speaker 2: of made me feel not bad but like I didn't
40:14
Speaker 2: like it, perhaps, and then I've noticed when I've maybe
40:17
Speaker 2: done that to someone else, and I think back to
40:19
Speaker 2: how I felt, and I'm like, wow, you don't even
40:22
Speaker 2: really know until you're presented with like the same situation,
40:26
Speaker 2: and you know, you figure out the way that you act.
40:28
Speaker 2: And so I think it's definitely changed the way that
40:32
Speaker 2: I move in certain ways. But I don't know if
40:35
Speaker 2: there's like one big I'm sure there is one that
40:37
Speaker 2: I just can't think of right now, but one big
40:38
Speaker 2: lesson that I sort of learned about myself.
40:42
Speaker 1: It kind of sounds like the Golden rule.
40:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly.
40:46
Speaker 1: Okay, the doppelbanger phenomenon. Have you heard of this.
40:50
Speaker 2: I don't know what that is, Like a doppel ganger,
40:52
Speaker 2: but a doppel banger.
40:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, Okay. The doppelbanger originally was when you start
40:59
Speaker 1: dating somebody who looks like you, but the term has
41:01
Speaker 1: evolved now it's like when you take on their fashion sense. Really,
41:06
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you some examples. Okay, Bella hadid
41:10
Speaker 1: major doppelbanger. Most recently started dating a cowboy and started
41:16
Speaker 1: dressing like a cowboy. Taylor Swift, she dressed punk when
41:21
Speaker 1: she was with Calvin Harris, folksy with Joe, and now
41:24
Speaker 1: she's doing kind of like ref girl with Travis. Yeah,
41:27
Speaker 1: Courtney Kardashian is a big offender.
41:29
Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes, yes, that I see.
41:31
Speaker 1: With Travis Barker. Okay, Brad Pitt, huge doppelbanger. Really, Gwyneth Paltrow,
41:39
Speaker 1: he was ninety chic, Jennifer Anniston, he was Boho daddy
41:42
Speaker 1: and now he's giving like rich Italian man kind of
41:47
Speaker 1: George Clooney.
41:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I just saw him on the red carpet.
41:50
Speaker 2: Do they have a movie coming out together? Maybe him
41:51
Speaker 2: and George Clooney or okay.
41:53
Speaker 1: I think so, or they were there together. Yeah, but
41:55
Speaker 1: he's dating an Italian girl, and I'm like, oh, this
41:57
Speaker 1: is I think she's Italian. Have you ever doted banged?
42:01
Speaker 2: No? And you know why this is funny? I think
42:04
Speaker 2: the reason why is a lot of the guys that
42:05
Speaker 2: I date are like a little bit older, and so
42:08
Speaker 2: they're like wearing their suits to go against the office
42:11
Speaker 2: or like button downs and slacks or whatever, and then
42:15
Speaker 2: casually guilty of charge. But no, I think aside from
42:21
Speaker 2: this outfit, I feel like I don't know a lot
42:22
Speaker 2: of the guys a day. I like a kind of
42:24
Speaker 2: more serious guy and so not like I don't ever
42:27
Speaker 2: date creatives or like influencers or fashion guys. Like I
42:31
Speaker 2: want someone like serious.
42:33
Speaker 1: Your stepdad scared you?
42:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, exactly. I don't want no fashion like creatives. Yes,
42:40
Speaker 2: more serious, that's really Wait, what about you?
42:43
Speaker 1: Okay, I hate to admit I think I dopple banked.
42:46
Speaker 1: Really I dated a guy, but I think it was
42:49
Speaker 1: for the better.
42:49
Speaker 2: Okay, that's good.
42:51
Speaker 1: Grew up in Chicago and I never really thought about fashion.
42:55
Speaker 1: Not that I mean, there's plenty of fashionable people there,
42:57
Speaker 1: but like it's not at the forefront the city the
42:59
Speaker 1: way it is in New York. In LA, so I
43:01
Speaker 1: just like and my family didn't care.
43:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, my mom cared a little.
43:04
Speaker 1: Anyways, I moved to LA and I started doing red
43:07
Speaker 1: carpets and I looked around and I was like, wait,
43:10
Speaker 1: I look horrible. Yeah, I had to fix this. So
43:13
Speaker 1: I started studying like magazines and this was like the
43:16
Speaker 1: rise of Instagram. Okay, So I started looking online and
43:20
Speaker 1: then I started dating this guy a few years ago
43:23
Speaker 1: who was super fashionable, and I think he elevated my
43:26
Speaker 1: whole vibe.
43:27
Speaker 2: Well, that's good.
43:28
Speaker 1: Honestly, Usually it's the opposite way women to say he
43:32
Speaker 1: elevated me.
43:33
Speaker 2: Well, that's okay, So that's an appropriate and sense of
43:36
Speaker 2: doppel banging. But I don't know how I feel about
43:38
Speaker 2: that as a phenomenon for what I feel like a
43:40
Speaker 2: lot of the times men. But there are a lot
43:41
Speaker 2: of fashionable guys. Honestly, there are more now lately, like
43:45
Speaker 2: a lot. I feel like maybe through TikTok, I'm seeing
43:47
Speaker 2: more of them. But yeah, is it important to you?
43:50
Speaker 2: I mean, I want you to dress like decently. I
43:54
Speaker 2: dated this guy one time who wore a koogie sweater
43:57
Speaker 2: like on ironically just to like a date in Bryant
43:59
Speaker 2: part and I was like, oh no, this is unaccepted.
44:01
Speaker 2: We were like a cooogie sweater with like this comically
44:04
Speaker 2: large like New York Yankees hat, and I don't know
44:07
Speaker 2: if it was just too big for his head or
44:08
Speaker 2: what it was, but that was our last day, I literally,
44:12
Speaker 2: So it's like kind of important, but only if you're
44:14
Speaker 2: like it's like you're cos you're so far.
44:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. Okay, what's the most romantic
44:21
Speaker 1: thing a man has said to you?
44:24
Speaker 2: Wow, has said to me?
44:26
Speaker 1: Like made you melt Okay.
44:29
Speaker 2: So the guy that I was talking about actually plain Bay.
44:32
Speaker 2: I think he was like the most romantic, like emotionally
44:36
Speaker 2: intelligent guy I dated. I can't remember like one seific
44:39
Speaker 2: thing that he said, but I do remember I went
44:41
Speaker 2: to Paris with my mom. My mom had like always
44:43
Speaker 2: jumped of going to Paris, and like growing up, she
44:45
Speaker 2: just wasn't able to do that, and then she had
44:47
Speaker 2: me and my brothers, and so we went to France.
44:49
Speaker 2: We came back and she was in the city with
44:51
Speaker 2: me for a couple of days, and he sent flowers
44:53
Speaker 2: for her and wrote like the sweetest note about this
44:56
Speaker 2: being like her first trip to Paris, and like how
44:58
Speaker 2: incredible was we were able to go together because it
45:00
Speaker 2: was like her lifelong dream. And I told him all that,
45:02
Speaker 2: and I thought that was just the sweetest thing, like
45:04
Speaker 2: to send my mom flowers and have this whole note
45:07
Speaker 2: for her, Like I think I still have it or
45:08
Speaker 2: she has it, but so sweet.
45:10
Speaker 1: That is so thoughtful. Yeah, one time met a guy
45:14
Speaker 1: in Chicago and he brought me I Barbara Walters was
45:18
Speaker 1: my like icon mentor. I never got to meet her,
45:22
Speaker 1: but mentor in my mind. And he bought a signed
45:27
Speaker 1: Barbara Walters book off eBay and gave it to me
45:31
Speaker 1: and then looked at me and was like, I have
45:35
Speaker 1: always wanted to date a beautiful girl, like a really
45:39
Speaker 1: beautiful girl. Like when I was younger, I would look
45:41
Speaker 1: at guys and be like, oh my god, I can't
45:43
Speaker 1: believe he gets to be with her. And then he
45:45
Speaker 1: like looked at it, and I was like, I thought
45:47
Speaker 1: I was gonna melt onto the floor.
45:49
Speaker 2: Oh my god, so so thoughtful. I just I think
45:53
Speaker 2: like thoughtful things like that, honestly, they mean so much.
45:57
Speaker 1: The best, Yeah, the best. He had a recent posts
46:00
Speaker 1: about your standards that really took off.
46:02
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I got like seventy five thousand new
46:05
Speaker 2: followers from that in like a week. What crazy Clark? No,
46:10
Speaker 2: like insane because someone put it on Twitter and it went.
46:14
Speaker 2: It went even more viral on Twitter than it did
46:16
Speaker 2: on TikTok. It went bananas crazy.
46:21
Speaker 1: Okay, I guess can you share what you said before
46:23
Speaker 1: we start to unhapp because I want to understand what
46:26
Speaker 1: resonated with people.
46:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, so basically, I mean, like I talked about earlier,
46:29
Speaker 2: I grew up like did not have a lot of money.
46:32
Speaker 2: I had a vision for myself that I outlined and
46:34
Speaker 2: I really stuck to it. And so now like with
46:36
Speaker 2: the life that I'm able to live and the lifestyle
46:39
Speaker 2: I have is something I've always worked for, I really
46:41
Speaker 2: want a partner that matches that same like drive matches
46:45
Speaker 2: the same kind of lifestyle. And then I also mentioned like,
46:48
Speaker 2: I know a lot of guys my age are not
46:49
Speaker 2: gonna be able to have what I have is because
46:51
Speaker 2: I got so lucky with content creation. But as long
46:54
Speaker 2: as I see that you know, you have the same
46:55
Speaker 2: sort of driver ambition and you want the same life
46:58
Speaker 2: that I ultimately do, I that's a kind of person
47:00
Speaker 2: I really want to be with. And oh my god,
47:03
Speaker 2: some people really loved it. I think on TikTok a
47:05
Speaker 2: lot of people resonated with it. On Twitter. They were
47:08
Speaker 2: like tearing me apart because they're, oh my god, you're
47:11
Speaker 2: so classies and you're so elitist, like you're talking down
47:14
Speaker 2: on people, like so you think that your family is
47:16
Speaker 2: terrible because they were poor, And I'm like, WHOA, when
47:19
Speaker 2: did I say any of that? Like it was it
47:22
Speaker 2: was crazy.
47:23
Speaker 1: Did all the heat bother you? Or you were okay?
47:25
Speaker 1: And you're because you like know and stood in your thought.
47:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean because I was so careful with what
47:31
Speaker 2: I said. And also I'm no stranger to like Twitter
47:33
Speaker 2: and TikTok controversy. Since I started making videos, I've had
47:36
Speaker 2: so many thing pieces written about me and like all
47:39
Speaker 2: types of things. So I know that people are gonna
47:41
Speaker 2: be one committed to misunderstanding me. And a lot of
47:43
Speaker 2: people too were like, oh, she's a sugar baby, Like
47:44
Speaker 2: I wouldn't listen to anything that she says, and so
47:46
Speaker 2: I'm like, now, you guys are just you're just lying
47:48
Speaker 2: for shits and you get to.
47:50
Speaker 1: Tell you that would bother me. Really, the sugar baby
47:53
Speaker 1: thing would bother me because, like, you know how hard
47:55
Speaker 1: you've worked, and to be reduced or deduced to that
47:58
Speaker 1: is I think would hurt my soul.
48:00
Speaker 2: Well, I think because I know how hard I've worked.
48:02
Speaker 2: I'm like, you thinking that means like this much to
48:06
Speaker 2: me because I know you know, and also like the
48:08
Speaker 2: people who matter, so you know, I'm the one being
48:11
Speaker 2: invited to the White House to do these things, to
48:14
Speaker 2: go to the Olympics, Like, I don't know what you're
48:17
Speaker 2: up to, but you know you say I'm a sugar baby.
48:19
Speaker 2: It's fine. My bills are still paid at the end
48:20
Speaker 2: of the day, and I'm still loving my life, so whatever.
48:24
Speaker 1: Wow, there's this quote my friend told me a while ago,
48:28
Speaker 1: if you marry for money, you pay for it the
48:29
Speaker 1: rest of your life. M what do you think about that?
48:33
Speaker 2: I think that's a great quote because a lot of
48:35
Speaker 2: people are also saying to me like, oh, yeah, well,
48:37
Speaker 2: I mean she's a liar, Like I know she would
48:39
Speaker 2: date because I said I wouldn't date outside of like
48:41
Speaker 2: my class or where I'm at, and like she would
48:44
Speaker 2: date a billionaire, which is actually not true. I would
48:46
Speaker 2: not date a billionaire because I've definitely dated guys before
48:49
Speaker 2: who made a lot more than I did. Like now,
48:51
Speaker 2: I don't have that experience, Like when I first moved
48:53
Speaker 2: to New York and I was just a college student
48:54
Speaker 2: and working like normal jobs. There's a certain level of like, i'
49:00
Speaker 2: like feeling like anyone has anything over me. And I
49:02
Speaker 2: think when a guy knows that he can give you
49:05
Speaker 2: a life that you can't give yourself. I don't even
49:08
Speaker 2: think that some guys do it intentionally to be like
49:11
Speaker 2: cruel or anything, but like there's a certain level of
49:15
Speaker 2: I can kind of do this. You can't really touch
49:17
Speaker 2: me because I know that if we break up tomorrow,
49:21
Speaker 2: like you're gonna have to go back to some life
49:22
Speaker 2: that you're not gonna like. And so I want whoever
49:24
Speaker 2: I'm with. The lifestyle we have together is not anything
49:27
Speaker 2: that I can't provide for myself. And I always think
49:29
Speaker 2: this is so random. I always think about Betty and
49:32
Speaker 2: Dan Broderick. If you know that story, Oh oh my god,
49:35
Speaker 2: I could literally go on forever about it, but basically
49:38
Speaker 2: tell me Betty Broderick, she's in prison right now for
49:41
Speaker 2: killing her husband and his mistress, Dan Broderick. And so
49:44
Speaker 2: they met in college and he ended up going to
49:46
Speaker 2: like Harvard law school and like medical school at an
49:49
Speaker 2: ivy league, like he was a doctor and a lawyer,
49:51
Speaker 2: and she supported him through everything, like she stopped working
49:54
Speaker 2: to have kids and take care of him. And then
49:56
Speaker 2: he ends up getting a mistress like his assistant. He
49:58
Speaker 2: starts sleeping with her, then ends up proposing to her.
50:02
Speaker 2: But like this is after she finds out that he
50:05
Speaker 2: started cheating, and so she brings it to him and
50:07
Speaker 2: he basically says to her, like, you know, she says
50:09
Speaker 2: something like you know, I don't want you in the
50:11
Speaker 2: house right now, whatever, and he said back to her,
50:14
Speaker 2: something along the lines of like, you know, if anyone's
50:16
Speaker 2: leaving this house, like it's you. I pay for your clothes,
50:18
Speaker 2: I pay for this house, like everything. After they've been
50:20
Speaker 2: together for decades and she had just poured so much
50:22
Speaker 2: into their life together, and I like that story just
50:26
Speaker 2: always oh my, it's so insane to me. And the
50:28
Speaker 2: way that he treated her afterwards was just so terrible.
50:31
Speaker 2: And so that's why I always tell girls, like, have
50:33
Speaker 2: your own stuff, like I'm not asking for anything more
50:35
Speaker 2: than what I have, because I don't ever want to
50:38
Speaker 2: be in a situation where you feel like you've given
50:40
Speaker 2: me anything, like we're equals. I want an equal partnership.
50:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, And I want to be treated like
50:46
Speaker 1: an equal in the house too, Like if you're I
50:49
Speaker 1: don't want you to pay the rent and then I
50:51
Speaker 1: feel like I have to do all the chores or yeah,
50:53
Speaker 1: whatever that trade off is.
50:54
Speaker 2: Because people even are like I would never do fifty
50:56
Speaker 2: to fifty with someone, and I'm like, that conversation is
50:58
Speaker 2: a whole other thing. But I'm I'm like, I don't
51:00
Speaker 2: think there's anything wrong with building a life with like
51:02
Speaker 2: your partner, and if that means you're growing fifty to
51:04
Speaker 2: fifty on this or fifty fifty on the chores, whatever
51:06
Speaker 2: it is. I mean, the percentage thing is so ridiculous
51:08
Speaker 2: because it always ends up being you know this variable.
51:11
Speaker 2: But yeah, so no, I agree. I think if you
51:14
Speaker 2: marry solely for money, you don't marry for the person
51:16
Speaker 2: seeing you as an equal and like really respecting you
51:18
Speaker 2: and your wishes, you will pay for it forever.
51:21
Speaker 1: I agree. Okay, hook up culture, you have a take.
51:26
Speaker 1: I do so as a millennial. Everyone in this room
51:29
Speaker 1: is probably millennial and laughing because we all grew up
51:33
Speaker 1: with hookup culture like it was actually kind of it
51:36
Speaker 1: was weird to have a boyfriend or girlfriend or be
51:38
Speaker 1: in a relationship, like why would you ever do that?
51:40
Speaker 2: Really?
51:41
Speaker 1: And I think your generation saw that that was so bad. Well,
51:46
Speaker 1: I feel like it's really.
51:47
Speaker 2: Big still maybe in my generation honestly really yeah. Well, also,
51:51
Speaker 2: now I probably rely date mostly millennials, so let me
51:56
Speaker 2: maybe that's warping my view, but I posted a video
51:59
Speaker 2: recently about the fact that like a lot of guys
52:01
Speaker 2: expect you to sleep with them after like a dinner date,
52:05
Speaker 2: and a lot of girls who follow me who are
52:06
Speaker 2: a gen Z, they say like, yeah, I feel like
52:08
Speaker 2: guys pressure me into doing things. You're like wanting to
52:10
Speaker 2: do things because they've you know, bought me a drink
52:13
Speaker 2: or something like. It's now an expectation that you're gonna
52:16
Speaker 2: want to be physical after like a first date, which
52:18
Speaker 2: I don't like.
52:19
Speaker 1: I hate that.
52:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I think if you operate from the standpoint
52:22
Speaker 2: that like, not everyone's gonna want to do that, and
52:24
Speaker 2: maybe only some people will, you find that like, you're
52:27
Speaker 2: not going to put so many people in really uncomfortable situations,
52:30
Speaker 2: Whereas if you go the opposite route, it very quickly
52:33
Speaker 2: becomes like I'm being pressed into doing something with my
52:35
Speaker 2: body that I don't want to do, and that's like
52:38
Speaker 2: obviously terrible. But if you're like, oh, maybe this will happen,
52:40
Speaker 2: maybe it won't, and then you see what the other
52:42
Speaker 2: person wants to do, it's a much better way to date.
52:45
Speaker 1: I completely agree. Yeah, sometimes I don't even want to hug.
52:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I don't hate kissing. This is like so funny.
52:52
Speaker 2: I always say this same I would keep my eyes
52:54
Speaker 2: open when I kissed.
52:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, that's.
52:57
Speaker 2: Whenever I'm talking about this. So people are like that,
53:00
Speaker 2: even when you like some same. I mean, I just
53:03
Speaker 2: it shouldn't really last that long. I'm like, okay, let's
53:05
Speaker 2: get this over with, like wrap it up, you know
53:07
Speaker 2: what I mean.
53:08
Speaker 1: Some people like to kiss on the first state. I don't.
53:11
Speaker 1: I'm like, don't touch me. I don't even know you.
53:13
Speaker 2: I know it's like a very I think it's a
53:15
Speaker 2: very intimate thing. And then kissing and like especially if
53:18
Speaker 2: you're open, like not just be for real, like like yeah,
53:23
Speaker 2: it's a lot and I respect other people wanting to
53:25
Speaker 2: do that, but I'm like, just keep your talking in
53:28
Speaker 2: your mouth when you're the same.
53:29
Speaker 1: I don't even want a v DK a very delicate kiss. No,
53:32
Speaker 1: thank you? Yeah yeah that's a VDK. Yeah I don't
53:36
Speaker 1: want that.
53:37
Speaker 2: No, no, bye, you can wait a little shugger like
53:42
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, great, thanks nice one.
53:47
Speaker 1: This why I'm single? Okay. Can we talk about race
53:49
Speaker 1: on the internet?
53:50
Speaker 2: Yeah?
53:51
Speaker 1: Are you comfortable talking about it?
53:52
Speaker 2: Yeah?
53:53
Speaker 1: Okay? When you see creators that you may know or
53:59
Speaker 1: not know have a history of racist tweets or something
54:04
Speaker 1: racist online, yeah, how do you feel?
54:08
Speaker 2: I think it's interesting. So I posted a video last year,
54:12
Speaker 2: can I name drop? Yeah? Okay? So I posted a
54:14
Speaker 2: video last year about I think their names are London, Olivia.
54:17
Speaker 2: They had like some tweets come out and it was
54:19
Speaker 2: like a huge thing, and I think my take on
54:22
Speaker 2: it is like I don't know that I feel like
54:26
Speaker 2: it personally hurts me now. But something I think about
54:28
Speaker 2: is the fact that a lot of parents, I think
54:31
Speaker 2: are not I think that in other races, especially outside
54:35
Speaker 2: of like being a minority, especially being a black person
54:38
Speaker 2: in America, like a lot of parents don't put enough
54:43
Speaker 2: a time and attention into really making sure their children
54:46
Speaker 2: understand race because it's not something they have to think
54:48
Speaker 2: about every day. So in the video I made, I
54:50
Speaker 2: was talking about the fact that, like growing up, my
54:52
Speaker 2: mom made me watch Roots, like the Slavery Show, and
54:55
Speaker 2: we had to watch all the movies, like every installment,
54:57
Speaker 2: and it was always something that was very important to
54:59
Speaker 2: teach because it's something we're going to encounter throughout our lives.
55:03
Speaker 2: And on the flip side, I think if you asked
55:05
Speaker 2: a lot of white kids what's roots, they wouldn't know,
55:07
Speaker 2: Like who's coots Kent? They would have no clue. And
55:10
Speaker 2: so it's something that I don't think that black parents
55:13
Speaker 2: in America, or you know, Asian parents or Hispanic parents
55:16
Speaker 2: should bear the brunt of like having to teach their
55:19
Speaker 2: kids about race that they can deal with racism when
55:22
Speaker 2: they encounter it. If white kids don't have to be
55:25
Speaker 2: taught how not to be racist, Like what things are insensitive?
55:29
Speaker 2: What things are just downright insane? I mean to say
55:32
Speaker 2: those things, and to think about the fact that like
55:34
Speaker 2: Ruby Bridges is still alive, Say she just posted something
55:36
Speaker 2: about Kamala Harris, you know, becoming president, and like, you know,
55:40
Speaker 2: John Lewis just recently died and he like I remember
55:43
Speaker 2: seeing him on TV accepting an apology from someone who
55:46
Speaker 2: like beat him on the like Selma Bridge. Like there's
55:49
Speaker 2: a lot of real trauma that still exists today and
55:52
Speaker 2: a lot of people who are not that old who
55:54
Speaker 2: are fighting for these things. And so to see like
55:56
Speaker 2: fifteen year old kids tweeting like words that were spewed
56:01
Speaker 2: and hatred and it's like it's crazy. I think a
56:04
Speaker 2: lot of the onus, like falls on parents, White parents
56:08
Speaker 2: understanding that they have a responsibility to teach their children
56:11
Speaker 2: the same way that other parents do and it's uncomfortable
56:13
Speaker 2: and nobody wants to do it. But if black parents
56:15
Speaker 2: and Espanning parents and minority parents have to do it,
56:17
Speaker 2: then I mean you should as well.
56:19
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I actually haven't heard people talk
56:21
Speaker 1: about the parents' involvement in it, because we are talking
56:25
Speaker 1: about the person who was racist and not the parents. Yeah.
56:30
Speaker 1: There was a creator named Horace Grant that posted a
56:32
Speaker 1: video that I sent it to every human being I knew.
56:36
Speaker 1: I was so impressed and moved by what he said.
56:40
Speaker 1: It was a long video, but I'm just going to
56:42
Speaker 1: read you a quick quote. He said, it's so exhausting
56:44
Speaker 1: to be black on the Internet. And I can bleep
56:47
Speaker 1: out her name because I don't mean to call her out,
56:49
Speaker 1: but I've liked from the beginning, and I wish you
56:52
Speaker 1: guys could feel how frustrating this is. I feel like
56:54
Speaker 1: I'm constantly left out of things because I can't actually
56:57
Speaker 1: engage with the Internet the way everyone else does without
57:00
Speaker 1: lurking fear or lurking confirmation that some influencer that I'm
57:03
Speaker 1: engaging with the way everyone else on the internet is will, somehow,
57:07
Speaker 1: some way always have a history that blocks me from
57:09
Speaker 1: being able to simply enjoy social media.
57:12
Speaker 2: I was at the end of the quote, Yeah, I
57:15
Speaker 2: think that is like he's a mutual of mine or
57:17
Speaker 2: their mutual money. Yeah, and I wholeheartedly agree. I think
57:20
Speaker 2: it's like it's crazy that it's become something that you
57:24
Speaker 2: almost expect. It's like if you love a creator or
57:27
Speaker 2: just a celebrity whoever, it's like inevitable that something is
57:31
Speaker 2: going to come out. And I think even with other
57:33
Speaker 2: protected groups, like if you go back to someone's tweets
57:35
Speaker 2: and they've been homophobic or like transphobic, it's like, God,
57:39
Speaker 2: can we just exist and not have to worry about
57:42
Speaker 2: that like looming over our heads? Because there are whole
57:44
Speaker 2: groups of people, you know, straight white men whoever, like
57:47
Speaker 2: who don't have to experience that, like they don't have
57:50
Speaker 2: that looming fear anything.
57:52
Speaker 1: How do you deal with it when you see these
57:55
Speaker 1: people later on at like events or I feel like I've.
57:59
Speaker 2: Not really wanted I don't really go to that many events,
58:01
Speaker 2: and like we were talking about that earlier, but I
58:03
Speaker 2: don't know, like i've I don't know that I've ever
58:05
Speaker 2: really seen anyone after like a scandal blows up or
58:09
Speaker 2: something like in person.
58:11
Speaker 1: And had to deal with it. Yeah, I'm Jewish, and
58:14
Speaker 1: I feel it on the internet all the time in
58:16
Speaker 1: a different way obviously, but It's like one second I'm
58:20
Speaker 1: watching someone unbox like their new brown suede boots, and
58:25
Speaker 1: then I scroll and it's like, whoa, Yeah, I just
58:28
Speaker 1: was trying to enjoy the internet, right, it's a wild thing.
58:32
Speaker 2: No, it's really it's difficult to navigate. And I think
58:34
Speaker 2: especially now, because everyone talks about everything. This is something.
58:39
Speaker 2: I love podcasts. Well love podcasts. I love certain people's podcasts,
58:43
Speaker 2: but I feel like one thing with podcast culture is
58:46
Speaker 2: like now everyone has an opinion on every subject, and
58:48
Speaker 2: I think sometimes people will talk about things and I'm like,
58:51
Speaker 2: you're maybe not the right person to deliver that message.
58:53
Speaker 2: And I think it's kind of I think it's gone
58:55
Speaker 2: to every single platform. I think people talk about a
59:00
Speaker 2: lot of things and I'm like, oh, that is really
59:02
Speaker 2: insensitive or like, oh, I don't know if that's you
59:05
Speaker 2: know what I mean. Like, I don't think that people
59:06
Speaker 2: have sometimes a cultural or like just awareness and understanding
59:11
Speaker 2: to like delve into really sensitive topics, and so when
59:13
Speaker 2: they do, you'll be like I was literally just looking
59:15
Speaker 2: at brown sweet boots and now I'm like, what is this?
59:18
Speaker 2: Like this is yeah, it's crazy.
59:20
Speaker 1: I do think when kids are twelve and thirteen it's
59:25
Speaker 1: hard to hold them accountable for anything. It's like it
59:27
Speaker 1: is their parents, it's their schools, it's their environment. Yeah,
59:31
Speaker 1: so I'm not angry and hateful towards these people, but
59:35
Speaker 1: I never forget it.
59:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do think part of it is sometimes we
59:39
Speaker 2: allow people to think that certain things are like, oh,
59:42
Speaker 2: you're just young, and like you're gonna make mistakes and
59:45
Speaker 2: you're whatever. We should operate from a standpoint that like
59:49
Speaker 2: even young people, if you're a teenager, prety or whatever,
59:52
Speaker 2: like you do have some like agency and you should
59:56
Speaker 2: have some cultural understanding, like things are wrong or what. Yeah,
1:00:01
Speaker 2: some things you shouldn't have to like grow into humanity,
1:00:04
Speaker 2: like being a kind person. And so yeah, you're young,
1:00:07
Speaker 2: and like, yes, we understand that people are they make
1:00:10
Speaker 2: baptists when they're younger, but like it doesn't always have
1:00:12
Speaker 2: to be like a super negative, terrible offensive mistake that
1:00:17
Speaker 2: you make when you're younger. We can all kind of agreed,
1:00:20
Speaker 2: let's let's leave that. We don't have to do that.
1:00:23
Speaker 1: I hear you on that. Yeah, a little rapid fire. Yeah, okay, okay,
1:00:27
Speaker 1: one thing every woman should try once.
1:00:30
Speaker 2: Ooh, the first thing in my head was being single.
1:00:33
Speaker 2: But that's because I talk about like the white couch
1:00:36
Speaker 2: era thing on my page, like existing and being younger
1:00:39
Speaker 2: and literally any age and just like being single, no kids,
1:00:42
Speaker 2: no partner anything, just like to live your life. I
1:00:45
Speaker 2: think it's such an insane experience.
1:00:48
Speaker 1: A travel destination you'd recommend everybody go to and one
1:00:51
Speaker 1: to skip out on.
1:00:52
Speaker 2: Oh okay, South of France one for everyone, and then
1:00:55
Speaker 2: one to skip out on. God, I can't. I feel
1:00:57
Speaker 2: like every place I've been to has been so amazing.
1:00:59
Speaker 2: One to skip that's a hard one, honestly. Maybe like Miami.
1:01:05
Speaker 2: I feel like everyone wants to go to Miami, and
1:01:06
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's fun, but like, go somewhere else.
1:01:11
Speaker 1: I love Miami. Go to New York dates.
1:01:15
Speaker 2: Spot ooh I love bird Dog is a good one.
1:01:19
Speaker 1: One thing you will never apologize for being myself. A
1:01:23
Speaker 1: book that changed your life, something you think everybody should read.
1:01:27
Speaker 2: That's a good one. The other Wes Moore or A
1:01:30
Speaker 2: Long Way Gone By.
1:01:31
Speaker 1: Ishmael Baya, Okay, grab that card game?
1:01:33
Speaker 2: Okay, ok this is beautiful.
1:01:39
Speaker 1: Oh thank you.
1:01:40
Speaker 2: Okay, let's see. Do you want to grab anyone? Yeah?
1:01:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, the red one is just the instructions though.
1:01:46
Speaker 2: Oh oh, oh, okay, I'm going to try to do
1:01:48
Speaker 2: like one in the middle. What do you need help
1:01:51
Speaker 2: with most right now? Oh that's a good question. Where
1:01:55
Speaker 2: do I need help with most right now? This is
1:01:57
Speaker 2: like very not deep, but I think like getting I
1:02:02
Speaker 2: feel like I have so many ideas and so many
1:02:04
Speaker 2: things I want to do right now, and I'm so
1:02:06
Speaker 2: used to doing everything on my own and like being
1:02:09
Speaker 2: a perfection I'm sure you can relate. Like in school,
1:02:11
Speaker 2: I was always I don't like group projects, like I
1:02:12
Speaker 2: want to do everything on my own. But you really
1:02:14
Speaker 2: do have to outsource, like a lot of things, even
1:02:17
Speaker 2: like with mental health, like sometimes you can't deal with
1:02:19
Speaker 2: everything on your own. You need like a therapist. You
1:02:20
Speaker 2: need to figure things out. And so I think I
1:02:22
Speaker 2: need like I'm not even in therapy. You need like
1:02:24
Speaker 2: a therapist. I need like an editor, I need a podcast,
1:02:27
Speaker 2: I need everything.
1:02:28
Speaker 1: You need a staff, I do. Okay, what is the
1:02:31
Speaker 1: smartest decision you've ever made?
1:02:33
Speaker 2: Clark Ooh, I think the smartest decision I've ever made
1:02:37
Speaker 2: was probably coming to New York for school. Honestly, I
1:02:41
Speaker 2: think I learned so much. I met so many amazing people,
1:02:45
Speaker 2: my best friends, I met living here I've been able
1:02:47
Speaker 2: to date so many different types of people, learn more
1:02:49
Speaker 2: about other cultures, and learn more about myself. And yeah,
1:02:52
Speaker 2: I think a lot of the opportunities I have now
1:02:54
Speaker 2: are a result of coming here. And so yeah, that
1:02:57
Speaker 2: was probably my best decision was moving here.
1:02:59
Speaker 1: Was bet on yourself.
1:03:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's paid off.
1:03:03
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. I so appreciate your time.
1:03:07
Speaker 2: This was so fun.
1:03:13
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what time it is. Today is a
1:03:16
Speaker 1: good day. To have a good day. I'll see you
1:03:18
Speaker 1: next week.