Latest / Just Heal with Dr Jay / "Football Almost Broke Me" with Former NFL Star Jason Verrett

Transcript

"Football Almost Broke Me" with Former NFL Star Jason Verrett · Just Heal with Dr Jay

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Just Heal with Doctor J, a production of
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. Welcome back to
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: another episode Just Heal with Doctor J, and I am
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: your host, Doctor J. Listen. Some of you have been
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: watching the episodes, and I want to tell you stop eavesdropping.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Go ahead and hit that subscribe button and join the
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: healing community. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to create
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: space and to foster moments of healing and moments of clarity,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: as so many people have shared this story that you
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: guys know. I love to bring everyone to the community,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: celebrities of the everyday person, singers, artists, and today I
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: get to bring one of my brothers, man an NFL brother,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: And to me, we're sitting down not talking about the athlete,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: but today we get to hear from the man, Jason Verrett,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: my brother. I want to say, welcome to the healing journey, Vash.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I say to the healing community. So today
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I'm excited about my guests. Jason Verrett a phenomenal player
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: here homegrown in the DFW area TCU Horned Frogs. I
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: went to school a couple hours away from him, Tarton State.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Both purple and white. But TCU had a lot more
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: money than Tawton did, so that's another story. But I'm
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: excited to have my brother drafted by the Chargers and
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: then played for the Niners. And we're gonna take our
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: time because I spent some time talking with my brother
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: and came to know him from another brother that I
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: met in the Bay Area. And if you don't know
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: anything about brothers that live in the Bay Area, man,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I love their personalities. Man. I love the way that
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: they connect. I love the way that they just they
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: just be. You know, it's authentic. And one of the
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: things that I noticed Jade when we connected and we
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: were talking on the phone. And of course, you know,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: we connect through football and we connect through the lived
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: experience of being athletes. But what I love about you, brother,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: is how we connected just from some share of life experience,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: which we'll get into, man, But I want to open up,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: as I ask every guest where they come on the show, man,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: how you feel it in this moment? Well, right in
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: this moment, I'm good. Yeah.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: It took a while for me to get here to
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: be able to even say that, but I felt throughout
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  Speaker 2: the journey.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: And where I got and I'm happy to where I'm at. Man,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I love that man, And you know, I hear this
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: often now guys are talking about the journey and that
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: word journey, right, you think about when I hear the
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: word journey, I often think about a marathon because it's
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: it's ongoing for you. When you hear that word journey,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: what does it mean to you? Process? Ooh, I had.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I had a tough process, you know, even coming from
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: junior college and transitioning from receiver, playing corner, going to
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: tease you, having some ups and downs in college room
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: for my first year, dealing with a rivalry game between
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: the Baylor Bears the TCU RG three national television, my
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: first time ever playing on national television, get bombed for
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: three touchdowns. We lose that game, and I dealt with
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: a lot just being on campus. I dealt with a
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: lot with even social media people telling me to go
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: back to Juco, people telling me that I sucked, and
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: they put me into a form of depression at that time,
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: being at that was like my first game on television
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: and I was just in a dark, dark space. Didn't
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: want to play no more. Call my people like, man,
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: I'm going home. But I had a time with my
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I had a mom with my coach. A week three,
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: the third game of that season, he brought me to
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: his office. We had a detailed conversation and just in
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: a short term of who I want to be. So
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I wanted I came here to not only get an education,
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: when I came here to take my talent to the
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: next level. And that was a tough conversation that we had.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: But then you know, the rest was history after that.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: And I want to I want to comb through that
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: because for a lot of people watching now, I transition
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: from playing linebacker and playing fullback, but I played for
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: both position. You made that change from receiver to the dB,
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: which is I mean people, it sounds like it can
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: be an easy transition, but people don't realize as the
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: GBU run baffles at full speed. So having to make
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: that transition and going from JUCO and then going to
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: a school such as TCU at that time their rank,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: they're coming off of a lot of success. Here you
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: are a young man who nobody's like to play in
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  Speaker 1: the game, but to play a game on a bigger
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: stage where all of these ads are on you, and
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  Speaker 1: I don't think people who are non athletes realize the
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: pressure and especially now with social media, man, and having
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: to deal with the scrutiny and to be ostracized consistently,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: and as you said in that game, three touchdowns are
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: scored on you and you go from not being able
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: to even process what happened on the field. Now if
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: you're in a process on campus, what was that like?
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Man, it's tough just because you know, social media just
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: was kicking off around the time the twitters are sure
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: was them and things like that, because I was in
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: twenty eleven, and so it was tough. I mean, that
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: was my first experience. So I had walking around campus. Yeah,
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: hearing people telling you that go back to juco Hanlon
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  Speaker 2: saying that you saw going on the twitters and things
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: like that, and just seeing all the backlash, and you know,
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: being that.
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  Speaker 1: I was only nineteen years.
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  Speaker 2: Old, there was a lot of pressure on and so
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  Speaker 2: I had to battle through it. But it was tough
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  Speaker 2: just because you know, I'm out there. I'm from California
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: moving all the way out to Texas. I was alone.
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  Speaker 2: But it's something that I look back on that shaped
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: me too. Yeah, because we're like because not that within
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: itself cause I played with guys from Cali. Yeah, that's
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: a tough transition for a lot of Cali guys that
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: make in Texas. What was your biggest challenge leaving Cali
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: coming to Texas.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: That heat, that heat, that heat, man, that weather was difference.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: You know, we out there practicing in one hundred and
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: ten degrees forty fifty. That was probably the toughest part.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: And out here with these Texas boys, that's what they
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: was used to. So the grind was just instilled in them,
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: and so I had to match that intensity.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Yo, what about the culture?
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: The culture was different, you know, just because Texas just
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: that's a football state, you know, even though California is,
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: but just coming from where I was at, it's not
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: a lot of people that make it out and go
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: to these you know, top top colleges in the country
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: and things like that were in Texas.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: You know, they lifting and doing.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: All those things in high school year round, you know
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  Speaker 2: what I mean. And so we didn't really have that
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  Speaker 2: in a high school structure the way that they have
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: out here. So it was learning to adapt and just
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: putting forth to ground.
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  Speaker 1: So you make the transition, and from a culture perspective,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: football is like, like we moved here from Mississippi and
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I realized football is like god here. Yeah, so you
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: have that culture change. Did you notice any difference in
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: just behaviors and personalities being from Cali and how guys
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: here in Texas, how they talk, how they act, how
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: they behave what culture shift or culture's sort of shocks
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  Speaker 1: that you have to navigate through.
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  Speaker 2: It was mainly just the football aspect of how big
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  Speaker 2: it is, and just in that game alone, like they're
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: already used to those white lights.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: You know, you've seen Friday night lights.
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  Speaker 2: Those are high school people that's used to just being
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: on those platforms, and that was the first for me.
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  Speaker 2: So it was a culture shock in that aspect, and
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  Speaker 2: it was something that I had to transition and get
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: used to being at and now coming from JUCO and
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: now going to a school that's ranked three in the country,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: so those bright lights was going to be shining on us.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: And then from there my sophomore year there because I
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: went to JUCO, plate there for a year and it
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: came three years at TCU. For my sophomore year, we
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: were just in the Mount West, so we only playing
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: the boiss New Mexicos and smaller schools. But my junior
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: senior we went to the Big twelve, so we had Oklahoma,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Oklahoma State, Texas Tech, Texas, Texas, so we were only
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: gonna be on those those are those bright stages. So
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I felt my first year was like that transition for
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: what we was last too, was like when you think
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: back to that transition, going from a juco to a
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: major university, playing on a huge stage, managing.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: The stress and the pressures, how did that impact your
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: mental health as you were trying to navigate all of
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: it because it was new to you. Because see what
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: people don't realize. The game of football wasn't new to you,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: but how you were perceived right in the way that
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: you played the game right? What what did you have
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: to navigate through from a mental perspective?
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  Speaker 2: Man, After that game, it was it was pretty dark
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: for me. I really didn't even want to leave my
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  Speaker 2: dorm just because I was kind of a freie to
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: have to keep hearing those repeated things that I was seeing.
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  Speaker 2: And so I remember the next week after we played Baylor,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: we played air Force and going up there, I didn't play.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: I got benched because of the previous game. So that
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: was my first time ever being part of a game
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  Speaker 2: and not playing. And so when I got back, I'm
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: telling myself, I'm out, I'm gone. And so it was
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: a lot of pressure that I was having because now
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: I'm feeding into what I'm seeing and starting to believe it,
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: and so it's putting my mind into those dark places.
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  Speaker 1: Put my mind in that fears putting.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: Now I'm got suicidal ideations coming in and thinking I
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: just wanted to remove myself totality just from this specific situation.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: So in that moment, you know, I had a I
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: set a very powerful phone call with my brother at
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: the time, and we talked probably for like an hour
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: or two hours on the phone.
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  Speaker 1: I skipped practice, didn't go to practice that day.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: They blowing my phone up, people knocking on my doors,
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: buy on the phone, crying with my brother, just telling
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: them like how I don't want to do this no more,
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  Speaker 2: I'm done, blah blah blah.
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  Speaker 1: We had a powerful conversation that.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Ended up leading to one of the gas getting through
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: the dorms, getting to my room.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Like Jason would know you in there. I end up
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: opening it.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: We had a little talking and that's when I went
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: down to speak with the coach. So in the mix
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: of that, I say, within those twenty four hours, it
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: was a lot that I had to hone in and
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: then same time make a decision to keep pushing.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: What stood out to you that your brother said.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: That we've rets and that's my last name, and we
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: we stand tall whenever we're going through any type of opposition.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's your forrets and you stand tall. It's in
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: the opposition. Has that Does that still ring in you today? Absolutely?
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Still range because life's still been going on and I
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: still been on the journey of not more so trying
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: to prove myself, but to find myself. So I've gotten
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: to that point to where I can now reflect and
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: look back and be proud of the decision that I'm inde.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and obviously you stayed as you end up in
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: a first round draft pick. Yeah to the Chargers. And
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: for most people, you experienced success in the league early one.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: For most guys right drafted or undrafted, it takes a
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: while for them to find their footing right. It's kind
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: of because people don't realize the league is all about
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: You got to be in the right system and the
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: right system at the right time for everything to just
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: kind of be a perfect storm. So you have success
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: early on, and having that success early on, did that
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: increase or in some way impact your confidence to say, Okay,
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I made it at this far, I know exactly what
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: I'm doing and who I am now.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just as you know, being a first round draft pick,
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: you coming with expectations from the organization, expectation for yourself,
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: expectation for the fans, your family, and I exceeded those.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: You know, I was a pro bowler in my second
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: year going into my third year, you know, really just
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: needed to play that season as secure a big bag
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: at the.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Time, and so it went downhill quick.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Right after my first two years is when wow, adversity
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: for me really started.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: What was the first thing that shifted that? Like when
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: you felt like, dang, it's this tiredest tourney.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I tore my ACL in the fourth game of the
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: season my third year.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: And to tell your ACL that early in your career,
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: after having as much success, man, I can only imagine
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: what that did to you. Ecologically. Yeah, it was a lot.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Because I had ended up having three knee surgeries in
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: that year I had the ACL. The rehab process didn't
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: really go too well. Started to build get a lot
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: of scar tusue built up in my knee where I
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: could straighten.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: It, could bend it got MRIs.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: End up getting a scope to try to clean out
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: the scar tissue that didn't work, went back to bending,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: couldn't bend it, couln't straighten it, and then had to
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: get another bilateral release surgery to remove because I had
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: a cyclops fibrosis. It's like the size of golf ball
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: s car tissue behind my pa tailler and I had
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: to get that removed and that took six months. So
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: I ended up missing two years just based off of
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: that first those years after your first three and the
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: first initial ACL surgery. YEP, I ended up missing two
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: seasons because.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: So now you're five years in where you mentally man.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: Dark dark lost, just being that you know, this ain't
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: it wasn't something that I seen coming. I'm coming off
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: of high, being a pro bowler, coming off a high
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: and having a good year, and then going through that
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: first ACL and then having the roller coasters just with
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: that rehab process, Yeah, it just put me in a
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: clouded situation and then losing another season.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, was just in a dark, dark place, you know,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: as you're talking now, my mind is shift into how
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: life is. It's as if Charles Dickinson said, this is
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: the tail of two towers. It was the best of
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: times and it was the worst of times. And it's
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: almost like it's these two contrasting statements right that in
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: my clinical and doctor had they're paradoxic because you're like,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: how can it on one end, I just had a
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: great beginning half all of my NFL career, and all
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: of a sudden, as it is the best of times
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: of coming off this high, it's also becoming the worst
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: of times, and I'm having to hold all of it
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: because I'm still viewed as the Pro Bowl, right because
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: in sports, you're only good at your last, but in
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: your last, this is how you went out. Whether it's
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: still expectation, well, this is what he has the potential,
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: he's already proven that he can be that. And having
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: to carry that, man when you think back, because by
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: this time, I'm thinking you probably five six years in
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: and having to hold that, were you holding that alone?
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: I had a good support system around me, but I
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: feel as though what I was going through they really
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: didn't understand. I was blessed to have a life coach
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: where I still have to this day. My old g
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: doctor Martin. He took the time to really take me
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: under his wing and kind of teach me a lot about,
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: you know, the processes being in the moment, the power
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: now and things like that. And I didn't understand those
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: back then though, because I'm still caught up in in
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: my own things of wanting to chase the greatness that
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: I want shown. But I think what made me kind
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: of die deeper with him is because the me injuries
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: didn't stop.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I ended up having five.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: More surgeries after those first wow, and so that just
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: continued just to pile up on me where now doubt now.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Fear is kicking in.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: And he kind of didn't know what to do, just
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: because coming after those two seasons with my knee injury
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: and then going and now to my fifth year of
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: twenty eighteen, we report the training camp. You know, we
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: got conditioning tests. Yeah, I tear my achilles and conditioning
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: tests Jesus man. And so it was a lot just
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: in that moment of running during the conditioning test, and
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: I remember it, man, We're running to the fifty yard
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: and back. We had that three times, three sets. So
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: on the last set, I see the coaches in the
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: anzol and so I run, I get to the goal line,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: turn around power and I look back, like, man, I
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: know it wasn't all the way in the inso I
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: know these coaches ain't just kicked me. So I couldn't
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: move My foot just felt heavy, and I just heard
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: somebody say go down, So I go down. Trainers run
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: over to me and they're like they step on the
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: gas pedal and I couldn't. And then right then and
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: there they you know, said I told my achilles.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: And so now this is three seasons.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: In a row that's gone. So I remember I'm laying
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: just laying down on the ground of crying and screaming
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: like it's over, It's over. And so that part, I think,
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: in that moment was so tough because the last two
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: years I spent time with my life coach, and we're
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: trying to get through these things.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Everything was kind of seemed like it was on the
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: up and up. It boom, he had another one.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: And so now it's putting me back into that fear again,
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: back into that doubt again.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: And it was hard, right man, I'm trying to find
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: a moment to even just process and breathe, because I've
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: seen that injury on the feeling. I've seen guys that
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: I've worked with, you know, that are navigating depression, that
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: are navigating the anxiety, that are navigating the unrest that
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: comes with Will I ever be the same in your case? Man,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: here we go again, And I'm thinking to myself, man,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: and man, how hard it is for men to come
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: back what we experience loss? What was the most difficult
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: thing to even just try to even because I can't
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: even imagine what your mindset like, what it was like
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: going into the rehab side. Bro tough, not.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Only do the pain that you get at the surgeries,
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: but then the pain when it's not the rehab not
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: going right. Can't sleep now, your mind just racing with
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: all different type of things that's going on. I think
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: the biggest thing that in that moment in twenty eight
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: two on my achilles was, you know, I had to
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: birth for my son that same year, and so that
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: was probably the toughest thing that I had to go through,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: just because you when you have a song and you
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: have a child, you know you want to kind of
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: bring life to them. And it was always a gift
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: of myrow. It was always something I wanted to do
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: in terms of being able to play a game and
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: get after the game and hold my son up.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: And I've always wanted that. So that year when I
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: tore my.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Achilles and he was born, that was probably the toughest
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: thing that I've ever went through in my life, just
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: being that when he was first born in March of
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: that year. And I will always speak to my son.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Whenever you know, I was getting out of practice to
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: get home, I would.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Hold him and just talk to him all the time.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Tell him be a man, to understand that you have red,
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: don't give up. You know it's his greatness. I would
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: just impute life into him. And so that happened. That
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: was in March, April, May, June, all the way up
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: until August when we reported to training camp and I
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: tore my achilles and heading over to the MRIs and
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: seeing him was like the toughest thing just because it's
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: like I felt like I failed him. And so when
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: if you don't know what you get his achilles injuries,
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: you got to have immediate surgery. We only get up
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: to like five or six days because it can get
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: blood clock and it can go bad. So having the
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: surgery and getting back home, my mind was gone. I'm
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: in that place, is taking myself out of it. And
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: so I vividly remember the night where I'm holding him.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: But I'm not saying those same things that I used
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: to say. I'm not I'm not telling them about being great.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: I'm telling them that Daddy's out of here. You know,
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: I love you, but I'm gone. I can't take this pain.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: I can't. I don't got the strength. I can't do it.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: And so holding him and kind of like looking down
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: and seeing him like smile, they just kind of like
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: took a little bit over me of like you can't
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: do this, you know. So I think that year was
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: probably and that moment was probably the toughest thing I
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: ever want.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: To suppurs of your son, stop you from taking your life. Yeah,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: when you see your son now years later after that,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: what do you see when you see him? Like, yeah,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: I see life.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: I think you know, the spirit connection is a real thing. Yeah,
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: And so I felt in that moment when I was
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: in that place and him smiling, that was his spirit
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: talking to me. And so now when I see him,
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: it's like we both get that adrenaline restaurant. We see
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: each other every single time.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: The reason to live and so I love him, man.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: That's just that's one of the greatest gifts I got,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: you know, having him.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like you follow life again? Yeah, because
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: you're retired now and you in this season and we've had,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: you know, these conversations and and can I say to you, brother,
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I love your vulnerability, but I love your spirit. Man.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I mentored and work with a lot of young guys,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: but the one thing that I enjoy about you your sponge,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: you know. And that's why I love working with athletes,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: because we're trained to be coached, We're trained to receive
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: because someone is always critiquing, someone is always demonstrating, and
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: someone is always modeling for us. And I love that
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: you were in this place man, where you're discovering more
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: of Jason today, Jason the Man. What are some of
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: the things that you discovered recently about Jason the Man?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: I found out how to turn my pain and the
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: purpose mhm, and it never stopped dreaming. Yeah, those are
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: two of the things that I make sure that I
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: live by on my day to day and just having
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: that understanding of life. Life man, life is simple you know.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: But I think when you get caught up with so
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: much of the things that's on the outskirt, you know,
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: you lose sight of everything that lies within you. And
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: so I make sure every day before I wake up,
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: I mean when I wake up, I take at least
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: thirty minutes to myself.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I know a lot of people that when they first
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: wake up, you know, they go to their phone, they
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: go look on social media, they go look on Instagram
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: and things of that nature. But I told myself, if
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: I do that when I wake up, then I'm creating
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: habits that put myself second. And so I make sure
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: when I get up, I put myself first. I look
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: in the mirror, I brush my teeth, I talk to myself.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: I impute, and it's still wisdom and knowledge to myself,
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: because I think that that's the most powerful thing is
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: finding you.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what are some of the things you're saying to yourself?
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: I am who I am, who I'm not. I'll never
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: be was for me, won't miss me. As long as
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: let's say true to me. Man, you got to say
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: to the game brother, that's powerfu.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: I am who I am, who will not I'll never
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: be what's for me won't miss me.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: As long as I say true to me. What's for
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: me won't miss me as long as I stay true
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, man, did you create that or that art?
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: And it just it came from just to go on
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: the backstory of being on that eye during football wanting
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: to chase that next contract. And it's kind of used
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: this analogy where you know the greyhounds race, right, they
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: got the muzzle in their face and they see that rabbit,
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: gates go up and they run. The greyhounds never catch
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: the rabbit, though, but they always chase. And so I
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: had to learn that what's for me is gonna find me,
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: so I don't need to go out and chase nothing
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: that may not necessarily be for me. So it just
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: puts me in a place of gratitude and appreciation that.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: What for me is gonna findal. Brother, when I tell
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: you that's so powerful. As you were talking, I'm thinking
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: about my mentor doctor Kim. You know, I was on
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: this tour helping men heal all over the country and
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: doing all this stuff, and I wasn't taking care of myself.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: And doctor Kim said to me, she said, baby, you
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: gotta slow down and she says, Jay, you don't have
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: to work for everything. She says, some things you have
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: to let work for you and let it come to you.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: And when you were saying, what's for me won't miss
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: me as long as I am true to me, and
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: she would often say that if you sit still and
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: who you are, what's for you will find me. M hm.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: And I think so many times for us as men,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: particularly as black men, we're so into chasing. We're chasing
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: the bad, we're chasing the career, we're chasing the relationship,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: the girl. I mean, were chasing everything. And when you're
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: chasing something, there's no direction to it because there's and
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I always tell people when you pursue things, when you
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: were in pursuit of something, that's strategy. If something you're
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: chasing something you just going on that there's no strategy,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: that there's no methods. That has to be a methodology
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: to pursuing something. And as you're thinking about it, man,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: you really brought something to life for me because I
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm in a season where I'm having to
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: live out what you say, What's for me is not
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: gonna miss me? Because I know when I was done
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: playing and from me over twenty years ago. I was
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: so into like, man, I gotta be doing something, I
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: gotta be touching something. And I feel like God has
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: been a season where what I'm doing ain't even working,
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: and he's sitting back and saying, when you stop doing,
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: that's when I'll start working. But we often feel like
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: we have to work. Yeah, And doctor Kim said, I
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: think you're in a season where what you've done is
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: now working for you. And I feel like that's where
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: you are. Where you're in the season where the work
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: that you have done is working for you for you
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: because you're now evolving in ways that we don't have
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: the time to evolve as an athlete, for sure, because
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: you're focused on your craft and what people don't realize.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: It's like, I don't understand how athletes can't have a conversation,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: can't talk like it's balld, Like you don't have time
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: to have in depth conversations. And then most guys don't
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: have a life coache like a doctor Martin here because
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: most men, if you have not been fathered, will you
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: not receiving mentorship because that's too much like being fathered? Right,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: So I love that you are a man of growth
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: and a man of purpose and a man of characters.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Because you're young, So I have to ask this, because
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: you're so young, what is your view on life now?
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Because for most guys right like because when ball, like,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: if you're thirty and you consider old, right, you know
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But to be young and to say, well,
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: now your early thirties and what is your outlook on
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: life now that ball is over?
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: While I look on life, man, it's just all about
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: the perspective. And I learned that just from my mentor
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: just how you choose to perceive life is how you're
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: gonna receive it.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: Let's let's back that off. Let's back that off. Say
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: it again. How you choose to perceive life is how
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: you're gonna receive c J. That's a card tail moment.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: We hadn't had a car tail moment. And how you
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: didn't perceive life is how you will receive it. Yeah,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: that's so, that's that's a bar man. Yeah.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: So that's just my look when it comes to life
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: and just having that understanding.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: So what's your perception? It's being true simple, I just.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Gotta I feel like I have a thorough understanding of
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: life just because you know, we don't have control of
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: how life it's gonna happen. Life's gonna send a warning
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: shot to let you know that this is about to
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: happen the next day.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: So nigga, I mean sorry, you know so? Brother? Yeah, Man,
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: let me tell you, Sean, it does not send a
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: letter mm hmm. It won't even send you a You
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: and I lived it.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: So I had, in conclusion, eleven surgeries in the league.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: I ain't seen none of them come.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: But I had to go through that process of how
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: to navigate through that, along with having a life coach,
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: along with having support around.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: But I had to. I really had to face and
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: go through it. You know.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: I see you know you have your mother here, a
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: beautiful lady. And I'm sure you guys had conversations where
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: they were therapeutic for you. But when you hang up
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: that phone, it's back to you.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: So let me tell you something, Brothers, I might have
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: to sit in that because that's often the reality, man,
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: because you're ten years younger than me. And sometimes I
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: go off the phone with my mom. Man, Man, Mama
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: makes it sound so easy.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: Man, What mama like that too? That's my dog.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: She make it like and I'm like, Mama, it ain't.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I can get through this again.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Baby, you just got it and it's
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: just like, and bro, you just said something. Because when
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: you on that phone, you feel and sowered. But when
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: you hang that phone up and the real hits you
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: that it's real. Yeah, it's real, and it's it's also
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: become man. The reason that I'll talk to Mama as
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: long as I can because God forbid something, and we
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: know death is inevitable. I don't know how long I
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: have with But then you just said something, Dude, that
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: that that that that put up. Yeah, and I feel like, God,
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: do you the same way. Yeah, it's like you go
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: on your prior closet, man, you feel anchor. As soon
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: you are at the prior clause, the devils like, oh nigga,
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: come on. Yeah that ain't work. And it's like it's you,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: m hm. As you're navigating this season man, and whether
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: you're and I'm saying it to those who watch it,
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: whether it's Mama, whether it's dad or your your husband
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: or your best friend or your coach, your mentor, how
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: do you handle when you hang out the falls. How
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: do you handle that when it's just you? Now are
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: you saying before? And you give me both before?
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: I couldn't handle it. And I think that that's where
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: my mentorship took over. Sitting with my og like he
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: was the type of person you didn't answer the phone.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: He knocking at your throat. So he took the time
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: to instill everything in me, even when it was days
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: where I ain't feel like talking. And so around those
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: times that we were meet first, she used to be
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: at the house. A couple of times it was in
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: the car, and so I didn't really pay attention until
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: we started to go down to the beach.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: Talk, conversation was different.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: And along the time of us doing that, he used
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: to always tell me, whenever you kind of go through
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: you know, clouded or darkness, you gotta change the setting.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: Oh and so a lot of times people think when
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: they going through going through shit, you go in.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: Your room, you're going to you know, in the car,
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: you going.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: A little dry, but your thoughts is clouded in that
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: small environment whatever you in. But when you go down
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: to the beach, you got a lot of different distractions.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: With its kids, it's.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: Water clear skies, whatever case may be so now your
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: perception of life, it is different. And so you always
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: just telling me anytime you deal with anything that's tough,
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: change the setting, go somewhere to where your mind could
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: process the things and then you will know if the
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: energy is needed to go to that emotion or you
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: can sit back, process it, over analyze, and then say,
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: oh nah, I can navigate this way.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: Man. Listen, tell doctor Martin, I said thank you because
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: I'm stealing that. I'm gonna tell you why that's powerful
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: because so many times man, in the mental health space,
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: I have to tell clients that it's not that your
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: feelings are not real. Yeah, I just want you to
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: examine the accuracy of it, because could you be feeling
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: something that is attached to a moment and you are
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: attaching it to the entire experience to that It's simple,
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: don't prioritize. And that's what I learned.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: Whenever there's something that's fucked up that's going on that
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: I just don't get, I'm not prioritizing that emotion because
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: I already know what it's gonna do to me.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: I see it, I'm aware of it.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: Come on, But I might take a day or take
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: another day before I go back in. That's good handle that,
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: you know, because it was things that I was going
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: through when I was in those dark places. I will
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: always match the mood my mind is clustered, or if
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: I'm angry with somebody, I'm gonna get in the car
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: and I'm gonna put that type of music on to
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: match that mood. And so I have to learn to
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: kind of say, nah, that's not the right approach to
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: go about it. If you know that emotion is getting
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: your heart beating and you can't really process what's going on,
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: retreat a little bit, let it give us a day,
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: and then come back to it and see if that
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: same feeling.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Exactly feel that exactly.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: And so that's how I handle what I deal with,
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: whether it's people or is whether it's certain things that
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: I don't understand. I don't force the understanding right there.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: I wait and then I come back and be like, damn,
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: that shit ain't that deep?
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Mmm? Bro? You have you, Jay, You have found a
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: secret to life. As my mom often say, whether this
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: world like a loose garment that is? That's that's so insightful, man,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: because sometimes if you let something breathe, you'll come back
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: and you won't even feel the same about it. Sure, brother,
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I just this, this conversation, man, has been so impactful
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: for me, watching you, as a young man, share so
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: eloquently and so poignantly about your journey. And I like
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: that we we talked about ball, but I like that
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: we're talking about life. Yeah, because oftentimes athletes don't realize that, Man,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: you won't live a lot of life more than you
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: play ball. Sure, and we play a lot of games,
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: and you may play a lot of games, but it's
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: the game of life that you got a master mm hmm.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: And sometimes in that game of life, there isn't a coach.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: There isn't a doctor Mark, there isn't a doctor Jay.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: You know, there isn't somebody that said, hey, where we're
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: here to check on you, We're here to see you.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: And what I love about what you're doing, man, is
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: you're using your testimony, your voice, your story and for
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: man of you. Man. This is the first time Jason's
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: ever sat down and shared. And when we begin talking,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: I said, man, bro, you got it, because when I
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: tell you this, this this brother is so intelligent and
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: so deep. First of all, to you, to non athletes,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: people fake corner. You got to be intelligent. Like I
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: tell you people, people, I can't stand with people when
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: y'all think, like when y'all think we're not smart. We
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: are very intelligent. Now some of us is shoes apply
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: our intelligence elsewhere. But man, listen, you pick up a
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: playbook and you look at routes, and you look at
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: movements and motions and all this different thing. Man, you
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: can't be a dumb and to do that. Man. So
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: this is an intelligent brother, But this is a deep brother.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: And what I love is that you have so much
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: that the eyes meet, that there's so much depth to you.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: Because I'm often talking, I tell CJ like I pour
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: a lot into CJ. Because I tell him, I said, man,
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: I don't want you to just be skilled at what
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: you do. I want you to have depth to where
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: you are skillful in how you see things, that you
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: have a level of acuity, a level of keenness that
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: you're able to discern and have because every man needs
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: to give the Solomon ad. What gave Solomon that that
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: position as king is how he was able to discern
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: and make a decision in the moment. And we struggled
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: as men because we often don't take the time to
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: do what you did, to sit with ourselves, to do
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: the work, and to take counsel. That's what I'm most
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: proud of you. Man. You take counsel from your mentor
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: your life coach. I Man, sometimes it brings my art
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: to hear young men say don't have a mentor yeah,
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: because it's a sign of weakness. So they're gonna refuse
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: to do that. Man. In closing, Man, I normally ask
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: what does healing means for you? And I'll ask you that,
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: but this is your camera. I want you to speak
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: to brothers. And some brothers will relate, you know, because
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: they'll look at you said, well, he's an athlete. I
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: don't know if I relate he played in the league.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: It's not about that. But to the young men, because
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of young men that out that
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: that follow me. Man, if you can give a young
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: man a message, athlete or not, what would you say
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: to him look in that game, Yes, sir.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: I would say two things, the same words that spells silence,
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: spell listen, so get quiet, listen to your mind, and
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: manifest those things for you. Secondly, I will say, you
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: know when you're on the hike, right, and just this
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: is just a form of the game of life. You
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: got some people who have a trail and they see
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: a clean lane to go this way and get up
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: to the top of the mountains. Some people got to
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: go this route. They gotta climb over here. Some people
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: got ditches. But when you get to the top, there's
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: only one view. So embrace the journey. And when you
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: get to the top of the mountain, you'll be proud
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: to look down and say that you went through it.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: Brother. You listen, I know you're gonna come here and cook.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: Because we were having the conversation, I was like, no, no, no, this,
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: save this man. I want to say, thank you, brother,
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: appreciate you. Man. I'm proud of you. Man. I know
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: you're going into the TCU Hall of Fame. Congratulations on that, man.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah cool, it already happened. Yeah, that's right. But you're
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: here for us. Yeah yeah. And so I want to say, man,
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: continue growing, because there's so many young men that need
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: what you need. Brother. A lot of these athletes need
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: what you need. Sure, not many leave the game with
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: your perspective, and not many leave the game with your
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: wisdom and insight. At such a young age, and I
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: truly feel that God is going to do something great
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: with you. That you're yet discovery. And that's the beauty
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: of life is that you're yet discovery. Even me, almost
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: forty four, I'm yet discovery. I haven't. I haven't peeped.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: And I think so many times as men that we
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: get so stuck in what was that we lose sight
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: and lose hope or what can't what it can be.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: I don't like to see brothers man sort of again,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: I don't have no issue with Reminiscent, but it's like,
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: don't lament on what you did. Like we all had
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: great careers in some capacity. You know what I'm saying.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: I have my joy retired. You know what I'm saying,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: rings and the wars and all of that. But it's
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: hard for me to go back and to look at
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: that and stay there because it's so much more man.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: And so I want to encourage you, man. God has
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: such a great journey and path for you. Man, the
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: wisdom you have. Brother, these young guys coming up in
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: this nil journey, in this nil climate, they need to
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: be sitting at your feet, sure, because what you have
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: and you can't put a price tag on it, and
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: this will allow them to navigate this this sort of climate, man,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: where everybody's chasing something and don't realize. Man, you'll get
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: to the end and you'll realize you never caught what
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: you was chasing. And if you don't catch you you're
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: chasing was in vain. So, Brother, I'm glad that you
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: shared time with me today. Man. I hope you're proud
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: of you, brother, like I thank god that you're still here.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: I thank god that run introduced us. Man. I look
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: forward to building with you. Brother. Just your smile altogether. Man,
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: it does something for my spirit because I know what
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: it's like to get a call from an agent and
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: it's not good, or a parent that says, my son
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: left last night. My daughter. That is my life, you know, unfortunately,
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: because that's just the you know what mental health is.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: Sometimes some people they give up, and I'm grateful brother,
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: you didn't give up. Man. I appreciate it. Man, this
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: is very therapeutic for him. Bro, I appreciate you taking
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: the time to absolutely anytime. Brother, well you know we
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: locked in brother, Man. No, thank you brother for coming today. Man,
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Man. Listen, Guys, you just heard powerful,
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: powerful story Jason for red Man, former Charger, former honor Dad, businessman,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: but even better, man of character, man of wisdom, and
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: man of insight. You may be an athlete, you may
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: not be an athlete, but you are playing the game
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: of life. And I'm hoping that as you are navigating
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: the game of life, it's that you have a perspective
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: that allows you to see beyond your or trauma, your experience,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: and even your losses. You've heard Jason today share about
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: his losses, but in closing, we got to hear his
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: perspective and as he said, the way you perceive life
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: is the way you receive life. Take that bar with
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: you and listen. As always, this is a healing community, man,
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: where we're having conversation that are not only transformative, but
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: conversations that are false and healing to make us better.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: And when you have a better thinking and thought process
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: and you have a great mental health state of mind,
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: it increases your quality of life. Healing is a journey
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: and wholeness is the destination. Until next time, heal well.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: Just here over, Doctor j a production of the Black
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: favorite shows, and you can follow me at King Jay
• 47:00
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• 47:04
  Speaker 1: Just Heal Doctor j