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you're not "too sensitive", you're human · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

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  You're just too sensitive. Maybe it was said in a joking
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  way. Maybe it was thrown at you
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  during an argument. Maybe it was something that you
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  told yourself after crying at a movie or feeling overwhelmed in
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  a crowded room. And I just want to say to you,
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  you're not too sensitive. You're sensitive.
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  You're human and there's absolutely nothing wrong with
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  that. Today I want to explore where
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  that too sensitive label comes from, why it's often
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  misunderstood and how emotional sensitivity.
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  It isn't a weakness. No, it's actually one of your
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  greatest strengths. My name is Ethan Jewell and
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  welcome back to Feel Your Feelings.
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  I want to begin by reminding you I'm not a doctor, I'm not a
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  psychologist, I'm not a professional in the mental
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  health industry, and that's the whole point of this podcast.
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  I'm just a normal guy who has felt some really big feelings.
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  So I know how overwhelming it is and how alone you can feel when
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  you're struggling with something.
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  So I created this podcast just to try to start the conversation
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  on mental health from a very real perspective, just from one
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  person to another who has experienced this and gone
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  through it. So if you're returning to listen
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  again, welcome back. If it's your first time here,
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  welcome. I am very happy that you're here
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  and let's feel some feelings. So today we're going to be
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  talking about the topic of sensitivity because I know I
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  personally have felt this, this idea that my feelings are too
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  much, that I'm too sensitive, that I'm bothering or burdening
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  other people with my feelings. And that just isn't the case.
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  It couldn't be further from it. So, So let's start with why do
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  people say you're too sensitive? Usually it comes from
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  discomfort, their discomfort with your emotions.
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  Think about it, when someone cries or expresses a deep
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  feeling, it can make others uncomfortable.
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  Not because the emotion is wrong, but because many people
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  haven't learned how to sit with that feeling.
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  They haven't learned how to allow other people to just feel,
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  you know? They might have been brought up
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  in environments that told them to toughen up or push through
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  it. We live in a world that often
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  rewards emotional numbness. People who keep it together are
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  praised, while people who express pain or sensitivity are
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  labeled dramatic, weak or unstable.
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  But being sensitive it, it doesn't mean that you're broken,
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  feeling deeply, being upset, it doesn't mean that anything is
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  wrong with you. It just means your emotional
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  radar is turned up a little bit higher.
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  You feel more, you care more, you notice more.
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  That's not a flaw. It's a beautiful feature, and
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  it's something that should be praised in society instead of
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  pushed away. This idea of just keeping your
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  head down, keeping everything inside, pushing forward, pushing
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  through, it's dangerous and it's hurtful to people who who feel
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  things deeply. We need to learn how do both
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  allow ourselves to feel deeply, and also how to allow other
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  people to feel deeply. We need to open spaces up.
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  We need to open our hearts and our minds up to the idea that
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  feelings are OK. It's OK for you to be sensitive.
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  It's OK for me to be sensitive. It's OK for us to be upset about
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  things, even if it doesn't make sense in the moment.
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  Feelings are an important and impactful part of the human
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  experience. I mean, what if sensitivity was
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  your superpower? Think about artists, therapists,
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  nurses, poets, songwriters, friends who just get it.
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  Most of these people, they're deeply sensitive.
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  They're able to connect to, to feel what other people are
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  feeling, to pick up on energy in a room, to notice subtle
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  emotional shifts. Psychologist Dr. Elaine Aaron
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  coined the term highly sensitive person HSP, and according to her
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  research, about 15 to 20% of people have a nervous system
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  that's more sensitive to stimuli emotionally, physically, even
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  socially. They tend to be more empathetic,
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  more conscientious, more aware. So no, you're not imagining it.
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  You might just be wired a little differently.
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  I mean, this is science. This is from a psychologist.
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  I'm not psychologist, but this research is from one that wiring
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  allows you to experience the world in a richer, deeper way.
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  Sure, it also means you might cry more easily or be
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  overwhelmed in certain situations, but that doesn't
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  make you too sensitive. It just makes you sensitive,
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  period. And this idea that being
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  sensitive is a bad thing is a total misconception and it's
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  harmful. I mean, artists, poets,
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  songwriters, therapists, all these people that I listed at
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  the beginning of this point, they are integral to the world,
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  to our society. They, they, they open up a path
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  for other people to feel or to express themselves or to or to
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  feel understood. And that's powerful.
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  And we need that. We need that now more than ever.
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  And by shutting down that part of ourselves or shutting down
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  that part in other people, that limits us under this idea that
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  we're being too sensitive. And there's some serious harm in
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  suppressing that sensitivity. When we grow up hearing you're
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  too sensitive, we start to believe that our emotions are
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  wrong or inconvenient. So what do we do?
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  We suppress them, we laugh when we want to cry, we stay quiet
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  when something hurts. We start second guessing our
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  reactions. We emotionally edit ourselves.
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  But over time, the self suppression, it takes a toll.
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  Studies show that chronic emotional suppression can lead
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  to higher stress, anxiety, depression, mental health
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  disorders, even physical health problems.
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  It disconnects us from others and from ourselves.
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  And the worst part? It teaches us that love is
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  conditional, that we're only lovable when we're easy to
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  handle. That's not true.
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  You're lovable as you are, feelings and all.
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  Being sensitive isn't something to fix.
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  No, being sensitive is something to honor.
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  So now that we have acknowledged the harm that pushing away
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  sensitive people, pushing away your own sensitivity can cause
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  the harm that suppressing those feelings, not allowing yourself
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  to fully express, let's talk about how we can start embracing
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  sensitivity instead of rejecting it.
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  And the first thing, stop apologizing for your emotions.
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  You don't need to say sorry for crying or for caring.
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  That's your humanity showing. It's not a flaw.
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  Just because it might make somebody else uncomfortable
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  because they don't know how to deal with it because they
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  weren't raised in that environment, doesn't mean that
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  you need to fix that part of them.
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  That's something that's work for them to do, not you.
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  Don't feel as though your emotional capabilities are a
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  burden on others because they aren't.
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  Next, know your limits. Sensitivity means that your
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  battery might drain quicker in overwhelming environments.
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  That's OK. It's not a weakness, it's
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  awareness. So protect yourself, protect
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  your emotions, protect your heart.
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  And then finally, surround yourself with people who value
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  your depth. You don't need to be less
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  emotional to fit in. The right people won't ask you
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  to shrink. They won't make you feel small.
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  They'll accept you for who you are.
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  They'll accept that you might be more sensitive, that you might
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  have bigger feelings. Maybe they have the same thing.
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  Finally, remind yourself, feeling deeply is not a
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  liability. It's a kind of wisdom.
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  It means you're awake to the world, to yourself, and to
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  others. So if you've ever been told
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  you're too sensitive, I hope today's episode gives you
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  permission to unlearn that idea. And there's no such thing as
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  being too human. Your emotions, they don't make
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  you weak, they make you real. And we need more of that.
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  We need to be more real with each other.
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  We need less smiles through gritted teeth.
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  We need less laughter holding back tears and more being real
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  person to person. And that's what this podcast is
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  all about. I'm going to be real with you
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  and hopefully you'll be real with me.
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  You'll be real with yourself. You'll be real with others in
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  your life. There is no such thing as being
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  too human. Your emotions don't make you
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  weak. In a world that often encourages
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  us to numb out, your sensitivity might just be your greatest
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  gift. That's going to wrap it up for
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  today's episode. Thank you so much for being
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  here. Thank you for spending a few
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  minutes of your day with me. If you need help feeling your
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  feelings, you should check out my music on all platforms under
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  the name of Ethan Jewell. I almost guarantee it'll make
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  you cry. Also, drop a comment and let me
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  know what you thought about today's episode.
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  I'd love to hear what you think about being a sensitive person,
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  if you believe you're more sensitive to feelings than
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  others, what your experiences with this have been, I would
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  love to hear. So thank you so much for being
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  here and thank you for remembering you're not too
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  sensitive, you're just human and that's more than enough.
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  And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
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  I'll see you next Friday.