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Attaining Mastery Over the Sex-Impulse · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  As the spiritual seeker begins to address the question of
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  mastery over the sex impulse, he becomes aware of the
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  difficulties of tackling A deeply embedded process that
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  stretches back into the early phases of animal evolution and
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  thus has acquired a strong power base within the being.
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  This power base for the sexual impulse includes long
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  established response mechanisms that trigger internal surges of
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  certain hormones that direct the reaction of the mind, the heart,
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  the nervous system, the vital and physical systems.
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  Much of this response is virtually automatic as the
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  triggering mechanism is activated in the being through
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  the senses, by reception of pheromones or directly by the
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  mind itself. As long as we are identified
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  with the external mind, life, body complex and the ego
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  personality, we are subject to the pressures of the sexual
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  impulse and these automatic triggered responses.
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  The first attempts are generally made by trying to use willpower
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  to deny or suppress the impulse. This generally fails as the
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  instinctive behaviour is more powerful than the mental will.
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  Generally this leads to attempts to deny the triggering
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  activities, such as abandoning life in the world for a quiet
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  retreat in The Cave, the forest or the monastery, generally with
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  a separation of the genders to avoid immediate pressure of
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  sensual impressions. This also is doomed to failure
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  as it does not solve the problem but simply avoids it.
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  Then there are the attempts to beat the nature into submission
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  through some form of physical austerity or even bodily torture
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  such as self flagellation or other painful means based in
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  negative training that associates pain with the rising
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  of thoughts or impulses in this direction.
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  This type of operant conditioning may succeed in the
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  short term, but does not actually solve the problem long
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  term. It can create serious negative
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  consequences at a number of levels in the being.
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  Some people believe that by restricting sensory stimuli, the
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  sexual impulse can be avoided. This is frequently been used to
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  hide women from view through use of visually obstructive clothing
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  or through sequestration. This essentially tries to shift
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  the responsibility for the rising of the sex impulse away
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  from men and make the women the cause of the problem.
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  Similarly, these societies may try to restrict expression,
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  media and relationships, separate the genders, and
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  otherwise expect that by suppression and denial of sense
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  impressions the sexual impulse is gone.
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  This of course is not a solution and in fact appears in many
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  cases to make the societies within which this occurs more
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  sexually aggressive, as it is simply another form of
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  repression and does not go to the root of the issue dealing
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  with the underlying sexual impulse at its basic level.
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  Having reviewed what clearly has not worked, it is time to look
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  at other options for gaining mastery over this impulse.
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  The key to mastery over any of the actions or responses of the
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  external being is to shift the standpoint away from living on
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  the surface to that of the witness of the nature.
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  This allows the witness to view the external impulses, pressures
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  and reactions as something external and therefore easier to
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  manage than something that one feels to be an integrated part
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  of oneself. One begin can begin to recognize
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  the pressure from outside, such as through the pervasive imagery
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  that occurs in all the media and in society at large, and the
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  vital pressures of social relationships that encourage
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  sexual expression and the pheromones released in one's
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  proximity in a social setting that can trigger these reactions
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  and simply not let them take over.
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  The action of the mind, life or body.
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  As the witness consciousness becomes established, its power
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  to not just witness but master the actions of the external
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  mind, life, body, complex increases.
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  As the process develops, the seeker can experience the relief
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  of the pressure in the mind and in the emotions more quickly
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  than in the parts of the being to which the sexual impulse is
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  native, the vital and physical aspects of the being.
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  Eventually, however, as the energy is redirected constantly,
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  all parts of the being shift their focus away from the sexual
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  energy towards utilization of that energy in other ways
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  supportive of the sadhna. This process can take some time,
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  so it is important for the secret to not become discouraged
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  or give up the effort. The pressure of the environment
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  and any residual impulses remaining in the subconscious
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  parts of the being imply that the seeker must remain vigilant
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  and non reactive and at the same time not become overly anxious
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  about a rising of the impulse in the dream state.
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  For instance, if it is otherwise successfully rejected in the
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  active daily life. Dreams can take up impressions
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  not actively recognized or responded to during the waking
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  state. In a hyper sexualized society,
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  the impressions are constantly being captured even if not
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  attended to. Even if they are rejected by the
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  waking consciousness, they can act to trigger dream responses
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  until the embedded instincts and trained behaviors are finally
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  eliminated from all the vital and physical nature in their
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  entirety. Trio Robindo writes quote.
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  As for the method of mastery, it cannot be done by physical
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  abstinence alone. It proceeds by a process of
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  combined detachment and rejection.
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  The consciousness stands back from the sex impulse, feels it
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  as not its own, as something alien thrown on it by its nature
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  force, to which it refuses assent or identification.
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  Each time a certain movement of rejection throws it more and
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  more outward, the mind remains unaffected.
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  After a time, the vital being, which is the chief support,
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  withdraws from it In the same way.
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  Finally, the physical consciousness no longer supports
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  it. This process continues until
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  even the subconscious can no longer rouse it up in dream, and
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  no further movement comes from the outer nature force to
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  rekindle this lower fire. This is the course when the sex
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  propensity sticks obstinately, but there are some who can
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  eliminate it decisively by a swift radical dropping away from
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  the nature. That, however, is more rare.
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  It has to be said that the total elimination of the sex impulse
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  is one of the most difficult things in sadhana, and one must
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  be prepared for it to take time. But its total disappearance has
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  been achieved, and a practical liberation crossed only by
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  occasional dream movements from the subconscious is fairly
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  common. End Quote reference.
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  Sri Aurobindo, Faces of Yoga, Chapter 4 Desire Food, Sex,
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  pages 75 to 76.