Latest / 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids. / How to Discern Good Books for our Kids w/ Guest Valerie Fentress

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How to Discern Good Books for our Kids w/ Guest Valerie Fentress · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of the Five Minute Parenting Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Karen Ferguson, wife, mom, grandmom, and children's book author with a background in K-8 education and a passion for equipping parents to raise confident and God-confident kids.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: In this podcast, we'll cover parenting practices for both a practical view and a biblical view.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Our goal is to help you raise kids with a positive, godly self-image so they can become all they were created to be.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're busy, so we'll keep it short.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let's take just five minutes and dive in.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Today I have a very special guest on the show, Valerie Fentris.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Valerie is an award-winning author and host of the Book Worthy Podcast.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Valerie writes simple stories with biblical truth.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: She wants to remind children who God is and who God says they are.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: She is a mom of three boys with a passion for growing a love for God and young kids, whether that's in the books and articles she writes or on Sunday morning as a preschool storyteller.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Valerie considers books a love language and loves talking about children's books on her Bookworthy podcast.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Today she'll be sharing strategies for how to discern good books for our kids.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And she'll also have a special freebies for kids just in time for Valentine's Day, which will be in the show notes.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, Valerie, welcome to the show.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here today.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Karen.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's a pleasure to be here on the podcast today.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, as a mom for us to get okay.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I was going to say, as a mom, grandmom, and children's author, I'm all about books.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm super excited about the topic for today as I know it it can be hard these days for parents to find wholesome reads for kids.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I agree.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Jump right in and share with our listeners.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds great.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think kind of just like you said, Karen, I think we can all agree that our sorry, am I I think we can all agree that our culture has shifted away from Judeo-Christian values that's fueled many of the classic children's stories that we love and that we as parents grew up with.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: And this shift has had a large effect on our entertainment from books to the movie screen, which has created an ever-expanding gray area, which in what is considered good and bad and right and wrong.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: And our kids are feeling the effects, which has caused parents, me included, to be more cautious with the children's books that I bring home.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: But there's so many books.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you don't know a book goes against your family's beliefs until you get it home, especially once you get to middle grade and YA books.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: I thought for a while, well, I'll just pre-read all the books my kids read.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: But this became impractical as my middle son started to outpace me in how many books he could read.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Because he's still young and doesn't have as many responsibilities as I do as a parent.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: He had all the time in the world to read as many books as he could get his hands on.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: So as I was podcasting and writing more, I had to come up with a way to give my bookworm both the freedom to choose books he would enjoy and for us to be discerning about the messages in the books that he was reading.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: So we developed a pattern to help him and me feel a little more at ease with the books he's reading.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: We always start by looking at book reviews, but not just looking at the good ones.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: We try to look at three reviews and each star value because not everyone writing reviews holds the same values that we do.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: And some books just don't have very many reviews, which is a minor plug for book reviews because they are very powerful.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Granted, a one-star review about a book being delayed or arriving damage is not very helpful.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: But tactfully communicating that a book has elements of same same sex attraction or has some unbiblical ideals is very helpful.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: After looking at these reviews and the intended age range for the book, my son and I decide together if it's a book is worth reading.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: If I have a concern about some of the content, we'll read it together as a family and stop and talk about any concerning ideas that come up along the way before we decide should we continue reading or should we stop?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Does this book really honor God or keep our mind focused on God?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that becomes the question as we're reading through.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: Now we've had some misses and wins along the way, but even the books that introduce dark and confusing ideas became opportunities to remind my sons of what is true and who we look to for truth.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: But what gets hard to remember is that it's not so much the books that our kids are reading, but how we are training them to discern the information they are given, whether from a fantasy book or their school teachers.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: C.S.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Lewis is quoted saying, Children are not deceived by fairy tales.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: They are often gravely deceived by school stories, and adults are not deceived by science fiction.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: They can often be deceived by the stories in women's and men's magazines.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this quote helps me take a breath when the enemy kicks my anxiety into high gear when it comes to what my kids watch and read.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: I knew as a parent I didn't want to avoid the hard topics that our culture throws at us, but to help my kids be able to discern what is true no matter what they hear or read, that they know to turn to God and the Bible as the source of all truth.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: This is a process our kids need to go through to discover a Christian worldview that will last beyond our children's time in our home.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: When I was trying to find a verse to point your listeners to when thinking of the battle for our kids' hearts in our cultures and books, God was amazing to point me to John 17.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this is while Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane praying before he was arrested and taken to the cross.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it's the final plea to God.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: But as I read these words, don't just think of Jesus praying for all believers, which is powerful enough on its own, but as a prayer of a parent over a child.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is John 17, 15 through 19.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not asking you to take them out of the world, but I'm asking you to keep them safe from the evil one.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: They don't belong to the world the same as I don't belong to the world.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Make them ready for your service through your truth.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Your teaching is truth.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: I have sent them into the world the same as you have sent me into the world.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: I am making myself ready to serve, and I do this for them so they can truly be ready for your service.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful verse.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Above all else, this is the goal as a parent, to prepare my kids to be in God's service when it's time for them to go out into the world.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think we can pray this over our kids just as Jesus prayed it over his disciples and all future believers.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: And walking alongside our children as they're choosing the books they read and the shows they watch, just as Jesus walks with us and helps us with through the Holy Spirit, is a great privilege, not to hold with fear, but with confidence that God is going to direct your steps as you parent the kids in your home.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: This balance and privilege has become the goal of both my children's books and the Bookworthy Podcast, because discovering good books, fairy tales, and nonfiction shouldn't be as hard as it has become for parents.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: So with that, um providing something for your listeners, I've put together a 16-day Valentine's Day devotional for your families, for you to sit down with your kids and go through the 16 words that are in 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 8.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just a walk looking at those words of patience, kindness, not jealous, not boastful, not easily angered, and helping our kids understand what love really is, again, while the our culture is trying to sway it in another way.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing that.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: That'll be in the show notes.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Encourage everyone to download those, that freebie for sure.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't matter if it even if it's 16 days, it doesn't matter what day you start it on.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: We my family, we usually start it on what January 30th and do our last one on Valentine's Day itself.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: But you can start the devotional anytime.
• 8:32
  unknown: Yes.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Wonderful.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing that.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: My pleasure.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for sharing your tips too and your story.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: So you have three boys, you say.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: I do.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: I have uh one who has dyslexia, one that is a bookworm or book dragon, as we call him, in our home.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then we have uh our youngest, uh, it's kind of a reluctant reader, also, but he dives in when he is ready.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: When he has to, yes.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: In his own terms, on his own terms.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and I was gonna say, I love your point about coming together as a family and making decisions about whether to continue or stop reading, you know, rather than being the controller, right?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Which especially kids that get to a certain age, they don't always appreciate that, right?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I think kind of walking with them, like you were saying, side by side, um, and and helping them to think critically about whether or not a book is worthwhile or even appropriate at all, I think that's great.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, when at what age do you recommend starting that part of it?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or or what age did you do that with your reader?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know you have one who's quite the reader.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, when he started to outpace me, which was I think when he was about nine, we started just kind of walking through, okay, what does a book look like?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: Or and we also have uh Kindle Unlimited, and he has access to that.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so as we kind of look through those and look through what is available for him, we want to make sure that what he is choosing to read is going to bless his heart and mind and our family as well.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so, kind of around school age is when he started um doing that together.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: And we still do um read alouds as a family from time to time when there's a particular um book that we're thinking might have some more questionable um items in it.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so just because you know uh my kids do go to public school, and so they are come come across a lot of different topics that I didn't come across as a child, but but it's wanting to prepare them, help them think biblically, think with a Christian worldview to help them process this world that they are going to live in, that they are going to face bullies at school, they're gonna face bullies in the workplace one day, they're gonna face mean kids and people that don't follow your same worldview, you know, in school just as much as they will as an adult.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: And just to give them those tools of thinking critically, running to the Bible as their source of truth and continuing to realize that what we put in our hearts, minds, and ears is just as is going to affect what comes out of our mouth just as much as anything else.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's been a growing experience with me and my boys.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny, um, I tried to read Little House on the Prairie with my boys, which you think that's perfectly innocent.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Come the I think the third chapter of the first book.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what is it?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Spoiler alert, their puppy dies.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: And my oldest son was like, nope, we are not reading any more of this.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh and I was asking my boys, do you guys want to continue?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, this is the beginning of their journey.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: They haven't even gotten to where they're going.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, No, we're done.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, we they killed the dog, we're done.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's sweet.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: They love dogs, apparently.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: They do love dogs a lot.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so highlight.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, go ahead.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, I'll highlight or reiterate what you said too about the book reviews.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: A plug for that is us authors, right?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Authors love book reviews, but I never really thought of it that way as well.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: That, you know, when you have these young kids grow growing up and with so, I mean, so much questionable contact content.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: My youngest is 24, so I didn't you know have to deal with near what we're seeing now.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: But with so much questionable content out there, how much more important those reviews are for parents and for the people who read these books to just take that what three minutes, you know, and go on to Amazon or Goodreads.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Is there any other place you look for for book reviews?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Are those the main?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: Those are the main two.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: But what's also important is with book series to look at books individually, because there's a book series me and my book dragon absolutely enjoyed, and we we raced each other through the series, which was kind of fun.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, a new book in the series came out and it did have some questionable content, and we didn't know it.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: We were like, we trust this series, we're like 10 books into this series.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: This will be great.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: And we were like, hold on, they're introducing some ideas and themes that just are very confusing, and so we were able to have that interesting conversation and to kind of process that and to have those conversations that yes, there is real evil in the world, there is decisions that are not going to match with what we believe in.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: And while it doesn't change how we should treat people or how we should engage with people, we just have to know where to guard our hearts from that type of material.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: That is such a good point.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I've often told my girls when when they were young and still tell myself it's about guarding our heart.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like you say, we don't treat people differently, we are called to love, but um, at the same time, we have to guard our heart because it matters.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: It matters what we take in for sure.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, when you mentioned that about the book series, I've also heard that from some people with the video games that maybe they'll start a video game and it seems, you know, pretty innocent, and then all of a sudden, you know, uh witchcraft or something else it goes in there and it's just kind of crazy.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, that's a really good point.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: With books and with video games, you know, even some concepts.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think, what is it?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: There's a video game my kids play that has introduced a demonic character that you give homage to in order to get points.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like one of those, like, hold up, let's rethink this.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been, you know, again, being willing to step into the hard conversations.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: We can often, as parents, kind of separate ourselves, like this is kids stuff.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: The kids do what they do, kids will be what they'll be.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: And but we in this day and age, we really have to step in and engage and be ready to have the hard conversations.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: So true.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say so.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Another great resource then would be your book worthy podcasts, right?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because you have people on there, you're highlighting books that you've read and uh that you can recommend to parents.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: So most I interview authors um on a weekly basis, and I will not, what is it, interview an author with a I have a list of what is it, my statement of belief, and every author that comes on there has to at least agree that their book does not go against my statement of belief, because I have uh non-Christian writers and Christian writers join me, but um just that um as long as their book doesn't go against the core beliefs that I have as both a parent and a Christian, then they're welcome on my podcast.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a whole host of different types of books that are have been on the podcast in the last few seasons, but it's about making sure that the books that are there at least are not going against what I believe.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's a good point.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's very good, good, good call there for sure.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, awesome.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: I also want to mention as well, before we close, your website, because I was on there and there's so many great freebies for parents.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: So we all love freebies, right?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I highly recommend listeners check out both your podcast, the Bookworthy Podcast, and your website.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: And just tell us, we'll have it in the show notes, but tell us your web website address there.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry for the bark there.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: My husky is getting oh getting restless.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: I have two jobs.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: She likes to tell me when she wants something, which is super fun sometimes.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: But uh, my website is just www.valeriefentress.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's Fson Frank, E-N-T-R-E-S-S.com.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then under the abouts page, there is a freebie link that has kind of a list of all my parenting help and book lists for boys and all kinds of things to help parents out.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Highly recommend listeners check that out.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: And and I just want to say thank you, Valerie, for being on today and sharing your heart, your experience, and some real practical tips with our listeners.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: And um just so appreciate you being here today.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to thank you, listeners, for joining us.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: So be sure to check out the show notes for books, four links, four resources that were discussed today.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: And be sure to join us next week for another episode of the parenting podcast.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, have a blessed week.