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RoxanneBookLaunchFinalAudio · Authentic Living

0:01
Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
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things that really matter in our lives.
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And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
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I will be the moderator, for us today.
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And it's a great pleasure to be with all of you, and I'm very excited that we will be
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celebrating and, digging a little bit deeply into the Roxanne this is all return on our
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relationships.
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But before we start, I would like us to take a little note of our housekeeping rules as well.
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I'd like everybody to keep their sound off, but keep your video on if you can.
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We decided it's fun to see your faces.
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And also, we will put the speakers in pin when the slide is not on, so we'll see you.
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But otherwise, please feel free to have your slide on.
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And the sound off.
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And, also, we will start by having an interview, or or first, we'll have, a video
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that will have an interview with and then a panel.
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And all through the interview, you can ask questions and answers in the little chat box
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and after at the dedicated time, we'll give to that.
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And the same goes for the panel as well.
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So keep that in mind and write when you have it or save it for the dedicated time.
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And we will also have some fun little, giveaways as we move forward into this, session
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with, with the books and signatures and some surprises at the very end.
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So please stay with us as we move forward.
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So I think we should start now with the dedication that Roxanne Son has, made, to the
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grandfather And, here's the panel.
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We would share more of the panel as we move forward.
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Yeah.
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So let's go.
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Yeah.
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Here is one of the giveaways will get us.
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We will move forward, both signed copies of the ROR book, package of 3 books, coaching cards,
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and coaching sessions are also gonna be in the goodie bag, so to speak to our then.
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So thank you.
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A prince in the making, a diamond in the run, never quit or back down when things got cut.
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Never look for handouts, kickbacks, or charity of any kind.
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His mental tenacity meant that he would be wouldn't be left behind.
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Stood head and shoulders above his peers.
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As he showed it to the village with the swagger of a pecan, he shared tales of his rich
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narrative.
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Plus with the gift of the Gap, handsome, and ever so charming, quick witted with a razor
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sharp mind and a smile so disarmament.
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Focus on his strengths and successes, learn from his follies and flaws.
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I'll be really mixed about leftist competitors, gaspy and grasping at straws, climb the
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corporate ladder with a leadership style of his own, a prince in the making with the hair to
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the hair to the throne, an inspirational, an inspirational leader with a work ethic art to
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match.
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Started a quality company that he built from scratch.
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A personal touch guarantee, a customer's lifelong loyalty, a man of the people, he made
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them feel like royalties.
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Turned a Mazda to into a Maserati, a lancer into a Lamborghini, Sold the dream that
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afforded a store was a good was as good as a Ferrari.
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A prince in the meeting, a family member in the past, loss, love, broken hearts, relationships
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that did not last.
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Victory for forgiveness from those he heard the most, sought redemption, rounds up, found
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salvation from every past and present ghost.
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He paid a price of a princely sum.
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It's time for him to bask in his glory, a prince in the May games, the hero of his story,
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of his story.
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And that's the poem.
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That was wonderful.
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Thank you so.
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Beautiful.
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Thank you for sharing that.
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Yeah.
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These are relationships and, generational relationships at Tucson.
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And, You wrote a book on return on relationships.
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And, I know it's typically meant for or consultants and the business, but it's so
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beautiful that you're sharing also this generational relationships from the home's fair
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because whenever we are, we are, who we are, the people we bring videos everywhere.
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And I'm so happy to introduce you here to today and, certainly you are authentic sharing with
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us, your family, on the screen right now and the beauty, And, Roxanne is a registered
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psychotherapist.
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She's a corporate consultant, a keynote speaker.
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She's trainer and author.
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And she has more than 30 years of experience.
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She works with senior leadership to enhance their resilience and to assist companies with
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their corporate mental health strategies.
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She's presented at many many conferences and companies and associations on mental health and
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wellness, and she's a B book leader.
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And Roo Roxanne is also a member of the Forbes Business Coast Council.
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She's a share of women's Forbes Women's Executive Business Council and also an Amazon
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best selling author.
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She's a specialist on authentic leadership, I will say, and, and that is a very important
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topic these days.
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Authentic also hard leadership.
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So, it looks so Excited to hear from you also a little bit of background for how you came about
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writing, the ROR book, What is your dream for it?
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What's the objective around the the book?
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Would you like to start sharing some of that and also some some intentions with it, please?
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Well, I I wrote the book because, you know, I started off, obviously, as a psychotherapist
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and and I saw every possibility of the human condition from, you know, the front line when,
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you're meeting somebody in their time, so wrong trauma all the way up to being a boardrooms.
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And what I recognized was that you know, the human condition is we all want the same.
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We all wanna feel good.
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We want that peace of mind.
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And when I kind of did my tenure with corporate, I didn't fit believe it or not
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because I wanted to be really, really collaborative.
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Like, I wanted to involve everybody the same, And I often got told that's not the way you do
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it Roxanne.
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You know, you treat the people that report to you in a certain way.
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You treat the people on your level at a competitive level competitively.
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And then, of course, you know, of people above you, you you give respect And it it it just
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didn't sit very well with me.
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And that's what I thought.
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And seeing it across sectors, I thought, this is something that people need to nice, that
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shoulder to shoulder, even back then, made the most sense to me.
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And I think a lot of that comes from my beginnings and culture, like growing up in a
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little village in Trinidad, even to the little city that I live here in Chippewa, I needed
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connection.
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So I thought, why not write something that would expose people to what I thought based on
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my kind of foray into the corporate world and how I live my life.
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Oh, this is really interesting.
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And I was thinking also when you said that, oh, you didn't really fit exactly.
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You wanted to build connections and When we're talking about fitting, we talk also about being
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authentic.
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We talk about, you know, and you've written a lot about that.
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Can you also share with us a bit What what do
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you mean by that?
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Authentic?
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What does it mean for you?
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And particularly authentic and even harsh leadership, in an authentic way?
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Well, I think the incongruence of I don't have to be the same depending on where I am didn't
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fit.
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Right?
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So I often say if if I'm if you're my boss or I'm your boss and or you're my peer or you're
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someone that I'm gonna see at the hockey rink, stunning typically Canadian or someone at at my
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church, why should I be different?
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Why shouldn't anyone be different?
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So I really wanted people to experience that.
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Like, you know, if you are truly and I truly believe that's this is a skill that any of us
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can achieve.
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So often say I talk a little bit about, you know, the Dalai Lama and and Oprah in the book
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and things like that.
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What we wanna do is to just maximize our capacity to connect on a human level.
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And that's what I believe as a, you know, an authentic heart leadership if you resonate with
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yourself and really get into awareness with who you are, what you value, what you believe, I
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truly believe I call it concentric circles of intimacy.
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That you can actually project that out to others around you.
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And in turn, you're not you may be hitting from your family, you know, to your friends, to your
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community and globally, when you're presenting to people that may see you, doing your work
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whether you're on stage, whether you're training, or whether you're coaching on.
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Yeah.
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So you speak about self awareness in the book and and and this is very interesting.
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So how do you, I know you talk about this concentric circles.
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Can you share with us some of something else you write in the book about how we can become
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more self aware as well.
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Well, you know, I talk about one of the leaders in the book, and he owned a Canadian company.
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And he talked a little bit about being a CEO very, very young.
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And along with that came the accolades of attaining, you know, that seat, I believe, in
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his late twenties, and he talked about being a peacock and he, you know, he sat up basically
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on his throne.
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And what started to happen was that eventually he went through things in his life that kind of
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put him in a spot where he then he had to be vulnerable.
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And then at that point, he started to share a little bit about what he did.
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He he actually, like, opened his doors as the CEO, like figuratively speaking and physically
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speaking, where people can actually kinda get to know him.
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And he actually went out into the community and started to, you know, be on boards that were
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profit, you know, for profits and and so people could get an idea of who he was.
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So I think with authentic leadership, what happens is, unfortunately, it takes a critical
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situation for people to, I'm gonna say come to their knees to be able to connect.
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And I think it doesn't need to it it doesn't need to be something critical.
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That we all can be an awareness on on an ongoing basis so that we can kind of
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circumvent, anything critical happening we can make these changes and be in alignment to lead
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based on how we value.
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Yeah.
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This is a very hopeful message as you're saying.
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We don't lead our crisis or something critical to happen to us, but we can be in alignment, to
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to that emerging, let's say.
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You also talk about, one of the topics you talk about is also this balance processes in your
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book.
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Can you share with us little insight into what that is all about also.
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Now it's processing as a fancy word for moral alignment with your decision making.
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Yeah.
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So an example that I use in the book is when I was in Toronto and it was a SARS epidemic, not
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to date myself, anybody that remembers a SARS epidemic, but I was a I was a insective at that
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point.
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So we were going into the hospitals at that point.
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Now I got told as a senior executive that I didn't have to go in but my assistant had to.
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And she had her sons were, basically a year or year to 14 months.
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So there was a 2 month difference.
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And I said, you know, I can't send her in.
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So I went, to my superiors to say, okay.
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My son's importance, but so is her son.
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And she equally has the responsibility to her family as well.
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And we're not sure because our babies, they could be immunocompromised.
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So I in in that perspective, I demonstrated that I couldn't I wouldn't be able to live with
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myself if she went in because we were at the same stage.
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So Yeah.
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Last processing is just saying when I'm making decisions, is it an alignment with what I would
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expect people, to do around me.
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So don't be one way with yourself and then ultimately park those morals and beliefs and
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assumptions for everybody else.
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It should be, basically, a clean slate and transparency where you're projecting out the
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things that are important for you to the people around you.
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And then in turn, your teams or your culture, they should they should know what you're all
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about and know what you're gonna be like regardless of whether it's a critical situation
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over the day to day kind of, decision that you need to make.
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Yeah.
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This makes sense.
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That's having this integrity and applying that at all and and having that be a return on your
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relationship and people knowing what you were all about.
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And what you're all about.
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You also mentioned this thing with transparency to relational transparency.
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And how can we learn to be more transparent in our relationship?
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Tips.
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Would you like to share anything about that?
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Well, I think, you know, what's important with relational transparency is that I think the
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best teachers sometimes are the people that we bump up against.
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Right?
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Because I think they sometimes are your most natural teachers.
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So if you're a pretty good communicator generally, I think you go with the flow, but
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sometimes the people that are maybe not completely diametrically opposed, but people in
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your life might have little signs that says, hey, Roxanne.
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I haven't spent time with you or, hey, we haven't discussed X YOC.
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So I think instead of going, what now?
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Just say to yourself, what is it?
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What's what's the need that that person is identifying whether it's a team, whether it's
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in your family, whether it's in your community, and saying, what am I not understanding or
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coming in contact with me within myself?
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And sometimes it's not about you, but it's about creating the space and holding the space
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with that individual.
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But sometimes it is about us.
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Like, if I'm stressed and I'm I can be, you know, pretty down the middle, then I have, you
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know, oftentimes it's my son that says, hey, mom.
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You need a little bit too, direct with too many, like, I've just gotten 5 kind of
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directions in about 3 minutes, then that stops So I I think that relational transparency is to
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look reflect inside and say, what am I good at?
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And at times, what am I not good at?
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Based on the times that may be most critical for me when I'm maybe too busy or, juggling too
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many things or, maybe transitioning a lot of executive transition from being on, you know,
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at work and they come home and they're depleted.
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So how are you shifting so that you can create that seamless transition.
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Yeah.
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This is very interesting.
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How are we shifting?
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And also sometimes I'm thinking about how do we build connections when we are when you're busy,
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we also talk in the world a lot now about diversity, embracing inclusion.
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And and sometimes people are very different from us or hopes very work where where it needs
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a bit of time as well.
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Can you talk about craving good, authentic connections?
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Can I use an example of what happened with you and I in Rome?
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So Yeah.
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I was a speaker at the Wynn Conference in Rome and, Kristen is the head of of Wynn.
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And how many women, 4, 500 women, and, you know, I'm getting miked up to go on and so is
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she.
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And then go over and she stops everything.
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Like, she's in the middle of everything.
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And I I said to her a second, It's amazing how you channel attention amidst all this chaos.
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I don't even remember me saying that, but what she did is She stopped.
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You acknowledged it was how many speakers that were going on that day.
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And I felt completely like I was the only person in that room for that less than a
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minute, which grounded me further before I went on stage.
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So that's what I mean.
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It's that Yeah.
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You know, it's something that's simple, but amidst everything else.
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But I felt special importance.
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And then it it, you know, my level of, whatever I was feeling my state prior to getting on
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stage just you it was like having a more fuzzy blanket that you gave me, and then I went up
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and I was on stage.
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Thank you.
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And thank you for recognizing that.
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And having seen that, I think that feels also important.
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Right?
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And,
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it looks, and I'm sure you have seen many times inauthentic relationships also.
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Could you share some examples of that perhaps?
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Well, I use an example in the book and, It's something that I think will stay with me for a
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very, very long time.
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And when I was an executive, I managed a board several boards in my portfolio, but this
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particular one, it was, you know, it's like anything else.
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There was contention, and there was always service issues, but and those types of things.
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So my particular senior VP was not available that day.
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It was a pretty big renewal.
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It was a multi, year contract and we were going into pivotal, contracting in Toronto for the
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company that I worked with.
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High level can't lose this because it's not gonna go down very well.
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And, so I took another VP who happened to be female.
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In that board room, I was redressed.
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I was what happened is, automatically, the board was bringing up concerns, which Now I'd
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had tenure with this board for about 6 to 7 years at this point.
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Well, what happened is this female executive took me inadvertently took over the meeting
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she, I would say fired, but maybe not maybe not as directly, but she inadvertently said that
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she could replace the executive on the account in my presence on that board meeting.
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So needless to say, I'm trying to, like, keep things going.
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I'm try I mean, I'm dysregulated.
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I'm I'm, you know, long no longer present.
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I keep it together.
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I know these ten people very well.
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And what happened is as I left that meeting and went back to core corporate, the head of the
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board called me, and she said, whoever that woman was, Please ensure that she never is on
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our premises again because this business will be lost if she answers, our company again.
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And, you know, for me, of course, I was having a tough time and the feedback from the board
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was very, very positive.
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They acknowledge that there were things that we need to do different, but I had a connection
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with each one of them.
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So here is someone that was inauthentic, didn't really think to connect with what was
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happening, In that moment, yes, it was an important piece of business, but ultimately,
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you know, she she basically railroaded the entire I had to bring back, a cleanup crew if
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you wanna call it like that.
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Yeah.
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With, another, my senior VP when he was available, and we were able to save the
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business.
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So that was that was one of those things that I really it was very humbling for me, but also
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very telling about what it was like to be, you know, on the other end of somebody that really
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wasn't connected to me in any way or could read the room and if you're thinking what I talk
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about in the ROR, I'm talking about reading what's happening internally.
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Yeah.
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And then adjusting your behavior accordingly regardless of what's coming at you.
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And, clearly, she, you know, was the opposite of that.
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Yeah.
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So that's so interesting.
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Reading what's going on in inside the room and then also being able to read it outside,
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connecting those pieces.
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And the cost of not doing that, and this is also important.
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And I think now it is connecting with the humans.
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It's also incredibly important in this time.
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With all the automation and AIs and so on happening also.
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Roxanne, as we are coming to the close of the interview, I also know from you.
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What what is the dream that would happen?
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I mean, what would be the best that can happen now with the world reading your book?
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What would be the absolutely most amazing thing for you that can happen?
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Well, to touch as many lives, about people getting connected to themselves in the five
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areas that I talk about in the book.
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Like, to really recognize that it starts with you as in whatever capacity you're needing,
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whether you're in a company, a home, a community, a church, wherever you are, that you
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don't have to wait to make changes and awareness is something that, we're so scared,
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you know, scaring around in our days that we don't stop, don't wait.
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So my hopes is that the ROR plus program will you know, enter a realm on an international
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level where people would say, yeah.
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That makes so much sense.
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It's basic.
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But that, companies or communities are able to recognize that by resonating or connecting with
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your heart and starting with you as a leader, you can make change.
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Yeah.
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And you also have this test you can do, you know, authentic quotation for leadership.
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Maybe last little thing, can you share the Sure.
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That's it, please.
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In the book, there's an assessment called the, AQL, which is the authenticity, quotient for
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leaders.
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And in working with companies, what the leadership or leaders would do is they would do
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the assessment, but their teams would also do the same.
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And it's in the 5 areas, obviously, awareness recognition, balance processing, connection,
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and recognition.
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And then the leader is able to see oh, I'm pretty good here here.
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I think I'm good in this area, but then their team has, incongruent, data that says, well, in
23:05
fact, you're not so you're not so good.
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Around recognition.
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You're not so good around balance processing and then based on that, plans are developed so
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that we can work through what the leadership teams or individual leaders need to do to
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ultimately accentuate the parts that the teams are thinking that they're lacking out.
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And checking on it as we, go through the training and coaching with the company.
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Well, this is super useful.
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We I'm I'm sure that will be very useful for many people.
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I want to know, does any of you have any questions for Roxanne Maybe you already put
23:40
some in the textbooks.
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But if there is anything you want to also even raise your hand right now and say, any
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questions for her, that will be also quite appreciated.
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Let's see if I see any hands.
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I'll mute yourself.
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I'm also gonna see in the textbook in the text box if there was anything here.
24:07
I have
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a question.
24:08
Yes.
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Greg, please, please.
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Roxanne, how do you see the focus on return on relationships as being able to help solve our
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turnover issue in the age of the employee experience.
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Well, I think it's it can start us as soon as the the recruitment process.
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Right?
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Because I think what you should be looking at is what is the fit that you're looking for,
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based on wherever, what what job you're looking for or the sector as well.
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And thinking what qualities are you wanting that person to embody in order to increase
24:45
retention.
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Right?
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So let's say you're not gonna put somebody like me in in IT because I'm not probably not gonna
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go do very well because I like to connect with people.
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But I think, you know, starting as early as thinking, who do I want to attract in my
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company and then ultimately make ensuring that your leadership maximizes the capacity to, join
25:05
with the individuals that, you're recruiting.
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Thank you.
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Do we have any other questions?
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I don't just umute yourself and ask.
25:21
Yes.
25:21
Hi, Roxanne again.
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I'd love Well, talking about return on relationship.
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I have one here, who I hope benefits your and take everything into account.
25:35
What you wrote on a personal level.
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But I was wondering, I haven't read the book yet.
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But I was thinking as well, we speak a lot about history as well and antiquity.
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And I was thinking It was, amongst others, Aristotle said you need in every community
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where there's leadership, whether it's a company or or community.
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You need to treat each other as, friends, and he called it it's a different kind of friends
26:10
with benefits, but he meant you have to have a relationship with each other that's that in
26:18
which you exchange things.
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And that that might be, material, but that's mainly in how you care for one another.
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And it it just reminds me when I hear you speak about what you wrote, it reminds me of what he
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says about you have to treat your community either, and that applies as well to a com a
26:43
company as a special type of friendship It's not your best friend, but you have a different
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kind of friendship for citizens or people who you work with.
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And it sounds almost like you are expanding on that sort of train train of thought.
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From what I I say now in my own words, do you think that might apply or be a good connection
27:09
or Absolutely.
27:11
I think we talk a lot more about love in the workplace, and I I know, there there's if we
27:17
actually embody that space of reciprocity.
27:22
Yeah.
27:23
At work, Wendellin.
27:25
And Wendellin is speaks, on, she's a ruined historian and speaks a lot about female
27:30
leadership.
27:32
Absolutely.
27:33
Because if you can resonate at work, and and someone can feel your space, ultimately,
27:40
they're gonna they're gonna work really, really hard.
27:41
And I think of, the best leader that I ever worked for Oftentimes, I would do anything that
27:48
he wanted, sort of being criminal, because he was so phenomenal because he cared for me as a
27:54
person.
27:55
So I think, absolutely, Aristotle was right.
27:58
Yeah.
28:00
Yeah.
28:00
Thank you.
28:01
That's very good.
28:03
Yeah.
28:04
Oh, this is so beautiful.
28:05
Everything I think it also feels so good, Rook salmon.
28:08
I'm thinking sometimes now with AI and all the robots coming, and I was thinking, like, Oh,
28:13
it's so nice to hear that the whole area of authentic heart leadership and the human
28:18
relationships, and it's probably just gonna be more and more important that that's so unique
28:23
this.
28:24
And I guess that's for another discussion, but it's still important I feel to keep in mind.
28:29
So thank you.
28:31
Any other questions 4.
28:32
It looks on here this today.
28:35
Anyone?
28:36
Yeah.
28:37
Roxanne, I like what you wrote.
28:40
When you said that trust is not like a light bulb.
28:45
And so, you know, we work with leaders to help them build skills and sometimes that occurs.
28:50
After they've lost trust with the team.
28:53
So where does that leader trying to change?
28:57
Rebuild the trust because it's not like lab coat.
29:01
Mhmm.
29:03
Yeah.
29:03
And once you've you know, I and I often say you know, if you read the book on Office and you're
29:08
having scarred relationships, you're not gonna go all hands on deck and gonna go, try to apply
29:13
these things.
29:13
You have to sit with what's not gone well.
29:17
You have to address it and create the one down scenario which says, you know, I recognize that
29:23
I have not been doing this very, very well.
29:26
And so vulnerability is needed.
29:28
So that being said, the old autocratic relationship promoted that like I talked about
29:33
when I was in corporate.
29:35
But if you're wanting to reestablish trust, you have to own what you have not done well and ask
29:40
for assistance from the people saying that you wanna enhance the scale.
29:45
So, you know, and I'm not sure who was speaking.
29:47
Who was it that asked the question?
29:51
Hi, Susie.
29:53
Thank you.
29:54
You're welcome.
29:56
Hey.
29:56
Any other questions, or maybe it's completed now?
30:01
Okay.
30:01
Then thank you, Roxanne.
30:03
We will then move over to the panel.
30:05
So, Monica, can I have the slide of our panel list?
30:09
Is that possible?
30:10
The one with all of them in the one one that would be so awesome would be very helpful.
30:14
And we will hear more from Roxanne in the little while again.
30:18
But we're just gonna have a little have a panel with some other experts that here we go.
30:26
So we will hear from, this, I was about to say evening.
30:31
I'm sitting in the evening, but you are in the middle of the day.
30:33
Most of you We're gonna hear from Pete.
30:36
He's an expert in the field of human connection.
30:39
He's also the founder of the Genwell project, a Canadian organization that's dedicated to
30:44
making the world a healthier and happier place.
30:47
We are gonna also hear from Daryl Woon, and he's the founder and the CEO of or Orient.
30:53
I hope I got that right.
30:54
He's passionate about improving population health.
30:57
By changing population behavior one person at a time.
31:01
Barbara Vieder, is an award bidding expert in the field of mental Health, including most
31:07
recently recognized as one of Digital Health Canada's 2020, women leaders in Digital Health.
31:14
And then we have Linda Fitsk, and Linda is a multi award winning leader.
31:19
Keynote speaker author, university professor dedicating to amplifying and extending the
31:24
success of other high caliber business leaders.
31:27
And she is the founder and CEO of the leader her ship global.
31:31
And all of our speakers on this panel have done extensive work in the field of wellness, mental
31:38
health, authenticity, and worked a lot with people and helped many, many people.
31:43
So this is gonna be very exciting, and we're gonna have a conversation a lot around
31:48
authentic leadership.
31:49
So perhaps we can take the slide off now and have the pin the speakers as many of you as
31:55
possible Monica, can you help us with that?
31:58
I don't know if you can pin so many, all all of us at the same time.
32:02
Is that possible?
32:04
Could be possible.
32:05
Here we go.
32:06
Hi, Barbara.
32:08
There is Pete.
32:10
Good to see you.
32:11
Oh, you have in your teacher or, you know, human connection, Kathleen's on your sweater.
32:16
That's all.
32:17
Yeah.
32:17
I'd love a I'd love a copy of that, so I'd love that.
32:24
People are trying
32:24
to that happen, Roxanne.
32:27
Okay.
32:28
Even on your hat, it says, believe.
32:31
Wow.
32:31
So I know you worked a lot of this field, and, it's great to have other experts here alongside
32:38
the Roxanne.
32:39
And I'd like to ask you, How does oh, first of all, maybe what does an authentic, heart,
32:47
authentic heart leadership mean for you if I can hear some of you, what it means, and then
32:51
we can see how that can contribute also to our our organizations.
32:55
But Linda, could I ask you what does What does it mean for you?
32:59
Authentic Hart Leadership?
33:02
Oh, I don't think you're still there.
33:05
Yeah.
33:05
It's about making long lasting, positive, and meaningful contributions to the organization
33:13
and communities that we serve.
33:15
And in the lives of people that we need, I think you have to combine your mind and your
33:22
heart to lead and to achieve sustainable goals that the lasting impact by genuinely and
33:30
generously influencing people to believe, to trust, to join you in your mission.
33:36
It's an invitation.
33:37
It's not an order.
33:38
And what might be some of the strengths that we take for granted as women can help lead in high
33:46
stakes situations specifically.
33:48
I think that in organizations, we have to recognize and apply the strengths that each of
33:55
us her individually to everyday leadership challenges.
34:00
And I think that, in leadership level, we think a lot of that, how women can help shape the
34:05
corporate environment now so that they can continue to thrive.
34:11
But I think what something that Roxanne said is so powerful.
34:14
It's about establishing a unique leadership style based on your own values based on your
34:20
character traits based on your talents And if you're able to serve with your mind and with
34:26
your heart, incorporating an attitude of service to genuinely connect with the people in
34:32
your life, to earn their loyalty, in my mind, that is definitely authentic leadership.
34:39
Yeah.
34:40
Thank you.
34:40
I was also interested in how you say this, that It's an invitation.
34:45
It's not an order.
34:47
Right?
34:48
So that's very interesting.
34:49
Can we hear from, you mentioned the women.
34:51
I would like to hear now from some of the guys, Pete.
34:54
What does authentic heart leadership mean for you and how can that contribute to creating a
34:59
culture of trust and authenticity within organizations?
35:03
Well, it certainly is everything that Linda just mentioned, so fully aligned with all those
35:09
comments.
35:09
And I do believe it's the long game.
35:11
You know, we we have a society that's never been educated on the importance of human
35:16
connection to our health, our happiness, our longevity, or to the betterment of society.
35:21
So we have you know, graduates from the highest, academic institutions who were never
35:28
educated on this.
35:29
And this is why I think Roxanne's book and and the message that she's been sharing for a long
35:34
time is so critically important because we are educating leaders at all levels of
35:39
organizations of how human connection and and investing in getting to know people first as
35:46
human beings before we think of them as employees is so critically important.
35:52
So I'm excited to hear this conversation because at the end of the day, I'm sure
35:57
everybody on this panel is know, a line that it is it's not a short game.
36:01
It's a long game.
36:02
It's about authenticity each and every day, and it's about caring about people first as human
36:07
beings, you know, McKinsey at the start of the global pandemic with the great resignation said
36:12
the three reasons why people left organizations My boss doesn't care.
36:17
My company doesn't care, and I don't feel like I belong.
36:20
Well, those were 3, you know, leading indicators would suggest that most of us
36:26
weren't making the time to connect with people on an authentic level.
36:30
So and it didn't just happen in the pandemic.
36:32
It happened long before the pandemic.
36:35
It just took a pandemic to wake us up to it.
36:37
So, this is just a great conversation, and I think it really is a leading conversation that
36:43
people are waking up to at the end of the global pandemic.
36:47
Well, then I'd like to jump on I'd like to jump on what he just said because I think he says
36:52
and both Linda says some important things.
36:53
I I'm a big fan of servant leadership.
36:57
Yeah.
36:57
And I'm also a a fanatic about continuous quality improvement.
37:02
Who's the customer?
37:03
How do you really wow the customer?
37:06
And then how do you monitor to see if you're wowing the customer?
37:09
Well, We think of our customer often, first step is to find your customer as the people who
37:15
buy our product or service.
37:17
But the companies that have really figured it out have understood that perhaps your primary
37:22
customer is your own employees.
37:24
And imagine having a Net Promoter Score or 5 stars on how your employees feel about the
37:32
culture of your company and your leadership.
37:35
Those are the kinds of things we should be monitoring.
37:38
I think that into health care.
37:40
And when we think of health care, it all too often is transactional.
37:45
It's very unrerelationship based, and yet the very most effective health care systems in the
37:51
world that have conquered price, quality, and access are built on relationships.
38:01
Where relationships are more important than the treatment plan.
38:06
Because if someone's not gonna follow through with the treatment plan, what good is the
38:09
perfect treatment plan?
38:11
So the best health care systems have figured out that relationship isn't just a part of
38:16
leadership.
38:17
It's also a part of the way we do health care.
38:21
Yeah.
38:21
So this is so interesting what you're saying.
38:23
So it's not leadership is part of what we are doing, health care, but all other other forms
38:29
of serving.
38:33
Barbara, what's your take on all of this and authentic leadership?
38:39
I think, just to add to the conversation, I think the concept of being intentional is is
38:44
key.
38:44
And and certainly Roxanne talks about that, but you can be direct and kind.
38:49
And in fact, if you delay feedback, it can make that space even more difficult and people and
38:56
you delay learning.
38:58
What you're trying to do in being kind is actually bring up the best in the organization
39:03
and the people you work with, but also recognize it brings out the best of you in you.
39:08
So, I think creating safety, if you create a safe, psychologically safe environment, people
39:15
can take risk, And if you have that happening, then you have more potential.
39:20
People can grow farther and do things more more, impactfully.
39:27
I think the other thing is the collaboration.
39:31
You know, obviously leaders are often in a position of power but how do you work together?
39:37
What is the impact that everybody has?
39:40
And how do you isolate everybody's individual impact?
39:45
And the value of working collectively together.
39:48
So, I think, you know, lifting people up and recognizing the small and important as well as
39:57
the big things they do every day if you can isolate how they're contributing, put it into
40:04
the context of what you're trying to achieve, it allows people to connect to the importance
40:10
of the of the overall goal.
40:12
And I think that that relates to being kind and it it allows people to to grow.
40:20
This is, a very interesting Barbara.
40:22
You mentioned also how to be direct and kind at the same time.
40:26
And it is very interesting, though, in in building relationships, how to how to cultivate
40:31
empathy and compassion.
40:33
Daryl, you mentioned high quality.
40:35
And I'm wondering, can we talk also about how to be have to have good quality relationship
40:41
where we are?
40:42
Clear and then we have clarity, but also heart, empathy, compassion.
40:49
Who would like to share something on that?
40:52
Pete?
40:54
Yeah.
40:54
I think, you know, and I'll I just wanna build on on Barbara's comments is, you know,
40:59
oftentimes we wait until the crisis before we start interacting with people.
41:04
You know, everybody coming together, we got a crisis.
41:07
Let's go solve it.
41:08
Instead of early and often, building these connections on an ongoing basis so that we
41:14
don't get to the crisis so that we have radical candor.
41:17
Somebody put a Linda.
41:19
I think you put in there.
41:20
You know, totally agree.
41:22
We have a we have a society that oftentimes shies away from the tough conversations and
41:28
yet, when we have the frequency, when we built the relationship, I I use the example of my own
41:33
neighborhood, you know, because we have a great relationship with our neighbors, if something
41:38
goes sideways like, you know, a tree falls down and takes out the fence.
41:42
We're not gonna start by having, catastrophic conversation where it's like, well, you did,
41:49
you know, it's gonna start off with, hey, Pete, you know, hey, when we get together week for a
41:54
beer or a coffee, you know, we're gonna be able to get through this and we'll figure out how to
41:59
get to the end.
41:59
I think what we need to recognize is, you know, we as a society need to recognize both in the
42:06
workplace and externally in all the relationships that we have when we don't invest
42:11
the time, it ends up causing greater grief down the road.
42:16
And now we know the research shows us a single greatest contributor to happiness is human
42:20
connection and the relationships.
42:22
We know that it increases productivity, optimism, trust, loyalty, collaboration,
42:28
retention, all the business measures are there, and the human measures are there.
42:34
And now because most of us were never thought we're never educated on it.
42:39
Oftentimes, we start with the word culture.
42:42
And I think culture is a word that people don't quite understand because made up of a whole
42:47
bunch of things.
42:48
Whereas if we focus on what is it that we're talking about here, it starts with connecting
42:54
as human beings.
42:55
And once we actually create that empathy and compassion for one another, the world truly is
43:00
our oyster, but if we don't start by actually engaging as human beings, I think it creates
43:06
challenges all the way along.
43:08
So it's interesting that you mentioned also taking the time to do so, you know, and that
43:12
that that can even also elaborate her a little bit sometimes in in corporate pressure or even
43:17
as as small entrepreneurs or a lot of entrepreneurs, there's a pressure on producing
43:21
and being fast and getting output and and consultants are paid by the hour and so on and
43:27
so forth.
43:28
Anyone here who has some strategies, maybe I can ask Daryl strategies on what can you do to
43:33
take that time to build that empathy factor into it?
43:37
I'd love to jump in.
43:38
I you know, we my company or Ryan coaches people, and it's about building relationships
43:45
with trust for people.
43:46
We'll open up and you know, explain what their challenges are.
43:49
And the most significant barrier to people thriving And one of the greatest contributors
43:58
of downstream mental health problems is the work environment that people work in.
44:03
And when we wanna address both health, productivity, well-being, nothing could be
44:08
better than creating relationships in leadership and in the company.
44:12
And treating employees as a customer.
44:15
Yeah.
44:16
Yeah.
44:17
It's interesting.
44:17
It's the barrier itself.
44:19
It's the workplace.
44:22
You know,
44:25
being able to nurture a team environment where empathy, humility, self knowledge are rewarded.
44:36
Those character trace those attributes, those ways of behaving are actually rewarded, whether
44:43
that's just simply praise or there's some sort of monetary, incentive for ensuring that, you
44:50
know, those are the keys that we acknowledge help excel in leadership.
44:56
And so we are going to build the way that we interact with each other, the way that we
45:04
really reward leadership based on those principles of, you know, ensuring that we are
45:11
being that we have a sense of self knowledge that we are humble, and we're humble enough to
45:16
continue to learn.
45:18
And I think often the leader has the responsibility of modeling that.
45:23
I think as leaders, we have to have an authentic communication and leadership style,
45:27
and I added into the the chat that I think we have to really model what it is to navigate
45:35
through uncomfortable conversations We have to navigate through really difficult negotiations.
45:42
We have to acknowledge our own impostor syndrome we have to be able to give and receive
45:48
actionable feedback in a fair, equitable way that really honors the relationship And I think
45:54
we always have to, you know, model this idea of setting and reasserting boundaries too.
46:02
Because by doing that, we're giving permission for those people that we do lead to set
46:07
boundaries as well.
46:08
We're giving them permission to set and a certain boundaries between their personal life
46:14
and their professional life.
46:16
So, in my mind, I think that, you know, Absolutely.
46:20
We have an opportunity to nurture the kind of qualities and attributes and characteristics
46:25
that we want to nurture and flourish in the team environment, and then we have an
46:31
opportunity as a leader to actually demonstrate and model what authentic communication
46:36
leadership style looks like.
46:39
Thank you.
46:39
It's interesting how you talk about rewards, getting awards for the qualities that her exam
46:45
is elaborating in her book Barbara.
46:48
I'd like to hear also.
46:49
Maybe share something about what comes in the way for or compassionate and authentic
46:56
leadership.
46:57
Well, I think we've talked about modeling, but within that modeling, it's acknowledging your
47:01
vulnerability that you are not perfect and that, you want people to feel that they don't
47:07
have to be perfect and and being you know, vulnerable allows for more openness.
47:12
I think as leaders, and I think we this is really key is you have to spend time with
47:16
everybody in in the best way you can.
47:19
And I think it's very important on how you will be evaluated.
47:23
It's easy to be at the front of the parade as we say, and download a lot of information, but
47:28
you have to put yourself in the back row.
47:32
You have to listen and hear the feedback because the back row, the people who are at the
47:38
operational level that are gonna give you the true sense of whether you are authentic and if
47:43
you are connecting.
47:45
They will grade you, and that's maybe not the best way to say that, but they will evaluate
47:49
your performance, and you have to be reflective.
47:52
And I I like the the tool that, Roxanne gives on authentically reflecting on every
47:59
opportunity that you can.
48:01
That is your place to grow to listen to the feedback, but also be reflective of your own
48:07
performance.
48:09
Oh, thank you Barbara.
48:10
I wanna know if there's any quest if there are any questions in the larger zoom room, If you
48:17
have questions, just unmute yourself, say your name, ask a question.
48:21
And if there's anyone particular you have a question, you want to ask
48:27
The one thing that I wanted to add about what was said is that when leaders actually look at
48:33
their adult attachment styles and work through it, Then, you know, there's a growth that you
48:39
can come from.
48:40
Right?
48:40
And in the book, I talk about a leadership.
48:42
What is your leadership legacy?
48:44
So, you know, why is it that I'm triggered?
48:47
You know, everybody can get a maybe 95% of people can get along with me, but there's gonna
48:52
be 5% or maybe even higher that's not gonna get along with me, and how does that impact my
48:58
ability to to lead?
48:59
And that's where I think a lot of the reflecting comes into play because it's about
49:03
our responsibility to say, what is it that I need to shift as a leader?
49:08
And in coaching leaders, it's really about saying, Wow.
49:11
I didn't like the way Linda spoke to me there.
49:14
Linda's bringing up some things that I already don't feel comfortable with.
49:17
So the human instinct is to cut it off.
49:21
Or when you kind of spend time in reflection or awareness, then you understand how that
49:26
impacted you as a leader.
49:27
And why you had such a mean that a visceral reaction to, in interaction, and that's where I
49:33
think a lot of growth comes, and you get better.
49:35
We're human at the end of the day.
49:37
And we're we're leading others.
49:40
I love that, Roxanne, and you said he's staying with legacy.
49:43
We are on a growth journey.
49:44
I mean, we are on the journey of of of growing as humans, constant please.
49:47
So this is such an opportunity.
49:50
Self reflection.
49:53
I see Trina has a question.
49:56
Yeah.
49:56
I do, and I I apologize for coming late.
49:59
But I love where I just jumped into with that empathetic reflection and how, I guess, Roxanne
50:06
and for everybody else who was kind of sharing, how does that authentic reflection play a role,
50:12
or what does that look like when we're talking about trauma informed or creating psychological
50:18
health and safe workplaces?
50:21
I'll jump in if I can because I think, psychological safety for me allows you to speak
50:26
up and to be yourself.
50:28
That is sort of a very high level.
50:30
Definition.
50:31
I hope that works for you, Trina.
50:33
I've been on a journey of late just to reflect on my career.
50:36
I'm I'm, you know, was at the same workplace for years years years.
50:41
I won't tell you how many, but a heck of a long time.
50:44
And what I did as part of my closure And this was very important was to go backwards in time
50:50
and and really examine the relationships that I valued and go back appreciate people.
50:56
I think appreciation, an authentic appreciation, pays forward a legacy, but it
51:02
also encourages a momentum for others to do that.
51:06
And it was so powerful to go through that I actually did 3 a day for an entire month
51:10
because I had the time.
51:12
And, and 3 a day is a lot, but you go back and specifically isolate the impact people had on
51:20
you.
51:21
And how much you value them, regardless of their role in the organization, the feedback
51:26
and the opportunity you get to hear back from people is amazing.
51:31
I was trying to thank people and sort of isolate what they've done for me, and what they
51:36
gave me in return was overwhelming and generous.
51:39
And I think that that ability to do that more and more creates this the psychological safety.
51:46
I hope that's helpful.
51:48
Yeah.
51:48
No.
51:48
I love that.
51:49
Very good.
51:50
Yeah.
51:51
Yeah.
51:52
If if I can jump in, you know, what I what I build on Barbara's, you know, the Genwell, the
51:56
Genwell project is Canada's human connection movement.
51:59
And and our effort is to build a national movement that's actually recognizing just how
52:04
much we need each other and how powerful human connection is our happiness and our health.
52:10
You know, the goal in creating, stronger social health and social connections in our lives
52:17
inside and outside of work because let's remember we don't isolate our lives outside of
52:22
work or inside of work.
52:23
They are interconnected in how they impact each other.
52:27
And so our goal is, in educating all Canadians, 40,000,000 of us about just how much we need
52:34
each other so that we make it psychologically safe.
52:37
There's no question that there's going to be trauma to Barbara's, comments but let's hope we
52:42
can come into an office from day 1 and start building those connections where people feel
52:48
that psychological safety.
52:49
I think the challenge that we're all addressing here is the fact that so many organizations
52:55
were absolutely atrocious at creating those healthy, safe workplaces where people felt
53:02
comfortable to work and and come to each and every day that's part of the reason why I think
53:06
so many people don't want to go back is because they didn't feel safe.
53:11
They didn't feel welcome.
53:12
They didn't feel a sense of belonging.
53:14
And so, you know, our goal is Canada's human connection movement is to educate people about
53:19
this in all parts of their life so that we can take it into the workplace and do it
53:24
proactively instead of, you know, having to rack react often times, in response to an
53:31
unfortunate incident or to somebody having a a a bad experience?
53:36
I would just wanna add one other point, and this is a call out to leaders in particular,
53:42
but to peers as well.
53:45
If you are not being kind and if you are behaving in ways that are harmful to others.
53:51
Don't think it's not noticed.
53:53
People may not be able to speak out about it, or they may not feel they the culture is safe.
53:59
But it is noticed and it affects, as you were saying, the culture in the workplace every day.
54:05
It is a drain, and it is harmful.
54:08
So I just think there are illusions sometimes within work culture that believes, hey, no one
54:13
noticed art.
54:14
It's okay.
54:16
You're you're being watched as a leader as we were saying earlier and to be a model every
54:22
day.
54:22
And if you don't do a good job, you can correct it by acknowledging it and showing
54:27
vulnerability.
54:28
So I you can hear the passion of my voice, so I felt I wanted to underscore There is no secret
54:34
when you behave well and you are kind and authentic and there is no secret if you are not
54:39
rising to that challenge.
54:41
Yeah.
54:42
This is very good point, isn't it?
54:44
Thank you.
54:45
It's felt everywhere.
54:47
Wonderful.
54:48
Any other questions?
54:50
Before we go to our surprises, Roxanne, please?
54:54
Well,
54:56
I have a couple of questions with some giveaways.
55:01
So if if anybody gets this first one, that would be a good thing.
55:08
What was my nickname?
55:10
And just put up your hand because you can win the 3 prizes that I'm giving away.
55:15
What was my nickname?
55:18
As a little girl.
55:19
Anybody?
55:20
Because you can do it with 2 boats or a package with, coaching cards and 2 coaching sessions in
55:27
and a couple of books.
55:28
Anybody?
55:29
Trave trouble.
55:30
Maybe trouble.
55:32
Well, trouble that I was, because I was not able to help.
55:35
Right?
55:35
So the only thing I can do was to get in trouble to get notice.
55:38
I wasn't the first and I wasn't the golden one.
55:40
No.
55:41
Not trouble.
55:43
Oh, good.
55:43
The Sean.
55:44
Pastor box.
55:46
Yes.
55:46
That's it.
55:47
He said that Sean.
55:49
Sean, you win the prize.
55:51
And I would say that, she would have read my, my website because I talked a little bit about
56:00
doing for a living.
56:01
When I my parents thought they actually are gonna appear to do something.
56:05
So chatterbox was my was my nickname.
56:11
Second, trivia question is how many keynotes do I offer to the to, in my business?
56:21
Anybody, just put up your hand.
56:23
Make a guess.
56:24
Linda, 5.
56:26
No.
56:28
5.
56:28
I think it will move a lot more work.
56:31
Loops.
56:31
No.
56:31
You have aggression.
56:32
Loopna.
56:33
Another question to answer.
56:34
I I think it's 3.
56:36
Lubna, we she went to 2nd prize.
56:40
Thank you so much.
56:44
And the last trivia question is, what did I go to school?
56:48
What is my formal designation that I went school for.
56:51
I went to UFT.
56:53
I'll give you a hand.
56:54
I know, and I'm not gonna say it.
56:56
I'm not gonna
57:00
anybody else want to take a guess?
57:02
Psychologists.
57:05
Psychotherapist.
57:06
But you know what, Linda?
57:07
That's that's close enough.
57:09
Oh, I think
57:10
the difference between US and Canada perhaps because in the US, we call them psychologists
57:16
and perhaps in a psychotherapist, but it with parts of PhD.
57:20
And so I am a I'm a psychologist here in the US and your psychotherapist.
57:26
Right.
57:26
Right?
57:27
Absolutely.
57:28
And I see Jennifer Spare got psychotherapist.
57:30
She put psychotherapist in the, in the chat.
57:34
But, yes, Linda, there is differences in different provinces.
57:38
We need a PhD.
57:39
Now with me, I have a a grad, a grad degree.
57:44
So this has been truly amazing.
57:47
You know, I'm I am speechless when I, along with my team who has worked awfully hard,
57:53
Monica and James.
57:54
I I think it's on there somewhere.
57:56
Put this together.
57:58
I often say this is what I do when I have my get togethers at home.
58:02
Is that put all these amazing people together because I met them all.
58:06
And in a way, I don't give them a choice.
58:09
I put them together and say, I get to I bet I hope they're gonna get along.
58:13
It generally people get along, and I look at all the amazing people that were here today,
58:17
and I'm so grateful The breadth and depth, that you have brought has made, this day truly
58:24
amazing.
58:24
I can say for everyone that's attended Usha, Trina, Usha, is not coming on camera, but this
58:32
is my youngest friend.
58:34
I have to tell you a little story before I let you go.
58:36
So I used to go on stage and sing, in primary school, but I wouldn't go on stage without
58:42
OSHA.
58:43
I would sing, and she would be my support.
58:46
It it I don't know.
58:47
Is she gonna come on camera?
58:49
There she is.
58:51
I would make her be my emotional support when I was eleven years old, and and we used to do the
58:57
talent show but once a month, I never went up alone.
59:00
And so I'm so grateful that she could be here again.
59:02
Thank you love for being here.
59:07
For everyone else, this has been an amazing time.
59:11
The book is, doing well.
59:13
It was launched formally last Saturday, and it is on Amazon.
59:17
It hits number 5 in a lot of different categories.
59:20
So if you haven't grabbed a copy, please, you know, we wanna try to get to number 1.
59:25
It's it's available on Kimball.
59:27
I would love if you could, if you haven't gotten one to get 1, here's Laurie holding up
59:31
the book.
59:32
Here it is.
59:32
I hope you could see it with my backdrop there.
59:35
You can't.
59:36
There we go.
59:37
And if anybody wants a copy, you know, let me know if we can get that off to you.
59:42
So again, grateful.
59:44
Kristen, you've done an amazing job.
59:47
And Linda, thank you so much for coming, Daryl.
59:51
Again, thank you so much, Barb.
59:54
As always, you you always bring it home.
59:57
And for everyone to be attended, you know, I look forward to connecting with you all.
1:00:02
And if you're needing anything, for me just to reach out, through my website
1:00:06
roxannederabad.com.
1:00:09
Okay.
1:00:09
Take care, everyone.
1:00:10
Thank you.
1:00:11
Thank you.
1:00:12
Thank you, Eric.
1:00:13
So that everybody, let's go get the book and give it to friends, buy it for companies and
1:00:17
everybody.
1:00:18
Right?
1:00:19
I've got mine all tived already.
1:00:21
Thank you Roxanne.
1:00:23
Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive health
1:00:29
change.
1:00:30
Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
1:00:36
roxannederhaj.com/blueprint.
1:00:40
We'll see you next time on authentic living with Roxanne.