Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Senseless Survey: The Art of Absurd Questions

Transcript

Senseless Survey: The Art of Absurd Questions · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Elephone. It's coming up next. O.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Here we go, Here we go.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Here's another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM Mornings,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: KFM Mornings. All right, senseless survey time, here we go.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: How many questions will I ask in this morning? Since
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: the survey? We'll start with you, Sherlyn Barns.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: I have fifteen fifteen absolutely not eleven questions.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Eleven, oh, producer bread twelve, Well, then remise Cahn. Fourteen
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: questions all wrong?
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Sorry, no, nothing for everyone like eight or something?
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Ummm no, oh oh curious. Yeah, look thirteen All your
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: guess is all still wrong. Okay, but I do see
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: a few correct ones on the WhatsApp telephone. Okay, So
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: this is as you know, I ask the very serious
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: questions that need answering in this country to move there,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: absolutely right. Society is stagnant.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: With every every week, society waits for this.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, you know what grows in stagnant water. Bull hasier. Okay,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: it's very deadly, bull hasier.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: I haven't heard someone use the words we feared.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: You know, there was always bothasier in water.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: And there was like rumors at school. You know how
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: you can tell if you spit in the water and
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: then you're split like it dissipates, then you know it's fine.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: But if it stays there.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: And now how bad is Bulthazier? Actually? Now I need
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: to know why were we so scared? We were scared
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: of the ozone and we were scared of bothasia and well, well,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: let me tell you. Bojasia is a very serious parasitic
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: disease caused by worms that can lead to chronic ill health,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: organ damage, organ failure, liver disease. Now I see why
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: we were so scared of bojasia infertility. It's awful death,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: that's what it says, Okay, and it's transmitted. The disease
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: is caused by microscopic parasites found in certain fresh water snails.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: M So that's why we were scared of Bojasier.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Make everything sound so hectic?
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Back then, how did we get onto bothasier? I don't
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: know you brought it up? Okay, So the questions that
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: need answering for'mo a random person. See how long I
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: can keep them on the line. For here we go. Hi,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I'm agent for six one. I'm calling you from the
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Census Bureaum. I just need to ask you a couple
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: of questions for your country. Okay, when people say enjoy
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: them while they are young, are they actually talking about
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: your knees and hips?
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: Come on, man, stop kidding me now, No, I don't think.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Don't you think it is sad that the most redeemable
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: quality that most people have is that they are biodegradable, biodegradible?
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: Just get down to business man.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Do you save on toilet paper by wearing two ply underwear?
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: You know what I don't understand?
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, one one more question. Do you think that
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: people that name their son guy are just too damn
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: lazy to name the kid?
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: I think? Yeah, you should give you the name? Am
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: I right?
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Absolutely?
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: Exactly by nature you've got to give you. And he's
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: just a guy, and it can never be somebody's name.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: You know, I'm not a human being named, you know
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: what I mean?
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Do you think that worms should be given bows and
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: arrows to help them fight against birds.
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: Whom they won't do that? They won't be able to
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: do that? How can now I'm using an error?
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Okay? How often do you live by the mater? Smile?
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Lucky farted and no one knows?
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: No, naturally, I'm a man who always smiles all the time.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: You know the Shazam app that identifies songs on the radio.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Should there be a Shazam app for the names of
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: people that you've only met once? Yeah?
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: Sure?
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Do you need to find hobbies that don't include your
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: debit card?
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: I think so.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Isn't it nice when your car of practice does not
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: charge you when he adjusts your toes with his mouth?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Do you know that there's a good way to tell
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: if you're overweight? It's if a child draws your body
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: with a circle or a stick, A little bit of
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: child psychology. Do you see what I mean about how
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: important these things?
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: What the hell was that?
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Ask your kid to draw you today? And if they
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: draw you with a circle or a stick? You no? Overall,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: not that question? Which one the car of practice and
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: the toes? If you don't have good medical aid, you
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: got to take what you can get.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: If you try to squeeze in your weird fetishes into
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: the sense of you better stop right now.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Everybody has medical aid.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Serves us onto something there, dre and you've brought up
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: feet quite a bit.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: Don't use the censors as some fetish playground. Well nonsense,
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: That is not where I thought that was going.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: It should not have gone there.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Well, maybe your underpins should be too.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: C Batman was so patient underwear liners.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: South Africans are actually too kind to you, too good
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: to you, he was.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: He was great. Carry on, under underwear liners, What next thought?
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Sheldon is totally checked out of this conversation. Where are you?
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Shouldn pop quiz tomorrow? Good? I'm losing myself? What's dogs? Cats?
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: What's my name? Marma? Katy Perry never really over on
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: KFM Mornings at twenty five minutes after eight o'clock. Okay,