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When People Lie Behind Your Back · Let's Ask the Mamas!

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  We got a question for American mama's. Dear mamas, how do you deal
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  with people who lie about you behind your back? It's a good topic.
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  Well let's ask our American mama's mama mama and joining us now our American mama
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  is Terry Nedville and Kimberly Burlison. This is this is a I think a
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  fairly common problem in workplaces and in other social situations. You're there's almost always
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  at least a person who's says things about you that's not true behind your back,
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  and when you find out, it can be somewhat painful. Yes,
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  oh yeah, it's a struggle. I remember we had somebody that worked for
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  us at our company and she stole from us. Oh, and we had
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  to let her go. She was not a good person. And she went
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  to a church that we joined, and I didn't know she was a member
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  of that church. So we joined the church. And immediately she start sharing
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  things, and I know it was like to save herself because she was worried
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  about if I would ever say something about her. I don't know, but
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  she started sharing things that were not true to other people, and I panicked,
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  and I wanted so badly to tell them, let me tell you about
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  this girl. But my mom was the one that said, nope, do
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  not say one word. The truth always comes to the surface. People realize
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  bad people reveal themselves all the time, so you're not that you're a good
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  person, so just keep your mouth shut. That's what I did. She
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  said, bad people reveal themselves all the time, all the time, okay,
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  and it is the truth. And this particular girl did, in time,
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  reveal herself to these people. And it was probably years later that I
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  became really good friends with one and she shared with me what was said,
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  and she said, I can't believe that you never said anything. And it's
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  like she admired me, right, And I was so happy that I listened
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  to my mom because my first instinct was to go share about her, but
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  I didn't, and it was such a lesson for me. It's one of
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  us on the show when someone gives you the high road, take it.
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  Yeah, it's so true. Yeah, And you know, it's so funny
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  because I don't want to know when people tell me something that something maybe a
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  friend said that's negative. Like throughout the years, even as a mom,
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  another mom says something I don't want to know it because I can't help but
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  not treat them the same. You know, I'm a little bit, you
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  know, a little bit cooler, you know, I don't really I'm one
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  of those that will I'll be friendly, but your arms la distance now because
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  now I know how what you said about me, even though they didn't mean
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  it, or maybe they didn't mean it, or maybe it was just a
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  bad day, or maybe they took something I said wrong. But my thing
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  is when I remember one of my friends was like, let me tell you
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  what so and so said. I was like, don't, don't. I
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  don't want to hear this because if I don't know it, it can't hurt
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  me. If I don't know it, I'm still going to be kind to
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  her and she'll come back around. If I don't know it, then I
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  can still be my best self. If I know it, I know my
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  personality, and I'm going to kind of ignore, like I don't see you,
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  you know, And that's not who I want to be. So I
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  whenever my kids would say you know, it's usually girls you know that would
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  say you know, Soozoe said this, I would say, God, well,
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  I wish that your friend didn't tell you that I wish she was good.
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  Because I've had people that say things to me negatively about one of our
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  friends. I would never in a million years tell that person because that's going
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  to cause a risk. I just let her vent to me, and then
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  I might say, well, she let me just tell you she's going through
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  a rough time right now or whatever. Try to help it, or just
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  let her vent and be done with it, and then we're all friends.
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  So as a friend, I propose, don't ever tell another friend something negative
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  that someone else has said. It's never worth it. Like in that moment,
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  you might be like, oh, I guess what she said about you
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  and that girl, and then y'all have your It is not worth it in
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  the end, like she said, it all comes out in the wash.
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  The dirt always comes out, and if you stay clean on your side,
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  there's no harm. Uh, you guys matter if I bring some some biblical
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  stuff into this. First of all, God said vengeance is mine, right,
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  So even if somebody is saying something bad about you, don't so what
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  another one that I really love? As the back in the Old Testament,
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  Israelites are about to start moving in towards the Promised Land, and there's a
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  king that sees him coming in. So he calls this this prophet, and
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  he says, I want you to stand here and curse the Jews, curse
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  all of Israel. And the prophet sends there and she goes, I bless
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  you, and he goes, no, no, no, no, no,
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  you're doing wrong. And he turns the face the east, and he
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  faces the east and now curse them, and he blesses them. No,
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  no, no, turns to the west. Curse them. Now I bless
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  them. Dude, I keep telling you to curse them, and you keep
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  blessing them. Why, he says, how can I curse those who God
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  has not cursed? So too prong on this one. If God hasn't cursed
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  somebody, your won't do any good. True too, If God has cursed
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  them, what would your curses at exactly? And your curse probably backfires and
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  hurts you. It kind of can be like that. So even if somebody's
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  talking about you behind your back. Yeah, I think you guys are kind
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  of going about the same thing. Terry, you're doing it through I don't
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  want to know. Yeah, And Kimber, You're like, okay, now
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  that I do know, man, I'm just going to take the high row
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  right. Yeah, I like it. I think that's a good advice.
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  You have options people. I like to be the I like my head in
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  the saying I don't want to know, and if I do, you know.
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  Luckily we have the same mom who helps walk us through the same thing,
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  and basically she'll say just be yourself because eventually people have heard things will
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  be like, well, that doesn't this doesn't go along with what this person
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  said about her. She's actually pretty cool, pretty sweet. It always comes
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  out. It's always it's always okay. If you like Desker American Mama's a
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  question, go to our website American ground Radar dot com, slash Mama's and
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  click on the ass the Mama's button turned out of Kimberly bro Listen. Thank
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  you so much. Thanks