Latest / The Living Freed Podcast / Modesty? Is it hot?
Transcript
- 0:19Hey y 'all, I'm Hannah Liz, a coastal living,
- 0:22Jesus living, NC native, and this is the Living
- 0:25Free podcast. where we discuss intentionally
- 0:28living our lives to the fullest that God has
- 0:30intended, having those late night open heart
- 0:33friend convos, not letting others, ourselves,
- 0:36or ideas hold us down, allowing Jesus to free
- 0:39us of the chains that we didn't know we were
- 0:41holding onto. You can see the full show notes
- 0:44attached to this episode, and if you loved this
- 0:46episode, please leave me a review. Alright, it's
- 0:49time for a weekly catch up where you get to see
- 0:51a little into my personal life and what's been
- 0:53going on. First, starting with a boy disliking
- 0:57my message. So last summer, I casually dated
- 1:01this guy long distance. He lived in Raleigh,
- 1:03I lived in Wilmington. I just noticed some character
- 1:06traits in him that I didn't appreciate and I
- 1:08didn't flat out say like, hey, you're rude to
- 1:10our waitress and basically, I actually didn't
- 1:13even basically say. What he said to me, which
- 1:16was when I was like, this is not gonna work,
- 1:18was sometimes you have to make decisions for
- 1:20your partner. that even though they say they
- 1:22don't want to go into the next door you go anyways
- 1:24because you know what's best for them that just
- 1:26rubbed me the wrong way y 'all so anyways i was
- 1:30polite i sent him a text the next day letting
- 1:32him know i don't really see us moving forward
- 1:34um and if i was ever in rally again i would let
- 1:38him know and we could catch up and be friends
- 1:39if he's interested he never responded this was
- 1:42in august of 2024 Well, I wake up this past Sunday
- 1:46morning, almost a year later, to him disliking
- 1:50my message at 9 .30 in the morning. 9 .30 in
- 1:53the morning! First off, sir, shouldn't you be
- 1:55in church? Why are you going back in your messages
- 1:58to go dislike something I sent a year ago? Anyways,
- 2:01that was really weird. Um, didn't appreciate
- 2:04that. Lowkey thought I was hallucinating from
- 2:06sleep depravation, but… yeah. Anyways, um… The
- 2:11next thing was later that day I went on the boat.
- 2:15My guy best friend has a boat. I went on the
- 2:16boat with him and his girlfriend and a group
- 2:18of our other friends and we had the best time.
- 2:21I was collecting seashells because I'm working
- 2:23on this little art thing that I want to do for
- 2:25my room and um ended up picking up some trash
- 2:29you know trying to treat the earth because we
- 2:31love her. We love her a lot and take care of
- 2:34her and while I'm picking up trash guess what?
- 2:36Your girl found $5 in the sand. Yep, a real $5
- 2:40bill. So I took that baby with me and I spent
- 2:43it on some sushi from the grocery store later
- 2:45this week. It was fantastic. But then I got a
- 2:50terrible migraine at dinner with my friends and
- 2:53my sweet mama who only lived a mile away came
- 2:55and picked me up and took me home and I was in
- 2:58bed by 730 and I was out. I was out. I was asleep.
- 3:03until about 6am that next day and I needed it
- 3:06because I haven't had a migraine since my surgery,
- 3:09since before my surgery. It was rough. It was
- 3:12really really rough. And of course my friends
- 3:14checked in on me because they're amazing people
- 3:16and human beings and I've recovered and I'm back
- 3:19better than ever and not gonna try and let that
- 3:23happen again. But anyways that's what's happened
- 3:25this week and what I'm focusing on this week
- 3:28is I really feel that I really felt it laid on
- 3:32my heart to focus on things that relax me or
- 3:35make me feel renewed. So I spent yesterday and
- 3:38today in the sun at the pool for a couple hours.
- 3:42I read a book that I'm really enjoying. I've
- 3:45spent time with friends. We had Bible study last
- 3:48night because I am recording on a Thursday today.
- 3:52And I'm gonna start doing research on like fun
- 3:55casual things to do like a summer bucket list
- 3:58because I Loved a summer bucket list as a kid.
- 4:01I love to check it off So I'm gonna try and create
- 4:04like an adult summer bucket list and check something
- 4:06off like once a week and because we live in Wilmington
- 4:09our summer kind of gets extended to I would say
- 4:13about October ish. We call it more like local
- 4:15summers early October late September so I'm about
- 4:19to really So my plan is to have it work all the
- 4:23way until early October. That's the plan at least
- 4:26Oh, and I bought my flight for Iceland and I'm
- 4:29pumped. I'm so freaking pumped Iceland happens
- 4:31in July at the end I'm going with my little brother
- 4:34my younger brother. He hates it when I say my
- 4:36little brother I'm going with my younger brother
- 4:38and I cannot wait This has been a bucket list
- 4:42item of mine for years years and I am so pumped
- 4:45like cannot say it enough I am so so pumped eight
- 4:48days in Iceland. It's gonna be magical, and I'm
- 4:51gonna come back exhausted. Well, that's all I
- 4:55have for our weekly catch -up, so let's dive
- 4:58in in today's episode. Okay friends, today we're
- 5:06going to talk about modesty. I know, right? Just
- 5:09in time for summer. Anyone who grew up in church
- 5:12isn't new to the word modest, or the cringe phrase,
- 5:15modest is hottest. Ugh. That has always given
- 5:18me the ick. But! If you didn't grow up in church
- 5:21or on the rise of purity culture, then this might
- 5:24be a new concept for you. And maybe you're on
- 5:27your faith journey and are trying to figure out
- 5:28how modesty applies to you and your choice of
- 5:31clothing wear. Is it something you pursue and
- 5:33explore? What does it mean to dress modest? Because
- 5:36none of us are out here trying to look like Little
- 5:38House on the Prairie or dress like it in the
- 5:41middle of the summer heat. I find the word modest
- 5:43to be pretty relative to a degree. Common debates
- 5:46in the Christian world are bikinis or short shorts,
- 5:50which piece I loved until my frontal lobe developed,
- 5:53and crop tops. For those who grew up in church,
- 5:55we'd go to our Christian summer camps, and they'd
- 5:57say to make sure our shorts have to go past our
- 6:00fingertips. Bring a one -piece swimsuit, and
- 6:03if you don't, you'll have to wear a t -shirt
- 6:04over your swimsuit. And if you wore crop tops,
- 6:07some nice group leader would find you and tell
- 6:10you at some point you need to go back and change
- 6:12before the next group event. Now, some people
- 6:15took it farther than that. I will never forget.
- 6:19Like truly scarred me. Never forget. When I wore
- 6:23a sparkly shirt once to a home school football
- 6:26game. When I was like maybe 12 or 13. And y 'all,
- 6:29trust me, let me set this scene because we know
- 6:32I love to set a scene. It's football in North
- 6:35Carolina. Beginning of the season. You know it's
- 6:37hot as heck out there. We're sweating. Everybody
- 6:41sweating everyone's homeschooled. It's not that
- 6:43serious. It's not like it's college football
- 6:46and it's not being held at a church It's being
- 6:48held in some random field and all I'm doing is
- 6:51walking around talking with my friends. That's
- 6:53it I'm not flirting with the boys. I wasn't playing
- 6:56water girl at this point because I Think I didn't
- 6:59have to that day. Actually, I don't know if any
- 7:01of my cousins were playing football So I don't
- 7:03have to be anybody's water girl. I was minding
- 7:05my business. Okay? And someone's dad goes up
- 7:09and tells my mom's best friend that I look like
- 7:11a whore. Yep, that's right friends, because even
- 7:13though my shirt was high necked and cap sleeved,
- 7:17it still had sequins all over it and that made
- 7:20me look like a whore. Oh, and then another time
- 7:23I was wearing a t -shirt and someone told me
- 7:26that the words on my t -shirt, let me repeat
- 7:28that for a third time, a t -shirt brought too
- 7:32much attention to my chest and would give boys
- 7:34a reason to look at it. I was 13 when they told
- 7:37me that. And again, that was another grown man.
- 7:39Now, we all hear jokes about our shoulders not
- 7:43showing because it could tempt boys, men in church,
- 7:46and society. Make sure your jeans weren't too
- 7:48tight during the skinny jean era. Don't let anybody
- 7:50see your stomach. Make sure your dress, skirt,
- 7:53or shorts are at an appropriate length. And then
- 7:56some of our moms, you know who you are, would
- 7:59make us go through the test. That's right, the
- 8:01test. I know you girls know what I'm talking
- 8:03about. the ones where you would bend over and
- 8:05make sure your butt isn't hanging out as if you're
- 8:07randomly bending over in church anyways or to
- 8:10make sure your chest doesn't fall out they'd
- 8:12have you raise your hands above your head and
- 8:14make sure it wasn't too short or that you didn't
- 8:16have any stomach show right y 'all remember that
- 8:18being in the coles or the target or the macy's
- 8:21and you're in the middle of the store outside
- 8:22the dressing room trying to make sure that no
- 8:25matter which way you twist turn spin jump I don't
- 8:28know, do the splits, that you were fully appropriately
- 8:30dressed for whatever may happen. They put a lot
- 8:34of pressure on our small bodies and minds from
- 8:36such a young age. Every man and boy's thought
- 8:39about us that could occur based off of what we
- 8:42wear was our sole responsibility. And then some
- 8:45of us were lucky and we never got taught that,
- 8:48so we never had to go through it. Today, we have
- 8:51changed and shifted our view on modesty and being
- 8:53accountable for men's thoughts because big shocker,
- 8:56we aren't. Of course, there are some men out
- 8:58there that would like us to carry the weight
- 8:59of their accountability for them because it's
- 9:02easier for them, but most men in the Christian
- 9:04world have woken up and realized that we shouldn't
- 9:06be held accountable for their thoughts that they
- 9:08think in their heads. Personally, I've seen people
- 9:11lately trying to figure out what dressing modest
- 9:13looks like and I feel like we've had a couple
- 9:16setbacks on this. I mean, Target was selling
- 9:19some elite little house on the prairie meets
- 9:21Amish type -ish stuff for a minute there and
- 9:24I was getting worried, but it also could just
- 9:27be my side of the TikTok and it's a small select
- 9:30few individuals promoting this. I hope that's
- 9:32the case, but also I need off that side of TikTok
- 9:35ASAP. I think a big part of modern modesty is
- 9:39heart placement. Are we dressing for ourselves
- 9:41or for attention? I'm sure we all have seen those
- 9:43memes, skits, and TikToks of us girls letting
- 9:46men know that we don't really dress for them
- 9:47because they would be shocked if they saw what
- 9:50we'd wear when we know it's just the girls that
- 9:52are gonna be there. Or the ones that talk about
- 9:55how they dress for the little girls passing by
- 9:57them on the streets because someone has to inspire
- 9:59them. I'm sure there are some women that dress
- 10:02for men's attention, but let's be so for real,
- 10:04that has to be such a small percentage. Or maybe
- 10:07it's just me who dresses for the girls, the vibes,
- 10:09and myself. As Christians, we could draw some
- 10:12hard lines on what's modest and what's not, and
- 10:15as followers of Jesus. Like maybe start with
- 10:18the obvious, don't walk around naked in public.
- 10:21That's not a hard one. Next, let's not wear shirts.
- 10:25That's neckline would show the whole titty. I
- 10:27don't really feel like that one would bring honor
- 10:29to Jesus. And maybe, just maybe, we skip out
- 10:33on the bubbled skirt trend. I know, crazy right?
- 10:36But I think it's pretty obvious why. Let me be
- 10:39clear though, no, absolutely no part of me is
- 10:42saying don't walk around public naked just because
- 10:44it will get you arrested, even though it absolutely
- 10:47will. And I'm not saying to not do it because
- 10:50men will objectify you and that's your fault
- 10:52for walking around with no clothes on, because
- 10:54it's not. They're grownups and can cover their
- 10:57own eyes if need be. But, as women who love Jesus
- 11:00and want to bring honor to him with her life,
- 11:03why would you want to purposely wear something
- 11:05that wouldn't? The church has made modesty a
- 11:08woman's issue when it's really a heart issue
- 11:10for men and women. From no shoulder showing,
- 11:13short shorts, and midriffs, all of that became
- 11:15a conversation the church felt it had to have
- 11:18when it should have been a conversation of what
- 11:19the bible means when it talks about being modest
- 11:22because trust me if your shoulder is causing
- 11:24a man to get turned on or stumbled his walk with
- 11:27the lord so you can't have them out then no one
- 11:30tell the church about foot fetishes please because
- 11:32we will never be allowed to wear sandals or open
- 11:34-toed heels in church again ever okay maybe i
- 11:39took that one a little far when the bible talks
- 11:41about modesty or clothing, it says to clothe
- 11:44ourselves in humility, in 1 Peter. To not adorn
- 11:47ourselves with fine clothing, pearls, braids,
- 11:50et cetera, for attention in 1 Timothy, but to
- 11:53clothe ourselves with strength and dignity in
- 11:55Proverbs. And then of course, the arm of God
- 11:57in Ephesians. And those are just a few verses.
- 11:59Now of course, someone can make the argument
- 12:02that when the Bible is written, that women didn't
- 12:04dress how we do today. But one, neither did men.
- 12:08And two, God is infinite. No beginning, no end.
- 12:12All knowing, you really think he didn't know
- 12:14what our clothes would look like or be in 2025?
- 12:18Baby, he created clothes in the first place with
- 12:20Adam and Eve. Also, side note, the mention of
- 12:23braids and the hair and why not too was because
- 12:27wealthy women would braid their hair to set themselves
- 12:29apart from the rest of society. And the pearls
- 12:32at that time were often used as a metaphor and
- 12:35a representation of wisdom or holiness, like
- 12:38for example in Matthew 6 -7, but the point was
- 12:42being made that it should come from what's on
- 12:44the inside and not the outside and shouldn't
- 12:46be wasted. And wear beauty and wisdom over outward.
- 12:50The Bible does have some things to say about
- 12:51how we think. We already saw that God wants us
- 12:54to be humble with how we dress, so you could
- 12:56wear a sack of potatoes or shorts and a crop
- 12:58top. If you aren't doing it from a prideful or
- 13:01intentional stumbling block placed in your heart,
- 13:03then he doesn't care. What he does care about
- 13:06is that we aren't haughty. We aren't to look
- 13:08at a woman or a person with lustful intent because
- 13:11then we have committed adultery in our hearts.
- 13:14If your eyes cause you to sin, then pull it out,
- 13:17and to not let sexual immorality, all impurity,
- 13:20or covetousness be among us. That's just to name
- 13:24a few. Now, you might have already heard this
- 13:26research, but I'm going to share it with you
- 13:27anyways just in case. They did a study on male
- 13:30Princeton College students, that while their
- 13:32brains were being scanned, they showed them photos
- 13:34of scantily dressed women, on the part of the
- 13:37brain that is associated with tools lit up, that
- 13:40being hammers, screws, and nails. Also, when
- 13:43seeing sexualized photos of women, they are more
- 13:46likely to associate with first person action
- 13:48verbs like, I grab, I push, and I handle. You
- 13:51can find this whole article on it on National
- 13:54Geographic's website. I find that interesting
- 13:57though, because I mean how the human brain naturally
- 14:01works is fascinating to me. I don't think it's
- 14:03our female job to change the way men see our
- 14:05bodies, but I also can say I'm not smart enough
- 14:09or know enough about the human brain to say they
- 14:11can keep that part of their brain from lighting
- 14:13up and associating our bodies as tools when they
- 14:16see us in something as casual as a bikini. The
- 14:19truth is it doesn't matter what you wear. A man
- 14:21who will objectify your body will do it if your
- 14:23clothes head to toe or wearing a hot girl Halloween
- 14:26costume. I don't believe that every man that
- 14:29looks at you or I are objectifying our body.
- 14:32I know some really good, solid guys that openly
- 14:35judge other guys and men to their face when hearing
- 14:38them objectify us. They don't jump in on the
- 14:40conversation and add to it, but call it out and
- 14:43tell the guys how weird it is for them to overanalyze
- 14:46our bodies for the way we dress when we're girls
- 14:49and we just wanna have fun. Now, do I think that
- 14:52those guys should stand up for us or call other
- 14:55men out? probably have sisters? Absolutely. And
- 14:58do they probably have older sisters? Also, absolutely.
- 15:01But it's appreciated nonetheless, and it's good
- 15:03to know that they exist. I'm not sure when the
- 15:06church decided to make the male problem into
- 15:09a female problem when it's really just a human
- 15:11problem. We already know modesty is supposed
- 15:13to come from a heart stance and not really a
- 15:15physical clothing stance, but the church took
- 15:18it one step further, like we always do, and we
- 15:20made rules. rules on what to wear, what we can
- 15:23and cannot show, what is too much and what is
- 15:26not enough, rules, rules, and more rules. I remember
- 15:29going to my church with my grandparents, and
- 15:31my grandma would lean over and say, honey, you
- 15:34lit cold, and place her shawl over my legs. Now
- 15:37it was the middle of summer. I didn't have goosebumps,
- 15:39and I dressed him When sitting was touching my
- 15:42knee, but to her it still wasn't enough. And
- 15:45if I wore a sleeveless dress, you know, like
- 15:48with tank top straps of some kind, or spaghetti
- 15:51straps, she was throwing that thing over my shoulder
- 15:53so quick my head could've spin. Ugh, shoulders.
- 15:56Why does it always come back to shoulders? Do
- 15:58we naturally learn these rules as we grow up
- 16:01in church, or did I miss that part in church
- 16:03when they went over the dress code? Dressing
- 16:05modest shouldn't only be applied for church.
- 16:07Your standards should be your standards. But
- 16:10I went ahead and did a little bit of internet
- 16:12research and found a list of rules of what we
- 16:16cannot wear in church because I thought it would
- 16:17be interesting. Some surprised me and some I
- 16:21already knew, but I didn't care to agree with
- 16:22because I am who I am. So one, no sleeveless
- 16:26tops or dresses. Well, as y 'all know, I broke
- 16:29that rule pretty much my whole life. Two, no
- 16:32deep necklines. If you aren't clear on that,
- 16:35it's really so that no boobies show. Three, no
- 16:38mini skirts. 4. No logos on shirts. Designers,
- 16:42sports, and brands. I did not know this one,
- 16:45but I don't think I ever broke it, even though
- 16:49I'm kinda tempted to now. 5. Some churches don't
- 16:52approve of women wearing pants. Because how dare
- 16:55they have legs, I guess. 6. No heels. Ugh. Why
- 16:59don't they just go ahead and send me to church
- 17:01jail? 7. No flip flops. Now this one? I can get
- 17:06behind. Nothing. And I mean nothing gives me
- 17:09the ick faster than seeing a man wear flip -flops
- 17:12outside of being at the beach or the pool. It
- 17:15just should not happen. It shouldn't be allowed.
- 17:17It should be against the law. Not just church
- 17:19modesty rules. The law. And eight. Some denominations
- 17:24are against women wearing makeup and fake nails.
- 17:26So I can never go there. What I've learned is
- 17:29if you wear a tank top, straight to jail. Makeup,
- 17:32straight to do - Straight to jail. Caught wearing
- 17:36heels, straight to jail. Nowadays, I'd say most
- 17:40churches are a lot more relaxed. I personally
- 17:43have not been to any churches that strictly enforcing
- 17:46some of these standards since I was in my early
- 17:4920s. But man, something about the church loves
- 17:52to make up rules and enforce them like it's everyone
- 17:54else's problem too and that it came straight
- 17:56out of the Bible. I don't know why us girls always
- 17:59had to get the talk to, separately from the boys
- 18:02growing up in church, about our clothes though.
- 18:05From what I've learned, from the boys, they didn't
- 18:07get told, okay now boys, you see the girls in
- 18:10the tank top, crop top, or shorts? Remember,
- 18:12they're human and don't objectify their bodies.
- 18:15Take those thoughts captive and live for Jesus.
- 18:17I mean, maybe they did, and they just lied to
- 18:21me about it. But again, I don't know when or
- 18:23where we decided it mattered more how women dress
- 18:26than it mattered to teach men to control their
- 18:28thoughts and hold them accountable. I love clothes.
- 18:32I love lacy clothes, sheer clothes, pants, skirts,
- 18:36dresses, tube tops, halter tops, heels, sneakers,
- 18:39really almost any type of shoe I love. Fashion
- 18:42is my favorite game to play every day. It was
- 18:45so hard and exhausting growing up in church and
- 18:48wondering if my dress was past my knees or did
- 18:50I just get taller? Is my shirt too tight? Is
- 18:52it drawing too much attention to my chest because
- 18:55I was a hella busty girly. I spent so much time
- 18:59trying to hide the fact that I had boobs. I mean,
- 19:02I did not want to make my brothers in Christ
- 19:04stumble because of how I dressed. Thank the Father.
- 19:08I'm free from that. I don't give a second thought
- 19:11to how I dress anymore and how it might cause
- 19:14a man around me to stumble. I'm not running around
- 19:17and see through braless clothes, but trust, I'm
- 19:20not overthinking it either like I used to. I'm
- 19:22not responsible for them or their thoughts, so
- 19:24they can go pluck their eye out if they need
- 19:26to like Jesus said. He made it clear that men
- 19:28can have self -control and should. Now that we
- 19:31know men's thoughts are not in our control or
- 19:34our personal problem, I want to know. Do you
- 19:37overthink what you wear to church or in your
- 19:39everyday life? Have you felt convicted over clothes?
- 19:42Or do you have peace about what you wear on a
- 19:44daily basis? Look bestie, I wish it was simple
- 19:47as a yes to this and no to that type of game,
- 19:50but it's not. You have to decide to some degree
- 19:53what modest means to you, and no one can really
- 19:55tell you. Otherwise, you'd end up dressing like
- 19:57you're Amish in the middle of a good old U .S.
- 20:00of a summer heatwave, and none of us need that.
- 20:03Every mom, auntie, grandma, and pastor's wife
- 20:06has an opinion on what you wear and if it's modest
- 20:09for your day -to -day life. But their opinions
- 20:11don't matter. What do you feel about what you
- 20:13wear? It's also a little hard to not compare
- 20:16or want to compete with the clothes or fashion
- 20:19of the world. I feel it on a daily basis. Being
- 20:21a hairstylist, I want to do it every day. But
- 20:24I also choose to dress for my clientele to some
- 20:27degree. What I wear when someone's grandma is
- 20:29coming in versus what I wear when my college
- 20:32girls come in are two different outfits. One
- 20:34is a mid silk skirt with a nice top. The other
- 20:37is ripped jeans and an oversized t -shirt or
- 20:39corset top. But when I struggle the most with
- 20:42world fashion is when I go to my older brother's
- 20:46birthday parties. I always feel so insecure there
- 20:49because I look at what the other girls are wearing
- 20:50and I think they look so cool. Like for example,
- 20:53he had a PJ themed birthday party. I showed up
- 20:56and what I actually wear to bed, believe it or
- 20:59not, which was PJ shorts and a black cropped
- 21:01t -shirt. The other girls, well some of them,
- 21:03most of them, showed up in lingerie. And trust
- 21:06me, I didn't feel insecure at all about that,
- 21:08but dang, I thought they looked cool, hot, and
- 21:11fun in those outfits. I'd love to be able to
- 21:13wear that out and enjoy it, but one, ew, gross,
- 21:16that's my older brother's birthday party. And
- 21:18two, I knew I wouldn't be honoring myself or
- 21:21my Jesus by wearing that. Like yeah, I'm hot
- 21:24and look at my tits with pasties on with my see
- 21:26-through outfit, but let me also tell you why
- 21:29I have to leave early to go to bed because I
- 21:31have church in the morning and I serve and kids
- 21:32ministry later. That would not fly over very
- 21:37well for me. But honestly, that's not even the
- 21:39point. I didn't show up in lingerie because I
- 21:41personally would have felt insecure walking around
- 21:43in it with strangers around. Sure, if it was
- 21:46a girls only party and it was a theme, I'd be
- 21:48so down. But I do like to keep some things to
- 21:52myself and if I had, my heart and mind would
- 21:54have been focused the whole time on if I was
- 21:56hot compared to everyone else, if any guys were
- 21:59looking at me, or was I getting the validation
- 22:02I needed. And then personally, my anxiety would
- 22:05have been craaazy about it the next day. I would
- 22:08have second guessed my intentions the whole next
- 22:10day and would have been trying to validate it
- 22:12to myself. So, I dressed in my PJ shorts and
- 22:15t -shirt, and I slept in them that night, and
- 22:17I was very comfy. I knew. When I talked about
- 22:21Jesus that night, no one was looking at me confused
- 22:23by what I was wearing and wondering if I was
- 22:25all talk. I know I was honoring my body and my
- 22:28heart by what I was wearing. What you wear isn't
- 22:31always about being modest for men, to keep them
- 22:33from quote unquote stumbling. It's about keeping
- 22:35your heart and mind humble and to keep you from
- 22:38stumbling into pride because we so easily could.
- 22:41But if what you wear doesn't affect you in that
- 22:43way, then that's so amazing and I love that for
- 22:46you. If you feel confident and comfortable, and
- 22:48not for one second step into pride, comparison,
- 22:51or seeking validation, then girly, that's fantastic
- 22:54and you do you. Cause I have two best friends
- 22:56that are full on fashion queens. One is so bold
- 23:00with what she wears and every single time, it's
- 23:03a slay. But honestly, she could pull off anything,
- 23:05like literally, she'd make a paper bag look good
- 23:08with how she'd accessorize it. The other studied
- 23:11fashion in NYC and can make any outfit look cool.
- 23:14She just has that cool, girl, chill energy. You
- 23:17know what I mean? These two are also best friends
- 23:19and they dress so differently from each other.
- 23:22One is in boyfriend jeans and a giant t -shirt
- 23:24and heels The other can be in a sheer skirt and
- 23:27a bodysuit and they don't let comparison or competition
- 23:30step in one bit. They enjoy fashion and each
- 23:33other. It's not about showing off or looking
- 23:35hot. It's about the clothes and the love behind
- 23:37them. And sure, I come in and look at my besties
- 23:41and every time I think, wow, they are so cool
- 23:43and I'm so lucky to be friends with them and
- 23:46get inspired by their clothes. And any time they
- 23:48compliment a piece of my outfit, I'm on a high
- 23:51and I could definitely let my lack of cool fashion
- 23:55and spill make me feel insecure, but what you
- 23:58wear isn't about that, and it should never be.
- 24:00You have to decide for yourself what dressing
- 24:03modest looks like for you, what it means, and
- 24:05how it can or if it will affect your core values
- 24:08or convictions. Also, does the lack of others
- 24:11being modest offend or affect you? If so, why?
- 24:14Because low -key girl, it shouldn't. If you see
- 24:17another girl around not dressed to the bar that
- 24:19you set as modest and get upset about it, well
- 24:22that's weird. Not all of us carry the same standards
- 24:25or convictions, especially when it comes to clothes.
- 24:27There is the one line we already said and agreed
- 24:29on, which was, don't walk around naked in public,
- 24:32or in a wet white t -shirt. But what about what
- 24:35we wear to the gym? The pool and the beach? When
- 24:38you go to grab coffee with friends? Or maybe
- 24:40the bars? What you wear to the event that you're
- 24:43wearing it to will change where the line in the
- 24:46sand is. And your line isn't other people's lines.
- 24:49I was on the phone with my friend Hannah the
- 24:51other day. We were talking about honestly this
- 24:53subject because she is a big gym girly. We're
- 24:55talking about modesty, what that looks like in
- 24:57our lives, how that shows up, and what we buy.
- 25:00She used the example of a maxi dress she just
- 25:03bought. Now again, Hannah is super fit. She has
- 25:06a big booty that she has worked hard for. She
- 25:09said, if you saw the dress on a hanger, you'd
- 25:11say sure, the dress is modest. If you put it
- 25:13on a girl that didn't have a lot of asset, for
- 25:16lack of a better word, then you'd say it's modest,
- 25:18but if you put it on a curvy girl like me or
- 25:21saw it on Hannah, you would change your mind
- 25:23pretty quickly. Modesty isn't a one size fits
- 25:26all and it can't be. I asked my social media
- 25:29their take on modesty, just on the girls. 100
- 25:32% of the girls said it's a heart and mind position.
- 25:35One of them wrote in and said she chooses to
- 25:37be modest to honor her future husband, which
- 25:40is also something one of my friends has told
- 25:42me. Another one said she was motivated by her
- 25:44submission and love for God. And for me, Personally,
- 25:48it's to keep my heart in check. We are all motivated
- 25:50by different reasons. Therefore, modesty is going
- 25:53to look a little different for each of us. The
- 25:55Bible makes it clear that to be modest is to
- 25:57be humble in spirit, to not dress for attention
- 25:59on ourselves in a way that would intentionally
- 26:02or unintentionally take it away from Jesus. Not
- 26:05just in church, but in our day -to -day life
- 26:07because our body is a temple. What we are to
- 26:10wear is the seven pieces of armor of God. Being
- 26:13the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness,
- 26:16the shoes of peace, the shield of faith, the
- 26:18helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit.
- 26:21And prayer maybe as our favorite accessory. Speaking
- 26:23of prayer, please join me as I close us out in
- 26:26it. Father, thank you so much for our heart for
- 26:28you. Thank you for the intention and the desire
- 26:31to want to dress how you have us to. That our
- 26:35mindset and our heart is to bring honor and glory
- 26:37to you with our bodies and what we're wearing.
- 26:39that we aren't drawing attention to ourselves,
- 26:42but we are bringing and drawing attention to
- 26:45you with what we wear and how we act in public.
- 26:48I ask that we feel encouraged by it today, that
- 26:51whoever is listening to this feels inspired by
- 26:54it today, that she was brought some clarity through
- 26:57this today on what you're asking her to do. If
- 27:00someone is listening to this and they've had
- 27:02a new conviction of how to dress, or they've
- 27:05had church hurt and are resistant to dressing
- 27:08modest that maybe they have a new outlook on
- 27:11what dressing modest looks like for them and
- 27:13that it isn't a one -size -fits -all and you
- 27:15never asked us to be a one -size -fits -all.
- 27:17Thank you so much for this opportunity to speak
- 27:21over this subject and I ask that we feel encouraged
- 27:24and brought closer to you. In Jesus name, Amen.
- 27:36Alright, that's all. Thank you so much for listening
- 27:39to the Living Freed Podcast. You can connect
- 27:42with me on Instagram at hannelizd or email me
- 27:45at livingfreedpod at gmail .com. If you're loving
- 27:48the podcast, I'd be so honored if you'd go ahead
- 27:51and hit that subscribe button and leave me a
- 27:53review. And if you have feedback or a subject
- 27:55you'd like me to cover, please email or DM me
- 27:58on Instagram. Again, thank you so much for listening.
- 28:02I hope you feel encouraged and lighter today.
- 28:04Bye y 'all! you