Latest / Homeschool Insights - Biblical Home Education Inspiration in Under 10 Minutes! / Is Your Child Quietly Struggling With Doubt? Here’s How to Know - Chuck Black
Transcript
- speaker-0: Evening time i i is something that that that allows them to be a little more vulnerable with you. speaker-1: So true. Like right when you're trying to go to sleep with teenagers, right? speaker-0: Right. When you're exhausted and all you wanna do is, you know, curl up with a book or watch an episode on Netflix. ⁓ but that is that seems to be the time when they will open up. And I would I would mom and dad take advantage of that. speaker-1: You've used the idea of this spiritual disorientation, like a pilot losing their their bearings. What does that look like in a child or a teenager's faith? And how how can parents recognize it? Because, like you said, some kids are gonna just come at you with all the questions, you know, and say, you know, here's my doubts. And and some kids aren't. So how can we recognize this early using that idea of this spiritual disorientation? speaker-0: Yes. ⁓ I you know, I kinda use the ⁓ the ali analogy of of being spatially disoriented in a in a cockpit or in a in a a jet. ⁓ and you lose your bearings, you don't know what which way is up or down and and it can cause, you know, tragedy. ⁓ spiritual disorientation is the same thing. It can happen, you know, spiritually to a young person, just like I shared with me. And and that can happen, that can hit any child. I mean it I I've I've seen ⁓ so many kids that have lost their faith because Of an unans unanswered question. Like the age-old question, if if God is so good, then why is there so much pain and hurt in the world? And you know, and there those those questions are are can be really challenging to answer, but you cannot shy away from them. Like you say, you know, if you freak out and you respond to them with, ⁓ man, I just don't even know what to say to that, it it it's gonna kind of solidify the doubt. But there is an answer. There are good, solid answers, biblical answers. ⁓ and so just don't be afraid to go there. That is certainly a And attack by the enemy. Yeah. ⁓ he he is he is the first thing he does is he he asks question to start get you to questioning the truth, right? Just way back to Adam and Eve. ⁓ did that with Eve in the garden. And did God really say, you know, and so ⁓ interestingly, he just twisted that because you know, really God told Adam and he was to convey that to her. Yeah. ⁓ there's so much to talk about on that one. But ⁓ yeah, for your children, again, ⁓ just don't be afraid of that. ⁓ and and be willing. Some people Well, I'm just not really good at this, or if it's apologetics or if it's ⁓ you know, a phil philosophical question, then then I I would just encourage parents to get good at it. ⁓ you know, you you you gotta you gotta become that student of that area where they're struggling and and go there and and and deal with it ⁓ yourself and help them through it. Kind of the direction I go is just really j just have the courage to step into it. Yeah don't be afraid of it. speaker-1: Yeah, I like that. And we're and and and I kind of asked too, like, how how do we recognize it? But I love, I love that you said it really hit that doubt was really one of the first things the enemy used in the garden, right? Like, did God really say that? Just planting that little seed of doubt, which, like you said, if if not dealt with and uprooted and given given an answer to, and if you don't have it, take them to the word. There is the answer. Yes. ⁓ okay, so what about the kid? Like I find this interesting with you. You you kind of hid that question for 14 years. You asked, they didn't give you a right answer. And then it just kind of internalized into you for 14 years. What about how do I recognize this in the kid? I mean, I'm just thinking that quiet, stoic kid that I just think everything's fine because they're not they're not bucking me. I mean, I have a kid that's gonna come back at me with questions on every single thing and drill me. But then there are those kids that that aren't. And so those are almost the ones that you have to be a little more intentional with because the the questions are there. Like you had said, we all struggle with doubt. And so how how do we recognize that? speaker-0: Yeah, really great question. And thanks for ⁓ refreshing that for me. ⁓ I I I have I have two responses to that. The first is that ⁓ one thing that really surprised me, our kids took German at the at the secular high school. It was happened to be taught by a fellow homeschooling dad who ⁓ who who loved the Lord. And ⁓ if they took four years of of German, they got sixteen dual credit courses for for college, which is amazing. So ⁓ They s you when they're freshmen, a hundred and thirty kids stand up. By the time they're seniors, there's five or six left 'cause that's y it's it's a tough program and they're they're the super intelligent ones. So Emily was at in the taking this German, she's a senior, and this one young guy started asking her questions about her faith. And he had just enough you know, he was he was an incredibly intelligent guy, but just enough ⁓ exposure to to church that he could ask some really hard questions. And so Emily started bringing those questions to me at our devotions in the evening. And ⁓ and so I said, Well, well let's let's Let me help you through this, Emily, and we'll work through that. So ⁓ fast forward a few months and she'd gotten through that. And then ⁓ I realized, you know, I hadn't checked in with her l recently. So I said, Emily, ⁓ hey, how are things going with that guy at your your German class? Is is everything he yeah. She he kind of quit asking questions. And I thought, I wonder if she experienced any doubt because of this. I said, hey, did those questions that he asked cause you to stumble in your faith at all, Emily? Do you have any doubts that we need to r you know deal with? And so I it's just straight answer, you know, straight up qu ask her. That's awesome. And ⁓ and she said, No, Dad, actually, if anything, it actually strengthened my faith. And then I thought, well, hmm, let me ask you one more question, Emily. Is there anything that mom and I have done here at home so that you experience that and and were strengthened rather than, you know, suffered loss in your faith? And and her answer just stunned me. And this is ⁓ this is for moms and dads, especially dads out there. She said, Absolutely, dad, we're doing it right now. It's family devotions. And so I I had no idea that our our family devotions was going to be the key to her having a solid faith. And Britney's too, you know, ⁓ when she experienced that at at college. And every one of our six kids will tell you that they have hanged they hang their spiritual hat on our family devotions. And I and and I didn't grow up with family devotions. My mom was amazing. ⁓ my dad just didn't really lead devotions like that. And so when we started having children, I thought, you know, the the Lord just impressed me to start doing that. And and I had no idea that how critical that would be in establishing that solid faith foundation. So number one ⁓ is you you can use your devotions not just to teach and preach and and you know dissertate, but to discover, ⁓ to discover the hearts of your kids through questions and things like that. So I I would say that would be key. And and if you implement family devotions and dad, if you're listening, please just step into that and lead that well and just just do whatever it takes. And it might be uncomfortable at first, but you'll get good at it. The Lord is is for you and he's he wants you to. And it will establish a firm foundation for your kids. And then the second thing for those kids that are are tougher ⁓ to read, you know, th that might be more quiet, that may not maybe not speak up, even in devotions. ⁓ tuck your kids in bed. And obviously as it when they get older, obviously it's different. But I made it a habit to go and and visit them and and and sit with them for a minute or two on their bed. And and ⁓ there are some kids that just open up right away, but evening time It i there's something that that that allows them to be a little more vulnerable with you. speaker-1: True. Like right when you're trying to go to sleep with teenagers, right? speaker-0: Great. When you're exhausted and all you want to do is, you know, curl up with a book or watch an episode on Netflix. ⁓ but that is that seems to be the time when they will open up. And I would I would mom and dad take advantage of that, even if it's ten to fifteen minutes and and ⁓ and just sit down. Hey, how's how'd your day go? You know, just have a little casual conversation and let the Holy Spirit lead you and guide you into that area where it's like, Hey, I you know, I I I've sense you're struggling a little s a little bit. What what's on your heart, you know? And sometimes it takes three or four times but they will they will open up because you when you establish that relationship as a confidant for them, they ultimately they need somebody to talk to and and those evening times are are kind of a key point or keep a key time that that can happen. So speaker-1: That is so good. And I like how you're talking about ⁓ like there there's a couple of times that strike me the the evening, the d the devotions where I think so often we think it's a check off the box, you know. Day one, we have to get day one done. Kind of like what homeschool moms do with we have to get every ⁓ you know, 180 lessons done of homeschool. And I don't care, don't ask questions and don't rabbit trail because we gotta stay on on track. It kind of can be the same with devotions. And I noticed my husband and I are wired so different, and I am naturally The teacher, like you said, devotion time for me is like the teach and the preach and the and I've learned that that's almost destructive in that time of the day where I've always noticed with my husband, he'll get through like literally two sentences of the devotion. And then all of a sudden, they all just start talking and pouring out their heart and asking questions. And I used to feel it like it was such a failure, like, ⁓ my gosh, you guys couldn't get a one page devotion done. Like I do this all day teaching the kids. And then I started to watch and I'm like, the kids open up with him. And I'll be really, really vulnerable. I noticed that when I walked in the room, it was kind of like the dynamic changed because they thought it was teaching hour because I'm naturally the teaching mom, right? And then I leave and I'm like, then they just opened and I realized, you know what? I had to view devotion time as not another lesson to the kids, but an opportunity to hear their hearts, to let them rabbit trail, to let them ask the really hard questions. That never freaked my husband out. He would hear it and he'd be like, that's a really awesome question. I remember struggling with that too. And they just felt comfortable. And I had to change my mind on devotion time, isn't another lesson for mom to teach. It's a time for the family to come together. And another time I noticed that this happens just so organically is when we're sitting around the table at dinner. I mean, summer, we run and gun in the summer. The kids are all working jobs. It's, you know, it's light until 10 o'clock at night. So Everybody's out. And I notice that we miss that where when things slow down in the fall, when we sit around the dinner table, it's like two hours later we're talking about all the things that I have tried all day long to draw out of my children. And it just naturally comes out. And so I think moms, we tend to want to kind of like make it happen and and draw these things out of the kids and have the right words and have the right lessons and check the box. But at the end of the day, it's really just being together and being open and And hearing our kids and and conversing. And like you said, way back, way back in last week when we talked about one of the enemy's biggest tactics, you had said in this hit me, is relationships. He goes for the relationships. That's like going for the throat. And and that's what we have to guard. And the relationships with our kids, I believe, are is gonna really help in this doubt situation. It's gonna guard them from a lot of that and help them to open up. speaker-2: This episode of Homeschool Insights is brought to you by BJU Press Homeschool, CTC Math, and the Explorer Bible for Kids. Visit the show notes to learn more about these excellent resources. And for more encouragement, listen to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast at Schoolhouseroct.com.