Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 80 - Are Homeschool Moms More Patient?

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Ep. 80 - Are Homeschool Moms More Patient? · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Christy-Faith: Have you ever said or heard someone else say, I could never homeschool my kids. I'm just not patient enough. First of all, same. Second of all, that is hands down one of the most backhanded compliments homeschool moms get. No one starts homeschooling because they have angelic levels of patience.
• 0:19
  If anything, homeschooling is the fast track to realizing that you don't. You're not kidding. Today, we're gonna talk about what people are really saying when they tell us they're not patient enough, why it misses the point entirely, and how homeschooling isn't about being perfect, it's about showing up. So if you've ever cried into your coffee and still showed up for that read aloud time, you're not alone. Today's show is about the real reason why we homeschool and why patience has nothing to do with it.
• 1:00
  Before we get into today's show, welcome. I'm Christy- Faith, author of the book Homeschool Rising, speaker and founder of Thrive Homeschool Community. So what is Thrive? Thrive Homeschool Community gives you a clear expert led path to build the homeschool that your children deserve without all that Internet noise, wasted time, and constant second guessing. We ensure your program meets your child's unique needs, fast track your success, and give you the confidence to know without a shadow of a doubt that the education you're providing is second to none.
• 1:35
  I created Thrive because late night Google searching and doom scrolling isn't an educational plan. It's a community that I wish I had back when I started and a place that saves you so much time, so much money, so many headaches, so many tears, you wouldn't even believe it. So if you're ready to feel confident in your homeschooling journey and give your kids the education that they deserve, click the link in the show notes to check out Thrive Homeschool Community. It's not open all of the time, but if it is closed, please do get on the wait list. Okay.
• 2:07
  Back to today's topic. Let's clear something up right now. Saying I could never homeschool because I'm not patient enough is like saying I could never run a marathon because I've never run one before. Well, yeah, that's kinda how growth works. But somehow when it comes to homeschooling, people act like you either have the magical patient's gene or you don't.
• 2:29
  Like homeschool moms were just born with extra whispery voices and have never yelled from the laundry room while one child argues about math and the other one is markering up the walls. That we are somehow more patient is a myth, and it's exhausting to always be hearing it, yet it still persists. Most of us didn't start homeschooling because we were naturally patient. We started homeschooling because we had a vision for our family, and we were willing to work on ourselves to get there. Big difference.
• 2:57
  Let's pull the curtain back a bit here. When someone says to me, oh, you must be so patient, Christy. I could never homeschool. I know they're thinking that they're being nice. I get it.
• 3:07
  They're probably just trying to be polite. But what sounds like a compliment, you're so patient is actually a subtle way of saying this isn't possible for me because I wasn't born with the same tools you were. And in a way, it minimizes the work that we've put in on ourselves and with our parenting. That mindset is called a fixed mindset. It's very well researched, and that is the belief that traits like patience, discipline, perseverance are just built in features genetically, like blue eyes and curly hair.
• 3:37
  But motherhood doesn't work like that. Homeschooling definitely doesn't work like that. We're all showing up with the same shaky hands and late library books, the same exhaustion, the same Amazon cart full of curriculum we may or may not open. The difference is not personality. The difference is practice.
• 3:56
  It's intention for the mom who's doubting herself right now. Patience is not a prerequisite to homeschooling. It's a byproduct. You grow it in the fire. You grow it on the days where someone cries over handwriting, the toddler spills the smoothie, and the only thing getting socialized is your last nerve.
• 4:15
  We're not patient so we can homeschool. We homeschool, and it gives us a thousand uncomfortable little moments to become more patient if we let it. And let's not miss the other piece to this. When people say I'm not patient enough, what they really mean is, I'm scared I'd mess this up. I don't know if I could handle the pressure.
• 4:34
  I'm already overwhelmed, and I can't imagine adding one more thing. All of those are valid fears that we will get more into right after this word from our sponsors. As a homeschool mom who values a family together approach and leans towards the classical and Charlotte Mason styles, I often struggle to bring my educational vision to life with my kids' diverse ages and learning needs. With all our interests and super packed schedule, bridging that gap between the dreamy homeschool I want and reality, I gotta be honest. It's a challenge.
• 5:01
  Now, yes, I know perfection isn't the goal. But if you're listening and you could use a little easing of your mental load in your day to day, I found a resource that has become the quiet hero of our routine, and it could be a really great option for you too. BJU Press homeschool curriculum. Now many think that BJU Press homeschool is solely an all in one option, and though it does excel in that role, did you know you can also opt for specific courses and tailor them to fit your family's needs just as I have? BGU Press Homeschool provides the perfect balance of structure and flexibility and easily complements my family's mixed age family together on the couch learning style.
• 5:38
  They are second to none in integrating a biblical worldview, stimulating critical thinking, and offering tons of hands on activities in the lessons. To find out how BJU Press Homeschool can come alongside you in your homeschooling goals too. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes. I've got some news. There's a new reading curriculum that ditches workbooks and drills for fun and games.
• 6:01
  If you're thinking fun and games sounds a little too good to be true, it's not. Ninety eight percent of children improved their reading test scores in just six weeks with the reading skill set by Lovevery. It's a phonics based program that follows a science of reading, but makes learning to read fun, motivating, and confidence boosting because it happens by playing games and then practicing with just right skill level books. Kids love it and parent educators love it, and it works. Visit loveevery.com/christyfaith today and use code Christy 10 to get 10% off your purchase of the reading skill set by Love Every.
• 6:39
  That's lovevery.com/christyfaith. Okay. Welcome back. Instead of calling those fears what they are, we often slap the word patience on it and then just move on. You don't need to be patient to homeschool.
• 6:54
  You need to be willing, willing to grow, willing to pivot, willing to try and fail and get back up again, and maybe willing to cry in your car for five minutes before regrouping. Let me ask you this. Have you ever heard someone say, I'm just not patient enough to be married? Nope. Or maybe?
• 7:12
  Stay with me here though on the metaphor. Because we all understand that marriage isn't about having endless patience. It's about commitment. Right? It's about choosing to stay in the room when you're mad, tired, or would rather be watching Netflix alone in peace.
• 7:25
  We don't go into marriage thinking, well, I've already mastered compassion, conflict resolution, and effective communication, so I guess I'm ready. No. We go in with stars in our eyes, hitting our first big argument over how to load the dishwasher, and then realize, oh, this is gonna take some work. But we do the work because it matters, because we love the people involved, because we've committed to figuring it out. Homeschooling is the same.
• 7:52
  It's not something you walk into already being perfectly equipped for. It's something that you grow into, like parenthood, marriage, or trying to understand your Wi Fi printer. Now don't ask me about tech because I can't help you there. You don't need to be patient to homeschool any more than you need to be patient to get married. What you need is the willingness to grow, to screw up and try again.
• 8:13
  To say, I was too harsh earlier. I'm really sorry. Let's reset. To see the long game, even when the short game looks like a glittered covered yogurt smeared disaster. So the next time you hear someone say, I could never homeschool.
• 8:27
  I'm not patient enough. Or maybe you say this to yourself, I shouldn't be homeschooling. I have no business doing this. I'm not patient enough. Flip it around.
• 8:35
  Could you do something hard on purpose because you believe that the end result is worth it? If you've ever stayed in a tough relationship, stuck at a job you weren't sure that you could handle, or kept parenting through sleepless nights and tantrums at Target, you already have the tools. You're already doing the hard thing. Homeschooling just channels that same grit in a different direction. I did not start homeschooling because I was patient.
• 9:00
  I started homeschooling because I wanted something better for my kids, something more connected, something more intentional, more aligned with the kind of childhood that I envisioned for them. And guess what? I was still me on day one, impatient, easily flustered, sometimes too quick with a sharp tone or too slow with an apology. But the thing is is homeschooling didn't require me to show up already perfect. It just asked me to show up and try and grow, and I did.
• 9:29
  And I'm gonna tell you how after the break. Before we continue, I wanna share with you a program that's been a game changer for our homeschool. At our center, we instructed and helped kids through pretty much every math program on the market and know firsthand just how important a solid math foundation is for our kids' futures. As a career educator with high standards, finding the right program that checked all the boxes felt like too tall of an order until one day I tried CTC Math. CTC Math is an online math curriculum for k to 12 students with motivating interactive lessons that allow kids to learn at their own pace.
• 10:02
  It does all the teaching and grading so you don't have to, and their adaptive lessons adjust so your child is progressing confidently. With CTC Math, your child is getting a top notch education and you just made your homeschool life easier. Visit ctcmath.com to start your free trial today or click the link in the show notes. You know how feeding a homeschool family can feel like running a twenty four hour diner with a revolving menu? Yeah.
• 10:26
  Me too. But here's my secret weapon for keeping everyone fed without losing my mind or blowing the budget. Azure Standard. Azure is a homeschool family owned company dedicated to providing affordable organic, natural, and non GMO groceries, health, household, and garden products. In fact, they have over 12,000 options to meet your needs as a health minded household.
• 10:52
  All vetted ahead of time to be free of harmful preservatives, food colorings, chemicals, and pesticides. Tired of spending too much on health food? Give Azure a try. Your body and your bank account will thank you later. Use code Christy Faith 15 and get 15% off your first order at azurestandard.com.
• 11:11
  That's ChristyFaith15 at azurestandard.com. Welcome back. So how did I show up? Imperfectly, messily, exhaustedly. I've cried from being overwhelmed just like every other homeschooling parent I'm sure has.
• 11:27
  I've had moments where I genuinely thought, maybe I'm the problem, which for the record is sometimes very much true. But I've also had moments where I've watched my child get it. Something that they've struggled for months, and I got to be there to witness the breakthrough. I've seen their confidence grow. I've seen our connection deepen and joy return in ways that I don't think would have ever happened in a different setting, and I've seen myself grow too.
• 11:54
  I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am a better mom because of homeschooling. Not because I got it right every day, but because I kept coming back to the table, because I let it refine me. You see, homeschooling is not a reward for already having your life together. It's a process that changes you from the inside out if you let it. And let me tell you, my parenting style and my motivations for homeschooling back when I started are totally different than why I homeschool now and how I parent now.
• 12:24
  I look back and honestly, I am so embarrassed with my tiger mom approach to homeschooling and my authoritarian style of parenting. We've done a lot of work over here and a lot of healing. But as I embraced growth and as I embraced researching more, I learned from my mistakes. Now I'm not saying I'm perfect. I hope you're not getting that from this.
• 12:44
  My point is is that we're not homeschooling because we're naturally better than other people. We're homeschooling because we're committed to this journey, and we know it's the right thing for our kids. And we learn how to pivot, how to pause, and pour ourselves another cup of coffee when we need it. So no, you don't need to be more patient or extra patient in order to homeschool. You don't need to be perfect.
• 13:04
  You don't need to be polished. You certainly don't need to be Pinterest worthy. You just need to be willing, willing to try, willing to fall and try again, willing to grow alongside your kids, not stand in front of them as some perfectly packaged model, but right there next to them figuring this life out too. Because that that right there, that's what makes a powerful unstoppable homeschool mom. Not your natural temperament, not your personality, not whether or not you manage to speak gently when you find the wet laundry in the washer again smelly.
• 13:36
  The truth is you're already doing brave hard things every single day. If you care deeply about your kids, you're showing up. Even when it's messy, you are already in the arena. And if you're feeling unsure or overwhelmed or like everyone else must have it all together except you, let me tell you this. Because I work with hundreds of moms in Thrive Homeschool Community, and in there, we keep it real.
• 14:00
  In fact, I often joke that Thrive Homeschool Community is for imperfect moms. So if you're perfect, you're not allowed in, but that's kind of our posture. We're definitely a growth mindset girly place. You are exactly the kind of mom we built Thrive Homeschool Community for. And no, we're not saints.
• 14:16
  We're not the patients club. We're just a bunch of regular moms who decided that walking this road together is better than walking it alone. And we take our kids' education seriously, and we wanna be on the right path that gives them the education that they need now to prepare them for a bright future. If you want more of this kind of honesty and encouragement, check out my book homeschool rising too. You can get it on Amazon.
• 14:37
  It's full of the real talk that I wish I had when I started. The stuff that gave me the confidence and reassurance that I was making an informed decision about my child's education. That book is if you're homeschool curious, but also if you're currently homeschooling because it will be the reassurance that you are making the right decision for your children. So the next time someone says, I could never homeschool. I'm not patient enough.
• 15:01
  Even though you want to say, well, neither was I, but I showed up anyway. Please don't say that. Maybe this could be an opportunity to be vulnerable and invite a conversation. Maybe it's a time for you to be real. Maybe you can say, no.
• 15:14
  It really is hard, but it's so worth it. Our life is incredible. And, of course, always give the benefit of the doubt. Often people just don't know what to say, and it's the first thing that comes to mind. Okay.
• 15:24
  But before we go today, I have something really important to share with you. As moms, don't we treasure those little secrets and those tips and the encouragement and the wisdom that helps us give our kids the very best in our homeschooling? And isn't it a complete bonus when that treasure trove doesn't break the bank or is free? What if right now you could be a part of that treasure for another mom? What if you could help her find the courage to start homeschooling, the clarity to keep going, or the confidence to believe she's giving her kids exactly what they need, all without spending a dime?
• 15:56
  See, that's what Christy Faith Show is all about. Giving you the tools, the encouragement, and the community that you need to homeschool with purpose and joy. I don't gatekeep content. I don't put up a paywall. Even though a lot of people do do that, and what I share is worth so much, it takes a team, time, and resources to make this show happen.
• 16:16
  And we do it because we have an incredible mission, but we can't do it alone. For my regular listeners, you've heard me say this before, so here is your cue. This section of my show takes me about sixty seconds to share. So it's the perfect time to pause, leave a comment, give some stars, encourage a mom in some way, or engage on the platform that you're listening in on right now. Only if you like this episode, of course.
• 16:41
  But that engagement, whether it's just a quick comment, a review, the five stars, or simply subscribing, that's what tells the algorithms that this show deserves to be seen. And it costs you nothing at all, But it could mean everything to a mom who's been searching for clarity and confidence in her homeschooling journey. This podcast is about transforming families and building a movement of moms who are taking back the hearts and minds of their kids. And you, my friend, are a part of that mission. So if you believe in what we're doing over here, please take a moment to engage.
• 17:14
  It's free, it's quick, and it's powerful. And thank you for being the reason another mom finds her way forward and rescues her kid out of a failing system. Thank you for listening today, and I will see you next week.