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Special Episode: Pete and Maddie chatting it up · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete "mental health champ": Welcome into Voice of the Voice. This is a very special episode. It's me and with the returning one, the only Maddie Andrews is here with us, guys. ⁓ Maddie and I, Maddie and I decided we we just had a dud of a guest, we'll be honest with you guys, full circle. We had a couple duds, so we figure we're gonna give you something a little special. For all you guys that have not heard Maddie's story, Maddie's gonna share it for y'all right now, and we're gonna talk about some of the things she's up to these days. So, Maddie, why don't you lay it on them? Let them let them know the goods. Maddie Andrews: Hello. Okay, well, Pete knows a lot of my story. I was on Pete vs Anxiety. I've been on a lot of podcasts, so you may have heard it before, but I live with what's called ⁓ schizoaffected bipolar type, which means I have symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, along with complex PTSD, OCD, and a pretty bad case of generalized anxiety. And it all really started at four years old. I was sexually assaulted, and I told my teacher, because it happened at school. And she was like, You're a bad kid. This is your fault. And I was like, What? And she was like, And if you tell your parents, you're gonna be in a lot of trouble. So I like start Pete "mental health champ": So Maddie, let's talk about that really fast, okay? You you know, that's the fucked up part about it though, is that we tell these kids to tell someone when something happens, you do exactly what you're told to, and then that's the answer you get. ⁓ you're a bad kid. This is your fault. That's that's so fucked up that people tell you that. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. Well, it started this pattern that I still am trying to break today of like, okay, well, I'm gonna bury it and put it in a box and hold on to it. And it started my PTS dir T journey and I had a lot of more truck fucking trauma after that. And because of those early years, I just boxed it all up and boxed it all up and boxed it all up. And now I'm in EMDR therapy and I'm learning to unbox and untrigger and untraumatize. I'm on like a holistic health journey. I'm trying all these new great therapies I can share. I'm trying to heal myself. Well, my schizofactive is like pretty much managed with medication. I've done dialectical behavioral therapy. I've gone cognitive behavior therapy most of my life. ⁓ but my meds are good, but the PTSD and the anxiety were definitely not good. Every time I made a mistake, I would have this like deep fucked up spiral and like Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, go ahead. Maddie Andrews: I had the habit of like having suicidal ideations or self-harming and like these deep-rooted issues. But when I started EMDR therapy, she was like getting me on this holistic kick. And like, for example, I got a nutritionist. I just went and saw my nutritionist today. I've lost 16 pounds in three weeks. I lost three inches on my thigh, three inches on my hips, two inches on my waist. And I don't do it for that though. It's all natural. No GLP1. ⁓ I do it because my mental health. Like I've gotta figure out a way to h wrangle in this mental health. I also tried a new therapy, Pete, you gotta try this shit. It's called floating. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, yeah. I was gonna ask you about the floating therapy thing. Yeah, let's get into this. What ex what exactly is that? Because I've never heard of that one. Maddie texted me. I was like, dude, what the hell is that? Maddie Andrews: Yes, you've gotta try floating. It's so cool. So it's to regulate your nervous system. It can help with like anxiety and depression. So you're either in a pod or chamber. So I went to this spa. They ⁓ opened up this room. It's got like a heat lamp and like a shower, and like it's a spa. And then they open this little door in the wall, and it's a room, a dark room. It's got stars on the sky, and it's like a it's like a hot tub, but not except it's full of salt, like so much salt. And Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: They play meditation music. You can cut the music on or off. You can cut the lights on or off. You can leave the door open and closed. You can turn the stars on or off. And you you get naked and you get in this tub and you literally float. Like you can't, there's so much salt, you can't put your body down because there's so much salt. And while you're just floating for an hour, your brain is processing all this stuff. And then you hop out and shower and Before I floated, I was super triggered and having all this anxiety. But when I got out, I was like, I have no thought in my brain. I have nothing. And I went home that night and my husband was like talking to me about whatever. And it was like I was in my own world. I was so relaxed. I mean, I've taken benzos, I've taken gabapitin, I've taken a lot of ⁓ anxiety medications in my life, but nothing was like this floating therapy. And I'm gonna start going once a month. I'm so excited. It was so regulating to my nervous system. Pete "mental health champ": Why did you say that? Like, this floating therapy. I'm like Dude, I was like, What when you told me about this? I was like, what the hell is that? Well, I'm gonna try it though. I'm kinda curious. I'm I'm up for whatever, honestly. How did how did you find it though? How did you how did you discover this though? Maddie Andrews: It is so good, Pete, you've gotta try it. Yes it is so good. Well, I also started getting massages. So my EMDR therapist and my massage therapist, she works on my vagus nerve, which helps with my anxiety. ⁓ they both said you've gotta try floating. And then I went to an energy healer and a tarot reader, and she was like, You've gotta try floating. And I was like, Okay, what the fuck? So I try I looked up where floating was near me and I made an appointment and I was so skeptical. I'm like, How does laying in a salt bath like help you? Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. ⁓ yeah, yeah, yeah. Maddie Andrews: But I'm telling you firsthand, it changed my life. I will be floating. I just scheduled my next floating session today. It was so cool. Pete "mental health champ": Okay, so floating therapy, also called flotation or sensory deprivation therapy, is a session where you lie in a quiet tank pod filled with warm water and a large amount of Epsom salt, so you can float there effortlessly. people use it to relax, reduce stress, ease muscle pain, sometimes improve mood or sleep. Some sources note benefici benefits for anxiety, which Maddie is telling us is working for her right now. Maddie Andrews: Yes. Pete "mental health champ": But yeah, you know, I I've never heard of that, and I didn't even look it up, honestly. But it says fulling therapy is journey considered low risk, but it may not sound a good fit. If you have open wounds, claustrophobia, obviously, get that. Certain infection, epilepsy, low blood pressure, kidney disease, common prep advice, shower first, avoid caffeine, and not shaving right before the session to reduce irritation. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. Yeah, the salt water, like they give you Vaseline if you have like a cut or something to put over your cut, because the salt will really hurt an open wound. ⁓ so and drink plenty of water. Pete "mental health champ": ⁓ I believe it. Yeah. Yeah. I like I said, it was it was really interesting though. It was really interesting though to hear when you told me about it 'cause you're like, ⁓ yeah, man, it's so great. Da da da da and we all know whenever we run into you, you're always always wired because you you got so much shit going on and things like that too. Maddie Andrews: Yeah, I do. I w I do. And it's on so and then the energy healing, like I tried like, ⁓ I don't want to butcher the name. It's like a precursor to Reiki, and then I tried Reiki and I was so skeptical. I was like, what does energy have to do with anything? Like I don't get it. But we are energy beings and it was so healing to me and I am like Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: So diving into this, like what is my spirit, mind, body, and soul doing? Like and they were talking about like my chakras and like the energy healer was like, Your chakra for like fight, fodder freeze is so clogged. And I was like, Yes, I know. I'm always panicking. So I'm going for a deep energy healing and then must Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. I mean, but think about it though. Like when we first met, the story you told me was like, Holy fuck, dude. Eighteen plus medications and how you're sharing it on the internet and people are reacting like in the most heinous fucking way possible. Which, you know, is not really shocking. Now, being on the internet and putting stuff out there and reading a lot of these things, a lot of these posts you see, ⁓ me and me and Mel Goldman actually were talking about BPD and how a lot of a lot of people Maddie Andrews: Yeah, my story is crazy. Pete "mental health champ": always pays post these like fucking horrible things about it. But I'm like, dude, like here's a challenge for you. Did you did you take time to understand what these people go through? No, you probably fucking didn't. We all have phones, but you don't do anything with ⁓ You know what I mean? It's like everybody was saying all these heinous things to you. Well look at where you're at now, dude. Fuck ⁓ all at this point because you're you're s you're on a UN C, you know, you're making strides and everything you're doing. You have JNE's support group going on. You have all these things going, you know, so like fuck ⁓ at this point, man. But you know, it Maddie Andrews: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": It was so interesting though when we first met, because I was like, holy fuck dude, this this chick's been through the fucking ringer, goddamn. And then when we were talking to Whitney too, that got interesting as well. Maddie Andrews: Yeah, my story is fucked up. The things I could share if I wasn't afraid of the backlash and my husband divorcing me would blow your socks off. Like like No, like because Well, because of my bipolar, I had a lot of like ⁓ strings of like intense, really bad, unmedicated mania ⁓ in my late teens and early twenties and Pete "mental health champ": ⁓ no. You gotta we gotta get Russell on board. We gotta get him on board just one time. The the Maddie Andrews tell all between you and fucking Natalie, the two of you guys, I swear to god. Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: If you don't know what mania is, it's the high highs of bipolar and people that part of your brain and your frontal cortex that says, This is the bad idea. It does not exist. There's stories of people cheating on their spouse of 30 years, taking their retirement and blowing it, taking their life savings and buying a boat when they don't live near water, sa hypersexuality, like really reckless. And the problem is it's a euphoric feeling. People like it. It's like you're naturally high. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: But it's very dangerous to be manic. And so in my late teens and early 20s, not only was I in that state and being reckless, I was also on drugs. So the combination of the lack of inhibition naturally with the lack of inhibition when I was doing drugs was just something that was unmatched. And I'm talking like selling drugs. ⁓ sh like sexuality was. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Maddie Andrews: Something like not just being like promiscuous, but like illegal sexuality, like by selling drugs. I mean, how I am not dead or in jail is something that I will never understand. But I I think it's because it's for a greater good when I meet people who I work with, ⁓ say they were sick with their mental health and made reckless decisions. I can relate to that and I can show them a little bit of hope. Like I'm in grad school. I just want a full ride. I have a 4.0. I started my own nonprofit and successful. I also work a full-time job. And you can do all these things with a past. And we don't have to carry this guilt and this shame about the things we did while we were sick or the bad choices we made when we were young. Like guilt is a feeling, but shame is when you put that feeling on yourself. Guilt is saying I did something wrong. Shame is saying I am the something wrong. And that was me. I Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, but you but you gotta remember though, when you're you're telling people this, a lot of people don't react the r same way though. You what I'm saying? Like I I'm different than everybody else. Like some people be like, Holy shit, she's an ex drug addict. You know what I mean? The minute you say drug addict and you're or or are you clean now, they give you shit about that regardless. And I like, you know, when I when we've talked about that Maddie Andrews: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": I've gotten into that conversation with a few people. I'm like, dude, why are you treating people differently? Like Jake, just because they were somebody else before, you have to understand they're in an altered state of mind. Like where they're doing those drugs, they're not the same person you're physically seeing now. And everybody's too quick to judge them and then give ⁓ shit about it and you know, things like that too. Yeah. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. The It's true, the stigma. The stigma. Like I had a problem with pills. And I will never forget the night it almost turned to heroin. So I was beeping and bopping and going around town to whoever's house and doing whatever I could get my hands on. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: And my friend said, Well, let's go see this guy. And I was like, whatever. I don't know who he is. And he's an hour away, but I don't care. And he had cocaine and heroin in his house. I had never been exposed to cocaine or heroin at that point. And my friend said, Well, I'm gonna go over here in this room with him. You just chill out. And I was like, okay, whatever. I was hiding care. ⁓ and he came out and she was in there and he said, You want to try this? I said, What is it? He said, heroin. And I said, Fuck it. Sure. But as soon as I said that, my friend bust out the room and she was speedballing. She was doing cocaine and heroin at the same time and thought she was having a heart attack. And it saved my life. Because if she had not almost had a heart attack and me have to drive her home petrified to her family, yeah, I would be dead as a heroin addict right now. And the strange Pete "mental health champ": Jesus. Maddie Andrews: places I went and the strange people I put myself around was just and the fucked up part of all of this is like I was a straight A college student at the time. I I led a double life for a really long time. Like I would go to school and like participate in school and be this like I don't know good kid. And when I came home to this other group of friends, I was wildin' out and I was on the street trying to do heroin. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: And sleeping with guys for money and like all this crazy shit. And it wasn't because I wanted to lead a double life, it was because I was sick. My bipolar, my schizo affected was not diagnosed yet. And I was not medicated yet. And I was not in therapy yet. And when I was 19, I went to the hospital for the first time, and my mom was like telling them all these things she thought I was doing. Most of them were correct, but I denied them. And I was in the ER, I was suicidal, and my mom was telling them that I was manic. I didn't know what that word meant. And I remember because my mom had a hunch that I was being promiscuous, they pulled out this like giant ass needle and like shot me up with like every antibiotic in the hospital. And they were like, You're going upstairs. And that was the first time I was hospitalized. And I remember sitting in this little room, and they were like giving me these. Pete "mental health champ": Mm. Maddie Andrews: assessments like these 500 question bubble in assessments. And what they were trying to figure out was do I have schizophrenia or do I have bipolar disorder? Because you can have psychosis with bipolar disorder. ⁓ but they diagnosed me as bipolar and about 10 years later I found out my doctor had changed without telling me my diagnosis to schizoalfacta because I was having psychosis and ⁓ schizophrenia symptoms without the mania, without the depression. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Maddie Andrews: All by themselves, and my 20s were just fucked up. My d when you have serious mental illness, your 20s are going to be fucked up because you're trying to figure yourself out. You go however old you were when you got diagnosed or started having an episode. Mine was middle school, but it didn't really come out to the light until I was in college. And you think you're this person, you think you're one way, your family thinks you're one way, you have all these hopes and dreams, and then suddenly the doctor goes, Bam, here's a label. Pete "mental health champ": Mm. Maddie Andrews: Your whole life flips upside down. And you're trying to manage these symptoms. You're trying to find a regimen of medications and therapies. And it's scary. Your hopes tend to go out the window. And you don't know what is possible for you. That was me. I had to drop out of college. I had to, I didn't know what to do. My parents were supportive, thank God. Without them, I don't know if I'd ever become healthy. But Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: It took about I started medication for my OCD at 14. I started medication for my bipolar and schizophrenia at 19. And I did not find the right cocktail of medication until I was 35 years old. And along the way, I was over-medicated and almost died from it. I ended up with my heart was damaged, my lungs collapsed, a brain injury, three weeks in the ICU, two rounds of dialysis, all because of. This over medication that is happening in our system. You go see a psychiatrist and some of them are great and they're like minimal medication, slow increases. And then you have the doctors like I had who are you come in with a symptom and they're like, We're gonna max you out on everything. And then you come in the next month and they're like, You're like, I'm having these side effects, or this isn't fixed. Well, let's just add three more. The over medication, and that is so fucking dangerous. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The tox the the side effects alone and everything else. And I knew you told we talked about your lithium poisoning and all that kind of shit too. Yeah, man. It's fucking crazy. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying psychedelics or the the medications aren't supposed to work the way they do. They do for some people. Like you said, it's manageable with yours. But you know, it's not for everybody. Like w especially now these days, with everything else they've got, all the new things that we're learning every s every day, new things are popping up. Like, you know, ⁓ Maddie Andrews: Yes. Pete "mental health champ": It and it's it's fucking crazy, man. It really is. And then the costs. I remember me, you and Natalie were talking about the cost of it. It's fucking crazy. You can't even afford ⁓ these days. Like, you know. Maddie Andrews: Yes. If I didn't I work, I work to have health insurance. That's why I work. Because I cannot afford my medical care without health insurance. One of my medications, one, I take several, one without health insurance, I want to say it's three to four thousand dollars a month for a 30 day supply. Who the hell has three to four thousand dollars? And that's not my only mid, but that's the only mid Pete "mental health champ": Jesus. Jesus. That's what I'm saying, though. It's fucking crazy. But the thing is, like, you need it. Like, if it's an essential, I see where it should be covered by some kind of form of something, you know. Like, I'm diabetic, all my stuff should be covered. I shouldn't have to have insurance because, you know, what I have is something that, you know, is very, very dangerous to have. You know, you gotta be careful. You know, I feel like those kind of things it should be those kind of things need to be covered regardless. Should be some universal thing that covers it. Then anything else that you want extra, like the people are taking. Maddie Andrews: That's Yep. Universal health care. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, basically. Yeah, it'd be nice like Canada has. Like like my friend my girlfriend was telling me about that. She was like, Yeah, you know, we have like here in Canada, you can walk anywhere and walk into any place with your card and you can just get care. And I like, Yeah, that doesn't work like that here. You're basically fucked. Because we were talking about another friend's situation and she was like, You guys don't have these kind of things? I'm like, No, we don't, unfortunately, that's a crazy fucking part of it all. Supposed to be the greatest country to live in and and we can't even get fucking money. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. No. No. Let's get this shit. I just I was having heart palpitations. My resting pulse before I started all this holistic and de stressing was like 166. When I slept, it was like 40. My heart was going crazy, and I never saw a cardiologist after my lithium toxicity. So my my primary was like, You need to go get a workup. So I had an ultrasound on my heart. I wore a heart monitor for two weeks. Of course he said he thinks it's just stress, which is Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: Hence the holistic de-stress journey, like floating. ⁓ so I don't have to go on heart medication. but my insurance was supposed to cover it. They made me pay my deductible, and I had almost $4,000 left on my deductible. So as soon as they got I got my heart results, and about a month later, I got a $4,000 bill for those heart results. And there was no warning that my insurance wasn't going to cover it. It was ordered by a doctor, it was necessary. I was having heart problems. I had this damage. I could have had permanent damage to my heart from the lithium toxicity that was never found. So it's just some bullshit that now I'm having to pay off a four thousand dollar hospital bill to make sure I'm not dying. Pete "mental health champ": Isn't that it's just crazy though? To me, it's just it's fucking ridiculous. It's like, why? Why? It's just like it doesn't make any sense. The level of greed that we deal with here, you know, and then everything in the cost of rising, everything else call rising up and things like that too. And it's like, well, you have to have insurance. Insurance for what? You don't cover any goddamn thing. So what's the point of having it half the time? You don't cover ninety percent of the things you're supposed to cover, so what's the fucking point of having? I'm paying you for nothing at this point. Maddie Andrews: Yes. Pete "mental health champ": It it's it just makes no sense. The system's so fucking flawed. It's just like it's crazy. It's like, well, you know, people we know mental health is an issue. We all know that. Fuck, look at the numbers. Numbers don't lie. Statistically it's crazy. Maddie Andrews: The system is flawed. Well that's why That's one reason I'm going to grad school. I'm getting my master's in social work. And should be a lot of people do when they hear the word social worker, they think like either therapist or someone at DSS or Child Protective Services, but that's not what I'm doing at all. I'm gonna be an advocate. And one of the things I'm gonna have what I'm gonna advocate for is mental health. And one way I'm gonna advocate for it is policy, politics. We need to have equitable policies in place to protect mental health. Like I know That in North Carolina, because of ⁓ I think her name was Irene and Charlotte, who got stabbed by the man with schizophrenia. They're trying to change what we call in North Carolina IVC involuntarily commitment. We don't have forced community care in North Carolina. You can't court order someone to go see a therapist. The only thing you can do ⁓ is put them in a hospital and take away their civil rights. And I IVC people for a living at my job. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: And the way it works is anybody can walk into the magistrate and say, they threaten to kill themselves. They're a danger to themselves. Or they're trying to kill me. They're a danger to me. And if the magistrate believes you and you testify, the police will get you. You have no rights. You're taken to a hospital for a first evaluation. If they say it's true, you're taken to another place and you're locked away. And they can hold you up to 10 days without you can't leave. You have no rights. And if they say you should stay after that, there's a Court and the court will either deem you stay or you go. And a lot of the times in North Carolina, when it winds up in court, the people are released. People are IBC'd. I'm not saying IVC is wrong in all cases. There was definitely points in my life where I should have been IVC'd. I'm not saying it's totally a bad thing, but one thing I want to advocate for is like, let's change it to force community care because the people who are getting IVC'd get released, have no aftercare. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: And it's a revolving door of the hospitals. And then our emergency departments are flooded with the same people who are not receiving community care. And if you look at the if you look at the policies, I'm gonna get a little nerdy here. The Supreme Court ruled in 1999, the Olmstead case, it was just the anniversary, that forced institutional care is illegal when they can be served in the community. Thanks to the Supreme Court case in 1999. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Maddie Andrews: Community care was the way to go because before that people were living their lives in institutions and had no say in it and they didn't have to be there. Not until nineteen ninety nine. And not everybody was released. And if you look at like the the fifties, everybody was going to an institution and those places were horrible. The way mental health has been treated historically is just terrible. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You know, and it's a major problem though for a lot of people. Think of the school shootings and all these other things that happen. Like they all say mental health issue, but then it gets swept under the rug. The NFL is one I'd like to highlight a lot, because we've lost the two young players that they'll both kill themselves. Both shot themselves, in fact. So both of them have shot them and yet no one says shit. That's that's the scary part. Junior Seyo went crazy and fucking went on went nuts and that but that that got light though. That was funny. That's why the institute knew helmets, because junior say all and all the concussions Maddie Andrews: It is Yes. Pete "mental health champ": You know, Steve Young had had to retire due to concussions, you know. And then there's the guy with the Miami Dolphins that gets him a lot too, you know. But it's like ⁓ circling back to the Dallas Cowboys guy that killed himself on the highway over here. And and it's like no one talks about it. It's like, okay, well it happened. All right, so then what are we doing to change these problems? Nothing. Nothing. I was tagging the I'm gonna start tagging the NFL though. I'm pretty I'm planning on starting to tag the NFL every day until I can get somebody. And I'm gonna see what they say. Like see if I could reach out and talk to somebody. Maddie Andrews: Not shit. Pete "mental health champ": And ask him, like, what are you guys doing to prevent the next thing happening for these guys? Like, I get their athletes, this and that, but do you have access to all these things? Like, why not make sure these guys are mentally sound? If this is what's happening in these young guys, these aren't older players, these are young dudes, both in their 20s. But the other guy was really struggling. It's like, didn't did no one notice this? You know, like like his girlfriend sights, he was struggling. Okay, so if he was struggling. Did anybody else notice anything? Like, like I just got questions I just want to know. Like, did anybody notice him struggling? You know, just get some answers and like what's your plan going forward? Like, you guys have all these great systems in place for alcohol and all these drug things and all these other policies, but what about these guys' state of fucking minds? Especially young guys, because it's two young dudes. It ain't like these are some veteran players. These are two young dudes that have killed themselves, you know, the bolt. One guy did it in his home, the other guy did it on the side of a fucking highway. And it's like, then you say nothing about it. Like nothing is said about it at all. You know what I'm saying? It's like nothing is said with this kid's 24. The helmets are redesigned to do that. If you look at their helmets, that little we that part you see the indicate is supposed to reduce it because the junior sayout thing brought that to light, that that was one of the things they were worried about, head trauma. So they redesigned the helmets to be better, take impact better. That's why they can't do certain things anymore. There's a lot of rules. If you look at what it was in the nineties versus now, they've changed a lot of rules that you can't just lay out somebody like that. Maddie Andrews: Well that head trauma. Pete "mental health champ": For no reason. Like there were dudes hitting people like full steam, just running these guys over and just taking them out. There was that this new the New Orleans Saints thing. They were accused of doing a hit list type thing where they were targeting players for money. Hey, if you take out this person, you get a you get a bonus or whatever, you know, you get payment for this, you know. But my thing is like these guys that are killing themselves, and then we say nothing about it. Like it's their mental their mental health isn't bad shape. It's care it's crazy. Maddie Andrews: Well the I don't know. If you look at it, the twenties where a lot of these guys are, is the prime time for mental illness to emerge. That's when a lot of it comes out. They're under an extreme amount of stress. They're getting a lot of hate. ⁓ and it's all public. Everything is suddenly all public in their whole life. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Exactly. But my c my question to that is though, is why if we know this is what they're dealing with, why have we not implemented this after losing two of these guys? They that should have been the the even after the Dallas Caliboy player, honestly. I may not like the Dallas Cowboys, but the fact this young man was struggling that bad, ⁓ I I think we should have done something. We should have started doing psych evaluations on some of these guys just to make sure everybody's okay. Like, hey, listen, is there something you're not talking about? Obviously we don't have to tell people what the results are because that's our own their own personal things. You know what I mean? But I think that these guys, somebody needs to start advocating for these guys or the players union needs to start doing something because like these guys are in their young age. And just like you stated in young in the 20s is when a lot of them developed these things. Why not start checking these guys to see if everything's okay, if there's not something we can prevent these guys from doing something like that. They had a whole life to live. They could have done other things, you know, gone on and played played for a couple of years. They they're living the dream. They're playing in the NFL. Most guys that play in college, that's what they want to do. But it's like Maddie just stated, you know, it's it's crazy because it's like we we know these statistics, but then we don't do we don't go back and check over them. Like we ha they have all these great practices, concussion protocol, all that great stuff. So why are we not checking in on these guys mentally to see how they're doing, especially after we just lost two of them? It's like what more has to happen? And it and to me it's just insane. To me, it's just fucking crazy that that we don't say anything about that that kid, that poor kid took his life and then we don't say shit about it. It's like Maddie Andrews: It's crazy. Well, mental health is thing where like if it's not directly affecting you, like yourself, your loved one, people just sweep that shit right under the rug. Like I had a political meeting with a politician one time and I was advocating for mental health and telling her some of the advocacy events I was doing to reduce stigma. And she had she told me, she said, mental health is not stigmatized, behaviors are. Well, are you saying everybody with every diagnosis has the same behavior and that's why they're stigmatized? Because I had schizophrenia. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: And I bet if I asked her what people with schizophrenia were like, she would have said, dangerous. I've never hurt anybody. I hate conflict. I hate thinking I hurt people's feelings. That is not me at all. And when I think I've hurt someone just emotionally, I break down and crumble for days. I cannot stand it. Yet when people hear the word schizophrenia, they're like, ⁓ she's really gonna hurt me. We need to stay away from that girl. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Or the assumption that all of you guys hallucinate and all these other things. Just just like OCD. Remember, remember we had Keith on about the OCD? Or we had the guy. Well, we had another guy about OCD. Kevin, that was it. Kevin had the podcast about O C D people over t ⁓ no, the guy had ⁓ what was it? Never mind. What the damn it. No, no. It was there you go. The Tourette's guy. Remember how you was saying that too? Like it's it's it's crazy. It's fucking crazy. To me, it's just crazy that's what she had to say. It's like you're in charge of Maddie Andrews: Yeah, like I don't hallucinate right now. Yeah. Teresa. Everybody's unique. Like Pete "mental health champ": making decisions and that's your thought process. It's time for you to go. It's time to get some more forward thinking people in there. It's time to remove some of you all 'cause it's clear with all the statistics and everything else that's going on that this shit is just getting out of hand completely. You know, and then we're sitting here doing nothing about it. We're all like sitting there like, ⁓ well, you know, okay, we're gonna mention it and we're gonna sweep it under the rug. It's like that's that's not how this works, man. Maddie Andrews: Yes, yes. I think, you know, unless it's really affecting like you or your kid or your spouse, like I work in mental health and I'm very blunt about my mental health diagnosis. I told HR, I told my boss, I told my coworkers because I need accommodations. Like I have to go sit in my car when I'm working a 14 hour shift and process. That's just how my brain works. And when I get anxious, my voice elevates. That's part of my anxiety. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maddie Andrews: But like at work, I've not just at this job, but I feel like a lot of jobs, like when I was a teacher, if one minor thing happens and it could be related to my mental health, like they forget that I can't help this shit. Like, and it's not management. I've never it's not the management, it's the coworkers who I'm pushed and pushed and pushed, and then all of a sudden it's like Pete "mental health champ": Yeah yeah. Maddie Andrews: ⁓ she reacted, but let's not forget she told us she has this. And I'm not saying this happened at the job I'm at now, but I'm saying it's happened at other jobs where let's just put so much on her. And when she reaches her breaking point and has an episode, ⁓ my gosh, well, I don't know if you can work here, like, or they treat me different, or they try to get me in trouble. I can't control when I have an anxiety attack. I've tried to regulate as much as I possibly can. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Maddie Andrews: When you're gonna trigger the living fuck out of me, then I'm gonna have a reaction sometimes. And to be penalized at a job, ⁓ a past job for something I cannot control, like it's because people aren't affected by it. They don't understand what it's like to live with something like this. Pete "mental health champ": ⁓ yeah. One one hundred percent agreed that the job I got fired from, thank God I got fired from. I was on the verge of a fucking mental breakdown. You, me and Cindy were talking about this, and Cindy's like, Holy shit, did you hear this guy go? You need to quit this job, dude. You are literally, literally ⁓ about to lose your shit. I'm like, ⁓ I'm I'm on the fucking cl I'm on the edge, so close you don't even fucking know, dude. Like the minute they told me I was fired, I wasn't even mad, I wasn't sad, I was just like, Okay. Deuces. Like I had nothing else to say, dude. I was too tired to even care. Cause it was just that. It was a constant test. Maddie Andrews: When I was a teacher, when I was a teacher, I was so sick with my schizo effective. I was suicidal. I was having these major symptoms. And I was just being beat down and beat down by the system. And when I quit my job, I felt relief at first. I was like, this elephant is gone. But I was so young at the time and didn't have any coping skills. I woke up the next morning sobbing in my sleep. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: And I thought, what the fuck have I done? Like everything I'm working for, my only coping skill is gone. And I actually woke up and went in the living room and wrote a suicide note. And I made a suicide plan. And I was going to kill myself over quitting this job because of the amount of stress I had been under in the mental state I was in. And that's the pressure that our society puts on people about having a job. about having a certain kind of career, about having purpose. I had been pushed and pushed and pushed in this job and I suffered so much. Yet I was when I didn't have it, I was so hopeless. I was also sick. That's not the only reason I was also sick. But I was ready to end my life over my career ending, partially because of my schedule affected, but that's the pressure we put on people in these jobs. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. No, I agree. I agree. Mine was like that too. My boss is so ignorantly blind to it. She'll tell you she wasn't, but she was. Like I'm d we're do we dealt with somebody who was she she recently was diagnosed with the same thing. And she you could tell she wasn't she wasn't taking her medication because she was very unruly and things like that too. And I was telling my boss, I'm like, dude, she's something something wrong. She goes telling me, Yeah, I spent a couple of weeks in a hospital. That's where I was. And I was just like, okay, cool, get that. But it was it was rough. The last week or two before I fuck got fired, I was just like, I was on the fucking verge of putting a gun in my mouth because it was literally stressful. Every day I'd come in, I'd have to fix the same fucking problems on top of everything else. And my boss knew it too. And she was gone for one of those weeks. And I said, Dude, I've I was holding this store together. Like you come in the store, there ain't the the shelves are completely empty because everything's in the back and nobody can go do anything. But it's like I have two people, you have four, and you still can't get shit done. So it's not like I'm mad because I they're not just they're just blatantly not doing shit. They're they're not getting shit done with four people. It's not like they're shorthanded and it makes sense. I'm working with two people and I'm getting shit done. You know, and then I walk in there, you know, one day I came in there like the whole stack of shit was all over the floor, and I was like, God damn it, here we go. Like it was rough, man. There's days I went home, I was just ready to fucking scream and I was just like, This is fucking ridiculous. I literally came home and I was just like, I was I was exhausted. And it was it's funny because you see these emails. ⁓ this this is mental health awareness month. Y'all don't give a fuck about nobody's mental health awareness. Let's be honest, bro. You try work us all to fucking death. You don't give us enough people, you leave us in charge of terrible management who doesn't fucking do anything. They just complain that they can't get anything done and they don't know what to do, and then they just give up and then it's it's nothing gets done. And then they're threatening you every week. ⁓ well, we're gonna fire you guys if something's- Maddie Andrews: Yeah, yeah. Pete "mental health champ": We don't have we have so much say here, man. What the fuck do you mean? You're the one with all the power. We can't do nothing. We tell you these fucking people are no good and you keep them here. We had a guy where we're talking to, he was so severely traumatized that you couldn't say two words to him without him getting upset. Literally would just start breaking down. Just hey man, you didn't clean those drains right. ⁓ my God. ⁓ just start freaking out. And I'm like, dude, what is the deal? What are you so wound up about? Like I went out and talked to him. I was like, listen, man, talk to me. What's wrong? You know, and he was like telling me. He's like, I'm just overwhelmed. Like, you're overwhelmed, you can't even do your do the job. I mean, we're not asking to do much. We're asking you to clean a drain, do this, that, you know, there's a lot going on, yes. But at the same time, it was like this guy shouldn't be here working here because he just can't do it, you know? And that's the thing. Like, I I think too many people are like with the way the fucking job market is just crazy. You're in Texas, dude. I could I get any calls back. I got call back from Buckeys after I decided I was leaving. And they're the big one of the biggest Jackson Champions the world. And I was like, Well fuck, had you guys called a week sooner, I probably would have stayed here, but it's like fuck it, I'm leaving. I got like five or six interviews when I get to Illinois where I'm heading now. And it's weird because it's like I have the same resume I put out for everybody else, and these guys are like chomping at the bits. So I'm like, all right, cool, see you later, I'm out. And it to me it's just fucking stupid. Maddie Andrews: This is why this is why I want to be my own boss. ⁓ JE Support Group, for those who don't know, is my nonprofit. I started in 2024. It's my passion. ⁓ It's my passion, it's my love. It was born out of my own story. After my lithium toxicity, I didn't want anyone to ever feel I never met anybody with schizoulfactive until I was 35 years old. And that's a lonely fucking feeling. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie's gonna hire me to be the official podcast soon. Watch. Mm. Maddie Andrews: And I never had equitable, accessible, and affordable care. I there was points in my twenties where I was choosing do I eat or do I go to the doctor? There was points where I couldn't find resources. There was points when I was driving an hour and a half to see a provider, and I was sick of that shit. So I started J E Support Group. It's a registered advocacy agency for mental health, but it's also peer support. And for those who don't know, Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: Peer support or people with experience in either mental health or substance use who get a license. It's kind of like counseling and case management. It's just they don't pay peer support shit, which I'm gonna change. ⁓ but what I started with was I started a free peer support group. It's virtual. It's for anyone living with schizophrenia, schizo olfactive disorder, or bipolar disorder because we need our own community. There's not a there's not a lot of community out there for people like us, and it's a lonely feeling. And that bloomed into Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: in person groups for any mental health concern. And in my in-person groups, we go to the zoo, we go bowling. I'm trying to hook them up with a horse farm. We do art. We talk. We have coping skills, all these great activities to build community. ⁓ and now I'm going into the unhoused shelters and providing hope for them as well. But that's not really the premise of J Lini's support group. It's advocacy. So I'm planning advocacy events such as so I'm giving a day in the life simulation For different mental health concerns, it's called a mental health simulation. You're gonna come in, get a profile, name, age, diagnosis, insurance, income, family support. And there's tables set up around the room, and you have a card, and you have to the tables are real life things like jobs, school, ⁓ pharmacy, outpatient, hospital, and you have to navigate days in the lives. And at every table, you're gonna be given a situation card with real situations people may go through. And you have to fucking pay learn how that feels to try to navigate that. And it's gonna be impactful. And it was my idea and it's gonna be done across North Carolina. And I'm pretty fucking proud of it. And now I'm planning a suicide prevention summit. It's gonna have lived experienced speakers, it's gonna have providers, it's gonna have resources. And I pair all of my anti stigma, anti act all my advocacy stuff with education. So I've hooked up with our ⁓ our main Medicaid provider for the area and have two years worth of free suicide training, youth mental health training, and adult mental health training available to the community members who come to my events or somebody who just needs training. Because if you don't understand what you experience at these events, go learn something about it and learn a little bit so you can have a little bit better level of empathy for the people who have to go through this stuff. Because it's not a cakewalk. It's very difficult, you know, and we just need to change people's mindsets a little bit. And eventually I'll get into policy and things like that and advocating on a larger level when I graduate. But we need more voices of people who have walked the walk. I'm a big believer in lived experience. Like, yes, I can understand you can go to school for a hundred years and become how all these letters behind your name and do all this stuff. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maddie Andrews: But if you haven't lived it, there's a difference to me. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. No, I agree a hundred percent. I think it's a great idea. We just you know when you're when you're coming to the city. So I know when we're we're branching out to where I'm at, because I'm down. Maddie Maddie said she's gonna hire me. I'm gonna be her first employee. She can yell at now. She's like, damn it, Pete, what didn't you do right this time? God damn it. No, but I'm down, dude. Like I said, once I get once they get there and establish and things like that, dude, we should definitely look at when you ready to start moving it to other citi moving it, branching out to other cities. Yeah, we should definitely look at it for sure. I'd be down for that for sure. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. I've had a lot of people asking harm. ⁓ Pete "mental health champ": I think it's pretty cool, honestly. I think it's a great idea. I think Maddie Andrews: Thank you. It's my passion. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, no, I agree. Listen, and you know, Pete Free Society could be official podcaster, Janie. You never know. Listen, but we can talk about that in the future. You never know, guys. Listen, I could be working for Maddie one day. Maddie's gonna get rich and then hire me. Maddie Andrews: Yeah, you never know. You never know. What about voice of the voiceless? Why can't I a big believer in lived experience. Voice of the voiceless is all about lifting the voices of the unheard. Why can't voice of the voiceless be our official podcast? Pete "mental health champ": As long I'm getting paid, I don't care which one we make at what. We could do both of them could be there as shit. We're bringing both. We'll just bring both. What both of ⁓ you know, why not? That'd be really interesting too. Do on do interviews at events with people and get their actual thoughts on things too. Maddie Andrews: Yeah Trying this, so I have I have two interns right now, and one of them just competed in Miss North Carolina. She's fabulous. Her platform is mental health, yeah. And ⁓ we need to, I haven't figured it out yet. She has a little portable mic, and I want her to she goes out, she interviews people with it, and I want to get some questions together. You can help me develop the questions, Pete. Anti stigma questions to kind of like put people in a pickle, like. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, I know. We talked about that. When when's she coming to visit us? Have you figured that out? When she's coming to visit? Mm-hmm. Mm. Maddie Andrews: Okay, you've heard this, what's your gut reaction? And she'll have the mic on the street. And then we can be like, ⁓ by the way, statistically or in my life or whatever, and kind of show how much stigma is really going on in our society. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea. I thought about doing something like that, like going around different can college campuses and start asking people and you know, things like that. Maybe in schools if you can get into them, have her go in and start talking to some of these younger kids. Yeah, those are tough though, as I'm saying though, but the colleges you may be able to get away with though, go on the campus and just ask questions. Like Charlie Kirk used to do, sit there and just talk to people. You know what I mean? Like that's that was the craziest thing about it. People didn't like him, but all he he sat there and gave you a chance to say something as much as Maddie Andrews: ⁓ it's difficult. Yeah, yeah. Pete "mental health champ": You may not agreed with anything he said. You didn't have to. He he listened to you though at the end of the day. You know, that was the thing with Charlie that I respected was the fact that he literally sat there and listened to you. He gave you a chance to say something. If somebody tried to over talk you, hey, yo, yo, hold on, hold let him talk, let him talk. You know what I'm saying? He'd let you say what you're gonna say. There's another guy that does that too, that asked Sam something to come on the show and he was like, I can't do it right now. But he does the same thing, goes around, talks to some of these schools and things like that too. But that would be kind of cool to do too, eventually. It's just do that stuff like that. Just go down there and just street interview people. Just start asking them questions and see what they say. Or go to different events and just go and hang out and just see what people's thoughts are on things and see how like where it is we're lacking in the knowledge that people need. You know what I mean? Like, you know, some people are more knowledgeable than others, but we won't know until we start surveying them and figuring it all out. So I mean it's a pretty great idea, honestly. Since that's what her platform is anyways. Maddie Andrews: When when I was in college the first time, when I was like 18, I was a journalist for the school newspaper. I was technically the sex columnist, but what I did was I would sit on campus and like yell at people and be like, Hey, what do you think about this? And then I'd interview them and catch them on the spot. It was uncomfortable because it was about sex, but now I could take those skills and do it for mental health, I guess. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sit up a table and just sit there and say, Hey, what's hey, how's your mental health? And just leave it there and just ask people that. Like when they ask you about it, they say something. Maddie Andrews: No. How how how about your next move is to North Carolina, Pete? I had a dream that you and Jimmy moved to North Carolina and we're podcasting. Pete "mental health champ": Well maybe af after four years, we'll have to see. I'm only I'm going there because my daughters are there. So they've got four years left on the leather two. So after they're done, ⁓ and things like that. It's the sky's the limits. We'll see where I'm at in four years from there. So Maddie Andrews: Yeah, north it's humid as hell here, but we don't get a lot of cold weather. Pete "mental health champ": Well, I got a friend that lives there too. Him and his wife live there as well. That's something we were talking about her situation where she's like, She's in the same boat. She's like, Well, I wanna go I need to work, but I need to go to the doctor and see what's wrong with me. But she's you know, she worries about everybody else but herself. And I'm like, dude, you know, like you need to worry about yourself. She's like, What if I don't answer the phone? You know, the thing they all like to say is if I don't answer the phone, you know, it's like Maddie Andrews: Yeah. That was me. Pete "mental health champ": Like yeah, but at the end of the day, what they choose to do is is they're choosing to do like you answering the phone regardless, they're still making that decision. They know what they're gonna do. When you get to that point, it's like fuck it, you're gonna you're gonna say, fuck it. That's it, you're done. You don't care. Whatever you're saying to them is ill invalid at that point. They don't give a shit. You know, and that's what I was trying to explain to her. Maddie Andrews: Right. Heard this analogy. I heard this analogy one time. So you know when you have like a kettle you put on the stove, like say you're gonna boil tea, you put water in it. What happens when you leave the kettle on the heat and don't refill the water, Pete? It burns out. But what happens when you leave the kettle on the stove with no water in it? It catches fire and burns your house down. You are the kettle. If you don't constantly self-care and putting into yourself is not a Pete "mental health champ": Jackly. Exactly. Mm. Maddie Andrews: Well, I'm gonna go get my nails done once a week. It's a constant thing all day long. What five minute thing can I do to pour a little bit of water into that kettle today so by Friday I'm not completely burnt out, completely washed out and not able to do anything for myself? Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. Well, let's go ahead and start wrapping this thing up, Maddie. ⁓ you guys know where to find everybody. It was great having Matt was great to have a conversation. Nice doing these. We should do these more often. We should invite Jimmy if we like him. And if I don't that's your best friend, you know, I'm sure Jimmy I'm sure Jimmy will come running for you. I'm sure Uncle Jimmy will come running for you. What's that? Maddie wants me to come? Okay. Maddie Andrews: Here We should. I'd like to be. Yeah, I'd like to be. Okay. We do to have more little we we should have guests and then we should just chit chat sometimes. I think we have a lot going on in our lives that's pretty interesting. And maybe you'll try floating and we can hear Pete's perspective. Pete "mental health champ": Boy be hitting full strides running over his way. But anyways Think we should. Yeah, yeah. Listen, that's the first on my list of things to do is go floating. Yeah. No, but ⁓ I'll definitely try it, like I said though. But anyways, guys, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Voices of the Voices. Guys, you where to find us? We're on everything now. We're on Spotify all the way down to Pandora Radio. Can you believe it? We're everywhere you can find us. We'll even be hurt on the Pep Radio Network at once I can get us on there. Next time slot that opens, we're going in there, by the way. ⁓ guys, you know, check us out, nine AM every Saturday. Guys, it's Pete and Maddie. We're signing off. Maddie say bye to the kids. Maddie Andrews: Ha ha ha. ⁓ Yes, yes. Bye guys, be good. Pete "mental health champ": everybody be well be brave be one of the voice of the voiceless.