Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #166: Unveiling the Path to Healing: Embracing Inner Turmoil for Transformation

Transcript

Episode #166: Unveiling the Path to Healing: Embracing Inner Turmoil for Transformation · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

0:00
Where am I gonna go? I welcome to tea time with Amy and bev
0:04
happy before the July Good day to you. Wow, what's happening, sister?
0:15
Just uh? I don't I spend a lot of time processing stuff anymore.
0:20
I think that's kind of like my conversation. If I notice my energy
0:24
is going outside of myself to something or someone, automatically bringing it back into
0:29
myself and then noticing what shows up, whatever shows up right, Because no
0:33
matter why, no matter how I look at it, it's all practicing intuition,
0:36
it really is. It's flexing the muscles. So if I am focused
0:40
on a situation or a person or something that doesn't that feels displeasing to me,
0:45
then it's to be Okay, wait a minute, I'm looking outside of
0:48
myself. So now I'm going withinside of myself, whether that's feeling some traumas
0:54
or anger or some old energies, or whether it's feeling good or bliss,
1:00
bulk filling the body the way, whatever showing up in the body, listening,
1:03
focusing on on the ears. What am I hearing right now? Because
1:07
it automatically takes me into a neutral space and I'm no longer focused on what
1:11
doesn't seem to be working at the moment in my perspective of working. So
1:15
that's kind of a lot. I'm what I'm practicing a lot of what I'm
1:19
practicing on almost on a daily it's moments a moment really, and it's it's
1:25
recognized as soon as I get triggered or whatever. It's just going in and
1:27
seeing how has that shown up? Like I said, it could be I
1:30
might get something in my third eye, or I might hear something in my
1:34
ears, or I might hear whatever whatever. It's messages. We get messages
1:38
all the time. And then I could be playing a game and I might
1:42
see six one one six and I look it up and get the information,
1:46
and then then I'm sitting there, might just sitting there and all of a
1:49
sudden the word pops into my head hex are. I don't even know what
1:51
the hell that is. I don't know what that means, and I go
1:53
look it up and it talks about six, and I thought, well,
1:56
it's not I ironic, right, So more stuff being brought to my cabulary
2:00
that I am not familiar with, which is just another way of letting me
2:02
know. We're receiving information from outside of us all the time, like are
2:07
we listening? Do we discount those things because we don't talk about them?
2:10
So here we are talking about them. We're gonna start. It's being in
2:15
the practice of what good things did you do today? How do you feel
2:17
today? Not the things what bad did you do today? Or what do
2:20
you feel was wrong today? It's what was good? So that's where I'm
2:23
at. It was a loaded question. You didn't know that it was going
2:25
to be a loaded like is that all you got? It's fun? How
2:32
are you? Yeah? So that you know, I call it being curious
2:38
about yourself or self inquiry is a moment to moment. It just is because
2:45
in this moment, it's you and I talking and you might say something that
2:49
I go, oh huh, yeah, I mean, you know, might
2:51
be beneficial if I look at that, or we might have a great conversation
2:53
and it's just all joyful and laughing. And in the next moment, you
3:00
know, I might be with my husband and he does something and I got
3:02
to do some self inquired And the next moment I might be on the phone
3:06
with my mom and have to do some self inquiry. So you know it
3:08
again, it is just moment by moment and having the awareness of ease and
3:16
grace through it all because we're just we're just operating from our programming from childhood
3:23
and re recreating a story for ourselves, re maybe igniting something new and different
3:38
because we're just tired of the old. So, yeah, it is what
3:45
comes to mind. It right off the bat is an e just sketch,
3:47
like we've talked about in the past. But it's almost like every lifetime you
3:51
come into as an etch just sketch. You get to shake it off and
3:53
you don't remember any of the stuff and you start rebuilding and it's with new
3:57
information, which is kind of phenomenal in a lot of ways because we get
4:00
to forget everything and then start remembering things and piecing together things that make sense
4:05
to us. It doesn't have to make sense to somebody else. Yeah,
4:11
yeah, I find it interesting. And I sent you a recently, I
4:15
sent you a video. I said, it's kind of vulgar, but because
4:17
it is, And I even got to another spot that was like, I
4:20
can't related said that. It's like, I don't know how much we can
4:25
say. She's like, you can lay whatever you want out on the line.
4:28
I think I just passed that part this morning. I was like,
4:30
okay, you just got to that part. I was like, oh,
4:33
I didn't know it was like that. But there's a lot of information that's
4:36
valuable on this, and as I'm listening to it, I hear to my
4:40
for myself as a lot of times we come together with someone from our trauma
4:44
related or related traumas. I mean, really, it's that's a lot of
4:49
most relationships are made that way. Doesn't mean that the once the one person
4:54
evolves that they can't evolve together. No, it means that once the person
4:58
evolves and we kind of helped the other person kind of come forward, and
5:01
then that personally evolved so far and then kind of bring you for it.
5:03
So it's a constant give and take as long as there's not an abusive relationship
5:08
going on, name calling, beating up someone, you know, just abusive
5:12
abusive relationships. That's a little bit different. And this relationship that they were
5:16
talking about was even going into having affairs and cheating it, but really not
5:21
breaking up and going the opposite direction. They actually explored these feelings. They
5:25
explored it and didn't make it so taboo. And maybe that's why it's so
5:29
out there right now, because it's been considered so taboo, right instead of
5:32
just having the conversations, because if you want to do that, then again
5:35
you're not within sight of yourself. You're not following your true feelings about how
5:41
things feel, because otherwise a lot of these people wouldn't do these things.
5:44
And even the man's talking about that because he had an affair. He's talking
5:47
about how he couldn't keep it to himself because it was eating a hole in
5:50
him, so you could, you know, he had to just tell her
5:54
of the truth, and he finally dispelled it to the truth to her,
5:57
which gave her permission in so many ways to go floor things. And I'm
6:00
not saying that this relationship will work for everybody. It wouldn't work for me
6:04
because I'm not a monogamous person. I it's too much to maintain more than
6:12
one relationship. It really is. We have relationships with friends and stuff all
6:15
the time, but it's to focus on that relationship. If you're really giving
6:17
that relationship really all that it can have, or that you know, the
6:23
the greatest foundations, you've really got to be active in it. It's not
6:27
something that just you know, okay, well we made a commitment, we're
6:30
going to stay together, let's do this, and that's it. That's not
6:33
that's not how it works. So but that's the same for ourselves. It's
6:36
it's also that relationship was between two people, but this relationship we have with
6:41
ourselves, and it's like, how are we stepping on ourselves? How are
6:44
we treating ourselves? How are we neglecting ourselves? How are we not stepping
6:46
in our own power? And then they're talked about fawning, So we were
6:49
just looking up fawning on there and and it's another trauma response. But it's
6:55
like trying to always fix things or be our oversuthed or or overlove somebody just
7:00
so maybe they'll learn how to love you better. Just so many different things,
7:04
so different processes, but I like that. It's like, no,
7:09
when when we come together from traumas, it's an opportunity for us to grow
7:13
because it's a trigger. Right, we came here to crow create. We
7:15
didn't come here to be by ourselves on you know, contrary to popular belief
7:19
of some people. But it's it's not, that's not what it's all about.
7:24
It really is about us working together and when we work in those relationships,
7:28
we find out more about ourselves, We find out what makes us tick,
7:30
and then we recognize where are we locking ourselves down, how are we
7:34
holding ourselves back? And we could use that even going into an intimate relationship
7:40
because we ought to be careful what we say on Facebook. If we say
7:43
anything too much, it might be like that's these people cannot see it today,
7:46
but it's it's an intimate relationship, but it's an intimate relationship with yourself
7:50
too, So it's I find it interesting just the information that I've been that's
7:56
been actually brought to my attention because this is a video that I would not
7:59
typically listen to you, but I like, I saw it and I was
8:01
like, what the heck I wasn't I was in the middle of doing something
8:05
and they started saying things and I started understanding some things, which was huge
8:09
because it's been that way for a lot of relationships. You know, we
8:13
walk into a space, it build uncomfortable. Were trying to make it feel
8:16
better so we can stay in that space. That's our habit now. It's
8:20
when you can become comfortable in the space, regardless of what anybody is implying
8:28
or putting out there from their energy. It's you start recognizing this is not
8:35
my stuff. This is not my stuff. If I'm responding to is it
8:37
it's not my stuff? Is this true? So it goes back to the
8:41
same questions. We talk about a lot of this stuff a lot, but
8:45
it's because we go through things that kind of start coming up and it starts
8:48
kicking you into gear again and we're like, okay, so there's some triggers
8:52
there, but it's I just go right into it now. I'm just going
8:54
right into it. Why you made a comment a little while ago because it
8:58
gets old. We don't want to be in that space anymore. It's boring.
9:01
I don't like it. Yeah, so what do you do about it?
9:05
Do you change it? Right? You can't change it until you acknowledge
9:09
that there's something that needs to change. So there's this couple that we're talking
9:16
about. Um, they recognize that they had their trauma and that they were
9:22
operating from that, and they decided to work through it and openly discuss it
9:26
with each other as they're moving through it. So you know, is there
9:31
internal work but also being on that path together to work through it even through
9:35
the infidelity and the struggles and the um, you know, the difficulties that
9:41
they did have in the relationship, but what they did actually their relationship turned
9:48
out to be amazing. And that's where they're at now, and that's where
9:52
they're and they're they're offering classes and their teachers so I'm not quite sure all
9:58
that, but ours teachers of some sort and um, but they have a
10:03
fantastic relationship the way they're talking. So it is recognizing that we do.
10:11
We have our own internal traumas from our past, and until we can acknowledge
10:22
or see the patterns, you're going to keep operating that from that space,
10:28
you're going to keep having the same relationships, just different names, different faces,
10:33
and it's it's going to just perpetuate. And we always think that it's
10:39
the other person that they need, if they could just see how good I
10:41
am. Well, no, it's you've got to see how good you are
10:46
in yourself to recognize that this probably isn't the relationship for you. You're just
10:54
acting out of your programming. You're what you have learned is of some people,
11:01
you know, because of their history, because of their upbringing, they
11:05
might see an abusive relationship as a healthy relationship. And two people are going
11:11
to be attracted the person who feels the abuse is okay, and the person
11:15
who feels that being abused is okay, and they're going to come together.
11:18
So until you know something different, you're not going to do anything different.
11:22
You're gonna stay in that type of a relationship. Whereas when you recognize,
11:28
you know what, I'm tired of having black guys, I'm tired of lying
11:31
about them. I'm tired of saying you know I fell and you know I've
11:35
got bruised. I'm tired of the lie. I'm tired of covering these things
11:39
up. It doesn't feel good. And that's your We'd say this every single
11:43
week, using your body to recognize what feels good and what doesn't feel good.
11:48
And when you're in that space of covering things up and telling these lies
11:54
that you know it doesn't feel good, it's not your truth. And that's
11:58
the big it's indicator you could have that something is time for something to change,
12:03
and that comes inward, that comes inside of you, that knowing that
12:09
you're a spirit and body and you are innately worthy and deserving of goodness in
12:16
life. That's where the internal work begins, is seeing your own worth and
12:26
honoring that and knowing that there's so much goodness out there that you're worth,
12:33
you're worthy of receiving, and it's getting yourself into that space of wanting to
12:41
make those changes so you can receive healthy your stuff and more goodness. It
12:48
just feels like the journey kind of pulls you along it really, if you're
12:52
kind of following your intuition, you're just you just are along for the ride
12:56
for a lot of things, and you get to bear witness for a lot
12:58
of the changes that you get to enact, which is pretty phenomenal, especially
13:05
when you've you've already seen the opposite side of how it's not working. Now
13:09
you can just start seeing things working and it's interesting. It is interesting.
13:16
We had we had a little get together Saturday that we're getting like minded people
13:22
together and having conversations, and we kind of talked about a little bit last
13:24
week. I could just recommend it for anybody that's listening. You know,
13:28
get some people together. You always have at least one they know at least
13:31
one other person too that they're matching conversations with you, and it's really it's
13:37
a nice little get together and you could set it up for a small amount
13:39
of time frame just so you all have the opportunity. But it's not overdone.
13:45
So if you set it up for we set it up for a couple
13:46
hours, which seems to be pretty good, and then you know, you
13:50
just kind of go on and like you were saying, it's you get different
13:54
perspectives on things, and it's awesome. And it's not because it's always the
13:58
right perspective, because there is the right or wrong perspective, but it's another
14:01
perspective and you can decide intuitively if that resonates with you or if it doesn't,
14:07
and you can take it or leave it. And that's how it is
14:09
with a lot of things. And when you're in those groups, you just
14:13
recognize there's such a flow going on it and you get to watch everybody grow
14:16
around you. How they could have been quiet at first and now how they're
14:20
not so quiet, and how much they've transformed and changed, and even intuitively,
14:26
how they pick up on things that they especially when you have new people,
14:30
they don't know each other, and they start picking up on things naturally
14:33
that you already you're aware of. So then you have here these conversations.
14:37
So it's just such a beautiful place because it used to be for me at
14:39
one time. If I saw something like that, you're like, well,
14:43
I wish I could do that. Well, I can't do that, Like
14:46
it always felt like it was everything was always out of my reach. And
14:48
now it's just like it's just a conversation. We are, We are everything
14:52
that we're looking for. Whatever you're seeking, you already are. But if
14:56
you're seeking it and constantly looking for it, you feel like it's something that's
15:00
out of reason. It's not in your wheelhouse right now. It's not something
15:03
that you have access to right now, but we do. The only one
15:07
that is keeping it you separate from it, it is you. And I
15:09
love exploring these relationships. I've never listened to a relationship thing before, but
15:13
I love exploring it, even from past relationships, even to my new into
15:18
new relationships. How things, how the dynamics are, how I've been showing
15:22
up? How can I show up better? So there's a lot of wonderful
15:24
things out there, but how do you know what we're to go? Well,
15:28
you just get tired of where you're at right now, and then you
15:31
start asking more questions and you want more answers, and they start showing up,
15:35
and maybe you might get guided to a video and that video might just
15:39
have a word. It might even be something that's so minuscule, but it
15:41
makes such a difference for yourself. It's you just kind of go along for
15:46
the journey to see what it turns out to be. Before I would have
15:50
expectations of a video to be a certain way, and it's like, ah,
15:52
this hasn't given me what I want, and I'm like off of it.
15:56
It's just realizing exactly where I'm at, and the flow feels better when
16:00
I'm asking the universe guide me to something that's going to uplook me from where
16:03
I'm at right now, because sometimes I don't gauge myself very well, but
16:07
the universe gages me pretty well. So then the next thing I listen to
16:10
lifts me up just enough to get to the next place, and then my
16:14
mind gets to more of a playful place, because he can't always be in
16:17
a playful place if you're kind of down, or you or you're If I'm
16:21
looking to be uplifted, obviously i'm not. I'm not feeling one hundred percent
16:26
on track that day. I'm not feeling connected, and that's probably my biggest
16:29
thing is not feeling the connection. Yeah, so I strive for it all
16:33
the time. And what I what I do when, um, when I'm
16:40
in a group like that, like what we had or even in my classes,
16:42
I kind of take an inventory. It's like, how how are these
16:48
people reflection on me? And it's late you can relate better to them because
16:53
you're like, because there was one there is a little introverted and I'm like,
16:56
Okay, she's just she's quiet, she's reserved, she's she's you know,
17:02
just holding back and until she gets comfortable with the conversation, with being
17:07
around these people that she doesn't know. And I was like, well,
17:11
I can relate to that. And so taking the effort to include her in
17:14
the conversation and you know, make eye contact with her and make her feel
17:19
comfortable and seen and heard and not. So each person in a group is
17:27
a reflection of you. They just aren't. We're a reflection of each other.
17:33
And when we can tap into that space of oh, yeah, I
17:37
identify with how this person is, then you can bring in that compassion even
17:45
more. Well, when you're bringing in the compassion for them, that means
17:47
you have the compassion for yourself. Because you recognize that person is me,
17:52
and if I have the ability to become compassionate for them, that means I
17:57
already have the ability to be compassionate to myself. It's helping the person to
18:04
grow to open up because I I understand who we're referring to, and I
18:11
also know very valuable information flows from this person. So it's that's like I
18:15
said, it's always fascinating to watch the group and it and it is to
18:19
know that to witness someone else's opening because we're witnessing our own opening work.
18:26
Because that's an allowing thing. We're not trying to control it. H Yeah,
18:27
you need to go pick up You've got just two minutes to go pick
18:32
out a candy bar that you want to pick out, or you've got a
18:33
two minutes to go pick out a toy, and that's it. That's it
18:36
yet all that's all the time you got. We're not going to we're not
18:38
wasting time on this. But it's to allow an openingness, allow an openness,
18:42
allow them to be able to be themselves and open up gradually the way
18:47
they need to grow up or grow up or open up, because we all
18:52
evolve differently, and it's not something that It's not something that's going to happen
18:56
too fast. Do you think it's going to happen too fast. It's only
18:57
going to give you what you can handle. I think even even the people
19:00
that go through a Kundlini awakening, a huge awakening, I feel like it
19:06
can be very traumatizing to them, and from what I understand, but I
19:11
also believe that I think they were capable of handling it, or wouldn't have
19:14
been in that space anyways. That wouldn't have just opened up if I wasn't
19:17
meant to open up. So it's just like it's just along that journey,
19:21
it's just enjoying it, watching the enfoldment of everything, appreciating everything, appreciating
19:25
everyone, because then again, who are you appreciating or appreciating yourself because you're
19:30
appreciating all these aspects of you. Yeah, and then those moments like that,
19:36
like the Cundalini awakening or you know, a near death experience or facing
19:41
a some intense drama. What I see that now as is the universe is
19:48
like, Okay, you've had your moment to take a breath. Now it's
19:52
time to level up. We're going to the next level. Now right,
19:56
That's how how games are created. You you you've complete a level. Now
20:02
you're you're stronger, um, you have more tools, and then you go
20:06
to the next level and those that you're you're facing are typically either matching you
20:17
or stronger than you, and your goal is to be out with them,
20:21
out out maneuver them so that you can get to the next level. So
20:26
that's kind of the way I see the universe now in life is Okay,
20:30
we gave you enough time to take a breath and rest. Now it's time
20:32
to level up. So here's your next challenge. And we don't always like
20:37
that, even even for you know, like Bev and I have been,
20:41
you know, on this path for several years. We have those moments too,
20:45
and the universe like it's time, it's time. It's like, you
20:49
know, three years ago, when Bev said yeah, I'll do yeah,
20:52
let's do tea time, that was getting out of the box. That was
20:56
that was a huge step for her. And I knew it because I'd been
21:00
teaching for a while. I was already comfortable with it. I'd already been
21:03
doing lives, I've been doing that, and I knew within me to that
21:08
it would be beneficial for her to take that next step, and I encouraged
21:12
her, but I don't feel like I pushed I don't feel like I pushed
21:15
you into it, because there would have been huge resistance. She said no,
21:21
no, no, no, no, okay, okay okay, and
21:23
then finally she's like, yeah, let's do it. Of course I almost
21:26
fell off my chair, but I'm just say it's like, what waite,
21:30
what we're gonna do this? So? Um, you know it's it's getting
21:37
in in the discomfort is where there's growth. And as much as I like,
21:41
I don't want to say that it's true because I'm like, just universe.
21:48
Just because I'm talking about this doesn't mean I want to do that.
21:52
I don't want to. I'm not ready to level up yet. Be easy
21:56
with me, please, What is up? The scuse in? Geeseman says,
22:00
may all my lessons be it's not with grace and ease, But that's
22:07
what comes to my mind, you know, like I'll let all my lessons
22:10
be with you know, easy, with grace and ease or I don't know
22:12
how she says so, but it's something along those lines, which is nice
22:15
when you think about it, because we do have control over that. Just
22:18
like when we're when we're receiving receiving intuitive messages and you're starting to receive information
22:22
from Spirit. If it's going too fast, you can ask Spirit to slow
22:26
it down. If they're giving you videos and things are going boom boom boom,
22:29
because they're not trying to overwhelm you. They're trying to help you because
22:33
by helping you helps them. By helping you helps them, and it helps
22:37
the loved ones that are here in the physical still that are struggling, that
22:41
they're holding onto one thing that they can't seem to evolve from because they can't
22:45
let it go until until someone says something to them at one word and it
22:48
changes everything and it moves a load from their shoulders. Yeah, and they
22:53
feel lighter and they're lighter and they can go on because every time, so
22:57
if I see within I'll use one of my kids as an example. If
23:00
I see within my kids that they're struggling or having a struggle, you know,
23:04
not being happy of life or whatever, well, it doesn't mean that
23:07
I'm going to go out because before this was what I would do. I'd
23:11
go out and let's try to make how we're gonna make this work? How
23:12
can I fix this? How can I make them happy so they can feel
23:15
better and they can flourish. No, now it's I'm going to go with
23:18
inside of myself. How can I make what is she having right now?
23:23
That's really a highlighting what's inside of me right now, because that's me.
23:27
So if I can start looking at that stuff with inside myself, and now
23:30
I can start evolving. If I do that work for myself, and I
23:33
don't even like to use the work. If I like to look at myself
23:37
and to learn and get to know myself better is a better way of looking
23:41
at it, then I can move forward, and so can my kids.
23:45
They don't have to carry that stuff anymore. The thing is, we see
23:48
the problem, and we want to face the problem head on and let's go
23:51
fix it. And it's not something to go let's go do. It's not
23:55
anything like that. It's let's go with inside. What am I hearing right
23:59
now? What can I see with my eyes closed? What am I sensing
24:00
with my body? What do I feel in my body? Asking questions?
24:04
It's really always going right back to self, all of it. Well,
24:08
I'd like to add to that too. Is that that that fixing it.
24:12
One is you want to fix it so you actually feel better, not them.
24:17
You want them to feel better, but it's ultimately so you feel better
24:19
because you don't like to see your children or or your loved one suffering.
24:23
But the other thing is that pushing through that fix it, that go go
24:27
go. That's masculine energy. And what you're talking about is bringing in that
24:30
feminine energy to go within. Going within is connecting to to me, is
24:36
connecting to spirit and bringing in the feminine energy of nurturing to just be still,
24:42
be quiet, connect with yourself with your spirit and ask for the guidance.
24:51
So we you and I I know, have been in our survival masculine
24:56
energy, like until maybe a couple of years ago, maybe even more present
25:03
in that masculine energy of having that survival mentality, and now we're like,
25:11
you know, I'm just gonna sit with this. I'm just gonna ask the
25:14
questions internally, I'm gonna ask Spirit, I'm gonna ask God, I'm gonna
25:18
I'm gonna sit with this and just notice how I feel. When you're connecting
25:22
with how you feel and your emotions, that is feminine energy. And when
25:27
we have more people doing that it really, I mean, just having the
25:32
conversation, like I'm just calming down, like I'm just like a just feel
25:37
so good, right, Just let's just be right here and just notice how
25:41
we feel for the next thirty minutes. It's true and it's peaceful. Yeah.
25:52
And my mind's processing because we're saying feminine and I know for us,
25:56
feminine masculine that's an earthbound thing, that's not a spiritual thing, because that's
26:00
really not what it's about. We can bring forward people and feel a masculine
26:04
or a feminine to a person. So my mind's trying to process that.
26:08
But then again on the other side of that, why I have to process
26:11
it, right, But this is not what my mind was going through as
26:15
as you were talking, and you've brought that up because then I started thinking
26:18
about that. I guess it depends on if I'm in my humanness right now
26:23
versus being in my spiritual nous right now from either side, because it just
26:27
goes back to labels and everything else, so that I'm seeing as a label.
26:32
So now you're fitting into one space. And it's interesting. I find
26:37
it interesting that we refer to our intuitive as our feminine. Anyways, one
26:41
on the other side, it's just is. It's not a masculine or a
26:44
feminine feminine, it just is. It's just just is. There is no
26:48
there is no difference. We don't label things. So I've it's just interesting
26:52
that I'm processing this right now. So I haven't gotten anywhere substantial just yet,
26:56
but that's just how it feels to me. Well, I would say
27:00
that, you know, in in our human experience, there's duality. So
27:03
it's masculine positive negative, right, wrong, right, there's always duality,
27:08
and so that's how we identify those things from our humans perspective. And when
27:12
we can sift and sort through that, then there becomes more of a conscious
27:18
awareness, so would be more connected to a spiritual aspect where there is no
27:23
because each one of those is actually a judgment, and when we're in that
27:29
space of collective consciousness, there's no judgment. Yeah. And if that's the
27:37
goal that you have during you know, your human experience, then so be
27:41
it. I personally am like, okay, well, these things help me
27:48
identify the human experience, so I can get clear and sift through of an
27:55
understanding of a spiritual experience. Yeah, And I'm just wondering if there is
28:02
still duality, like when we're in five D that energy if there is still
28:06
duality, because it seems to be that there may not be. It's just
28:10
promoting questions for me. Right, That base would be just the vibrational frequency,
28:18
either a higher vibration or lower vibration. So yeah, everything's frequency,
28:22
so but it's just not staying the basic thing would be like looking at the
28:27
three D world and we're paying attention to politics, and then going to the
28:30
five D we're paying attention to being in a state of bliss, in a
28:34
state of happiness, in a state of connectedness. Yeah, so maybe so
28:40
maybe there wouldn't be duality in like the fifth or the seventh because you're connected.
28:47
That's the main focus in when you're in the three D, you're really
28:49
not connected. You're connected to everything that's outside of yourself. You're very about
28:56
the news that's going on and the materialistic stuff. Sure, and I mean,
29:02
look how how much we raise our vibration just from releasing the physical body.
29:08
It's like we can't even fattherm what that is. It's true. And
29:12
it's like when they talk about how dense it is to come once a person's
29:15
left their body, that's the that's the awesome thing. Like, so here's
29:18
the deal. Like if as we age, some people lose their sight and
29:22
their eyes become a problem. But to be at that space when that sight
29:26
has been taken and then all of a sudden it all comes back, that's
29:30
amazing. So that's kind of the same thing. Because these people have those
29:33
nigger death experiences that we've listened to some of their stories, and some of
29:36
them will say when they come back and it feels so dense and heavy,
29:40
Yeah, let me come back into this experience. So it's that is interesting.
29:45
It is interesting, but it's because it's just to me, it's just
29:47
like the eyesight again, you don't realize what you have, or where you're
29:52
at, or just how things could be taken so lightly. Even now coming
29:56
back into this body, we could be serious, serious, let's go to
30:00
that. What the what the F is up with this? Why do people
30:07
have to be so serious for spirituality? Because I've been the same, so,
30:11
I mean, I know, it's ridiculous. It's like this is this
30:15
is I am very much having a very spiritual experience. What do you think
30:22
about it? And when you're so serious like that, it's like Are you
30:25
really having a fun on your spiritual experience? Yeah, not when it's like
30:30
that, because it's so serious. Well, no, you need to do
30:33
this, you need to do that. No, that's not how it is.
30:36
That's not how it is really feeling good and loving? Yeah, simple
30:42
stuff right, simple? Yeah? Yeah. No. I went to that
30:48
phase too, Like I thought it was like there was I had this persona
30:52
that even spirit because I was a serious person, right, I was like
30:56
there was no there anyway. So when I got to this spirituality space,
31:04
I started getting that like that was a serious thing, like you had to
31:08
do things in a certain way and this is how it had to be.
31:11
And then the more I was learning and the more I was healing, the
31:15
more I was like, wait, these people are having fun and they're laughing
31:19
and they're enjoying life, and they make career. They cracked jokes about life,
31:25
and some of them still have alcoholic beverages and and dance and you know,
31:30
it's just like this, the way I was seeing it in my mind
31:34
and the way I was seeing people be it, I was like wait.
31:40
And then of course it was like now what am I doing wrong? So
31:44
I had more healing to do and now I'm just like, you know what,
31:48
if I feel like having a beer, I'm gonna have a beer and
31:49
I and I tell you as I'm drinking the beer, I know the consequences
31:53
because I usually just get like super tired and just want to go to sleep,
32:00
or the next day I'm just like not not feeling the greatest, right,
32:05
But in the moment, we're having a great time, and I'm just
32:08
like, you know, I'm gonna have a mixed drink. I'm gonna have
32:12
that mixed drink because I want to because it's not now, It's not out
32:16
of the need of having it, the need of having it to be happy.
32:22
It just in that moment, I'm like, huh, just gonna have
32:24
one. See how it goes. So it's yeah, because I have I
32:31
have a mentor, and for the longest time, I'm like, Okay,
32:35
spiritual people don't drink, so I need to stop drinking. Well, typically,
32:38
for first of all, I already made the decision that I wanted to
32:43
stop drinking or stop drinking as much because it was a need to have a
32:50
good time and I wanted I didn't want to have that need in that way.
32:54
It's a spiritual or this mentor who I saw a spiritual who. Um,
33:01
she does amazing work. She's helped thousands and thousands of people, and
33:07
I just you know what we do. We put these people up on pedestals
33:12
and we're just like, ah, they're so amazing, kind of like what
33:15
we do with actors. I think we had that conversation on Saturday, were
33:20
just like they're screams. Well, you know what, everybody's human, everybody's
33:23
they're people too. And I went to I think I went to a retreat,
33:31
a retreat and we're there and I saw her drink a glass of wine.
33:37
I was like, oh my god, she's drinking, and I kind
33:40
of was felt offended by the whole experience. I'm like, I can't believe
33:45
it. I just thought, you know, because I thought spiritual people quote
33:52
unquote don't drink. And so, but you know what, she's human,
33:58
she's got her own things, she's she can do her in the way,
34:00
she can do her in her best way in that moment, and if that's
34:05
what she wants to do, that's her choice, right. So it's really
34:09
interesting how we see other people. It is. But again I'm going to
34:15
a judgment. And then you were talking about you know, you feel like
34:17
you're doing to do something wrong. I have lived my whole life feeling like
34:22
I'm always going to do something and I didn't. Well, yeah, perfectionist,
34:29
because that way, if you're a perfectionist, that nobody's questioning what you're
34:31
doing right, so you point out doing whatever it is perfectly for somebody else.
34:38
But on the other side of that, it's just like you just feel
34:43
like you can't do anything right, and it kind of keeps you in from
34:45
moving forward, don't You don't You just can't move forward from that space.
34:49
And I'm noticing that more. And that was from that conversation. I was
34:51
too about that relationship stuff too, how she was talking, how the girl
34:53
was talking about and it's like so vulnerable. But it's not just being vulnerable.
34:58
It's sometimes I don't have words to put to the feelings that I feel,
35:01
and then I hear someone else, you know, talking about it,
35:05
and it's like it just gives I see how they've handled it, and it
35:07
gives me permission. Right, It's like they talked about giving yourself permission to
35:10
do these things, and we've talked about this too. You know, when
35:14
someone else does something and you're like, Oh, it's like they just gave
35:16
you permission to be themselves, to be there one hundred percent of authentic selves,
35:21
like not caring what size you are and dancing out in public for everyone
35:24
to see and just feeling it and stinging and not caring how your voice spills.
35:29
But if someone's paying attention to your energy, your energy is just like
35:31
flowing with us energy. It doesn't matter how your voice sounds. They're the
35:36
energy coming from the person is and it's in a happy, blissful state.
35:38
So it's like we're we miss out on all these things by trying to control
35:42
it because we're trying to not to do something wrong. And that's how I,
35:45
like, I said, that's how I've lived my life. And I
35:47
don't know where that takes me to. I really don't. I'm while we've
35:52
been talking, one of the things that popped in my head is I have
35:53
plenty of time and money to follow my spiritual path and I do so like
36:00
it's just being in that space because this is what my passion is before my
36:05
passion is, which is so funny because things change right before my passion is
36:07
might have been to find the right job or to be the best. I
36:12
don't know to learn how to be a psychic medium or to learn or to
36:16
you know, flex those intuitive muscles and those you're you're hearing and your sensitivities
36:23
and and all that stuff. And then on the other side of it's like,
36:27
I don't really care. I mean, I care about the people,
36:30
I care about spirit and I would I will honor that if that's if that's
36:34
my path, but I don't care. I don't that today this moment.
36:37
I don't care what I end up doing, as long as I find myself
36:40
in a space of happiness and everybody around me is happy too. Because if
36:45
I'm in the space of happiness, people are around you're going to be happy
36:47
anyways. And when they come around you and they're not happy, they get
36:50
to be happy in a few minutes. You're welcome. Yeah, right,
36:53
Well, step into the five D from the three D whatever however you want
36:58
to label it's because that's just another lady. But how do you feel?
37:00
That's where the that's where the key is, Like, well, that's what
37:04
you want to pay attention to. How are you feeling right now? And
37:07
if you're not feeling good about something like asking yourself Why don't I feel good
37:09
about this? How come I'm not having fun? Am I being too serious?
37:13
Because sometimes being too serious it's not allowing you to have that fun.
37:15
You're not giving yourself permission to have that fun. And back in the day,
37:19
my permission they give myself fun was through alcohol, right, and which
37:23
is crazy. It's crazy, but it's not necessary for me. It's not
37:28
it's unnecessary. And I think it's I understand where you're coming from because when
37:32
we have role models that we've placed a lot of emphasis on them, we
37:37
have an expectation of them because of the conversations they have and everything, and
37:39
then they say one thing and it kind of it kind of triggers you.
37:43
But it's also recognizing we're going to have role models and then that we're going
37:47
to do something that might trigger them. And that's all all of it is.
37:51
It's just a trigger for that individual. It doesn't mean that you're doing
37:54
anything wrong, that I'm doing anything wrong, It doesn't mean any of that.
37:59
If doing something wrong, you're not being yourself. Yeah, but if
38:02
you're not going if you're not going to be yourself doing an awesome job and
38:06
not being yourself, I'll tell you learn how to be yourself, because it's
38:09
not something you know overnight. You know, I got to fifty three and
38:14
we were talking recently, and we've been going through these changes for so long,
38:16
and I think even earlier on this conversation. You know, we've we've
38:21
kind of woke up a long time ago. But it feels brand new to
38:23
me all the time because it's constantly evolving. It It doesn't feel the same
38:28
ever, And it's crazy to me that once spirituality was like it's always it
38:32
was always about spirituality for me. A lot of us stuff not always,
38:36
but a lot of us stuff has been And to me, it's like being
38:38
overfocused on religion, overfocused on politics, overfocused on whatever. It's the same
38:44
thing. You're you're so focused on one thing, learning this one thing,
38:49
but you already have all but withinside of you if you would just stop and
38:52
listen. And I don't know what it is so freaking hard about just stopping
38:54
the lists, stopping listening when it's so we'll go searching for things well doing
39:00
and doing and doing as much as we possibly can, and the information doesn't
39:04
come that way until you sit down for a second, and then the information
39:07
starts blowing in. Why well, I mean, we go, but we
39:09
could go back to the other part of the conversation and stepping into the masculine
39:13
and recognizing the feminine times. Confidence, Yeah, it's a confidence too.
39:19
If you don't have confidence and listening to yourself is because if we're telling ourselves
39:23
a story of I'm always wrong, I'm never going to get it right and
39:27
never have the right answer. I always get you know, bad grades or
39:30
whatever, that story is that the lack of self confidence and trusting your own
39:37
trusting yourself because we've also been taught to trust everybody else. Everybody else is
39:43
smarter, everybody else has more knowledge, the grown ups, right, because
39:47
little people depend on grown ups and we see grown ups as they know it
39:52
all. Even my son, my son said this to me, like a
39:55
year ago. He goes, you know, when I was younger, I
39:59
was though adults knew everything and they just had it all together, and I
40:04
cracked up. I'm like, uh no, like we're trying to figure it
40:09
out too. It's like nobody has the answers. We only you know,
40:14
we only have our our body as the indicator of what feels good to us
40:20
in that moment, and really what feels good to me in this moment probably
40:24
not going to be the same thing that feels good to me in a year.
40:29
It's gonna be something else, something greater, or something you know,
40:31
I'm gonna say better, but it's just something different is gonna feel good to
40:37
me. So um So when he said that to me, I'm like,
40:40
uh no, son, no, we we're all still trying to figure it
40:45
out when none of us. But that's the playground, that's the fun up
40:53
the physical. And I was gonna say, even thinking, you thinking,
40:59
when you do it, when someone does have it all figured out, that's
41:00
just a perspective, and that's and and when you have it all figured out,
41:05
that's only for a second, and that second's gone. Now universe says,
41:08
oh, there's time for them to get another perspective. Let's add a
41:16
twist to this plot. That's right, And they take their little wand and
41:22
they stir shut up, Yeah, shake the egg. That's just catch.
41:32
Yeah. I'm just cruise along, mine of my own business, and the
41:36
universe is like, okay, let's go amy. I'm like, bitch.
41:47
So that's spiritual, just being playful. I bring the humor into it like
41:52
that because I just try to imagine our angels or God or whoever right,
41:59
whoever is in spirit watching over us, just like putting their hand to their
42:04
forehead shaking their head like, oh Lord, when is she gonna get it?
42:12
But we get it all the time, you know, quote unquote quotes
42:15
get it. So whatever it is you're supposed to get in that moment,
42:20
that's it. What are you gonna do? Yeah? Nothing. If you're
42:27
doing nothing, you'll probably figure it out faster. Yeah right, you'll get
42:30
the motivation for the next thing, all the things that we talk about.
42:34
But I'm practicing now, more practicing. I guess I was practicing it.
42:37
Then I plant seeds with it myself and other people. Well, every time
42:45
we plant the seeds for other people, it's a reminder of ourselves every conversation.
42:52
Are meet up on Saturday, this conversation every week that we have a
42:57
conversation every class I teach. When I'm speaking, I yep, I needed
43:01
to hear that too. Card readings. I'll tell you what. When I
43:05
do card readings, I'm like son of them. That was for me.
43:14
You're like, wait a minute, yeah, the camera for a second,
43:16
so I can have a conversation with myself right right, ho please, I'll
43:21
be back in five. That's funny. That's funny. You know, it's
43:27
interesting and it's listening to our passions. Free Minute bought me a guitar a
43:30
few years ago, and I have not touched I touched it a couple of
43:32
times lately. Actually since the July first, I've automatically gravitated towards it.
43:40
I don't know why or anything like that. It doesn't matter. So I'm
43:44
playing with it. I'm practicing on it, doing different things, not a
43:49
huge amount of time. And then when the grandkids came up yesterday, we
43:52
just kind of sat and I listened to I paid attention to them. I
43:54
watched their energy. I watched their wheels spinning, because you can see it
43:58
and they're doing things and then are looking at it up here and you know,
44:01
up on the neck of it, and they're playing with the strings,
44:05
and so it's like it's I find it interesting. So I'm only saying that
44:08
for people, like if you've got something and you're walking by it and it
44:12
scrapping your attention, snags your attention, as Susanne Eastman always say says,
44:16
go over and check it out. Five minutes, take five minutes with whatever
44:21
that passion is. You feel like dw if you're sitting out somewhere and drawing
44:24
something, go freaking draw it out. Like I was reading this book and
44:29
I was talking about going to the beach of time, and he goes into
44:31
the beach of time and you can create. So if there's something that you
44:34
want to create, let's say that you like to draw, go into that
44:37
place and you're in your mind and you're drawing whatever it looks like, whatever
44:40
you want it to look like. And then you're already practicing in that space
44:44
and you bring forward other stuff into the fruition, into this time space,
44:49
reality and our humanness. You get to bring all that forward. So it's
44:52
like such a fun play time. So now I could just imagine myself totally
44:55
ripping it up in there, just really getting down and yeah, get everything
45:00
and then who knows what will come out of it. But that's the playtime.
45:05
But that's part of that's part of your spirituality, that's part of your
45:07
growth, it's part of your creativity. And for right now, for whatever
45:13
reason, for me, creativity is a big, huge deal. Even sitting
45:15
yesterday and coloring with the kids, and coloring and coloring books. It's just
45:22
just different things. So it's awesome. If you need to learn how to
45:27
do that, go hook up with some classroom, become stepping for an aid
45:30
for the day or something like that, and go color or something. It's
45:32
fun. But I get to see how they're the kids are processing things,
45:37
and then I see how they they're not doing it worried about not worried about
45:40
it so much yet, but I do catch them like, oh, did
45:43
I do that right? Or I'm like, of course you did it right.
45:46
Could you do it wrong? I don't think, So keep up the
45:50
good work, you know, just move them on their way. Like you
45:52
said, back to the confidence thing, because a lot of people don't have
45:54
that confidence. But how do you gain it. Start listening to your intuition.
45:59
Start you don't have to mention it to anybody else, and you're going
46:01
to have some hits and you're gonna have some missus. And then it's like,
46:04
even if you were picking up someone's energy from spirit and you're picking up
46:08
a feminine energy, it could have still been a man. It could have
46:12
still been a man because he was just stepping in more into his feminine energy.
46:15
Maybe he was more in a feminine energy its whole lifetime. So it's
46:19
like there, it's just recognizing there's always things are always working out, they
46:23
really are. And we get so serious about things and have such an expectation
46:28
to an outcome or an attachment to an outcome, and then when we say
46:31
think things that we know that are flowing through, as if you try to
46:34
control the whole thing, it's just you're going to break up the true and
46:37
authentic message that's coming out. So it's just to be and that have an
46:40
attachment to that outcome. And the more that we start doing that stuff,
46:44
and the person across room he says, I really need to hear that from
46:45
you right now. Thank you. You don't even realize how much you just
46:49
helped me right now, just because you were listening to your intuition, just
46:52
because you said ords it popped into your head, that's it. And then
46:55
you start building up confidence and you start becoming feeling strong or more empowered,
47:00
and a lot of it stuff you don't feel stressed. We talked before about
47:02
recently about even getting us getting together. You said earlier in a conversations getting
47:08
together and me even doing this, it was so far from my wheelhouse,
47:13
and really on so many levels, it probably helped me to evolve on so
47:17
many levels. Even though I was in there, I was not at a
47:22
happy time at that space. There was a lot of turmoil going on in
47:23
my life, and there were a lot of things I didn't talk about,
47:27
and there was just a lot of things that were happening then and trying to
47:30
process that and then stepping out into this stuff. And then we were talking
47:34
over the weekend and it's like not even being I don't even care if I'm
47:38
speaking in front of people. When I used to be the kid that used
47:42
to go get into my locker, you know, Can I go the bathroom
47:45
before I have to do my speech so I could go in there and drip
47:47
chug real quick, so I could get some liquid courage to be able to
47:51
go back and have a conversation. And now I'm having conversations and I'm not
47:53
getting anything like we had great conversations, but I'm not getting the anxiety.
48:00
Oh I'll that because really, in a lot of senses, that was kind
48:04
of excitement. Even though it felt anxious and you have to go in then
48:07
and you're sweating profusely, it was like, I don't really want to do
48:08
this, and then you do it and it's like, oh, feels so
48:10
good, and then afterwards you don't get those same feelings anymore, which reminds
48:15
me of Bavis Potilla. I think she talked about if she was to do
48:20
it all over again, she would really have enjoyed that long journey to get
48:23
to the rest of the stuff, all the psychic stuff with her, the
48:28
journey knowing. But again it's a knowing you're going to be okay, that
48:32
you're because she was sick and everything, she's a psychic medium. All of
48:35
a sudden, it just she wasn't her whole life, and then all of
48:37
a sudden she was. So she had experiences as a child, but there
48:43
was a lot of things that she was talking about on that too. And
48:45
she also would drink and smoke, so she you know, she would say
48:49
something along the lines to not be so perfect that no one would basically have
48:54
a way to learn anything from you. So we want to be ourselves,
49:00
are true authentic selves. If you like Philip Kapnis, cigarette smoke, if
49:02
you want to smoke marijuana, smoke it. If you want to drink,
49:05
drink, but it's just a matter of where are you at in that space?
49:08
Are you like trying to distract yourself? Are you avoiding things from that
49:13
space? If I smoke pot or if I have a gummy or edible,
49:16
I'm going into it with an intention. I don't just do it free will
49:22
nilly willy nilly, I just go I go into it like I want clarity.
49:25
This is what I'm doing right now, this is where my thoughts are
49:28
right now. And I'm ready. I've got my fan in my paper.
49:30
Let's do this I have. I'm on a mission to for information to come
49:35
through. And I and that's why information I feel like is coming through,
49:37
because I set myself up a lot to be in that space. Automatic writing.
49:43
Automatic writing is just putting a pen to paper. And we've talked about
49:45
this before, and you've even talked about and not lifting that fan up.
49:47
But it's really just listening to the inner dialogue. And how do you practice
49:52
have a freaking dialogue with yourself, Like have conversations with yourself, talk to
49:55
yourself in your head out loud. I do it both ways. But while
49:59
we're do that work, I didn't even realize that it was paving away for
50:01
anything, but it is because it's paving away for my higher self to come
50:06
through me and give me information that I've been asking for so easily. And
50:09
then I understand it. What what I gave myself something I could understand?
50:14
What the hell is this all about? This isn't so serious, but it
50:17
isn't talk to himself. That's awesome. I talked to myself all the time.
50:25
I'm gonna say, I go or to the cat house, I'm cleaning
50:28
litter boxes and I'm talking to myself. The cat have not told me,
50:30
hey, you need to take it down a notch or anything like that,
50:35
but I mean there, they just kind of go along. They like it
50:37
when I seemed to them too. So I don't know if that's a good
50:38
thing or a bad thing. They've they've kind of been brainworshed washed. But
50:44
anyways, it is exciting and the creativity allows, uh, it allows that
50:55
connection to spirit to flow even more as we're right here right now. Because
51:00
when you're when you're creating something, you're in it like you're that's your focus.
51:06
And when you're focused on something, you don't have all that head chatter
51:09
going on or those crazy emotions all stirred up you're in this thing that is
51:15
bringing you joy. And then when we're in that, that elevates our vibrational
51:22
frequency, and then spirit connects with that. And now it's amazing the information
51:28
that comes when we're being creative. When I'm in the creative flow with my
51:32
business, I just I'm just like, I feel like something is taken over
51:37
and just doing it because I'm thinking, Wow, this is so easy,
51:40
and it's just flowing so well, and and I feel like I've been doing
51:45
it for hours when it's only been minutes, and it's like, wow,
51:51
that was so cool because it was so easy. I love it. I
51:55
love it, and that's that's just what I want to pursue. Though,
52:00
pursuing that, that's the feeling. It's not. It's not. Before I
52:05
was thinking it was all these things I had to do to channel, to
52:07
be a psychic medium, to even getting the group to come together, or
52:12
not even getting the group to come together, just presenting a space for the
52:14
group to come together. No attachments. I don't have an attachment to this
52:17
stuff anymore. So it's like it could take off and go do whatever it
52:21
wants to go, don't. It's whatever. It's a fun thing. Right,
52:25
I just don't have I have zero attachment to it, and that's freeing.
52:30
But it's I'm paying attention to the thoughts that are going on in my
52:32
head. Even while we're having the conversation, I'll notice, Oh, why
52:37
am I holding so tight in my solar plexus? Why am I Why do
52:39
I feel a little bit at tension? And there's nothing that would be any
52:43
nothing in the conversation that would create tension. So then it probably goes back
52:45
to the same thing, which I don't know for sure yet, But am
52:47
I going to do something wrong? Am I going to say something like guarded?
52:51
That's how it feels like I've got this from. I would say,
52:54
not for my throat, but for my heart, down to my solar plexus,
52:58
the belly button area, all the way down to that area. It
53:00
feels like I got to shield them. So as soon as you when you're
53:04
when we're when I'm talking or sitting for a second and you're talking, I'm
53:07
like, as soon as I felt it, I was like, okay,
53:09
I just really relaxed my body immediately, and it felt so different almost immediately,
53:14
and then it allowed more information to come through. So another way that
53:16
I've been restricting that flow and not even realizing because we've been doing it for
53:21
so long. This is what I'm talking about, people, that we can
53:23
do all this work. Honestly, we think we've come so far. And
53:27
I don't even think that anymore. I think that what you see is where
53:30
I'm at right now. This is this where I'm at. But I'm processing
53:34
these things, and this is how I'm feeling things, and this is what
53:37
I'm looking at. And honestly, I could just dropped. I could shut
53:40
up, shut down everything right this moment. I really could, and it's
53:45
not. I don't. And that feels free because I don't feel like I'm
53:49
tied to it like I used to be tied to it. So when you
53:52
have that freedom to do that, you just kind of go into it and
53:53
you play. It's more playful. I don't have an expectation of myself.
53:57
I don't have to feel like, oh God, maybe I let those people
54:00
down. They didn't get anything out of this? Or did they? Were
54:02
people really happy when they left? Oh my gosh, I said I spoke
54:06
to marijuana. Did people judge me for that? Going seriously, going through
54:09
that whole product like it might have only came up in little tidbits, but
54:14
it was only little snippets that stayed for a few seconds, and it was
54:17
like I could care less because this is me. I'm not gonna I'm not
54:22
I am going to move forward in my life from my true, authentic self
54:27
and that if that's what I feel like doing in the moment, that's what
54:29
I'm gonna do. I'm not hurting anybody, if anything, I'm setting.
54:32
Like I said, I set my intentions always high for good things to come
54:37
from that. But a lot of times I'll be like, oh, okay,
54:39
so back in the day, Oh gosh, it's only it's only ten
54:43
o'clock and we're all out in Camcoon, right. I don't think I'm going
54:45
to have It's way too early to have a drink. Well, everyone else
54:50
has have one, and I feel like I kind of want to have one,
54:52
but it's ten or eleven, you know what I mean. Whatever it
54:53
is, this whole story, Jesus Christ. If you want to do something,
54:57
freaking do it. I mean, honestly, you're not hurting anybody.
55:00
That's I'm not coming from a space of hurting someone. But it's because you
55:04
think you're going to do something wrong that you just don't do anything. You
55:07
stop living, you stop thriving, you stop everything because you're afraid of doing
55:12
something wrong. You stop everything because you're there perfectionist, And how can I
55:15
do that perfectly? And how can it not even realizing the full aspect of
55:20
everything when you're in a perfectionist state of mind. But all of that stuff,
55:23
we're going through such a huge process, and it's not to be judgmental
55:29
of ourselves in any way. And if we're judging someone else, as soon
55:30
as you catch yourself judging someone else someone else, it's like checking with yourself
55:35
real quick. Why am I judging? What's us about? Feel my body?
55:39
I'm feeling inside my body right now. I'm feeling this tension. Why
55:43
do I have it? Taking a deep breath? Because when I take that
55:45
deep breath, I'm caustiously relaxing my body. I'm just letting everything go,
55:52
letting my gut hang out, my triple muffins hanging over the top of my
55:54
pants right now. I'm just kidding right now, but I'm just saying,
55:58
I'm just being dramatic. Everything's hanging out right now, and that feels more
56:02
peaceful, And I don't care it's and when I say I don't care,
56:07
it doesn't mean that I don't care about people. I don't care to show
56:10
up that way. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. It
56:16
doesn't because as I've been talking again, it's almost like it's this conversation has
56:21
been great because now it's really helping the conversation that's not even about the conversation
56:24
that is driving me back inside because like I said to being at the conversation,
56:29
I've been focusing more. I'm going inside and I feel it, yeah,
56:32
and it doesn't right up my solar plexus almost. It's like it's kind
56:36
of trying to squeeze off. And it's like, when we're squeezing off like
56:38
that, how much are we not allowing to come in or out right?
56:43
We're not giving or receiving at that moment, it feels strange. I don't
56:46
know. I don't know about that bib. She feels like I feel like
56:49
she's holding something back from me. Well, because I am holding something back
56:52
from me without how what would feel. That's how someone else might interpret it.
56:55
It doesn't mean it's a good or thing or a bad thing. It
56:59
just means that's a feeling thing. That's what you might pick up from somebody
57:01
else, and they might be feeling really they're just kind of holding themselves back
57:06
because they don't want to do something wrong. Right. Misinterpreted, We can
57:08
misinterpreted people. So well, that's why I've always heard, yeah, go
57:14
by your first impressions, but your first impression doesn't mean always mean that person's
57:16
always going to fit that first impression. That first impression is how that person
57:22
showed up right at that moment, and where you showed up right at that
57:24
moment, from the skills that you had, from your feelers that you have
57:28
out there for your perceptions. Yeah, I mean that goes that's similar too.
57:34
You know, I'm comfortable with teaching in front of people, you know,
57:37
teaching in front of a group. I'm getting better at speaking in front
57:42
of a group, bigger groups. But you know how many times if people
57:47
they're they're amazing at their skills, they're absolutely fantastic at their skills, but
57:52
when they go sit in front of an interview and they're a ball a mess.
57:58
They can't speak clearly, they're just jumpling their words or and that,
58:02
and they're everybody said, well, you gotta make a first impression. You
58:06
got to make a good first impression. Well, companies started realizing this and
58:12
they do two, three, four interviews of what person if they seem like
58:15
they could be a good fit. But you got to get past that barrier,
58:20
right, People got to get comfortable with being able to be sitting in
58:24
front of others, being questioned, having questions asked, and feeling comfortable answering
58:32
them. So, so yeah, first impressions, it's that's how they're showing
58:37
up in that moment with somebody's having a super bad day and they're being super
58:40
bitchy. Maybe somebody's grieving and they're just super quiet and they're short because they're
58:50
dealing with their own emotions. Well, that first impression, you're gonna be
58:53
like, wow, I don't think they want to hang out with her.
58:58
It's kind of snippy, right, Well, you don't know what's going on.
59:00
And that was the way I was when I was earlier in my days.
59:05
I had so much turmoil within me that I was a bitch. I
59:09
mean, it's true, and I know that about myself. And so this
59:16
is where like coming back to the beginning of the conversation, is when you
59:21
do your own inner healing. When you're when you recognize your own traumas and
59:24
you're working through that with yourself, it's so easy to see it in others.
59:32
And we just got to know. Every person is human. Every person
59:36
has experience, every person has trauma, every person is grieving something, every
59:40
person is dealing with emotions, right, every person has something. So take
59:47
a breath, back off, send waves of grace and love, and you
59:54
know what, be sure to include yourself in that process. You're funny that
1:00:00
you said you said said in the sudden waves of grace, which I love.
1:00:05
My grandson said to me yesterday they were they were lighting off fireworks and
1:00:12
it caused a little bit of a fire, and he says, I said,
1:00:14
streams of grace, Grandma, I love it. If I've told him
1:00:21
that maybe once, maybe twice, Like it's so crazy, And I'm like,
1:00:24
that's awesome, Colton, because we I said, that has a big,
1:00:28
huge effect on things. Yeah, I said, it really does.
1:00:31
We don't always know how something's gonna play out. I said, you know,
1:00:35
you can do the same thing. So he presented, it gives me
1:00:38
goosebump. That's what makes me emotional. He presented to me an opportunity for
1:00:43
me to be like you know that stream those streams of grace. I said,
1:00:46
Now, when Dad gets mad, or Mom gets mad, or someone
1:00:50
else is upset or anything like that, or they've got something going on,
1:00:53
you can send them streams of grace. I said, name, you may
1:00:57
be mad at them right that moment, but you can still send them streams
1:00:59
of grace because I said, that takes away all the inkst that was going
1:01:02
on in the conversation that you were having before. And then I said,
1:01:07
then things start changing, And I said, then you start noticing, well,
1:01:10
Mom's sad, so that's why she's kind of being in a little bit
1:01:14
short and mean right now with his perspective of mean, or maybe dad's being
1:01:17
mean. But now I can see dad and I don't now, I know
1:01:22
this doesn't have anything to do with me right now when Dad's getting mad at
1:01:24
me and doesn't have anything to do with me, and I'm okay. So
1:01:29
it's like it presented of that conversation. It just was an opportunity for that,
1:01:32
and that happened yesterday because they say things, and that's what I tell
1:01:36
people. You may think the kids are not paying attention to you at all.
1:01:38
They'll be sitting around you and they'll they'll be I've watched the kids.
1:01:43
I've watched I've been witnessed to a lot of things, and I've seen conversations,
1:01:46
heard conversations, and then kids are playing with their friends next to him
1:01:52
and they're they're nowhere. You don't even think they're even paying attention to anything,
1:01:55
and then they repeat things back to words for a word, they heard
1:02:00
everything. Yep. So it's it's just being aware. But there's all these
1:02:05
opportunities. So that's again, So if I was going to stop right now,
1:02:08
what would I notice about myself? A couple of things. I have
1:02:12
some passion towards the kids, and I have passion towards the information that that
1:02:15
information and doesn't mean necessarily I'm not going to go, Okay, well maybe
1:02:20
I should go work with kids, or I should go do this. No,
1:02:22
I'm going to continue being myself and go on this journey and see where
1:02:24
it takes me. Because I'm growing, I don't have to label it anything.
1:02:28
I'm just gonna flow. And when you have someone that's coming in and
1:02:30
just flowing, well that means that I'm going to be in my confidence because
1:02:34
I'm just going to be mean if you don't like me, that has nothing
1:02:37
to do with me. So why should I be anything but confident? Why
1:02:40
why shouldn't I be anything but my true, authentic and loving self when I
1:02:44
walk into a space, because they're going to love me or not. There's
1:02:47
more of an opportunity for people to love your true authentic self when you show
1:02:51
up like that. There's people that you'll meet that's like everybody just loves them
1:02:55
and you don't even know why they love them until you get to know them,
1:02:59
or you're the conversations and you get to flow or just the energy of
1:03:01
everything, then you recognize why because that person is giving you permission to be
1:03:07
yourself. That person decided to be themselves. It's awesome. And just by
1:03:15
just by planting those seeds in your grandson and having those conversation, Look how
1:03:20
many people that's going to impact as he gets older? Oh my god,
1:03:23
because there was there was four of us in the room, right, just
1:03:27
four of us in this room. Yeah, so it's gonna be it's gonna
1:03:32
have that ripple effect, probably greater than you would ever imagine it to be,
1:03:38
just by having that one conversation. But that's the stuff that right,
1:03:44
there's what I live for. That's why you just kind of really hit the
1:03:47
nail on the head. Really, That's why the group coming together is awesome
1:03:51
because it can take off everywhere, but it has such a such potential for
1:03:55
a ripple effect to change the world in such a magnificent way. Yeah,
1:04:01
that we're completely open to possibilities instead of limited. You know, I've seen
1:04:05
things on TikTok. We talked about TikTok because it's got some valuable stuff.
1:04:09
But they showed a vehicle I think it was from nineteen sixty seven or somewhere
1:04:13
around them that had the capability to do a lot of things that our newer
1:04:15
vehicles can do now, but that it never made it out. Why because
1:04:18
somebody else wanted to have power and control over that, so they didn't allow
1:04:23
that to come out, and because it might have stopped other things from making
1:04:28
money. But the thing is, when they stopped at that's the same thing
1:04:30
as our body. When our body tightens up, we're stopping that flow.
1:04:33
And the thing is we've had the knowledge flowing to us for so long.
1:04:38
What if it was being looked at differently? That information that was flowing in
1:04:41
with that vehicle in nineteen sixty seven. Look how far advanced we would be.
1:04:45
We would be flying around in our vehicles right now. We would be
1:04:48
what the conversation we have here all the time is. It's a vibrational frequency.
1:04:53
If you can get to the place where you can tie into a frequency,
1:04:57
then you can be right there. It's not a matter of getting in
1:05:00
to a vehicle with driving anywhere. It's a matter of getting beyond the duality
1:05:04
and knowing that we can go to a place just by matching a vibrational frequency.
1:05:10
We don't have to get a beat. But we don't even need I
1:05:12
don't need the truck. I don't need any of the vehicles. It's fun
1:05:15
to take the drives though occasionally really because you can go see the trees and
1:05:17
take the time, you know, walk around. Once you're at the space
1:05:20
you want to be at, you can rent whatever. But we should be
1:05:23
able to and I think we can. It's just a matter of time that
1:05:28
some people could wrap their minds around it, and other people will be like,
1:05:30
yeah, those are the conversations we have. Those conversations that opens up
1:05:33
the space when that conversation's open, where nobody's holding anything back and out of
1:05:39
fear or lack or losing control. So when we're in that space, we
1:05:45
can enhance and grow from that. So everything that's presented to us, someone
1:05:47
else can look at and say, I can make it better. I can
1:05:50
do something a little bit different. And that's been restricted for a while because
1:05:54
they didn't want the power in our hands in a lot of ways. But
1:05:57
now we have too much outlets, not too much, so many outlets that
1:06:02
we have available to us that we can explore for information on Google, YouTube,
1:06:08
TikTok, there's God, there's so many people out there right now that
1:06:13
if you're looking for somebody, you can find somebody that speak in your language
1:06:16
that you will understand. That gets you from point A to point B and
1:06:19
then next thing you know, you're at Z. This is the whole journey,
1:06:25
all of it. But we gotta it's not control, it's not lack,
1:06:29
it's not any of those things. It's being your true authentic self.
1:06:31
And how can I be that way? It's by recognizing as soon as my
1:06:34
body that I'm tightening up in my solar plexus, and as soon as I
1:06:38
do that, I open up again and then more information flows in. So
1:06:42
now I'm even seeing with this conversation and how I've been restricting myself, even
1:06:45
with these ones and desires that I know have been pursuing me. But I
1:06:48
just during this conversation, I let it all go. It's like, show
1:06:54
up if you want to show up. If that's how we decided to show
1:06:56
up this time, Okay, let's just have fun. Yeah, so good,
1:07:02
such a great conversation. I love it. I love that we come
1:07:04
together each week and have these conversations, and of course we we our desires
1:07:11
that it's helping other people. So spread the word. If you know somebody
1:07:15
who could benefit from listening to this or do any of our videos, then
1:07:20
share us. Let people know we exists. Be the ripple. Be the
1:07:27
ripple. So thank you so much for hanging out with us. Tea time
1:07:30
with Amy and Bev. Do you have any final words? I've had a
1:07:34
lot of final words. That was plenty. She's like, go watch the
1:07:38
video, go on back. Yeah, we've already said so much. All
1:07:46
right, my friends, make it a great week. And if you're celebrating
1:07:50
well today, I mean the video is not coming out until Thursday, so
1:07:55
I hope you had an amazing celebration. If you're watching the replay of UM
1:08:00
celebrating our Country and UM we'll see you next time. Bye.