Latest / The Living Freed Podcast / Caitlin Phillips Part 2: Joy, Goals and Endgame
Transcript
- WEBVTT 00:00:20.310 --> 00:00:24.089 Hello, happy Thursday and welcome back to another 00:00:24.089 --> 00:00:27.489 episode of the Living Freed podcast. Thank you 00:00:27.489 --> 00:00:31.379 so much for tuning in. You know, I usually start 00:00:31.379 --> 00:00:33.719 off these episodes, I'm like, y 'all, I'm so 00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:37.320 tired. But I'm not tired today. I slept in until 00:00:37.320 --> 00:00:42.399 like 7 .45, crazy. And then turned on like a 00:00:42.399 --> 00:00:45.119 little cartoon to watch from like when I was 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:50.240 a kid. Chilled out in bed. Got up, made my vanilla 00:00:50.240 --> 00:00:52.820 latte because yes, we're back on the latte grind. 00:00:52.979 --> 00:00:56.770 Let me tell y 'all. I was watching TikTok and 00:00:56.770 --> 00:01:00.070 this girl was like, listen, if you are deficient 00:01:00.070 --> 00:01:03.929 in iron, which I am, you shouldn't be drinking 00:01:03.929 --> 00:01:07.670 matcha because it's something about how the herbs 00:01:07.670 --> 00:01:13.469 lapse with and like in matcha counteracts the 00:01:13.469 --> 00:01:15.989 iron you take in naturally through veggies, which 00:01:15.989 --> 00:01:18.450 I eat a lot of veggies. I'm not much of a meat 00:01:18.450 --> 00:01:22.450 eater. So and then it can cause you to be more 00:01:22.450 --> 00:01:25.129 tired because hello. You're not getting your 00:01:25.129 --> 00:01:27.310 iron. You're cold all the time, which I have 00:01:27.310 --> 00:01:30.349 been. And hair loss, which I've already not had 00:01:30.349 --> 00:01:32.569 great hair my whole life. So we're trying to 00:01:32.569 --> 00:01:39.189 avoid that. So now I am drinking coffee most 00:01:39.189 --> 00:01:43.849 days, or I'm trying to. And then I am going to 00:01:43.849 --> 00:01:46.150 mostly drink matcha only when I'm on my period. 00:01:46.209 --> 00:01:48.349 Because you really shouldn't have coffee when 00:01:48.349 --> 00:01:51.140 you're on your period. It's not good for your 00:01:51.140 --> 00:01:53.680 hormones. So yeah, that's what we're doing. You 00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:57.620 know, life is hard in that way. Trying to figure 00:01:57.620 --> 00:01:58.879 out what you're supposed to do and what you're 00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:00.480 not supposed to do, everything's going to kill 00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:03.180 you. Everything's affecting you in one negative 00:02:03.180 --> 00:02:05.879 way, but also has its positives. So you kind 00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:07.659 of just got to go with the flow. So right now 00:02:07.659 --> 00:02:11.139 the flow is more coffee, less matcha. Granted, 00:02:11.139 --> 00:02:13.120 knowing me, that could change next week where 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:17.080 it's like all tea, no coffee, some matcha, no 00:02:17.080 --> 00:02:22.509 matcha, all coffee. all matcha no coffee I don't 00:02:22.509 --> 00:02:26.229 know we'll see we'll see so anyways that's the 00:02:26.229 --> 00:02:29.569 update with that and yeah so oh what I was saying 00:02:29.569 --> 00:02:33.830 was wow because I'm not that tired but I will 00:02:33.830 --> 00:02:38.449 say I was exhausted Monday because I was flying 00:02:38.449 --> 00:02:40.689 out of Fort Lauderdale coming back from Serena's 00:02:40.689 --> 00:02:44.310 birthday and y 'all My flight got delayed so 00:02:44.310 --> 00:02:48.710 many times. I did not land until 1045 at night 00:02:48.710 --> 00:02:51.750 in Raleigh. Then me and my mom, bless her, she 00:02:51.750 --> 00:02:53.629 does not stay up late. She picked me up from 00:02:53.629 --> 00:02:56.449 the airport, had to drive back to Wake Forest. 00:02:56.650 --> 00:03:00.330 I got in my car and drove from Wake Forest back 00:03:00.330 --> 00:03:03.990 to Wilmington, North Carolina. And I needed gas. 00:03:04.229 --> 00:03:06.789 My angel, the mother, filled up my car with gas 00:03:06.789 --> 00:03:09.389 because that's what Italian mothers do. They 00:03:09.389 --> 00:03:12.909 take care of their kids. And if she hadn't done 00:03:12.909 --> 00:03:14.650 that one, I would have just had to run out of 00:03:14.650 --> 00:03:16.710 gas on the way home because I was not stopping 00:03:16.710 --> 00:03:18.870 at a gas station that late at night, not trying 00:03:18.870 --> 00:03:22.469 to be murdered. And two, that just would have 00:03:22.469 --> 00:03:24.789 been scary. It just would have been scary. So 00:03:24.789 --> 00:03:28.189 anyways. So I went to Florida for Serena's birthday. 00:03:28.270 --> 00:03:30.330 Didn't get home till 2 a .m. But the birthday, 00:03:30.389 --> 00:03:32.710 I hope she had a great time because I had a great 00:03:32.710 --> 00:03:37.430 time. I landed Thursday evening. We went to Chick 00:03:37.430 --> 00:03:39.310 -fil -A and then straight to church because they 00:03:39.310 --> 00:03:41.550 have like a prayer night thing. And she said 00:03:41.550 --> 00:03:43.150 we were only going to hang out for like 10 minutes 00:03:43.150 --> 00:03:45.689 to pick up her Bible and leave. Obviously, that 00:03:45.689 --> 00:03:47.669 didn't happen. We were there for like a full 00:03:47.669 --> 00:03:50.009 hour, even though we were already late to it. 00:03:50.629 --> 00:03:53.530 And then I don't remember what we did after. 00:03:53.610 --> 00:03:56.580 I think we went. No, then we went and got Froyo 00:03:56.580 --> 00:03:59.819 because, you guys, I've been craving Froyo for 00:03:59.819 --> 00:04:03.039 over a month now. And every time I pass the Froyo 00:04:03.039 --> 00:04:04.759 joint in Wilmington, I'm like, oh, I should pop 00:04:04.759 --> 00:04:06.319 in. And I'm like, that would be weird. Getting 00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:08.740 Froyo by myself, there's a lot of things I'll 00:04:08.740 --> 00:04:11.060 do by myself. I just feel like Froyo is a group 00:04:11.060 --> 00:04:15.039 activity, not a single person activity. If it's 00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:17.519 single for you, that's great. Love that. Not 00:04:17.519 --> 00:04:20.139 my thing. I just cannot get dessert by myself. 00:04:20.220 --> 00:04:24.490 That would be weird. So we got Froyo. chatted 00:04:24.490 --> 00:04:28.310 a lot then went home stayed up chatting more 00:04:28.310 --> 00:04:30.709 she was like I have to get up early I said I 00:04:30.709 --> 00:04:34.689 wake up early and then we kept chatting yeah 00:04:34.689 --> 00:04:41.329 got up went for like a two four mile walk I don't 00:04:41.329 --> 00:04:42.870 know the coffee shop was supposed to be a mile 00:04:42.870 --> 00:04:45.970 and a half away it was not it was more than a 00:04:45.970 --> 00:04:48.009 mile and a half away it was over two miles away 00:04:48.009 --> 00:04:50.500 and then we had to walk back And then we got 00:04:50.500 --> 00:04:53.079 ready and went to the spa. Spa was great. I got 00:04:53.079 --> 00:04:57.199 my toes done. I did. And then her boyfriend texted 00:04:57.199 --> 00:04:59.779 me and he was like, hey, guys, for dinner, it's 00:04:59.779 --> 00:05:02.360 going to be a death to the 20s. So we're all 00:05:02.360 --> 00:05:06.420 black. Y 'all, I did not plan an all black outfit. 00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:11.199 I planned a cutesy cocktail attire outfit that 00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:13.439 did not have any black in it. So then we went 00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:16.279 shopping, couldn't find anything. But you know 00:05:16.279 --> 00:05:18.560 what your girl was thinking and what she was 00:05:18.560 --> 00:05:20.500 thinking when she packed was this shirt is really 00:05:20.500 --> 00:05:23.540 cute. I'm going to pack it just so I have it 00:05:23.540 --> 00:05:26.819 just in case. And it was a black shirt. It was. 00:05:26.980 --> 00:05:28.860 So I just wear the black shirt with the brown 00:05:28.860 --> 00:05:31.100 skirt and some heels and it was perfect. Everything 00:05:31.100 --> 00:05:34.899 was fine. Dinner was fantastic. We went to a 00:05:34.899 --> 00:05:37.600 Brazilian steakhouse. Well, my mom says I've 00:05:37.600 --> 00:05:39.439 been before. I don't remember. I believe her. 00:05:39.459 --> 00:05:43.069 She would know I had to be a child. um but still 00:05:43.069 --> 00:05:45.889 thoroughly enjoyed that i did eat the salad and 00:05:45.889 --> 00:05:47.730 one of the girls looked at me and said that's 00:05:47.730 --> 00:05:50.750 crazy have you heard what's happening with lettuce 00:05:50.750 --> 00:05:54.110 and i said yes babe and best believe i'm gonna 00:05:54.110 --> 00:05:56.550 be praying over every single piece on my plate 00:05:56.550 --> 00:06:00.129 and i did and you know what i didn't get sick 00:06:00.129 --> 00:06:04.500 because the lord protects yeah In that sense. 00:06:04.660 --> 00:06:08.579 So I was protected from my salad also. I was 00:06:08.579 --> 00:06:10.819 just protected from the consequences of my own 00:06:10.819 --> 00:06:14.639 actions in that case, I would say. Not even necessarily 00:06:14.639 --> 00:06:17.420 that the Lord was protecting me from salad. He 00:06:17.420 --> 00:06:20.500 was like, she's stupid. But also, you guys, I've 00:06:20.500 --> 00:06:23.100 been craving a salad like crazy. I just really 00:06:23.100 --> 00:06:26.360 wanted a salad. I haven't had a salad in so long. 00:06:26.980 --> 00:06:30.600 So because of... the thing going around I don't 00:06:30.600 --> 00:06:32.420 even know what people are calling it a virus 00:06:32.420 --> 00:06:36.060 I don't know a disease I really don't know so 00:06:36.060 --> 00:06:40.899 got the salad we came out stronger in the end 00:06:40.899 --> 00:06:44.259 we're fine then we went to church Sunday went 00:06:44.259 --> 00:06:47.160 to lunch with her boyfriend who is always with 00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:50.100 us I'm just kidding he's fine he can hang out 00:06:50.100 --> 00:06:52.480 whenever he wants we also went to the beach let 00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:56.199 me tell you okay here's the thing Wilmington 00:06:56.199 --> 00:07:00.180 sand does it get hot yes It does get hot. Does 00:07:00.180 --> 00:07:02.279 it get hot where little children are crying because 00:07:02.279 --> 00:07:04.639 they're walking through the sand? Not that I've 00:07:04.639 --> 00:07:07.579 ever witnessed. So I don't bring my shoes to 00:07:07.579 --> 00:07:10.379 the beach. I used to in California just because 00:07:10.379 --> 00:07:12.439 that was like what you did. In Wilmington, you 00:07:12.439 --> 00:07:15.680 don't really do that. So I didn't bring my tennis 00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:18.560 shoes onto the beach while we're sitting there. 00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:24.720 And this child starts to scream, crying like 00:07:24.720 --> 00:07:27.939 he was bitten by a shark or stung by a jellyfish 00:07:27.939 --> 00:07:30.560 or I don't even know what. He's stepping on lava. 00:07:31.180 --> 00:07:34.220 And I look and I go and I see his big sister, 00:07:34.300 --> 00:07:36.459 who's not that much bigger, pick him up. And 00:07:36.459 --> 00:07:38.199 his dad's like, carry him to the blanket, carry 00:07:38.199 --> 00:07:39.720 him to the blanket. So she carries him over. 00:07:39.800 --> 00:07:42.180 You can tell her feet's hot. And I think, oh, 00:07:42.220 --> 00:07:45.959 no, I've made a grave mistake. I should have 00:07:45.959 --> 00:07:48.519 brought my shoes down. If that child is crying. 00:07:49.149 --> 00:07:51.970 over how hot the sand is. And yes, I get children 00:07:51.970 --> 00:07:54.189 are dramatic, but children don't really feel 00:07:54.189 --> 00:07:55.829 temperatures. Like have you ever been outside 00:07:55.829 --> 00:07:57.569 with like a niece or a nephew and it's a million 00:07:57.569 --> 00:08:00.509 degrees and they're sweating buckets, but they 00:08:00.509 --> 00:08:02.569 have no idea that they're hot. Like they don't 00:08:02.569 --> 00:08:04.230 clock that they're hot. They're heavy breathing. 00:08:04.389 --> 00:08:06.290 Their face is fully flushed. They haven't had 00:08:06.290 --> 00:08:08.370 water in an hour. And you're telling them like, 00:08:08.389 --> 00:08:10.290 you need to go inside and cool down. And they're 00:08:10.290 --> 00:08:12.129 like, no, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. Like kids don't 00:08:12.129 --> 00:08:16.259 feel temperatures. They just don't. So That was 00:08:16.259 --> 00:08:18.220 my warning sign. And I just thought, I've made 00:08:18.220 --> 00:08:20.019 a grave mistake. What am I supposed to do now? 00:08:22.319 --> 00:08:25.240 We made it out alive. We're good. That's all 00:08:25.240 --> 00:08:27.660 I'll say. We're good. We figured it out. Serena's 00:08:27.660 --> 00:08:29.519 a champ. Her boyfriend was nice enough to help. 00:08:29.639 --> 00:08:31.800 Like, it was a thing. But we got out. And I will 00:08:31.800 --> 00:08:35.039 never, ever, ever not wear sneakers to the beach 00:08:35.039 --> 00:08:37.279 now. That's going to be my new thing. And also, 00:08:37.320 --> 00:08:40.019 I need to buy specific shoes for the beach because 00:08:40.019 --> 00:08:44.259 I got rid of my old ones. And I forgot to do 00:08:44.259 --> 00:08:47.029 that. So I'm going to do that. yeah okay so that's 00:08:47.029 --> 00:08:50.049 40 with serena so fun loved it and now i have 00:08:50.049 --> 00:08:52.250 to start prepping to say goodbye to people in 00:08:52.250 --> 00:08:55.490 wilmington and i'm so sad i was crying yesterday 00:08:55.490 --> 00:08:57.990 in the car thinking about saying goodbye to my 00:08:57.990 --> 00:09:02.529 people and then i cried at work thinking about 00:09:02.529 --> 00:09:04.809 it and then i got back in the car again and cried 00:09:04.809 --> 00:09:08.110 more um we're doing the going away party this 00:09:08.110 --> 00:09:10.710 sunday which i've never had a going away party 00:09:11.340 --> 00:09:13.200 this is going to be different and weird and I'm 00:09:13.200 --> 00:09:14.879 probably going to cry a lot so I won't wear makeup 00:09:14.879 --> 00:09:19.399 to that I don't think um but yeah saying goodbye 00:09:19.399 --> 00:09:21.559 to people is hard you know like and the thing 00:09:21.559 --> 00:09:24.299 is is people move every single day that's a normal 00:09:24.299 --> 00:09:27.480 thing to do but it doesn't make it any less hard 00:09:27.480 --> 00:09:30.820 and then I have bible study tonight and that 00:09:30.820 --> 00:09:33.519 is not our last one so this is our second to 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:35.820 last and I have to say bye to people there too 00:09:35.820 --> 00:09:39.279 and I'm sad I love my bible study girls I really 00:09:39.279 --> 00:09:43.139 do If you're not part of a Bible study, I recommend 00:09:43.139 --> 00:09:45.320 getting a part of a Bible study. But it's kind 00:09:45.320 --> 00:09:48.639 of like therapy in the sense of not every therapist 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:51.700 is a fit for you. So not every Bible study is 00:09:51.700 --> 00:09:54.220 a fit for you. And it's about community. It's 00:09:54.220 --> 00:09:56.519 not about just reading the Bible and showing 00:09:56.519 --> 00:09:58.820 up every week. It's about the community and the 00:09:58.820 --> 00:10:00.360 people that you trust. And they're going to like 00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:03.639 sharpen you like iron sharpens iron. So I recommend 00:10:03.639 --> 00:10:06.320 find a Bible study. Try out a lot of Bible studies. 00:10:06.519 --> 00:10:11.330 Be a Bible. Bible study hopper until you find 00:10:11.330 --> 00:10:13.169 the people that you click with and you like the 00:10:13.169 --> 00:10:15.809 flow of the study. Just do it. It's so important. 00:10:15.909 --> 00:10:18.190 It's so good. And speaking of Bible studies, 00:10:18.330 --> 00:10:21.350 I've been reading Psalms. And let me also just 00:10:21.350 --> 00:10:27.830 say in reading Psalms that it is just if you're 00:10:27.830 --> 00:10:29.590 tired of reading the Bible, if you're just over 00:10:29.590 --> 00:10:31.509 it, like sometimes I think I'm still reading 00:10:31.509 --> 00:10:33.789 this. I've read this a million times front to 00:10:33.789 --> 00:10:36.509 back, back to front. Why am I still reading this? 00:10:36.610 --> 00:10:38.730 I feel like. I know exactly what they're going 00:10:38.730 --> 00:10:40.450 to say next because I've read it so many times. 00:10:40.710 --> 00:10:43.750 Just read Psalms. Psalms has been like filling 00:10:43.750 --> 00:10:45.950 up my cup lately. I know last week I was like, 00:10:45.990 --> 00:10:48.090 oh, I'm crying over whatever David said because 00:10:48.090 --> 00:10:50.590 I'm an empath. But Psalms really do be filling 00:10:50.590 --> 00:10:54.690 up my cup. And it's an easy read. And it just 00:10:54.690 --> 00:10:57.450 kind of, yeah, there's something to relate to 00:10:57.450 --> 00:11:00.710 in each one. Sometimes I'm like, oh, that's a 00:11:00.710 --> 00:11:04.990 bar. Other times I'm like, wow, I'm crying. And 00:11:04.990 --> 00:11:08.409 then sometimes I think. That's so true. And I 00:11:08.409 --> 00:11:11.850 think clock it. And then I have definitely put 00:11:11.850 --> 00:11:17.169 LOL in my Bible with a pin next to some of them 00:11:17.169 --> 00:11:20.889 because I think LOL, that's so funny. So yeah, 00:11:20.929 --> 00:11:22.529 if you don't know what to read in the Bible right 00:11:22.529 --> 00:11:25.809 now, I know everyone's like, start with the Gospels. 00:11:25.809 --> 00:11:28.029 If you're a Christian and you've read the Gospels, 00:11:28.090 --> 00:11:30.690 yes, I'm reading Matthew right now because I 00:11:30.690 --> 00:11:33.049 just feel the call to read about Jesus's life 00:11:33.049 --> 00:11:35.649 right now. But also read Psalms. It's so good. 00:11:36.090 --> 00:11:38.870 And there's a lot of foreshadowing in Psalms 00:11:38.870 --> 00:11:42.169 of what Jesus is going to do in the future, which 00:11:42.169 --> 00:11:45.029 I have never really realized until now. So yeah, 00:11:45.149 --> 00:11:48.350 read Psalms. It's great. Okay, let's just switch 00:11:48.350 --> 00:11:51.269 gears a little bit. What is in? Let's talk about 00:11:51.269 --> 00:11:54.090 what's in. What is in is packing. I was up till 00:11:54.090 --> 00:11:57.389 a little past midnight from anxiety. So I just 00:11:57.389 --> 00:11:59.110 started going through things and packing once 00:11:59.110 --> 00:12:02.769 again. And I need to buy boxes and tape and the 00:12:02.769 --> 00:12:05.730 cushy stuff for mirrors and stuff. everything. 00:12:06.169 --> 00:12:09.269 So packing, simple, simple enough. I have this 00:12:09.269 --> 00:12:10.950 giant TV. I've got to figure out what I'm going 00:12:10.950 --> 00:12:15.350 to do with. And then what is out is rainy days. 00:12:15.409 --> 00:12:19.590 Thank God the rainy days are gone in Wilmington. 00:12:19.610 --> 00:12:22.190 I think it's supposed to be sunny all week. And 00:12:22.190 --> 00:12:25.309 I'm so hopeful because I'm just sick and tired 00:12:25.309 --> 00:12:29.269 of rainy days, y 'all. I can't. You need, I need 00:12:29.269 --> 00:12:34.990 sunshine. I'm like. solar power operated. You 00:12:34.990 --> 00:12:37.830 know, if I sit out in the sun, it's not, I always 00:12:37.830 --> 00:12:39.990 tell people I'm not in the sun to get tan. I'm 00:12:39.990 --> 00:12:42.049 wearing sunscreen. Usually I'm wearing a hat. 00:12:42.110 --> 00:12:44.269 Like I'm not trying to get tan, but I'm just 00:12:44.269 --> 00:12:48.269 recharging my battery through one, being grounded 00:12:48.269 --> 00:12:50.429 by touching the earth, but two, like the sunshine, 00:12:50.529 --> 00:12:53.850 the sunshine just recharges me and it's something 00:12:53.850 --> 00:12:56.509 special and therapeutic. So with all the rainy 00:12:56.509 --> 00:13:00.750 days, it really threw off my groove. And I'm 00:13:00.750 --> 00:13:02.529 glad the sun is out. I'm going to the pool with 00:13:02.529 --> 00:13:06.049 Abby and it's going to be fantastic. It's going 00:13:06.049 --> 00:13:11.870 to be a good day. So anyways, this episode is 00:13:11.870 --> 00:13:15.309 part two of Caitlin. It's not super long. I feel 00:13:15.309 --> 00:13:18.350 like it's as long as me rambling. But we did 00:13:18.350 --> 00:13:21.230 have a couple technical difficulties, as I said 00:13:21.230 --> 00:13:24.389 previously, in part one. But I do hope you enjoy 00:13:24.389 --> 00:13:26.610 part two. I hope you get something out of it. 00:13:27.840 --> 00:13:29.720 And that you just have grace with the technical 00:13:29.720 --> 00:13:32.960 difficulties that we had in between because they 00:13:32.960 --> 00:13:35.220 are there. I'm not even going to lie. I'm not 00:13:35.220 --> 00:13:37.659 even going to like, you know, make it seem less 00:13:37.659 --> 00:13:40.519 than what it is. They're there. But she says 00:13:40.519 --> 00:13:42.559 some really solid stuff that even listening back 00:13:42.559 --> 00:13:45.960 to it months and months later, I was like, wow, 00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:47.879 that's really encouraging. I really needed that. 00:13:48.299 --> 00:13:51.600 So when we enter in, it is a rough start. It's 00:13:51.600 --> 00:13:53.399 like straight jumping into the next question. 00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:56.580 Sorry about that. Hope you're good with it because 00:13:56.580 --> 00:14:00.080 it's happening either way. But yeah. Okay. Let's 00:14:00.080 --> 00:14:02.340 dive in to part two with Caitlin Phillips in 00:14:02.340 --> 00:14:07.820 this week's episode. What are some things that 00:14:07.820 --> 00:14:10.059 you're thankful for that you've realized later 00:14:10.059 --> 00:14:15.500 on being single? I could go into this. Maybe 00:14:15.500 --> 00:14:21.000 your top three. I know you have a starfish on 00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:23.490 your bed, so you probably really loved. Keeping 00:14:23.490 --> 00:14:25.429 your bed to yourself. Okay. Here's a light thing. 00:14:26.049 --> 00:14:29.750 Yeah. Love my bed. I do think I'm going to struggle 00:14:29.750 --> 00:14:31.169 with that one day when I get married. I'm going 00:14:31.169 --> 00:14:34.169 to be like. You need a California king. No, for 00:14:34.169 --> 00:14:37.610 real. I'm like, we may need a Cali king. But 00:14:37.610 --> 00:14:43.490 I. Oh, man. Three things that I realized later. 00:14:44.889 --> 00:14:47.169 So me and a friend used to pray for our husbands 00:14:47.169 --> 00:14:49.590 weekly, you know, for a solid like two years 00:14:49.590 --> 00:14:51.149 straight. And I think some of the prayers we 00:14:51.149 --> 00:14:55.149 used to pray. You know, for our men, I think 00:14:55.149 --> 00:14:56.889 about this a lot. I'm like, yeah, I know what 00:14:56.889 --> 00:14:59.909 marriage I prayed for. So it's OK if it takes 00:14:59.909 --> 00:15:03.590 time to cook. Yeah. You know, and I I would say 00:15:03.590 --> 00:15:07.710 that perspective has has walking with friends 00:15:07.710 --> 00:15:09.929 through marriages or walking with people who 00:15:09.929 --> 00:15:11.950 have been married since their early 20s. And, 00:15:11.990 --> 00:15:14.990 you know, seeing friends struggle and wrestle 00:15:14.990 --> 00:15:17.289 and really I'm like, OK, marriage is not easy. 00:15:17.750 --> 00:15:21.000 No. You know, it's beautiful. but it's not easy 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:22.899 and it does make a difference if you know yourself 00:15:22.899 --> 00:15:24.840 or not you know it does make a difference if 00:15:24.840 --> 00:15:29.240 um I would say for me one thing I'm really grateful 00:15:29.240 --> 00:15:31.779 for and I think this is the Lord's doing to a 00:15:31.779 --> 00:15:34.100 lot of women in my family and in my life have 00:15:34.100 --> 00:15:39.779 had children very very young and that's there 00:15:39.779 --> 00:15:41.860 is a difference in motherhood when motherhood 00:15:41.860 --> 00:15:46.580 is thrust upon you and it's survival based versus 00:15:46.580 --> 00:15:52.539 when motherhood is and you're ready for it. And 00:15:52.539 --> 00:15:56.179 I would say that by the time the Lord deems it 00:15:56.179 --> 00:16:00.299 so, should Lord willing, if he deems it so, that 00:16:00.299 --> 00:16:03.919 I become a mother, I will be ready for it. And 00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:07.279 I can say that pretty confidently. I do a lot 00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:11.899 with children. I work a lot with kids. That is 00:16:11.899 --> 00:16:14.500 something, like motherhood, I think, in my early 00:16:14.500 --> 00:16:20.580 years, even as a teen, not necessarily used to 00:16:20.580 --> 00:16:23.460 terrify me, but I was like, would I, the question 00:16:23.460 --> 00:16:25.840 of would I be a good mom really plagued me a 00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:29.940 lot. Yeah. Um, now I'm like, I like, I know who 00:16:29.940 --> 00:16:32.700 I am. Like, I'm like, no, no, no, we're going 00:16:32.700 --> 00:16:34.419 to rock motherhood. It's going to be okay. Yeah. 00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:36.740 And that's not to say mom's out there. That's 00:16:36.740 --> 00:16:38.879 not to say that I don't like motherhood is hard. 00:16:39.100 --> 00:16:40.620 Yeah. You know, I'm not saying it wouldn't be 00:16:40.620 --> 00:16:44.179 hard for me. I know it would be hard, but there 00:16:44.179 --> 00:16:47.259 is a difference when you are a young 20 something. 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:53.039 Yes. when like 20 years old, 19 years old, you've 00:16:53.039 --> 00:16:55.279 gotten pregnant by accident and you're like, 00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:57.580 oh, I'm going to be a mom. Yeah. Like it's almost 00:16:57.580 --> 00:17:00.740 like this panic, like, oh man, you know, and 00:17:00.740 --> 00:17:02.740 that has happened a lot in my family. So I am 00:17:02.740 --> 00:17:06.440 thankful to the Lord that that is not my story. 00:17:06.559 --> 00:17:10.460 Yeah. And that my children will receive a mom 00:17:10.460 --> 00:17:13.779 who will have been waiting patiently and have 00:17:13.779 --> 00:17:16.579 been praying for them for a long time. Yes. You 00:17:16.579 --> 00:17:20.190 know, I think. You know, as the Lord brings me 00:17:20.190 --> 00:17:23.930 at more at ease in my skin, I pray that that 00:17:23.930 --> 00:17:27.509 patience and that love just kind of overflows 00:17:27.509 --> 00:17:31.289 onto my children. Yeah. You know, versus this 00:17:31.289 --> 00:17:34.589 checked out, not emotionally there, you know, 00:17:34.589 --> 00:17:36.869 version of myself. That's like in survival mode. 00:17:36.990 --> 00:17:39.670 And so. And that's not to say like other people 00:17:39.670 --> 00:17:41.910 are like that their 20s, but you at your 20s. 00:17:41.910 --> 00:17:45.089 Right. Say 2021. Yeah. That's also not to say. 00:17:45.109 --> 00:17:47.329 I was like, I realize this sounds really critical. 00:17:47.450 --> 00:17:51.119 That's. this is also like kind of my story. That's 00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:53.160 also not to say that the grace of God does not 00:17:53.160 --> 00:17:55.779 cover those mothers who are in survival, you 00:17:55.779 --> 00:17:58.059 know? Cause it was my mom. Right. That was my 00:17:58.059 --> 00:18:00.619 mom. Yeah. So, and we turned out okay. Yeah. 00:18:00.779 --> 00:18:03.539 You know, like it's not to say that your moms 00:18:03.539 --> 00:18:06.529 don't love you, you know? But it's I think it's 00:18:06.529 --> 00:18:08.910 a preparedness. Well, and it's like there's it's 00:18:08.910 --> 00:18:10.849 their first time on this earth, too. And imagine 00:18:10.849 --> 00:18:13.670 you at 20 and it's your first time here versus 00:18:13.670 --> 00:18:15.910 you at 30. I remember seeing a picture of my 00:18:15.910 --> 00:18:18.509 mom. Yeah. When she was pregnant with my older 00:18:18.509 --> 00:18:21.509 sister. Yeah. And I was the same age. And I remember 00:18:21.509 --> 00:18:24.769 my mom was a very young mom, fam. And I remember 00:18:24.769 --> 00:18:27.650 being like, oh, I was like, how did she do that? 00:18:27.690 --> 00:18:31.190 Yeah. Same. I just was blown away. I was like, 00:18:31.329 --> 00:18:36.289 I don't I mean, and I admire. the hell out of 00:18:36.289 --> 00:18:39.750 my mom like strong woman right there and she 00:18:39.750 --> 00:18:42.089 really was i think the start of the turn of like 00:18:42.089 --> 00:18:45.910 some generational tides she really did a good 00:18:45.910 --> 00:18:49.009 job with with the hand that she was dealt like 00:18:49.009 --> 00:18:54.130 yes and um think there are things my mom grew 00:18:54.130 --> 00:18:58.190 up seeing and she grew up way too young um because 00:18:58.190 --> 00:19:01.049 she had to and there are things that she went 00:19:01.049 --> 00:19:03.740 through That I got to say, I never went through 00:19:03.740 --> 00:19:07.400 in my childhood. And I'm, my mom, I think with 00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:09.380 the tools that she was given, she really did 00:19:09.380 --> 00:19:12.980 a great job. And so this is not a harp on young 00:19:12.980 --> 00:19:15.859 mothers out there. No. You're doing this, you're 00:19:15.859 --> 00:19:18.319 doing the dang thing. This is just, my story 00:19:18.319 --> 00:19:21.000 is I did not get married young or, and I did 00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:24.680 not have children young. So in the waiting, I 00:19:24.680 --> 00:19:28.829 am grateful that. You know, and that's to say 00:19:28.829 --> 00:19:31.430 I wanted kids. Yeah. I've always wanted kids. 00:19:31.529 --> 00:19:33.650 Like I wanted kids at 22. I was going to say, 00:19:33.750 --> 00:19:36.230 either way you wanted kids, but you wanted kids 00:19:36.230 --> 00:19:40.109 at 20 feeling unsure about yourself versus now 00:19:40.109 --> 00:19:42.849 at 30 being very sure about. I wasn't sure about 00:19:42.849 --> 00:19:44.970 myself, but what I was projecting into the relationships 00:19:44.970 --> 00:19:48.049 I was in at the time too. Like I wasn't free 00:19:48.049 --> 00:19:50.710 in the relationships I was in in my 20s. And 00:19:50.710 --> 00:19:53.910 that would have carried over onto my children. 00:19:53.970 --> 00:19:58.339 Yeah. You know, and so. I think for me, I come 00:19:58.339 --> 00:20:00.779 from a very, you know, heavily divorced background. 00:20:02.039 --> 00:20:04.900 You know, I grew up, my parents separated before 00:20:04.900 --> 00:20:07.480 I was two. So I think for me, I've always recognized 00:20:07.480 --> 00:20:11.519 the importance of how marriage affects children. 00:20:11.799 --> 00:20:16.000 Yeah. Oh, for sure. And so, you know, and there's 00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:17.940 such a grace there for my mom and dad. There's 00:20:17.940 --> 00:20:19.900 such a grace there. This is not like a harp or 00:20:19.900 --> 00:20:25.599 a, I just, it is so important, fam, ladies. Men 00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:29.640 and your singleness, like, I pray one of the 00:20:29.640 --> 00:20:31.119 questions you're asking yourself when you're 00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:33.279 looking at someone that you're considering marrying 00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:35.900 is what kind of parent they're going to be. Well, 00:20:35.960 --> 00:20:38.640 that was, I remember my ex, I looked at him and 00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:40.900 I just thought, I do not want you to be the father 00:20:40.900 --> 00:20:44.140 of my children. Right. That's a red flag. That 00:20:44.140 --> 00:20:45.900 was my main red flag. And that's when I started 00:20:45.900 --> 00:20:47.779 praying, like, God, this man is not for me. Take 00:20:47.779 --> 00:20:49.000 him out of my life. And God was like, great, 00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:51.119 he's cheating on you. And I was like, wow. Yeah. 00:20:51.500 --> 00:20:53.829 Answered prayer. Cool, cool, cool. Sounds like 00:20:53.829 --> 00:20:56.170 I don't want you to raise my children. I would 00:20:56.170 --> 00:20:58.730 have to be constantly healing my children from 00:20:58.730 --> 00:21:03.529 the damage you would be doing. Yeah. Yeah. You 00:21:03.529 --> 00:21:06.069 know? And I think we all are capable of that. 00:21:06.650 --> 00:21:12.289 And even, my God, even me being an older mom, 00:21:12.470 --> 00:21:14.190 like, there would still be damage done to my 00:21:14.190 --> 00:21:16.490 child. 100%. Like, there's no perfect parent. 00:21:16.509 --> 00:21:21.009 And there's no perfect, like. parenting style 00:21:21.009 --> 00:21:23.309 and there's no all the everybody wants to get 00:21:23.309 --> 00:21:25.450 in wars about parenting styles yeah really it's 00:21:25.450 --> 00:21:28.289 like man just have grace each kid is so different 00:21:28.289 --> 00:21:31.230 each kid is so different each parent is so different 00:21:31.230 --> 00:21:33.829 i'm not about to tell this mom over here like 00:21:33.829 --> 00:21:36.309 doing it wrong yo queen you doing it wrong yeah 00:21:36.309 --> 00:21:39.549 one how dare you yeah like that's not your business 00:21:39.549 --> 00:21:44.430 yeah um and so i mean obviously obviously if 00:21:44.430 --> 00:21:46.849 a child is in danger that is everyone's business 00:21:46.849 --> 00:21:52.869 um that's very different but yeah so there's 00:21:52.869 --> 00:21:54.829 so much grace to be had we're all just human 00:21:54.829 --> 00:21:58.710 and the beauty of i think in singleness and marriage 00:21:58.710 --> 00:22:01.150 and motherhood is are you inviting jesus into 00:22:01.150 --> 00:22:03.190 it yeah really it just goes back to the simple 00:22:03.190 --> 00:22:06.029 gospel like it does are you bringing jesus into 00:22:06.029 --> 00:22:09.210 it are you inviting him into your singleness 00:22:09.210 --> 00:22:12.410 are you inviting him into your marriage are you 00:22:12.410 --> 00:22:15.880 inviting him into your parenting like Are you 00:22:15.880 --> 00:22:17.559 just having moments, mom, where you want to tear 00:22:17.559 --> 00:22:19.039 your hairs out, where you're like, I need to 00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:22.000 go to the bathroom really quick? And maybe have 00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:25.099 a five -second cry. Yeah. And just call out the 00:22:25.099 --> 00:22:28.359 name of Jesus. Yeah. You know? I don't know if 00:22:28.359 --> 00:22:30.480 you need to tell yourself, like, okay, like, 00:22:30.579 --> 00:22:33.200 I am a daughter of the true high king. Mm -hmm. 00:22:33.400 --> 00:22:36.140 This is an honor and a pleasure. You know? Or 00:22:36.140 --> 00:22:39.259 this is an honor. I'm tired. I'm wore out. I'm 00:22:39.259 --> 00:22:42.799 weary. But Jesus, where I'm weak, you are strong. 00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:45.950 Yeah. So I need you to come in. So I feel like 00:22:45.950 --> 00:22:47.609 that's a great way to, even when you're single 00:22:47.609 --> 00:22:49.150 and you're watching everybody have kids and you're 00:22:49.150 --> 00:22:50.849 like, wow, I'm weary and tired of waiting on 00:22:50.849 --> 00:22:53.289 it. You go to the bathroom, you have a cry. You're 00:22:53.289 --> 00:22:55.750 like, God, this is good. This has been great. 00:22:56.089 --> 00:22:58.569 Super fun. She says sarcastically with all those 00:22:58.569 --> 00:23:00.789 things. But like, I am your daughter. I have 00:23:00.789 --> 00:23:02.529 faith in you. I'm going to appreciate seeing 00:23:02.529 --> 00:23:04.230 you and my friends. And then I'm going to put 00:23:04.230 --> 00:23:05.950 my big girl pants back on and walk out there 00:23:05.950 --> 00:23:08.450 and be in the joy with them. Yeah. And you can 00:23:08.450 --> 00:23:10.650 ask for greater vision for your friends and family 00:23:10.650 --> 00:23:12.769 too. It's like, I think those moments too, where 00:23:12.769 --> 00:23:18.799 it's like. oh man, this is happening with everyone 00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:20.900 around. And I think that's where, you know, some 00:23:20.900 --> 00:23:23.339 of my prayers lately have just been like, God, 00:23:23.420 --> 00:23:26.059 I entrust myself to you. Yeah. You know, like 00:23:26.059 --> 00:23:29.680 I see a friend get engaged. I am in multiple 00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:32.339 weddings coming up, which I'm so excited for. 00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:33.559 I think they're going to be beautiful. They're 00:23:33.559 --> 00:23:39.380 going to be so good. You know, and then when 00:23:39.380 --> 00:23:44.069 the pangs of longing come. As they do come. And 00:23:44.069 --> 00:23:47.450 that's okay. Makes you human. Sure does. It doesn't 00:23:47.450 --> 00:23:50.150 stop my rejoicing for my friend. No. You know 00:23:50.150 --> 00:23:53.329 what I mean? Yes. It doesn't stop my genuine 00:23:53.329 --> 00:23:56.710 joy. And this I think too happens when you're 00:23:56.710 --> 00:23:58.910 actually living on mission and doing life with 00:23:58.910 --> 00:24:00.869 people. Because I've been in the trenches praying 00:24:00.869 --> 00:24:04.569 with some of these girls. Over situations. Over 00:24:04.569 --> 00:24:07.170 their husbands. Over their wombs. Over their, 00:24:07.210 --> 00:24:10.440 you know. seeing people become pregnant you know 00:24:10.440 --> 00:24:12.579 when they've dealt with three years of infertility 00:24:12.579 --> 00:24:16.779 seeing like that's winning yeah no it is winning 00:24:16.779 --> 00:24:19.799 in the kingdom there was a day i was with like 00:24:19.799 --> 00:24:22.099 three girlfriends out in wilmington all of us 00:24:22.099 --> 00:24:24.819 single all four of us single and i decided that 00:24:24.819 --> 00:24:26.539 day i was like i'm gonna pray fervently over 00:24:26.539 --> 00:24:29.059 their future husbands yes it's been two years 00:24:29.059 --> 00:24:31.319 yes two of them are engaged one's getting married 00:24:31.319 --> 00:24:34.059 next weekend one's married yes and they're trying 00:24:34.059 --> 00:24:35.829 for a kid And I remember we were having dinner 00:24:35.829 --> 00:24:37.049 one night, and they were like, wow, life looks 00:24:37.049 --> 00:24:38.549 so different two years later. And I was sitting 00:24:38.549 --> 00:24:40.450 there, and I was like, wow, I've been, like, 00:24:40.450 --> 00:24:42.809 praying so fervently over y 'all's relationships, 00:24:42.910 --> 00:24:45.089 and I've seen God come through. Yes. And, like, 00:24:45.130 --> 00:24:46.829 going to the wedding back in May, that was the 00:24:46.829 --> 00:24:48.269 maid of honor for her. I was like, what a joy 00:24:48.269 --> 00:24:50.329 to be here. Going to the wedding next week, and 00:24:50.329 --> 00:24:52.490 I was like, wow, like, what a joy that I get 00:24:52.490 --> 00:24:55.549 to see God fulfill prayers. And the next girl 00:24:55.549 --> 00:24:57.170 who's engaged, like, she's going to be great 00:24:57.170 --> 00:24:58.170 next year. And that is living life on mission 00:24:58.170 --> 00:25:00.529 with your people. Yeah. Like, as you are, you 00:25:00.529 --> 00:25:04.450 know, involving yourself. with with people and 00:25:04.450 --> 00:25:06.410 in their lives and you know believers and non 00:25:06.410 --> 00:25:08.589 -believers like like yeah as you're praying over 00:25:08.589 --> 00:25:10.609 people as your thing and things start happening 00:25:10.609 --> 00:25:13.410 like you're hand in hand like i'm like yeah that's 00:25:13.410 --> 00:25:16.049 the king kingdom come nothing will be done yeah 00:25:16.049 --> 00:25:19.210 on earth as it is in heaven like and that's what 00:25:19.210 --> 00:25:23.210 i mean by like ladies your your life does not 00:25:23.210 --> 00:25:27.650 start or stop based off your marital status no 00:25:27.650 --> 00:25:32.289 you know and so um I think in partnership with, 00:25:32.369 --> 00:25:33.690 you know, I've been in the churches with some 00:25:33.690 --> 00:25:35.730 of these girls. There is so much great rejoicing. 00:25:35.970 --> 00:25:38.470 You know, I just got back from a bat strip and 00:25:38.470 --> 00:25:41.329 we all was, we were all a crying, sobbing mess. 00:25:41.470 --> 00:25:43.769 You know, we circled her up, we prayed and I 00:25:43.769 --> 00:25:45.930 was like, I'm going to be unwell at this wedding 00:25:45.930 --> 00:25:49.569 in the best way. Yes. I was like, yeah, I am 00:25:49.569 --> 00:25:52.509 going to need waterproof everything, you know, 00:25:52.509 --> 00:25:55.970 and it's been so sweet and she is so deserving 00:25:55.970 --> 00:26:00.359 and it's so beautiful to see how. And I'll honestly 00:26:00.359 --> 00:26:03.599 say this too, ladies, in your singleness. But 00:26:03.599 --> 00:26:07.920 like watching and observing, you know, and praying 00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:09.680 for your friends and their relationship. But 00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:12.819 how my friends, even watching and observing how 00:26:12.819 --> 00:26:16.220 my girl's guy has pursued her. Yeah. And loved 00:26:16.220 --> 00:26:18.900 her well. That's been healing. Oh, it's been 00:26:18.900 --> 00:26:21.079 so healing. For my heart. Same. And I'm like, 00:26:21.140 --> 00:26:23.019 oh, praise God. There are some good ones out 00:26:23.019 --> 00:26:26.279 here. Yes. Like it has been. And it's just so 00:26:26.279 --> 00:26:28.180 beautiful when you see stories that are, like, 00:26:28.180 --> 00:26:30.240 wrapped up by the king's hands. And I've always 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:34.119 said this, too. Obviously, when relationships, 00:26:34.319 --> 00:26:36.680 I feel like there's a difference in relationships 00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:44.180 are fought for. And, like, I'm talking about 00:26:44.180 --> 00:26:45.579 the relationships where it's, like, you're dating 00:26:45.579 --> 00:26:47.400 for a year, you break up for six months, you 00:26:47.400 --> 00:26:51.339 get back together. You know, it's just rocky. 00:26:51.460 --> 00:26:55.380 That's a nice way to put it. They get married, 00:26:55.559 --> 00:26:58.740 you know, and God will work all things for good 00:26:58.740 --> 00:27:03.180 versus waiting on the Lord. There is a difference 00:27:03.180 --> 00:27:05.940 when you are waiting on the Lord and then things 00:27:05.940 --> 00:27:09.339 just start happening. There's such a peace. Yeah. 00:27:09.460 --> 00:27:11.559 There's such a peace that comes. And it's not 00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:13.519 saying God doesn't redeem all the other scenarios 00:27:13.519 --> 00:27:16.380 too, but there is a difference. Oh, for sure. 00:27:16.460 --> 00:27:18.420 There is a difference when you wait on the Lord 00:27:18.420 --> 00:27:22.259 and the timing is right and he brings about that 00:27:22.259 --> 00:27:25.799 good thing. And I have, been honored and privileged 00:27:25.799 --> 00:27:28.740 to be a witness to that. I love that. I love 00:27:28.740 --> 00:27:32.119 that. And it just spurs me on. It gives me even 00:27:32.119 --> 00:27:35.079 more hope. It gives me even more encouragement. 00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:39.339 And even just seeing how, you know, how your 00:27:39.339 --> 00:27:41.720 friends tie in, how they actually work together 00:27:41.720 --> 00:27:43.900 as a couple and as a unit. I'm like, God is so 00:27:43.900 --> 00:27:47.740 good. yes he knew exactly what my girl needed 00:27:47.740 --> 00:27:50.799 yeah he knew exactly what my what my guy over 00:27:50.799 --> 00:27:53.160 here needed you know like they the way that they 00:27:53.160 --> 00:27:56.220 operate in relationship together I'm like like 00:27:56.220 --> 00:27:58.200 and to watch my friend go down the aisle I'm 00:27:58.200 --> 00:28:01.480 like there's so much peace in my heart over this 00:28:01.480 --> 00:28:05.660 relationship yeah you know um I mean we all know 00:28:05.660 --> 00:28:09.000 I say like if I don't have peace over your marriage 00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:11.980 because I'm not the one getting married I won't 00:28:11.980 --> 00:28:14.869 go to your wedding Oh, I'd just be praying that 00:28:14.869 --> 00:28:16.589 it doesn't happen. No, I literally am. That's 00:28:16.589 --> 00:28:19.250 what I did with you. Yeah. Thanks. You and a 00:28:19.250 --> 00:28:21.829 lot of other people. I just RSVP. No, I'm like, 00:28:21.849 --> 00:28:23.470 love you so much as a friend. Like, I'm not going 00:28:23.470 --> 00:28:25.990 to make it because I see myself like showing 00:28:25.990 --> 00:28:27.329 up for you and your marriage as a friend. Like, 00:28:27.369 --> 00:28:29.569 oh, I know his character. I know who he is. I 00:28:29.569 --> 00:28:31.190 know what you're saying about him in the hard 00:28:31.190 --> 00:28:33.609 times isn't true to who he is. And I'm there 00:28:33.609 --> 00:28:35.730 to remind you if I don't know him well enough 00:28:35.730 --> 00:28:37.450 or I don't trust him, I'm not going to show up 00:28:37.450 --> 00:28:38.609 to your wedding because I'm not going to hold 00:28:38.609 --> 00:28:40.950 your hand in the trenches and remind you. of 00:28:40.950 --> 00:28:42.130 his strong character because he doesn't have 00:28:42.130 --> 00:28:45.210 strong character. I think it's okay to still 00:28:45.210 --> 00:28:48.130 show up. I can't. It does not sit well with me. 00:28:48.230 --> 00:28:50.609 No. No. That's my conviction. I think it's okay 00:28:50.609 --> 00:28:53.349 to just be like, I think if a friend is asking, 00:28:53.450 --> 00:28:56.750 like, because here's the reality. People know. 00:28:57.769 --> 00:29:00.990 Oh, they do know. People know. Yeah. You know, 00:29:01.029 --> 00:29:04.230 man. Ladies, you know. You know if it's good 00:29:04.230 --> 00:29:07.369 or not good. Men, you know if it's good or not 00:29:07.369 --> 00:29:09.890 good. Yeah. And you really should examine those 00:29:09.890 --> 00:29:12.799 feelings. before you walk down the aisle. No 00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:15.740 matter what's been paid. Yeah. It doesn't matter. 00:29:15.819 --> 00:29:18.440 Truly. Because a divorce is more expensive. So 00:29:18.440 --> 00:29:22.099 and I say this with all the love in my heart 00:29:22.099 --> 00:29:23.779 because I have watched many people get married. 00:29:24.039 --> 00:29:27.880 I have watched some people they are still married 00:29:27.880 --> 00:29:30.140 and it's beautiful. There were a couple seasons 00:29:30.140 --> 00:29:31.759 they were barely hanging on. But I have watched 00:29:31.759 --> 00:29:35.680 plenty of people also divorce. Yeah. And that 00:29:35.680 --> 00:29:40.630 is painful in a whole other measure. So I just, 00:29:40.670 --> 00:29:45.589 yeah, be wise in your consideration. This would 00:29:45.589 --> 00:29:47.769 be my greatest encouragement to the women in 00:29:47.769 --> 00:29:51.349 the waiting is, I know you want to get married. 00:29:51.710 --> 00:29:54.150 And I say it to my granny all the time. I'm like, 00:29:54.190 --> 00:29:59.970 you know what makes me content? I, this is, I 00:29:59.970 --> 00:30:02.210 know plenty of people who are operating in very 00:30:02.210 --> 00:30:06.049 difficult marriages. Yes. Yeah. And that's so 00:30:06.049 --> 00:30:10.309 sad. It's so sad. Yeah. The world is hard. I 00:30:10.309 --> 00:30:12.609 think, you know, there's a beauty that comes 00:30:12.609 --> 00:30:16.190 when you marry who we so the Lord and we probably 00:30:16.190 --> 00:30:20.950 will, you know, for you. And I'm not saying like 00:30:20.950 --> 00:30:26.109 choices out of the equation. But being prayerful 00:30:26.109 --> 00:30:29.349 and considerate, you know, in your dating or 00:30:29.349 --> 00:30:31.849 in people and the Lord will reveal pretty quickly. 00:30:32.230 --> 00:30:35.269 You know, I I have known each other for like 00:30:35.269 --> 00:30:38.200 six years, you know, and then there. wave in 00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:40.579 our society and culture where it's like, oh, 00:30:40.680 --> 00:30:42.460 well, we're comfortable. We know each other. 00:30:43.559 --> 00:30:46.839 But I'm like, okay. And I think this is interesting 00:30:46.839 --> 00:30:48.299 too, you know, especially when you have people 00:30:48.299 --> 00:30:49.460 who have like started dating in college. Yeah, 00:30:49.460 --> 00:30:51.279 I think just the contentment and they get married 00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:53.519 when they're like 25 years old. It's like, I 00:30:53.519 --> 00:30:55.680 think they have fallen in love with that person 00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:59.019 who was like 19, 20. But have they fallen in 00:30:59.019 --> 00:31:02.720 love with a person who's 25, 26 years old? That's 00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:05.710 like genuinely what I was saying too. You know 00:31:05.710 --> 00:31:07.369 her, but I won't say her name because she got 00:31:07.369 --> 00:31:09.170 married to someone right out of college and she 00:31:09.170 --> 00:31:11.009 was talking with me and she's like, oh, I didn't 00:31:11.009 --> 00:31:12.529 know this, but he doesn't want to live in North 00:31:12.529 --> 00:31:15.289 Carolina. I'm like, my whole family's here. I 00:31:15.289 --> 00:31:17.329 don't ever want to leave. And they've been married 00:31:17.329 --> 00:31:18.890 for a year. And I was like, oh, did you have 00:31:18.890 --> 00:31:20.549 that conversation before you got married? And 00:31:20.549 --> 00:31:23.630 she's like, I guess it just never came up. And 00:31:23.630 --> 00:31:25.190 she's like, that's kind of like a big deal for 00:31:25.190 --> 00:31:26.769 me. Like, I'm not going to divorce him, but like, 00:31:26.809 --> 00:31:29.309 this is like a make or break it thing for me. 00:31:29.390 --> 00:31:32.509 And I was like, oh, those are conversations we 00:31:32.509 --> 00:31:34.880 should have. That's a baby conversation you should 00:31:34.880 --> 00:31:38.920 have. Like, I think it is important to ask, you 00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:42.460 know, targeted questions on dates and to really 00:31:42.460 --> 00:31:45.839 like, I can tell within three dates whether or 00:31:45.839 --> 00:31:48.940 not it's a yay or nay for me. But I am also, 00:31:49.200 --> 00:31:51.980 this is, okay, this is good for dating, but in 00:31:51.980 --> 00:31:54.420 singleness as well. But like, if you are a man 00:31:54.420 --> 00:31:59.200 or a woman on mission, then when you start dating, 00:31:59.380 --> 00:32:03.339 things get real clear. Because if you're on mission 00:32:03.339 --> 00:32:04.859 and you're going on dates with someone who's 00:32:04.859 --> 00:32:09.099 not on mission, it ain't going to work out. It's 00:32:09.099 --> 00:32:11.859 not going to work out. And so for me as a woman, 00:32:11.920 --> 00:32:14.240 I am looking for someone. I'm like, are they 00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:18.619 on mission? Am I equipped? Can I get up behind 00:32:18.619 --> 00:32:20.680 that mission? Do I believe in that mission as 00:32:20.680 --> 00:32:23.519 well? You know, and I had this conversation with, 00:32:23.559 --> 00:32:25.859 this is kind of getting out of the tip and more 00:32:25.859 --> 00:32:29.650 so into dating. But, you know, I had this. this 00:32:29.650 --> 00:32:32.230 conversation that I always pose and ask myself 00:32:32.230 --> 00:32:36.170 you know when I'm looking at a man or I'm considering 00:32:36.170 --> 00:32:39.369 a man you know that I've been on a date with 00:32:39.369 --> 00:32:42.349 or whatever I'm like do I respect this man is 00:32:42.349 --> 00:32:45.670 he a man that I could willingly like do I respect 00:32:45.670 --> 00:32:48.589 him have I respected what he's done so far you 00:32:48.589 --> 00:32:51.700 know how he's showing up um, what he's doing 00:32:51.700 --> 00:32:54.339 with his life. I think it's so important to look 00:32:54.339 --> 00:32:56.140 at those characteristics of a ninja girl and 00:32:56.140 --> 00:32:59.160 men too, men with women. Y 'all be, I don't know, 00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:01.400 y 'all be getting lost in the weeds sometimes 00:33:01.400 --> 00:33:04.859 with some grace. And I'm like, really things 00:33:04.859 --> 00:33:07.140 would be so simple if y 'all just ask some pointed 00:33:07.140 --> 00:33:09.960 questions on the first three dates. Okay. And 00:33:09.960 --> 00:33:11.440 too many people are out here and be like, Oh, 00:33:11.539 --> 00:33:13.420 it's a game. You know, don't text for three days. 00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:16.019 Text. Send the text. Why y 'all playing games, 00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:18.200 okay? Don't be playing with people's lives. Don't 00:33:18.200 --> 00:33:21.140 be playing games. Just, like, get clear and move 00:33:21.140 --> 00:33:24.700 on. Don't waste people's time. And it is okay. 00:33:24.819 --> 00:33:28.680 And I'm sorry there's lack of emotional intelligence 00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:32.559 out there today. But don't be one of those people. 00:33:33.839 --> 00:33:35.799 All right. I have, like, one final question. 00:33:36.460 --> 00:33:41.789 And then we'll close out. What are some things 00:33:41.789 --> 00:33:48.390 that bring you joy in being single? Oh, man. 00:33:48.549 --> 00:33:51.730 What are some things that bring me joy in being 00:33:51.730 --> 00:34:01.170 single? My time with the Lord right now, honestly, 00:34:01.289 --> 00:34:05.009 is so sweet. I feel like not having that distraction 00:34:05.009 --> 00:34:10.519 of a relationship. has just been really good 00:34:10.519 --> 00:34:14.719 and lovely um what are some things that make 00:34:14.719 --> 00:34:19.280 me super joyful in being single I don't have 00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:21.920 a lot of freedom to say yes or no to things you 00:34:21.920 --> 00:34:26.199 know I don't have to like consider someone um 00:34:26.199 --> 00:34:30.199 so there's a lot of like oh I'm gonna go home 00:34:30.199 --> 00:34:32.480 to Savannah this weekend just makes sense why 00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:36.440 not you know or oh I'm gonna go visit Hannah 00:34:37.260 --> 00:34:39.940 the beach you know or like there's just a lot 00:34:39.940 --> 00:34:43.639 of freedom to pick up and go um which is super 00:34:43.639 --> 00:34:48.639 lovely and then I would just say honestly some 00:34:48.639 --> 00:34:51.239 of the joys and one of the greatest joys I think 00:34:51.239 --> 00:34:53.860 in this season is the community I have found 00:34:53.860 --> 00:34:56.780 myself in and the friendships that I am able 00:34:56.780 --> 00:34:59.920 to pour into and vice versa you know I would 00:34:59.920 --> 00:35:01.699 say the relationships that have been developed 00:35:02.590 --> 00:35:06.449 in my years of singleness have been one of God's 00:35:06.449 --> 00:35:13.230 greatest gifts to me. You know, I don't have 00:35:13.230 --> 00:35:17.530 strong spiritual friendships with my family. 00:35:17.590 --> 00:35:22.250 And so having that in the body has been, is such 00:35:22.250 --> 00:35:26.889 a joy and is such a gift. And yeah, so I would 00:35:26.889 --> 00:35:31.079 say the developing of like just Friends, man, 00:35:31.239 --> 00:35:35.460 community, relationships. I literally know people 00:35:35.460 --> 00:35:39.320 all over the world, you know, and that's kind 00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:47.920 of cool to say. And so, yeah. Yeah. Honestly, 00:35:48.039 --> 00:35:49.659 I would probably close with that. I feel like 00:35:49.659 --> 00:35:54.619 if you doing singleness cannot be done alone, 00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:58.239 cannot be done well alone. You need friends. 00:35:58.909 --> 00:36:01.769 You need your friends. And so, and if you don't 00:36:01.769 --> 00:36:05.409 have any, like, pray for it. You can ask God 00:36:05.409 --> 00:36:07.489 for that. Like, God, please give me a godly friend. 00:36:07.909 --> 00:36:10.710 Please give me girls who are going to sharpen 00:36:10.710 --> 00:36:15.210 me and hone me. Women who don't just, like, whine 00:36:15.210 --> 00:36:18.789 and pine for marriage or children. Not saying 00:36:18.789 --> 00:36:20.329 that those aren't good things. They are good 00:36:20.329 --> 00:36:22.829 things. But you want women who are going to come 00:36:22.829 --> 00:36:25.510 alongside you and be on mission with you for 00:36:25.510 --> 00:36:29.349 the kingdom of God, for the gospel. Guys, we 00:36:29.349 --> 00:36:33.650 are harbingers of good news. We carry the gospel 00:36:33.650 --> 00:36:35.789 of hope within us and the world is dark right 00:36:35.789 --> 00:36:39.550 now. So my encouragement to all of you is, I 00:36:39.550 --> 00:36:44.809 mean, get it together. And be about mission and 00:36:44.809 --> 00:36:47.849 be about purpose. If you chase mission and if 00:36:47.849 --> 00:36:51.550 you chase purpose in the kingdom of God, contentment 00:36:51.550 --> 00:36:54.289 will come. And joy will come. There's so much 00:36:54.289 --> 00:36:59.159 joy that comes with that. Yeah. find you some 00:36:59.159 --> 00:37:02.480 good people all right I think that's a perfect 00:37:02.480 --> 00:37:06.539 closing yeah thank you so much thanks for having 00:37:06.539 --> 00:37:10.420 me yeah it was literally like been on my check 00:37:10.420 --> 00:37:12.539 like to -do list I've been so excited counting 00:37:12.539 --> 00:37:15.099 down the days to have you on here so yeah thank 00:37:15.099 --> 00:37:17.820 you so much and I'm sure there will be plenty 00:37:17.820 --> 00:37:22.519 more to come love it love being here yay all 00:37:22.519 --> 00:37:25.659 right well That's all we need. And that's it. 00:37:25.800 --> 00:37:27.699 Thank you so much for listening to the Living 00:37:27.699 --> 00:37:30.159 Free Podcast and for tuning in to listen to part 00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:32.800 two with Caitlin Phillips. I hope you got something 00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:35.780 out of it like I did. I just always appreciate 00:37:35.780 --> 00:37:39.639 whatever wisdom she has to throw my way. If you 00:37:39.639 --> 00:37:42.400 want to get connected, you can message me on 00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:46.969 Instagram at HannahLizD. or email me at thelivingfreepod 00:37:46.969 --> 00:37:50.250 at gmail .com. If you guys are loving the podcast, 00:37:50.630 --> 00:37:52.769 I'd be so honored if you'd go ahead and hit that 00:37:52.769 --> 00:37:55.489 subscribe button and leave me a five -star review. 00:37:56.210 --> 00:37:58.849 And if you have feedback or a subject you'd like 00:37:58.849 --> 00:38:01.929 me to cover, please just DM me on Instagram or 00:38:01.929 --> 00:38:04.469 email me. It's always a good option too. We can, 00:38:04.530 --> 00:38:06.469 you know, give it a good throwback to the old 00:38:06.469 --> 00:38:10.469 days, aka the early 2000s. Again, thank you so 00:38:10.469 --> 00:38:12.530 much for listening. I hope that you guys feel 00:38:12.530 --> 00:38:16.010 encouraged and lighter today. Yeah, that's it. 00:38:16.250 --> 00:38:16.889 Bye, y 'all.