Latest / Mind Over Mountain / Reissue: I'm Not Lifting Weights; I'm Lifting People with Tamara Walcott

Transcript

Reissue: I'm Not Lifting Weights; I'm Lifting People with Tamara Walcott · Mind Over Mountain

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Hi everyone.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: I'm Cheryl Strade and I'm so excited that you join
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: me for this first episode of my brand new podcast,
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Mind or Mountain, where I'll be having conversations with women
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: athletes about the epic and interesting things they've done in
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: their sport and in their lives.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: I wrote the book Wild about.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: My long hike on the Pacific Crest Trail, and in
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: that book, I explored all the meaningful ways that the
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: body can teach us what the spirit needs to know.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: How it is that doing hard things and going outside
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: the comfort zone can remind us of our courage and
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: strength and sometimes transform our lives. On this podcast, I'll
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: be having conversations with women athletes of all varieties, from
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: climbers to skiers, to basketball players to rowers to fill
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: in the blank, asking them about the ways that they
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: too have been transformed by their sport.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I'll ask them about their.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Victories and triumphs, and about their challenges and barriers and mistakes.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: We'll also be bringing a bit of Deer Sugar into
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: the mix. You might know me as Deer Sugar, the
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: advice giver. I've been doing it for more than a
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: decade now, and on each episode, of this podcast.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I will be answering a listener letter with.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: My guest, and we'll be answering not from that place
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: of the all knowing we're going to tell you what
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: to do and boss you around perspective, but rather from
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: the perspective of two women who are right there in
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: the mud with you, struggling our way up to the
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: top of the mountain.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: What my hope.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Is is that you're going to feel like part of
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: the conversation, that as you run, or walk or fold
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: the laundry, you'll be feeling inspired, uplifted. Maybe you'll laugh
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: and cry with us as we hear these stories about
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: how these amazing women did the epic things they've done.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: My very first guest is the unstoppable Tomorrow Wildcot. She
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: is a champion powerlifter, a world record holder. She's also
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: a strong woman, a mom, a coach, and an all
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: around inspiring woman. Let's listen to my conversation with her.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Tomorrow Wildcot, Welcome to Mind of Her Mountain.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, thank you for having me.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited to talk to you. I can't even
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: tell you. I mean, you are the coolest. You are
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: a world record powerlifter, extraordinaire. You also have competed in
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: strong women events and you're just an absolute delight and inspiration.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I have to say, I follow you on Instagram and
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: you always lift me up, So thank you for that.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: Thank you. Well, that's my goal. That's my goal. People
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: think I'm lifting weights, but I'm lifting people too, So.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you need that on a T shirt because
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: it's really true.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're just a beam of light.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: And also you do things that you know, let's face it,
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: most of us can't do.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: The first question I have for you is what does
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: it feel.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Like to be a woman? And as you know, like
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: the story many of us got from the beginning is like,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: you know, women aren't strong, right, we can't be strong.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: What does it feel like to be a woman who
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: is among the strongest in the world.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: You know what, I definitely have to say that it
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: feels surreal sometimes because I think I've always known that
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: I've been strong, but I think I finally found something
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: to channel it in. But people see the physical aspect,
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: but they don't realize just how mentally strong I am. Right,
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: because if I don't believe it, then I can't achieve it.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: So I would say it feels good, but sometimes the
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: real yeah.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got, isn't it Like do you ever go
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: back there and think about the little girl you were
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: and the aspirations you had for yourself and the things
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: you wanted to do? And I mean, do you think
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: of that little girl that lives inside of you that
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: now that you are this strong woman.
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that little girl didn't think that she was good enough.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: That little girl didn't think she was strong enough, she
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: didn't think she had courage. But if that little girl
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: can see what she became today, she will be like
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: jumping for joying. So yes, yeah she was scared, but
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: now the big her is courageous and strong.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: So yeah, ah, that's well.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: We're going to spend the next hour talking all about
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: that journey because I think that that what you just
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: said is, you know, in my mind at least like
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: the whole point of the meaning of life. You know,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: it's not like some career achievement or some you know,
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: we all look for those things, but really that internal
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: sense that you made that little girl inside of you
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: proud and you proved her wrong when she was saying
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I can't or I'm afraid or you know, I won't
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: be able to achieve those things. You proved her wrong
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: by going on and doing it.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: It's for me like the little girl in me used
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: to get picked last for everything, but now she's the
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: number one something in the world.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's crazy.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: That's that's crazy for me.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: But then when I think back, like the little girl
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: that got picked last for everything actually brought so much
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: to the team and people didn't realize it until the end.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: If that makes sense to.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Yees, yeah, And I mean how true that ends up
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: being so?
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Well, Like, tell me more about that specifically, why did
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: you get picked last?
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: What were you like as a little girl.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: And why would you be somebody who maybe others wouldn't
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: see your strength through your potential.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: I think for me, I didn't raise my hand, I
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: was shy, I wasn't as courageous as I am now.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: I also was chubby all my life, so people just
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: looked at it like from a sports standpoint, like she's
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: gonna run the slowest, she's going to keep us behind,
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: She's not going to be able to get over this.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: But I think one of the things that little.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: Girl did is I had strength, right, I would be
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: that friend that could pick you up and put you
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: on the monkey bars, so the little to one could
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: get over first before all the other people did. So
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: it's like I just used what I had to get
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: what I got done. So I think I got picked
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: last because I was chubby and people didn't think that
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: I was fast or they didn't think I could do
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: it good enough. And that's just always what I was
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: left with.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: When did you first, like what were your first forays
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: into doing things physical or you know, as a kid,
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: what kind of activities were you involved in at the beekeonding?
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: So when I was in school, like I played basketball.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: I think that was something that I gravitated to. I
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: wasn't the fastest, but I learned the moves fast. And
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: I was a brick house. That's what my code. He's like,
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: you're a brick house, nobody can get around you. So
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: they called me a power forward, and I believed it.
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: I think that's one of the things. So I didn't
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: believe in myself, but if someone gave me an ounce
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: of that they believed in me, then I kind of
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: like fed off of that.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: So I've always been that girl.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: So I went home telling my mom, like, Mom, I'm
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: a brick house. I remember when I was in ballet,
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: one of my ballet teachers, who actually was a cousin
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: of the family, like a distant cousin. She said in
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: front of the whole class, like, you need to do
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: jazz because you're too chubby to do ballet. Like you
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: can't point your toe. You're not doing these movements right.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: And I remember going home crying to my grandmother and
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: she's like, go back and you point that, oh, Tanny,
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: you point that toe. By the end of that dance season,
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: like the kids were coming to me asking me, like
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: how did you do that plea? Like you get your
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: feet like that straight and things of that nature.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So how old were you when you were doing that ballet?
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: I think I was like seven or eight, because I
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: remember going home crying because my like I had to
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: order my ballet outfit. They didn't they didn't have my size.
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: It's like, so there were just things like that that
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: I was like exposed to growing up, just realizing that
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: I was bigger than the world around me, right, but
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: that even though I was bigger than the world around me,
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: like I could still get these things done.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: And now, I mean, it's interesting because embedded in that
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: story of being like so young and joining ballet and
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: having the teacher tell you you can't because you're too big.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: And then so there's the shame you do go home crying,
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: But then there's also the triumphs, like you, you know, muster
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: up your courage and say I'm going to That seems
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: to be a pattern that has repeated itself. How did
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: you find your way to powerlifting?
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: So after having both my kids, uh, one of the
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: things that I did is I really ballooned up. I
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: stopped taking care of myself, Like I literally was just
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: eating myself to death, taking care of the kids, doing homework, cooking,
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: washing dishes, laundry. I got lost in it all. My marriage,
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: I felt like two ships passing in the night. He
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: was a gamer. I was working in corporate America. Long
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: hours were worked from like nine to eight. That's a
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: lot of hours out of the house, right, So as
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: soon as well, my hat to turn into mommy mode.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: So I ballooned up. I ballooned up because I just
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: started eating myself. That's the only comfort that I could bring.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: By the end of that marriage, I pretty much decided that,
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: you know what, I'm gonna be a little bit selfish.
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: I remember telling myself, like, I want to be a
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: little bit selfish because I have to save my life.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: Like there's moments in that people don't even know about,
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: Like I auditioned for my six hundred pound life and
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: I didn't make it because I wasn't big enough. Right,
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: There's there's like I literally was fighting for my life
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: along the way, and I just decided I was going
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: to be selfish, and my selfishness was I'm going to
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: take time for me.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: I didn't know what that time was.
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: I started out doing like one on one coaching and
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: a small group fitness and setting. Then I started doing tybo.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: I just started to move my body because I said,
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: I want to be here to live for my kids.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: I'm going through this divorce.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: They need me.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: They need a mom that's going to be here to
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: see them in their later years. Anything could happened to anyone,
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: but I'm going to try my hardest to be my
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: best self.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: So I started working out and I ended up at
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: a gym. Saw people screaming, throwing chalk, yelling, and I'm.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: Like, what these people are crazy? What is that hell
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: on here?
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: But I'll put that bar on my back and by
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: then I had lost one hundred pounds and my first
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: squat was like one hundred and twenty five pounds or something.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: It was the ugliest squad ever. I think I have
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: the video, but I literally was moving the weight that
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: I lost, you know, And I'll do this. I can
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: do anything, and I just continue to show up for
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: myself every single day.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: That's you know. What's amazing about that.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I love that just metaphorically is that you're burying the
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: weight that you shed.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Know, when you had it on your body, it was
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: weighing you down and compromising your health. And then when
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: you had it on your back, it was a symbol
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: really of your power.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: Yes, and that I can control it and it won't
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: control me.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: And okay, so I gotta tell you I'm not even
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: like I don't even have a one foot in your league, honey.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: But last summer, so I've lifted wads off and on
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: throughout my life, but only last summer I learned what
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: powerlifting is specifically, as if I always thought that was just,
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: you know, a term that other people use for like weightlifting,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: but it's a specific saying. And I started powerlifting. Every
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: every week I powerlift, and I'm curious, could you just
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: explain to listeners, you know what what exactly is powerlifting?
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: So as a coach, because I'm a coach now, in powerlifting,
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: powerlifting ultimately is max power for one rep. So at
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: the end of the day, when powerlifters are competing, they're
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: competing to get to that optimal one rep max. So
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: over the trades, over the course of a couple of weeks,
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: you may train volume where you're doing a bunch of reps. Also,
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: powerlifting only entails three different lists. So you have the squat,
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: you have the bench, and you have the deadlift, and
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: your goal is to move as much weight as you
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: can for one rep after a course of time. So
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: that's ultimately what powerlifting is, just chipping away week over
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: week to get to your one rep max on your
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: squat bentioned deadlift.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: So I want to ask you about competition and why
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: you you know, you're we left off with you lifting
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: that that you know, squat that was equivalent to the
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: way you lost. How did you then transition into saying, hey,
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: this is actually something I want to compete on. I mean,
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: most powerlifters are like I'm just going to work out
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: and do my best. You decided to bring it into
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: the competitive world, tell us about that.
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: I actually just stumbled on it, So it's not anything
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: that I went to research or anything that I just
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: found out about. Like I was in a gym with
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: a bunch of powerlifters, but at that time in the gym,
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: I did not know what I was doing, Like I
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: did not know what a proper squat venture deadlift should
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: look like.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: I just had to.
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: But I'm really good at scanning the room to see
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: who looks like they're not killing themselves and who's doing
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: it best to me, right, you can know a good
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: squat versus one that you're like, oh, you won't twist
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: your ankle. So I stayed the room and I found out.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: I found who those lifters are that I should mimic
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: myself too, right, And I just kept going back. But
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: I stumbled on a group and at that time Daniel Fox,
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: my late coach. I'm gonna try not to cry because
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: I've been thinking about him a lot lately.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: He passed away about two years ago.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: But you don't have to try not to cry. We
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: can cry. We're allowed to cry together.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: So I worked in that space, and I kept showing
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: up and I kept coming back and time in that
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: larger body. I think I was still like three eighty
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: or so, I want to say, like three sixties or whatever.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: I remember people like why is she here? Like you
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: should like I literally heard people saying she needs to
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: do cardio, like why is she here? Like why should
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: keep coming back? And then after a while I just
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: kept coming back and they're like, I guess she's staying,
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: you know. And then the stickers and the stairs and
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: everything got less and less. But Dan and his wife
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: never made me feel that.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: Way, and.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: He would always bench squat and deadlive. I was like, dang,
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: I want to do that. One day he heard me
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: and he's like, I'm a coach and I was like
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: he's like, you know, this is a sport, and I
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: was like really, So a couple months in I was like,
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: I think I want to sign up for my first meet.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: And my first meet was in twenty eighteen, and he's
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: like you do you know what you're gonna do? And
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: this man believed in me and get it goes back
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: to believing in tomorrow, like you give me one ounce
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: that you believe in me, I'm gonna show you that
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: I can, right, I ain't gonna tell you. I'm gonna
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: show you. I started training together and my squat was horrid.
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: Everything was already changed. My form told me how to
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: probably squat, bent and deadlift, gave me the tech technical
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: parts of it.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: It was not easy.
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: And I think my first year that I competed, uh,
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: I think I squat like three eighty six.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: I came in first. I squat three eighty six.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: I deadlift like three ninety six, and then my bench
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: was only like maybe two sixty seven or something like that.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: But only sixty seven.
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but Dan believed in me like nobody's business, you
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: know what I'm saying. That man poured into me, and
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: at that time, going through that divorce, he was he
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: became more than a coach.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: He was like my kid's uncle.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: Like I've lived a life and growing in the Islands,
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: I've lived the life of always living with someone.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: We lived with our grandmother. I moved here, I lived
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: with my sister. We lived right.
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: You grew up in I grew up Yeah, like living
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: with someone all the time and my kids going by
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: their dad every weekend.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: I had to throw myself into the gym. I would
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: be there all day.
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: It wasn't a bad thing either, but I just Dan
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: became family, you know, And that man believed in me
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: so much that I had no choice but to believe
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: in myself. I remember looking at him one day and
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: I was like, do you think I'll be able to
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: squat six timesred one day? And He's like, you absolutely will.
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: And we did that together in twenty twenty.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: One, and yeah, I just wanted to make him proud.
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: And because he always believed in me, I just believed
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: in myself and I had no choice to and I
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: did not everything that I would be here, but he
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: knew it, like he's like he knew it before I
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: knew it, you know.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: And why does that appeal to you? Like why does
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: that you know, that idea of you know, testing your
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: limit for that like giving it all in this one
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: lift or sometimes people call it a pull.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: You know? Why is that appealing to you and exciting
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: to you?
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: I think for me is it's important to see myself
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: and see things through. But also it teaches you to
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: never give up because when you go to that bar,
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: some days the weight moves and then others the other
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: day it doesn't right, But it doesn't mean that you're
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: not good enough in that moment. It just means you're
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: not ready. And that's what life is. Sometimes we face
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: things in life just like we face it at the
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: bar where it's not moving right now, you can't get
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: it done. It doesn't mean that you're not good enough.
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: It just means that you're not ready, but you have
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: to keep going. So I think why I keep coming
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: back to powerlifting, why I love it so much, is
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: that one week it's like I can't even break the
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: weight from the ground, and then the next week I've
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: discovered this inner energy and it's like I can toss
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: it in the air. So it's just about not giving
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: up and coming back and just pushing through every single time.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: And that should apply outside of the gym as well.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, look what I love about it, And like watching
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: you do your lists, which you're always just like so
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: exuberant and you've got you know, even if you don't
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: usually have a smile on your face, but even if
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: you're not smiling, you emanate a smile, you know. And
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: I think, to me, it's really embedded in that word
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: power because it is about that confluence really of your
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: physical power, but as you say that psychological and emotional power,
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: you have to be mentally present in order to do
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: that one really hard thing. And that's such a great lesson,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: isn't it for us?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: For life?
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: You know, because you bring you bring that kind of
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: sense of confidence or stillness or faith or whatever it is,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: and you can do the impossible. And I think powerlifting
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: teaches us that.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but it goes back to believing it so you
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: can achieve it, right, because putting six hundred pounds on
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: your back is not easy. And I know you say
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: for me that it looks like I'm not smiling, but
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: I can see that inner sense of me being calm
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: is because I have to control the controllables. I have
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: to be aware, I have to be intentional and then
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: all so I don't look like what I've been through
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: in my life. So my lift don't even look like
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: what I've been through. Yeah, my CNS is probably like,
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: this is heavy, girl, but we don't because.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: I prepared for it all my life.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you mean when you say you don't
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: look like what you've been through in your life.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: I've been through a lot. I've been through a lot.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: I take myself as an onion.
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: Right, there's so many layers to who tomorrow is and
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: what she's been through and the things that she's overcome
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: from being.
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: A little girl who has dealt with.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: Just a lot of mistreatment kind of growing up and
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: just some bullying growing up as well. And I chose
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: to just be this radiant energy that you see because
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: of my mom, because of my sister, because of the
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: strong women in my life.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: I chose joy. Right.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: So, just like the bar that I lift every single day,
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: I've been but I never break because I don't look
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: like what I've been through.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: If I look like what I've been through, I would
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: have been an asshole.
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry if I use that word, but I would
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: have been someone that was mean, someone who doesn't believe,
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: someone who sees the cup half empty. I chose not
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: to be that because when I have that weight on
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: my back, it is heavy, but I'm going to get
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: it done because I prepared all my life for it,
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: not just physically but mentally.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: That's beautiful and powerful, and I think it certainly resonates
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: with me because I think that, you know, every day
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: is a choice, right, Like are we going to be
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: just live? Out that as the product of our traumas
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: or the things that have harmed us or the things
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: that pain us still maybe or are we going to
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: say I can carry this, This burden is mine and
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: we all have burdens and suffering is part of life.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know I think that that is you know.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Also, I just want to say, when you talk about
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: bullying and you talk about the things that you went
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: through as a younger woman, people assuming you couldn't do
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: things because of the way you looked because you were
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: in a larger body. And I've been a really like
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: active athlete, fit person too and a larger body at
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: different times in my life. And it's so amazing to
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: me how much people like people bring a story to
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: your body based on how it looks and specifically.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: How much you weigh, how big you are. They assume.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: If you're thin, they assume you're fit. If you're not thin,
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: they assume you're not fit. And I just want to
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: say thank you for rewriting that story for so many
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: of us. And I'm curious about how that you know
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: you like you said when you went back to when
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: you found your way to powerlifting, by the time you
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: found your way there, you had lost one hundred pounds.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: How do you feel now about being a lifter.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: With a body that is you know that you're sharing
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: with others and saying I'm now powerful.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: You're not going to tell the story.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Tell tell us about the body story that you want
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: to share with others.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: I feel great about it because when I started, there
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: were not a lot of women that look like me,
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: a lot of plus sized women on the scene, not
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: a lot of women in the sports. But they are
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: busting out the scenes now like they are women that
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: are like you inspired me to go lift, You inspired
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: me to move my body. I've lost one hundred pounds
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: by doing not one liquor cardio, just from weightlifting and
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: resistance straining you. So, I think that's a heavy burden,
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: but it's a great burden to carry because all I
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: had to do was be me in order to inspire
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: so many other people, and I did not change.
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: So it just feels really good.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: It feels really good to see people now that look
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: like me as well, inspiring the ones that are going
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: to come behind me.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: So right, it sounds to me like you replaced a
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: lot of shame with a lot of pride.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: I have. Yeah, that's why I had a mantar a
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: couple of years ago.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: My strength is my sexy, Like being big, bowl, beautiful
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: and strong is a great thing, and your strength should
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: be your sexy.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Oh that's awesome. That's so at any size, you know
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: whether you're right, you know, eactly exactly. That's what's so cool.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: That's what's so cool. I think about your message and
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: about you know, resistantly just any kind of strength training, right,
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: is that you're really you know, you're only competing against
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: yourself at the end of the day. Like it's like
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: you have that bar and you can either lift it
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: or you can't. And it doesn't matter if the person
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: next to you can lift double what you can lift
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: or half of what you can lift.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: And you know, it's.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Interesting here again, it's it's these two aspects what I
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: heard you say when you're talking about what Dan gave
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: you as your coach, the technical stuff. I want to
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: talk about that because it's really fascinating.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes when we just.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Look at people, you know, lifting away, we're like, yeah,
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: you just go up, grabb the bar lifted up, And
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: it's actually so detailed and so specific. It's you know,
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: micro micro movements or happening there that make it possible.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: But also the psychological aspect where you're saying, like somebody
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: saying to you, you can do this, and I would say,
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: and I wonder if you agree with this tomorrow, But
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I would say, you know, you said he believed in you,
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: and you didn't believe in yourself. But what I think
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: is deep deep inside yourself, like the truest, wisest voice
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: inside of you actually does believe in yourself. And so
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: when Dad said that to you, that wise stage in
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: you is saying he's right.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: It's just that it's so hard for us sometimes to
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: believe that that deepest truth that in our gut, you know,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: because of course it's replaced by all those other things
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: that say, oh you can't, or you're too you weigh
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: too much, or like those people snickering at you in
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: the gym, you know, and our true voices get drowned out.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: And so when you meet somebody who sees your beauty
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: and your power like that is that is you know,
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: we need those people to extend their hands to us.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: But it's really up to us to say, yeah, I
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: know this at my deepest level.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: I think as a coach, what I tell my clients
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: always when they start with me, is that do you
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna pull out what
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: you already have inside. It's in there. We are all
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: natural born fighters. We come into this world fighting for
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: our lives. You think you're not a fighter. All I'm
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: gonna do is pull out what you already got inside
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: and I kind of guide you through it.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my gosh, yeah yeah. And my work is
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: dear sugar giving advice. I always said the same thing.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not telling you what to do. I'm
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: telling you what you know.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Already, but you're afraid to know.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: I'm curious about like your process with you know, how
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: you execute a lift, what is going on in your
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: body and your mind, and how how you train yourself
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: to do those those moves correctly and with all your power.
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: So I think one of the things I'll start off
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: with my deadlift, because everyone talks about my deadlifts set
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: up when I approach the bar and I'm walking back
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: and forth like at the end of the day, like
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: I'm people think it's a setup, but I am actually
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: rooting into the floor. I am firing up my quads,
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: I am tightening my back, I am sitting in and
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: activating my glutes.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: There's so many things that's happening.
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: It looks like show, right, like you see that moment,
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: Like it looks like show when I throw my hands,
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: But none of that's for show. Like that is me
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: becoming one with the weight, and that is me seeing
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: the end result before I even start, Like I tell
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: people all the time, before it's already done. It is
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: already done. Like I have learned to be very dlulu.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: So whether I have this or not, I have to
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: believe it right in order to get it done.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: So I've conditioned myself that way.
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: But there's so many micro things that you can do
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: that can make or break a lift. Foot placement, not
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: find up your quads, not getting the right brace into
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: your belly before you start. There's breathing, there's bracing, there's moving,
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: there's being intentional. There's so many times that I see
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: people work up to us heavy set in weight and
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: they haven't corrected the lighter weight first, but they're still
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: going up, Like you gotta correct it at the bottom
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: in order to be successful at the top. How you
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: start is how you finish. If you're not hitting depth
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: with the lighter weight, best believe you're not gonna hit
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: it when it's two times heavier. So I think a
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: lot of those things people tend to miss. And that's
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: the one thing too, as a coach that I'm very
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: intentional about because Dan poured that into me. It wasn't
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: about how quick we can get to six hundred, it
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: was how optimally and easy I can get there chip
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: by chip, brick by brick, pound by pound and doing
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: a lot of the high volume reps and high volume sets.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: Like there would be people in the gym next me,
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: and I was like, well, Dan, all of them over
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: there doing Larce nose press and all over them over
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: there doing photo press. Why do I only just regular bench?
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: He's like, tomorrow, you ain't got a weakness that needs
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: this photo or largs press, So I'm not giving it
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: to you just because it's the craze right now. And
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: that's the way that I operate with my clients now too,
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: just making sure that I point out the little things
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: that a lot of big coaches do not.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think I think it's really tempting to
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: just rush up, you know, up in wait, because you're like,
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: that's that's the measurement that we like. We we say like,
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: oh you can lift this much, and that's like, okay,
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: that's how good you are, right, A fascinating point for
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: me that I'd love for you to take us inside it,
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: like how is it? And and and maybe I should
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: back up, because I will say you did injure.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: You were benching, you injured, You popped a pack.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: As I said, tell us what popping a peck is
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: and what that feels like.
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: It feels like the thickest rubber band, you know. Think
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: about one of those bands that you use in the
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: gym to warm up with, like the stretchy bands. Yeah,
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: think about that pulling to max capacity and you're hearing
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: it ripple and pop under your skin.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: So I literally was benching three ninety one.
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: This was two weeks out from my next competition would
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: have been, which would have been in twenty twenty three. Yeah,
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: twenty twenty two, actually sorry, twenty twenty two. So the
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: bars coming down I have three ninety one, felt great,
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: everything looks good, no indicating signs that this was gonna happen.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: And I literally heard a pop and my shoulder collapsed.
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: Couldn't open my fingers. My coach was there. He pulled
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: the connor, pulled the bar up. I still couldn't get
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: my fingers loosen out. As soon as they opened my fingers,
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: my arm just dropped. So I literally popped my peck
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: clean off the bone, clean off the bone.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: So it was one hundred percent tire. Yeah wow.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: So yeah, okay, so we can see you. Your arm
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: is still attached to you. So I assumed, did you
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: have to have surgery.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: Or I did have surgery.
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: I literally had the moment that Lizzie Vaughan had because
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: I popped my pectorial and I was like, I can
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: still squat and bend. I mean, sorry, I can squat
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: and I can still dead lift because I'm only two
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: weeks out. Like as an athlete, you trained so long
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: and so hard all this one moment and then you're
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: like you couldn't pop after camp competition, like what you know?
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: But I did have surgery. So my surgery was a
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: week later. My surgeant absolutely amazing. Okay, so literally he
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: always tells me, now, girl, you got a bionic arm.
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: That that that that pecane going nowhere. So they had
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: to pull put like a I forgot what they call it,
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: but they can. They reconnected everything. They put an anchor
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: in there. And yeah, about six months in I started
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: benching the bar again.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: So you're back. We did it brick by brick, Yeah,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: one at a time.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: So I'm curious about.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: What it takes to kind of build that, to put
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: those bricks in place. And I think a lot of Again,
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: you know, we see you on the stage and it's
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: almost like a performance.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: It's this exciting thing. But what's behind that is.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Putting in the hours, And I wonder what if you
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: can talk to me about what you think? You know,
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: I think about motivation as something like I have a
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: goal and I want to you know, I want to
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: win this competition or lift this amount of weight or
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: run this many miles.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: But it takes a lot.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: Of something else, and that is just consistency and dedication.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: And what to you, what roles do dedication versus motivation
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: play in your life? What's the difference and and what
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: what role do they play in your life?
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: Motivation die off four or five years ago.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: I'm not here because I'm unmotivated because just like the
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: other person down the street, of the person getting ready
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: to go to the gym. Right now, some days I'm
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: like stomping like a two year old going out the
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: front door, pissed in my car until I get there.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: The hardest part's getting there. So I'm dedicated to this.
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: I'm dedicating this to this, like I pay my phone
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: bill every month. When I pick up the phone, I
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: want to be able to call you. I'm dedicated to this,
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: like I pay the light bill. I'm dedicated, Like I
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: pay my kid's jiu jitsu class. I'm dedicated to this.
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: I'm not motivated by any of this, right, And I
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: think it's important for people to understand that there's a
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: major difference in doing this and being motivated or dedicated.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: Right. Dedication stays there forever. Right.
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: That's like consistance, relentless drive to do what you said
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: that you were going to do from when you started
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: remembering your why, motivations like oh, I lost the ten
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: pounds and that's all I wanted to lose, and I'm
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: done there.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: I still work in corporate America.
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: I am a coach, and I coach more than one
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: hundred athletes right now, like I think of it, I'm
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: over one hundred right now. Wow, I still work in
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: corporate America four days a week.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have kids.
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: I manage two multimillion dollar assets as a property manager.
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: I work from nine to five every single day, while
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: coaching people, while still being a mom, while still being
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: a girlfriend, while still owning a dog that I have
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: to walk it late at night because he's leash reactive. Like,
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: there's so much that people don't see. And that sounds
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: like a lot, But at the end of the day,
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: I'm dedicated and I stick to my schedule, and I'm
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: not here because I'm motivated. I'm here because I'm doing
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: this for me, and that's what I pour into everyone,
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: like you can get it done.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: I actually have, you know, on this podcast we also
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: give some advice tomorrow, and I have a letter that
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: was written to me asking for advice.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: That is.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I think I'm going to read it to you now
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: because I think a lot of that's what you just
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: said we were going to want to apply to this
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: letter writer. Can I read you this letter and will
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: you help me give some advice?
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, I have a feeling you're going to be pretty
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: good at that.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, dear Sugar, I'm a thirty nine year old woman
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: with two beautiful children ages three and five, which we
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: both know. You're in the trenches when you've got kids
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: three and five.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: Right, that's when I started. That's right.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, I have two beautiful children ages three and five,
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: and a great husband and a full time job.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, we've got some things in common.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: Right. When I have a moment to think about my life,
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: I feel nothing but sheer gratitude. I want to say
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: that before I complain to you about how hard my
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: life feels on a daily basis. Most nights I fall
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: into bed, exhausted by the endless struggle to balance it
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: all work, kids, the house, getting dinner on the table, fulfilling,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: extended family obligations, and everything else. There's a lot of
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: joy in our chaos, but I often feel overwhelmed and
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: vaguely resentful. My husband feels overwhelmed too. Last summer we
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: had a talk about how we both needed more quote
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: unquote me time, and we specifically wanted to get more
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: regular exercise back into our lives. So we made a schedule.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Three times a week we each get an hour or
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: two to do our thing. It's worked out really well.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: From him, he doesn't even hesitate to get out the
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: door to go to the gym or run with a
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: friend or attend his weekly yoga class. I, however, am
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: a different story. I occasionally use my time to go
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: for a hike or bike ride, but most of the
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: time I do things like make a cost go run,
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: which admittedly is much more relaxing when you don't have
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: two preschoolers in tow. Or I'll stay home and organize
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: a messy closet because how else is it ever going
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: to get done. Or I'll end up skipping my me
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: time altogether and opting to join my family on an outing,
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: even though my husband assures me he can take the
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: kids on his own.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: I used to love to exercise.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: I didn't do anything major, but I moved my body
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: and worked my muscles, and I always appreciated how that
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: made me feel, both physically and emotionally. It was part
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: of my daily life until I became a mom. But
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: now I can't seem to get back to it. I
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: think what's going on is I have this nagging sense
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: of mom guilt that says I have when I have
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: time away from my kids, I need to be productive
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: in some way that benefits my family rather than just
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: benefits me. I feel stuck, and I wonder if you
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: have any words of wisdom for me, sugar, How do
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: I break out of this pattern of resisting something I know.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: Will be good for me?
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Signed?
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Formally Fit? Okay, we relate to this letter, don't we.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: So much? Formally Fit?
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: I would have thought that I wrote that letter, you know, wow,
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: at one point in my life, Like I think so
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: many women have written that letter, whether they wrote it,
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: said it out loud, thought about it. And mom guilts
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: is so loud, even when it's so silent, like my grandmother.
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: The ows to say, silence is deafening, right. I remember
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: moments in the beginning where it's like, hey, I'm going
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: to the gym right in This is me at my
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: biggest weight, thinking that I'm doing something great for myself.
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: But people are like, oh really, Like no one cheered
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: for me, no one cheered me on, no one encouraged me.
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: So I would say to formally Fit, do not let
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: mom guilt stop you, because you have to remember your why,
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: why you're doing it. You loved fitness and how it
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: made you feel physically, mentally and emotionally.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: So before you go to Costco.
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: Girl, go to the gym and then go to Okay,
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: do that for you, because you have that hour to
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: spend for you. So thirty minutes in the gym and
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: then thirty minutes in Costco is your hours. And it's
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: okay to tell Hobby, hey, my thirty minutes I'm using
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: it to or I'm actually gonna take my whole hour
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: in the gym.
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: So just know my neck.
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna be an hour and thirty minutes today because
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: I'm going to Costco as well and kill two birds
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: with one stone. Mom guilt's loud. I remember hearing it
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: when I would be in the gym and my friends
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: would call and like to go to cheesecake factory, and like, oh,
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: I can hear the weight to the back sounding annoyed
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: because I was missing cheesecake factory over trying to save
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: my life. I remember feeling like what she felt like
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: when my mom, before all the records, didn't understand why
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: I spent so many hours and in the gym in itself, like,
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: but the kids are with you, Mom, You're right across
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: the street. You wanted to day with them, So this
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: is what I'm gonna spend my hours doing so I
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: remember how loud it was. But I'm also gonna say
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: to you, formally fit, like I looked my kids.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: In the eyes early.
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: I think I was like twenty eighteen, and so by
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: twenty nineteen I looked at them. I said, listen, mom
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: is doing this, and I have to do this to
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: save my life. I was two cheeseburgers away. I was
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: in a dark place of I would buy an outfit
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: this week, and then the next week it couldn't fit,
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: like I could not do the yo yo dieting anymore,
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: and it wasn't healthy for me, and it wasn't healthy
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: for them watching me live that way. So formally fit,
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: to be a little bit selfish with yourself, it is
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: okay to pour into you because the best you that
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: you become is even better for your kiddos, right because
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: you are going to show them better than you can
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: tell them. You can say to them to be strong
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: and healthy and to take care of themselves, but you
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: can also show them that's eight and just telling them.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: So that's what I say to her.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: Well, and you've modeled that like you're you know your
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: kids were little when you got back when you as
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: you say, you know, went back to the gym to
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: save your life. Imagine if you hadn't done that, you
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: know what might be happening now Instead, you know that
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: you can't, that you can't get out there and do
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: the things you do. Maybe you're on medications, maybe you know,
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: I mean all kinds of health. There are all kinds
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: of health consequences to not taking care of yourself. So
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: formally fit, we are, we are both giving you a
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: gigantic permission slip to do this, but I also tomorrow
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: because you are a coach, and I'm sure that you
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: work with people you know, because it is it's it's
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: hard to develop develop the habit of, you know, getting
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: back into fitness. I've certainly been there in my life.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: I've always been you know, I've always been an athlete.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: But then I've also had times where I was like, yeah,
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: I haven't worked out much for a few years, and
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: certainly that coincided for me as well with becoming a mother.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: Because you're right, and I want to just say formally
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: that you're we relate to this. We get it, like
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: it is hard to get dinner on the table and
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: work a full time job and you know, all the things.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: You're exhausted for a reason, and it's because your life
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: is exhausting.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: Okay. So then also, yeah.
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: I add, it's okay if the dinner is a micromaievable meal.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: I thought that it's okay.
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: If the laundry sits there for an extra day or two,
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: don't worry about that. It got clean clothes in the closet,
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: Like it's okay, that's.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: Ok yeah, okay.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: So formerly we're here, we're saying to you.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: You've got this.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: We're like, you know, we believe in you, like the
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: way back when Dan believed in tomorrow.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: We're looking at you girl and saying you.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: Can learn all that goodness on you. We believe in
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: you grow.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: I heard you say that you're thinking about this next
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: chapter of your life.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: The words that come to mind to you are the rise. Yes,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: what does that mean to you?
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: I've always stepped forward, but now I want to step up.
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: So not only am I just stepping forward, I'm stepping up.
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: So I think it's important for you to put one
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: step in front of the other. But I really want
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: to challenge myself on a climb this time. So I'm
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: going up, and I'm going forward. So yeah, that's what
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: I consider the rise.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: You're going to walk up and over that dang mountain.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: You're not just gonna put your mind over it.
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: Yep, yep exactly. And if I can't walk up and
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: over it, I'm going to go through it. Do well.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: Thank you Tomorrow, Walcott, thank you, and I'm going to
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: wish you the best of luck on whatever's next for
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: you as you rise.
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: Dear sister, thank you, Thank you so much.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: If you'd like to submit a letter seeking advice, you
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: can send it to me at Deardearsugar at gmail dot com.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: your podcasts, Happy trails, and I'll see you next week.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Minover Mountain with Cheryl Strade is an iHeart women's sports
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: production produced by Britney Brown and Rodney Brown of Barbara
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: Jean Productions. Supervising producer is Kaylin West at REALM. Associate
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: producer Amaya Brathwaite. Our executive producers are Molly Barton, Jerry Carreta,
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: Grace Fughs, and Jesse Katz. Our theme song is composed
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: by Gramoscope Music. Don't Forget to Rate, Review and subscribe
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: wherever you get your podcasts, Happy Trails, and I'll see
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: you next week.