Latest / Authentic Living / The Keys to Mental Resilience with Shahab Anari

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The Keys to Mental Resilience with Shahab Anari · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:11
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:36
  Hi, everyone.
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  It's, Roxanne Durhart of Authentic Living with Roxanne.
• 0:39
  Thanks so much for tuning in again this week.
• 0:42
  Today, I have a dear colleague Shahab Anari with us today.
• 0:46
  Shahab and I met.
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  It's gonna be a couple years ago now, Shahab, we're both, members of the Canadian Association
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  of Professional Speakers, and I think initially that's where we met.
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  So, Shahab, thanks so much for coming on today.
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  It's an absolute pleasure.
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  Thank you so much for inviting me.
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  And as you could see, his, you know, for those of you who are not gonna be able to see, if
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  you're not watching the video, I'm watching the his backdrop.
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  So he located in Toronto, but he's got this beautiful backdrop with Toronto, which is
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  really nice to look at.
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  So I'm just gonna tell you a little bit about Jahabin.
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  We're gonna jump into, just the expertise that he brings, which is, so, so, diversified and
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  really timely to talk about resilience in in this the time that we're in now.
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  Shahab Anari is an international speaker and an author who helps the audience to join the top
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  once percent.
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  He's an example that mental toughness is something that he demonstrates just by the path
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  that he's lived.
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  Initially, he was categorized as as a non gifted kid.
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  That I find hard to believe, Shahab.
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  He he first came, you know, sorry about that.
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  He he came 1st amongst more than 1,000,000 contenders in the fierce national nationwide
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  university entrance exam in the countries of birth.
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  In 1997.
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  Wow.
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  He was trained as a medical doctor and, made this big pivot into becoming a speaker and an
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  international, speaker and an author and a branding expert, which we're gonna talk a lot
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  about just actually, last week, he was, named 1 of the top 25 Canadian immigrants.
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  What what a compliment, Shahab, and, he, has worked with some of the biggest names, and
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  shared stages with them.
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  People like Deepak Chopra, Brian Tracy, Jack Canfield, and Robert to Akia Saki, to name a
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  few and he's got or been involved in almost, engaging up to 200,000 people in in social
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  media followers, which is which is quite the thing.
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  He's also has 2 beautiful sons is it Kayson?
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  Is it?
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  Kayson and
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  Aiden.
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  That's right.
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  And he's, happily married to his wife, Kathy.
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  So Shahab, thanks so much again for coming on.
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  And you have had now I've known a lot about Shahab, but I didn't realize that he was
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  physician.
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  And I'm gonna talk to you a little bit about, I mean, obviously, you know, that's quite the
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  length of study that you have to go to become a physician.
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  And you made the pivot from physician to speaker coach.
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  So tell us kind of bit about your little bit about your background and let's just then talk
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  into what that took, to, to make such a big leap from one profession and to, again, another
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  big world.
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  Absolutely.
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  So just like you mentioned, I trained as a medical doctor.
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  I'm originally from Iran and in the Eastern culture as you can imagine, you know, if if
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  you're a good student, you you people expect you to go in either into medicine or the
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  engineering field or law or, you know, that's that's the culture.
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  That's how families think.
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  And and, even, I entered university, like, 20 something years ago, But even after so many
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  years, I still see from, back home in Iran that the still the mentality is the same.
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  And and you need to go into medicine engineering and those types of fields in order
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  to succeed professionally.
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  So that was why I, entered medical medical school because I was a good student.
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  I was a hard worker, and, it ran in the family.
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  My my elder sister my elder brother are both medical doctors.
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  They're actually specialists now.
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  One lives in Australia, the other lives in the UK.
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  So they're specialist doctors, and it runs in my family.
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  My wife is a doctor.
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  So, it it naturally, it it was the path that was expected, from me to take.
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  And I did that, but the moment I entered university, I'm I'm in the 1st semester, I
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  realized that this is not for me.
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  I was kind of disappointed at the way, the whole thing was done, you know, studying
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  thousands of pages of textbooks, like on the surface level without going deep every single
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  semis semester.
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  And, you know, doing it, repeatedly, for seven and a half years on end.
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  That's how we do it in Iran, you know, you you go straight into, the med school and you spend,
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  like, 7, 8 years.
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  And it was kind of really disappointing at the same time exhausting.
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  At the same time, stressful for me because I very, very early on, I realized that I didn't
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  like it.
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  I was not passionate about it with all due respect, with all the respect in the world that
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  I have for this field and for all the medical doctors out there who who work hard to save our
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  lives.
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  I I realized this this was not for me.
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  And, I I as I was I was a good student just like I said, I was accomplished academically.
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  I started helping other high school students who wanna succeed academically.
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  And that was how I kind of got involved with the teaching slash training slash speaking
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  world.
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  And, it grew from there.
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  If you're interested, I can give you more details later on doing this.
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  That's amazing.
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  So the natural teacher, and you showed itself quite quite early.
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  You know, it's, and it is interesting because I was born in Trinidad and Tobago.
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  And likewise too, with the Indian culture and the Middle Eastern on my mother's side as well.
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  That was so also the the academic, push because, of course, education is power.
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  Right?
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  So it was something that, again, with mice, likewise with me, most of my academic, and I
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  was academically inclined, it was like physician, lawyer doctor engineer kind of
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  thing.
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  And then I was like, okay.
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  Well, I don't, I don't fit into any of those.
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  And then, you know, I, I often would, my friends would joke and say, What are you doing?
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  I'm like, well, I'm talking to people, and I think they're gonna pay me for that.
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  And then they're like, oh, interesting.
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  So I could I could understand, culturally where where you're coming from.
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  So now you no.
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  You came to count it in what year, Shahad.
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  So I first sent Toronto Canada in 2014.
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  Oh, wow.
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  So that's that that's not long ago at all.
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  My goodness.
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  I I thought you were gonna tell me, like, you know, 15, 20 years ago, so that's really,
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  really recently.
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  So tell me, No, I came here when I was seventeen as a foreign student.
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  So I've been here now.
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  I've lived in Canada most of my life, but I remember as a teenager, coming to Toronto and
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  everything was huge.
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  I spoke the language, which in retrospect, I realized now you know, what a hurdle was that I
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  didn't, other than having obviously a thick Caribbean accent, you know, I spoke English,
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  which Now I realized, you know, was that's a big hurdle for a lot of immigrants when they
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  don't speak English.
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  So you come, you come basically 6, not even 7 years ago, And what was it like coming to
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  Canada?
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  And, you know, I'm gonna say I'm gonna use the word starting over to some degree.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  It was it was actually starting over.
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  You know, immigration for me was, an intentional choice It was not like I was trying
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  to run away from something.
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  I I I was not moving away from pain, I may say.
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  I was moving toward my goals and desired It was an intentional choice.
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  I had this plan for the future.
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  My wife and I wanted to build a better life for ourselves.
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  It was kind of, because I I had I I was ex I I I was experiencing some kind of complacency, I
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  may say, because I'd reached that, you know, glass ceiling in my professional life in my
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  career back home in Iran.
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  So I was, back then, I was doing I was an EFL instructor, and I had my own company language
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  institute.
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  We were, you know, we we were doing corporate gigs.
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  We went around the country.
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  I spoke at events, sold out seminars around the country.
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  So people knew me in my sphere, little sphere.
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  I was pretty well known, and I had reached, I may say, the peak or or near the peak in my
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  specific field.
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  So I knew that I wanted to do something different.
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  I wanted to make a change.
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  I wanted to you know, bring some charge to my professional life and try out something new.
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  And at the same time, I wanted to my wife and I, actually, both of us wanted to create a
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  better life for ourselves and for our children.
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  So we decided we wanted to go and live in North America.
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  And and That was why back in 2009, we started the immigration process, but it took us, like,
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  5 years to to finally establish, get established, and and lands, and make Canada our
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  home.
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  I'm gonna assume let's talk about mindset because I know you are you live in that world.
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  You we talk you talk about I know one of your keynotes is a 7 I believe steps.
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  I may be getting the incorrect word about mindset.
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  So let's talk about what is a resiliency mindset?
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  And because I know in in this time that we're in more than ever with the coaching and the
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  speaking and the training that I've been doing, it's completely about how do I get myself
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  through this?
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  How do I stay on track?
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  You know, how do I manage my thoughts?
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  How do I keep from being anxious?
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  So many things that we're coping with.
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  So tell me a little bit about from your perspective about resilience and how you how
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  you look and how you think about it and then how you started to kinda get out there and
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  speak about it.
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  Absolutely.
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  It's it's it's not only something that relevant to my personal life story, but it is something
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  that I've been trained in and I certified in.
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  I'm a certified professional coach.
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  I'm a member of ICF.
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  I actually sit on the board of a board of ICF Toronto.
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  And, so so what I'm gonna share with you in the next few minutes is is not only my, life and
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  and and the lessons that I've learned learned through life, but also, you know, the concepts
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  that we all talk about as professional coaches, in our field.
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  So yeah, resilience in my mind is the ability to overcome, steer through and bounce back
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  when, adversity strikes Right?
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  And, especially for someone like me who's a 1st generation immigrant, or any other person who
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  wants to start a new career, or a new life or a new business, it is so, so, so relevant.
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  And especially in these times, just like you said, the COVID 19 times when COVID 19 has
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  turned the world upside down, it is more timely than ever.
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  So, I believe just like you said, the the core skill that helps us become more resilient is to
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  master our mind and master our mindset and the way we talk to ourselves.
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  And if we can control the way we talk to ourselves, and, you know, make it more
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  empowering, then automatically we will become more resilient.
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  Mhmm.
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  You know, it sounds so basic, right, Chahub?
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  And, but it really, you know, I often say to people we have a body and we have a mind.
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  And our bodies and our minds, your mind and your body is no different from mine.
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  And we're wired a certain way.
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  And it it it's simple, but it's not easy, to recognize that our brain is constantly trying
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  to protect us from things.
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  Because it it says, you know, something's coming up for me.
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  So whether it's, you know, I know our numbers in if with, Toronto, again, is creeping up.
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  You're seeing all the little things, you know, on the the little news clips and the things
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  running across the, you know, the bottom of your screen of numbers on the arise, you know,
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  those types of things.
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  So what does that do in our mind?
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  It starts to tell us, okay, Roxanne, okay, Shahab, time to start looking in the
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  environment and starting to protect yourself so that, you know, you can be okay.
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  And I often say the the mind and the and the brain is It's pretty consistent.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  But sometimes the protection gets us away from the the the path that we need to be on.
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  To these stressful situations, especially these days, you know, financially, professionally,
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  personally, in terms of relationships people have been hit by COVID 19.
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  Right.
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  And, if we're not mindful of the way we interpret the events, if we're not in control
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  of our thoughts and our emotions, obviously, we will behave in certain ways that are not really
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  helpful to our well-being and and, they're not helpful in terms of the success that we are
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  seeking.
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  So, yeah, absolutely.
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  It's all about mindset, the way we talk to ourselves, and the way we respond to the events
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  outside of us and the way we interpret the the adversities in our lives.
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  So so true.
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  Right?
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  So you see, you know, when I'm, coaching, for instance, and I'll see someone and how they
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  miss in they're misinterpreting the events, but they've never maybe potentially based on so
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  many variables.
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  They've never been kind of told, do you think the thoughts a little bit, you know, you know,
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  it's kinda a little bit I call it crooked.
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  Or it's kinda a little bit skewed a bit, and have you ever thought about it from a different
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  perspective?
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  And so oftentimes people will go, well, no.
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  That's that's all that's always the way I've thought, you know, so I'm not really sure what
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  you mean.
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  And when people start to recognize, and I think most people are quite open, to recognize that,
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  okay.
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  Well, that's my perspective, but, oh, this there's this perspective, this perspective,
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  this perspective, but I think, you know, we're so I think, you know, I often say we all have
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  these parties in our head.
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  That's how I explain it.
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  And if we don't introduce new guests, sometimes, which is a different perspective or
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  a different thought, we we create the same patterns over and over again, right, which
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  would protect us.
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  But sometimes, Like, for instance, let's think about the perception of COVID.
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  It's it is real.
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  There's certain physical things we need to do.
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  We need social distance.
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  All those things, but then at the end of the day, once you put those things in place, it's
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  what am I doing that with further completing continue to deplete me and people sometimes
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  aren't aware that they're actually depleting their mindset.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  You know, versus upholding it.
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  Yeah.
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  Absolutely.
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  If you don't mind, I'm gonna share an example because some some some people who are listening
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  to this might not be, 1st generation immigrants or might not have 1st generation immigrant
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  people in their immediate network, but I'm gonna share an example that I see on a regular
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  basis and, and might bring this whole conversation to life for a lot of our
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  listeners.
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  So A lot of a lot of 1st generation immigrants think that in order to be successful in a
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  country like Canada, which is English speaking, they need to be able to speak English very
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  fluently, like like a native speaker.
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  And this is so far away from the truth, right, because, you know, if you if you speak
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  intelligibly and if you if you can communicate what you mean without necessarily having a
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  native like accent or native like fluency, you're completely accepted.
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  I maybe completely it's not the right word.
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  You're okay.
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  You're you're good to go.
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  Most people will accept you, and you will be able to, you know, accomplish your goals.
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  And just this simple fact, just this simple is not a fact, just this simple belief, wrong
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  belief, that a lot of immigrants have that you need to be able to speak fluently just like a
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  native deters them from going after their dreams, right, to emphasize what we're
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  mentioning before.
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  It's all about what we tell ourselves And the fact that are we able to change our beliefs and
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  look at the situation from another perspective?
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  So the keyword and the golden word here is changing our perspective.
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  Sometimes we are we're so stuck in the way we see the world and and and, it makes sense for
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  us to do it because we all of us have certain, like, lenses in front of our our eyes, based on
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  the experiences that we've had, you know, the trainings that we've had, where we come from,
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  our culture, and so on and so forth.
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  And and based on those beliefs and the lenses through which we look at the world, we
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  interpret everything and we see our beliefs as truth and facts that are not changeable.
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  And just a simple change of perspective and and if we challenge our beliefs, then we get to
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  look at the world in a different light, and we get to be creative and and solve our problems
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  more creatively.
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  And I could see how that could play out.
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  Let's say when you're working, let's say you have that belief, right, like I said, you know,
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  with my Caribbean accent, and I'm going to a workplace.
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  And I my perception is I'm gonna be perceived as quote unquote less than because if I've had
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  that accent, I'm in turn gonna create blocks for myself that probably is not there for the
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  most part.
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  Right?
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  If I'm if I sound different, long as I'm able to, problem solve, which I think most of us by
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  the time we've been able to attain a job, we've got the credentials.
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  We're getting were being employed for a reason, but if I believe that I'm my accent makes me
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  less than, then I'm probably gonna make myself smaller.
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  And if I make myself smaller, then I'm not gonna showcase what I'm capable of.
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  And so I could, again, that that makes so much sense.
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  So, you know, like my culture, for instance, I'll I'll tell you a little bit about that.
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  You know, it's it people didn't talk about bad feelings per se.
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  Right?
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  So think about it.
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  Right?
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  Like, I mean, I'm not like, I was joking around when I said, early when I became, a
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  psychologist, my friend said, they pay you for that.
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  I go, yeah.
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  They did.
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  They did.
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  They do.
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  And then so the concept of talking about, feelings or thoughts that were not good was not
• 19:54
  normative, and I think it's probably changing with time.
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  So that whole concept about a bad thought or a good thought or a negative or limiting
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  thoughts, it might not have been something that people would openly talk about.
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  And now what we're recognizing is guess what?
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  We all have them.
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  It's not about that.
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  And it's it's kinda like What did you kind of grow up believing about how to think or how to
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  feel?
• 20:18
  Yeah.
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  We may not have been exposed to being an open book.
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  And in North America, let's talk about some of those differences, people are very open
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  compared to say, my culture in Trinidad, I'm gonna assume to a bit a neuron.
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  And then you come here and then it's like, let's talk about X Y Z and you're like, oh, I I
• 20:37
  I don't think that's, you know, acceptable or whatever.
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  So sometimes the cultural differences become important as you talk about mindset, I think,
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  as well.
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  So what was that like when you came and you know, we're talking about mindset.
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  Was that something that you find most of your coaching clients, or you're branding people
• 20:58
  that are coming to.
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  Are they are they looking at their mindset and what needs to be shifted in order to achieve
• 21:04
  their goals?
• 21:05
  Yeah.
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  Absolutely.
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  Of course, I need to make a distinction here, between me as a speaker on the topic of high
• 21:11
  performance and resilience.
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  And my company, which is a personal branding company.
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  Of course, I I'm a part of my own company, and I provide services for, for my clients, but me
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  personally, yeah, I I, a lot of my clients, hire me for the same reasons.
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  Right?
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  They they wanna be more resilient.
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  They wanna, gain back their their mojo, their lost mojo.
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  A lot of them are immigrants and and they're they have been very successful in the past.
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  They are pretty accomplished, but they wanna, you know, start over.
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  And and they use my services as the certified coach to help them, you know, get back on their
• 21:52
  feet, challenge their limiting beliefs and and start over.
• 21:56
  But as for the branding side, of course, my company focuses on providing personal branding
• 22:02
  services.
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  We are clients at my company noticed our success.
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  Our clients are coaches and consultants.
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  We provide them with, different services to help them build their brands and get more
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  clients.
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  And and, actually that company kind of, again, goes back to my own personal life story because
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  I came here and I started.
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  I started the coaching business.
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  I I hit a wall after the 1st year.
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  I had, you know, a really I I I was at the some of the lowest moments in my life during the 1st
• 22:32
  2 years after immigration.
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  And then I realized what I can do to turn everything around.
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  And now I have a thriving business, and I've served a lot of people thank thankfully.
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  So, yeah, yeah, but but when I look at both sides, me as a resilient speaker and my company
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  as a personal branding agency, again, the basis and the foundation is all about mindset and how
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  people perceive themselves, and how people work on their belief system and, how they look at
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  the opportunities out there.
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  Or the challenges out there, do they look at the problems as challenges to overcome or as
• 23:16
  like, problems that cannot be solved.
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  Right?
• 23:19
  Of course.
• 23:20
  So and, again, it's perception, like, to your point, and sometimes you have to look at it and
• 23:24
  maybe recognize that some of this is I've never I've never even opened my mind to look at it
• 23:30
  from a different perspective.
• 23:33
  But I think like with me, obviously, working from mindset as well, there are certain things
• 23:38
  that all of us in naturally go to, I always say as as kind of like a weak link in our thinking.
• 23:45
  And then we have to be kind of keep ourselves in check to say, woah, hold on a second here.
• 23:49
  If I'm tired or if I'm, like, you talked a little bit about you hit that block 2 years
• 23:53
  into your business, you know, what is it that I start to recognize in myself that I need to do
• 23:58
  a little bit So tell me about some of the things that you you hit at that 2 year block,
• 24:03
  you know, when you in your business and what did you have to overcome in order to kind of
• 24:09
  kinda get past those blockages 2 years into your business.
• 24:12
  Yeah.
• 24:12
  Yeah.
• 24:13
  Absolutely.
• 24:13
  So, you know, me coming to North America as a 1st generation immigrant, although I was pretty
• 24:21
  successful back home, starting a business in Canada was a completely new endeavor for me.
• 24:29
  It was completely a completely new work.
• 24:32
  Because I was trying to use my skill set and knowledge and my worldview, from back home and
• 24:41
  I was trying to generalize it to North America using the same principles in the same way to
• 24:47
  build my business.
• 24:48
  And they were not working.
• 24:50
  You know, I was following the generic advice going to networking meetings and, you know,
• 24:54
  passing on around the the the business cards and, you know, following up with an email and,
• 25:00
  you know, connecting with people on social media, putting up blogs, nothing was working
• 25:04
  because I didn't have the proper system in place, and I was going at it from within kind
• 25:12
  of old traditional way of doing things.
• 25:17
  So what turned what what helped me turn the situation around was that I became truthful
• 25:23
  with my self.
• 25:24
  And I I took a hard, honest look at what was right, what was wrong, what I was doing right,
• 25:31
  what I was doing wrong.
• 25:34
  I humbled myself.
• 25:36
  I became a student of business marketing and sales took a lot of courses.
• 25:44
  I started.
• 25:46
  I I put away my ego as the successful up from back Iran.
• 25:53
  I knew that I was nobody here even now.
• 25:56
  A lot of people cannot pronounce my name.
• 25:58
  I I came to terms with the fact that I'm a nobody here, not not in terms of worth.
• 26:05
  Of course, I'm worthy.
• 26:06
  Valuable, but professionally, I'm a nobody.
• 26:08
  Nobody knows me.
• 26:09
  At that moment, I humbled myself.
• 26:11
  I started learning stuff, and I started trying out stuff without the fear of being judged by
• 26:16
  others.
• 26:18
  And and, it it was kind of it it brought me peace.
• 26:22
  The fact that I could try out stuff, without having to protect the successful Shahab Eagle,
• 26:29
  and and the more I tried the more I realized what was working, what was not working.
• 26:34
  And, you know, out of every 10 different things that you try, one will sick.
• 26:39
  One will be successful.
• 26:40
  And and that was exactly what happened with me.
• 26:43
  I tried a bunch of different things.
• 26:45
  And one of my ideas worked really well, which was you know, setting up my business around
• 26:51
  events.
• 26:51
  I've even invited you.
• 26:53
  You spoke at one of my events.
• 26:54
  It was, I I think, a couple of years ago.
• 26:56
  And that marketing funnel and that business model has been working very well for me.
• 27:01
  So again, I think it's it's about again, it's about challenging yourself, humbling yourself,
• 27:08
  looking at the situation through other lenses, and allowing yourself to make mistakes.
• 27:15
  And clearly what you did is you, you know, you were coming as a success with the background
• 27:22
  you had.
• 27:24
  Like you said, it was a it was a choice you made.
• 27:27
  You could have came and and looked edit from a negative lens that said, poor me.
• 27:32
  You know, look at me.
• 27:33
  You know, I'm starting over.
• 27:35
  Here we go again.
• 27:36
  No nobody knows me.
• 27:37
  I've so hard being back in Iran, and and that would have impacted how you thought and then in
• 27:43
  turn how you felt and then in turn your actions, But like you said, it it kinda it
• 27:47
  didn't mean you didn't have value.
• 27:49
  Obviously, you had value, but you had to look at what steps did I need to take based on the
• 27:55
  the true objective facts in front of me to be able to see now I I want to build a business 9
• 28:02
  out of 10 things that I've tried has not worked It just means that I need more information
• 28:08
  versus see.
• 28:09
  Here I go again.
• 28:11
  It's not gonna work.
• 28:12
  It's not gonna work.
• 28:13
  And that that mindset had you taken the point that believing that it's just a matter of time
• 28:18
  till it failed, that would have stopped you from getting to the 9th or 10th option that
• 28:25
  eventually worked out.
• 28:28
  Yeah.
• 28:28
  That's so true.
• 28:29
  You know, the adversity is the same for everybody or might look the same for everybody,
• 28:34
  but the way you respond to it, the way you interpret it, the way you explain the situation
• 28:39
  to yourself means a lot of difference.
• 28:42
  Makes a lot of difference.
• 28:44
  So what do you what is it that if you could give people a couple of tips Shahab for some of
• 28:49
  the basics to to resili and some things that people could let's say people are listening to
• 28:54
  me and they're like, oh, yeah.
• 28:55
  Yeah.
• 28:55
  Sure.
• 28:56
  Guys, you know, you're talking about this.
• 28:58
  What are some practical tips that people could actually apply today?
• 29:01
  Let's say they're trying to start a business or you know, they're a new immigrant that's
• 29:06
  thinking about going out there and not letting their, you know, things hold them back, or
• 29:11
  they're looking at you know, starting and maybe pivoting a brand, what are some of the things
• 29:17
  that basic resiliency tips that you could suggest to be
• 29:20
  Absolutely.
• 29:21
  So this is a broad question, obviously.
• 29:24
  So we cannot pinpoint, specific cases and because of, you know, the time that we have,
• 29:31
  I'm gonna I'm gonna mention some of the basic points that might benefit our listeners here.
• 29:35
  So first of all, be aware of your thoughts.
• 29:39
  And when you become aware of your thoughts, just, challenge them.
• 29:43
  Ask yourself how true are they?
• 29:45
  Like the one I mentioned, you may you may have this deeply held thought that let's say as a as
• 29:52
  a 1st generation immigrant, you need to be fluent in English in order to succeed
• 29:56
  professionally.
• 29:57
  How true is that?
• 29:58
  Can you find exceptions to the can you find role models who do not speak fluently and have
• 30:04
  made it in Canada or in North America or elsewhere?
• 30:07
  Challenge your thoughts that's the basic, basic, basic, the most important skill in
• 30:11
  resilience.
• 30:12
  So changing your thoughts or your thinking styles as as they they say, the cognitive
• 30:20
  style, if you challenge that and if you change that, you will change your results.
• 30:25
  Also, another very helpful tip is to put things in perspective.
• 30:29
  A lot of us are afraid of the future.
• 30:32
  We worry about the future.
• 30:33
  Let's say we we are in COVID times.
• 30:35
  We're worried about our future financially, personally, professionally.
• 30:39
  We are always in the what if mode what if I fail?
• 30:43
  What if I start this business and it doesn't work?
• 30:46
  What if I I I buy this property and and the price of the land goes down or whatever.
• 30:53
  Ask yourself again, what's the worst case scenario that may happen?
• 30:58
  What's the best case scenario that may happen?
• 31:00
  How likely are each of those?
• 31:03
  So it's all about asking yourself how true is your perspective?
• 31:08
  What alternatives are out there and, what do you wanna focus on?
• 31:14
  Absolutely.
• 31:15
  And it you know, it seems simple, but I think, you know, once you learn how to do it, which is
• 31:21
  a simple, like you said, as writing down the thought and coming up with 3 examples of 3
• 31:26
  immigrants that you know hat that has an accent that you may or may not know.
• 31:30
  It could be somebody on TV and you think, wow.
• 31:32
  Here she's successful.
• 31:34
  That just disputed your thought that you had to sound a certain way, and it could be that basic
• 31:39
  but it's, of course, taking the time, like you said, when you're recognizing, you know,
• 31:44
  that's, you know, I was at 60,000 thoughts a day, that we have and to to really get yourself
• 31:50
  in that mindset to stop the ones, that are negative that, you know, really it's it's just
• 31:55
  a thought Right?
• 31:56
  We have good ones and bad ones.
• 31:58
  How do you cope with it?
• 32:00
  Now Shahab, if people are thinking that they might want to reach out to you.
• 32:04
  Like, they may want to have you speak at their events, in reference to, you know, either the
• 32:11
  the branding and to your business or resilience, or if they're looking at, some
• 32:17
  options for attending your events or having you coach, where could they reach reach out to you?
• 32:23
  Yeah.
• 32:23
  Thanks very much.
• 32:24
  Absolutely.
• 32:25
  So they can find me on social media.
• 32:26
  I'm at Shahab and Ari on social media, and my website is northstar success.com.
• 32:33
  And all of that will be in the show notes.
• 32:35
  So I guess what am I what am I taking away?
• 32:38
  You know, resilience is something that I think in our circles we throw around a lot.
• 32:42
  And the way I I often say it to the people that I coach or train is, it it's that we all will
• 32:49
  get knocked down.
• 32:50
  That's a that's a given in life.
• 32:52
  Right?
• 32:53
  And some of the some of the docs are pretty big.
• 32:55
  Right?
• 32:55
  And sometimes you you sit there and you go, Oh, boy.
• 32:58
  This is a big one.
• 33:00
  It's it's kind of gauging yourself and saying, did it take me a little bit less time?
• 33:06
  To get up this time.
• 33:08
  And if you can say that to yourself and be honest, then you you're going in the right
• 33:12
  direction.
• 33:12
  So to know that we have the skills We all have the same brains and body, and it's really in
• 33:18
  what what we can do within ourselves.
• 33:20
  And we can all make changes.
• 33:22
  It doesn't have to be something, huge, it could be small incremental steps that we can take
• 33:27
  daily.
• 33:28
  So again, Shahab, thanks so much for your time.
• 33:30
  For anyone that's wanting, to talk to me about resilience or authenticity in leadership, you
• 33:37
  can reach me Roxanne.
• 33:41
  Again, thanks so much for tuning in.
• 33:43
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne creating the space for positive,
• 33:49
  healthy change.
• 33:50
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
• 33:56
  roxannederhaj.com/blueprint.
• 34:00
  We'll see you next time on authentic living with Roxanne.