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Barra's Bits - What Do You Do When They Say Bring A Plate? · Lisa & Russell

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: When you hit off with your mates and you just
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: crack gags.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Added a lot of colour, humour, time.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: He went to boss level for Barra's Beards. Have some
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: of this. Bang. Gold's 96 FM. Welcome, mate. Morning, my friends.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Good morning.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: How are you?
• 0:17
  Speaker 4: Good.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Look, I just thought I'd drop in today because, you know,
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: I work in sport, obviously.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I've been sitting at my desk.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: All week, the last couple of weeks, actually, and just
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: watching the feeds of all the different press conferences for
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: the NFL, which is in Australia now. So they're having
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: a full-blown NFL game, San Francisco 49ers versus the LA Rams,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: I think it is.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: It's in Melbourne. And the game starts at like 10
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: o'clock in Melbourne, 10 a.m., 10 a.m. on Friday for
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: their audiences. So it's 8 o'clock here.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: But I've been staggered, staggered by the lack of knowledge
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: of Australia and Like, I thought they were putting it on.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: They're from San Francisco. They're not from, you know, the
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: deep south. They're not like hicks or rednecks or whatever.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: It probably makes them worse because they become even more insulated.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: I think they do.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: They just haven't read the Australian Wikipedia page. It's quite remarkable.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: And they've lobbed in Melbourne and discovered some fascinating things
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: that they didn't know about Australia.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: We'll start with the coach. Here's the coach, Kyle Shanahan.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: So he's a.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Senior dude, right? And he wasn't tongue-in-cheek. This is what
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: he had to say about Melbourne.
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: I'm pretty lame when it comes to this stuff because
• 1:22
  Speaker 5: I really haven't been outside the building for more than
• 1:24
  Speaker 5: like probably a 30-minute walk. Yeah, that I don't see
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: kangaroos and crocodiles everywhere.
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: Crocodiles?
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  Speaker 5: I was expecting to see that and it looks like
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: a very normal, cool city.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: He thought he was going to see crocodiles. Oh, my God.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: In Melbourne.
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  Speaker 3: What did you just call him?
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: Dickhead.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: I think you might be right.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: It's like us lobbying New York.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Do they read books?
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I know, but they're just so insular.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Do they not learn?
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: The rest of the world doesn't exist. It's just happy
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: we speak English. They think we live in the outback.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: I thought we spoke Austrian. And we all dress like
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Crocodile Dundee, you know. It's like us. It's like you
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: lobbying in New York, Lisa, and saying, where's the bald eagles? Yeah.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Show me a bald eagle now. Where is it? It
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: must be swooping around here somewhere. And then the MCG,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: they've obviously done no research on where they're playing.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: Oh, great.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Because they went out to the MCG and the guy's
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: comment was, holy crap, this is huge. It's going to
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: be a lot of grass around the gridiron, isn't there? Yes,
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  Speaker 1: there is, mate. There is.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Captain obvious.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: And then the thing that blew me away is, I mean,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: is Melbourne famous for its coffee? It probably is, isn't it?
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Are they the best?
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: They think so.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah well the yanks they cannot believe this is um
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: christian mcafree he's one of the star players he's talking
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: about the coffee have a listen.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: Oh it's it's been great yeah the coffee's unbelievable i
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: don't know why nobody talked about that as much as
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: they should have beforehand uh coffee's been great food's awesome
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: the people are really nice um Yeah, I mean, it's
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: been a really, really cool experience for all of us.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: I suppose when you've been raised on drip filter coffee.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: And the diner.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: And Starbucks, which is like just gigantic cups of coffee-flavoured beverage.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Of whipped cream. 40% whipped cream. Yeah, yeah, horrible.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: Starbucks, I like you.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no. Mate, so they love the coffee. And then
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: they watched the AFL. So they all went to the game,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Carlton versus Geelong. And I was just going, wow, no helmets,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: no shoulder pads.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Maybe we're not the toughest after all.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: A bloke called Danger running around.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Whoa, what's going on here? And the best bloke was
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: the bloke who lost his birthday. He was a coach.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: He was 50, right? And his birthday happened while he
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: was flying over. Oh, because of time difference. It's a
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: national dateline. And he couldn't work it out, right? This
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: is his quote. Oh, no. We're a little confused with,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: when I look at my clock, it says the time,
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: and then I see what my family's time is back home,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: and then I look at my time, and that was yesterday.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: And I don't know how that's possible. It feels like
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I'm in the future.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: Oh, my gosh.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: He lost his birthday. They haven't even been across that bridge,
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  Speaker 1: have they? No. Orlando. No.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: He lost his birthday somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, floating around.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: And then the piece de resistance was they tried Vegemite.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: And how would they have put the Vegemite on the toast?
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: By the spoon fire.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Put it on, which you're not supposed to do.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: With a shovel. They thought it was peanut butter, right?
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Or Nutella or something.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: It was like rendering a house. Guy has a bite.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: And he goes, oh, yeah, it must be an acquired
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: taste or something.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: What is it if you lay it on that thick?
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Well, they're stupid, but they're polite. They are. They're so polite.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: And they can't understand us because when we're friends, we
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: take the mickey out of each other.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, of course.
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  Speaker 1: And they don't do that. Yeah, no, they don't understand.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: When they're friends, they're super polite. Yeah. But then they
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: go the other way. Yeah. After the break, I might
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: quiz you guys. I've got the American survival test. We'll
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: see how you go with it because the 49ers have
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: learnt there aren't kangaroos and crocodiles everywhere.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: The MCG's enormous. AFL players are insane. Coffee's magnificent. Vegemites
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: not jam. And Australia's in the future.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: And there's a time difference. Yeah, it is.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: We are futuristic people.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Here it is, the American survival test off the back
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: of the San Francisco 49ers being in Australia.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: Because we had a laugh at them, so. Now it's
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: their turn.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: And having no clue as to what goes on in Australia.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: So imagine you've just landed in Australia and forget about
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: the kangaroos, the crocs and the snakes and the spiders
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: and that. And don't think everything can kill you. The
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Americans think everything can kill you here, don't they? They
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: see a spider and they nearly faint. They check under
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: the bed.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, there's a fair few things that can kill you.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Well, there is, but it's not in your hotel room.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Drop beds.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: No, no, true.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Drop beds.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: Depends on the hotel.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: That's another one. I get a red back.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: Sydney.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: One of the players is brilliant. He goes, Anne, I
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: know it's Melbourne. It's not Melbourne. It's Melbourne. It's Melbourne.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Very good. Well done. I'm already learning. So here's the
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: extra stuff. All right, you guys, you ready?
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: You're in a restaurant and the bill's $ 100. Yes. How
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: much must you tip? Here in Australia? Yes.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: Nothing.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Here in Australia? Yes, nothing. Nothing. How good are the Americans?
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: How good is that?
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: They enjoy that.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: You're on a trip in the country and you see
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: a sign saying next petrol station is 200 kilometres away.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: Oh.
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  Speaker 1: What do you do immediately? Panic.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: Well, is there a petrol station just up ahead?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, get petrol now. Will you get petrol? Exactly. It's
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: not saying you're sweet.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Australia, again, the servo, so an Aussie says to you,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: the servo is just two clicks away up the road.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Right. What's he telling you?
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: Couple of Ks. It's two Ks up the road.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: And what's a servo?
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: It's a service station. You know, golden fleece, something like that.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Are we the wrong audience for this?
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: I think we are.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: All right, I'll make it a bit harder. All right.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: You'll get this one. What's Chucky Yui? Obviously.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: Well, it's doing a U-turn, isn't it? And you chuck it,
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: you know, like you really sort of like really chuck
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: it on the right.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Leave your mark. You can do it at the lights
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: unless it says otherwise.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: On the left-hand side. You're going to an Australian beach
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: and you see red and yellow flags. Where should you swim?
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Between them.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, between the flags. It's not just for a Instagram photo.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: The emergency number in Australia?
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: It's triple zero.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not 911. Thank God for that. Do you want
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: sauce with that? What are they offering you? Tomato sauce.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Well, usually tomato sauce.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: And what would the Yanks relate to?
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Ketchup.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Ketchup, yeah. So ketchup. Okay, someone says bring a slab
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: to the barbie. What are they saying? Bring beer. Bring beer.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Not concrete. Yeah.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: And what about the hard one when they say bring
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: a plate? Do you actually bring a plate?
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, ladies bring a plate. Yes, of course.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Of course you do. A nice plate of lamingtons or
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: some nice sandwiches.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Or, you know, a nice chicken a la quiche. Yeah, something.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Just not a plate, right? Maybe a nice plate. You
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: can tell I grew up in the 70s.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: Maybe a nice plate of pikelets.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, not just a plate.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, of course.
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: Pikelets.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: A nice plate of pikelets.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: I love pikelets. Yeah, a potato salad.
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: If someone says, I'll shout you, are they threatening you?
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: No. Oh, no. That's it.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: They're bringing the slab. That's a good thing. If someone
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: mentions a thong, where do you look? Their feet.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: To your feet.
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Very good. You're driving from Sydney to Perth. Roughly how
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: far is that? Is it a long way?
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: It's a bloody long way.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Too far to drive. 4,000 kilometres.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: 2,500 miles, Mr.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: American.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So, Billy Bloggs. And if you're in Perth, you
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: don't know Billy Bloggs from Sydney, by the way, as well.
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: No. No.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: You have the Americans say that to you? Do you
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: know so-and-so in Sydney?
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, of course.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: No, I don't.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Heard of him.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: You see, okay, here's one. You see a road warning
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: sign about kangaroos.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Yes. What should you do?
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: Well, be very careful that they don't jump out in
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: front of you.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Keep your eyes open and look to the sides of
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: the road.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Drive carefully. Especially at dusk. Dawn and dusk. It's not
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: a sign like Disney warning going... Up comes Mickey Mouse
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: in a moment.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: No, here comes a photo opportunity.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: Kangaroo, side of the road. Have your pick taken.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: But it's through your windscreen. That's quite the photo. Yes.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: On your dash cam.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: On your dash cam, yes. All right, final question. And
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: this is the one.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: Palmy.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: This is the one.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: You've got the palmy covered. This one separates the tourists
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: from the Australians.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: An Australian says... Yeah, nah. What does it mean? It
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: means nah. It means nah.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: We always finish on the correct point, which is nah.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Ten out of ten, you guys.
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: Well done.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: We're very worldly.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: All right, there you go.