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Perseverance for Kids: Why it Matters and How to Teach it w/Terrie Hellard-Brown · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to another episode of the Five Minute Parenting Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Karen Ferguson, wife, mom, grandmom, and children's book author with a background in K-8 education and a passion for equipping parents to raise confident and God-confident kids.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: In this podcast, we'll cover parenting practices from both a practical view and a biblical view.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Our goal is to help you raise kids with a positive, godly self-image so they can become all they were created to be.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're busy, so we'll keep it short.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Let's take just five minutes and dive in.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Karen, your show host, and today we're talking with writer, teacher, missionary, and minister Terry Hellard Brown, who'll be sharing on the topic of perseverance.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Terry's mission is to empower families to disciple the next generation.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: And she does this through her writings, her books, and her podcasts, Sparking Everyday Discipleship.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Terry is a wife and mom of four children, and she has a bachelor's in sociology and psychology, a master's in education, and is currently working on her Doctor of Ministry.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: And we are so excited to have her on the show today.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: So welcome, Terry.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're passionate about this topic, and you have a lot of great pointers for our listeners.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm going to let you jump right in.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you, Karen.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to be here.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I've just written this book called Drandar the Dragon Knight.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And in this story, Drandar is told by the king that he has a plan, that he has a calling to be a knight and to affect the kingdom in wonderful ways by helping the people and protecting the kingdom.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: But when things don't quite go the way he wanted them to go, Drandar becomes a droopy, discouraged dragon.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so in this story, Drandar learns to persevere, and that's something we desperately need to teach our children.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Our culture tries to teach self-esteem and building up our kids with fluffy attitudes and flattery.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it teaches the false doctrine of manifesting our destiny and affirmations where people try to play God.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we are really, really cheating our children out of the truth and cheating them out of some great opportunities to really grow closer to God and to grow and becoming really wonderful adults someday.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so we don't want to shortchange our children by fluff and flattery.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: We want to help them learn to hang on and persevere and keep trying.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: God has a plan.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And Proverbs 19:21 tells us that we have many plans, but it's God's purposes that prevail.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to help our children understand that.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to teach our children that same truth.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so one of the treasures we can give our children as parents as we're discipling them is this wonderful gift of perseverance.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, without perseverance, we may never realize the purpose God has for our lives.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: If we just give up and walk away, we may miss some of the blessings God has for us.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't want our children to do that.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: So when we help our children learn to keep trying, and that just because something is hard, we still do it.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Then we are giving them a wonderful gift.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, we do hard things because it helps us grow and makes our world better.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to model that for our children.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then when they're trying hard things, we need to cheer them on as they jump into those difficult things.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Three of my kids are on the autism spectrum.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: So there's many things in life that have been difficult for them.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's been a common phrase in our family is that just because it's hard doesn't mean we don't do it.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: We still try, we still work, and we still try to succeed.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so we keep on keeping on.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things we can do as parents is tell our stories when we've struggled in life, when we've had a hard time, when we felt like the outcast or whatever, share those stories with our children so they know they're not alone and that we understand.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: We can also read great stories to our kids.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: And also, there's some wonderful movies out there about people who have overcome difficulties in their lives.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And these kinds of things can help us open up conversations that will help and strengthen and heal and encourage our children.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so we want to help them and help them to memorize scripture, help them to memorize those sayings of try, try again or whatever works in our family to help our children remember again and again not to give up.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Too often we've created a culture where we fear failure.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: But failure, like I said before, it's it can be a real gift.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: We must help our children recognize that and keep on trying to master what they need to learn and what they need to do.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to be their greatest cheering section.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's so important for them to know that we're on their side and we see that they're having a hard time, but we're with them.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the same thing with God.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: When we go through this life, he told us there's going to be trials, there's going to be struggles, but he's always with us.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: He will never leave us and never forsake us.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: So we model that for our children and we teach our children that God is cheering for them as well.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: But we also want to share the truth with them.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to, again, give them fluff and flattery or a false notion of self-esteem.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't serve them.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: It actually robs our children of real a real, fulfilled life.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember when my oldest daughter was, I don't remember, she was really young, and we had signed her up for violin lessons.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And after her first lesson, she came home and she's like, I can play the violin.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, you know, she's little.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: We could have said, Yay, you can play the violin, but we didn't.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: I really felt strongly that we shouldn't.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, you well, I'm glad you had a good time at your lesson.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And she told me what she learned and showed me the screechy things she learned.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, that's awesome.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you loved it.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait for you to be able to play songs.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I said, but you're not playing the violin yet.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're learning.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: You're learning to play the violin, and it will take a lot of lessons and a lot of practice.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now she wasn't thrilled to hear that.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: She wanted to be a concert violinist at that moment, but it served her well because even though she never did become a violinist, she gave it up after a short time.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: She is an artist.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And she recognized from the beginning that it was going to require lessons and learning.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that she, even to this day, is still learning new techniques and new ways to draw.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: But her perseverance has paid off.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, she's the illustrator of my book, Drendar the Dragon Knight.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: And she's a wonderful artist, but she recognized she had to persevere.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it's really exciting to us.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: But she's had to learn that perseverance served her well.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And she continues.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: We also talk a lot about lifelong learning, and that's a part of perseverance too.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: We will always be learning throughout our lives.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so we talk about these kinds of things in our family all the time.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: But she is the illustrator, and you'll see her art in the book, and it's just wonderful.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: I, of course, I'm her mom, but I think it's beautiful.
• 8:38
  unknown: Of course.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's so fun to see when our children succeed and when they persevere and see the fruit of that determination.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's wonderful.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: And we can cheer them on while they're in the struggles and going through that, but we can celebrate with them when they come to a victory in their struggles.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so um one of the things I'm hesitating whether to share the story because it's not my story, but it's such a powerful story because I know sometimes our children are not gifted.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they are struggling, maybe they have learning disabilities or whatever.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I had a friend whose daughter was very limited in what she could do physically, and she was in a gymnastics team or in gymnastics lessons, and she was sitting up in the stands watching her daughter, and these two moms were complaining.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, why did they let her go before everyone else?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna take forever.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And my friend was like, Do I say anything?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And she couldn't help herself.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: She says, I just want you to know what this child has gone through to get where she is.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And she just briefly told them her struggles.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And this always makes me cry, and I'm gonna try not to cry.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: So then, as her daughter got through the obstacle that they were all doing with their gymnastics, those two moms and that mom stood up and cheered her on because they recognized her perseverance, they recognized her victory, and that's what we want to do.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever the victory is that our children achieve, we know that God has a plan and that He is working that out, and their perseverance is helping them to recognize and realize God's plan in their life.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's so important.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we in James 1:4, it reminds us let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: What other lessons, you know, does Drandar learn in this story?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: He has several, not only perseverance, although that's a main one, but he out has others.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: But you'll have to read the story to find out what other lessons he learns.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank you so much, Terry.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: This has been very insightful and just a great reminder to parents, like you're saying, to be our kids' biggest cheerleader and to encourage them to learn that lesson, which isn't always fun to learn, you know.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: We all want to be experts right away, but it's just such an important lesson.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: And your book sounds like just a fun uh way to to uh you know talk about this with kids.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I encourage listeners to to find that book.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: Where's the best place to buy it?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they can get it on my website, which is terrihlardbrown.com.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And there's also some freebies they can download, some free lessons and things.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, actually, it's an extra story about Drandar that they can download for free.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, perfect.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: On my website.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, we're on Amazon.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: You can always find us on Amazon.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: But the other thing I wanted to mention to your listeners is we are also writing a companion Bible study because Drandar is a dragon.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: He can't become a Christian.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: So there's kind of this allegorical element to the story, the king and the king showing him his purpose.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: But Drandar doesn't actually become a Christian or anything in the story.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: But these lessons are written throughout the story.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so we wanted to do a companion Bible study for upper elementary, middle school children to do with their family or on their own.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that will be available on my website eventually as well.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: It should be there by the time this airs, but if not, it will be there soon.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I was gonna ask, yeah, when that's coming out, but soon.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, good.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Terry, it's been a pleasure having you here.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for being on the show.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we're gonna have links to your podcast, your books, you have many of them, um, social media and website in our show notes.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: And listeners, I encourage you to check it out.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: And be sure to come back next week for another episode.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: Until then, have a blessed week.